Over at Inside PA Training, Paul wrote a wonderful blog post about the common pitfalls that many PA school applicants fall victim to while preparing their PA school essays.
Common Physician Assistant Essay Pitfalls
- Clichés
- Lack of specificity
- Weak conclusion
- No theme
- Boring introduction
This is an excellent list because several years ago, while I was applying to PA school, I proved how adhering to each one of these elements was a guaranteed formula for failure.
I wrote a blog post a while back about how to get into the PA school of your choice. Part of my recommendation was to throw caution to the wind and apply with your heart and not your mind. This, as you know, is easier said than done.
Every one of the above pitfalls is what happens when you “think” too much.
The Six Hundred Words (or less) that Changed my Life
I applied to five PA schools in 2001 (prior to The Central Application Service for Physician Assistants (CASPA).
First, I used an essay that I thought gave the review committee everything they would need to see that I was a stellar applicant. It showed my strengths, brown-nosed a bit, and proved that I had the pedigree to be a wonderful healthcare provider.
But, as you will see, it lacked heart, honesty, passion, and most of all . . . grit.
I received my fourth rejection letter as I was completing my application for the University of Medicine and Dentistry (UMDNJ). I was demoralized.
That night I sat down at my computer and composed what would become the 600 words that changed my life forever. I had not read them for over 11 years until this morning.
I had never taken the time to go back and see what made the difference. What had made the essay I sent to UMDNJ different from the previous four flops? I was thinking about this list of essay pitfalls this morning and decided to go back and see if I could find my original essays. I was delighted to find all of them, they brought back strong feelings and wonderful memories.
I am going to share with you both essays. The one that worked, the one that didn't, and I want you to guess the winner. Avoid the urge to reveal the answer, reading through both essays will help you as you sit down to write your personal statement.
When I applied to UMDNJ (Rutgers) I was 0.1 points below the minimum GPA requirement to even consider sending an application. The fact that they opened my application and offered me an interview was a miracle. Yet, I was admitted just a week after my trip to New Jersey.
Where were those other 4.0 Ivy leaguers I met during my interview? They were placed on the waiting list.
I am not trying to gloat, but I want to point out that the essay may be the single most important thing you do. It is the reason I was accepted to PA school.
The most extraordinary stories come out of things grounded in the ordinaryClick To TweetTwo PA School Applications Essays: Why Do You Want To Be a PA-C?
PA School Essay # 1
Why Do You Want to Be a Physician Assistant?
Every day is a gift to be embraced wholeheartedly. It is our job to fill that day with a hopeful and meaningful purpose. It has been said that “the most important thing in life is to live your life for something more important than your life” William James. It is deeply rooted in this philosophy that I desire to become a physician assistant (PA). I hope to provide quality healthcare to the underprivileged, an area of medicine, which I have noted to be dramatically underserved.
I became involved in health care four years ago to help finance my college education. I worked as a medical record clerk in the University of Washington health clinic. In addition to delivering medical records, I assisted the hospital staff in a variety of activities. I loved working with the staff and admired how well they operated as a team. I desired more direct patient care and in January 1998, when a student position opened in the lab, I jumped at the opportunity. In a few weeks, I was drawing blood, interacting with patients, and helping with a variety of technical procedures. I loved what I was doing. The patients were often uneasy when facing a needle for the first time. I was able to comfort them, help them to smile, and ease their nervous tensions. My job required that I work throughout the various University hospitals. This provided an opportunity to work within a variety of settings, and with people of all ages. Whether it was doing morning rounds in labor and delivery or working in the campus health clinic, one thing always remained the same; I found great satisfaction in caring for patients and learning of their needs. I felt a career in medicine was truly for me.
While working at the clinic I discovered the PA profession. I have always enjoyed the complexities of science and have been fascinated by a career in medicine. In pursuit of this goal, I decided to speak with one of the resident doctors in the clinic. She introduced me to the role of Physician Assistant. After that, I immersed myself in research. I was surprised to learn that many people with whom I worked were Physician Assistants. I met with hospital staff, nurse practitioners, Physician Assistants, and physical therapists. I regularly visited the PA at the clinic and admired his significant level of patient interaction and his ability to work both autonomously and alongside other physicians and nurses. I admired the PA program’s flexibility and versatility, which would allow a change of specialties if I desired. I began to focus my attention on becoming a PA. Being an independent thinker, as well as a people-oriented individual; I feel that I am well suited, not just for a career in the medical field, but for a lifetime career as a Physician Assistant.
