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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (24th April 2024): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers having worked over seven years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Shane Till says
Who would have thought that Classic Rock could bring people together in the back of an ambulance barreling to a hospital? My heart sank as I was handed the patient paperwork: Attempted Suicide. As an EMT, we were transferring 16-year-old Zach to the hospital after he attempted to end his life, I was deeply saddened by his situation. I knew many people afflicted with depression and the immense toll it can take. As we all sat in silence, I felt the urge to do more than simply take his vitals every 15 minutes. A twinge of sympathy rushed through me and I was inspired to talk with Zach about what he enjoyed most—anything to get his mind off of how broken he surely felt. We talked about our similar hobbies and our passion for AC/DC and the timelessness of Classic Rock music. In creating this sincere connection, I knew that even if Zach felt like no one cared about him, at least he knew that I did. How I wished that Zach could see his potential in spite of the somber situation.
Disturbed at the thought that I would not be able to work with Zach to create a sustainable treatment plan, I could not help but wonder about the medical care he would receive and who he would become after our journey was over. My heart ached. As we pulled up to the hospital, Zach gave a weak smile as he whispered, “See ya, Shane. Thanks.” I couldn’t help but think back on my own health adversities at his age and my desire to receive medical care from someone that took the time to truly understand who I was and what I needed.
During my teenage years, I struggled greatly with my weight. Feeling numb to the barrage of unhelpful medical advice and the callous attempts at empathy from clinicians, I was beginning to believe that change was unattainable. In a moment of clarity as an 18-year-old, I finally took hold of all the anger and frustration that I felt and transformed it into the grit and perseverance that allowed me to lose over 100 pounds in eight months. I had unlocked the fire within me to expand my horizons and change my destiny. Now thirteen years later, I hope to instill the same courage and strength in the patients I work with–creating personalized, attainable treatment plans designed to help them acheive their health goals.
Providing patients with a sense of peace and understanding as they navigate through their physical, mental, and emotional challenges is paramount. In the countless hours of study, work experience, training, shadowing, and volunteering, I have developed my innate ability to relate to all without judgment or bias. In my professional experiences, rushing into burning buildings, transporting patients in emergency situations, and now working with the elderly as a CNA in Rehab and Memory Care facilities, I have shown versatility, adaptability, and a consistent work ethic. In my variety of volunteer experiences, including supporting members of the LGBTQ+ community and serving those on government assistance programs, I have developed a great desire to further improve and develop healthcare access for all.
Medicine is deeply personal: it requires building bonds with patients from all walks of life, something Zach so desperately needed–something I despersatley needed. The realization I came to in the back of the moving ambulance that day is this: our decisions determine our destiny. My experiences have propelled me to this time in my life. I have gained a wealth of experiences that have shed light on the importance of both the autonomy and effective communication skills that are vital to being an instrumental PA. My capacity to connect with people on a meaningful basis is unmatched. I will use in my professional career as a PA, as a husband, and a father. I am ready to take full responsibility for the care I will provide. Stepping into the role of a PA provides unlimited possibility for growth and development. I look forward to working in areas with growing need for medical support. Continuing my professional education as a PA will allow me to further foster trust and confidence in those that have lost hope and felt paralyzed by their health needs.
Claire Hamilton says
I’m 300 characters over and not sure what to cut. I’ve had family and friends look at it but am a bit stuck now.
Daunorubicin is caustic: a fact my parents and I learned when I was five and my first MediPort leaked Daunorubicin and Vincristine into my chest. It was the beginning of my treatment for acute lymphoblastic leukemia and we were not off to a fantastic start. I would relapse six months off of treatment, undergo a bone marrow transplant (BMT), and contract high-altitude pulmonary edema before my treatment concluded.
I cannot pinpoint when in my treatment I decided I wanted to be a healthcare professional, but I know being sick set me on that path. Watching as I was treated by doctors, nurses, and physician assistants (PA), I decided I wanted to be one of them. As I grew up and gained life experience, I was driven to supply compassionate, holistic care to people. Providing care to those in rural areas as well as making medical conditions comprehensible became key desires in my motivation to become a PA.
In the summers leading up to my final years of high school, I shadowed at Children’s Hospital Colorado’s Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders. Seeing the other side of my care further sparked my interest in medicine. The moment that stood out the most from that shadowing was when I sat in on an inpatient BMT meeting. My primary BMT doctor commanded the room and managed teams from across the hospital while keeping their patients’ best interests in hand. Working as a team and acknowledging others felt like Destination Imagination – an extracurricular that has been a cornerstone in my life. Which taught me my leadership, teamwork, and problem-solving skills. At that moment I knew that my childhood dream of being a provider was something I could genuinely envision for my future.
I have grown up with easy access to healthcare. When I went to college I learned not everyone gets that luxury. I spent my first two years of school in Casper, Wyoming where I met students that had to drive three hours to see a dentist, let alone a specialist. Crossing state lines for medical care seemed insane. Yet, I would become accustomed to hearing peers say they were driving to Colorado for healthcare.
While I completed my degree at the University of Northern Colorado (UNC), I worked in retail. The best part of my job was helping customers solve problems, even if they were simple. Sending people home happy and genuinely grateful for my help was extremely rewarding; solidifying my desire to be a PA, where I could continue to assist in solving problems in people’s lives to promote their well-being.
To further flesh out the correct medical path for me, I joined a research lab at UNC. The research focused on immune response and cell trafficking using a mouse model. While the research was of interest to me, I learned that I am more driven by working with patients than working in a lab. This experience further honed my interest in the PA profession.
In my genetics class, I was taught how to draw pedigrees – little diagrams used to map out a family lineage and solve genetic mysteries. After my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, I drew up my own genetic pedigree. Extending four generations, I hatch marked those passed on and colored in members with cancer diagnoses. My family tree slowly grew darker and darker and I started to make notes of recurrences, new cancers, and metastasis. In my last semester of college, I took cancer biology. I was in awe of how much has to go wrong in our cells to cause cancer. Yet, my family was riddled with it.
Months later, when I took Dad to a chemotherapy infusion, his doctor talked to us about Dad’s tumor mutations and related immunotherapies. Mutations that had once seemed like jumbled letters were something I could contextualize. I was able to give a simplified but accessible version of the cellular pathways and explain to him what each mutation meant. Growing up I did not always understand what was going on with my own treatment, so being able to give Dad insight into his was cathartic. All this pain and loss from his diagnosis, the time and energy I had dedicated to school, was finally paying off in a way that helped.
In July of 2022, while my parents were in Wyoming, my father suddenly started having intense abdominal pain. My parents drove the harrowing twenty minutes into town and arrived at the local hospital. The staff there were presented with a Stage IV pancreatic cancer patient, 18 months post-diagnosis: my dad. Mom would later tell me how scary it was to see the providers so out of their depth as Dad was too complex for them. After seeing Dad, and so many others struggle for proper healthcare, I want to help fill the gap and work to provide a better chance for patients to thrive. Where you choose to live should not be a death sentence, but for some, it seems it can be.
Ultimately, I have always wanted to make medicine more accessible to people. I have met childhood cancer survivors with late effects that they do not understand and simply suffer through. In explaining things like avascular necrosis, I have been able to give them peace of mind and a greater sense of control over their own health. Providing care to those in rural areas and making diagnoses understandable is paramount to my desire to become a physician’s assistant.
Jacie says
My high school’s basic life support training could not have prepared me for monitoring my big sister’s slowing heart rate. I was sixteen and terrified on a rainy afternoon as I drove my best friend, my sister, home. She was fading in and out of consciousness, doing her best to convince me she was sober whilst awake. While these adverse experiences were extremely challenging to recover from, they sparked my desire to provide for not only the sick, but to provide for all the little sisters in the world as well.
I have always had a five-year plan; a plan that changes with every unpredictable moment. Beginning college, the main goals of my plan included to complete research, give back to my community, and pursue a career in healthcare. Through a series of projects and presentations, I discovered the term adverse childhood experiences and began interdisciplinary research on childhood trauma and its biological outcomes. I would soon reach out to Dr. Hung-Chu Lin, who joyfully accepted my request to be my thesis advisor. Aside from gaining invaluable research skills, my time in Dr. Lin’s Developmental Science Lab has increased my leadership abilities and communication skills in preparation for regional conferences. I led fellow researchers in conducting data analyses and producing posters. By presenting our findings to others, I not only learned how to communicate effectively, but also was able to share my passion for the topic of childhood trauma and its lifelong effects. As a biology major, we are taught the anatomical causes of conditions, but my time researching ACEs has broadened my perspective on medicine to include the psychological effects on one’s physical health.
I was not introduced to the physician assistant profession until my second year of college when a PA walked into a Pre-Professional Society meeting and explained what her job entailed. That same night I added “Become a PA” to my list. While shadowing a PA, Chip, in an orthopedic clinic, patient after patient showed concern toward this person who introduced himself using his first name, “I thought we came to a doctor?” It did not take long for the tension to lift as the altruistic effort Chip made to ensure complete patient understanding and satisfaction was noticed. My time at the clinic allowed me to aid in administering injections, observe castings, and observe Chip in the operating room.
I stood in the corner of the OR nervous about the intense amount of blue I was warned not to touch. Chip waved me over to the table. I watched in fascination as the doctor removed a tendon from the patient’s leg and Chip used it to reconstruct a new ACL. The unique role a PA has in the OR and in clinic was apparent. The PA made a direct impact on his patients, giving his time and dedication to make a personal connection to each patient. The compassion and honesty displayed through this profession influenced my decision to become a PA above any other.
