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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (19th October 2026): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing scientific research and technical reports to scriptwriting for television. Her writing has appeared in academic, professional, and popular publications. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She enjoys the unique opportunity that The PA Life offers to combine her training as a writer and editor with her experience teaching in order to support PAs and aspiring PAs in achieving their professional goals.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.

Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers, having worked over ten years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here in the comments section of this blog post.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
We perform both revision and editing on all submissions.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
– Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
- Elevate Your Personal Statement: Using Bloom’s Taxonomy for Impactful Writing
- How to Write a Captivating Hook for Your PA School Personal Statement
- 3 Surprising Truths About the New CASPA Life Experiences Essay (And Why You Can’t Ignore It)
- 3 PA School Personal Statement Mistakes Our Editor Sees Again and Again
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When the teacher explained the group activity for the day, my mind played through all the worst-case scenarios if I volunteered. What if I made the wrong cut and ruined the dissection for the entire class? Even though I was anxious, I volunteered, and my teacher asked me to come to the front of the room. I stared down at the cow eye as my hands shook while I picked up the blade. As my teacher guided me through each step of the dissection, my confidence increased with each incision. I have always been shy and reserved in class, so volunteering in front of my classmates was a turning point. Through this experience, I learned that my curiosity outweighed my fear. While I was intimidated by the challenge, my excitement at learning a new skill led me outside my comfort zone. What started as a decision to challenge myself led me to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant to develop clinical skills to care for patients.
During my time shadowing at an oncology and hematology practice, what stood out to me was the collaborative dynamic between the physician assistants and physicians. When the PA had a question about the medication dosage, she discussed it with the physician to ensure the correct dosage. Their collaboration illustrated how they worked together to ensure that patients received the appropriate care. When a patient called the office, confused about their treatment plan, they were scheduled with the physician assistant the next day. The PA explained that the medication needed to be approved by insurance and assured the patient that this wouldn’t affect their treatment plan. This interaction helped me understand how PAs can improve patients’ access to care by promptly addressing their concerns. When I began volunteering at the hospital, I applied what I had observed while shadowing by creating an environment where patients felt comfortable asking questions.
At Hunterdon Medical Center, I was the only volunteer assigned to a floor with thirty patient rooms. My shift was a never-ending rhythm of fresh linens, call lights, monitors beeping, and helping patients in and out of bed. This made it easy to get into a rhythm and complete tasks as quickly as possible, since there was always someone waiting. One afternoon, a patient asked for help walking to the bathroom. As I guided her towards the bathroom, we discussed our interest in gardening. As she expressed her passion for gardening, her tense expression softened. After we talked for a few minutes, she thanked me for taking the time to talk to her. She expressed how lonely she feels in the hospital and how this improved her mood. When I walked out of the hospital that day, I realized that taking care of someone goes beyond their physical needs, and it is important to meet their emotional needs as well. From that moment, I became more deliberate about slowing down and connecting with patients outside of their primary needs. I realized how much I enjoyed interacting with patients, which inspired me to pursue a medical assistant program to take on greater responsibilities in patient care.
As a part of my medical assistant program, I completed an internship at a pediatric office. I shadowed multiple medical assistants and watched them handle difficult conversations with patients and their support systems. I was able to take what I have learned from them and apply it to my own patient interactions. One patient was due for their two-month vaccinations at their appointment. I watched the parents’ expressions change from attentive to uneasy, leading me to ask if they had any concerns. I was able to guide the conversation toward discussing each vaccine and the total number of injections the patient would receive. I also provided the parents with the vaccine information sheets so they would be better informed and could ask any questions. After our discussion and a conversation with the physician, the parents felt comfortable agreeing to have their child vaccinated. This interaction allowed me to communicate clearly with the patient’s parents by addressing each concern, which helped them feel at ease with their care. This taught me the importance of addressing the concerns of the patient’s support system as well.
Through increasingly difficult experiences, I have matured from someone shy, reserved, and uncertain into someone very confident in their clinical, interpersonal, and communication skills. The opportunities I have had in healthcare have allowed me to deepen my knowledge, build meaningful relationships, and handle difficult conversations with confidence. These experiences have taught me to welcome new challenges as a way to continue growing and identify my strengths. As I reflect on my own growth, I am eager to take on the new challenges of PA school as I continue developing professionally and personally toward becoming a physician assistant.
Hi Shalini,
The two-month vaccine visit is your best moment. You saw the parents go from attentive to uneasy, asked what was worrying them, walked them through each shot, and gave them the vaccine information sheets. That paragraph shows the communication skills you claim at the end better than the claim does.
Here’s what I’d work on, in order.
Open with a patient, not the cow eye. The dissection is a nice story about getting past shyness, but the jump from a classroom to “pursue a career as a Physician Assistant” is too big. The vaccine visit or your gardening patient at Hunterdon would hook a reader faster.
