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You are here: Home / Physician Assistant Stories / What is the Number One Regret People Have in Life?

What is the Number One Regret People Have in Life?

August 25, 2014 By Stephen Pasquini PA-C 2 Comments

Regret

The ward was bleak. Always eerily quiet.

A clinical world where clock ticks seemed to scream and that vile smell attacked more than the air, the walls, and the floors.

It attached itself to the people themselves as if they, too, had been harshly scrubbed down with disinfectant.

The worst part was the uncertainty.

You never really knew who would survive the night. Forming relationships felt as futile as trying to build a house in hurricane season.

The foundations could be swept away at any time.

The morning would come and the bed would be empty. Then, in a blink of an eye, a new soul on the verge of departure would fill the space.

There was one woman in particular. Her gaze alone stripped me down to my very core. She oozed fear, regret, and sadness.

Our time together was deeply confronting and undeniably life altering.

The woman that changed me could barely speak English. Her condition was incurable. She seemed to have some idea of who I was but it really didn’t matter.

As the young, “gung ho” PA student on clinical rotations part of my job was to assist on the Palliative Care ward.

Naively, I thought I was ready to go in and help solve the problems of the dying.  Only it wasn't I who would be offering the greatest life lessons, instead, I would be receiving them.

After all, how much counseling can you give to a woman you can barely speak to?

As it turned out, it wouldn't be an issue.  The majority of our time together was spent in silence, holding hands, with her squeezing mine at increasingly irregular intervals.

Hand in hand, mostly in silence, we contemplated life.

I wondered why her family never seemed to be around, how she had come to this ward, and why she hadn't taken the time to learn English, having been in the country for many years.

Occasionally, she would speak in her broken tongue, and almost every word was tainted with regret.

She would frequently apologize about her English, speak about doing work she used to hate, family relationships that had soured, and I would listen.

It really was too late to do anything about it.

I thought about the other people I worked with on the ward. It was strange. Those in the most physical pain almost always were in the greatest emotional pain and had the biggest regrets. Their language was littered with “should have”, “could have”, “wished I’d,” “why didn’t I” ...

Then there were the few patients I came across who were at peace.

Despite their circumstances, they would smile often, joke, and ask about me with great curiosity.  Even though their bodies were on the verge of final retirement, their eyes were bright and alive.

Often surrounded by friends and family, these people would tell fascinating stories about the risks they had taken, failures learned from and the great rewards received.

Just like me, they didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, but they seemed ready.

Her name was Maria

Regret

After what would be my final session with her, I knew I wouldn't be seeing her again.

I had done my best to assist her, and I could tell she appreciated it, and yet we both knew she had not found peace.

Following the last time we spoke, I sensed she would be leaving soon, and I became very angry. I stormed out of the hospital, and with a red-hot face and clenched fists I started walking. My head was swirling with confusion.

I had no idea why I was so angry. I soon realized what it was. I hated the feeling of helplessness.

I was angry at the truth. All those life clichés had punched me straight in the face. You only live once, follow your dreams, blah, blah, blah; it was all excruciatingly true.

After that day, I thought more and more about the importance of happiness and the meaning of time.

Maria had shaken me out of my naivety.

I had become afraid! But I was not afraid of death. Rather, I was afraid of not living. Not living fully, openly, and wholeheartedly.

Then I heard her last words to me:

“The number one regret people have in their life is not taking enough leaps of faith!”

The reality inside that statement floored me. I struggled to breathe as the realization sunk into my body. It wasn't just statistically true; a vocal arrow had struck a personal bull’s- eye.

My mind pulled me back to the hospital.

I took a deep breath, lifted my head to the sky... and jumped.

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About Stephen Pasquini PA-C

Stephen has been a family practice PA since 2004 and is the creator of The PA Life and Smarty PANCE Board Review websites. A National Health Service Corps Scholar and a graduate of The University of Medicine and Dentistry of NJ (Rutgers) PA Program and the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. Stephen's goal is to provide one-of-a-kind online resources for those interested in or practicing in the PA profession, to promote better access to healthcare for all, and foster universal recognition/awareness of the PA profession. Read more about Stephen.

