I want to say thank you, first off for providing such a service. It was difficult having to write a personal statement and then have others critique it, when there is not a clear rubric to follow. I think having to write a personal statement is such an emotional process, and then having others edit it, can be a very harsh pill to swallow. Thank you for your edits, I have no doubt that this process will make my personal statement more compelling and hopefully a more competitive applicant.