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You are here: Home / Physician Assistant Stories / Dealing with Loss / Physician Assistants: In Whom We Place Our Trust

Physician Assistants: In Whom We Place Our Trust

July 15, 2021 By Stephen Pasquini PA-C Leave a Comment

Physician Assistants In Whom We Place Our Trust

As PAs, we are trusted with the care of sick patients and their families. Things don’t always go as planned. Here’s my story of loss and how I was able to get back up when I let my patient (and their family) down.

I take care of a 6-year-old name Sarah.

She has the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. Although it's not so hard to find a 6-year-old with a beautiful smile, this one is unique.

You see, I took care of her father Robert one year ago. He was under my care when we discovered his cancer.

Unfortunately, we found it too late. He passed away at thirty-five.

From the time I saw him in the clinic until he died in a hospital bed attached to an IV drip of morphine sulfate, it was exactly 29 days.

I didn't find out that he had died until seven days after his funeral. I felt stone cold.

When she brought her daughter for a follow-up visit, his wife informed me of Robert's passing. Then she broke down into tears.

I felt an intense pain of guilt. I held Robert's daughter for the first time during her two-month physical. Here, six years later, at this moment, I went numb.

Generations

I thought that would be the last time I would see this family. I felt responsible for Robert’s death. Had we only discovered his cancer sooner, had we been on the lookout, had we heeded the early warning signs, anything... Anything at all to avoid this portrait of his family. This was an extremely tough time for me in my career.

Two days later, I saw Robert's mother in our clinic. Like a scene from a movie, she looked deep into my eyes, and we held hands. She cried, and I listened.

I felt guilty for her son's death; I couldn't tell her this.

She came back four more times to see me seeking treatment while she was away from her hometown in Colorado. She entrusted me during this time with her care. I felt incapable, I doubted my ability, and I recommended she see our Internist.

She ignored my plea and visited me three more times. Each time she would tell me stories about her son. I grew to love Robert even more.

She left, returning to Colorado 6 months later. I have yet to see her since.

Today, Roberts's six-year-old daughter Sarah ran through the clinic doors and gave me the biggest hug imaginable. It is as if Robert were reaching out from the dead. In his daughter's embrace, my wounds began to heal. There is some resolution, some peace.

Today, she has a slight rash on her shoulder; it just needs some antifungal cream. Her mom tells me that Sarah will make up any excuse she can to visit me here in the clinic. I am overwhelmed with emotion, the guy who let her father die. I have no right to steal these hugs.

There is a brother. He is eight and an aunt. She is the mother of two and part of Robert's extended family. I see them all now, everyone. They treat me like family,

Deep down, I am still afraid. I am worried that I will fail them again. Fail them like I failed Robert. Like a guard asked to keep watch over the base, I fell asleep on his job.

Yet, in me, they place their trust.

This is the PA life.

Thanks for reading!

Stephen Pasquini PA-C

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About Stephen Pasquini PA-C

Stephen has been a family practice PA since 2004 and is the creator of The PA Life and Smarty PANCE Board Review websites. A National Health Service Corps Scholar and a graduate of The University of Medicine and Dentistry of NJ (Rutgers) PA Program and the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. Stephen's goal is to provide one-of-a-kind online resources for those interested in or practicing in the PA profession, to promote better access to healthcare for all, and foster universal recognition/awareness of the PA profession. Read more about Stephen.

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I finally have amazing news. So first of all, in total, I was offered 13 interviews. I was just offered a seat at Nova Orlando! I am finally going to be a PA and a big part of that was from all of your help with my personal statement. So thank you very much for helping me succeed during this round.

Jennifer, PA-S

Carly did more than help revise my grammatical errors and flow. She was able to show me the strengths and weaknesses of the concepts of my essay. She was able to tell me what it was missing as well as praise me for what I did correctly. It gave me confidence in my writing, and I truly believe it will make an impact on the way PA programs view me.

Sherry, Pre-PA

I had an excellent experience with this service. Deanna was thorough, attentive to my essay, and very easy to contact. She did a great job and I would highly recommend this service to anyone.

Grant, Pre-PA

I used the personal statement editing service through The PA Life, and I worked with Sarah. She was AMAZING and made such a difference in both the quality of my personal statement and in my confidence as an applicant. That said, I’m so grateful to say I’ve been accepted into two out of the three programs I applied to and have an interview with the third on Friday of this week. I couldn’t be more excited!