Your shadowing paragraph describes what the PA did more than what it meant to you. Why PA and not nursing or medicine? This is the spot to say it.
Cut the last paragraph down hard. “Someone very confident in their clinical, interpersonal, and communication skills” is you grading yourself. Let the stories do that, and end on a patient instead of a recap.
A few small fixes: “how lonely she feels” should be “felt,” and “what I have learned from them” should be “had learned.” You also switch between “Physician Assistant” and “physician assistant,” so pick lowercase and stick with it.
You’re at about 4,900 characters, so trimming that last paragraph also buys you room.
Stephen
When the teacher explained the group activity for the day, my mind played through all the worst-case scenarios if I volunteered. What if I made the wrong cut and ruined the dissection for the entire class? Even though I was anxious, I volunteered, and my teacher asked me to come to the front of the room. I stared down at the cow eye as my hands shook while I picked up the blade. As my teacher guided me through each step of the dissection, my confidence increased with each incision. I have always been shy and reserved in class, so volunteering in front of my classmates was a turning point. Through this experience, I learned that my curiosity outweighed my fear. While I was intimidated by the challenge, my excitement at learning a new skill led me outside my comfort zone. What started as a decision to challenge myself led me to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant to develop clinical skills to care for patients.
During my time shadowing at an oncology and hematology practice, what stood out to me was the collaborative dynamic between the physician assistants and physicians. When the PA had a question about the medication dosage, she discussed it with the physician to ensure the correct dosage. Their collaboration illustrated how they worked together to ensure that patients received the appropriate care. When a patient called the office, confused about their treatment plan, they were scheduled with the physician assistant the next day. The PA explained that the medication needed to be approved by insurance and assured the patient that this wouldn’t affect their treatment plan. This interaction helped me understand how PAs can improve patients’ access to care by promptly addressing their concerns. When I began volunteering at the hospital, I applied what I had observed while shadowing by creating an environment where patients felt comfortable asking questions.
At Hunterdon Medical Center, I was the only volunteer assigned to a floor with thirty patient rooms. My shift was a never-ending rhythm of fresh linens, call lights, monitors beeping, and helping patients in and out of bed. This made it easy to get into a rhythm and complete tasks as quickly as possible, since there was always someone waiting. One afternoon, a patient asked for help walking to the bathroom. As I guided her towards the bathroom, we discussed our interest in gardening. As she expressed her passion for gardening, her tense expression softened. After we talked for a few minutes, she thanked me for taking the time to talk to her. She expressed how lonely she feels in the hospital and how this improved her mood. When I walked out of the hospital that day, I realized that taking care of someone goes beyond their physical needs, and it is important to meet their emotional needs as well. From that moment, I became more deliberate about slowing down and connecting with patients outside of their primary needs. I realized how much I enjoyed interacting with patients, which inspired me to pursue a medical assistant program to take on greater responsibilities in patient care.
As a part of my medical assistant program, I completed an internship at a pediatric office. I shadowed multiple medical assistants and watched them handle difficult conversations with patients and their support systems. I was able to take what I have learned from them and apply it to my own patient interactions. One patient was due for their two-month vaccinations at their appointment. I watched the parents’ expressions change from attentive to uneasy, leading me to ask if they had any concerns. I was able to guide the conversation toward discussing each vaccine and the total number of injections the patient would receive. I also provided the parents with the vaccine information sheets so they would be better informed and could ask any questions. After our discussion and a conversation with the physician, the parents felt comfortable agreeing to have their child vaccinated. This interaction allowed me to communicate clearly with the patient’s parents by addressing each concern, which helped them feel at ease with their care. This taught me the importance of addressing the concerns of the patient’s support system as well.
Through increasingly difficult experiences, I have matured from someone shy, reserved, and uncertain into someone very confident in their clinical, interpersonal, and communication skills. The opportunities I have had in healthcare have allowed me to deepen my knowledge, build meaningful relationships, and handle difficult conversations with confidence. These experiences have taught me to welcome new challenges as a way to continue growing and identify my strengths. As I reflect on my own growth, I am eager to take on the new challenges of PA school as I continue developing professionally and personally toward becoming a physician assistant.
Hi Shalini,
I replied to the other copy of this essay you posted on October 18, so you’ll find my notes there.
Stephen
One rarely expects a gynecological appointment to change how they understand patient care. And yet – as my OBGYN physician assistant Laura explained exactly what to expect and my right to decline at any point – I felt that my expectations for patient-provider communication had been irreversibly raised. Laura made me feel comfortable and confident at a time that was decidedly uncomfortable and vulnerable. In my paper gown, sitting at the very end of a cold exam table, I thought, “I want to be able to do what she does.” While Laura may have been my introduction to the physician assistant field, her influence was not the last. Through experiences with both providers and patients alike, I developed a desire to diagnose, create treatment plans, and have the flexibility to pursue different fields of interest throughout my career.
