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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
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(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers having worked over seven years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Dorian Albanese says
My first rough draft, all critiques and advice please!
A woman called 911 after suffering a fall which fractured her right humerus. My very first call precepting as an EMT under supervision was underway, as we rushed to the scene. I was finally able to apply my training in a real-world scenario as I splinted and swathed the fractured arm, all the while giving the proper emotional support during a time of severe stress for the patient as well as myself! My first call was a success, as the patient was cared for and extremely grateful for our help. A few days later a note was mailed to our headquarters addressed to our crew from the patient we cared for, stating we “were so professional and expert in transporting me to the Hospital. They alleviated my fear and made me comfortable in a bad situation.”. At this moment, it dawned on me the impact that proper healthcare can have on what might be considered somebody’s worst day, or an ailment that causes somebody tremendous stress. This experience only confirmed for me that working in this field is exactly what I was meant to do.
Shortly after I began volunteering as an attendant for the ambulance corps., I made a shift in my priorities. I previously had no clear direction, but the realization that I have a passion for healthcare had lead me to start shifting my college curriculum toward more science and healthcare oriented classes. Within two years I was able to complete all of the pre-requisite classes for PA school while simultaneously attaining my Bachelors Business degree in finance. In this time, I would also become a state certified EMT and dedicate my time toward volunteering. I had also been persistent in my scouting for a job in the healthcare field during the times of COVID, and have just recently accepted a position as a Medical Scribe as of January 2021. Even though I had known that I wanted to work in healthcare, the PA profession caught my attention almost immediately.
I was first introduced to the profession by a relative of mine who had been working as a physician assistant for some time. He had recommended that I research more about it, and that I would be a great fit for the position. After researching the position and spending time discussing it with him, it became clear to me that this is the route that I want to take. Since this time, I was given the opportunity to shadow orthopedic PAs in two different practices as well as an emergency medicine PA. This gave me a greater understanding of the field as well as affirmation that this is what I want to do. The atmosphere of dynamic emergency medicine intrigues me because of my time working on the ambulance, and working in orthopedics had grabbed my attention because of my love for sports. In the ER, I had witnessed the PA discuss and interview a patient about chest pain, then just a few minutes later treat epistaxis with a balloon catheter! In orthopedics, I developed a greater understanding of the relationships the provider develops with their patients, as there were many patients that would come on a repeat basis for cortisone or gel injections.
Communicating efficiently and working well under pressure are some of the skills that will help me be a successful PA. Over the years I have been able to develop these skills from volunteering on the ambulance, to serving in a busy Italian restaurant for four years, to volunteering as an assistant coach for my high school wrestling team. During the COVID pandemic I also joined the Long Island Cares Volunteer Organization and volunteered some of my time to help package food items for a senior outreach program, working in a team with others to do our job the most efficient way possible. I’m able to use these skills in order to do a task to the best of my ability, whether that be designating responsibilities to my crew members on scene of an emergency, or not being hesitant to ask a coworker for help during a busy shift.
It’s common for somebody to want an exciting work environment, and being a PA surely has unpredictable aspects to it. What separates the best from the bunch I believe, is the PA who gives the same care and puts the same effort forth into the patient with a bloody nose as they do the patient with congestive heart failure, or a stroke. As providers, we have a tremendous amount of responsibility, and to give the proper time and respect to each patient no matter the severity of the situation shows true character. This is what I strive to achieve every EMS call I’m a part of, and will carry with me through the rest of my career.
Whitney Prosperi says
Dorian,
You are off to a good start.
In your introduction, I suggest adding some dramatic details about this call that will capture the reader’s attention right off the bat. Also, you may want to mention your desire to do more for this patient after you dropped her at the hospital.
In your paragraph that describes your shadowing, add some details about the interactions (between PA/patient) that confirmed your decision to pursue the PA path.
It would also be helpful to learn more reasons the PA profession is right for you. What aspects of it really speak to you? (the potential for more time/contact with patients? the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team? your desire for collaboration) Elaborate on why this profession is a good fit for you. (as opposed to NP or MD)
Remember that if you need more help, we are currently taking submissions for our essay revision service. Good luck to you!
Christina says
This is my first rough draft and I would love feedback to see if I’m going in the right direction. Thank you in advance!
Escape. When I was younger, all I could think about was escape. I wanted to escape poverty and all the hardships that it brought. I wanted to escape my own feelings of worthlessness. At age 12, I learned how to treat my mother’s wounds with alcohol and crude stitch work because we couldn’t afford to go to the ER. I can still see her scars. I can still feel mine. At 15, my face erupted with uncontrollable acne. I felt trapped in my own skin. I would avoid pictures with my friends. I’d let my hair cover my face. At 17, my aunt came to visit and saw the effect acne had on me and took me to a dermatologist. She paid for the whole visit. I felt embarrassed, but relieved. I remember a woman in a white coat introduced herself as the physician assistant. When she started asking questions about my skincare routine, I broke down in tears. I knew it wasn’t just because of my acne. I felt like I had no control in my life. I had no control over my family’s financial situation. I had no control over the long shifts my mom had to work, which left her drained and empty. And now I had no control over my appearance. The acne began to control me. I looked through my tears to see the PA smiling. Gentle arms embraced me as she told me I was beautiful. She gave me tips on how to save my skin, but unknowingly gave me so much more. I was shown how to take control of a small, but influential part of my life. I started to dedicate hours to my skincare and physical health. I found my confidence and it poured into other aspects of my life. I dedicated hours to my school work, completed high school within the top 15th percent of my class, and gained acceptance to my number one choice for college. Scholarships and hard work allowed me to attend Baylor University, the university of my dreams.
Learning. When I was in college, all I could think about was learning. I discovered the value of knowledge and wanted to soak in as much as I could. As a neuroscience major, I studied the brain processes that allow us to walk, sensory nerves that allow us to feel, motor neurons that allow us to talk. I felt like the human experience deserved to be documented. After my anatomy class, I spent my free time drawing intricate webs of cell tissues;meticulously painting the pores of our skin, perfecting the curves of our bones. I became so motivated to learn, even things outside of medicine like sociology, linguistics, and interpersonal psychology. Throughout my studies, I would often think back to the physician assistant that changed the direction of my life years ago. One day, my mother called to tell me about how a PA found feasible options for her medications. The excitement she expressed in being able to afford her health made me realize what I wanted. At age 20, I knew then that I was going to implement all that I had learned and become a PA. Unfortunately, the road was never easy. Financial burdens continued to stay with me throughout my college experience. There were instances when my grades would slip because my time was spent working jobs at odd hours of the night, or worrying about whether I would be able to afford the next semester. But I kept pushing because my education was worth it. I kept pushing because I was determined to succeed. Through sweat, tears, pain, and sleepless nights I was the first in my family to graduate from a prestigious university with a degree in neuroscience. At age 23, I look back at my struggles with a smile because they made me who I am today: A person capable of overcoming anything. That is the greatest lesson I have learned. Since graduation, I have continued my pursuit of personal growth. My post graduate experience as a medical scribe has given me the skills and medical terminology needed to thrive in PA school. Not only did I scribe for emergency medicine physicians in an ER setting, but I also scribed for an internist in a clinic setting. This has provided me with an in-depth understanding of various medical conditions and their treatments. I had the opportunity to shadow a PA in internal medicine and dermatology regularly. I have seen the commitment, empathy, and dedication they have for their patients. These professional relationships have given special insight that I will carry with me throughout my career. My future patients will benefit from my dedication, meticulousness, perseverance, adaptability, and versatility.
Hope. Currently, all I can think about is hope and the future is bright. I can see myself as a physician assistant; I can see myself changing lives, just how mine was changed. As someone who was born in darkness, I want to help those who might be going through similar situations. Those who feel lost; those who feel out of control. I no longer want to escape. I want to dive right into everything I used to fear and be a light to guide others out. Physician assistants are that light; the bridge between people and healthcare and I can think of no greater profession to pursue.
Whitney Prosperi says
Christina,
I can sense your resilience and compassion throughout the words of your essay.
You do a good job of showing your introduction to the PA profession and the impact a PA can make on a patient.
I think you should condense where you can so that you can leave room for a few more elements in your essay.
I think it would be helpful to learn more about why the PA profession is right for you. (as opposed to other careers in the medical field) What aspects of it speak to you? (the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team? the collaboration? the potential for more time/contact with patients?)
Also, if you have a patient care story you can include, add that. It would be helpful to see you interacting with a patient who really motivated you to increase your scope of practice so you can do more for patients. Can you add a paragraph that shows you in action performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level? You want to show how you perform your duties and what you have to offer patients as a future PA.
Also, in your conclusion I would add a line about your interest in caring for patients directly and why you will excel at combining clinical expertise with a personal touch to support patients.
I wish you good luck in the process, Christina.
Amanda Nabasaliza says
Serve. Bump. Set. Spike. Just like my favorite sport of volleyball, my journey to becoming a physician assistant (PA) has taken several vital moves. I have always known that I wanted to serve people through healthcare, and after a few bumps and rallies, I am confident in my decision to pursue a career as a PA.
I have known since I was ten years old that I would ultimately be involved in healthcare. But much like a serve can take different forms, I did not know exactly where I would fit in. I just knew I wanted to get started. My serve in life took shape the summer leading into my junior of college when I enrolled in a certified nursing assistant/home health aide (CNA/HHA) course to find my footing in healthcare. I discovered that while others turned away as a provider changed a patient’s colostomy bag, I was more than willing, to watch, learn, and assist in the process.
Sometimes, during a volleyball rally, a bump does not go as intended and results in a fly ball. I had two such unintended bumps during my time as an undergraduate at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. The first occurred during my spring semester of freshmen year when I sustained a grade 1 ACL tear playing volleyball. My grades in biology suffered during my recovery, but, with hard work and determination, I was able to improve my performance towards the end of the semester. The second bump occurred during my spring semester of junior year when I sustained a grade 3 ACL and meniscus tear while playing volleyball. At this point, the only course of action was to get surgery. I was devasted. However, this was when my journey transformed into the perfect set and spike combination.
During the surgery and recovery periods I meet Kevin, an orthopedic PA. He was the first and last person I saw during my pre- and post-operative appointments. He obtained my medical history, answered any questions I had about physical therapy and post-operative infection control. But he also shared his past experiences with surgery and gave me a better insight into his life. Our level of open communication instilled the trust that should always be present between a patient and provider and made me feel at ease about the entire process. I hope to have that same impact with my future patients as a PA.
Thanks to Kevin and a team of healthcare providers, what had started as a devasting hardship set me up for a career spike into the PA world. During my fall semester, I joined the pre-PA program at my university which gave me better insight into the career. Practicing PAs and student PAs shared their experiences which further motivated me. I enrolled in prerequisites like biochemistry and microbiology and enjoyed how the complex nature of these courses challenged my previous way of thinking and learning. I even found tutoring my fellow classmates before exams enjoyable.