PA School Essay #2
Why Do You Want to Be a Physician Assistant?
As a child, every day, I would swing on the swing set in the backyard of my house. I would sit there for hours, without a care in the world simply singing songs and swinging back and forth. On that swing, I felt untouchable. Like a bird in flight, my only cares were that of the sky and the beauty of each adjoining minute. In the swing’s gentle motion, I was overcome with a sense of peace.
We wake one day and find that the swing no longer exists. Our backyard has been rebuilt and the ground, which had once supported our youth, has been transcended. We search again for the swing, longing to find a resemblance of that peace. We hope to find it each day, as the product of our life and of our career.
A woman smiled at me one day, her name was Margaret. The wrinkles on her face told a story and, in her hands, there played a motion picture. She sat crouched in a wheelchair; I sat on a stool beside her. I had been working as a phlebotomist in the University Clinic for two years. I was a friend of Margaret’s because every Wednesday at six she would arrive at the clinic for her routine blood work. Everybody liked Margaret; she used to tell us stories of her childhood and her husband who had given his life to the war. She had grown especially fond of me because “I had freckles like her grandson.” She used to come alone, but had grown weaker; this was the first time her daughter had accompanied her. Her daughter looked tired and spoke softly, “The best vein is in her hand” she explained, “it doesn’t hurt her there.” I gently placed my hand on hers, and it was cold. She looked to me and through the cold touch of her hand poured the warmth of her heart. “It’s about time for dinner don’t you think mom”, said her daughter. The clock rang six and I agreed. “The medicines have been making her sick; she sometimes has troubles keeping her food down.” I looked closely at her face; it was thin and drooped to her chest. I realized that Margaret was unable to speak. “Margaret, can you make a fist for me?” “Just like last time.” She clenched tightly. I withdrew the needle and collected a small sample of blood. She raised her head and with her frail hand, gently placed it on mine. I looked again to her eyes while placing a bandage on her hand. It was warm now. “Time for dinner mom”, replied her daughter. I smiled and waved goodbye “Margaret, I will see you again next week.” She raised her head and smiled. Without a word, she made perfect sense. I never saw Margaret again.
In the memory of Margaret and every patient who has individually touched my every day, I have regained a piece of the backyard swing that I loved so much as a child. I have been directly involved in health care for four years. Every day has brought great joy. To be a part of a person’s day is a wonderful blessing. Certainly, there are many pleasures in life. But, for me, none is greater than that which we find in the healing touch of another. As the eternal motion of the swing, it is in this that I find great peace.
Which essay is the one that got me an acceptance letter?
The difference: One is written from the heart, the other is full of clichés, lacks specificity, has no theme, has a boring introduction, and a weak conclusion!
Final Thoughts
The personal statement is a great way for you to really expand upon who you are, why you are interested in being a PA, how you got to this point, and why you think you are a good fit. It is an excellent opportunity to really speak about the person you are. Be honest - write it yourself! We do read these very carefully. - Elissa Love, BCM PA Program in Houston
As you sit down to write your PA school application essay remember this example.
In life, almost nothing ever goes to those who try to blend into the crowd. Your PA School application essay should be different, reflect who you really are, and not pander to what you think other people want to hear. This is a rule of thumb not just for your essay and for applying to PA school but for life in general.
As you write dig deep, don't hold back, and believe in your words. Set your noisy mind aside and try to find that place inside your head where your heart resides. This is where you will separate yourself from the crowd, this is where your journey to PA both begins and ends!
Bonus: PAEA Application Essay Do's and Don'ts
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- Prerequisite Coursework: How to Design the Perfect Pre-PA School Curriculum
- Healthcare Experience Required for PA School: The Ultimate Guide
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- Secrets of Successful PA School Letters of Recommendation
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- The GRE and PA School: The Pre-PA Advisor Series
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Nina says
Hi, I am applying to some PA schools and am struggling with my personal statement. I was wondering if I could get some help improving my essay.
Stephen says
Absolutely Nina, have you considered our Personal Statement Collaborative? You can read more about that here: https://www.thepalife.com/the-free-physician-assistant-essay-and-personal-statement-collaborative/
– Stephen
Eli says
Duke,
That sounds very helpful however my budget is at a minimum maybe we can discuss it further. My email is displayed as [email protected] we can communicate via our gmail accounts as well as GoogleDocs. I have never used google docs but I’m sure it isn’t very difficult. I appreciate the help lets see how it works out.
