Are you ready to get started? Choose your package, and we will begin today!
Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (20th April 2024): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers having worked over seven years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Daniel Flood says
Here is my very first draft of my personal statement. One thing I would like to incorporate more is my desire to serve medically underserved communities because I was born and raised in a severely medically underserved community. Thank you so much for your feedback!
For as long as I can remember, my dad never allowed me to pursue a similar career to his own. Immigrating from Ireland in the 1970s, my dad immediately began working as a carpenter with his brothers. But, my dad would always tell me to work with my mind rather than my hands. He made me believe that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to if I remained resilient.
Whereas I’ve always had a curiosity for sciences throughout grade school, I wasn’t always sure where it would take me or what career I would ultimately pursue. Growing up in the south suburbs of Chicago as the first generation to attend college, I had to prioritize making ends meet to assist my parents with expenses, so finding the proper guidance to explore opportunities or gain knowledge of medicine was challenging. Finally, I found an opportunity through the Atlantis project to shadow physicians during their clinical rotations and surgeries. During my fellowship in Greece, I shadowed orthopedic surgeons and was blown away by hearing about the progression that patients make following specific procedures. After coming back to the U.S., I immediately found a position as a rehab technician to get hands-on patient experience so that I could assist with their road to recovery.
While assisting patients on their road to recovery was remarkable, I wanted to explore medicine in medically underserved communities closer to home. Within my first week as a medical scribe in the emergency department, the ED received a call from EMS for a pediatric cardiac arrest. The patient was a young, seemingly healthy, athletic boy who had suddenly collapsed while playing basketball. My physician immediately jumped on the case while I stood in the corner of the room with my laptop beside the patient’s parents and sister. After nearly an hour of attempting all measures of CPR, my physician ultimately called the time of death. While the ED struggled to catch up with the surging waiting room, I volunteered to chart for the physician assistants on the other side of the ED. This is where I was first able to appreciate the role and purpose of the PA profession. Finally, I admired their efficiency and efforts in being a team member that helps healthcare run smoother and expedite the patients’ recovery path.
After finishing my overnight shift, I went directly to my morning shift as a rehab technician and incessantly researched everything I could find about the PA profession. I quickly picked up as many shifts as possible with physicians and PAs, including overnights during my full-time class schedule. However, tension at home escalated as my mom’s alcoholism reached its peak, and I was compelled to move into low-income housing. Struggling through my full-time class schedule and multiple jobs, I continuously recollected what my dad would preach to me: I could accomplish anything I set my mind to if I remained resilient. The more exposure I would get in medicine, the better the practitioner I would eventually become. So I stayed optimistic that the sleepless nights would be worth it when I became the PA I desperately sought.
COVID-19 allowed me to give back to severely medically underserved communities. After being instructed by my principal investigator to continue my work as a research technician from home, I yearned to help on the front lines. Immediately, I reached out to former colleagues to volunteer in establishing a rapid response team for testing homeless shelters throughout Chicago. I was aware of the risks I was taking to care for these individuals; however, their well-being came before mine. I worked closely with PAs throughout the pandemic and constantly felt immeasurable admiration for their passion, professionalism, and sympathy for helping the underprivileged in a vulnerable state. Teamwork, time management, and communication were essential in these large homeless shelters as I worked to complete intake and facilitate individuals toward testing with the PAs.
Throughout my years working and volunteering in many aspects of medicine, I have honed my interpersonal, teamwork, and professional skills and my ability to work in high-stress environments. However, the most important thing I’ve learned through experiencing multiple disciplines of medicine is that I have my limits. Where I have an unrelenting eagerness to learn and serve the underprivileged, I also need to prioritize my own physical and mental health to be the best practitioner I can be. The PA profession will provide me with the challenges and independence I seek to serve the underprivileged with the benefit of continuously learning under the wing of a physician. My dad’s resilience instilled in me, my multitasking ability from scribing in the emergency department, and my passion for collaborating with other health care professionals throughout the pandemic have prepared me for a prosperous and gratifying career as a PA.
Cristina Steyaert says
Hello! This is my first draft of my PA statement, I appreciate any feedback and for your time!
A quiet house in the suburbs, settling in for the night on a weekday night, became a scene of lights and sirens within a short amount of time. A seventeen year old female was found on the second floor of her home. She was in a postictal state after her mother called 911, witnessing her body seizing, lips cyanotic, and not breathing. EMS did their assessment and transported her to the hospital to do further testing and imaging. She obtained multiple blood tests, an EEG, MRI and CT imaging; all to come back negative for any abnormalities.
This was just the beginning for me. I began care with a neurologist to help my mother and I through this time of confusion and uncertainty, attempting to piece together what happened and why. The first neurologist that I saw was ready to diagnose me with epilepsy, informing me that I would be taking anticonvulsants for the rest for my life. I contemplated my new diagnosis, filled with despair. My mother reached out to a new neurologist for a second opinion. I spoke with a PA who took the time to explain, with compassion and care, that this was not epilepsy but an idiopathic seizure. This interaction not only brought relief, but it created a trusting relationship that made me hopeful. After this experience, I realized that I wanted to make a difference like this PA had done for me during my time of need.
In the last three years of working in health care, I have gained many valuable skills through my work as an EMT in the settings of EMS, urgent care, and in a pediatric clinic. Becoming an EMT introduced me to what makes medicine an extensive and incredible field to work in. I have grown my skills on how to gather a detailed description of a patient’s chief complaint and work through an assessment, critically thinking of differential diagnoses. Working in a variety of settings has helped me learn how to do assessments with different ages, cultural backgrounds, and language barriers. In addition, I have learned how to be attentive and present with active listening while interacting with patients. This has allowed me to gain an extensive knowledge of different medical conditions while building rapport with patients and family members under difficult circumstances. While gaining experience and knowledge, it has also showed me what a vital role the PA has within the healthcare setting.
Working as a team with PAs in urgent care and pediatrics has helped me learn about this career and what this role involves. The PA position not only provides high quality patient care but it also gives an opportunity to work alongside physicians to become a better provider. This aspect appeals to me because the PA has a valuable resource and partnership with a supervising physician to help expand their knowledge while providing guidance to support the PA with managing their own patients independently. I love the flexibility that the PA has to study and practice in multiple specialties. My passion for medicine throughout the years as grown to where I want to explore many aspects of it, not just one specialty. The idea of being able to practice different specialties interests me, not only to gain more experience, but it will help become a versatile provider with a wide variety of expertise to help my patients.
I have worked alongside PA’s while they performed fracture reductions, applied sutures, and help them with physical assessments to create the best possible treatment plan. One experience that has stood out to me while working alongside a PA was a two year old boy who came in with his mother to urgent care. His mother was worried about what could be causing his lethargic behavior. I helped the PA by obtaining vitals and helping gather family history while the PA consulted with other MD’s in the office to make a diagnosis. When we obtained a blood glucose level of over 500, I observed the PA while he discussed with the mother that her child might have type 1 diabetes and should be seen in the ED. It was an emotional moment for the mother as she was not expecting this to happen to her young son. The PA made an effort to be there for the family, for not only medical support, but with empathetic emotional support. He followed up with the family a few days later to find out the diabetes diagnosis was confirmed. It is moments like this where it can be hard to have a discussion with a patient or family or make a correct diagnosis. However, just like this PA, I want to provide attentive, compassionate care to my patients when it matters most.
Becoming a PA is a career for me to make a difference in health care and there is no other profession I would want to be in. When I am asked what I do for a living, I will answer “making a difference as a PA.” I am very fortunate to work in healthcare and be involved on a team who is committed to changing lives for the better in the community. I strive to use my strengths as a compassionate, kind, and determined individual to earn the title of PA. I will continue to work towards this goal so that I can help make my impact in healthcare and provide the highest quality care that I know I am capable of.
Claritza says
Hello everyone,
This is my final draft for my personal statement. This is also my second time applying. Any feedback is greatly appreciated thank you.
I will never forget the day when my sister came crying to me, saying, “Dad got into an accident.” As a child, so many emotions raced through my head. When we got to the hospital, I saw my dad lying on the bed with a brace on his leg, which put me at ease for a moment, but after a couple of weeks, he had emergency surgery due to osteomyelitis. Shortly after, complications of the surgery led to a pulmonary embolism, and he was later classified as disabled. My father, now unable to work, had previously been the primary source of income for our family, and as a result, I grew up in a one-bedroom apartment where my parents managed as best as they could. Although my childhood was challenging, these experiences have shaped me into the person I am today. Caring for my father at a young age instilled my passion for helping and healing. As I grew up, I found myself translating for and listening to others around me, being attentive to the unique ways people express themselves. My compassion and empathy first learned at home has inspired my decision to pursue a career path in the medical field.
Watching my parents struggle due to their financial circumstances made me want better for myself and our family. In high school, I decided that I would be the first person in my family to attend college. I wanted to beat the odds and prove to myself that I could push past the socioeconomic barriers we have faced. Knowing I wanted to pursue a career in medicine, I attended the University of South Florida. At USF, I was introduced to the Pre-Physician Assistant Society, where I first heard about the profession. Following my first meeting, I did extensive research on the career, became interested in the role PAs play on the healthcare team, and began attending meetings regularly. While listening to PAs from various specialties speak at our meetings, I learned that the profession offers lateral mobility, versatility, and close relationships with patients. These characteristics and my desire to gain a more holistic view of medicine have caused me to devote my career to the PA profession.