After completing my undergraduate education, I was eager to interact with patients and gain exposure to the healthcare setting. I became a research assistant for the All of Us Research Program at Boston Medical Center. I performed mini physicals for low income, culturally diverse patients in both the inpatient and outpatient settings. During one particular appointment, I was taking an elderly Hispanic woman’s blood pressure, and she informed me that her values might be elevated because she forgot to take her medication that morning. The values were indeed elevated, so I implemented our urgent emergent protocol. She answered some few questions I had for her and I paged our collaborating health care providers to assess the situation. The visit ended with me escorting her to the emergency department for further evaluation. This situation taught me not only how to connect and build a rapport with a patient in a short amount of time, but also how to remain calm in a high-pressure situation.
I currently work in a pediatric ophthalmology department at Boston Children’s Hospital as a clinical research coordinator. This experience has allowed me to perform post dilation
examinations such cycloplegic refraction and biometry exams that give the doctor a better understanding of which glasses or form of treatment to prescribe a patient. During these appointments I am the first and last person my study patients see. I take this opportunity to gather any questions or concerns the patient might want the doctor to address to put them at ease.
My end goal, much like a spike at the end of a volleyball rally, is to contribute to patients’ lives in a way that makes a great difference – like Kevin did for me. My experiences have made me a versatile and a well-rounded candidate. Although I enjoy the work I have done and still do, I am limited in the care I can provide for patients. I want to receive the education and training to diagnose, prescribe treatment, and ensure the overall wellbeing of a patient.
Even after all my ups and downs with my favorite sport, I have not given it up. I intend to be the PA that works until patients have the solution they need and deserve, someone that they feel comfortable communicating with and building rapport.
Whitney Prosperi says
Amanda,
You do a good job of showing how you arrived on the PA path.
Also, l can sense your desire to positively impact patients.
I would suggest condensing where you can so you have room to add a few elements to your essay. Also, I suggest having a trusted friend read over your personal statement. (I noticed devastated was misspelled.)
I would add some details about what aspects of the profession really speak to you. (more time for relationships with patients, the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team, ability to switch specialties?)
Also, if you have any shadowing experience I would describe that. What did you observe in watching interactions between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that confirmed your desire to become a PA?
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck to you in the process, Amanda.
Karen says
I have always been an extremely curious and proactive person who has never been afraid to try new things. As a result, I pursued music from a young age, played sports in high school, and learned about investing after becoming financially independent. I find myself constantly seeking knowledge throughout every stage of life. I want to explore medicine with the same drive, never losing sight of a holistic view of patient care in underserved populations.
The summer before my junior year in high school, I had a shadowing opportunity in a small family practice clinic. Even though I initially went to shadow an MD, I met a PA named Ryan who first opened my eyes to the breadth of possibilities that being a PA presents. Talking over lunch, his passion for medicine shone through with every story about a different specialty he had worked in. Ryan’s words resonated with me especially when he said, “you’re young so you have time to explore what you like.” Like that day with shadowing, I commonly find myself going into a situation expecting one thing and learning something that was not initially on my radar. My job as a student assistant in public health research encouraged me to look into helping underserved communities. My position as a behavioral therapist taught me how interconnected mental health is with physical health, and the importance of a strong provider-patient relationship. While simultaneously working those two jobs, another position as a medical assistant taught me that I loved being hands-on with patients. Ryan’s encouragement for exploration spurred me to explore each step on my journey, and I want to become a PA for the lateral mobility it offers. Building new skills and knowledge through exploration is an integral part of who I am, and this aligns with the lateral mobility PAs possess. I want to have the freedom to try specialties like psychiatry, primary care, and emergency medicine; being a PA would allow me the flexibility to explore my interests while still continuing to provide care to those in need.
I grew up in a middle-class family living in a suburban city in California; access to healthcare was something I never had to think about. The summer of my sophomore year in college, I traveled to Honduras for a medical mission trip. I wasn’t prepared to see villagers flooding our clinics every day, looking for the rare consultation from a medical professional. One memorable patient was a blind man with terminal cancer. Our PA treated the man with compassion, giving him the time to ask questions despite our clinic overflowing with patients. The man left with a grateful smile, and his last words to us were “gracias por todo.” Those words carried heavy significance throughout my entire stay in Honduras. After working in a multitude of specialties on the clinic rotations which included optometry, dentistry, and educating the youth about public health standards, I heard “gracias por todo” every time. It was a simple phrase but it was a stark reminder for me of the impact I could make in the world as a PA. PAs are trained with a generalist approach to medicine, able use strong fundamentals in any clinical setting. Because of this, they are ideal candidates for treating underserved populations where medical conditions can vary considerably. Before my mission trips, I had no idea that such a drastic disparity existed in healthcare, and my desire to address this disparity further fuels my decision to become a PA. I want to be a provider that can help these populations “por todo.”
For two years during and after college, I worked with Marcelo, a five year old client on the autism spectrum. At first glance, there were many things he struggled with: writing did not come easy to him because he did not like how the pencil felt in his hand; the loud flushing noises from public restrooms were overstimulating; and he would put everything in his mouth because he liked the tactile sensation. Yet, if you took time to understand Marcelo, there was much more to him than met the eye. He did exceptionally well memorizing geography and locations. He conjured up stories easily and read far higher than his grade level. While this highly personalized setting may have been a less common way to gain patient care experience, it taught me to always be mindful of the patient above all else. For Marcelo, I never would have grown to appreciate that deeper side of him if I didn’t get the opportunity to work with him for an extended period of time. To understand the uniqueness of each patient as I had with Marcelo, it is imperative that providers create a lasting relationship with patients. Without this, continuity of care breaks down, and patient outcomes suffer. I want to be a PA because I want to use their increased patient contact to help patients like Marcelo. Working with him taught me that healthcare is more than the treatments you provide; it is about the people more than anything else.
Whitney Prosperi says
Karen,
I can sense your desire to make a difference in the lives of patients.
I would suggest that in your introduction you “show” rather than tell about your proactive and curious nature. You may want to share a brief story that reveals your early love for learning and growing.
You do a good job of showing how the PA you shadowed steered you toward the PA path. I would also add what inspired you about the interactions you witnessed between PA/patient or even PA/supervising physician. Describe what you saw that confirmed this was the right decision for you.
Also, describe how you built your work experience and what clinical skills you have gained along the way. How have these prepared you to be comfortable in PA school?
Lastly, I would write a separate conclusion from the story about Marcelo that connects your strengths, (that proactivity and curiosity from your introduction) your interest in caring for patients directly, and why you will excel at combining clinical expertise with a personal touch to support patients. You want to show how you are suited to a PA profession and what you have to offer as a future PA.
Good luck to you!
Chelsea McCauley says
Here is a draft of my personal statement. Please let me know what you think.
This is the third case he has seen, the first I have ever witnessed. To say that this disease is rare, is an understatement. A flood of emotions came with the diagnosis — shock, fear, anger, hopelessness, and denial all rushed over her family. After many doctors visits, labs, and screenings, he diagnoses her with a rare terminal disease that will change their lives forever. As I helped her out of her seat, I saw the pain in her eyes and knew that she only had a few years of mobility and cognitive awareness left. Coming into that room the disease was her enemy, coming out it was the stairs, the memories, and time.
Even though my experience with that neurologist set the course for my dream to become a part of patients’ battles, diagnoses, and treatments on an emotional and physical front, I decided to find as many shadowing opportunities as possible to solidify my future goals. At an Urgent Care Clinic in College Station, I observed a PA building personal, trusting relationships with her patients while maintaining her schedule and gently weighing each word to balance understanding and medical authority. This type of medical relationship took an even more critical place in my view of healthcare shadowing in Honduras at a nonprofit clinic. Here, a Honduran doctor, with a lack of modern technology and labs, diagnosed solely based on palpation. As he pressed into the lower back of one of his patients, I saw him gauge facial reactions. After a few minutes, he slowly explained to the patient that she had a UTI and talked her through the corresponding treatment. From a physiological standpoint, this type of hands-on medicine deeply intrigued me, and, almost a year after that experience, I witnessed another type of direct care. In Waco, I watched a team of surgeons, anesthesiologists, perfusionists, nurses, and PAs perform a triple coronary artery bypass graft on a critically ill patient. As I watched the surgeons bovie away layers of subdermal fat and tissue, I remembered my experience observing a PA in a cardiology clinic weeks prior. The stark contrast between interacting with fathers, mothers, and grandparents at the clinic and the bright lights of the surgical table made me realize the importance of teamwork between the different types of medical care.
In every shadowing experience, I saw a breadth of developed knowledge and medical experience. Witnessing the importance of scholastic prudence firsthand, I pursued my academic studies with passion. Even though my first semester of college ended with a relatively low GPA, I took action through academic coaching, supplemental instruction, and individual tutoring in my core science classes, resulting in a significant increase in my classroom performance. After learning a variety of study techniques and skills, I was able to perform successfully without the use of these additional services, demonstrating that I have the ability to be successful in a rigorous science-based program.
Developing academic passion required numerous reminders of my ultimate purpose. From an early age, I was led to this inspiration of serving my community to the best of my ability by my father. As I grew, my vivid memories of him collecting, wrapping, and delivering countless gifts to the underserved communities in our area transitioned into my own actions in Silent Santa and beyond. After moving away for college, I sought out other volunteering opportunities in a medical brigade, at Baylor Scott and White, and as a medical assistant at Texas Avenue Medical Clinic. In the medical brigade, I built sanitation stations for a family in Honduras, dug trenches for water pipes to be laid, and recorded vitals and medical history at a community-wide clinic. There I learned the importance of collaborative effort and care as we worked with the communities to put in place long-lasting physical and mental resources. Carrying this mindset back to America, I aided a team at Baylor Scott and White preparing prenatal packets for expectant mothers in our area. It was an invaluable experience to observe the cohesiveness of the team and learn how to disseminate medical information to the public. Using these skills, I began volunteering at the Texas Avenue Medical Clinic in College Station. Here, I learned to triage patients, obtain and record medical history, and assist with physical exams all while expanding my basis of medical Spanish. All of these opportunities inspired me to continue giving back to my community and gave me crucial hands-on experience.
From the perspective of that very first day at the neurologist’s office, I would have never expected the amount of growth and love I would develop in the field of medicine or that it would have started from such a painful diagnosis. The truth is, that patient with the rare neurological disease was my mother, and we have had to live with her diagnosis ever since. As devastating as this disease has been for our family, it is what truly lit the passion inside of me to become a Physician Assistant and pay forward the empathy my mother was shown. I now see victories two stairs at a time.
Whitney Prosperi says
Chelsea,
The story about your mother is inspiring and impactful. I also like how you tied your conclusion back to your introduction. She sounds like an amazing woman, and I know you will make a difference in many lives because of her.
You are wise to mention grade issues and I think you did a good job of showing your growth in this area. I would move this paragraph to the one before your conclusion as this is where readers are accustomed to seeing this addressed.