As a college student, it can prove difficult to find a job in health care while financially supporting oneself. I was slightly disappointed when all I could manage was a secretarial position due to my job description not entailing patient care. However, I have assisted in tasks such as transporting patients, helping immobilized patients move or dress, comforting family members, and everything else in between to aid the understaffed hospital. I have come to learn and love the language of medicine and the unique role each position plays by communicating with PAs, doctors, and nurses. My countless experiences have taught me the importance of pain management, the basis of care plans, the importance of empathy, and have made serving the underserved a priority for my future career.
Providing services to those less fortunate is a passion that I discovered through my time at Second Harvest Food Bank. While I enjoyed tasks such as packaging meals, my experiences distributing supplies to individuals in need of the non-profit’s services were priceless. Working with volunteers while receiving gratitude from those who were under-resourced greatly developed my sense of integrity and ability to thrive in diverse environments. I have witnessed these important aspects in the PA profession as they provide inclusive care to patients that have been previously deprived of proper medical attention. Becoming a PA would allow me to fulfill my desires of working in an underserved community and allow me to have a strong impact on my community.
I have come a long way from my scared sixteen-year-old self. The paths I have chosen from all of life’s unpredictable moments have led me to become a more dedicated, determined, and passionate person. Becoming a PA would satisfy my intrinsic passion for learning and serving others, both of which have led me thus far. Becoming a PA would allow me to treat both the big and little sisters of the world and put my research into fruition. All that is left is to check off the box, “Become a PA.”
Whitney Prosperi says
Jacie,
You are off to a good start. Your description of Chip shows the versatility and connection possible for PAs.
I suggest elaborating on any medical knowledge and clinical skills you have gained in your work experience. You may also want to include a story that shows you in action connecting with a patient on a personal level.
Should you want more help, remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck.
Paige says
I would appreciate any thoughts and advice! This is many edits in and I feel that it’s as good as I can get it, but would love any thoughts, critiques, and advice on how to make this essay a winner.
As the call ended, I sat in my room too stunned to cry. Like many, I was laid off due to covid-19. Teaching and education had given me such joy and I had learned so much. From learning to juggle multiple tasks in stressful, loud environments, and how to support students to make them feel comfortable in making and growing from mistakes. Over the past 8 years since leaving college, I’ve worn many different hats: teacher, customer service extraordinaire, businesswoman, and more. My education did not take me where I expected it to, but with every new job and city, I saw a new mountain to climb and potential for me to find the “perfect” job.
On the weekend of my layoff, my sister and I went through our childhood artwork to cheer ourselves up. As I flipped through awkward scribbles and rainbows of color, I paused at a drawing. It was a drawing of myself in a hospital wearing a white coat and a stethoscope. Practicing medicine had been my dream for as long as I can remember as my grandmother was a poor miner’s daughter and the first in her family to attend college to become a nurse. I looked up to her so much for her perseverance and wanted to be a strong woman in medicine like her. I never pursued this dream as I had let 2 difficult science courses in high school crush my confidence and didn’t want to fail again. Although this fear never left and my career took a different turn, I believed this drawing was a sign. I had nothing to lose. I was going to become a PA and I spent the entirety of the pandemic planning how I would achieve my goal.
Upon returning to college, I threw everything into educating myself both about the PA profession as well as my studies. I began excelling in my courses and used my teaching experience to tutor my classmates. My classmates were my motivation to do well. If I could learn it, then I could teach it and we could succeed in supporting each other. My old career became the very reason for my success. I had an innate ability to break down difficult subjects and problems and find new ways to conceptualize them. My ability to pivot between subjects, communicate with classmates, the versatility of my interests, and my previous career knowledge paralleled the physician assistants I had seen at clinics and shadowed. PAs must be personable, quick on their feet, and have the ability to take a problem and use their knowledge and skills to solve the issue and explain it to their patients. My enthusiasm for teaching and helping will be the bridge to my success as a provider as I educate and heal my patients.
Once I began working in phlebotomy and with patients on a daily basis, my experience solidified my drive for becoming a PA. I work in a large hospital lab which is fast paced and stressful. I carry myself in stressful medical situations with ease and am someone that my coworkers depend on for help. I am able to adapt at a moment’s notice due to the unpredictable nature of working in healthcare with patients of all ages. I meet patients who tell me their health concerns and frustrations who feel they are not being heard by their providers. I listen and do my best to comfort them. However, once they leave my draw room, I often never see that patient again. I find myself wanting more connection with my patients that becoming a PA will provide. I found these needs reflected in the daily activities of the PAs I began shadowing. Their ability to listen to and connect with their patients, follow through on lab results, and work as a team with the medical staff directly relates to the connection I yearn for. I enjoy working with my coworkers to brainstorm how to best treat patients and appreciate that being a PA maintains both independence and a team atmosphere to confer with fellow PAs and doctors. I know that I am capable of taking on the responsibility that becoming a PA entails. The compassion and support I show for my patients today coupled with the rigorous medical model training will ensure my success. Although I know PA school will be more difficult than anything I have tackled thus far, it is a challenge I know I can overcome as I have already proven that I will persevere when faced with adversity.
I’ve had the opportunity to teach English abroad and have worked for educational non-profits within the US. This is a testament to my ability to transition between different fields with ease and grace. Due to my experience living and working abroad, I am capable of handling myself in situations where I am out of my comfort zone. I have the ability to connect with people regardless of their background and hold an enthusiasm for listening to and guiding people. Becoming a PA will allow me to use all of these traits to help patients feel that they are in control of their health and have a provider at their side who will value their thoughts. Lastly, that little girl who once drew themselves in a white coat with a stethoscope will finally have her dream come true.
Whitney Prosperi says
Paige,
You do a good job of revealing your resilience and determination. I suggest condensing some throughout so that you can add in some more elements to your essay.
Include more details of what appeals to you about the PA profession. Also, I would include a patient care story that shows you in action connecting with a patient on a personal level. You may want to describe a situation where you calmed an anxious patient while drawing blood. If you have any PA shadowing experience, include that. Describe an interaction between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that solidified your decision.
Should you need more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck, Paige.
Alexis Sargent says
I have done a lot of free writing and this is my first time actually writing out a whole essay. I would love to know if I am heading in the right direction or way out in left field. Would appreciate any and all advice.
You do not always know what you are going to see or experience when that tone rings overhead. My first introduction to healthcare that I can recall was sitting on my mom’s lap listening to Dr. Bolton describe the procedure I would be having in a couple months. At the time I was eight and did not understand what he was saying, which he could tell by the nervous tic of picking at my mom’s cherry red nail polish. Dr. Bolton always took the time to make sure that I understood what was going on and made me feel heard and acknowledged at such a young age. He drew me pictures on the table paper, wore funny ties, and was always smiling. Dr. Bolton’s kindness, compassion, and humor were the first influence on my career in medicine. At the age of eight heart surgery is terrifying but he knew how to keep me rooted, calm, and never getting that doomsday feeling. The experience of being his patient influences how I act as a medical provider.
I truly started my journey in healthcare when I joined the volunteer EMS agency on my college campus junior year. I started as a probationary provider still in my emt class and have since transitioned into an advanced emt crew chief. McGregor EMS helped me gain confidence, leadership, and introduced team-based medicine. Pre-hospital medicine is all about being part of a team and navigating interfacility relations alongside providing excellent medical care to patients. Our system is a chase car system which means on high acuity calls our paramedics can follow the ambulance in their own vehicle. This reminds me of the provider and physician assistant dynamic.
This dynamic was put into play on one of my last calls. Like clockwork, I sit down to eat lunch, and the tone drops. I hear we are going out for a 94 year old female with difficulty breathing. My crew arrives first, and at this time I am the highest level provider. I walk into the apartment and see a woman gasping for air. I spring into action surveying the scene and collecting all the data I can to determine the path of care. I am putting my patient on oxygen and obtaining vitals when my paramedic walks in. He is now the highest level of care provider on scene. He does not say anything at first just observing the patient and me at work. I ask many questions to the witness in the home while continuing to provide care to the patient to increase her oxygen saturation and decrease her air hunger. As we move to the ambulance my paramedic asks the patient a few more questions I had not thought about. As my partner gets the patient ready for transport my medic asks me for my game plan. This is common on calls that he does not believe he needs to ride in with me. I inform him that I will continue to watch her presentation, entidal capnography, oxygen saturation along with her other vital signs. I tell him I have a low threshold for utilizing CPAP due to her air hunger. The paramedic agrees with my treatment plan and sends me on my way. What I love about the chase car system is that I always have a higher level provider available for me to call out, answer questions, and help build a treatment plan. My supervising paramedics have been committed to my training, have pushed me out of my comfort zone, and have promoted independence due to confidence in my medical judgment and capabilities.
After that call, just like many others, I was left with the empty feeling of not knowing. Pre-hospital care is lifechanging and full of amazing experiences but once you hand over care you never get to know the ending. The limitations and drive to want to know more influenced my career choices after college. I knew I needed more than just EMS as I was feeling stagnant and limited in my current career, so I set out on a path to figure out what to do next. My first full-time job out of college was at an urgent care working alongside nurses, nurse practitioners, physician assistants, and doctors. My certification as an advanced EMT allowed me to function as a nurse in the urgent care setting with a few limitations. The urgent care gave me a glimpse into the different career paths. I listened and learned from my coworkers. Every day I saw the need for healthcare education, the importance of preventative medicine, the growing mental health crisis, and most importantly the benefits of working as a team. This is when the deliberation of which career path to take began.
In order to choose a path I decided I needed to see and experience more, so I left urgent care and started working at a hospital. I continue to grow and grasp the importance of team-based medicine. Whether I am doing phlebotomy, lna work on the floors or an aemt in the emergency department I see the dynamic that I fell in love with in the ambulance. The flexibility of my hospital job allows me to work all over the hospital and gain innumerable knowledge, and witness collaborative and supportive relationships between doctors and PAs. The positions I have held over the last few years have provided unique viewpoints into the PA profession. Each perspective cemented my choice into becoming a physician’s assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Alexis,
You do a good job of showing your ability to pivot and think quickly in tense situations. With that said, I like your story about the 94-year-old patient but suggest tightening this up a bit so you can add a few more elements to your essay.