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Comments

  1. Lina says

    September 2, 2014 at 1:16 am

    OMG ! I was not expecting the post to end as it did. WOW! Her regret is one that I hear often, as I work in a nursing home full time. Those that are at peace have taken many risks – and then there are others, who mutter under their breath constantly, or have angry outbursts at any one with a mood more upbeat than theirs. Im printing this post and putting it on my bathroom mirror!
    Blessings! I am sure you are more than well after this video 🙂
    Lina

    Reply
    • Stephen says

      September 4, 2014 at 5:59 am

      🙂 Yes Lina, I survived… barely! I wrote this post right before my kids talked me into jumping from that ridiculous bridge, for some reason as I went to hit publish the video seemed timely. Nothing reminds me more of the finality of our time here on earth than working in medicine. We lost a 19 year old to brain cancer a few months ago in our clinic. She and her family accepted her passing so stoically. It was humbling. I hope all is well on your end, and if you have the time make sure you jump from a bridge, it is totally worth it! 🙂

      – Stephen

      Reply

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Duke helped me write a great personal statement. I won’t know if I’ve been accepted to the program until Christmas/New Year’s, but I feel that it was worth every penny!

Alicia C. Pre-PA

Holy cow! I wanted to let you know I have been accepted to PA school.  I will be attending the Franklin Pierce Physician Assistant Program, Class of 2019 in West Lebanon, NH. I cannot thank you enough for being part of my journey.

If you are reading this you might have been like me skeptical and trying to find a way to write a stellar essay for your PA application.  I want to share with you my exceptional experience using this service.  First, do yourself a favor and BUY the eBook, “How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement.”  I read it twice. Once before I started my essay draft and then again during.  I cannot stress how helpful the book was in clearly stating what the Admissions Directors are looking for in an application essay.  Next, the book reviews how to formulate a proper essay with clear instructions, easy reminders of the writing process, and excellent examples of good and bad writing choices.  After several drafts of my essay, I made an appointment to work with Duke Pasquini, one of the authors of the guide, through the internet and via phone to help with editing and my length issue.  Duke’s professional experience and kind and straight forward demeanor allowed me to create a winning essay that was an authentic representation of me.  Not only did I receive an interview from my top choice of PA school I was accepted a week later into their Physician Assistant Program, Class of 2019.  Thank you, “PA Life” for being a part of my journey.

Michele Williams, PA-S

My editor did an excellent job with my essays. I struggle with writing emotionally and she took my material and really personalized it. I feel very confident sending in my essays after having her look at them. She promptly returned my essays and did a stellar job. Thank you!

Danielle, Pre-PA

Sue was very attentive to details and her comments and edits made a perfect sense. Thank you for your help!

Margaryta, Pre-PA

Your service was able to help me figure out exactly what I needed to include, what did not belong and helped me display my experiences the best way possible to form a great essay. Carly was able to help me create my best essay by just editing the order and grammar without changing much of any of my written work. I am very happy with how my essay turned out. Definitely worth the money, thank you for all your help!

Nicolas, Pre-PA

I thought that the service was very helpful in helping me with my personal statement. Duke was always prompt with responding to emails and made himself very available throughout the process. He was also good and helping, but also making sure that I was the one doing the writing. I think that the structure of the service helped me put in enough time to come out with a very good finished product.

David H. Pre-PA

I really felt the person who edited my essay, Sue Edmondson, took the time to get to know me as a person because she wanted my essay to reflect exactly who I am. I couldn’t have been more impressed with the edits and revisions she has given me along with the reasoning behind each revision.

Nicala, Pre-PA

I used your service for my personal statement and my top school secondary. I feel this is an amazing service and have recommended it to many of my friends who are currently applying to PA school.