I also suggest including a patient care story in your essay. You will likely need to condense other areas of your essay so that there is room for this. Add a paragraph that shows you interacting with a patient, providing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting on a personal level. You want to show how you perform your duties and support patients and what you have to offer as a future PA.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember that we are taking essay submissions for our revision service should you need more help.
Good luck to you!
Mikayla K says
As I applied to physician assistant programs last year, the world was in a much different state, and so was I. At the time, I was worried about my applications and about finishing my final few credits before graduation; today, I worry about the health of my family and friends. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought fear and uncertainty into the lives of millions, and I question how much longer this bleak chapter in our history will last.
An urge to aid my community was forged in the crucible of this pandemic. As a result, I pursued a position in the urgent care field when the state-wide lockdown was lifted. I wanted to be on the front line during this pandemic and lend my support however possible. Working as an advanced clinical associate for Northwell Health – GoHealth Urgent Care has allowed me to work side-by-side with physician assistants to promote health and wellness as well as educate patients regarding the pandemic. Working closely with these PAs has greatly strengthened my desire to treat patients in that role myself. I have seen them deliver personal, high-quality care to an array of patients for a variety of ailments. Knowing that there are such competent, caring, compassionate providers who are willing to go above and beyond to help their patients has given me hope for the future of medicine and has inspired me to do my part. I want to be the one to provide someone with the help they need, to advocate for those with no more fight left to give, to support the sick and injured. I want to be a physician assistant so I can empower the public to take charge of their wellbeing and make a true difference in people’s lives. I want to care for patients on a level that exceeds expectations; from my experience, working as a PA celebrates this idea.
As an advanced clinical associate, I am able to help patients of all ages, from pediatric to geriatric populations. This experience has strengthened my passion for pediatrics, but has also given me a new-found fondness for geriatrics. There is something so heart-warming about seeing two people who have spent their whole lives together support each other when they need help. “Dutchess” and “Bud” come to mind. These two patients came into the clinic one day to get a COVID test, and when I walked into the room, I could immediately feel the bond they shared, something you can’t get without spending 60 years together. It was very sweet to see the two make sure to remind each other about important parts of their medical history or forgotten medications. Seeing their eyes light up when they told me they were going to see their newborn grandchild made me care for them in a way I haven’t felt about a patient in a long time. “Dutchess” and “Bud” have opened my eyes to the charm of working with the geriatric population. They have shown me the beauty and complexity of growing old, the love of family, and they have helped me realize the true value of holistic patient assessment. They have illuminated the importance of easing the physical and mental burdens that passing time creates and the need to solve the problem of fragmented, impersonal healthcare.
To further support my community, I decided to volunteer my time to 7Cups, a remote organization that fosters an organization of trained listeners who offer support to their community. I knew that the COVID-19 pandemic had taken its toll on people’s mental health and emotional stability, and I wanted to do all that I could to help. As a volunteer, I continually advocated for members of the online community. I acted as a familiar source of contact that members could feel comfortable with when they needed help. Advocating for these people brought me joy and the fulfillment of knowing that I was truly making a difference in their lives during such trying times. Helping the members of the 7Cups community taught me that advocacy is a catalyst for rehabilitation. I want to be a physician assistant so that I can advocate for the voiceless and support the helpless and forgotten, just as I had done as a 7Cups volunteer.
The summation of my experiences in positions past and present has solidified my passion for healthcare. I believe that healthcare is not a privilege; it is an inalienable right, and it is with a drive to uphold this ideal that I work to become a physician assistant. My goal as a future PA is to not only offer my patients personalized, unmatched care, but to advocate for them within the healthcare community so they can lead lives unencumbered by health concerns. The COVID-19 pandemic has taught me that everyday is an opportunity for growth, empathy, and the pursuit of purpose. I know now, more than ever, that it is my purpose to treat patients as a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Mikayla,
I have no doubt that you are a bright spot for the people you serve, whether at the clinic or through 7Cups.
You are off to a good start. I would suggest highlighting the clinical skills you’ve gained at the clinic. Mention some of the specifics of your role there.
Also, you may want to describe an interaction you have witnessed between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that confirmed your decision to become a PA. If you have any formal shadowing experience also describe that.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need more help.
I wish you good luck, Mikayla.
Hiba Zouity says
“He’s about twenty kilograms” exclaimed the resident working in a community hospital in Casablanca, Morocco as she picked up the child and estimated his weight based on how heavy he felt. The sole doctor of the whole hospital that day dropped everything he was doing as the child began to complain of chest pains in the midst of getting his vitals checked. They quickly hook him up to a heart monitor in order to see what is going on and a STAT chest x-ray was ordered. While the doctor was dealing with this patient, another patient came in with blood dripping down their arms from a large laceration that he claimed getting from climbing over a fence lined with barbed wires.
The medical students noticed the doctor busy with the child and quickly ran to the new patient in order to aid him. Splitting up, each student fulfilled a different role as one ran to get the help of the only nurse on shift and the other ran to get supplies from the singular supply room in the whole hospital.
On my biyearly trip to Morocco to visit my entire family, I decided to utilize my time away from the states, to try and learn about my country of origin’s healthcare system. I picked up hours during the summer to volunteer at the local community hospital and the environment I was in was motivational. Watching these doctors, students, nurses, healthcare workers trying to provide their patients with as much care as possible without having a copious amount of technology was astounding. It makes one realize how grateful they should be when it comes to what they have. My homeland is a third world country and still doing whatever they could to provide medical help to those in need. Seeing this hospital under these circumstances was an eye-opener to how much we have that others do not.
My experience in that hospital in Morocco is what motivated me to gain as much experience as possible in the medical field and explore what healthcare had to offer. After spending the summer in Morocco, it sadly came to an end and I returned to Columbus where I began to volunteer at Mount Carmel St. Ann’s as a patient care volunteer. They began a new program at St.Ann’s deemed the Activity Cart Ambassadors and I wanted to be one of the first people to participate in doing what I can. In this program, I was able to go around and provide patients with anything that they could need that would easily be looked over such as small toiletries or activities to keep them busy during their stay. Furthermore, I was able to aid in non-clinical tasks, but that made me feel extremely limited. It was very frustrating telling a patient that you are unable to help them with a task that others would deem mundane such as assistance to the bathroom. This limitation allowed me to further progress and decide to attain an STNA certification in order to widen my scope of practice.
I began working in several nursing home facilities as an STNA and it was quite a rewarding career choice. Being able to build relationships with the residents at their most vulnerable states and help them out when they felt the most alone further verified my love for a career in healthcare. After spending several months in nursing homes, I was able to land a job as a PSA in the hospital in order to expand my knowledge. Being a PSA in the hospital has allowed me to work alongside all types of professionals such as PA’s, nurses, doctors, phlebotomists, etc giving me the opportunity to experience things that I would not have seen outside of there. My favorite aspect of working in the hospital is definitely working bedside and being able to interact with different individuals, learn their stories, and help them through their times of hardship.
Not only have I allotted my time to work in clinical settings, but throughout the years I have been volunteering in projects that are based on helping underserved communities whether that is through my local mosque or other institutions. One learns a lot when you get to sit down and actually talk to different individuals and hear out their problems. This validated my yearning to go out and give back as much as I can. As an individual who grew up in an underprivileged and underrepresented part of Columbus, I was used to going to free clinics and receiving the shorter end of treatment that others with better health insurance did not get. Even as a child, I would notice the difference in treatment when going to a clinic versus a larger corporation hospital. It felt as if the medical professionals that worked in these locations did not genuinely empathize with their patients and simply viewed them as tasks that needed to be done that day.
Through my jobs in healthcare, I was able to give people the treatment that I did not receive in healthcare growing up. An additional five minutes spent in a patient’s room could make their stay much more pleasurable. During my hourly rounding at the hospital, I notice a patient sitting in her dark, cold room crying. As I sit down and try to calm her down, I come to find out that her best friend of twenty years has just passed away and she will not be able to attend her funeral due to her open heart surgery scheduled the next day. The extra ten minutes that I took to sit in her room and talk to her as an individual and not simply a patient allowed her to calm down and even put a sad, but small smile on her face.
Battling the challenges that come with being a first generation Muslim-American attending college and learning how to manage time caused numerous setbacks for me throughout my educational career. I was completely unaware of the pace of college or how to manage schoolwork or even adequate and efficient study methods. I started off my college career getting a couple of low grades which dropped my GPA significantly leaving me working ten times harder to raise it. No one in my family has attended an American college leaving me to figure out the American college system on my own. I had to figure out how to maintain a work life, school life, and even helping out with taking care of my siblings leaving me with issues and inability to focus properly on my studies. However, as I progressed through college, I was able to learn how to manage my time properly which allowed me to balance having a full time job and being a full time student.
By working at a hospital and skilled nursing facilities, I was able to witness a PA do whatever they can to ensure that a dying patient was able to be as comfortable as possible through their debilitating conditions and staying later than they had to stay to make sure that they had everything that they needed. Moreover, watching a PA stay the additional time to lacerate a suture and pull out pacemaker wires while maintaining reassuring communication with a distressed patient motivates me to work hard and desire to be in their shoes in order to go out and help people. The versatility in specialties and wide scope of practice that physician assistants have is what drives me to work even harder to get to this position and not feel as limited in my scope through previous jobs.
A goal of helping the medically underserved has developed throughout my upbringing and being on the end of those not receiving adequate care. Unequivocally, I feel at is my responsibility to pass it on and give out as much aid as possible in primary care through such a gratifying career choice such as a PA. I am an exceptional candidate due to my commitment to the physician assistant profession, experience in bilingual patient care and I am confident I will succeed in your program due to my dedication to continuing my goals and overcoming any obstacles thrown my way. Upon completion of a physician assistant program, I will be the first in my Moroccan family to enter the medical field and obtain a graduate’s degree. This will allow me to go back to Morocco and help give back to my homeland.
Whitney Prosperi says
Hiba,
You paint vivid pictures with your writing and do a great job of showing your desire to personally help patients.
I also think you do a good job of describing the interactions you’ve witnessed from PAs and showing how this has confirmed your decision.
You may want to soften your language regarding healthcare providers at big corporate hospitals so it doesn’t appear you are being critical. It is best to stay positive in a personal statement.
I would also highlight any clinical skills you have gained through your experience.
I think you did a great job of addressing your grade issues. You explained what happened and how the lessons you learned will help you flourish in the future.
Good luck to you!
Hiba Zouity says
Thank you so much Whitney!!!
Jas says
I was awakened by screams. At first, I thought it was just another dysfunctional moment between my parents. But then I heard “Oh God please help him,” that’s when I literally jumped down the stairs three by three to get to the living room. There, I found my dad on the floor, eyes rolling back into his head, foaming from the mouth, and shaking uncontrollably. Everything within me froze, I was scared; however, my body was still in motion. I went to his head and slipped a pillow underneath, grabbed his head to keep it steady, and calmly told my frightened mom to dial 911. I was 15 years old when this happened, but the moment is still vivid in my mind. My mother hysterical, my father helpless, and myself desperate to help. It was this moment that sparked my desire to need to help others who were ill the way that I helped my dad.