If you have any formal shadowing experience, include that.
Also, you may want to add in a few more aspects of why you chose the PA profession specifically.
One note: physician assistant doesn’t require an apostrophe. 🙂
Lastly, in your conclusion, I would tie back to your introduction in some way.
Should you need more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck, Alexis!
Tia Elpusan says
Hey! I have a rough draft of my essay and any tips would be appreciated! Thank you so much!
The year is 2020, I am on the tennis court fighting for the win for UC Riverside against Illinois State. I am down substantially, and I am the last match playing. My teammates are lined up on the sidelines and my coach is gripping the handrails behind him. I know that it’s up to me to take home the win. As I walk up to the baseline to serve the ball, I close my eyes and clear my mind. As I close my eyes I am transported back to my dad’s hospital room. It’s 2012 and my father is on his deathbed, but his eyes are still so full of light. Before he crossed over, he made me promise one thing for him: to never give up. I open my eyes, and I’m back on the court, with a profound desire to win.With a powerful serve followed by a forehand winner, I hear my teammates cheering and jumping with exhilaration at my win. With the strength and determination of my mind, I was able to persevere through less than ideal conditions and came out successful.
When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, he stayed in a facility where I got to witness medical professionals collaborate to optimize his care. It hurt to see my dad in so much pain, but he would always tell me how kind his nurses and medical team were. I got to see his smile again when his favorite nurse was assigned to him. That moment allowed me to see my father again and prompted my determination to become a medical professional.
I began volunteering at Riverside Community Hospital, where I first got to learn and develop my patient care skills. This hospital is in a medically underserved community, which was extremely daunting at first. However, after interacting with patients and seeing how thankful they were with my help, I grew a strong interest towards helping out these communities. I met a physician assistant (PA) student on the medical surgical floor, and I was captivated by her ability to coalesce with the other PAs, doctors, and patients as a team.
Becoming a PA gives me the opportunity to assess, diagnose and treat patients while advocating for preventative medicine and diagnostic screening tests. Coming from immigrant parents, my goal is to educate the importance of getting screened regularly. In medicine, it is paramount to be vigilant and identify things, like cancer, prior to complications. Before my father was diagnosed with cancer, he thought he had hemorrhoids. After pushing off imaging, he finally got a colonoscopy, and the results said otherwise. Preventative measures might have changed my father’s outcome. I will emphasize the importance of getting screening colonoscopies at age 45 to my future patients, because if my father got it done at that age the outcome may have been different.
PAs impact people’s lives everyday by creating special bonds with their patients through patience, altruism and dedication to increased access to patient care. I believe that my life experiences have adequately prepared me to take this next step in my life and become a PA. Juggling academic responsibilities, tennis, and social life during my first year of college proved challenging. This was a time in my life where I was still discovering myself and my capabilities, and with this, my GPA suffered a bit. However, with will power and a fierce determination to succeed, I developed time management skills and bounced back. I won the Harper Scholar athlete award in 2019, which is given to one athlete who demonstrates outstanding academic and athletic achievement. This was a pivotal point in my college career, demonstrating the reward of never giving up.
Faced with many challenges throughout my life, my ability to persevere through them has displayed my adaptability and I have also discovered my love for a challenge. Claiming success at the end of the tunnel is very rewarding to say the least. The role of a PA is arduous, and I understand that every day I will be faced with a new challenge that I will have to solve. Becoming a PA will let me expand and explore deeper into the realm of the medical field and challenge me in many ways. The PA profession requires a great amount of communication, teamwork, and leadership.Throughout my time as a tennis player, I learned the importance of each one of these traits. Communication is the key to success in tennis. I was team captain my senior year, and I felt like I held great responsibility in my team’s ultimate success. Being a part of the tennis team shows my true ability to commitment, hard work, and well roundedness. My time as a volunteer assistant coach taught me valuable leadership, active listening, as well as empathy to my teammates.
I put passion and heart into everything I do, from the tennis court, to school, and to work, and I am 100% confident that PA school will be no different. I look forward to continuing to follow my dad’s advice to never give up. I will honor his memory and remember him through the smile on my future patient’s faces. It’s not until I begin serving patients as a PA that I can truly say, “I made it, dad.”
Whitney Prosperi says
Tia,
You do a good job of showing your desire to empower and engage patients. I also think your paragraph about raising your grades shows your determination.
I suggest condensing where you can so you can add in a few more elements. You may want to describe an interaction by the PA you witnessed while volunteering.
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, describe that.
I would also include any clinical skills and medical knowledge you have gained along the way.
Additionally, I would include a patient care story. You want to show yourself providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to reveal some of the qualities that will make you a stand out PA.
I wish you good luck, Tia.
A mohamednur says
Hi! I am a reapplicant and I used this editing service last year and now I am stuck on whether or not I should revise my PS for the upcoming cycle. Your comment is appreciated and valued, Thank you!
“Hi this is Afrah from monitors, your patient in room 327 is bradycardic with rates in the 30s, you need to head in there now.” During one of my shifts as an ICU monitor technician, one of my patients who was in a clear sinus rhythm with rates in the 70s had converted to a sinus bradycardia with rates in the mid-30s. I quickly notified the nurse and within minutes a code blue was called. After several rounds of compressions, the patient’s heart rate was finally stable and he was transferred to the ICU. As a monitor tech, I was responsible for monitoring and interpreting patients’ EKG rhythms, oxygen saturation levels, heart rates, and blood pressure. Essentially, my role consisted of paying attention to the fine details about a patient’s rhythm and more importantly, to be the “eyes and ears” of the nurses. It was after this particular incident that confirmed my decision to be in healthcare. I was struck by the essential contributions of each member of the healthcare team and how everyone, including myself, acted quickly, which caused the patient to survive.
I am a first-generation college graduate. My parents are immigrants from Eritrea. Being the eldest child, I felt constant pressure to be successful and at times, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Since I did not have anyone in my family who understood the college process, I had to figure out how to adjust to college on my own. Initially, my time management and study skills were deficient. However, once I started to acquire the necessary academic skills, such as prioritizing my work and using my school’s resources, my GPA improved. More importantly, I began to understand the material and was able to apply it outside of class. For example, after taking an A&P course and learning about the integumentary system, I was able to identify adipose tissue on a patient’s head laceration while shadowing a physician assistant.
I was learning about different careers in the medical field when I had a profound opportunity to shadow John Conway, a physician assistant in the adult ED at Penn State Hershey Medical Center. That evening, a middle-aged man presented to the ED with a head laceration. John and I entered the patient’s room, and John proceeded to examine the patient’s open wound. John then explained to the patient he would need sutures and reassured him that the procedure would be quick and easy. Outside of the room, John showed me the different sized needles in the suturing kits and explained when to use them as well as identified the type of local anesthetic to use. I left that shift with a new interest in the PA profession.
The more I researched about the PA profession, the more I learned that my shadowing experience was typical. I learned that PAs’ practice is centered on patient care directed by the medical model. I learned that, like the PA I shadowed at Hershey, PAs diagnose, treat and perform procedures. I immediately knew this was the right career choice for me because I wanted a career with versatility while still focusing on patient care. I also shadowed two thoracic surgery PAs on their VATs lobectomy case. Throughout the procedure, I was in awe of the PAs’ level of autonomy, even in surgery. For example, one of the PAs inserted a chest tube, sutured open wounds, and was first-assist during the surgery. After my time spent shadowing, I had a much better understanding of lateral mobility and what PAs do in different specialties.
I decided to cross-train as an ICU patient care technician so I could directly care for patients rather than monitoring them from a screen. As nervous as I was to work around critically ill patients, I found myself making a difference. “Jane” in room 313 was intubated twice due to covid, and I did everything I could to make her feel better. I fluffed her pillows, got her as many ice chips as she was allowed to have, and tried to explain why she couldn’t have a regular diet. These were all small things, but they made all the difference with Jane. When Jane’s time in the ICU came to an end, I was asked to transport her to another floor. After transferring her to the new bed and just before I left the room, I took her hand and said “take care.” She looked at me with a warm smile, a smile I had never seen during her time in the ICU.
After leaving the room, I was happy for Jane but dissatisfied knowing this might be the last time I’ll be able to care for her. As much as I valued my experiences and opportunities in the ED and ICU, I realized something was missing: longevity of care. I really value being able to see patients improve over a period of time and following up with them throughout the years. In the future, I plan to work at a family care practice and be the provider that not only lends emotional support, as with Jane, but is able to provide high quality care, like John Conway and work with a team to make effective decisions that will enhance a patient’s care for the rest of their lives.
Whitney Prosperi says
You do a good job of showing your desire to make a difference for patients. You could add in some detail about clinical skills you have gained and any new shadowing experience or medical knowledge gained. If you are worried about using the same essay, you could change up the introduction and conclusion.
I wish you good luck!
Jasmine P says
Hi everyone! Any feedback is greatly appreciated! This is my second time applying to PA school so I am torn if I need a new essay or just some edits
As a child, my grandfather was my role model. My grandfather was strong, funny, charismatic, and at the top of his game. As time passed, the rose-colored glasses of his granddaughter began to fade and the true condition of my grandfather’s health slowly came to light. Watching my hero deteriorate inspired me to my chosen career path. I want to make a difference.
For the majority of his life, my grandfather was healthy. As dementia set in, his memory loss increasingly worsened as well as his health. It was tough on our family. He had to close his business, couldn’t drive anymore, and eventually was placed in an assisted living residence in the dementia/Alzheimer’s wing. I wanted to help and heal him. From the lack of records kept by my grandfather to the lack of clear explanations given by his medical providers, my mother had to do a lot of guesswork and accept the unknown. I wanted to help my mother who as a parent/caregiver was seeking answers and not getting them. I saw a gap in his health care. I saw a gap in the education provided to my mother. This situation was staggering to me and the reason I chose the medical field.