Eli
Duke says
Eli
I’d love to help, but we have gotten so many clients that my time is taken up with them. I had more time before, but very little now I am sorry.
Duke
Eli says
Hello Stephen
I have applied to many different PA PROGRAMS throughout the U.S. but can not seem to get an acceptance letter to any of the schools I have applied. I have been told many times that my personal statement need “more work” and I agree it is a bit generic. However, no matter who I go to for revision or a second glance the essay still comes out to be the same, generic, boring essay. I was hoping I can get a professional opinion. Also is there a price for your help or is it purely voluntary.
Thank you.
Eli
Duke says
Eli, I work with clients who pay me to help them to improve their essay. I’m Stephen’s dad. I estimate that I give each of our clients between ten to twelve hours work at a reasonable price.
Here are the steps I follow:
1. I read through your essay the first time and cross out unnecessary words, phrases, and sentences. I will also make some suggestions and comments.
2. I will share the essay with you and have you rewrite it by following my suggestions while also eliminating the crossed out words, sentences, and phrases. At this point, we’re only trying to get a working copy so don’t worry about whether you agree with the changes or not. We can talk about those things once we have a working copy.
3. You and I will work on the essay together using Google Docs. We will examine the essay one paragraph at a time. Your input is welcome throughout this process. You can add items at any time. I often ask questions to get you to think about what it is you want to say. Your answers make it possible for us to clarify items which may be vague or unclear to the reader. My goal is to make sure this is your essay and not mine.
4. You rewrite the essay one more time, and then we do the same thing all over again until we think it is good enough to get you an interview.
Consider our essay review service. Our goal is to make your essay unique.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me through our contact form.
Duke
Duke says
Stephen, I decided to read what you’d written about your personal essay again to refresh my memory. You did an excellent job. It’s clear, concise, and informative.
Sonali G says
I absolutely love your essay. I was wondering if there is anyways you can review my essay, especially when I rewrote this thing over a dozen times.
Stephen says
Hi Sonali,
I am now accepting essay submission here: https://www.thepalife.com/the-free-physician-assistant-essay-and-personal-statement-collaborative/
Sonali G says
I absolutely love your essay. I was wondering if there is anyways you can review my essay, especially when I rewrote this thing over a dozen time.
Devan says
Thank you. This was incredibly helpful. I have been struggling with the essay portion of the application. I previously wrote a very heartfelt honest essay about the patients who have impacted me, but felt like it was not meeting the expectations. It lacks a theme, quotes and other cliche things I find in most essays. Thanks so much for acknowledging that a great personal statement doesn’t necessarily need to include these things, and your’s was a great personal statement!
Stephen says
Thank you Devan, you are far to kind.
I think the essay portion needs to be a true reflection of who we are as real people living real lives in a complex and imperfect world. When we aim to fit into this mold of a “perfect” candidate, the one we think a school would want to accept, we lose the point of the assignment: To give the readers a reflection of our true nature, which is always better than a superficial pre-configured templates driven essay. These are a dime a dozen.
Best, Stephen
Suzanne says
Hi Stephen;
This is my second attempt at PA school. I received rejections the first go-around. I have re-written my personal statement, can you please take a look at it and help me with any pointers? My GRE scores are not good and my grade point average is a 3.0, so I only have my personal statement that can help me stand out.
How do I attach my essay? I don’t see an e-mail address.
Courtney says
I love your website! I am just starting to apply to PA schools and I’ve heard from a lot of people how important the essay is. I’m now in panic mode because I’m struggling with my essay. Thanks to you though I have some thoughts and direction.
Stephen says
Hi Courtney, Thanks for the kind words. I would be more than happy to review your essay and give you some feedback. Just drop me a line through the contact form on the site and attach your essay.
Best, Stephen
Amanda says
Thanks for this! I just started working on my applications and haven’t written a personal statement for an application since applying to my undergrad! This really helped put things in perspective! Thank you!!!
Stephen says
Thank you Amanda, I am glad it helped. I will be starting a Physician Assistant Essay collaborative in the next few days so check back soon. We would love to have you take part.
Stephen
Lina says
I think Google Groups / Docs would be a good start. It may still allow for some privacy for a self conscious person like me.. I’m still working on mine Stephen !