I started in the medical field shadowing a family practitioner in my community while in high school. My junior year, I was privileged to attend the Governor’s School for Medicine and Health Sciences at Virginia Commonwealth University, where I had the pleasure of shadowing a neonatologist and a physician assistant. Much of my shadowing revolved around the physician assistant due to their increased patient interactions and I am grateful that it did. I watched her listen, evaluate, conversate, prescribe and educate those in need, including me. That was when I decided to pursue a career as a physician assistant. A career in which I could work autonomously and alongside others while achieving a common goal, building relationships, assessing patients, providing preventative care, educating, making diagnoses, and treating the whole patient.
With a plan to be pre-med, I started my collegiate journey at Old Dominion University, with a major in chemistry and minor in human services. I took a variety of classes to challenge my intellect and interpersonal skills. In addition to my studies, I worked part time, was a member of the Honor Society, and completed computational research under the direction of Professor Craig Bayse, as a NASA Space Grant Consortium recipient, with which I co-published two journal articles. However, my senior year of college had to get legal custody of my younger brother Jasper. Having to now care for him, I couldn’t risk not being available to him during his transition or contributing to the household financially. It took a few years for me to dust off my dream, but when I did it took me to the Sentara College of Health Sciences Non-invasive Peripheral Vascular Technologist Program.
Here I participated in the Student Association for Allied Health, volunteered, and completed over 650 hours of clinical work. I graduated and ran head first into my career as a new Registered Vascular Technologist (RVT). It was in this field that I realized why my dream for becoming a physician assistant never died and how my personal traits, skills, strengths, and tenacity were paralleled with the profession. For 3 years, while I worked with an amazing team of sonographers, 90% of my work was done autonomously. I did not diagnose the patients, but my exam findings were critical in deciding the next step in their treatment and could send them to the emergency room or operating room with one phone call. While this could be stressful, it meant that attention to detail, critical thinking, confidence, and strong interpersonal skills were at the forefront of my daily duties. Working shifts would vary, but call was a must. While being called in at 2 am is not fun, it can be necessary as was the case for Mr. Brown.
Mr. Brown was a 57 year old thin, witty, and blunt African American man. My first interaction with him was at 3am in the morning. When I knocked on the door he was sitting upright in the bed and before I could speak his response was, “What took you so long?”. He didn’t know that I wasn’t at the hospital and had to take a 30 minute drive just to get to him. I smiled and responded with, “They just sent out the bat signal and I arrived for you as quickly as the bat mobile allowed.” This made him laugh and put him at ease. Mr. Brown was a cancer patient with congestive heart failure, renal disease, hypertension, hyperlipidemia, and a few other issues. He was experiencing some unilateral leg swelling and pain that was severely uncomfortable. I was there to assess his leg for deep venous thrombosis. I explained the procedure to Mr. Brown, rearranged the room, and rolled my machine in. In conversation I asked him a few standard questions. His answers piqued my interest, what he was describing was claudication, a sign of possible arterial insufficiency. I completed my exam not only to find that he was positive for deep venous thrombosis, but he was also experiencing arterial compromise. While this was an incidental finding, I knew that the physician assistant would need to know how extensive the clot was. In addition, I asked the physician assistant to order a secondary exam to fully assess the arterial system. These clots were severely limiting the blood flow to his lower extremity. I suggested the physician assistant page the vascular surgeon, this was a critical finding and timing was everything to save Mr. Brown’s leg.
Unfortunately, this was my first and last encounter with Mr. Brown. I couldn’t help but wonder what happened with him. The care that came after the ultrasound was out of the scope of my practice. But, I knew that it didn’t have to be. I started to shadow our vascular Physician Assistant Michael more closely. Enabling myself to not only get a glimpse of the workload, patient interactions, and tasks that he did daily, but to also immerse myself more deeply into his daily duties and the treatment of our patients. I was able to now complete the vascular studies, write the report, give results, watch him relay the results, and give the patients options for continued prevention or treatment. This was invigorating, eye opening, and motivating. However, the best feeling of all was the sense of witnessing complete care of a patient. I didn’t have to wonder what happened, I knew and I felt more empowered than ever to become a physician assistant. In the words of William Feather, “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” And the truth is, no matter the people I have encountered, the obstacles I have faced, the hardships I have endured, the detours I have taken, or the sacrifices I have made, I continued to hang on to my dream. But this time, I plan on making it a reality.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jas,
You are off to a good start! Your introduction immediately grabs the reader’s attention and shows your ability to think clearly in a crisis.
You also do a good job of explaining your shadowing/work with PAs and how that has confirmed your decision.
Your story about Mr. Brown is also effective, showing your clinical expertise and personal skills.
I would suggest asking a trusted friend to proof your essay. You will also want to condense where you can throughout.
For your conclusion, you may want to tie back in some way to your introduction.
Good luck to you!
Sergio A says
Fought Draft of my personal statement
Throughout my life I have seen my mom work endlessly, at times managing three jobs at once, to provide for her four kids as a single mother. Despite committing an abundance of time away from home, she always managed to be present when we needed her the most. We pulled together as a family to help ease the burden on my mom during difficult times. Being her eldest child, I took on the responsibilities of watching over my younger siblings, exceeding academically, and either playing sports or maintaining a job. I kept myself in check, being confident that if I were to stay the course, our family would be well-off financially in the long-term. In the back of my mind the potential for disaster always loomed, given my parent’s legal status, in addition to her health as she aged. She took on a huge load practically on her own, experiencing chronic stress, but she overcame every challenge. Moving forward my goal will be to take care of my mom as a way to thank her for her dedication and self-sacrifice that she displayed for her kids.
I was shadowing at the University of Illinois at Chicago’s emergency room when a patient was brought in by the fire department. The patient was found living in the streets of Chicago during the frigid winter. According to the paramedic’s report, she had been sleeping on concrete for months. Her skin was cold to the touch, with various skin ulcers, discoloration, and swelling up and down her back and legs. The assigned nurse asked me to help bathe the patient before transferring her to a room. We rushed the patient to a shower, undressed her, and began delicately wiping her body with wipes, being cautious of her open wounds. What w struck me in the moment was the extent of how much she depended on us for a routine task like bathing. She wasn’t able to communicate much of her history with us either, being in an altered mental state. In my limited role, I was committed to ensuring that our patient was as comfortable as she could be. Although this was my first case with a patient, part of me wishes that I could’ve continued providing care. Encountering patients with similar circumstances became all too common as I continued working in the field.
I began working as an EMT-B in Chicago’s Illinois Medical District where we treated and transported patients from all walks of life. However, the bulk of our calls included minority groups, predominantly black and Hispanic, facing chronic illnesses, a deteriorating mental health, and battling COVID-19. Our patients rely on the emergency room for primary care as many of them could not afford health coverage, much less could maintain a stable job to provide for themselves. Even more alarming is the prevalence of homelessness in the patients I’ve encountered. During the winter season, the emergency room becomes a place of refuge for medical attention in addition to basic needs. Aside from providing medical services, a vital part of our role as EMTs is to genuinely listen to our patients’ problems. They have a great deal of trust in us, and are more than willing to open up about their past. We listen intently, giving them as much time as they need during our encounter in hopes that they feel relieved. Although most transports are short, I’ve used this opportunity to make our time a very pleasant experience. Communicating with patients on a personal level helps establish trust between both parties, which can paint a clearer picture of what services the patient is in need of.
Over time my perspective on patient care had developed to acknowledge why the health problem happened in the first place, rather than analyzing the case at face value. Socioeconomics is a strong determinant of an individual’s health. Impoverished patients have likely experienced chronic stress throughout the majority of their lives, their past medical history a byproduct of their environment. Poor health behaviors may be a result of high crime rates, poor educational performance and resources, lack of access to nutritious food options within their respective neighborhoods, and because they’re uninsured. Corrective habits, such as exercise and a healthy diet, may not be a luxury they can afford to spend time (or money) on, as juggling multiple jobs, or being jobless, seem to consume their livelihood. As a result, many patients from these communities may present with an extensive mental health history, chronic illness(es), or both. Without access to health care, along with not understanding the long-term consequences of their medical conditions, many individuals live with these illnesses and only seek medical attention at a time of an emergency
Whitney Prosperi says
Sergio,
I have no doubt that you exude compassion and acceptance when caring for patients.
I think it would be helpful to hear about the initial spark that drew you to medicine. Was it an early love for science/a personal experience?
Your mother sounds like an amazing woman who has worked tirelessly to provide you opportunities. This is a powerful section, but you may consider tightening it where you can.
If you have any shadowing experience (or work with) PAs, you will want to describe that. What did you observe that confirmed your desire to become a PA? You also may want to briefly describe an interaction between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician.
In your conclusion, I would tie back to your introduction in some way.
I’m not saying you need this, but we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you like more help.
Good luck to you, Sergio.
Maribel says
In the past 4 years, working as a medical assistant and scribe has allowed me to gain an extensive amount of knowledge and has allowed me to grow more as a medical professional. From learning, simple tasks such as vitalizing patients and documenting a chart to learning more extensive things such as assisting in a procedure and assisting in child physicals. I have had the opportunity to interact, engage and fully get to understand patients in depth. Many of the encounters I have had with patients have been life learning experiences that triggered my desire into wanting to further my education and become a physician assistant.
I remember grabbing a chart and looking at the patient’s age, he was a 21-year-old male. As I called his name and saw him walk towards me I saw his face pale and his lips dry. Of course, I was used to seeing people sick and not at their best since we dealt with people who were in pain or sick, but I was not used to seeing such a young person this sick. As I began vitalizing him I noticed his tongue white while taking his temperature, his blood pressure 178/160 and heart rate of 120 beats per minute. I then began asking his complaint and paid attention to when his symptoms began which were months. After I presented the case to the doctor and he examined the patient the doctor stated he needed to go to the ER that the patient was severely dehydrated and there was a possibility his kidneys were not functioning the way they should be. After the doctor stepped out I asked him why he had not seeked care if his symptoms had been persistent and for a while, he then answered “I do not have health insurance or the money to pay for anything”. He then followed up 1 week later after his ER visit and mentioned he needed to be referred to endocrinologist and a cardiologist however; he was concerned about not being able to afford it. I remember then mentioning I knew there was some specialty clinics that had programs that would help him cover majority of the cost. I remember working that day throughout lunch calling and faxing the patients information to get him in as soon as possible. This is when I came to realize the true meaning of what it is to provide a service for the underserved population, helping people who do not have health insurance by finding the resources they need that can cover health expenses.