Nikki, PA-S

I am pleased to tell you that I have been accepted to PA school, starting in 2-weeks.? I appreciate everything you have done for me, from helping with my personal statement to preparing me for interviews. You have been with me since the beginning of the application process and I really wanted to thank you.

Shane, Pre-PA

I received an acceptance call from USC! I’m going to be a PA! ??‍⚕️ I’m so overfilled with joy and gratitude!! All of my experiences led to this, and I can’t help but feel immense gratitude for every single person that was part of this journey. You were a huge component of this journey, and I am so appreciative of all of your help. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Cintia Chávez, PA-S

I’m emailing you to let you know that I received an acceptance call yesterday! It’s my first cycle applying so I’m still in shock. This may sound weird to say, but you have been a part of my journey since the beginning when I was trying to figure out how to write my personal statement, to practicing for the interview that led to my acceptance. I genuinely believe that I would not have been accepted into the program if it weren’t for you.

Anthony, PA-S

Wanted to let you know how this application season was going for me so far.

I’ve had two interviews, still have at least three more scheduled, and I received my first acceptance last week.

Thank you again for your help!

M.S, Pre-PA

Loved this service and working with Sarah. She was super helpful and easy to talk with. Will definitely recommend this service to others.

Diana, Pre-PA

Duke helped me with my personal essay writing for PA school. He was very patient and helpful with me. I made lots of mistake on my Essay, but with Duke’s help I was able to write a sensible essay which was good enough to get Interview calls. I highly recommend his service.

Rajni M, Pre PA

Your service was able to help me figure out exactly what I needed to include, what did not belong and helped me display my experiences the best way possible to form a great essay. Carly was able to help me create my best essay by just editing the order and grammar without changing much of any of my written work. I am very happy with how my essay turned out. Definitely worth the money, thank you for all your help!

Nicolas, Pre-PA

I really appreciated Duke and his way of cutting out the unnecessary fluff in my essay. He was extremely helpful and helped steer me in the right direction to better my writing and make me a more competitive applicant. I am currently still applying to programs and will notify you guys once I get an invitation!

Ani S. Pre-PA

I was at a point where I kept reading my essay over and over again and not knowing what to change. After Sue looked over and thoroughly edited the essay, I had a completely new focus! I knew exactly what to tweak and her service really cleared up any uncertainty I had with my essay. I’m now much more confident as I finish up my CASPA applications!

Julia Spalding, Pre-PA

Susan did a fantastic job editing my essay! She guided me and gave me suggestions for strengthening certain sections and equally took out weak parts. After I followed her recommendations, I really felt like I had an essay where every sentence mattered and reflected who I was. Thank you so much Susan for your help. I feel that I have a stronger essay because of your honest feedback and your help!

Amanda Pre-PA

This was just what my essay needed. I am confident that I have answered all the questions without sounding too “braggy”.

Kelsey, Pre-PA

This service was invaluable – I felt decent about my essay, but it’s remarkably better. I appreciate the level of detail and courtesy even with my discounted rate. You guys are too great!

Taylor Hamstra, Pre-PA

Thank you once again for your help in reviewing and editing my personal statement for PA school. Yesterday morning, I had the pleasure of accepting a position in the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston Physician Assistant Program. The class begins in July 2022, and I am excited to begin this next chapter of entering the PA profession. I have no doubt that your invaluable assistance helped me produce a personal statement that promoted my application and paved the way for my successful interview, and I am sincerely grateful.

Angela, PA-S

My reviewer was Deanna Matzen who was incredible. I reached out to The PA Life’s editing service after being disappointed by myparesource, whom I was referred to initially. Deanna composed two alternate ways to structure my journey and allowed me to find a novel way to present my personal statement. After revision, I was able to flip my lens, utilize my introduction as my conclusion, and the rest of the paper began to fall into place. Very satisfied with the quality of her work, thank you so much, Deanna!

Steven, Pre-PA

Deanna was so amazing! She was really thorough and strengthened my essay in one edit! I feel so confident submitting my essay and I have high hopes for interviews! Thank you for providing these services to those of us with stories that need help being told. I would definitely recommend this service to everyone who wants to apply to PA school!