Jeff, Pre-PA

This is just a great service overall, because not only is it an editing service, it is specific to the PA personal statement. Sue did a wonderful job editing my essay, and pointed out important flaws in it that I otherwise might not have noticed. Her edits highlighted the main points that I was trying to get across in a much better way than I had originally written. Overall, very satisfied with the results, and will have to keep you updated about the interviews. Thanks so much!

Sabrina L. Pre-PA

Sue was very quick to edit my essay and give feedback. Any questions were answered very promptly. I am very pleased with the service provided.

Brandon, Pre-PA

Very helpful. I needed help figuring out what to cut and Sue was great at showing me what could go without sacrificing what I was trying to convey.

Dave, Pre-PA

Carly blew away all my expectations. She not only suggested edits to refine the content, but she also made grammatical and structural changes that fine-tuned my essay and allowed it to flow. I came into the editing process feeling hopeless about my personal statement, but with her edits, I feel confident that it will stand out. On top of all that, Carly was very timely in editing and returning my essay – I got it back within a few days! I’m very pleased with her service and recommend it to anyone out there who needs a fresh, professional set of eyes on their personal statement.

Stephanie, Pre-PA

Sarah helped to condense my detailed thoughts into a powerful essay. Over the phone, she was careful to collaborate with me before making any changes so that the piece remained under my control and in my voice. She served as a guide and insured the essay brought out my strengths and reasons for pursuing the PA profession. Overall, I’m incredibly happy with the service!

Julie, Pre-PA

I just wanted to give you an update! So far I have had two interviews and been accepted to both! I have three more interviews scheduled as of right now, and still waiting to hear from a handful of schools. Thank you so much for all of your help with my essay!

Jennifer Bidwell, PA-S

Having my essay edited proved extremely helpful. I was having trouble connecting my thoughts, and the edit helped so much. I haven’t found out about acceptance yet. I’m just now about to submit my application!

Amber, Pre-PA

Duke helped me with my essay and he was great! He really helped me fine tune my essay so it’s ready for submission and answered all of the question I had about small details in my essay. He was also great about responding to emails in a timely manner. I definitely recommend this personal statement review service to anyone who’s applying to PA school…even if it’s just as a final read-through before submitting it on their application.

Tyler J. Pre-PA

The comments and edits made by Sue are exceptional! They’ve helped a lot in terms of helping me express my thoughts more clearly and effectively. It felt as if she was there with me, reading my thoughts and helping me with the entire process in person!

Amy, Pre-PA

I just wanted to let you know that the majority of my interviews have gone really well! So far, I’ve received six interview invites and have interviewed for five schools. Midwestern (AZ) just got back to me a bit ago, and they sent me an acceptance email! I am beyond thrilled! I just wanted to thank you so much for your help! Your mock interview gave me a lot of confidence that I was able to carry into my interviews! I appreciated having the opportunity to practice my interview skills with you. I wanted to let you know just how much you’ve helped me with my application process (with my interviews, personal statement, and just my confidence in general)! Thank you so much for all of the advice over the past few months!

Sneh, PA-S

Sarah from The PA Life was an incredible resource for editing my personal statement. Her edits took into account the big picture of the message of the statement and helped guide me when writing additional content my statement was lacking. Her edits and responses were both prompt and thorough, and I truly feel that she made a huge positive impact on my personal statement.

Travis, Pre-PA

This was a very quick service and the attention to detail and response time was amazing. I thank you for having a service like this and am so happy I decided to go with the PA Life!!

Rachel, Pre-PA

Deanna was professional, prompt, and easy to talk to. I truly enjoyed working with her one-on-one for my personal statement. Her suggestions elevated my writing, and I appreciate all the work she put in my essay.

Jamie, Pre-PA

My editor with The PA Life was amazing! I am so thankful for her attention to detail and wonderful editing skills. I am thrilled with how my personal statement turned out and can’t thank you enough for all of your help.

Olivia, Pre-PA

Sarah is absolutely amazing and really helped transform my essay into the best version it could have possibly been!