To gain exposure to the medical field, I participated in a program called Gap Medics, which consisted of two weeks shadowing providers in “Hospital DR. Dario Contreras” in the Dominican Republic. This trip showed me what developing countries struggle with in terms of a lack of medical resources. Most notably, the hospital I spent time at did not have a blood bank in house. The gravity of this did not hit me until a patient who had fallen off a horse was bleeding profusely in the OR in need of a blood transfusion. I watched the patient’s mother fall to the floor when she realized she could not pay for the blood to be purchased outside of the hospital. This day changed my perspective on medicine and led to my desire to work with underserved communities and go on mission trips to developing countries.
My patient care experiences over the past few years have enabled me to work with people from all walks of life. I enjoy working in a team-centered environment and creating relationships with my patients. In my previous position as a chiropractic assistant, I helped patients with their therapies after being involved in accidents. The patients typically came into the office with excruciating pain, but their pain was relieved after several treatments. It was rewarding to contribute to changing a patient’s life for the better. My current position as a medical assistant has taught me how to administer different injections for asthma, allergies, and eczema while keeping my patients comfortable. For instance, I give my younger patients a piece of candy after every shot, and for my older patients, I plan their entire treatment plan the first day we start, so they have time to coordinate their schedules. My fluency in English and Spanish has helped me connect with my patients on a more intimate level because they feel more comfortable knowing
they can fully express themselves, and their questions will be answered efficiently in their native language. As a provider, I will focus on continuing to form connections like these with my future patients.
My experiences throughout my life and the unique skills I possess will make me an empathetic and competent provider. I see every patient like family and will provide my future patients with the same level of care and attention that I want my father to receive. Working in a team-based environment as a family member and in my healthcare roles has taught me how to be an excellent team player. Although I have had bumps in my road, I persevered to get to where I am today, and this quality will help me be an exceptional contributor to serve my future patients. I am pursuing this career as a PA to provide healthcare to all patients and ensure that their circumstances in life do not determine the quality of care they receive.
Whitney Prosperi says
Claritza,
I have no doubt that you will be an exceptional and compassionate provider.
I would suggest adding a patient care story. Show yourself in action providing care while offering those skills of connection and compassion. You may even want to recount a story of you translating for a nervous patient. Highlight any clinical skills you have gained in your work.
I would also include a paragraph describing any shadowing experience you have. If you have not shadowed PAs, explain what you have gained through working with them or observing from a distance.
I wish you good luck in the process, Claritza.
Areeba says
One busy day at the dermatology clinic, I roomed a new 80-year-old patient who came in with crusty suspicious skin lesions on the scalp and face that appeared a few weeks prior to the visit. The patient explained the lesions were itchy and bled at times. I couldn’t help but notice that the lesions had features that presented as skin cancers such as basal cell carcinoma and squamous cell carcinoma. I began to get worried for the patient and thought that if they have so many lesions on the face and scalp that seem to appear as skin cancers, they might have many undetected skin cancers throughout the body as well.
I asked the patient if they ever had a full body skin check to which the patient said they had never had a skin check at all. Although the provider was already behind schedule I decided to go with my gut and asked if he would like to do a full body skin exam instead of having a few lesions checked. The patient agreed and thought it would be a good idea to have one done since it was their first time at a dermatology clinic and had never had a skin exam done before. The provider ended up performing many skin biopsies to rule out skin cancers and performed cryotherapy on many precancerous spots throughout the patient’s body. Although we were already running behind, I was glad I changed this patient’s appointment. I knew if I did not trust my instinct and only had the provider address the patient’s initial concerns I would have felt very guilty.
A few weeks later, the patient’s results came out to be basal cell carcinoma on the face and the face came back to be squamous cell carcinoma.
I saw another patient who came in for a suspicious skin lesion. The doctor offered to biopsy it because the lesion looked atypical and wanted to rule out basal cell carcinoma.
The patient began to cry in the room because she had lost a family member to skin cancer and was worried about herself. A week later I called the patient and informed her that the pathology results were consistent with an actinic keratosis, which is a precancerous lesion and has not developed into a type of skin cancer. I informed her that it has the potential of turning into skin cancer if not treated with liquid nitrogen in 6-8 weeks. This same patient who was crying in the room a week ago was relieved and happy that the lesion biopsied was not cancerous.
I was grateful to be in such a role where I could explain the details of the patient’s results and reassure the patient. I felt like I was making a difference and it felt good knowing I answered all the questions the patient had during the phone call.
But I didn’t always have the ability to talk to a patient about their health concerns. Before working at Basko Dermatology, I was a mammogram tech/radiology technician at Advocate Medical Group. When a patient’s mammogram images looked abnormal, it was my job to call those patients and schedule them for follow-up mammograms and breast ultrasounds. During the phone call, some patients would get very worried and upset that they need to come in for additional imaging. They would ask me about their results. Although I had access to their results, I was not authorized to relay the results since I was not a clinical staff member. All I could do was forward the message to the nurse and inform the patient they should receive a call from a nurse to discuss their results. During those moments I felt helpless and frustrated. I wish I could have been in a position to communicate their results to support the patient at that moment.
From the many patients I spoke to over the phone, I learned that the first communication after a visit matters. I was glad to be able to do that at Basko dermatology where I can educate the patient about their conditions and console them in times of uncertainty. However, I wish to take it a step further and overlook patients’ health as a physician assistant, where I have the ability to diagnose, treat, and educate.
Patient engagement has been a consistent role throughout my experience. Through calling patients for follow-ups and to relay results, I learned patients were unaware of concerning health issues, such as skin cancer that is potentially invasive, a rash caused by an autoimmune condition, or tissue abnormalities detected by diagnostic radiology. Patients would often get upset at something they don’t understand or if they can’t get their results. These experiences motivated me to bridge the gap in communication between providers and patients to improve healthcare outcomes. I want to take the time with patients and make them feel like their health matters. As a physician assistant, I am confident that I will have the skillset and knowledge to be able to accomplish my goal and increase access to quality health care.
Whitney Prosperi says
Areeba,
I can sense your desire to serve and educate patients woven throughout your essay.
I would suggest condensing where you can so you can add in some more important elements.
I would add a paragraph that explains how you discovered the PA profession and what about it appeals to you. (ability to switch specialties, expanding access to healthcare, more time with patients, collaboration with a healthcare team?)
Also, I would include a paragraph that describes any shadowing experience you have. What about these interactions confirmed your decision to pursue this path?
Also, elaborate on clinical skills you have gained throughout your work experiences.
I wish you good luck in the process.
Jonah D Beer says
When I was twelve, my mom suffered a bad ankle injury that required immediate medical assistance. Living in Stillman Valley, Illinois at the time, the closest hospital to us was forty minutes away. Our neighbors stayed with my family the whole time, working to get my mom the attention she needed. The experience with my mom was undoubtedly an instance that resonated with me in terms of feeling utterly hopeless. It was then I discovered my passion for helping disadvantaged people like my mom.
In 2021, I traveled to Detroit with a campus ministry group where I helped restore an abandoned community. The physical conditions posed a tough challenge, yet I found my energy through interactions with different members of the area. As I grew more familiar with the residents and the community, the devotion each resident possessed towards one another and their community was inspiring. I was reminded of that night in Byron and how fortunate my family was to have people just like the ones I encountered in Detroit to help us when we needed it most. As I arrived back home, it was clear to me that I was to pursue a career in a rural/underserved population. As a PA, I believe I can serve as an effective link to provide adequate medical resources for those in disadvantaged communities.
Even though my time in Detroit was temporary, my role as a PCT in the ICU at St. Joseph Medical Center allows me to continue to serve and form relationships. I can still recall the first patient I ever connected with. An elderly woman by the name of Joyce called me into her room as she had just learned she was being discharged to a long term care facility. She was very anxious and had no family to comfort her, leaving me to be her console. I sat and listened to her, offering words of encouragement and reassurance. When she calmed down, I brought her a fresh cup of water and told her to call me whenever she needed me. That interaction taught me a big lesson about healthcare: providing care doesn’t always involve a pill. In that moment, helping Joyce didn’t require a doctorate or expensive medicine, but simply a willingness to listen. While I cherish the relationships I have with patients like Joyce, my fulfillment from working in the ICU comes from the ability to work as a team to provide care. I believe understanding how to work as a team when providing quality care is a crucial component of any practice, and it is something I hope to continue in my future role as a PA.
My path to becoming a PA has been anything but a direct one. Following a tumultuous first semester, I reevaluated my academic approach and implemented higher academic standards for myself. Consequently, the following semesters would be a testament to my newfound work ethic. My determination for academic excellence, in turn, fueled my desire to become a PA. In 2021, I took a job as a non-certified pharmacy technician, became an ICU PCT, and even started ISU’s first Pre-PA club. Additionally, I managed to shadow three PA’s over the course of a year, leading me to Erin Miller, an orthopedics PA in a rural community. During our time together, I developed an avid interest in the field of orthopedics. I was enthralled by the combination of physical exam, diagnostic, and surgical skills that were required to excel in the specialty. Erin’s display of dedication to her patients in conjunction with her strong clinical skills instilled in me a passion for orthopedics, a specialty where I can combine my devotion to providing compassionate patient care with my desire to perform technical procedures.
I am confident in my skills and ability to work effectively as part of a team and excel in forming impactful relationships with patients and feel my experiences from living in small, rural towns grant me a unique and invaluable perspective that will serve useful in providing quality care to those in underserved areas. I am awaiting the opportunity to pursue my dream of becoming a PA, and I am eager to begin.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jonah,
We can only offer comments on one essay.