Valeria, Pre-PA

I used the personal statement editing service with Deanna Matzen (April/May 2021) and the mock interview service with Mary Jones (June 2021). Both were exceptional to work with and helped me to achieve my goal. I applied to three schools and received interview invites from all three (I’m a first-time applicant). I was waitlisted at one in June and later accepted in November, received early acceptance to my top choice in November (UTSW), and I chose to decline my third interview scheduled in December. Thank you for your services!

Rachelle, Pre-PA

My editor was quick and responsive with her emails. Her explanations on how to improve my personal statement were detailed and organized. I’m very glad I chose The PA Life to help me with my personal statement and point me in the right direction. Thank you very much!

Phillip, Pre-PA

Deanna has helped me so much with my essay. I will definitely be reaching out for additional editing help and am so thankful this service is available. My editor was impeccably prompt, communicated her role, suggestions, and time frame which was great.

Morgan, Pre-PA

I submitted my application this morning so I am not able to answer if I received an interview yet but I am THRILLED that I found this service. Sarah has been such a blessing working on my personal statement with me. She took my ideas and mediocre paper and turned it into a beautifully written story about my life. She helped me write exactly what I wanted to say and guided me with how to say it. I would recommend, without reservation, this service to anyone who is applying to PA school. I am one hundred times more confident about applying knowing my personal statement is exactly where it needs to be. Instead of feeling stressed and overwhelmed when I submitted my application this morning, I had complete peace. Thank you, for being a shining light full of kindness to applicants like myself.

Savannah, Pre-PA

Duke is great! I had such a great time with him editing my personal statement. So glad I found this site!

Melissa Nicole Aguilera, Pre-PA

Thank you so much for your assistance with perfecting my personal statement. This service is truly helpful. They were able to easily edit and help to convey exactly what was in my heart onto paper. I was accepted to my first choice PA program this week!!

Vincent, PA-S

The service provided was excellent. I really appreciate Duke taking the time and reviewing my essay multiple times and at that same time, making sure I am comfortable with the wording. Thank you for all your help!

Foram Patel, Pre-PA

The suggestions are great! My essay sounds better already and I’ve just started editing it. The edits are nicely explained and make sense, and I like that there are also comments about what sounds particularly good in my original draft, too. I like that, although you said I already had a very good start, there were still significant changes you suggested that, as I’ve heard others who used this service say, “elevated my work to a whole other level.”

Phong, Pre-PA

I just wanted to let you know I was accepted to Mercy College’s PA Program last night! To say I’m ecstatic is an understatement! I wanted to thank you once again for all of your help with my essays and my interview. You helped me so much with everything and I couldn’t have done it without you! Thank you for everything.

Anna Mantikas, PA-S

I just wanted to reach out an let you that I actually got into PA school this year! Out of the 10 programs I applied to, 4 offered me interviews. The first interview wound up being my top choice and they offered me a spot. I accept and declined all my other interviews. So I am absolutely overjoyed!! I wanted to let you know though. Your editing and help, no doubt, helped me get through the initial phase. Thank you so much! I am truly grateful.

Deanna, Pre-PA

Very helpful. I needed help figuring out what to cut and Sue was great at showing me what could go without sacrificing what I was trying to convey.

Dave, Pre-PA

I just want to let you know I received multiple interview invitations and got my first acceptance a few weeks ago! I am still preparing for more interviews, but at this point, I am pretty certain I will be going to Midwestern University, and I think so much of my success with applications is because of your help with my personal statement. Because of this, I wanted to reach out and say THANK YOU! I really appreciate your support and I would definitely recommend this service to anyone applying to PA school 🙂

Alli Cowan, Pre-PA

Thank you for all of your help with my essay. You used my content, but refined it and made it more relatable. I believe due to your help I gained three interviews this cycle! I was accepted to two of the three schools and I will be going to the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston this May. Again, thank you for all of your help, it has definitely changed my life.

Lauren Clewley, PA-S

I wanted to give you an update and thank you. I just received my first acceptance and at the interview, they commented on how well written my personal statement was. I appreciate your hard work and working with me to create such an awesome piece! Hopefully, this won’t be the last time we talk- maybe our paths will cross again one day!

Janne Kim, Pre-PA

I read my personal statement again today and got the chills. I am so happy with it and just wanted to thank you for all your help with my PA school essay!

Mikaela, Pre-PA

Duke made some important modifications to my essay and offered several helpful suggestions. I appreciated his insight and a keen eye.