Salinas is small city in which majority of the population are Hispanics; majority being immigrants from Mexico who work in the agricultural fields. Many of this people are like David who do not have any health care insurance and end up waiting to seek care until their symptoms have gradually worsen or when their disease has already advance. Working with this population group has been a true challenge because most of them do not speak English, do not know how to read or write, and do not have any health care. If a patient doesn’t know read or write how are they able to understand and know when to take medications and what each medication is for. There have been several occasions that I have had patients who do not read or write, when having to take daily medication for blood pressure I have drawn a heart to remind them the medication is for blood pressure and one star indicating they must take it once every day. Being part of this population motivated me even more to further my education and aspiration to become a PA because I want to give back to my community and continue to work with them. I strongly believe that as a PA not only will I be able to diagnose and treat patient but most importantly, I will be able to interact and understand each patient in depth since I understand the hardship of coming from a low socioeconomic background, I am fluent in both English and Spanish, but most important I have already worked years with this community that is very limited to medical resources. I want to be a provider who seeks all the necessary medical attention a patient needs whether it is being on the phone hours with programs that can cover medical expenses to calling specialty clinics that work with patients who do not have health insurance but qualify for care at a reduce cost. One of my main goals if I become a physician assistant will be to gather community hospitals and clinics to donate money for the community to start free health educational classes and programs that will cover costs of medications, labs, testing, and consults for people who do not have any type of health insurance.
I strongly believe that as a medical assistant and scribe I have built the foundation to become a physician assistant. I not only have the medical knowledge but most importantly I have years of experience working with patients and variety of doctors and physician assistant. Although I have work with various providers in a clinic and at a ER, I want to work in a facility that specializes in family practice. My reason being I want to work with all age groups from providing care to newborns to the elderly.
Whitney Prosperi says
Maribel,
You do a good job of showing your desire to make a difference in underserved communities.
I would condense where you can so that you can allow room to add a few more elements.
Add some more details about your clinical experience and medical knowledge where you can.
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, detail that. What about the interactions you witnessed (between PA/supervising physician or PA/patient) confirmed your desire to pursue the PA path?
If there was a moment that propelled you toward medicine you may want to mention that in your introduction.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck to you.
Emilie says
I would love some feedback on my essay! This is my first (very) rough draft and I know that I need to cut at least a couple things here and there, but not sure where to do so to have the most impact.
One of the most rewarding and formative experiences that I have had in my healthcare career came in my second year of college, when I spent a week in the Nicaraguan rainforest. A group of us including college students, physician assistants (PAs), and physicians had set up a makeshift clinic in the home of a local who was kind enough to offer their living space to us for an entire week. The disparities in access to healthcare were very apparent. Almost everyone that came through the clinic had to be treated for a parasitic infection. Many had swollen faces from going years without proper dental care. Most adults had cracked, damaged skin and spidery varicose veins from long days spent farming their land. Some of the patients who came to our clinic had walked for days to get to us and many had never received medical care in their lives. On our last day in the village, an old woman came up to me and tapped my shoulder. She took my hands in hers and held them to her heart with tears in her eyes as a smile spread across her wrinkled face. Neither of us spoke the other’s language, however her message to me was clear. From then on, I knew that my place in the world was as part of a team working to bring healthcare to underserved communities, just like this small rainforest village.
After graduating from college, I started working in the mental health field, where I met Susie. Susie had suffered from severe, treatment resistant depression and anxiety for most of her life. She had been coming in for daily transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) treatments with me for a few weeks with little progress. She always put on a smile and laughed with me while listening to comedy shows during her treatments, but one day she came in and immediately collapsed into tears. As I tried to comfort her, she told me that she felt like there was nothing left for her. No treatment had ever been able to give her relief, and she wanted to stop her daily TMS treatments.
I consulted our clinic psychiatrist and we both delved into researching any treatment that may be able to get Susie some relief. Together, we ended up finding a research study detailing a new treatment protocol using the same TMS technology, but in a way that would yield three times the efficacy of standard treatment, however this would not be covered by Susie’s insurance. I quickly looped in our COO to see if there was anything we could do for Susie. With the whole team’s help, we were able to place Susie on a low-cost payment plan for treatment with the new protocol. She started this treatment the next day, and within a couple of weeks she reported feeling like an entirely new woman. For the first time in years, she had the motivation to clean her apartment, see friends, and take up old hobbies again. A couple months later, when she was finishing her treatment course, Susie brought in two banana cupcakes for us to share. She cried again, but this time tears of joy and relief. After decades of depression, she finally felt like she had her life back. Susie taught me compassion, patience, perseverance, and how to be an advocate for my patients. Above all, Susie taught me to never see a diagnosis or a treatment as a dead end.
With the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, I felt an overwhelming need to do more. While I knew that the mental health field was still of extreme importance, perhaps even more so than ever, I felt that I had a skillset that could be utilized in a way that had more direct impact. I gained licensure as an EMT and transitioned to a role in a membership-based primary care office. Because this office operates on an affordable membership system and not insurance, I have been able to care for a wide variety of patients. Many of our members are unemployed, uninsured, and would not be able to access medical care otherwise. Others use us as a supplement to their insurance and a way to stay on top of their health. Through our clinic, they all have access to the same level of high-quality care. I have seen great diversity in this role, both in terms of patient population and in conditions being treated. Every day is different and I am constantly learning. I have learned to appreciate every single patient interaction I have, as I can always find a lesson. Some patients have taught me about the healthcare disparities they have experienced during their lives, others have given me words of wisdom, and one even taught me the power of Britney Spears music as a distraction technique during blood draws. Each lesson, no matter what it entails, reaffirms my choice to pursue the PA career.
The PA profession encompasses so many of the values that I believe are so integral to the healthcare system. Through lifelong learning, collaboration, and a commitment to underserved communities, PAs are a piece of the puzzle that allows people like Susie and the old woman I met in Nicaragua to have access to the care they need and deserve. My experiences as a volunteer in Nicaragua, in the mental health field, and now in primary care have solidified my goal to become a part of a team of providers that shares these same values.
Whitney Prosperi says
Emilie,
I can sense your desire to help patients woven throughout your essay.
I would suggest condensing where you can so you can allow room to add a few more elements to your essay.
I would highlight your clinical skills and medical experience where you can.
Also, describe what appeals to you about the PA profession. (desire for collaboration, more time for patient connection/relationships, ability to switch specialties)
I would also detail any shadowing experience you have. Describe any interactions between PA/supervising physician or PA/patient that confirmed your desire to become a PA.
I am not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you like more help.
I wish you good luck!
Julie says
My desire to become a physician assistant emerged from my interest in anatomy back in high school and the conceivable idea of working with patients one day. Throughout college I continued to pursue this career path, creating my own major solely geared toward the PA track. When I began working with patients, I truly discovered why I want to be a PA. The interactions I’ve experienced as a CNA and medical assistant revealed three qualities within myself that are essential to the PA role: my attention to detail, ability to provide individualized care, and natural tendency to work coherently with a team.
My attention to detail is one of my strongest traits and is rightfully known to be a celebrated quality in the medical field. I am meticulous with everything I do, following the correct steps and taking no shortcuts. I distinctly remember one of my first shifts as a CNA at Lahey Hospital where my thorough care was recognized by a patient. I had just finished bathing a woman who was recovering from a major surgery. I was draining the soapy water from the basin when she told me, “I’ve been here a week and you’re the only one that has taken the time to put powder under my breasts and remove my socks to wash my feet. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.” I was shocked at the time and reported this information to my manager. I knew that our department was constantly understaffed, but the hygiene and skincare of our patients is not something that should be compromised. As a PA, I will work efficiently when my time is scarce, but I will never skip steps to stay on schedule.
In addition to my diligence in treating patients, I have developed the ability to read a patient and adapt my approach accordingly. Recently, a patient, who was extremely nervous for her Mohs surgery, timidly walked into the room and stood there reluctantly with her jacket on. I introduced myself and asked if this was her first time having the procedure. In response, she nodded and confessed her terror. I offered to hang her jacket, guided her to the exam chair, and retrieved a blanket. Instead of immediately inputting notes into the computer, I faced her and explained why the procedure was recommended, what it would entail, and what to expect with the healing process. I informed her that the lesion she has on her cheek is a squamous cell carcinoma in situ, and that “in situ” means the cancer is in the beginning stages. I answered any questions she had before obtaining consent. I warned that the numbing will sting momentarily but she won’t feel any pain during the procedure. She closed her eyes and said, “go ahead.” To minimize pain, I injected the lidocaine slowly, giving the nerve endings time to accommodate, and performed tactile distraction by tapping a finger on the skin adjacent to the injection site. I simultaneously informed her that the “numbing medicine” contains epinephrine, which is necessary to aid with blood vessel constriction but can make patients feel a little shaky. When I finished she told me I did a great job and she barely felt a thing.
This approach is different from the one I took with the next patient, a man who comes in every month with a new skin cancer. With him, the time spent explaining the procedure in great detail was replaced with casual conversation. I’ve learned not to robotically follow the same routine with each patient. Instead, I enter the patient’s world and act appropriately. When practicing as a PA, I will do my best to connect with each patient, have empathy, and provide them with comfort in addition to medical treatment.
Lastly, I am attracted to the PA role because of the emphasis on collaboration. When working as a CNA, my responsibility of reporting vital signs, behavior changes, I&O values, etc. gave me a taste of the joint effort crucial to healthcare. At the start of each shift, I made my rounds to obtain the vitals of each patient. One morning, my prompt communication with a nurse prevented what could have been a bad fall. After taking my patient’s blood pressure twice, I informed the nurse that the systolic pressure was a low 90. The patient said he felt fine and refused to lay down. The nurse thanked me and promised she would keep a close eye on him. I positioned his call button within reach and moved on to the next patient. Moments after I left the room, the patient’s call light flashed. The nurse was already on her way and was able to catch him before he fainted out of his chair. This experience opened my eyes to the value of fluid communication between every link in the healthcare chain. Not only will I be a reliable link as a PA, but I will lead a team where communication is welcomed.
Overall, my experiences in patient care have reinforced my long-standing belief that I am destined to be a PA. I have established that I will thrive as a PA by exuding attention to detail, empathy, and teamwork. I am motivated to persist through a rigorous program and eager to begin the process.
Whitney Prosperi says
Julie,
You do a good job showing your ability to connect with patients, perceive their needs, and adjust in the moment. The story about the patient’s Mohs surgery was very strong, showing your clinical experience and compassion.
In your introduction, you mention your early love for anatomy. Is there a way you could illustrate this? Was there a habit you had as a child that would reveal your early interest in medicine? If so, add that in a sentence or two to your introduction.
I would also add a paragraph that details your shadowing experience. What did you learn from observing interactions between patient/PA or supervising physician/PA? How did this confirm your desire to pursue the PA profession?
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck, Julie.
Tori says
I have always had a strong connection to music; from the words, to the rhythm, to the beat. Every song opens up a new perspective, tells a story, and invites me into another person’s life. My connection to music manifested into me becoming a radio DJ in high school where, even though I struggled with acne, I could broadcast to my invisible audience with rare moments of confidence. When I was on air, there was no worry about my appearance. Despite this, a trip to the dermatologist was overdue. The dermatology physician assistant that saw me assessed my skin and devised a plan to eliminate my biggest insecurity. Using the prescribed medications and her advice, I took my confidence from behind a mic to out in person. Before her, I had never heard of a PA, and that awakened a new fascination in medicine. I began a search to find where I belonged in the medical field and found the answer in similar insecurities.