Shannon B. Pre-PA

My editor did an amazing job of quickly getting my rough draft back to me. I paid for your service very late in the game, yet The PA Life worked with my timeline and was very thorough in the editing process. I am very impressed with how eloquent I sound in the personal statement. I can not recommend your service enough!!

Katie, Pre-PA

Excellent service! The editor did a great job of working with me to write my personal statement as I wanted. They also provide some pointers and tips on how to write which is good for supplemental essays and writing prompts.

Ryan, Pre-PA

Carly from The PA Life was amazing as I knew she would be based on her bio! She touched base with me when she received my personal statement and gave me a turnaround timeframe that she stuck to. In fact, she completed it earlier than expected. I am beyond satisfied!!!! Thank you, Carly, and The PA Life!

Pamela, Pre-PA

I really appreciated Duke and his way of cutting out the unnecessary fluff in my essay. He was extremely helpful and helped steer me in the right direction to better my writing and make me a more competitive applicant. I am currently still applying to programs and will notify you guys once I get an invitation!

Ani S. Pre-PA

Deanna was an absolute joy to work with. Not only was she a wonderful writer and editor, but she helped me develop my thoughts and produce a personal statement I was proud to submit. She helped me refine my ideas, and concise my writing to illustrate my reasons for wanting this career. She was also very prompt in responding to my emails and questions. I am very happy with my personal statement and would recommend this service to anyone who is considering this service or feels stuck in their writing process.

Maddie, Pre-PA

Deanna (my editor at The PA Life) is the GOAT. She went so far above and beyond all my expectations. My jaw was on the floor reading my personal statement after she worked on it.

Austin, Pre-PA

I finally have amazing news. So first of all, in total, I was offered 13 interviews. I was just offered a seat at Nova Orlando! I am finally going to be a PA and a big part of that was from all of your help with my personal statement. So thank you very much for helping me succeed during this round.

Jennifer, PA-S

I just wanted to send you a quick email, letting you know that I finally got accepted into PA school! I will be attending Sacred Heart University in Connecticut and will be starting this fall. I could not have made it this far without your help! This was my third time applying and during my first two cycles, I didn’t think that I needed outside help. But this time around, I decided that I needed to change my tactic and I am so freaking happy that I did. Your guidance and advice on my personal statement absolutely made a difference. I had 6 interviews and got accepted into 4! You have helped changed my life and I am forever grateful. I have several friends who will be applying this cycle so I will be referring them to you!

Christian, Pre-PA

Carly did more than help revise my grammatical errors and flow. She was able to show me the strengths and weaknesses of the concepts of my essay. She was able to tell me what it was missing as well as praise me for what I did correctly. It gave me confidence in my writing, and I truly believe it will make an impact on the way PA programs view me.

Sherry, Pre-PA

Sue Edmonson has been a great help in ensuring my personal statement made sense and fit what information I was trying to convey. Her ability to find the pertinent parts in an essay and gain more information about me to make the essay seem relative to my pursuits was truly a Godsend. Would recommend her and your company to others. Thanks!

Christopher Ohsie, Pre-PA

Thank you so much for helping me with my physician assistant program application essays and interview! I am so excited to let you know that I received multiple PA school acceptances and have decided that I will be attending Cornell University’s PA Program in New York City. The program begins in February 2019 and I cannot wait to begin!  I truly appreciate all your help and encouragement throughout my PA application process.

Christine Chen, PA-S

Sarah was so helpful, accommodating my needs, and I would highly recommend her to a friend/peer. I love this company and the people that work here!

Erin Felter, Pre-PA

My experience with the PA Life personal statement collaborative was simply remarkable. My editor did an outstanding job making sure that my personal statement reflected my BEST work and addressed all of my concerns regarding the essay and other questions I had about my application. I can’t thank you enough for all the help I received during this process. Thank you!

Erika, Pre-PA

After receiving two edits from Carly I feel extremely confident in my personal statement. She not only fixed grammatical error and syntax, but helped me better organize my thoughts into a competitive essay. To other Pre-PAs looking to submit their essays: I know it’s a bit of an investment but the peace of mind, comfortability, and confidentiality is so worth it! Thank you The PA Life!