Ilina K. Pre-PA

I was so glad that I chose to have Duke look over my essay, he turned it from long, rambling, and scattered to a much more concise, well written essay. I really feel as though it represents me well! Duke always responded quickly and I felt as though I got a lot of value for the money. Thank you!

Jennifer B. Pre-PA

Even at the busiest time of the year for applications, they got me my edit in a matter of days. They did a great job with grammar, punctuation and suggestions. I am very satisfied with the draft I got back from Sue.

Andrew, Pre-PA

Sarah was a joy to work with! She was extremely helpful and patient with any questions I had for her! 10/10 recommend using this service!

Lori, Pre-PA

I absolutely love the way my essay sounds! I truly appreciate all of your help. I will definitely recommend prospective PA students your way! It’s been a pleasure.

Natalie, Pre-PA

An amazing experience. Glad to have worked with Duke. He did his best, and it was very enjoyable.

Anand T. Pre-PA

I was very pleased with this service. Writing has never been my strongest area. While I had the ideas that I wanted to convey I wasn’t able to articulate them as well as I’d hoped. Carly provided comments and suggestions without altering my central thesis. Any questions that I had were answered quickly and thoroughly. Any grammatical mistakes were also addressed which put my mind at ease. I would recommend The PA Life personal statement essay revision service to anyone applying.

Keith G, Pre-PA

Thank you so much for your help with my personal statement. The process was everything I could have wanted and more. You were wonderful to work with and I appreciate very much how you were able to connect to my personal experiences and combine that with the traits that you know make a statement successful. I have applied to my first two PA schools and I owe a big part of that to you! Once again, Thank you very much!

Louis T. Pre-PA

I absolutely loved working with Sarah! She provided the best feedback to my personal statement, while also being sensitive to the details regarding personal family trauma. At the end of our sessions, I always felt confident in the statement and knew that Sarah would help me best articulate into words what I wanted to say. My statement now is something I can be completely confident in, and know that Sarah has been able to help me achieve a statement that prospective schools will pay attention to. Thank you, Sarah (and The PA Life) for everything!

Elizabeth, Pre-PA

I hope this email finds you well. I would like to thank you for your help with my PA school personal statement. I’m glad to share that I did get into my top choice – Drexel!

Ashley, Pre-PA

I am so happy with the service Sarah provided! My personal statement turned out exactly how I was hoping it would!

Jennifer, Pre-PA

Beth, my editor with The PA Life, truly made my essay feel impactful and, most importantly, expressed what I have to contribute to the PA profession. The one-on-one editing session we had was the most beneficial advice I have ever received, and her ability to work with my essay and make it so powerful was incredible. She is a professor, and her teaching methods were so easy to follow and guided me through how to write such a meaningful essay. I finally feel like an immense weight has been lifted off my shoulders after having her help me with the writing process and how to make what I have written even more high impact. I am forever grateful for this service. It has provided me with Beth, the sweetest and most insightful editor ever, a woman I admire and will be an essential factor in my journey to attending PA school. I currently feel confident in my abilities to receive an interview after working with her.

Sophia, Pre-PA

Susan did a fantastic job of editing my essay! She guided me and gave me suggestions for strengthening certain sections and equally took out weak parts. After I followed her recommendations, I really felt like I had an essay where every sentence mattered and reflected who I was. Thank you so much Susan for your help. I feel that I have a stronger essay because of your honest feedback and your help!

Patrick, Pre-PA

I really appreciated Carly’s attentiveness to my writing style and working to keep my message and content but working it in a way that reads easier. I appreciate her turnaround time, as well as priority deadlines for programs, are quickly approaching!

Jacob, Pre-PA

I wanted to tell you that I interviewed with MEDEX on Friday, got the call yesterday that I’m accepted! I also interviewed with Pacific University on and I felt that went VERY well too. I should hear from them any day now. I will keep you in the loop. I appreciate all your help and support!

Norah, PA-S

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101 PA School Admission Essays

Admissions Directors Know What They Want. Shouldn't You? You’re slaving away at your personal statement, but can’t help wondering if anyone will read past the first line. A troubling thought, isn’t…

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How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement

What Makes This Book Unique? We have worked with 1000’s of applicants through our Personal Statement and Essay Collaborative and have interviewed PA school faculty and Admissions Directors from 12…

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