I first witnessed CPR while working as a clinical research assistant in the ER. The trauma room was chaotic, but the people were not. I admired the medical team’s ability to work fast, yet effectively. There was an unspoken rhythm and beat keeping everyone paced and synchronized. I vividly recall the ponytail of the woman doing CPR swinging like a metronome. I, however, was sweaty and trembling. Too scared to move and too afraid that my hyperventilation would personally steal air from the patient’s lungs. Leaving that room, I felt ashamed of my fear. I was striving towards a medical career but shied away from an opportunity to make a difference. Despite this, I still admired the team trying to save a life. Their ability to work collaboratively and rely on each other inspired my pursuit to become a PA. I wanted to confront my feelings of frozen fear. PAs maintain the ability to step into high intensity situations, and assume the role of a team member without question. Moving forward, I knew in order fit the role, I had to immerse myself in what it meant to be a PA.
One summer during undergraduate, I shadowed a PA at a rheumatology clinic. I saw how the presence of PAs allowed the clinic to see and treat more patients without sacrificing the quality of their care. While working in harmony with the doctors, the PAs were able to find the best plan for every patient they saw. Using their combined experiences, they could evaluate each person carefully, considering all possible medical and personal implications of the treatment plan. The utilization of PAs can have a similar impact on communities in need for strong pillars of healthcare. There is an absence of preventive medicine in high need areas. The dissonance between patient needs and healthcare capabilities is a strong indication that being a PA is right for me. As it stands, I cannot help these patients in the capacity that I want to because of my current scope of care. Becoming a PA would put me in a position where I can give more comprehensive and personalized care to those most in need.
During my angsty teen years, I only listened to punk rock. I resonated with the emotions that came with the territory. But as I grew, I found an appreciation in the rhythm from R&B, the intensity in a good rap song, and even the catchy chorus of a pop song. I gained an appreciation for genres outside of my favorites, and with that, came better understandings of different viewpoints. Likewise, healthcare providers must learn to appreciate the unique perspectives of patients by listening to them. Every patient communicates differently, and I have found myself appreciating each person’s idiosyncrasies by taking the time to understand their concerns. The PA profession facilitates this understanding by their high interaction with patients on a daily basis. Allowing for close and impactful patient relationships, much like the one I experienced.
Eventually, I found myself working as an ED tech in the same hospital I first witnessed CPR years earlier. Although the hospital looked a little different due to COVID regulations, the chaotic energy felt more familiar than it once had. One shift, the nurses went to check on a critical patient only to find he was in asystole. A nurse started compressions and issued a code blue throughout the department. Our small module became a flooded ensemble of doctors, nurses, pharmacists, and respiratory therapists. As soon as the nurse who started compressions got tired, I hopped in without hesitation. This time, I found myself involved in the medical code I was immersed in. My fear faded behind the desire to provide for this person in distress, and even though the fear was still faintly there, it did not paralyze me. Instead, it drove me to continue moving forward to care for this patient. Although our patient did not make it, I knew I had developed the confidence it took to take the next step to become a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Tori,
You do a good job of showing growth in your confidence level through the story about your full-circle moment when you jumped in to perform CPR.
I would condense where you can throughout your essay so you have more room to describe your work experience and clinical skills.
Also, I suggest adding a patient care story that shows you in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient. You do a good job of explaining the role of the PA to accept and listen to patients. I would tell a story that reveals you doing that. You want to show yourself interacting with a patient who motivated you to increase your scope of practice so you can do more for patients.
Also, explain more of what makes you a good fit for the PA profession.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need more help.
Good luck to you.
Miranda Zielinski says
My mother is no longer allowed to eat crêpes. I had just celebrated passing my EMT-basic exam when we sat down for a family dinner; little did I know I was about to put those newly acquired skills to use. I don’t remember feeling scared, nor do I remember rising from my chair and crossing the room. What has persisted in my memory was the immediate urgency to act when I saw my mother stand up and clutch her throat. To this day, rushing to her side and performing the two abdominal thrusts that dislodged the French patisserie still remain a blur, but the ensuing sense of confidence to perform under pressure has remained with me, undiminished, to this day.
My start in medicine emerged long before that day. A deep curiosity in what lay under the skin and how it worked developed in my teenage years and became apparent when I begged my doctor to let me stay awake to watch my foot surgery. Despite my compelling arguments, it was met with a resounding no. My hopes were dashed that day, but it only intensified my quest to learn everything I could about the human body. After several years and several failed attempts to find my place in the field of medicine, my journey veered in an unexpected direction: I left school and enlisted in the United States Navy as a nuclear electrician’s mate.
It was not long after boot camp that I realized I had made a wrong turn. My path had led me to arguably the least human entity in existence: machines. In spite of their 600 degree core temperatures, machines are cold and impersonal. Much of my job consisted of staring at a dismal, floor-to-ceiling panel covered in blinking lights and switches, monitoring dozens of parameters for hours on end. I was miserable. That is, until I discovered an unlikely crossover between nuclear physics and medicine that changed my perspective entirely and provided me with the career path I was searching for. I realized the parameters I monitored were akin to the vital signs of a human being and much like a physician assistant (PA) would, I had to recognize when these values were askew, determine the underlying cause, and take appropriate actions. I treated the plant as though it were my patient and thus the drills we ran everyday were no longer casualties, they were diseases to diagnose. The puzzle itself never changed, but the lens through which I viewed it had evolved and instilled a sense of confidence in myself that I was capable of the analytical insight required to be a proficient PA.
My experience in the Navy and in healthcare has taught me that the smallest details have the potential to make the biggest difference. Just as noticing a slight change in the steam generator water level can preclude nuclear catastrophe, detecting a slight change in breathing can allow you to alert the nurses that your three month old patient is about to experience respiratory distress. Seeing the face of our ‘non-verbal’ patient light up after recognizing and responding to his sign language. Greeting the parent who’s been up all night with their sick child with a coffee made just the way they like it can give them a brief moment of tranquility. Moments such as these have convinced me that paying attention to the little details is the foundation of comprehensive medical treatment, to care about the details is to care about the patient as a whole, not just their diagnosis.
My job as a care partner at the children’s hospital has allowed me to observe and assist PA’s on a regular basis. It is here that I witnessed the qualities that exemplify an astounding healthcare provider. There is one experience in particular that will remain with me forever. I was asked to assist the surgical PAs with a dressing change on a child with burns covering 60% of his body. They began after taking the time to coach both the scared six year old and his anxious mother of what to expect. I watched in utter admiration as they worked quickly, with a fluid cooperation; hardly any words were spoken yet each completely in sync. Throughout the entire process they displayed tremendous technical skill and compassion. I walked away from that encounter feeling privileged to have been involved, albeit in a minor capacity, and all the more determined to do whatever it took to one day join their ranks.
Human beings, much like nuclear reactors, are complex. Both demand extensive technical knowledge before one can be entrusted to tend to them, but unique to people is the requirement to go beyond the technical and merge it with a sense of empathy. I want to become a PA because it is a career that fuels my longstanding curiosity for the human body while feeding my appetence for puzzles and the providing an outlet for meaningful interaction. My road to the PA profession has not been direct; a series of dead ends and unexpected deviations have led me to the career that will provide me with satisfaction in my professional life and the skills to effectively tackle any situation I am confronted with, crêpes included.
Whitney Prosperi says
Miranda,
Your introduction is strong, showing your ability to react quickly.
You also do a good job of describing your developing interest in medicine. (How amazing that you wanted to stay awake for surgery!)
I would suggest condensing where you can throughout your essay.
Also, add some details that spotlight your clinical skills. You may want to also describe more of what appeals to you about the PA profession. (ability to switch specialties, desire for collaboration, more time for patient interaction/connection)
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, describe that. What about the PA/patient interaction or PA/supervising physician interaction confirmed your desire to become a PA?
Good luck to you, Miranda.
Miranda Zielinski says
Thank you for the feedback!
Samantha Wong says
My dermatologist shines a bright light on my face that makes me cower in fear, fighting the urge to turn my head so that she does not see the red angry bumps all over my face. Acne. Although only four letters, this word held such a weight on my shoulders for years. I couldn’t look at people, not wanting to make myself heard for fear of people seeing my face. It was not until my dermatologist changed my life around. Now this seems dramatic, but to a middle schooler, wanting to fit in was the most important thing. She looked at my face without judgement and guided me throughout my journey to clear skin for years. Because of her, I could look people in the eye and be confident, all things that helped me get to where I am today. I realized that I wanted to be just like my dermatologist, who is able to change people’s lives in big and small ways, whether it is finding a precancerous mole or curing acne. As it turns out, she is a physician assistant. And so, my interest in becoming a PA was ignited.
I always knew since senior year of highschool that I wanted to pursue a career in medicine. This was affirmed in college. In 2017, I went on a volunteer trip to Haiti, where I helped run clinics. One day, we came across a boy. We checked his vitals and discovered a heart murmur. Back then, there were only around three EKGs in the country. With our program, we had one on hand and were able to find out more about the boy’s heart. It’s times like these where I am aware of the lack of healthcare equipment and lack of access to health facilities in parts of the world, and even in our own community. As a PA, I hope to close the gap between these disparities and provide for those in underserved communities who need medical attention.
To learn more about being a PA, I shadowed one during college when I took a medical scribe class. A patient came in who cut his eyelid after falling. Him and his wife had to go to a wedding that same day, and I watched as the PA provided them comfort and stitched up the cut. I also observed how another PA was an essential part of a team, collaborating with the attending, residents, and medical students as they did morning rounds on the trauma floor. She provided input on each patient and updated the team on the patient’s status and care. I am very curious about different fields, so the flexibility in specialties that a PA is given is enticing to me. It is fascinating how PAs can work independently but also join forces with others to provide high quality and personalized care.
After college, I started working as an ophthalmic technician. I learned how to do many things, like navigating machines and dilating eyes. I discovered relevant traits that are needed for PA school, such as prioritizing and decision making. Most importantly, I learned how valuable patient interaction is. Our patients range from 6-100 years old, so I have experience dealing with people of all kinds. I am patient, efficient, and adaptive so that patient flow is smooth. Trust is vital in a provider-patient interaction. Many are scared to have anything go near their eyes, so I communicate with them so that trust is instilled. During a pandemic, there are patients that are scared, so it is my job to make them feel comfortable. Moreover, patients come back frequently due to eye conditions, ranging from an infection to glaucoma. I love that we recognize each other and I can learn their life stories and serve them well during their eye-care journey. Patients may come in because of vision changes, and we suddenly discover that they have a retinal detachment from a picture that I took of their eye. Being part of these situations further affirms my desire to become a PA, so that I could help catch a condition before it becomes worse.