That young granddaughter is now a University of Michigan graduate who still has that interest. I have experience as a clinical informatics specialist and medical scribe at Oak Street Health. Oak Street Health’s primary goal is to serve underserved Medicare communities, typically those of the geriatric and mental health population. During my time with Oak Street Health, I discovered my intuition was correct; there is a disconnect in the medical field between patient communication and the education provided to the caregivers. Patients came in discussing how previous providers dismissed their pain and other issues. It seems more often than not, patients’ providers have treated just the illness or just the symptoms rather than the patient as a whole. Patients also voiced a constant misunderstanding about the procedures they received and the true nature of their health conditions. Throughout my time working in clinical settings and shadowing PAs and physicians, I have witnessed how the lack of consideration of cultural and historical aversions to certain aspects of medicine, such as vaccinations, is due to the cultural experience of people of color. I want to become a physician assistant to aid underserved communities and increase the knowledge provided to patients to bridge the gap between medicine and the underserved. As a minority myself, I want to further diversify the medical field and help better serve my community. As my family are also people of color, it is possible my grandfather and my mother experienced the same experiences as my patients too often complain about. As a physician assistant, I will not allow my patients to leave my care feeling unheard or not understood.
I’ve invested a lot of time learning about the PA profession and the medical field. I began investigating the PA profession when I was in high school. I loved the flexibility and diversity of the profession. Once I was in college, I shadowed a PA and was able to gain first-hand experience. I loved the unique perspective the physician assistant was able to provide the patients. The physician assistant was able to provide an approach that was more relatable and understanding to the patient, whereas oftentimes an M.D. would give a more clinical outlook. Additionally, the physician assistant provided collaborative care to the patients as she spoke with other providers to ensure the best care was given to her patients.
Currently, I am working primarily with nurse practitioners in a heavily dominated nurse practitioner company. While this does not give me much continued direct experience with physician assistants, working with a nurse practitioner provides a similar understanding of the dynamic between provider and physician, and allows me to learn the value of a variety of clinical roles. With this knowledge, I strive to one day be a PA who provides top-notch service to my patients, ensuring they are knowledgeable of the care they’re receiving. I am extremely eager to begin this next step in my journey and I believe that my drive, experience, and willingness to serve the community will enable me to become an outstanding provider. I hope one day I can make a difference to someone’s grandfather, mother, or granddaughter about the care they receive. I am committed to seeing beyond the illness and seeing the person as a whole.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jasmine,
I trust that your grandfather would be proud of the caregiver you have become.
I suggest condensing throughout your essay so you can add in some more elements of your journey. You also may want to soften your language somewhat regarding the failings of some providers. You don’t want to appear to be critical of another provider. It is a fine line; you just don’t want to elaborate too much on this topic.
Add in some more details about what appeals to you about the PA role specifically.
I would also include a patient care story so the reader can see you in action and discover some of the traits that will make you an effective PA.
Also, include some of the clinical skills and medical knowledge you have gained throughout your work experience.
Should you want more help, remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck.
Natalie Hobbs says
I hear the blood curdling scream from the other side of the door. My leg shakes as I know it is almost my turn. I see a boy walk through that same door with life size tears down his face, I knew he had got a shot, and he had a Band-Aid on his arm to prove it. It was my six-year annual check up and I knew what that meant. Since I can remember I have always been deathly afraid of getting shots to the point that medical personnel would have to hold me down. Getting older the fear only grew. Once I hear my name, my mom grabs my hand and leads me to that same door where I heard the scream. We sit in a room for what feels like forever till I hear my pediatrician come through the door. His name was Dr. Shunk, he was a 50 year old man with a witty sense of humor and a passion for helping kids. His rule was that if I counted to ten faster than he was done with my shot that he would stop. I would always skip numbers thinking that I could beat him, but little did I know at that time that it takes less than ten seconds.
Fast forward to having divorced parents at the age of thirteen. This meant now having to accompany my mom to her doctor’s appointments. She saw a physician assistant who carried herself with this ambiance of calm. She made me feel that same sense of security my pediatrician once did. My interest peaked if I wanted to choose a career in the medical field. After I attended a couple more check-ups with my mom, I started to look up to her as a medical professional. She answered every question my mom had and made sure she explained it in a way that she would be able to understand. From then on, I knew I wanted to follow in her footsteps. Once I turned eighteen, she became my primary care provider and it only made my decision of wanting to become a physicians assistant feel more like it was the path I was meant to take. I wanted to be that physician that offered the same sense of calm she did.
For the past eight months, working as a medical assistant in an asthma and allergy clinic I have learned how to give that same sense of security to my patients whenever I am getting an intake or performing an allergy skin test. I fell in love with the ability to ease some of their anxiety about the unfamiliar reactions their body was having. When they finally receive a diagnosis I see a weight lifted off of their shoulders. Working there has only increased my urge to be wanting the one to give the medical rationale of what is happening to them.
The biggest take away that I have found when I work or shadow a PA is that more often they do not see as many patients in a day as a doctor does. They have the ability to spend thirty minutes in a patient’s room, whereas doctors will have five other patient’s waiting who may require the same amount of time due to their diagnosis. This was one of the most appealing job descriptions for me. I do not want to feel rushed when I am with a patient, I want them to leave the room feeling that they have a sense of what is going on with their body.
Whitney Prosperi says
Natalie,
I can sense your passion to connect with patients. I would suggest including some more details about why specifically the PA profession appeals to you. (ability to switch specialties, collaborate with a healthcare team and yet work autonomously?)
I would also describe any official shadowing experience you have gained.
Also, elaborate on any clinical skills you have gained throughout your experience.
If you have a patient care story, I would include that. You want to show some of those qualities that will make you an effective PA. Show yourself connecting on a personal level while providing some kind of care.
Lastly, in your conclusion, tie back to your introduction in some way.
Should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck in the process, Natalie.
Shamaha Oni says
Since the commencement of my education, I have felt a strong predisposition toward the field of medicine. My desire to be a medical provider has been the highlight of my life. Many of my prominent memories are centered around the exploration of the human body and how to heal it. I have made sure to center not just my education, but also my career and extracurricular activities around my passion for medicine. I value the humanitarian nature of the work as well as the skill set required to carry it out. Throughout the last few years, I have struggled through many obstacles and gained many experiences in various fields. However, my preference for the medical field was and still is unwavering. Now that I have finally found the opportunity, I would like to fulfill my passion by enrolling in your program to further pursue a career as a physician assistant.
My journey in the field of medicine started during my Undergraduate years. In 2011, I completed my Bachelor of Science, in Biological Sciences from Florida International University. The lessons I learned in my undergraduate years have always been with me. This was a time of a colossal change in my life. While I was always sure that I wanted to pursue the medical field as a career option, my certainty increased in my undergraduate years. The traits that I picked up in those early years have always stayed with me. My organization and tendency to be a balanced thinker is the blessing of those years. These years also taught me the perseverance and passion that I would require in the future. Since being in the medical field has always been my dream, I was ready to put in all the work that was required and was willing to deal with any hardship that came my way.
My current line of work in a psychiatric behavioral hospital has further made me realize where my true calling lies. My duties include caring for patients with mental and emotional disorders, which allow me to observe the physical, mental and emotional state of my patients and in turn enable me to administer better care. In medicine, being able to understand the state of your patient matters a great deal. Many physical and mental examinations involve reading the facial and physical cues relayed by the patients which eventually help reach a diagnosis. I feel my experience here will be immensely helpful for me in the future as I administer treatment to my patients as a physician assistant. In addition, I currently work as a Wrap Around Specialist at a behavioral health organization where I provide outreach services to families in crisis, counsel them and guide them to additional resources. I am well versed in collaborating and serving as a link between the communities and the providers to ensure the best quality tailored care with added safety. Moreover, I am certified in Adult and Pediatric First Aid/ CPR/AED and Non-violent Crisis Intervention. My skill set enables me to carry out my duties properly while finding the experience thoroughly fulfilling.
In addition to my jobs in the medical field, I have also worked in leadership roles by trying my hand in the medical business and having offered my services as a volunteer. I have been a business owner at Flowing Grace Transport, LLC, which was a non-emergency medical transportation company tasked with transporting patients to and from their health appointments. So even when doing business, I always remained in touch which my true passion which is healthcare. I have learned a great deal as a business owner while carrying out my duties in other leadership roles. During my graduation years, I volunteered as a President for Big Brothers Big Sisters FIU Chapter. Also, volunteered at my children elementary school, as the Vice President for the School Advisory Council at Sabal Point Elementary and volunteered as a Children Ministry Director at The Blessed House International Church. Furthermore, my volunteer work includes working as a health fair coordinator, an assistant at the Flowing Grace Ministries and a medical missions volunteer at the African Mission for Christ. I am also a member of the American Academy of Physician Associates, Florida Academy of Physician Assistants, and the National Society of Black Physician Assistants.
I understand that my academic repertoire is not spotless, but I hope I have made a convincing argument for myself when I say it has only turned me into a better learner and a better person. More than a decade has passed since and I am glad to say I have grown into a confident and powerful woman who has never been surer of what she wanted. I have learned that perseverance is most important when it comes to achieving anything worthwhile in life. There is no easy way to success, and I intend to be hard-working and resilient.
To conclude, I would say that being a physician assistant has always been my calling. The possibility of finally being able to work towards my goal fills me with immense joy and I will not take it for granted.
Whitney Prosperi says
Shamaha,
I would suggest tweaking your introduction so that you grab the reader’s attention immediately. You may want to tell a story that shows when your interest in medicine was sparked. Or you could include a patient care story here that shows you in action connecting on a personal level while providing care.