Elizabeth, Pre-PA

Sarah was amazing and so helpful with thoroughly explaining her edits! I was so impressed with the first edit. She really took my theme to the next level and really helped tighten the flow of my essay. During our first phone call, I was amazed by how quickly she incorporated my new ideas/suggestions. Sarah is extremely clever with re-wording and cutting down unnecessary words, allowing you to elaborate more on important things. I can’t say enough good things about Sarah! I am so thrilled with my result!

Khanhi, Pre-PA

I am very happy with your service and would highly recommend it to any PA applicant. Duke helped me to put my thoughts in order and to make significant changes. My personal statement sounds great and seems easy and interesting to read now.  He took a lot of time to explain his way of thinking and to understand what I am trying to say. Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate what you are doing for others.

Olga N. Pre-PA

I just wanted to let you know I accepted a spot at the University of Dubuque’s PA program! I want to thank you for all your help and support in this process and for all the positivity you brought my way. Thanks for all you do and I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with you! I would recommend you highly to anyone.

Meghna, PA-S

The editor I was assigned, Ms. Matzen, was incredibly friendly, courteous, and professional. This was easily the best experience I’ve had with any guidance or essay editing program.

Andrew, Pre-PA

I have never used a service like this before. All I can say is that I wish I had discovered it sooner 😀

Rebecca G. PA-S

I have been accepted to my first-choice program!! UC Denver, I don’t have to move! I have also received three other interviews so far. Thank you so much for your help with my personal statement. You helped me eloquently state my desires and strengths for the career. I am beyond thrilled and thankful.

Nika, PA-S

I wanted to update you and say I’ve been accepted into two programs (waiting for two more responses) with Jefferson University (my program of choice) being one of them. Thank you for all your help and your tips and for making this a genuinely joyful 2022!

Yejin (Future PA)

This company is THE BEST! Carly did such an awesome job of not only revising my personal statement but also explaining every step she made. It helped me understand why certain things fit better in different places and helped improve my writing. I am able to submit my applications confidently, knowing that I have a strong personal statement. I HIGHLY recommend this service!

Tiffany M, Pre-PA

The feedback that I received through The PA Life editing service was more detailed than I expected! It gave me a clear idea of what direction I need to take in regard to my personal statement. I absolutely loved the edits!

Crystal, Pre-PA

Sarah was amazing from beginning to end. Her listening skills are just superb. She edits in a manner that captures your story in a raw format and complete format. I loved my experience.

Vivian, Pre-PA

Sue did a wonderful job. I know this is an extremely busy time of year as CASPA is accepting applications and Sue was great about responding to my initial submission and getting back to me. She provided thoughtful feedback and quality editing. Fingers crossed for an acceptance to PA school!

Jo Lynn, Pre-PA

Sarah was absolutely incredible to work with! My initial draft conveyed all the ideas that I wanted it to, but I wasn’t sure that it flowed well or was memorable. Sarah did a great job with helping me make my introduction stand out and also helped me immensely with the overall structure of my essay. My personal statement had initially been a source of stress but I am so happy with my final draft and extremely grateful to Sarah for her thoughtful insights!

Tina, Pre-PA

I wanted to tell you that I interviewed with MEDEX on Friday, got the call yesterday that I’m accepted! I also interviewed with Pacific University on and I felt that went VERY well too. I should hear from them any day now. I will keep you in the loop. I appreciate all your help and support!

Norah, PA-S

I wanted you to know about my acceptance into Elizabethtown College’s PA program. I am incredibly excited – I loved the school, the program and thought the staff was incredible, especially the director. I know my personal statement was a key component of getting an interview with them, and I am so thankful for your help in getting my statement polished!

Steve, PA-S

I wanted to let you know how this application season was going for me so far.

I’ve had two interviews, still have at least three more scheduled, and I received my first acceptance last week.

Thank you again for your help!

Nancy Peterson, Pre-PA

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