Married With Children in PA School - How This Mom Makes it Work

The Life of a PA School Mother

My name is Anna, and I am a mother of two boys, two and six years old.

I am also a PA student.

For me, it was a long and arduous journey to get into PA school. I applied three consecutive years before finally getting accepted to a PA school in San Antonio, which is about a 3-hour drive from where I live.

Although I was excited to be finally accepted, it was a difficult decision for my family and me because it meant I had to move out to San Antonio while my family stayed behind.

I knew it would be hard, but I could not lose this opportunity. I was one of the 45 students accepted out of 1,800 applicants, and I needed to figure out how to make it work.

I Couldn't do it Alone

My husband and my mom are very supportive, and I would not be able to do it without them.

My mom decided to move in with us and help us to take care of the kids. The most challenging part for me at the beginning was to help my mom and my husband to get along. They are both great, but it is hard for them to work well together because they both have unyielding personalities. However, it seems to be getting better so I can’t complain now.

I go home to see my children on the weekends and try to communicate on Skype almost every day. It has been six months since I started PA school and it has gone by really fast because I am so busy.

My 6-year-old was getting into trouble in school, and a couple of times I had to drive back and forth from San Antonio to be able to attend his class and the meetings with his teachers.

I used to overreact to his “bad behavior,” but it only made things worse. I don't like to feel like I have no control in raising my children, so sometimes I get too emotional. I appreciate it when my husband or my mom do exactly what I ask them to do regarding the kids because it makes me feel like I can contribute to their life the way I think is the best for them.

I know it sounds silly and not very reasonable, but I want to feel like I am still a big part of making decisions for my kids.

Finding Time to Study

I need my weekends to study so when I come home to see my family I try to spend one full day and night with them and then go back to studying.

I do miss my family and some weekends I cannot come to see them, especially when we have finals or too many tests at once. On these occasions, we found a bus that my mom can take and bring the kids with her. I love it when this happens because I get to see them and will not waste 6 hours driving back and forth when I can spend this time studying.

The PA program in San Antonio is far more advanced than I expected. I have never studied so hard in my life even though I have two degrees. We already had some people that had to leave the program because they did not make it through the first semester. I know I have to be diligent and manage my schedule the best I can.

I don't think I have a typical situation since I do not live with my family at the moment but I am sure there are people who are in my shoes or will be.

PA schools are very competitive, and it is becoming harder and harder to get in. Unfortunately, you will not always be accepted at the PA school of your choice (or maybe fortunately because I love my school now).

I think the benefit of my situation is that I can study at home anytime and not feel anxious to go home and see my kids every day since they are not here.

I do miss them and love them very much but I keep reminding myself of my goals and sacrifices. I explain to my 6-year-old son that I study now so I can help people to be healthier and so we can afford to travel.

He is excited about this and sometimes says he wants to go to my school instead of his.

Advice to PA School Parents

If I were to give advice to future PA school students with children, I would say stay focused on your main goal and know why you are doing this.

I do have my moments when I cry and get emotional but I talk to my kids, my husband, and my mom and they make me feel better. I remind myself that time goes by fast and I am pursuing my dream that will not only benefit me but my family and many other families in the future.

I would encourage you to connect with people in your class and make good friends. It has helped me to stay positive through difficult times. You have to develop an inner strength that will carry you through any personal problems and still allow you to focus on studying. Otherwise, it will not be possible to make it.

We have a great tradition in our school. The class that was before us assigned each one of the new students a “Big person.” They just matched one person with another one according to some similarities. My “Big” has two children, and they live with her. She was helpful and supportive throughout my first semester. She made me feel more "normal” on several occasions when I did not know what to do.

She gave me advice on how to cope with problems and how to best address my needs along with those of my family throughout PA school.

I have two more years to go, and I know they will go fast. I am enjoying my journey, but I can’t wait to go back to my family and be there with them and for them.

All I can say is to get your support system together, make sure you have reliable people who can help you throughout the whole program and you can make it through.

Best of luck pursuing your dreams!

This is a guest post by current PA student extraordinaire Anna

Anna has been a licensed acupuncturist for nine years. When a PA saved her son’s life, it triggered her to choose a path of becoming a PA. She is pursuing her dreams to become a PA and to be able to educate people on prevention and treatment of illnesses and diseases. She has two sons and a supportive family that inspire her to be a better person and to stay strong and positive.

Also, in case you were curious, I asked Anna about her mom, her husband's feelings about her moving to San Antonio to attend PA school and why they chose to live separately during her time as a student. Here is her answer:

I am originally from Ukraine and then lived in Houston since 2006. My mom was living in Ukraine and had to make a big move for me. I admire my mom. I do not think I could have been where I am today without her love and support. My husband's job keeps him in Houston so moving for him was out of the question.

My husband was supportive but very sad about me moving away. However, since it is only a 3-hour drive, it does not seem too bad. I think the worst part for him is dealing with my mom and trying to have his life arranged completely differently. But he has been with me throughout the whole process and is still there for me. We try to make date nights whenever we can and communicate over the phone every day. He sends me pictures of the kids and comes here whenever he can.

*If you or anyone you know is interested in submitting a guest post to the blog just drop me a line at [email protected] - if your article is accepted you will receive a $50 Amazon gift card or a free 1-year subscription to the PANCE and PANRE Academy (your choice). Stay tuned our next PA parenting article will be from a father of two!