😉
Kim says
Stephen and Lina, I would love to join in on the google docs sight! I am about to begin writing my essay!
Stephen says
The Physician Assistant Essay Collaborative: What do you guys think guys: Google Groups? Google Docs? A collaborative WordPress site? What do you think would work best? I am looking for ideas before launch!
– Stephen
ANITA says
Hi Stephen,
I think that will be awesome. My essay needs some serious critique.
Lina says
wow! just, wow! Ok, I feel better now, and am going to work on my essay. Please let me know if you have a review space that others could comment on my essay for feedback.
Stephen says
Lina this is a great idea!
If you want to send me your essay why don’t we see if we can create a collaborative work-space for people to share ideas, reviews and edits. This could be done through Google docs, but I will see if there is a better online solution so people could be part of the creative process. My only concern is that people will be prone to “creatively adapting” others content. Although I am sure if we ask kindly that people respect other peoples work this wont be a problem.
Stephen
Tobechukwu says
This was really a helpful tip, i have tried writing my personal essay but i cant really find a theme. i think i should dig down more. And Stephen your website is amazing. thanks
Stephen says
Something called free writing can be very helpful. Just sit down and dictate or type anything that comes to your mind. Try hard to let go of your filter, the first couple minutes may be things like “my stomach is growling” or “I want another cup of coffee” but aim for 5 minutes and do this every day for a week. You may be surprised at what comes out.
Aim to write about what it means to care for another human being, what it is you feel in your heart when you help someone. Draw from your life experiences. Try to tell a story, that demonstrates the core values which define you, the things that make you unique, the obstacles you may have overcome, the people who have inspired you along the way. I know fear held me back on my first 4 essay attempts. Don’t let fear stand in your way, write what’s in your heart!
Best,
Stephen
leslie says
What a great idea! I’ve already completed about 10 drafts and pretty much dislike all of them. After reading both – I’m excited to figure out what starts to pour out of my heart and not my brain. I was an active duty medic for 12 years and have experiences to share – just a matter of turning them into words. Thanks for sharing yours!
Stephen says
Perfectly stated! 12 years as an active duty medic must create passion in the mind and in the heart. I wish you the best of luck finding the words to express your emotions and your experiences. Let your heart say what it wants and your mind (and your writing fingers) will follow as they should.
I wish you the best as you prepare your personal statement,
Stephen
Brian Wallace says
Wow the second one is amazing! How could they not at the very least want to meet you. I wish I still had my essay. I wonder what I wrote. Just a little encouragement for the rest of you. I had a low GPA and no healthcare experience. I did have a 4.0 in my prerequisites which I had to go due evenings prior to applying, but still my overall GPA was below the minimum required. I showed a lot of interest and enthusiasm. I was honest and clear in my interview. All of these things go a long way. They are looking for a person not a number.
Stephen says
I think this is why we PA’s are just so awesome :-)!!
I think life experience is essential to being a good health care provider. Medical school seems to have a lost a little bit of the person aspect you referred to above. And when we seek “numbers” and not people the environment becomes frigid, most PA’s I know are pretty well rounded.
And you are right, honesty is essential when it comes to the interview… life for that matter, not trying to be somebody else will get you a long way.
Thanks for the comment and maybe your essay will show up some day, I couldn’t belive it when mine showed up with a search of my hard drive… But then again I am a “digital pack-rat”!
Stephen
anthony says
where did you apply?
Kathleen says
Brian,
As a 2015 applicant: Thank you for taking the time this honest, candid, and inspiring response! Reading positive things on the internet is rare, and reading this has given me hope! 🙂
buffchic says
Thanks for sharing your application essays. This is one of my favorite topics, as well, it is such an essential component of the PA school application.
I,too, wrote an initial essay that was lackluster. When I got inspired to rethink my essay, as you did, I wrote from the heart about specific patient experiences that shaped me. And, voila!, interviews invitations started rolling in!
Stephen says
So true! I think at first I was afraid to rock the boat, but after a couple rejection letters I felt much better about throwing caution to the wind. I have been burned by throwing too much caution to the wind, but more often than not I notice that once I let go of the fear life travels a much more relaxed path.
I often wonder if there is a way to fast track this process… you know without having to experience the failure first. But as I raise my children I realize that these failures are necessary. They are just part of the path.
Thanks for the comment!
Stephen