If you would like more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Neslihan says
It is often said that humans tend to carry their experiences throughout life. Many times, it shows in their eyes. As I was taking the vitals of an eight-year-old girl who was in crisis, screaming, “I want to die. I hate it here,” I saw her story in her eyes. A traumatic story. One full of anger, intense fear, helplessness, and terror. During the chaos at the foster home between my patient and the other children, it seemed that the police, social workers, and the foster home staff were not listening to the points the children were trying to convey. They had trauma due to the conditions in which they lived their lives and the background they came from. As I furthered my conversation with my patient, I found that she was demonstrating clear signs of danger to herself and to the other children in the foster home. Her actions and behavior raised some concerns. I had to consider her medical history and assess her to the extent she allowed me to without increasing agitation. I alerted my partner and he nonchalantly responded, “Listen, we don’t have all day here. She is alert and her vitals are within normal range. I’m sure this is them trying to get attention.” I was taken aback by his apathetic tone. I did not want to dismiss her actions and complaints. Every patient deserves to be heard, even if it seems like a nonemergency. I opted to take her to the hospital for psychological evaluation. I have not seen her since.
The most valuable and rewarding experiences I gained as an emergency medical technician are the patient stories and the trust I gain from them. From the brief encounters of being on scene to being at the destination, I anticipate alleviating the patient’s anxiety, and giving them a sense of security that the situation is under control and providing them with a feeling of value. I went into EMS with the mentality of chasing excitement and seeing traumas. Ultimately, as time progressed and as my experience grew, I stayed to be a voice for the voiceless. I often found myself witnessing the challenges and disparities in healthcare that the underprivileged population face on a day-to-day basis. During the limited amount of time I had with my patients from taking their vitals and obtaining their medical history, I would get a glimpse of their lives. Many of the stories were all too similar; lack of access to affordable health insurance, barriers to enrolling in public programs, low health literacy. In most cases, EMS was the only resource of transportation for patients. EMS is a humbling experience, but not a position I want forever. My limited scope of practice and time with patients prevents me from addressing these disparities. I want to address these issues through patient education, minimizing emergency room visits, reducing the length of inpatient stays, and improving patient satisfaction. I learned to recognize that patients may have unexpressed needs. I want to treat underserved patients and strengthen my skills to communicate, listen, and demonstrate respect towards all patients and to help them overcome the barriers of the health care system and I know I could accomplish these goals as a physician assistant.
My passion for becoming a physician assistant was reinforced when I began to work as a medical assistant alongside a physician assistant, Lauren. In my experience, I have the same access to patients that an adult medicine PA has, allowing me to see the full extent of their skills. Through her conversations and effective communication, Lauren instills trust in patients. I witness the influence she has on the patients and how she gives them a better understanding of their health conditions and treatments. The inspirational behavior and the relationship she establishes with patients make me want to emulate her characteristics. On a daily basis, I observe the art of teamwork between PAs and their collaborating physicians as I also gain insight into how PAs can allocate their time to patient care. Lauren demonstrates compassion, devotion, and sincerity as she interacts with patients. This inspiring behavior illustrates what compassion entails and gives me something to which I aspire
My view of a career in medicine has not only been shaped through health care experience, but also through my volunteer work. I volunteer for organizations that raise funds for those who suffer from chronic food insecurity. Through this experience, I am able to provide reassurance by acknowledging the situation and validating the feelings and concerns of those who come. This opportunity offers me a chance to reaffirm my interest, fuel my passion, and combine my previous activities with clinical interests. As a future PA, I am looking forward to having a positive impact on my patients. I envision myself advocating for the patients who also have similar stories to the 8-year- female patient and taking a stand in my community on patient-related issues, the barriers and challenges patients face in dealing with their illnesses, and any other factors that may have contributed to hospitalization. I want to influence my future patients with personalized patient care. I will evolve to be a role model for future healthcare providers with the same qualities and professionalism as I have today. I will continue to dedicate myself to giving the highest quality of care that I can. I will seize every opportunity to educate other health care professionals and the public about the advantages of the PA model of practice. Admittance to a physician assistant program is the next step of my journey to become a reflection of who I aspire to be.
Whitney Prosperi says
Neslihan,
I can tell you want to make a difference in patients’ lives. You may want to soften your language about your partner in your first paragraph. You never want to appear to be critical of another provider, and it is best to stay positive in a personal statement.
I would elaborate some on your medical experience and clinical skills gained throughout your work history. You want to show how these roles have prepared you for PA school.
Also, I would include some more aspects of what appeals to you about the PA profession.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help, remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck to you.
Nicole D says
Any suggestions are appreciated! I plan on using the one-on-one service as well. Thank you.
As a child, a Band-Aid literally fixed any scrape, bump or bruise. Once placed on the injured area, I instantly felt a sense of security and calm. I always knew from a young age that I wanted to pursue a career in healthcare, so I could give that same sense of therapeutic healing to others. During my freshman year of high school, I joined the Health Occupations Students of America organization to explore the many different healthcare field options. The one that interested me the most was the Physician Assistant (PA) profession. I loved the flexibility of the career and the many different applications to which I could apply my biology degree. From that day on, I have worked diligently to prepare myself for this profession.
While working as a volunteer at Methodist Hospital The Woodlands during my junior and senior years of high school, I worked in the ICU, NICU, and Pre/Post Surgery Departments. I was granted access by the Head Nurse to observe a cesarean surgery to which I was both honored and overjoyed to participate. Not all surgeries have the conclusion of bringing a beautiful new life into the world, but I watched in awe the miracle that happened before my eyes. After the surgery, I was able to speak with the Head Nurse and PA, and both relayed to me the overwhelming feeling it brings to their lives to be able to participate in such procedures. Another day on the ICU floor, medical staff seem to come out of every crevice and race to a patient’s room where their help was needed to revive a patient, and they did. Afterward, I was able to speak with the medical staff about what I just observed, and the same inspiring feeling of the medical profession was inside of me. The next day, I was able to visit with the patient, Mr. Henderson. I touched his warm hand and asked him “how are you feeling today?” I’ll never forget how he lit up as he told me that “People here care about me” and I responded, “Yes they do, and yes, I do too.” On my summer and winter breaks from college, I assisted a home caregiver with her elderly grandfather, Joe. My duties included administering non-prescription medication, pre-dosed prescription medication, daily blood pressure readings, dementia related brain activities, wound care, and personal hygiene. Joe was a sweet man who loved to tell me stories about his life while we looked through old photographs. I loved being able to help take care of Joe and give him the dignity he deserved until the time of his passing. All of these experiences truly solidified my choice of becoming a PA.
My decision to pursue a biology degree at Louisiana State University (LSU) has strengthened my desire to become a PA. I will be graduating a semester early from the Ogden Honors College and with a Distinguished Communicator Certificate. The core classes require analysis and critical thinking skills along with the corresponding labs which require the ability to follow procedure, safely handle chemicals and live specimens, and properly use laboratory equipment. I also enrolled in a teaching program, Geaux Teach STEM, at LSU which allowed me to teach biology and math concepts to elementary students in schools around the community. I have developed an appreciation and understanding of diversity and community outreach while attending LSU. This will carry through to my becoming a more culturally empathetic and caring PA.
I now want to be the Band-Aid that once wrapped me in the feeling of security and calm. Everyone deserves respect and quality care. I want to help heal, educate, foster, and bring assistance and quality care to others.
Whitney Prosperi says
Nicole,
I can sense your passion to help patients woven throughout your essay.
I would suggest making sure you answer the question why you want to become a PA over another type of provider. Include a paragraph that describes what specifically appeals to you about the profession.
Also, if you have any shadowing of PAs, I would include a description of that. Was there an interaction between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician that confirmed this was the right path for you?
I wish you good luck, Nicole.
Simran Kaur says
“Kaur, Simran, please report to room 141.” The words reverberated around the hospital waiting room, which had gradually filled up with dozens of screaming children. Hand clutching on to her mother’s salwar, she stumbled down the long corridor, in awe at the people in scrubs that rushed past. Her little feet dangled off the chair she had gingerly climbed onto, sat between the dark-haired woman in a white coat and her mother. The doctor asked the mother about how her daughter was doing, to which the mother told the little girl, “Putt, doctor nu apne naksir de vaare das de (Child, tell the doctor about your nosebleeds).
Growing up in a first-generation family that relied on state-issued health insurance, this is how all of my doctor’s visits went. My mother did not know any English, she only knew how to speak Punjabi and Hindi. Therefore, I was compelled to translate and explain between her and the doctor. I didn’t mind translating, however, I actually looked forward to it; I was excited to learn something new about medicine every visit. Unaware of it at the time, these hospital visits instilled in me an invaluable skill that I would use for years to come—medical translation.
On one day as an ophthalmology technician, I noticed an elderly patient come in, her small frame hunched over as her son held on to her. The light gray streaks in her hair juxtaposed with the bright blue print of her salwar-suit. I noticed my coworker struggling to adjust her in the autorefractor, and I hurried over to assist. The patient’s blue-rimmed irises shot towards me, filled with both shock and relief, as I greeted and spoke to her in Punjabi. While performing the remainder of her testing, it became apparent that she had severe diabetic retinopathy—the likely cause of her low visual acuity. I stood by the ophthalmologist, translating for him as he explained the significance of diabetes monitoring and medication to the patient. She thanked me profusely as she left, telling me that she never had encountered a Punjabi-speaking individual at any of her appointments. I later became the designated translator in the clinic, responsible for all Punjabi, Hindi, and Mandarin-speaking patients. Explaining the purpose of tests and medications to them in their languages was incredibly fulfilling, as I watched their furrowed brows and creased foreheads transform into relaxed shoulders and trusting eyes.
Shadowing Woojung Kim PA-C reinforced to me the importance of medical translation in increasing patient education. Nestled in the heart of Brooklyn, his office predominantly sees individuals that are from Creole communities. Along with his medical assistant translating, he explained to each and every one of his patients how important following medical instructions are, especially when dealing with conditions like coronary artery disease and hypertension. It was clear to me that cared deeply about the well-being of his patients, and wanted to not only treat them, but also educate them about their conditions. I found this very admirable, and believe it is a trait that all medical professionals should embody. If patients comprehend the knowledge surrounding their illnesses, they are much more likely to be compliant with medical orders.