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Comments

Y says

December 28, 2019 at 6:50 pm

This is was a great read and right on time. I am considering a career change to PA. I am in my late 30s with a family and moving is not an option. I appreciate her sharing her story and talking about the way her family made it work. Good luck, hopefully we’ll get an update when she is a PA-C!

Kavita Jaiswal says

December 30, 2017 at 10:58 pm

Hi Nikki,
I liked your article very much. Well organized and nicely written! I am in the same boat as you are, I am from Houston, mother of a 5 year old boy and accepted to PA school in San Antonio and will be starting in June 2018. My mother or mother in law probably join my husband and son.I would love to get some advice and meet up if you are in Houston. I would request you if you can send me an email on [email protected]

Thank you!

- Olga says
  
  December 28, 2019 at 8:32 pm
  
  HI Nikki, I emailed you. Finally started getting a notification on these messages.
  
Ksusha says

December 20, 2016 at 7:45 am

Olga,
it is very inspiring to read your post. I m of Ukrainian origin as well and got accepted to a PA school starting August 2017. My mom will move in with me for the first trimester to help with a 1 year old. I m so scarred and nervous. I really tried hard to get accepted to a PA program and don’t want to give up. Does it get easier second trimester , second year of the program?

Duke Pasquini says

February 9, 2016 at 12:19 pm

Olga, you are a doer and a very highly motivated person. I agree that having your family behind you is important. It was great to see you get into PA school after not making it the first few times.

Duke

- Nikki says
  
  February 21, 2016 at 11:47 am
  
  Thank you so much Duke for your help and input. I really appreciate it. You guys are so inspiring!!! Keep it going. You are helping many people to achieve their goals and reach their dreams.
  
  - Nikki says
    
    March 8, 2016 at 2:53 pm
    
    I hope you found an acupuncturist in your area that could help you.
    Best regards,
    
    - Duke Pasquini says
      
      March 9, 2016 at 10:48 am
      
      Nikki
      
      Thanks for taking the time to write a note. Everyone loves to get a complement. You, like so many of our clients, make me feel like I am making a difference. It’s the teacher in me.
      
Christy says

February 1, 2016 at 6:08 pm

What is the typical day at school like? Are classes typically 9-5 and you study at night and weekends a lot? I have 3 children and hope to get into PA school in a couple of years. Just wondering if I would be home to tuck them in bed if I got into somewhere close to home.

- Nikki Clark, PA-S says
  
  February 3, 2016 at 12:22 pm
  
  Christy, there is no such thing as a typical day here because some days are full and some are not. You should think of this as at least 9 to 5 day and with homework 9 to 9. You would have to make sure you plan for this time but of course you can always find days when you can spend more or less time with them. I am sure you can spend some time with them if you plan your time efficiently. Some days we only have a half of the day or less.But it does not happen very often.
  
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
  
  February 11, 2016 at 7:48 am
  
  Hi Christy,
  
  I went to school with several parents who came home, had dinner with their family, helped put the kids to bed then hit the books. It is possible, having a supportive partner to help will make a big difference as well and it depends on the ages of your kids. If they are in school all day it will be a bit easier, having an infant at home (as you know) is a different situation entirely. On weekends it can be hard to balance athletics, kids’ b-day parties and activities, and all the other parental responsibilities. Once again, if you have strong family/friend support this will go a long way! So, it depends entirely on your situation. I am not sure I could be away from my family for 2 years, but as Nikki shows, you simply do what you have to do. Her husband had to stay local for his job, so they made the necessary sacrifice. My wife is a nurse so she was able to come to NJ and find work easily while I attended PA school. Anything is possible, you just have to decide how important it is to you and then work from there.
  
  – Stephen
  
Carolina Calvo says

February 1, 2016 at 4:42 pm

Nikki, I love your article. You are a true inspiration and I know in my heart you will be done before you know it. Thank you for being an amazing friend even with your busy schedule. You are a great mother, daughter, and wife!

- Nikki Clark, PA-S says
  
  February 3, 2016 at 12:23 pm
  
  Thank you Carolina! I really appreciate it:)
  
- Olga says
  
  December 28, 2019 at 8:38 pm
  
  HI Carolina . Finally started getting a notification on these messages.
  Love you friend!!! You did awesome as well. Proud of both of us!
  
Perla says

February 1, 2016 at 9:33 am

I am about to start PA school and will be moving with my son and my mom, leaving my husband behind. I got teary reading this post. Keep it up! I hear you and understand how difficult it must be but it is worth it. Good luck!

- Nikki, Clark PA-S says
  
  February 1, 2016 at 1:24 pm
  
  Thank you. You will do great. You will have your support system with you and that will help you to remember your main goal.
  
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
  
  February 11, 2016 at 2:42 pm
  
  Good luck Perla, the sacrifice will be worth it and in the scheme of things is only a short period of time (although it may not seem like it while you are in it). Make sure to keep the communication open between you and your husband and make time for fun together both as a couple and as a family. I know it is a tough balance but it is very easy to get trapped in the focus and perseverance of a profession. In the end this all matters very little when it comes to friends, family and the ones we love and the ones who depend on us.
  
  Best to you and your family and congrats on your acceptance to PA school!
  
  – Stephen