With that said, if you don’t add a patient care story in your introduction, make sure you include one in your essay.
I would also suggest condensing where you can throughout your essay so you can add in some other elements. Make sure you include what exactly appeals to you about the PA profession as opposed to another type of provider. Is it the ability to switch specialties? More time/contact with patients? Ability to collaborate with a healthcare team while also working autonomously?
If you have any shadowing experience, describe that. You want to include how that helped to solidify your decision.
Should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck!
devon bertram says
Hi!! Here’s my personal statement – I’d love some feedback, thank you so much!
My earliest experience in medicine is not the most positive. As a young child, I suffered from frequent high fevers, of unknown origins. It was only after a suggestion of a urinary sample following a visit to urgent care, that the cause of these fevers was discovered – UTIs. Following this conclusion, and a visit to a specialist, this diagnosis was adjusted to Pediatric Vesicoureteral Reflux (PVUR). This prompted yearly visits to a children’s hospital, to monitor the aggressiveness of my condition. It was decided after a few years of unimprovement that surgery would be needed to correct my semi-functioning kidneys. I’ll never forget that day — the doctor, my parents faces, and my tears. I was eight years old.
Though my memory is not perfect, I will never forget the fear and anxiety I felt hearing I needed to have surgery. My father has a history with major surgeries (of the likes of open-heart), so my idea of surgery as a child was a terrifying one. Little to nothing was done by my treating doctor to soothe my, or my parents’ concerns; something that still bothers my mother and I to this day. Looking back on this experience as an adult, I am incredibly thankful to have had a successful surgery, and functioning kidneys, but the experiences I had are ones that should not be plagued with anxiety or distress. I have been able to take away the importance of a kind face, clear explanations, and supportive professionals within my own current healthcare occupations, as well as for my aspirations as a future physician assistant (PA).
I have tried to keep those thoughts at the forefront of my mind since diving into healthcare in high school. During my senior year, I was accepted into a competitive internship at a hospital, where we shadowed every profession from labor and delivery nurses to respiratory therapists. My most profound memory from this time was observing a caesarean section inside of the OR. Getting invited in to watch by the surgeon was such a blessing, but it was only inside that I realized the surgical first assist was a PA. At this time, I was interested in being a PA, but this realization cemented my decision.
Since that day, I have held a range of positions to gain experience in medicine including a physical therapy aide and resident aide in a personal care facility. As a physical therapy aide, I instructed the direct recovery of patients of all ages and conditions. I’ve learned so many valuable lessons from every patient at my clinic – each of which has impacted my mindset. Within this job, I shadowed a PA, Wendy. Wendy has since been a major influence in my life and interest in this job; her kindness, intelligence, and compassion leaves every patient better than when they entered her exam room. Getting to experience both sides of care provided more emphasis on the importance of empathy and effective communication with patients.
Working as a resident aide provided me with another example of the importance of quality care. The facility, housing residents from hospice care to memory care, affirmed the power of these traits. My duties, including bathing, changing, and cleaning were incredibly important, but nothing was more important than the conversations with my residents. Soothing the anxieties of those with dementia, or checking in on my favorite resident about his nightly vanilla ice cream were the best parts of my job. Each of these conversations, reinforced my prior stated beliefs, as well as helped me keep a promise I made to my younger self – that I would work tirelessly to be the epitome of reassurance, support, and consideration for my patients, so they never feel like that little girl in the exam room at eight years old.
Whitney Prosperi says
Devon,
I trust that you possess a calm and nurturing presence when serving patients. I would suggest elaborating on more of the aspects that appeal to you regarding the PA profession. (ability to switch specialties, more time/contact with patients, opportunity to collaborate with a team and physician as well as work alone?)
Also, if you have a brief story about a patient share that. You want to reveal some of the qualities that will make you an outstanding PA. Show yourself connecting on a personal level while providing patient care.
Remember that if you need more help, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck!
Maya Kay Buhler says
Hi! This will be my second cycle of applying; my first cycle I had 3 interviews out of 6 applications and was waitlisted for all 3 schools I interviewed for.
Here’s my essay!
When I had my first blood draw in 2005, I did not want stickers or toys as a reward. I craved Gatorade. My mother gave in to my request, and I chugged 32 ounces of Gatorade the second I got my hands on it. I recall the gravity of the situation when, on our drive home, a nurse called us and told us to turn around. When they retested my blood, my sugar was upwards of 1000. We could thank the Gatorade, and my newly diagnosed Type 1 Diabetes, for that. This story describes the first of my many personal experiences with the medical system. One of my biggest strengths as a Physician Assistant (PA) will be understanding what it’s like to be a patient. Additionally, I’m confident that becoming a PA is the right path for me because of my aptitude toward teamwork, volunteer experience, and clinical skills I’ve developed as a medical assistant (MA). As I continue my journey, I want to use my education to help underserved families and children in need.
The first of my providers I connected with was a nurse practitioner. I loved working with her because she met me where I was at. She did not shame me, or tell me I needed to find the willpower to do better. She simply sat with me and listened to my frustrations, while still guiding me to take control of my health. She was the first provider to explain to me what hemoglobin A1C measured, which greatly increased my interest in my own disease. I aspire to communicate with patients the way she communicated with me. I kept seeing this provider into my late teenage years, and when I shared my PA aspirations with her, she told me I would make a great provider. This was all the fuel I needed to start my education and point myself toward the goal of becoming a PA.
As I moved into college, I attended the University of Idaho for one year, and then Western Washington University for three years. At both schools I was on the track team. Being a student-athlete gave me a unique set of tools that I will continue to use for the rest of my life. One of those tools is the ability to work seamlessly with a team. I miss showing up to the track with friends that felt like family, all of us working tirelessly toward a common goal. When I shadowed a surgical PA, she told me her relationship with her team is saturated with a similar kind of teamwork. She described surgery as a coordinated dance with her supervising physician, always anticipating their next move and earning trust with each step she took. When I work in the Emergency Department (ED) as an MA, I experience a similar type of coordinated dance as I work with other members of the team. I am excited to lean into this teamwork more with physicians on the medical team.
In my current work as an MA, I infuse a genuine feeling and relational aspect into my patient care. Being that I am commonly on the other side of the patient-provider interaction, I am well aware that each patient is more than just what is in their chart. Taking the time to sit down, look someone in the eye, and learn what makes them human will always be important to me. I take great joy in learning about a patient’s grandkids, what their favorite coffee is, or how their recent soccer game went. Currently, as an MA, I use that information to make the patient feel more seen, welcomed and comfortable. In the future, I may be able to personalize a care plan around someone’s hobbies or work habits. Furthermore, this type of relationship deepens patient-provider trust, which is incredibly important for a successful patient outcome.
Because of my volunteer experiences, I have found that I am especially fond of advocating for children. Five years ago, I connected with a foster support organization. They operate a house that temporarily cares for neglected children before they are placed in long term care. I was a volunteer there for about three years, and I have recently taken a paid position with them. Each child that is placed in the home leaves a different impact on me. I have combed out hair teeming with lice and bathed toddlers with burns on their back from child abuse. Exposure to these things made me yearn for healing for those kids, both physical and emotional. Also, I yearn for healing within their families. When I shadowed a pediatrician, I was able to put the importance of preventative care into context. The goal is to prevent the terrible situations that foster kids get thrown into. Giving families resources, or sometimes just an attentive ear, can change the trajectory of a little one’s childhood. Being a PA, I’d have the resources to play that role.
Even though there are times in medicine when you can change lives, things don’t always end like a fairytale. Being an emblem of safety and support in the rough spots is the most fulfilling part of working in medicine. As a PA, I’d have the tools at my disposal to be that safety net. I’d be able to listen and give patients time to process their diagnoses, as well as connect them to their care. My skills have grown through my time as a patient, a student-athlete, in the clinic, and working with disadvantaged children. These experiences make me confident that I want to be a PA to be there for my patients, like others were there for my family and I in our times of need.
Whitney Prosperi says
Maya Kay,
I can sense your passion to help patients woven throughout your essay.
I would suggest condensing where you can so that you can add in some other elements to your essay.
Include some of the clinical skills you have gained throughout your experience.
Also, I would share a patient care story that shows you in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level.
I would also include more detail about your shadowing experience. Was there an interaction between PA/supervising physician or PA/patient that solidified your decision?
Remember that we are taking essay submissions for our revision service should you want more help.
I wish you good luck.
Carlee says
I grew up in a small town outside of Rochester, Minnesota. Most people associate Rochester with the infamous Mayo Clinic. With both of my parents being active members of the health care team at the clinic I have always been exposed to the world of medicine. I knew from an early age that my path would lead me into medicine. I just wasn’t sure of how.
I started volunteering at Mayo Clinic at the age of 15 and got my first healthcare job at the age of 17 with my CNA license. This led me to becoming a direct support professional at a local group home for those with disabilities. I started during the first few months of Covid-19, I remember being overwhelmed at first. But, I quickly came to love my job and looked forward to going to work and assisting the individuals. JoAnna, one of the individuals within the home came down with Covid-19 a few months after I had begun working. JoAnna had survived Covid-19 but after returning from the hospital, she started experiencing signs of C. diff. I was one of three support staff who assisted with JoAnna and worked with her frequently. Upon onset of symptoms we reached out to our nursing staff and expressed concern. These concerns were pushed to the side for weeks, until she got worse. JoAnna was taken to Mayo Clinic were she was admitted for dehydration and was given an IV and later sent home. Doctor’s sent her home with no real diagnosis or solution. The symptoms continued and us support staff continued to advocate for JoAnna, she did not have the ability to speak but her body language was telling us enough. Nurses once again took her to the hospital, but this time I attended. I sat in on the appointment where our nurse minimized our concerns, so I spoke up. I advocated for JoAnna when no one else would. The doctor took what the nurse said, but ran more tests after my testimony. JoAnna was sent home, and passed away a few days later. In the end, her test results showed C. Diff, which was never properly treated and thus caused her death. This experience showed me the flaws that are within the medical system. I am not naive enough to believe that I can fix the system, but if I can treat and diagnose patients in a way where people like JoAnna are advocated for, then I want to try. This was when I knew I wanted to be a physician assistant.