As the president of Stony Brook University’s Sikh Student Association, I used this notion to lead a COVID-19 poster campaign. Infection rates were notably higher in regions with large Sikh populations across New York City. Therefore, along with my team, I designed posters that simplified and translated CDC infection preventive measures into Punjabi. Hanging these posters in gurudwaras (houses of worship) allowed us to educate the Sikh community about the virus and consequently help decrease infection rates.
Shadowing and working in the medical field, whether as an ophthalmology assistant or a medical scribe, made me aware first-hand of the healthcare disparities faced by many individuals. Patients with language barriers and lower rates of literacy are at a great disadvantage, and consequently suffer from additional health risks and illnesses. By increasing access to medical services and patient health literacy especially in medically underserved communities, physician assistants help to significantly alleviate these disparities and subsequently improve public health. As a physician assistant, I would use my personal experiences in combination with my core ideal to increase patient literacy to help improve education amongst my patients, and give back to communities like the one I was raised in.
Character count: 4569/5000
Whitney Prosperi says
Simran,
You are off to a good start.
I would suggest adding in some more details about some more aspects of what appeals to you about the PA profession. (ability to switch specialites, collaborating with a healthcare team, more time with patients?)
I would also spotlight some of the clinical skills and medical knowledge you have gained.
I wish you good luck on your journey, Simran.
Alli D says
Hello! I am looking for constructive criticism on my essay. This is my first draft and will take any advice you provide! Thanks in advance!
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”. These are words that Henry Ford once said and words that have made an impact on many people’s lives. These words hung on a medallion at my gymnastics center when I was six years old. This quote has provided me with inspiration to do many things in life, but it has implemented a drive to become something I never dreamed of coming. Many people have aspired to become a doctor, nurse, or radiologist. I attended college with intentions on becoming a strength and conditioning coach until a family member had an accident and endured a spinal cord injury. When the surgeon said my grandmother had a two percent chance of walking, I instantly decided I was meant to be in healthcare. A few years later, a special person entered my life who has Crohn’s Disease. They had an ileostomy when I met them and their story inspired me. They told me their experiences about how they pulled out of being septic and they showed me pictures of when they were ill.
A healthy, active 75 year old woman laid in her bathtub for 36 hours after slipping a falling on soap residue. It was not until one of her daughters could not reach her for that time that she rushed to her house to find her face down in her tub and unable to move. An ambulance was called and she was taken to the hospital where they took x-rays and determined she had endured a spinal cord injury at the C3 level. She underwent surgery and the surgeon told the family there would be a two percent chance of walking again. That woman is my grandmother and she spends most of her day in a motorized wheelchair. However, the surgeon beat the odds and she is capable of walking with a walker. This accident changed my life goals, as well as my career path. I no longer wanted to help healthy athletes win gold at their competitions, but I have passion to help those who are injured and sick regain their quality of life. After reevaluation, I strive to become a physician assistant so I can impact peoples’ health in a different way.
With experience as a physical therapy aide and a medical assistant, I have seen different aspects of healthcare. I have been provided the opportunity to see a variety of age groups as well as diagnoses. In the outpatient physical therapy clinic, there were many different orthopedic cases. The clinic brought in anything from sprained ankles and arthroscopic surgeries to total joint replacements and dyskinetic individuals. The small primary care office, where I am a medical assistant provided me more opportunity with hands on experiences. I took vital measures for every patients and when appropriate I performed EKGs, ear flushes, and glucose tests among other tests. It is here where I was able to see the front office side of healthcare as well. I billed for visits, completed authorizations for special tests and studies and learned about medications. These experiences are quite different which allowed me to see different aspects of healthcare. The downside to both roles is that I was never the one diagnosing or deciding treatment. I had to wait for the therapist, doctor, of physician assistant to tell me what to do and provide them with results. I want to be the one diagnosing, treating, and following up with my patients, which is why I want to become a physician assistant.
The diversity of cases that I have seen throughout my two roles as a physical therapy aide and a medical assistant have provided me with unforgettable experiences that I am grateful for. Watching people come the day after getting their knee replaced be miserable and doubtful develop into grateful and mobile people was what got me hooked on orthopedics. I love the concept of changing lives by implementing the right treatment. I have witnessed the best and the worst cases in therapy. Those who are successful in recovery from injury or surgery are the ones that trust in their providers. Those who are unsuccessful have doubt in their care. It is my goal to be a provider that can be trusted and can provide results for my patients. On the other hand, primary care is interesting because the providers know about so many different illnesses and diseases that they diagnose and treat. When they cannot diagnose a patient themselves, they know when it is appropriate to refer to a specialist. There will always be obstacles in life. My favorite quote once hung on a large medallion on the wall of my gymnastics center when I was young- “obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes of your goal”. Those words were quoted by Henry Ford and I live by them. It is important to set goals in life so you always have something to strive for. When something intimidating is brought up in life, I make it a goal of mine to overcome it. Physician assistant school is not meant to be easy, but I am determined to tackle it and become a passionate healthcare provider to overcome odds similar to having a two percent chance of walking. I want to provide care for the patients with less than fortunate situations and provide them with a better quality of life.
Whitney Prosperi says
Alli,
I can sense your desire to help patients woven throughout your essay.
I would suggest making sure you add a paragraph that addresses what about the PA profession appeals to you. (the ability to switch specialties? expand access to care? collaborating with a healthcare team?)
Also, include a patient care story that shows you in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to show some of your traits that will make you an effective PA.
If you have any shadowing experience, I would describe that. What did you witness between PA/physician or PA/patient that confirmed this was the path for you? If you don’t have any shadowing experience of PAs, describe what you witnessed in working with PAs.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck, Alli!
Erin Diemer says
Hello, this is a draft of my personal statement as a first-time applicant. Thanks in advance for any comments.
During my gap year, I have had an extensive amount of time to reflect on why I want to be a physician assistant. As I worked in a rehabilitation hospital, I discovered my love for interacting and caring for patients whom I may only know for a short period. But during my time I also interacted with and researched other medical-related professionals that may suit me and my undergraduate experience, and even considered careers that would require less schooling. However, I have consistently concluded that none of these other avenues would satisfy my desires and ambitions as being a physician assistant would.
My interest in the medical field was sparked after a high school soccer game that resulted in a broken right tibia and fibula. The injury led to a metal rod, screws, and a handful of x-rays over the following months. I had broken bones as a young child, because who has not, but this was the first time I could truly understand and comprehend what I was going through. I obsessed over my X-Rays, watching my body heal and see the results of medical care had me hooked. Even hooked to the point where I needed a screw removed and kept it in a jar as a keepsake! What began as a traumatic and quite painful experience ended up being the driving force behind my love for health sciences and the medical field.
As I began planning for a future career in the medical field, I started paying more attention to the interactions and my experiences with various medical professionals. I began noticing at my primary care office that we spent more time talking with a physician assistant rather than the doctor on staff. And even during a visit to the emergency department with my grandmother after she had cut her leg, I realized it was the physician assistant that was providing quality care and consulting with the doctor on what methods would be best for my grandmother’s delicate skin. The kindness and medical skills that the physician assistant used along with the ability to collaborate with doctors really drew me toward this career path.
During my undergraduate studies, I competed as a Division-1 track and field athlete for four years. My ability to have proper time management and multi-task allowed me to be successful in my studies and excel outside of the classroom with multiple all-conference recognitions and advance to the NCAA west regional meet my senior year in the pole vault. For three semesters I even worked with other student athletes as an academic tutor, teaching primarily biology and chemistry. Competing in athletics has provided me with the ability to manage my time effectively and will allow me to excel in the PA profession.
During the summer of 2020, I obtained my Certified Nursing Assistant license and use it to currently work as a Patient Care Technician in a rehabilitation hospital. I have really enjoyed working in an inpatient rehabilitation setting because I have been able to experience patients getting better after a hip replacement, amputation, or stroke. It is amazing to watch patients go from needing lift devices to being able to take steps on their own. But I also realized how much I love connecting with patients I have known for two weeks, but I always hope I made the two-week hospital stay as enjoyable as possible. This position has been a huge learning curve for me, but I have enjoyed learning something new every day while at work, and I cannot wait to learn even more about the medical field as a PA student and as a PA.
Being a physician assistant is the only profession in which I can be directly involved with a patient’s care, perform procedures, change specialties freely if I desire, as well as collaborate with the supervising doctors, nurses, and other members of the care team. Being able to consult with the doctor can provide relief when I may be unsure of the best direction to go in regarding care for a patient. With the COVID-19 pandemic happening over the past few years, I feel that many people have turned away from the medical field. But I cannot imagine myself doing anything other than working in healthcare with patients in need and fulfilling my dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Erin,
You are off to a good start. I would consider moving the story of your injury to become your introduction. This shows how your desire to go into medicine developed and will grab the reader more quickly.
I would also include a patient care story within your essay. You want to describe yourself in action connecting with a patient on a personal level while providing clinical care. Show some of your traits that will make you an effective PA.
Also, I would include a paragraph that details your shadowing experience. What about an interaction between PA/supervising physician or PA/patient confirmed that this was the path for you?
Lastly, I would include a line that ties back to your introduction, should you choose to change it, in your conclusion.
I wish you good luck, Erin.
Briana says
Hi,
I have pasted my essay below. Thank you so much for your time!!