During college, I have shown consistency in academics and as a student. I’ve maintained good grades and reached out for help when needed to achieve success in the classroom. In addition, being a leader in my cultural organization has taught me how to take initiative, form plans, and carry them out. As a technician, I learned to connect with patients, adapt, and show compassion. Because of my time in Haiti and as a minority race myself, it is vital to me to provide for those who are not well represented in healthcare. Asians are also an underrepresented race in the PA profession, so I hope to set an example that we are capable of leaving a positive impact in medicine. I want to go to PA school to eventually give back to my family and my community who do so much for me. Being Filipino and Chinese, both of my cultures focus heavily on hospitality and respect. I want to use these values that I grew up with to look after my parents when they get old, and to be able to help others. Becoming a PA is difficult, but rewarding. PAs work hard to put their name and presence out into the world, and I hope to be part of that. They inspire me to put all my effort into becoming the best student and provider that I can be.
Whitney Prosperi says
Samantha,
You do a good job of showing your motivations for pursuing the PA path.
Your section that describes your work as an ophthalmic technician is strong, showing your ability to connect with patients while providing clinical care.
I also think your description about your trip to Haiti is effective. You may want to even add a little more detail about your interaction with the young boy to show your ability to connect with patients on a personal level.
I would suggest condensing where you can. Also, high school is two words. 🙂
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. Good luck to you, Samantha.
Kayla says
Blood curdling screams. That is what I awoke to one morning when I was in 8th grade. My mother was screaming and crying; I ran to her room.“Mom, what’s wrong?” All she said to me was “Amy!” My father came in the room and told me that my cousin, Amy, had been in a serious car accident and they didn’t know if she was going to survive. Without realizing, she was in the backseat of a drunk driver’s car. The car swerved off the road down an embankment, flipping the car several times before hitting a tree. She was extracted from the car using the ‘jaws of life’ before being rushed to the hospital.
Amy suffered blunt force trauma to the head. I will never forget what it was like seeing pictures of her head open to relieve the intracranial pressure on her brain. Amy was unconscious for a week, and when she finally came to, her brain damage was so bad that she couldn’t talk or move. Eventually, with rehabilitation she got better and is now fully functioning.
Her story inspired me at a young age to pursue a career in the medical field. As a senior in high school, I decided to pursue a physical therapy degree and was accepted into Ithaca College’s accelerated DPT program, with minors in psychology and neuroscience. In my neuroscience courses, I learned about brain diseases, disorders, and surgeries which piqued my interest in diagnosing patients more so than rehabilitating patients.
In my human anatomy course senior year, I had the opportunity to dissect a cadaver; an 89 year old woman who had passed from Alzheimers. When it came time for the first cut of my scalpel, it was the most exhilarating feeling that I could ever imagine. During this experience, I was able to learn about different diseases and diagnoses, not only of the brain, but the whole body. I saw liver tumors, hip and knee replacements, and lungs that had been diagnosed with lung cancer. A part of me questioned if the path that I had chosen to become a PT was the right fit.
To assure myself that PT was in fact the right decision for me, I got a job as a physical therapy aide where I met Anthony, a physician assistant (PA) student. Every chance we got, Anthony and I would talk about the PA profession and I became increasingly intrigued. He told me that there were opportunities in several different specialties including surgery. Everything he was telling me about the profession made the butterflies in my belly fly faster and faster. I knew that this is what I felt like I was missing and why I felt as though PT didn’t really fit me.
One of the patients at the clinic was an older woman in her 70s who had hydrocephalus, treated with a shunt in her brain. I loved talking to her about her shunt because it was exactly what I had learned about in my neuroscience courses. One day, however, she came to therapy and was not herself. She was nauseous, sweating, had a headache, and was unable to perform her therapeutic exercises. Her therapist quickly called 911 and I watched as EMS put her on a stretcher and brought her to the hospital. I was standing there, watching helplessly, realizing I didn’t want to be the one calling 911, but I wanted to be the one in the hospital that was helping her. The PA profession intrigued me more and I decided to do my research.
I attended several virtual physician assistant shadowing sessions, including a majority of PAs who specialized in neurology. I intently listened as they described assisting neurosurgeons by taking a detailed history, performing exams, ordering special tests, and even closing the wounds at the end of surgical procedures. As I listened to this, my excitement skyrocketed. Knowing I couldn’t solely focus on neurology, I attended more and more virtual shadowing opportunities for various specialties and it opened my eyes to the PA profession, making me realize that this was my calling.
While I don’t have many shadowing hours, I know that PA is the right profession for me. Although physical therapy is a great profession, I just know it is not the right path for me in my overall goal of improving the lives of the people around me. I don’t look at the four years I have spent studying PT as a waste, but instead as a door. The PA profession includes teamwork with colleagues as well as other medical professionals, such as physical therapists. I know I will be great at collaborating with PTs because I was in their shoes, making me a better team player. In addition to working with professionals, taking doctorate level classes has prepared me for the rigorous coursework associated with PA schooling. I have been taking graduate level courses for about a year and a half now and have continued to maintain my 3.7 GPA and receive dean’s list for all three semesters, assuring me that I will succeed in PA school. In school and in the field, I know I will be a great asset to the physician assistant profession.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kayla,
You do a good job of describing how you landed on the PA path.
The story about your cousin’s resiliency is a strong introduction. It immediately captures the reader’s attention and shows your early interest in medicine.
In your conclusion I would tie back to your intro in some way.
I suggest discussing less of why you are steering away from PT and more about why the PA field is a good fit for you.
Also, can you elaborate some on your story with the patient who had the shunt? Show yourself in action caring for her, connecting with her on a personal level. You want to spotlight your clinical as well as relational skills.
I think you are wise to mention your desire to collaborate with a medical team as this is such an integral part of the PA’s role.
Good luck to you.
Clair says
One look at his face and I know something is wrong. He’s having another seizure; a febrile seizure to be exact. My first time witnessing it, the smile I once wore quickly fades. I’ll never forget my brother’s small body jerking uncontrollably for what felt like hours. What was meant to be a fun mall trip turned into a restless day at the hospital. We’re taking good care of him they said. Though my nine-year-old self couldn’t comprehend the situation at hand, I knew the people at the hospital played an important role in keeping my brother alive, fostering my appreciation for those working in medicine.
It’s January 12, 2010. There is breaking news headlines: a massive earthquake strikes Haiti, the strongest in 200 years. My homeland in ruins; the image of the dead and injured is displayed before me. I feel helpless. I read that teams of medical providers are flying in to care for the injured. What I would give to be at the scene to assist alongside these health respondents. At the time, I had two career interests: education or medicine. In my heart, I knew the medical route would give me many opportunities to serve with other healthcare professionals in not only Haiti, but in other medically underserved countries. Thus, my desire to work with communities that are underserved with health disparities in medicine truly began.
Through extensive research and virtual shadowing, PA piqued my interest due to the flexibility and lateral mobility of the profession. Following my path to obtain patient care experience, the nurse is giving me a rundown of my new patient: Gilberto has Alzheimer’s and speaks Spanish with little understanding of English. This is my second patient as a patient care assistant and many questions are running through my mind, one being am I capable of doing this. Communication is key for a provider to alleviate any misunderstanding with patients. Aware of this, I made sure to teach myself words in Spanish as means of breaking down the language barrier. I know firsthand the difficulties of someone not understanding your needs because of the language you speak.
My knowledge of what it entails to care for special patients continue to expand while working with those who have dementia related diseases. Agitated, Joe tells me he’s in a nursing room and wants to leave. He is at home but to ease his mind, I go along with what his late stage of Alzheimer’s has caused him to believe. In hopes of remembrance, I ask Joe about his life and where he lives. He starts talking about his beloved truck and I smile, encouraging him to continue. It’s something. I recognized that caring for someone who suffers from disease/disability requires greater patience. As with the PA profession, I am continuously learning new information that aid in my growth in becoming a better provider. I am capable.
I long to learn more about the complexity of the human body and be equipped at diagnostic decision making. “I have to learn how to live with this pain” Hands on her back, Addy can barely walk. Every few minutes a sharp sting ripples through her arm, back, and leg. The pain is never ending. My heart hurts for her; I want to help her, but what can I do? With multiple encounters like this one, I am aware of my limitations as a PCA and yearn to do more. My patients tell me “you’re too good to me” “you don’t know how much I’ve missed you” “what would I do without you”. Hearing this, I know my purpose in providing effective care does not go in vain. It fuels my determination to be a PA.
She’s talking but her wounded skin is crying out for help. Her body is covered with third degree burns. As I listen to her journey as a refugee, I stop writing the visit report. I can’t help but hold her hand lightly to give her the assurance that she’s no longer alone. She’s seeking a referral for surgery, but she lacks access to medical care. As a volunteer with Medical Volunteer International while studying abroad in Greece, I had the opportunity to learn and observe how doctors from different backgrounds practice their skills and treat an underprivileged population. Whether it was writing a report, translating for refugees who spoke French, conversing with children to distract them from needles, or giving my opinion on a diagnosis, I was part of the team. The collaboration of the team lends a hand to each patient receiving the best care possible. I look forward to when I can volunteer with MVI as a PA: working collaboratively with others, taking the time for each patient, and not treating them as less than.
The culmination of personal, healthcare, and volunteer experience has given me the affirmation that my desire to become a PA is my calling. It is so much more than forming plans to solve medical concerns. It is about creating a safe space for patients to be heard and providing protection to the vulnerable and those feeling helpless. When I am a PA, I will be an advocate while serving my patients and telling their loved ones we’re taking good care of them.
Whitney Prosperi says
Clair,
I can sense your desire to make a difference woven throughout your essay. You do a good job of showing your ability to connect with people and your ambition to work with underserved patients.
I would suggest highlighting your clinical skills and patient care experience where you can throughout your essay. (You can weave this into those patient care encounters you share.)
I would also elaborate on your virtual shadowing experience. What did you witness in the interactions between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that confirmed your desire to pursue the PA path?
If you have a trusted friend who can look over your grammar, etc. do that.
I’m not saying you need this, but we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need further help.
Good luck to you on your journey, Clair.
Emily Holland says
As a health sciences major, my university also provided a class that analyzed different healthcare careers in depth, which allowed me to make an informed decision on why to become a physician assistant. After also taking several classes learning about the healthcare system as well as having my own struggles finding care, I realized that becoming a physician assistant would not only benefit myself, but I could be a part of a much larger mission to solve the US healthcare crisis.
Working as a licensed nursing assistant solidified that the medical field is where I belonged. It also solidified that I wanted to further my education, as I always wish that I could do more for my patients than my license would allow. I find myself picking up extra shifts, working multiple jobs, chomping at the bit to take advantage of every source of experience I can get. Since becoming a CNA I have found a passion in healthcare that I had not felt for anything before. This is also why I have enrolled for EMT classes for my senior year to get the opportunity to see another part of healthcare. Juggling two plus jobs, volunteering, top tier division two lacrosse, and still trying to remain a normal college student has not been easy, but I remain steadfast in my efforts knowing that one day it will pay off.