I had first learned about the physician assistant career from my father. He worked side by side with several in the Emergency Department and mentioned it to me, knowing I was passionate about the medical field. I shadowed one and fell in love with the profession. Their ability to diagnose, treat, and work with all members of the health care team is what stood out most to me. I knew from this experience that I wanted to be an advanced practice provider, but also be able to work in a variety of settings and being a physician assistant would allow me to do that. I have since then shadowed various physician assistants, and each time I am more sure of my path. The wide range of patient care they are able to provide, the collaborative work they do, and the impact they can have on patients are just a few of the reasons I want to be a physician assistant over any other profession.
Leadership and service have played a big role in my life. I strive to be an active member of my community and head several organizations within my college campus. Helping others in whatever ways I can has always been my passion. Volunteering in hospitals, my work in AmeriCorps, and medical volunteer trips have allowed me to combine my passion for medicine and helping others. Among, becoming a physican assiatnt (PA), I have have the goal of serving in the U.S Navy as a PA. Not only would this opportunity allow me to focus on schooling without the worry of financial aide but also to serve my country and continue to help others in a unique way and still do what I love, which is medicine.
In the end, there are an immeasurable amount of moments that I have experienced within both patient care and life that have solidified my career choice. I am only twenty years old but I have experienced much more than others at my age. I will be a three year college graduate and have over three years of various healthcare experiences under my belt. I have worked in a variety of health care settings and have recently traveled to Tanzania to work in a community hospital. Through all these people, places, and experiences my goals have been the same. To advocate for those who can’t and to help as many people as I can. Becoming a physician assistant will help me to further exceed these goals for myself.
Whitney Prosperi says
Carlee,
Your story about Joanna shows your passion for helping patients. I do wonder if you would want to soften the language a bit here, so it does not appear you are being critical of coworkers. I realize this is a sensitive topic, but softening this somewhat may be wise.
I would also include some of the clinical skills you have gained throughout your experience. Include some details about what your work in Tanzania entailed.
Also, elaborate some on your shadowing experience. Was there a particular interaction that solidified your decision?
I wish you good luck, Carlee.
Should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Kate Craven says
Hello! I would really appreciate some feedback on my personal statement, I have been working on it for a while.
Finding the passion for working in healthcare came to me at a relatively young age. I have connected more to the branches of mathematics and science since my elementary education. I particularly enjoyed applying objective facts in both subjects to achieve answers. Whether it was solving an algebraic equation or listing the cranial nerves, I have always enjoyed a puzzle with a definite solution.
These puzzle-solving abilities were of assistance when applying to college. Being a first-generation healthcare professional, I took the initiative and conducted my research into the plethora of medical professions that are available. I then discovered the Medical Diagnostics (Pre-PA) degree from the University of Delaware. Captivation is the only appropriate word to describe the feeling I had. I learned the responsibilities of a PA are vast while still having ample face-to-face contact with patients. Due to my lack of information when initially applying to university, I made it a point to try and understand the entirety of the healthcare system by the time I attended PA school.
To recognize how the healthcare system functions, I wanted to know what it was like before, during, and after a patient’s treatment. First, I began to volunteer in 2021 for my local ambulance corps. Being from a small town with several vital community aspects underfunded, volunteers were responsible for immediate assistance or quick hospital transportation. The EMTs were happy to educate each observer so we could be more involved with each call. Toward the end of my volunteer hours, I could assess, communicate, and immediately treat all patients with little to no assistance. Where patients needed immediate treatment, I learned to think on my feet and be aware of my surroundings to operate as quickly as possible. During transportation calls, I would soothe the patient before sending them with one of the healthcare professionals on duty. While the times I spent with the hospital staff were brief, these small interactions propelled me to continue my quest to understand the functionality of the healthcare system.
I became a Medical Assistant at Kayal Orthopedics to comprehend what happens during care. I mainly operated under one physician assistant, Joel. One patient that provided much insight was Daniel. Daniel was a quiet new patient, and when he spoke, he had a severe stutter. He clarified that he had visited other facilities and did not receive the expected treatment. Knowing this, I took my time with him, letting him explain each symptom. I gathered all the relevant information I could think of and presented it to Joel. After diagnostic imaging, Joel presented the case to Daniel, allowing me to observe. Joel has always made it a point to avoid using medical jargon during his explanations to patients. I could tell this was effective as Daniel nodded after each sentence. After receiving all the information, Daniel looked at Joel and me directly and thanked us. After that, the soft-spoken individual I had met just a few minutes ago sat up straight and had a boost of confidence. “Okay, so what’s next?” He stated without a single stutter. The boost of confidence prepared him for treatment, and the trust he built with us from that first interaction lasted throughout his entire medical care. I hope to educate my patients on their conditions, turning their vulnerability into confidence, ultimately promoting healing.
I couldn’t help but be curious about what happens to people like Daniel after they leave the first treatment center. Working as a chiropractic assistant gave me more insight than I ever expected. Being unfairly recognized as a “pseudo-science,” people often do not take chiropractors’ work seriously. However, they are a crucial component in the aftercare portion of medicine. Dr. Patel operates a one-physician chiropractic office. This intimate setting allows her to create a customized care plan catering to a patient’s needs. I saw how Dr. Patel built relationships with each of her patients, offering them a sense of comfort in an otherwise potentially grueling process. Building a relationship and providing ease of mind directly translates to how the body heals.
I plan to implement Joel and Dr. Patel’s ideals in my future career as a physician assistant. Learning from each different phase of healthcare has provided me with so much information. I am looking forward to building on that information during PA school. I will be a successful PA with the proper education and my innate puzzle-solving ability.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kate,
You are off to a good start. Your story about Daniel showed your patience and ability to make a patient feel seen and valued.
If you have any official shadowing experience, I would include that. Describe an interaction between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that helped solidify you decision.
You may want to include some more aspects of what appeals to you about the PA profession. (ability to expand care to underserved populations or the chance to switch specialties)
Also, include any clinical skills you have gained throughout your experience.
Should you need more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck, Kate.
Mimi says
Hello! I have been working on my personal statement for about 2 weeks now and feel like I am getting close to a final draft, but need help nailing out some details.
To many, Myanmar is an unfamiliar country. To me, it is my home and where my grandfather tragically passed away due to wrongful medication administration, leaving him alone in his final moments. In 2001, my family and I left Myanmar to pursue the American dream. Even in a first-world country, health disparities continued to plague my family. The grim reality of health disparities hit me at age 15 when I watched my aunt lose her battle with chronic hepatitis C in the Kaiser ICU. When my mother’s dormant hepatitis C became active one year later, I became restless. What could I possibly do to make a difference? I began accompanying my mother to appointments, where I became increasingly curious about the complexities of medicine and the intricacies of the human body. Driven by my desire to make a difference, I embarked on a journey to earn a degree in public health. Eventually, three experiences solidified my choice to become a physician assistant (PA): shadowing a PA, my time as a scribe in the Stanford Clinical Observation and Medical Transcription Fellowship (COMET), and working as a medical assistant (MA) in cardiology.
Shadowing Sharon, a PA at Stanford Radiation Oncology clinic, was an unexpectedly inspiring experience. Before this, I had heard of PAs but had yet to understand their role in a healthcare team. Witnessing her expertise and professionalism in action, I was captivated. I stood in awe of Sharon’s every move in the operating room as she methodically prepped a frail 75-year-old Chinese man with stage 1 prostate cancer for his first round of brachytherapy. I admired how the collaborating physician and Sharon worked together like a well-conducted duet. Despite the 12-hour day, Sharon displayed kindness and efficiency while seeing patients, meeting with other providers, performing procedures, or giving orders. This particular moment served as a catalyst for me to delve deeper into the PA profession. Eager to learn more, I shadowed three more PAs in express care, cardiology, and family medicine. My love for medicine was broad, and I was eager to study multiple medical specialties. Shadowing reaffirmed my career objectives aligned with this profession.
During my two years of direct patient care, countless inspiring moments have cemented my career choice. As the sole Burmese-speaking COMET scribe, I conducted advance care planning discussions with several Burmese-speaking patients in primary care. I recall one patient who refrained from submitting an advanced directive for 50 years due to the need for language-congruent providers. She expressed her gratitude with tears at the end of our discussion. Witnessing such a profound impact on a patient deeply moved me. Culturally competent care is a vital aspect of meeting the need of diverse populations. As a future PA, I am committed to bridging language barrier care gaps by honing this crucial skill as a trilingual provider.
Providing compassionate care has been my guiding principle as an MA in an underserved area of San Jose. It is said that “A single act of kindness creates an endless ripple.” Thus, I strive to establish a connection and understand each patient’s background to provide the best possible care. For two years, I have found purpose in explaining medical procedures, tests, medications, and follow-up plans to patients. Nothing compares to the satisfaction of improving a patient’s life, and I wish to dedicate my life to this purpose. However, I aim to have a bigger impact by advancing my training. As a PA, I plan to continue providing compassionate care while diagnosing and treating patients and making critical medical decisions.