The path to discovering one’s professional “why” can often be tough, but it is definitely worth it when everything becomes clear and you finally understand what you are meant to be. At 19 years old, I found myself being rushed to the hospital by my mother as I experienced shortness of breath and what felt like sharp pains to my chest and rib cage. Initially we assumed I was probably just experiencing an asthma attack but when we arrived at the hospital, we learned that I not only had an asthma attack, but Bronchitis as well. All I wanted to do was go home and lay in my bed, although I was forced to spend about a week at the hospital, because my oxygen level was too low. But what I didn’t know was that during my stay there, I would be greatly impacted by the medical providers and staff who took care of me. Witnessing the team of doctors and PAs work together as a team to treat my conditions and make sure I was okay before releasing me really inspired me. It was then that I knew that I wanted a career in healthcare and began conducting my research on the PA profession, and different medical professions. Being stuck in the hospital for a week affected my academic performance and grades, but I like to also look at the bright side of the situation in that it influenced my decision to apply to PA school and helped me understand why becoming a PA is my goal in life. I want to be able to work together with other medical providers to treat patients and make a difference in my community.
In the past four years, I have grown and learned even more than I ever thought I could. It was about six years ago that I was working at CVS Pharmacy as a shift manager and studying to get my Pharmacy Technician certification because I knew I wanted a career in healthcare. After obtaining the certification, I transitioned to work inside the pharmacy as a pharmacy technician for about two years. Although I learned a lot valuable knowledge at the pharmacy, I realized I needed to have more of the patient interaction, hands-on experience, and I decided my ultimate goal in life is to become a PA. Therefore, I obtained my first job as a medical assistant in a remarkable dermatology practice, Ciocca Dermatology where I gained valuable experience and knowledge. I worked with a different PA every day and assisted the PA by taking the patient history and assisting with tasks such as shave biopsies, punch biopsies, and excisions. While working in this dermatology practice, I also had the privilege of being exposed to skin research studies, where I would help by calling and scheduling candidates, and documenting important information. Although I learned so much while working here, I had to make sure I had enough time for my schoolwork and so I had to leave in order to be able to obtain a part-time job instead. I began to work at a specialty pharmacy where I stayed at for a year and a half, before finally being able to obtain my current job as a dermatology part-time medical assistant at Miami Center for Dermatology. I currently work as the medical assistant of one PA, and I assist her as she treats patients three times a week. One of the main responsibilities of my position as a medical assistant in dermatology has been to take an extremely detailed description of the patient’s chief complaint of their visit. This has allowed me to acquire an extensive amount of knowledge on the epidermis and dermis, and how they relate with the human body. Aside from biopsies to diagnose and treat skin cancer, I have also witnessed teams of doctors and PAs treat a wide range of diseases and/or disorders, such as molluscum in children, acne in young adults, and actinic keratosis in adults.
Volunteer and shadowing experience further demonstrated that there is no other career I appeal to more. During my freshman year of college, I volunteered at Nicklaus Children’s Hospital, in the Clinical Genetics office. Although I didn’t volunteer under any PAs, I learned so much while at the hospital, and I enjoyed interacting with the children. When COVID-19 started, all volunteer and shadowing opportunities came to a halt. But I did not allow a negative situation to stop me from continuing to work towards my goal of becoming a PA. I began to attend virtual shadowing events almost every week, where different PAs would host zoom meetings and discuss their careers, ranging from obstetrics and gynecology, to orthopedics and podiatry. I am thankful to have learned of these opportunities through the Association of Pre-Physician Assistants at FIU, an awesome organization I have been an active member of since 2020. I also did not want to stop volunteering and helping my community in any way I can, so I decided to begin volunteering virtually. I began volunteering with Translators Without Borders and Be My Eyes in June 2020. Being a bilingual speaker at Translators Without Borders, I am able to assist in translating medical texts or translating for crisis response. With the Be My Eyes application, I am able to connect with blind and low-vision people to help them with visual assistance through a live video call. I once was able to help an elderly woman change the temperature on her AC thermostat, and it felt great being able to help her with a task that might seem very simple to most people but made a great difference in her day. Furthermore, I also volunteer as a mentor at Mentor Collective. I currently have three mentees who are just starting college, and since I have graduated with my Bachelor’s degree already, I assist them in anything they need help with while getting accustomed to the transition from high school to college. I love being able to help my community through my community service and leadership skills. Moreover, obtaining in person shadowing opportunities during the pandemic has definitely not been an easy task, but I did not give up. In January 2021, I was able to shadow a Plastic Surgery Pediatric PA at Nicklaus Children’s Hospital and I am so thankful for that experience. I was exposed to a different medical specialty, and also learned a lot about the PA profession and plastic surgery field in pediatrics. Witnessing the team of a doctor and PA work together to treat patients increased my excitement of becoming a part of a team like that one day. The PA I shadowed truly inspired me, and the way he seemed so happy while doing his job and treating children made an impact on me.
I understand that in order to become a PA academic performance is imperative, therefore I would like to address the discrepancies in my transcript. While combating the impediments of my hospitalization the socioeconomic status obligated me to attain a full-time job while trying to obtain an education. My grades were not great, especially in the more difficult courses such as Chemistry, and I know that there is no excuse for that. I struggled balancing school and working full-time, thus my grades suffered. However, I learned how to manage my time and successfully raised my GPA the following semesters. The determination I used to raise my GPA is the same determination I plan to use if accepted into your PA program.
To sum up, I understand that the medical field is not easy in any way, but I believe I will make a great candidate for your PA program because of my commitment and dedication. I have researched many different professions and have decided that I meant to be a PA. The PA profession is appealing to me because of its versatility, and opportunity to enter the workforce and serve my community sooner. Knowing that I will be able to experience nearly any specialty entices me, as I will have the opportunity to treat and help many different types of patients. With a career as a PA, I hope to make a change and improve the future of medicine. I would like to practice in underserved communities and help to increase the time that providers spend with their patients. I believe that with more PAs available to help doctors, this could be done so that visits can be longer than fifteen minutes. Being accepted into your program is not the beginning or the end for me, it is the next step of my journey to become the professional medical provider I am meant to be.
Whitney Prosperi says
Briana,
For your introduction, I would just start your paragraph with, “At age nineteen” and remove that first sentence. You want to grab the reader’s attention in that first line.
I think you are off to a good start. I would suggest condensing where you can so that you can add in some more elements to your essay.
I would elaborate more on what about the PA profession appeals to you. This is arguably the most important aspect of any personal statement.
In addition, I would add some more details and maybe some dialogue to your patient care story. You want to show some of those characteristics that will make you an effective PA.
I would also consider removing your comment about visits longer than 15 minutes. You never want to appear like you are criticizing another provider in your essay. It’s also best to stay positive in a personal statement.
Lastly, for your conclusion, I would remove “to sum up” and your comments where you address the reader directly.
I wish you good luck, Briana.
kelsey m Coolidge says
Here is my current draft of my PS 🙂 Thank you for your time!!
For most of my life, I knew I wanted a career in medicine, but did not have a clear direction of what that would look like until my undergraduate studies, where I found out about the PA profession through a classmate. I then started researching the profession and speaking to PAs personally. Although my shadowing hours have been limited due to the COVID pandemic, the shadowing experiences that I have had have been very affirming and showed me that being PA is what I truly want as a career. When I shadowed my first PA who worked in cardiothoracic surgery, I was not only drawn to the medicine, but also to her compassion, patience, involvement in patient care, and her availability to address patient concerns. I knew then that I wanted to follow in her footsteps to provide the same level of care, and that I would enjoy the day to day life of being a PA. Working with PAs as a patient care technician (PCT) in an outpatient clinic has confirmed how they take their time with patients to provide meaningful care while being highly educated.
What started my passion of working to help others through medicine was seeing my family members with serious health conditions at a young age. I saw the high level of care that was given to them from various members of their healthcare team, and I wanted to be able to give that same care to other people’s families. Despite the sad reality of seeing them in pain, I also saw the hospital as an exciting place to be. I was fascinated by the machines and procedures, always wanting to know what they did and how they worked. From that point on, I was drawn towards a career in medicine. I found further drive from being raised by a single mother, being a first generation college student, and having a family in a low socioeconomic class living off of government benefits. All of this motivated me to fight for better opportunities; for myself and for others. I saw how much my family’s health suffered due to their life circumstances and wanted a career where I could give back to those in similar situations in an impactful way.
My work experiences have been formative in expanding my passion for becoming a PA. I learned a tremendous amount of practical knowledge and gained valuable firsthand experience as a scribe mostly working in primary care and geriatrics. Formulating advanced chart notes for complex problems where I anticipated the physical exam, assessment and plan at the start of each visit, showed me how much I love the problem solving, critical thinking, and adaptability that comes with being a provider. However, the most important takeaway that I learned from working so closely with many providers and with a diverse patient population was how to be an advocate, listener, and support system for patients. I saw that the patients most benefited by this care were the homeless, the uninsured or underinsured, and those from marginalized communities. Seeing this inspired me to continue working towards my goal of becoming a PA where I could focus on expanding access to care for such patients and being a supportive healthcare provider.
Having advanced to more hands-on healthcare experiences, I enjoy being a part of my patients’ healthcare team and having an active role. As a PCT in a dialysis center, one of my responsibilities is providing and reinforcing patient education. For example, while working at a clinic that served Native American patients, I came across a patient who was confused as to why certain action was taken when they were first placed on dialysis several years prior. I explained to her why that choice was likely made by her nephrologist, and she appreciated having made sense of something she may not have had explained to her previously. I could see that she appreciated this small bit of information and I was gratified by having helped her better understand her health. There have been other cases where I have been able to provide patient education, specifically during my prior experience working as a PCT in a sleep medicine and weight loss clinic. I encountered many patients who had no primary care provider and whose lack of insurance prevented them from seeking care previously. I was responsible for rooming patients for our providers and frequently educated patients on hypertension and the associated risks with the help of the knowledge I gained while scribing. During these experiences I felt accomplished and gratified being in a position where I could provide this insight and give patients tools to make educated decisions.