My first job working in a nursing home I formed close relationships with the residents, got comfortable taking care of people who once were complete strangers, talking to family members, and firsthand saw the impact I could make on someone’s day. Working on a coronavirus unit during my first hospital job introduced me to the difficulties of working in healthcare. I had experienced death in the nursing homes, but in most circumstances, it was peaceful. This time it was different, and nothing opened my eyes like witnessing the life slip away from patients younger than my own parents. I was willing to make the sacrifices necessary to ensure that my patients, whether coronavirus positive or not, were safe as well as sacrifices to ensure my own family’s safety during the pandemic. In a nursing home, a patients passing was usually expected and peaceful, but this opened my eyes to the emotional difficulties of working in healthcare.
I do not wish to enter healthcare with an idealized version of what physician assistant does, but with my eyes wide open to the immeasurable joys, challenges, and (dare I say it) sorrows of the profession. The doctors, nurses, and PA’s I have worked with have been generous in in letting me sit in on patient care, watch IV’s be put in, NG tubes taken out, while explaining why certain measures were taken. Although I have not formally been able to job shadow PA’s due to coronavirus, I have spoken to and gone into mutual patients’ rooms with PA’s while working on the medsurg floor as a nursing assistant. While doing research and watching YouTube videos of PA’s has been beneficial, being in person talking to a pa has allowed me to see the pros and cons of the job and really understand what it is like on a daily basis. I have also begun to sit in on virtual shadowing classes. Having worked in several different aspects of healthcare, long-term, ambulatory, and inpatient, I have come to learn the differences in each. I have found different aspects of each that I like, which is one reason why the PA profession appeals to me as they have the ability to change specialties. After living through the COVID-19 pandemic, having the ability to perform in different specialties is not only beneficial in terms of job security but also for public health needs.
When first deciding to enter a career in the healthcare field, I stayed open minded to the possibilities for what I could become. For me, deciding to pursue a career as a physician assistant is more than because it fits my future goals, but I believe that becoming a physician assistant is my small part in aiming to help the crisis that the healthcare system is currently in. I believe I have a sound understanding of what the profession involves, including the hard work, the diligence, the compassion and the commitment to easing the suffering and pain of patients. Throughout my experience, extracurriculars, and work ethic I believe I have what it takes to become a PA, exceed as a part of a healthcare team, and provide compassionate and empathetic care to all of those I have the pleasure of taking care of. Whatever sacrifices are demanded of me, I will fulfill; whatever challenges are set before me, I will meet. I will do whatever it takes to become a PA. You have my word.
***I don’t plan to begin my essay like that, but have struggled with an introduction. I also play D2 lacrosse and am not sure how to incorporate that to show how I am good at teamwork/benefits I have learned from it without taking too much time to focus on being a life long athlete. Just looking for some pointers to work off of thank you!
Whitney Prosperi says
Emily,
I can sense your desire to make a difference woven throughout your essay.
To your question about your introduction, I would say if there is a lightning-bolt moment that solidified your desire to become a PA include that. (Also, physician assistants is abbreviated PAs – no apostrophe needed. :))
I would condense where you can throughout so you have room to highlight more of what will make you a great PA.
Also, if you have a patient care story, possibly from your work at the nursing home, include that. You want to show yourself in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level. Tell a story that reveals what you have to offer as a future PA.
As to mentioning your commitment to lacrosse, you could describe it in terms of your passion for collaboration and teamwork.
I wish you good luck in the process.
Should you need more help, remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Hannah says
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.”
– Jennifer Lee, American filmmaker.
This quote was something I heard years before I was old enough to decide on a career path. Sure, I understood the basic meaning of the quote. Work hard, do not give up, and follow wherever your passion lies. But the quote did not mean anything personally to me – that is, until my sophomore year in college.
It was a year into my college journey that I decided that I wanted to go into healthcare. I loved medical science and being able to take care of people was something that excited me. So, after many hours of research on the career, I settled on Medical Laboratory Science as my major. I loved their huge role in diagnostics, and their ability to work flexibly in many situations seemed perfect for what I needed out of a job – something that would encourage me to solve problems under high pressure situations and knowing that every day I was working to help solve an ailment that someone was facing.
Later that same year, my Mom called me. She was ecstatic – a persistent, chronic cough that had been stumping her and doctors for years had finally been diagnosed. By whom?
A Physician Assistant.
Immediately, I was captivated. The more my Mom spoke, the more that I felt my heart tugging towards this profession. Not only did incorporate many aspects that I loved about Medical Laboratory Sciences, but the addition of being able to act as a fresh pair of eyes towards each patient and to work under a Physician to understand the best treatment for a patient seemed like a perfect fit for me.
Lee’s quote was finally beginning to click.
I quickly took an opportunity to shadow a Physician Assistant. Watching her interact with the supervising physician gave me the confidence that every patient that they saw was getting the best care possible, as each problem was addressed as a team.
I also followed her to a patient room, and watched as she got to know the patient, taking time to ensure them that she would treat them as a person, not just a number. We were able to spend time in the room, and truly discuss the patient’s problems.
What truly solidified by choice in this career was a position as a Patient Care Technician at the local hospital on the Medical Specialty unit.
One of the first challenging cases that I faced was a patient who had not been taking the HIV medication that had been prescribed to them, leading to them ending up in the hospital. They were nearly nonverbal and spoke very little English. I was assigned to them one day and found that they had not been washed since they had been admitted a few days ago. It was a new situation for me. I was used to patients responding to my bubbly attitude, but this patient seemed mostly unresponsive. I realized later that some people just needed a caring hand and to know someone was there. In the following weeks, the patient was up and walking again – and speaking to us for the first time. Seeing the dramatic change in their demeanor lifted my spirit. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences I had ever felt.
But I learned months into my job that part of being a healthcare provider did not only incorporate healing – but comfort as well. Learning to let go and to give someone peace as they went through the final stages of life. I was assigned to sit with a patient who had gotten a traumatic brain injury who, as a result, was unalert, impulsive and attempting to pull at their lines. I sat with the patient for eight hours with their spouse and children. After a few hours, their children left, leaving me, the patient, and the patient’s spouse. We talked about the patient before the accident – how the patient was stubborn and sarcastic, but loyal to no end. At one point, the spouse said something that I would never forget.
“They have always been great at telling us what they want.” The spouse reported, eyes on the patient.
“What are they telling you right now?” I asked.
“That it’s time to let them go.”
Within two years of my position at this incredible job, I have encountered experiences I thought I never would. I have been kicked, yelled at, and punched by patients. I have spoken minimal Spanish to a blind woman who did not speak English. I have bonded with patients both my age and decades older than me. I have learned so many stories from people from such a huge variety of cultures, backgrounds, and lives. Even though some memories are objectively more positive than others, I would not change any of them for the world. All these experiences – good and bad – have only helped me realize that becoming a Physician Assistant is, as Lee would put it, sets my soul on fire. I love to help people, to listen to them, to try to understand them in an experience that is probably really frightening for them. I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of every person I meet as if they were my own family member – whether that means improving their quality of life or allowing them to let go.
Whitney Prosperi says
Hannah,
You do a good job of describing your journey toward pursuing the PA profession. I can also sense your passion for helping others throughout the essay.
Your paragraph describing shadowing is also strong.
I would highlight some of your clinical skills so that you reveal more of why you’re a good fit for becoming a PA.
You may want to mention your desire for collaboration since this is such an integral part of the PA’s role.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember that we’re taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need more assistance.
Good luck to you, Hannah.
Jessie says
Growing up I was very close with my grandpa. Some of my favorite childhood memories are going to the store with him and my mom and picking out flowers for our backyard. During the summers when my sister and I were off of school he would come over and teach us about gardening and about growing up in the great depression. My grandpa was a humble, kind man and I miss him every day. While I was in high school my grandpa became sick with multiple comorbidities including diabetes and heart failure and because of this I can often remember going with my mom to take him to the hospital. My mom is a nurse and I always admired how she was able to discuss with the healthcare providers about my grandpa’s health and how she was able to be an advocate for him. What is more important than being able to look out for the ones you love? This inspired me to pursue a career in healthcare.
I currently serve as an exercise physiologist in a cardiac rehab and I get to affect the lives of my patients for the better every day. As an exercise physiologist, I am in a unique position to really get to know my patients and become their trusted friends. From being their cheerleader on their first walk after heart surgery to teaching them how to safely return to their love of running, I see them through every stage of their recovery. I am so grateful for all of the relationships I have developed with my patients in cardiac rehab who now have become like surrogate grandparents and look out for me just as much as I do for them.
I have been working in cardiac rehab for over a year now and increasingly there is something that has been on my mind. It is the idea that I could be doing more for my patients. In my current position, I work alongside physician assistants to care for cardiac patients. Whenever there is a concern with one of our surgical patients the surgical physician assistants are often who we call to come see the patient as opposed to the surgeons themselves. They are also who I see the most often rounding on the patients in the intensive care unit while I am doing inpatient cardiac rehab. I have had the opportunity to witness a surgical PA in action during a mitral valve replacement. I admire how the surgical PAs that I’ve had the opportunity to come into contact with get to be involved in every phase of the patient’s recovery and take a team approach, alongside the rest of the surgical team, to treat their patients. In my current role I work on a team that consists of exercise physiologists, nurses, a respiratory therapist, dietician, and pharmacist. One of my favorite parts of my current job is being able to learn from my coworkers who come from different healthcare backgrounds and also sharing my knowledge and expertise with them.
I admire that the physician assistant’s role in healthcare is centered around patient education and reaching underserved populations because this has been a main focus of my healthcare career so far. I have had the opportunity to volunteer as a diabetes patient educator in a free medical clinic while completing my undergraduate degree at the University of Iowa. I worked with patients at the clinic who had a new diabetes diagnosis. My job included teaching them about diabetes and then following up with them twice a week to set lifestyle modification related goals. This was a very rewarding experience for me because I was able to work with patients in one of the most vulnerable points in their life and teach them how to work towards improving their health using diet and exercise.
The population in the United States is aging and in the upcoming years there will be an increasing need for healthcare providers. I believe the physician assistant profession will be a huge part of filling this need. Physician assistants provide access to healthcare in areas where this need is great. In addition, they are able to spend more time with patients and are able to focus more of their time on patient education, a long time passion of mine. I would be incredibly grateful for the opportunity to be a physician assistant and continue to care for the sick and underserved, including all of the grandpas and grandmas.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jessie,
Your introduction about your close relationship with your grandpa and the advocacy of your mother is powerful. I also like how you tie your conclusion back to it later.
I can sense your desire to help others woven throughout your essay.
You do a good job of showing what you admire about the PA profession – more time for hands-on patient care and a collaborative approach. You also reveal your desire to do more for patients.
I would add a brief patient care story from your experience. Describe yourself in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level.
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, add a paragraph about that. What did you observe in interactions between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that confirmed your decision?
Good luck to you on your journey.