As a first-generation Burmese American and the first member of my family to obtain a graduate degree, I overcommitted myself to a rigorous course load, extracurricular activities, and a job during undergrad. The pressure to succeed and relieve my family’s financial strain became a lot to bear as a teenager. Consequently, anxiety crept in, affecting my academic performance. Initially, I coped with binge eating but soon realized it was not sustainable, so I sought guidance from advisors and health professionals. In the following semesters, I reduced my course load to prioritize my mental and physical well-being. Since then, my academic performance has consistently trended upward. In preparation for admission to PA school, I have displayed the ability to succeed professionally and personally while managing two jobs, volunteering on the weekends, actively participating in research, and completing several prerequisite courses with As.
Shadowing, scribing in primary care, and working as an MA have made me passionate and eager to deliver compassionate, patient-centered care to individuals from all walks of life. Given the opportunity, I will uphold the responsibilities of a PA by providing high-quality care, regardless of one’s background or circumstances, and narrowing the divide in healthcare disparities.
Whitney Prosperi says
Mimi,
Your desire to alleviate suffering comes through every paragraph of your essay.
I would suggest adding more detail in your patient care story. You may want to give the patient a name and also add more actions that reveal some of the qualities you possess that will make you a compassionate and effective PA.
Also, elaborate on some of the clinical skills and medical experience you have gained throughout your work.
I would also add in some more detail about what exactly about the PA profession appeals to you.
Should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck, Mimi.
Tsega Haileyes says
There is always a place where everybody belongs and where they call home. My home was Asmara, Eritrea, where I felt sheltered and protected. It was also a place where I got sick often. My childhood was wonderful, but most of it was spent going to clinics and hospitals due to a certain sickness I endured. Eritrea is a developing country and was not gifted with the luxury of a well-developed healthcare system. Despite the circumstances, I was fortunate enough to have had caring and compassionate healthcare workers taking care of me during those hard times. No matter what the working conditions were, the doctors and nurses delivered their best care and bedside manner to their patients. It made me realize the importance of having a comforting and compassionate provider, and that I too hoped to have that same impact on a patient’s life someday.
A few years later, I immigrated to America with my family. Although transitioning from one country to another was a difficult experience, I was motivated by my dream to one day work in the healthcare field. I dedicated myself to participating in school organizations throughout the years, through which I learned more about different healthcare professions. It was not until I joined the Pre-Physician Assistant Society in college that I gained a greater insight into the role of a physician assistant. This organization allowed me to partake in trips to visit different PA programs, through which I learned useful and engaging information about the PA profession. I also had the opportunity to meet physician assistants who shared their professional journeys. What intrigued me the most was how much PAs appreciated the flexibility of their jobs. The idea of working in different contexts within healthcare and learning different specialties further inspired me to explore and expand my knowledge of the PA profession. As I learned more about the profession, I became more confident that this was the career I wanted to pursue.
Furthermore, I had the opportunity to shadow two different pediatric physician assistants, which was an amazing experience that offered me a better understanding of what a PA’s role entails. It gave me insight into how PAs interact with other healthcare providers and the respect they are able to earn. I was also able to witness the relationship between the PA and their supervising physician and how important communication was between them. I was fortunate enough to have a PA that involved me in their patient care and allowed me to participate in the process of caring for the patients. I gained medical knowledge as well as learned how to approach patients with different backgrounds and circumstances. I learned to also handle stressful situations by witnessing the PA accommodate and communicate with their patients. One of the intriguing parts of my shadowing was observing what a typical surgery day looked like for a PA. Observing the physician assistant communicate and work alongside other healthcare providers during surgery was interesting to see. Moments that stuck with me were when I saw families coming in worried and distressed about their child’s health issues and leaving the clinic with huge smiles plastered on their faces. During my time shadowing, I had the chance to witness a PA student progress through their clinical rotation. Observing them and seeing them learn from the supervising PA was also an inspiring experience for me.
Volunteering at a hospital during the pandemic was also an eye-opening experience. I was able to witness the essential role of healthcare workers when attending to patients’ basic needs. Being able to make patients smile by interacting with them during their hardest times was a warm experience that made my volunteering worthwhile. I was also blessed enough to work as an ophthalmic technician and scribe. I was able to gain patient care experience while also learning and growing within the job. This position further allowed me to develop relationships with physicians and gain insight into different types of bedside manners.
My eagerness to be a physician assistant continues to grow, as I envision my younger self back in Eritrea. The little girl, who was inspired to be in the medical field because of the compassion and empathy shown towards her while she was sick, is willing to do just the same for those in her care. I hope to one day provide for and serve the underserved community in Eritrea and in other disadvantaged countries around the world. I hope to earn the opportunity to learn, grow, and become one of the brightest physician assistants to complete your program.
Whitney Prosperi says
Tsega,
You are off to a good start.
I would suggest elaborating on your clinical experience. Spotlight some of the clinical skills and medical knowledge you gained in your jobs.
Also, I would include a patient care story. You want to show yourself in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to show some of those attributes you possess that will make you an effective PA.
Should you want more help remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck, Tsega.
Riley says
Here is my personal statement. Let me know what you think!
On a warm, sunny day in August, I was at daycare with my friends, and we were playing outside like we always did after lunch. The inner daredevil in me tried to hang from the monkey bars upside down. My legs didn’t have the strength to hold me up and before I knew it, I was lying flat on the ground, crying in agonizing pain. My mom was called and rushed me to urgent care as I had suffered an injury to my arm. My 10-year-old self was horrified, thinking they would have to cut my arm off. At the urgent care facility, the healthcare provider was quick to recognize my fear, immediately trying to comfort me and assure me that everything was going to be just fine. This interaction played a significant role in sparking my interest in the field of healthcare and as I grew older, I knew that pursuing a career as a Physician Assistant (PA) would allow me to fulfill my aspirations.
Trying to immerse myself in medicine, I began working as a Patient Care Technician. This allowed me to work hands-on with a diverse group of patients, teaching me how to effectively communicate with them and other staff. I got to see cases of all types, from broken backs to severe head trauma. Getting to talk to these patients gave me an insight on how debilitating their severe injuries were to everyday life, teaching me how to become more compassionate and empathetic with them. On one occasion, I had been assigned to a patient who had suffered severe brain damage after being involved in a motor vehicle accident. His mother visited frequently and was emotionally distressed, worried that her son would not make a full recovery. I did my best to comfort her so she would feel supported during this troubling time. After some time, her son recovered, and she extended her gratitude towards me and the care I offered to them. This time I was able to be the one providing comfort to someone in need. I have found that PAs have a greater focus on direct patient care, allowing them to build strong patient-provider relationships with everyone they treat. I want to be the provider that can spend more time with patients, comforting them like the healthcare provider did for me many years ago. This, along with a balance of collaboration and autonomy, make it clear that being a PA is what I want to do.
Exploring the medical field through shadowing allowed me to further understand the crucial role of a PA on a healthcare team. The PA worked independently for a majority of the shift while also getting to collaborate with the supervising physician. This allowed the PA to make a well-rounded diagnosis and take on a multidisciplinary approach. From shadowing both PAs and MDs, I have witnessed first-hand how well both practitioners work together to deliver the best patient care possible. The PA role, however, I believe better aligns with my interests. The PAs I observed treated their patients in a similar manner to the MD but had more time with the patient to educate them and address their concerns. This type of patient engagement is what drives me to want to become a PA. I also like that there is always someone available to collaborate with and ask questions if needed. From my shadowing I realized that the patient receives the greatest benefit when providers work together. I have always enjoyed being a team player, and as a PA I would be able to work with others to give patients the best treatment possible, leading to an improved experience and better outcomes.
My variety of experiences have helped me develop essential skills for the PA career. As a tutor, I have obtained leadership skills that allow me to effectively communicate with others and educate them on specific topics to help them excel in school. As a chair member in my school’s Helping Everyone Reach Optimal Health club, I am responsible for holding events and educating students about the importance of maintaining proper physical and mental health. From this I have learned how to further develop my leadership and communication skills, both of which are crucial in the PA role. Being a mentor for local underserved youth allowed me to positively impact the lives of others. I help them with everyday problems, from school to their home life. I also get to take them out for various activities, such as bowling or going to a movie. I hope to be able to continually make a positive impact on others. As a PA, I would be able to do that by treating and educating patients when they need it most. Many different volunteering opportunities, such as serving at food banks, my church, and The Banquet where we distribute warm meals to the homeless has helped expose me to people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, enriching my understanding of the world we live in. My mentoring and volunteering experiences have strengthened my desire to support vulnerable populations. PAs play a vital role in bridging the gap in healthcare, providing service to patients of all types. I want to be a PA because it would allow me to reduce those gaps and help underserved groups where healthcare is needed most.
From the 10-year-old boy that broke his arm up until now, I have had many different experiences that have honed my communication and teamwork skills, as well as the ability to work with patients of all backgrounds. After much due diligence, engaging in different jobs, volunteering opportunities, and shadowing different healthcare careers, it has been made clear being a PA would be the ultimate fulfillment for me. Getting to provide direct patient care and education, establish strong connections with a team, and work collaboratively with others is what I want to do, and becoming a PA would allow me to do all of that and much more. With the constantly changing medical field, PAs are life-long learners and I look forward to continually being able to further my education in healthcare. I believe this career would allow me to capitalize on all the strengths and skills I have developed to be an exemplary PA, now I just need you to give me the chance to prove it!
Whitney Prosperi says
Riley,
Your passion to connect with patients and collaborate with a team are evident throughout your essay. You do a good job of showing what about the PA profession speaks to you.
I suggest spotlighting any clinical skills and work experience you have gained along the way. You want to show how these roles have set you up to take the next step along your journey.
Should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck, Riley!