Throughout my healthcare experiences and time spent with PAs, I have become increasingly passionate and excited about pursuing this career. I have found that I love educating patients, taking my time with them, honoring their individual needs and goals, and showing them that I care deeply about their wellbeing. I aspire to promote equity in healthcare and provide high quality care to my future patients. I look forward to becoming more of a leader in healthcare through this profession and continuing to serve others through medicine.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kelsey,
You have some good elements in your essay but may want to shift them around somewhat. I would suggest moving your shadowing paragraph a little farther down in your essay and instead opening with your early draw to medicine.
You may also want to elaborate some on your patient care story. You could even add some dialog that shows a little bit of how you connect with patients on a personal level.
I would also add some more detail about what specifically draws you to the PA profession.
For your conclusion, tie back to that new introduction.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck, Kelsey!
malia says
Hello! this is what i have so far for my personal statement
My eagerness to learn and try new things has followed me since childhood. I remember engaging in every sport, every hobby, and every class. My innate sense of curiosity encompassed me and drove me to soak up all the information I could find. It wasn’t until third grade, we had to read a biography about Ben Carson that I discovered the realm of the medical field. With the help of various biology classes, my mother’s anatomy books, and of course, Grey’s Anatomy, I developed my interest and curiosity for the human body. My excitement encouraged me to pursue every medical role I could find. Through my clinical experiences, I was able to learn about various specialties. Each time, I thought I had found my favorite subject but ultimately I couldn’t imagine committing to just one. Soon it was clear that I was a woman of many interests, what profession would help me learn and constantly grow? The idea of specializing in one field felt daunting and suffocating, learning about the PA profession was like a breath of fresh air.
As soon as I turned 18, I jumped at the opportunity to volunteer at a local hospital. This ultimately led to the first significant moment that secured my decision of becoming a PA. I got the opportunity to shadow doctors, nurses, and PAs for the first time. I dissected each of the roles by carefully observing and talking to each healthcare professional. The PA told me how he had started off working in the emergency room, then worked in surgery, and then switched to primary care. Recognizing my need for constant change and hunger to learn, the PA profession seemed perfect for me. I was comforted by his close relationships with each of the patients and astounded at the autonomy of the profession.
The second significant moment was when I got to directly work with an emergency room PA. I was the primary care provider on the ambulance and my job was to lead calls. We had gotten a pediatric trauma at a local playground, on scene, I had confirmed that my patient had broken her arm. I splinted and secured her arm in a sling and decided to transport her to the nearest trauma center. My patient had been hyperventilating and she was becoming hypoxic, her words started to fail her and she became more and more panicked as her breathing became quick and shallow. Her mother was trying to calm her down but it wasn’t working. I stepped in, did some breathing exercises with her, and tried to distract her by asking about her school and her friends. When I noticed she was slowly calming down, I explained to her what was going to happen at the hospital. She held on to my hand tightly the entire way to the hospital as we continued our conversations. Among the people who met us at the entrance of the trauma bay, was a PA in charge of the arriving patient. As I gave my report to her I watched as she started giving instructions to the other medical providers. She simultaneously had a calm but commanding composure as she talked to the parent and patient; the patient’s hand slowly let go of mine as she latched on to the PA’s. The PA swiftly started ordering multiple labs, drugs, and tests for the patient and was able to examine and treat the patient with her team. Just as I led my crew on scene, the PA lead her crew in the trauma room. I was once again amazed at the autonomy of the profession and fell in love with the collaborative nature of the PA profession. Watching the PA making patient care decisions on the spot made me realize how important it was to me. My passion for problem-solving and ability to quickly adapt to new situations was perfect for this role.
The final solidifying moment was when I was able to shadow an orthopedic PA. In the time I spent with him, he took me through every patient he had and explained the nature of each injury. I spent time in the examination room where he was seeing patients, in his office where he would develop treatment plans and time in the operating room where he assisted in surgeries. I watched as he scrubbed in and ultimately became an extension of the surgeon. I watched as they both worked together flawlessly, each had a different role in the room and came together to provide the best care for the patient. As he passed the final suture for closing up the incision, I knew my decision to pursue the PA profession had been secured.
Through my years of working in the medical field as a medical volunteer, a patient care technician, and an EMT, my experience working with patients is what left a mark on me. The thrill of meeting new people and the satisfaction of knowing that I left a positive impact is what makes me yearn for more. Although, alone, my patient interactions arent enough, I want to apply my knowledge to help patients reach their point of relief. My desire to diagnose, prescribe, treat and advocate for my patients is what will help me become the best provider I can be. As a PA I will be an empathetic, thorough, honest, and a synergic medical professional.
Whitney Prosperi says
Malia,
I like your patient care story about the child who broke her arm. You do a good job of describing your connection with her and your ability to remain calm in an emergency.
I believe that instead of saying you have a need for “constant change” you may want to reword to something like your love for new challenges, etc.
I would also elaborate some on your PA shadowing experience. What about this experience confirmed your decision to become a PA? Describe an interaction you witnessed between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician.
I would also spotlight any clinical skills/medical knowledge you have gained along the way.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck, Malia.
Evelien Steendam says
Hello. Thank you for any feedback! This is my first draft and I am a reapplicant.
For years now I have known I wanted to be a physician assistant (PA). Being part of a unique Medical and Health Specialties Program in high school that collaborated with the local medical school, I had numerous opportunities and exposures to varying medical and healthcare professions. The PA profession always stood out to me and I was so certain throughout college this was the career I wanted to be a part of that I thought I was ready to start a PA program within a year of graduation with my undergraduate degree. I was young and lacking experience and the admissions committees made me realize the harsh reality that I was not ready to start my journey yet.
I sought out work and volunteer experiences, as well as shadowing opportunities to gain further insight into the many different fields of medicine. Through my shadowing experiences with PAs, physicians and nurse practitioners, I was able to see medicine through the eyes of different providers and what the different roles of each position includes. Additionally, my vast work experiences varying from a skilled nursing facility, pre-hospital emergency medicine, inpatient care, and the emergency department helped me come to realize why I want to pursue the career of a PA. Firstly, PA’s have an in-depth understanding of medicine and are able to effectively evaluate and treat patients with a wide array of pathologies. Secondly, PAs can practice in various inpatient and outpatient settings. Lastly, I will have the opportunity to have a positive impact on every patient I encounter.
My first experience with patient care was working as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA). Being a CNA in a skilled nursing facility allowed me to help patients with activities of daily living while monitoring vitals signs and ensuring safety. By doing the simplest of tasks for my patients, I gained a better understanding of each patient’s individual needs and was able to establish relationships with patients directly as a medical provider.
While working as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) I became involved in the local community and expanded upon my direct patient care experiences. Volunteering as an EMT has challenged me outside my comfort zone. As the EMT, I am the first point of contact for the patient during their medical emergency. I am responsible for helping evaluate, stabilize, and keep the patient calm during their transport. I have learned that communication, a calm demeanor, and collaboration are essential to a well-run team. No matter the years of experience, each and every call is unique. The variety of emergencies and patients I have encountered will ultimately mold me into a better healthcare provider.
I continued to broaden my experiences by working as a Nursing Care Partner (NCP) on an inpatient hematology-oncology unit. In my role, I worked directly with nurses and other members of the healthcare team in order to provide the best care for our patients. This job encouraged me to learn more about the pathology of each patient’s disease. With a greater understanding of their diagnosis, I along with the rest of the team, was able to provide the best care for each patient. Throughout my time working as an NCP, I have been able to side by side with PA’s, ultimately gaining a deeper understanding and appreciation for the role they play in our patients’ care.
Most recently, I have been able to expand on my knowledge and skills by working as an Emergency Room Technician at a local children’s hospital. Working alongside the multidisciplinary team, some of which include the physician, PA, registered nurse, respiratory therapist, social work, and many more, I have gained more responsibility with regards to my role. I have been able to expand on prior knowledge and skills that I had from being an EMT, and have been trained and certified in higher level paramedic skills. Additionally, working with a different demographic of pediatrics, I have gained a greater understanding of the varying needs of the human body at different stages of development.
I believe that I am a great applicant for your Physician Assistant program. I have a curious mind, vast clinical experience, and the determination to excel and become an excellent provider. This application experience has been humbling given that I am a reapplicant and this process has not come easy to me. I can honestly say that I am not the same prospect that I was last year. I have grown both personally and professionally. I sought out feedback and accepted criticisms with open arms. I can say that now, more than ever, I possess the resilience, drive, and perseverance necessary to be a successful Physician Assistant. I will work relentlessly to ensure that my patients will receive thoughtful, evidence-based, individualized care. My ultimate goal is to leave an everlasting impact on my patients and the communities I will serve. I feel as though I am one step closer to fulfilling my dream of becoming a Physician Assistant. It would be an honor to be considered to be a part of your Physician Assistant program.
Whitney Prosperi says
Evelien,
I would advise writing a more compelling opening. You may want to start with a patient care story that shows you in action caring for a patient. Show yourself connecting on a personal level while providing clinical care of some kind. This will show some of your traits that will make you an effective and compassionate PA.
If you are applying to the same schools, you could subtly mention your reapplication, but I wouldn’t make this the focus of your essay.
I would also include a paragraph about your shadowing experience. What about an interaction between PA/patient or PA/supervising physician confirmed your decision?