In my work at Roswell Park Comprehensive Cancer Center, an unfortunate but unavoidable occurrence is caring for patients and interacting with family members during the worst time in their lives. This has required me to carry out my responsibilities effectively toward people in pain and in distress. Patients may receive unexpected news about their prognosis or may be navigating difficult decisions about their course of care. In these situations, I am continuing to develop an ability to respond effectively to patients’ needs in the way that Laura responded to mine. A time in which I felt proud of the quality of patient care that I provided was when assisting a patient experiencing anxiety during the last hours of their life. During this experience, I notified the assigned nurse and attempted to comfort the patient until the appropriate medication was administered. The patient was experiencing anxiety in conjunction with declining oxygen levels, in a cycle of increasing breathlessness and distress. In an effort to distract the patient, I commented on their well-maintained silver nails, pointing out that silver really goes with any color, including the blue hospital gowns (which are notoriously difficult to make fashionable). In this way, we discussed the ins and outs of nail care until the patient became comfortable again and we parted ways. When I think of this woman now, I wonder: what more could I have done for this patient had I been her provider?
Shadowing in the Cardiac ICU helped me to understand the role that the patient-provider relationship plays in providing quality care. A non-English speaker had refused a pacemaker procedure and requested to leave against medical advice. Trailing a provider on the way to the patient’s room, I puzzled over the patient’s refusal of a relatively standard, low-risk procedure and, importantly, what the provider intended to do about it. The patient insisted on leaving the hospital so that he could speak with his family members before deciding on the surgery. Between the communication barrier and a lack of patient-provider rapport, the provider was not able to dissuade the patient from his decision, despite the inherent risk. Ultimately, the patient refused the pacemaker procedure and left against medical advice with a bradycardic heart rate of 40 bpm. In that moment, I saw a colossal divide between the provider’s intended message and the patient’s reception. Watching their interaction, I wanted to use the interpersonal skills I learned through my patient care experience to build the patient’s trust, but I also needed the medical experience to earn it. I wondered: what could I have done differently had I been his provider?
I feel that a physician assistant degree will help me to answer these questions. My undergraduate education, particularly through my chemistry coursework, has helped prepare me to handle rigorous, fast-paced learning environments. In my first-year general chemistry courses, I struggled to make connections between new material and prior knowledge, which was reflected in my grades. Recognizing a need to change my approach, I began to focus my studying on applying and relating concepts. By organic chemistry and, later, biological chemistry, I had made significant progress both academically and in understanding how I best learn difficult material. In all, these courses taught me to approach challenges with a willingness to adapt and grow.
In all, a physician assistant education would provide me with the medical knowledge to complement the interpersonal skills I have developed during my clinical experience. I believe that this degree will allow me to find a fulfilling career in medicine, providing high-quality care through genuine human connection.
Hi Grace,
Thanks for posting your essay. The paper gown on the cold exam table and the conversation about silver nail polish are two of the best moments I’ve read in a while. Build the whole essay around them.
Start in the room. “One rarely expects a gynecological appointment to change how they understand patient care” is a lot of warm-up before the good part. Try opening with “In my paper gown, sitting at the very end of a cold exam table…” and let Laura explaining your right to decline do the work. Later in that paragraph, the line about wanting to “diagnose, create treatment plans, and have the flexibility to pursue different fields” is the one spot that sounds like everyone else’s essay. Tie it to something you saw, or cut it.
At Roswell Park, tell us what your job is. Are you a patient care tech, a volunteer, something else? The reader needs that before the story lands. I’d also rework “an unfortunate but unavoidable occurrence is caring for patients.” Caring for patients is the job you want. What you mean is being with people on the worst days of their lives. The silver nails story itself I would barely touch. “Notoriously difficult to make fashionable” made me smile.
In the CICU story, was the provider you shadowed a PA? If so, say so. Right now Laura is the only PA in your essay. Keep the focus on the gap you noticed between what the provider meant and what the patient heard, so it doesn’t read like you’re criticizing the provider.
You end two paragraphs asking what you could have done “had I been” the provider. I like that as a refrain, but the ending has to answer it. Right now the last paragraph turns to finding “a fulfilling career in medicine,” which is about you, not your patients. Go back to Laura or the woman with the silver nails and tell us what kind of PA you’ll be for the next patient sitting in that gown.
The chemistry paragraph is fine, but it can be two or three sentences. Spend the space you save on the CICU reflection or on why PA.
A couple of small things: you start two sentences in a row with “In all,” and most of the “I feel that” and “I believe that” phrases can go. Run the final version through a character counter to make sure you’re under CASPA’s 5,000 characters with spaces.
This is a strong draft. The stories are already there. It mostly needs trimming and a better ending.
If you want more help, my book How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement walks through all of this, and our editors can work with you one on one.
Keep up the great work, Grace!
Best,
Stephen