Jasmine says
Almost seven years ago and I still remember the day as if it happened yesterday. Every Friday night after work my mother would make her way to the grocery store whether it was to pick up a few things or go a full grocery shopping.One Friday night my mother made her regularly grocery trip, upon her arrival home she looked the same as you did any other day. It was not until she made it half way into the kitchen did she end up flat on her face. My brother ran to my unresponsive mother as I dialed nine one one all while running up the stairs to inform my father on what was going on. Shortly after she was rushed to the emergency department my family and I received a call from my father informing us that she was bleeding in her brain and was being rushed to Hartford Hospital to have surgery.I have never been more scared and confused in my life than I was in that moment. I had so much questions, Did the bleeding happen because of the fall? am I going to lose my mother? Will she be the same after having brain surgery? I soon learned that my mother had a ruptured brain aneurysm. For two weeks after her surgery my mother was in a coma and spent a total of two months in the hospital. My father would spend all day at the hospital then make his way home to pick my sibling and I up after school then drive another forty five minutes back to the hospital. Being in the hospital for many hours for two months watching day in and day out the many healthcare worked that came together as a team and helped nurture my mother back to life is what sparked my interest in the healthcare field.
After spending two months in the hospital, I knew that working in a collaborative environment to improve and provide adequate patient care was something I could see myself doing for years. Junior year my high school was offering a certified nurse assistant course for seniors only, so I registered for the course to get my foot into the healthcare field. It was not until my sophomore year of college after many meetings with my advisor and research of my own did I decided on physician assistant. As a physician assistant I am given the opportunity for growth outside of clinical practice. Being able to do what I enjoy while still having time for myself is what I know is best for me, allowing me to pour into myself so that I can be a better provider for my patients and a better worker for my team. Physician assist allows for independency when it comes to treating and caring for patients while still having the collaborative aspect to the job, the best of both world. Pa school also allows me to gain my education at a much lower cost.
Being a caregiver, certified nursing assistant, and a patient care tech has helped me become the type of provider I have always known I could become.. I have always been an introvert growing up but through years of experience I’ve learned how to communicate, adapt to many things going on all while being efficient, confident.. I enjoy building relationships with my patients, allowing them to be comfortable and know that they matter, their feelings matter, their concerns matter. Building relationships with my patients allows me to perform my job better because I listen to their needs, making sure that the right steps are taken to provide adequate care. Which brings me to an experience I will always remember. My second month being a patient care technician I was doing my rounds and noticed that my patient did not look too well. He looked very pale, sweaty, and only replied with sounds. I knew something was wrong, so I notified his nurse while staying at the bedside. I was quickly ordered to do an ekg which was my first one during an emergency with three other nurses in the room. Shortly after the ekg a code was called, with the help of respiratory, nurse supervisor, and the floor nurses they were able to get the situation under control. If I had just turned down the heat assuming that he was maybe just hot the situation could have ended differently but because I listened to my patient through his body language and my own judgment the situation was able to be handled before it got out of hands. Being a PCT has allowed me to work on my patience, in the hospital I come across many people, inmates, CIWA patients, impulsive patients, to name a few. Having patients of those sort has allowed me to not take anything personally from their behavior to the thing they say.
My freshman year I transferred to a four year university. It was all so new to me and the advisor that I was given was no help. I had a full class schedule all will driving home ever weekend to work at my cna job. It was all getting too much but I kept on pushing causing me to fail a class for the first time ever. The following semester, spring twenty nineteen, I was still going home every weekend to work as a cna and to top it off I lost my best friend, my grandma, the same week of finals but yet again I kept on pushing. I know that physician assistant school requires intelligence, resistance, and determination to be successful in the program. I have no doubt that with my dedication and experience that I will be successful within this program. I hope that the discrepancies of my grade point average does not stop me from pressuring my career as a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jasmine,
What an incredible story about your mother’s aneurysm and recovery.
I can sense your desire to impact and help patients throughout their healing journeys. I would elaborate on a few more elements that appeal to you about the PA profession and also eliminate the language about more time to focus on yourself.
Also, spotlight some of the clinical skills you have gained along the way.
If you have any shadowing experience, include a paragraph about that as well. If there was an interaction between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that solidified your decision, describe that.
You are wise to include discussion about your grades, however, I would briefly address that without including the comment about your advisor not helping you. Then write a separate conclusion reiterating your desire to collaborate with a healthcare team to care for patients.
I wish you good luck in the process, Jasmine.
Remember that should you want more help, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Shelby says
Hello! I’ve been working on this essay for a bit and have gotten stuck so I would really appreciate some feedback. Thank you!
It happened so fast. Before I could process what was happening, my frail grandpa was lying on the solid concrete. One day, as I played outside, my grandpa shuffled up and down the driveway to complete his daily walk. Suddenly, he tripped and fell to the ground, and I ran to him but felt helpless. When I was 9 years old, my grandpa received a diagnosis of lymphoma that later metastasized. As a result, he and my grandma moved into our home, so I took part in his intensive care and appointments. Through this, I gained insight into the medical field and saw the progression of stage IV cancer. These moments sparked my desire to pursue a medical career to help people like my grandpa.
Although my family inspired me to work in healthcare, my devotion to helping others achieve wellness propels me. As a child, my family enjoyed a Christmas tradition every year. We volunteered at a toy drive and served breakfast to homeless families. Connecting with the community and seeing the children’s smiles fostered my advocacy for marginalized groups.
In high school, I joined a health academy to study anatomy, medical terminology, and different healthcare pathways. At the time, I wanted to become a pediatrician, so I pursued a pre-med degree and worked at a childcare center. Since I moved away from home for college, I had difficulty adjusting to being without my family. In response, I overcommitted myself to multiple jobs, volunteering, and leadership positions. By spreading myself quite thin and not managing my time well, there was a corresponding dip in my grades. Upon focusing on my mental health and effective study methods, I improved my grades and continued my other commitments. These recent grades show the type of student I am and my commitment to pursuing the PA profession.
After a lull due to the pandemic, I volunteered at a blood donation site and physical therapy clinic for cancer patients. In the PT clinic, I observed and assisted therapists during treatments. Through this, I gained experience caring for diverse populations and people with cancer.
I first learned about a PA when visiting my primary care office for an illness. The PA evaluated my symptoms, diagnosed me, and prescribed medication there. Immediately intrigued by this newly discovered position, I began researching. After learning about a PA’s flexibility and focus on patient care, I decided that the role was perfect for me.
Working as an MA in an HIV/Infectious Disease clinic further reinforced my desire to become a PA. Currently, I work with a plethora of diverse patients, many of whom are homeless, non-English speakers, or LGBTQ+. Throughout the day, I coordinate patient care among doctors, social workers, pharmacists, nurses, PAs, and researchers. Once a week, I assist an oncology surgeon with anoscopy and ablation procedures. Also, I have experience with pharmaceuticals, diagnostic and point-of-care tests, and phlebotomy. As I work understaffed in several public health emergencies, interacting with patients revives my desire to become a PA.
While giving a COVID booster to an elderly patient Kent, he expressed that he had lost his partner to COVID. He broke into tears, so I sat there consoling him and listening to him speak about his husband’s final days. Afterward, I helped him collect his HIV labs and fix his back brace. Before he left, he thanked me for taking the time to be there for him and letting him grieve. Connecting with Kent and providing a sense of comfort for him was fulfilling.
Shadowing infectious disease, orthopedic trauma, polytrauma, and medical ICU settings gave me insight into the lateral mobility of the PA profession. On my first day observing a PA named Alison, we examined a prisoner with an amputation due to a preventable infection. Handcuffed to his hips and surrounded by three officers, he expressed frustration over his previous care. While assessing his wounds, Alison listened and validated his concerns. Alison exemplified everything that draws me to being a PA: working with doctors, interpreting lab results, assessing injuries, prescribing antibiotics, and connecting with the patient. That moment further motivated me to become a PA to help patients like him who deserve equal treatment regardless of their situation.
Through my experiences growing up and working in healthcare, I remember why I’m striving to be a PA. Since that fateful day with my grandpa and my exposure to medicine through him, I’m driven to become a PA and positively impact healthcare. My passion is to help people and advocate for those unable to speak up for themselves. With a broader scope of practice, I will pursue my passions more significantly and use my lateral mobility to ease labor shortages.
Whitney Prosperi says
Shelby,
You do a good job of showing your commitment to expanding care to underserved populations. Also, your shadowing paragraph is effective at explaining what draws you to the PA profession. I think you are wise to address your grades, but you may want to move this to the paragraph before your conclusion. Should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck, Shelby!
Destiny Lewis says
Personal Statement
Why do I want to be a physician assistant? I would love to say that it was expected of me and that both of my parents are in the healthcare field. But that is not my story. I am from a rural town in South Carolina and both of my parents have a high school education. I have had the desire to care for people since I was five years old. I had the desire to help those who couldn’t help themselves. That desire took form as I went through school. My goal as a teenager was to be Army medic and eventually an Army nurse. Although my military career did not lead me there, it did however lead me here. As the years passed, the path changed but the goal did not. Living in the South, I lived through the 2015 100yr flood. I was able to help those in need, with the military and it served as a reminder of my goals and aspirations. Over the pass few years, I have been blessed to have the opportunity to work with many talented healthcare providers, including a number of physician assistants. I yearn to be able to give back and help those in my community. Although there are a number of ways to give back and help those that need it. But my path, although not perfect and straight, has helped to mold and equip me, for my future. Having gone through failures and difficult times, makes this goal so much more valuable and precious. So in short, my “why” is simple. I want to help others. I want to be able to be able to make an impact in their lives. I want to be able help make the concern and issue of access to quality care, a distant memory.
Whitney Prosperi says
Destiny,
First of all, thank you for your service.
I admire your desire to serve your community. I would suggest adding in more details as to what exactly appeals to you about the PA profession. Is it the ability to switch specialties? More time/contact with patients? The opportunity to expand access to care?
I would also elaborate on what you have witnessed in working with PAs that solidified your decision to pursue this path.
Also, you will want to include any work experience or clinical skills you have gained.
Should you need more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck, Destiny.