Also, I don’t believe I would address the reader directly in the essay. Instead, for your conclusion, tie back to the story in your introduction. I wish you good luck, Evelien!
Tina says
Hello,
Below is a draft of my personal statement. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated! Thank you!
Like the month of May, my grandma Mei was warm, sweet smelling, and lively. In 2019, Mei suffered a stroke, which led to a bad fall and to her enrollment in hospice care. I was chosen to become her power of attorney. We had never discussed her wishes, and I felt a sizable weight to make her end-of-life decisions and to find opportunities to integrate our cultural practices into her care. I found a responsibility to be a voice for the quality care she deserved. The opportunity to be her advocate taught me the importance of advanced directives, allowed me to gain an appreciation for the intersectionality of issues that need to be addressed in patient care, and inspired me to be a culturally empathetic provider for the vulnerable, such as my grandma.
I grew up interpreting for my immigrant family at Mei’s US citizenship test, my parent-teacher conferences, and our doctor appointments. In 2017, my dad was diagnosed with a meniscal tear, and I accompanied him to his appointments. Being my dad’s speaker, apprehensive about potentially explaining terms incorrectly, was a heavy pressure. Justin, a physician assistant at OrthoIdaho Clinic, and the first PA I had ever met, never spoke jargon we would not understand. The time he dedicated to explaining the MRI scans and surgical intervention provided us comfort and comprehension. This experience, combined with my experience advocating for Mei’s end-of-life-care served as my interest in becoming a PA. This motivated me to help close the healthcare gap and commit to keeping quality of care and access to services a priority.
I have had opportunities to volunteer in a child life playroom, with an elder life program, and as a NICU cuddler. As a volunteer I provided comfort, companionship, and meal assistance, entertained patients with activities, and mobilized patients. I observed many different healthcare providers during that time, but the PAs stood out the most for their versatility, compassion, and for spending the majority of their time with the patients. The patient centered, team-based medical practice, generalist medical training to provide a wide spectrum of patient care, as well as emphasis on patient education, preventative care, and chronic care management solidified my interest in the PA profession.
Helping my family apply to receive Medicaid and Medicare, and enrolling in meal assistance and ESL courses as a child, drives my belief that everyone should have access to comprehensive care regardless of financial, cultural, and language barriers. When I worked as a physical therapy technician, one of my patients, “J”, was a practicing Muslim and refugee, seeking pain management for chronic shoulder pain. When fasting, J had to be mindful of her physical limits. I adjusted her therapy curriculum, teaching J exercise modifications for her ability level, and collaborated with my supervisor to develop a culturally appropriate home program for J. The PA field appeals to me not only for the ability to diagnose and treat diseases, but also with the promotion of health through education. Learning of J’s situation made me want to study medicine as a PA to help address pain management through patient education, both through prevention and therapeutic means, and further intensified my desire for a career serving underrepresented communities.
My current role as a mental health technician emphasizes the team-based effort I have learned is necessary in providing quality care. In our dynamic, unpredictable, and fast-paced environment, my coworkers and I need to work effectively as a team for stress reduction, workload management, and safety of the staff and milieu, particularly when responding to Code Grays. Working on a diverse, multidisciplinary team allows us to address the complex care needs of our diverse patient population. When I monitored vital signs and performed a skin assessment on our patient “Z”, an unhoused transgender woman and wheelchair user, it was important to first establish trust and mutual respect. Dividing tasks as a team gave me time to sit with and listen to Z, allowing me to better understand her intersectional identities and her experience navigating medical bias and addiction stigma. I strive for my patients to feel seen and heard in a safe and non-judgemental environment, and my patient encounters direct me to develop more knowledge and skills. I want to expand my scope of practice as a healthcare worker, to become a PA, and to further improve the quality of patient lives.
This past January, Mei passed away, two weeks shy of her ninety-eighth birthday. On her final day, I was able to bathe and dress her, ensure she was as comfortable as possible, and communicate that she was not alone. I hope to provide the same amount of dignity to all of my patients. I am passionate that people deserve a good quality of life, and I am choosing the PA path to dedicate my career to delivering quality and accessible health care as a member of a collaborative team.
Whitney Prosperi says
Tina,
I am sorry to hear about your grandmother’s passing. I trust she was proud of you and your devotion to serving others.
You do a good job of explaining why the PA path appeals to you.
I would include more details of your journey. Describe more of your work history and any clinical skills gained along the way.
Additionally, if you have any shadowing experience, describe that. Was there an interaction between PA/patient or PA/provider that affirmed your decision?
I wish you good luck in the process, Tina.
Tristan J says
“Dragon Medics!” “Hooah!”
It is October 2016 in Fort Sam Houston, right next to San Antonio, TX. The weather is still reaching 90 degrees. Our eyes are burning from sweats. Our bodies are sore after days of running and lifting. Our hands are shaking from trying to use our fine motor skills with rushing adrenaline. We are ready to go back to our barracks, wash up, have dinner then crash on our beds. This sight is typical after a day of training in combat medic AIT. I was expecting to repeat the post-day routine, when our company commander, Captain (CPT) Fregoso, decides to show up when we were desperate to go back. I wonder what she’s going to talk about this time— did someone make a mistake? Are we in trouble? Another safety brief? It turns out all my questions are wrong. My company commander was a PA and she wanted to speak to our company about the profession. I didn’t even know what a PA is, until that day. I certainly didn’t expect that day to open my eyes to a new path and give me the dream of becoming a PA.
CPT Fregoso endorsed the lateral mobility and the variety of specialties of the profession. Six years later, I shadowed a thoracic surgery PA in the OR. While the operation was in progress, I had a chance to speak to another PA. His name was Paul, who introduced himself as the robotics PA. Paul told his story of starting as an orthopedic PA, then changing to a general surgery PA, and ultimately becoming a robotics PA. After our conversation, Paul went back to his duties; he was ensuring that the Davinci robot was functioning properly and monitoring the patient along with the RNs, other PAs, an anesthesiologist, and the surgeon.
I always wanted to become a well-rounded professional and an individual. As a combat medic and an EMT, my day would consist of assessing and treating patients with different complaints. I would respond to a drug overdose patient then respond to a patient with breathing difficulty. Another day, I would respond to a cardiac arrest then respond to a patient with alcohol intoxication, sleeping on a street. When I’m done for the day, I love to blow off steam by playing the drums and playing soccer for my church team. Becoming a PA will enhance my qualities as a versatile professional with deep understanding in each specialty. With my interest in thoracic and general surgery, gastroenterology and OBGYN, I know I would be able to assess and treat patients with variety of complaints, just as I do now but with much more expertise.
CPT Fregoso emphasized the importance of teamwork as a PA. From that day to now, all my experiences, from a combat medic to a drummer for my church, have shaped me as a team player. During my annual training in 2017, I was working at the aid station that served the whole battalion with two other medics. One night, 14 cooks stormed our aid station after working from 0400 to 2200. After assessing each cooks, all of them turned out to have hypothermia. As a team, we divided the group of patients; I took care of four patients while the other two medics were in charge of five patients each. We managed to warm them up, monitor them and refer them to the battalion PA if they had symptoms such as slurred speech and drowsiness. From that experience, I realized how important teamwork is not only in the Army, but also in medicine. From 2017, as a combat medic and an EMT, I delivered care with fellow combat medics, EMTs, paramedics, RNs, MD/DOs, and PAs.
My experience as a team player helped me to realize that I am most competent and comfortable working as a team. I don’t have to take charge all the time, although there are moments when I shine. As a drummer, I don’t get the spotlight, but I set the tone for the whole band. As a soccer player who plays as a full back, I am not the one that scores the goals but my tackles and passes build up the plays that lead to goals. With most of my performance being in the back, there are moments when I shine such as a performing a drum solo or dribbling past four players. This is how I perceive PAs; PAs are crucial members of patient care teams, but they’re not always in the center. They have the capabilities to work in teams and autonomously care for patients at the same time. I love to find balance between teamwork and autonomy; being a PA will provide me with the greatest satisfaction by helping me find the balance.
Let’s rewind the time to 2016: we’re still listening to CPT Fregoso give her speech about the greatness of the PA profession. As I listen to her, my interest starts to spark.
“Dragon Medics!” “Hooah!”
She is done with her speech and we gather our body armors and helmets to go back. As I’m marching with my company, my mouth is lip syncing to the cadence but my mind is focused on thinking about becoming a PA. Then, I decide: I’m all in. Six years of preparations later, here I stand. Only you can open the door on this path for me. Only you can make my dream of becoming a PA come true.
Whitney Prosperi says
Tristan,
First of all, thank you for your service.
You are a strong storyteller, and I can sense your passion to help people woven throughout your essay.
I would elaborate some on your time as an EMT. If you can describe a patient interaction, do that. Describe yourself in action and highlight some of those clinical skills you gained in this work.
I would also touch on some of the other aspects of the PA profession that appeal to you.
Lastly, I’m not sure I would address the AdComs in your conclusion. It may be stronger without those last two sentences.
I wish you good luck on your journey, Tristan!
Michelle L says
Warts were the topic of choice as I waited for my mom. The store manager certainly found it entertaining. As a child, nonfiction had always piqued my interest, especially books having to do with medicine. Eating disorders, yellow fever, and STDs– all titles I had completed by middle school. Throughout secondary school, I graduated from short books to biology textbooks, as my appreciation for science flourished.
During sophomore year, when a friend in the Pre-PA organization invited me to a meeting, I closed the pre-pharmacy chapter of my life. The mechanisms of medications and the effects on body systems interested me. However, when I considered why I had opted for this path, I determined that I truly wished for increased involvement in patients’ outcome and be able to prescribe the medications that I would be dispensing as a pharmacist. As I strive to incorporate my public health background with clinical practice, primary care allows me to emphasize primary and secondary prevention, before patients would have to visit the ED, which drives up healthcare
costs. From then on, I devoted the rest of my college trajectory to this newfound goal of addressing healthcare disparities as a PA.
At the height of the pandemic, I worked as a remote scribe for a pediatric allergist at
UCSF. After 8 months of partaking in patient visits, I could name all major allergens in tree nuts, describe a myriad of allergic conditions, and comprehend testing results. I took pride in constructing customized patient instructions about food introductions and allergen avoidance. As a result, I followed the visit from the provider’s point of view, and became adept at extracting pertinent information from lengthy histories.
From scribing, I observed multiple interpreters, from Tigrinya to Portuguese. I was
intrigued at how a single translator could help the patients feel at ease, increase comprehension, and therefore compliance. Reading “The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down” as well as “Mountain Beyond Mountains” both instilled a strong desire to promote cultural competence. Both novels dealt with the value of care that validated patients’ cultures while encouraging the adoption of science-backed practices. I strive to uphold a sense of acceptance and mutual understanding in the way that I will practice, stemming from my multicultural childhood with friends from Serbia and
Mexico to Jamaica.
Apart from gaining technical skills, observing truly compassionate care inspired me the most. Dr. Chang always reassured the parents that they tried their best with the information that they had at the time when they would express guilt in delaying introduction to allergenic foods. This sensitive regard for the patients’ sentiments resonated with me. She would also always consider how her recommendations could be incorporated in each patient’s lifestyle. I grasped that patient care is a partnership that aims to ensure that patients can follow through with plans while keeping their family or cultural traditions intact.
Currently, I have been working as a medical assistant at a multi-physician allergy clinic, which allows me to apply the technical skills I gained as a scribe. While working up patients, I particularly enjoy engaging with them about anything from NYT crosswords to university rivalries. Over the past few months, I have improved upon my ability to interact comfortably with diverse age groups, mood states, sexual orientations, and cultures. Particularly, I enjoy when I get to participate in patient education, like briefly explaining the difference between types of immunotherapies. It is reassuring to know that the patient feels like they are equipped with the
information they need to feel empowered to make decisions about their health. The sounds of me desperately yelling “more, more” to a patient during spirometry tests relays my passion in ensuring the best results for patients. Most importantly, efficient communication with other members of the team has proved to be extremely important in the clinic setting. I constantly collaborate with other MAs, front desk staff, and physicians to ensure a smooth workflow. Leadership is another skill I strengthened while working in both roles, especially from training multiple new hires and working
on manuals.
Throughout this journey, I worked several hours a week, all while balancing a full school workload and maintaining a competitive GPA. I believe that this ability to maintain effective time management will serve me well in an environment where we are expected to constantly incorporate new information into our repertoire. Down the line, I aim to start in primary care while also volunteering my time at community clinics. As I have been uninsured and underinsured at various points of my life, my ultimate goal is to give back and help provide care to those who need it the most. Starting from reading about warts to ending up with more nuanced choices, my
reasons for pursuing the PA profession have certainly matured with my literary selections.
Whitney Prosperi says
Michelle,
You do a good job of telling your path in healthcare.
I would condense where you can and add in some more elements of your journey.
Elaborate more on some other aspects of what appeals to you about the PA profession.
Also, if you have any shadowing of PAs, I would include a paragraph that describes that. What about these interactions confirmed your decision?
Lastly, I think it would be great to see you interacting with a patient on a personal level. You want to show yourself in action connecting on a personal level and spotlight of the characteristics you possess that will make you an effective PA.
Good luck to you, Michelle!
Hannah says
This is one of the first drafts of my essay and I appreciate any feedback!
At age five, I remember staying alone at the hospital in our small town. I would wake up in the night and cry, missing my mom. My dad would bring me movies from the video store to keep me occupied. The nurses would carry me around on their hips and let me eat ice cream from the fridge. I stayed for three days and was diagnosed with asthma. Growing up, I learned to deal with my limitations. I would stay inside during recess so I could complete my nebulizer treatment, always needed my rescue inhaler in my bag, and could not run or play during PE without becoming winded. I was no stranger to doctor’s offices or trying out new medications. As I grew older, I always hoped that I would outgrow my asthma as many others did, but it never happened. I always attempted to explain how asthma felt but others did not seem to understand, but I always felt that the PAs I have grown with helped me to accept and control my asthma. Now, I enjoy educating others on its effects and my experiences.
I did not always know that I wanted to be a physician assistant but rather knew I belonged somewhere in healthcare. I was inspired by the Ebola outbreaks that were emerging in 2014 and I was intrigued, reading books about Ebola and infectious diseases in my spare time. These events sprouted my interest in healthcare, and I began my Master of Public Health program. I supplemented my education by working for the Iowa Department of Public Health on a surveillance team, interviewing providers and patients regarding cases of salmonella, Lyme disease, and giardia. During this work, I enjoyed my interactions with patients. Educating others during an unfamiliar and challenging time provided a great sense of pride and allowing patients to understand their illness made the job worthwhile. However, I realized that I desired a deeper connection with the patient, something I did not always get through interviews. I also knew that I enjoyed working with underprivileged populations and observing their lack of resources concerning their health. I connected this to my volunteer experiences at a local homeless shelter through the years, I often left feeling like there must be more that I can do, something greater, and these experiences helped me to develop my awareness that a physician assistant career aligns closely with my interests, background, and personality.
To further combine my interests, I wanted to learn more about the medical field and further develop my knowledge of science, ensuring this was the path I wanted to take. During my studies in the Biomedical Science Master’s program, I became increasingly dedicated to learning about science and found it exciting to piece together with my other experiences. This combination of experience and education created a solid foundation as I already had enthusiasm for learning about diseases, and now I was able to apply that knowledge. Still, I wanted to ensure this path was right for me and expanded my skills by becoming a CNA in hopes of connecting with patients, which continuously was postponed during the COVID pandemic and concerned me as an asthmatic.
I chose to work at a hospital on the Med/Surg floor, hoping to take on a challenge by working on a floor that brought diversity, acuity, and versatility. Studying biomedical science and public health prepared me for some facets of the job, but nothing can substitute hands-on patient contact, the piece I had been missing. Each patient was a unique case, and I treated each encounter as a learning experience so I could become the best healthcare provider possible. During one of my shifts, I was assigned a patient hospitalized for her asthma. Later that day, my phone beeped, the emergency signal. A critical call was sent out, which was for my patient. I arrived at the room with ten other people inside, trying to assess the situation. She was having breathing trouble, and her coughs were deep and forceful. I could tell she was struggling to take a deep breath. The respiratory therapist came and tended to her, and once the commotion quieted and the room cleared, I stayed behind to comfort and talk with the woman through her coughs, which were now sparse and less forceful. I explained that I also had asthma and knew how that could feel. I empathized with the woman, knowing she felt helpless and wanted her to feel comforted. I would want to be treated this way, and these are the qualities I strive to portray as a PA.
Physician assistants must be versatile, well-rounded, dedicated, and people-oriented, which are attractive aspects of this career, and I am thankful to have diverse and applicable exposure to various realms of healthcare to exemplify these traits. I admire the flexibility of this career path in choosing a specialty and, more importantly, the ability to spend quality time with a patient and make them feel comfortable. I am excited to compile my healthcare education and experiences and continue to follow the path of becoming a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Hannah,
You are off to a good start.
I would suggest answering the “why PA” question earlier on in your essay.
I would also include a paragraph describing your shadowing experience, if you have any. If not, describe what you have witnessed from working with PAs and explain how this has solidified your decision to become a PA.
I would also describe a patient care story that shows you in action providing clinical care while connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to show some of your personal traits that will make you a great PA.
Additionally, for your conclusion I would tie back to your introduction in some way.
Good luck, Hannah!
Matthew B Webb says
Hello! I just finished my first draft of my PA school statement and was looking for feedback on anything you think I could improve! I appreciate the help!
I held my right wrist in my left hand as I talked with the Doctor. I was told I had broken my scaphoid and that a splint would be required for recovery. Surprisingly, this news excited me, my first broken bone! News of broken limbs, torn ligaments and surgery had always interested me but I had managed to avoid any of these throughout my life so far. I asked question after question about what I should look out for, what I could do to speed up recovery, how it would affect my range of motion in the future, and if surgery was required. The doctor, after answering all my questions, and noting my curiosity recommended I look into a career of medicine, detailed some of the requisites that the career entailed. I should have been a little deterred by the high requirements, but I left the clinic excited, knowing my future career would involve medicine.
Puerto Rico is a vacation destination – hot and humid with tropical beaches up and down the coast – so the two years that I spent on the island as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is often mistaken as a two year vacation. However, I spent my two years walking the island teaching about my religion and searching for opportunities to serve others. Whether organized service projects or helping someone rake their leaves, these opportunities not only gave us a chance to teach our message, but allowed us to help others who were in need and lend a special service. It was in the midst of these 10-12 hour days of labor that I started to foster a permanent desire to serve and help others. The interactions through my labor were ones that often caused great happiness in others, the feeling that I could make a positive difference in the life of another person was one that I enjoyed and one that I wanted throughout my life.
As I directed the patient through the exercise protocol, I felt for about the 50th time that I was missing something. As a physical therapy aide I told myself this is what I wanted to do – to begin my path towards becoming a physical therapist. I had taken a job and had started a position as an aide in a physical therapy clinic close to the university. Six months in to the job though, I felt like it was missing something. It certainly wasn’t the patient interaction I got to have on a daily basis, that was one of my favorite experiences; it was not observing the providers with the patients and how they interacted, and treated them, and it was not working hands on with the patient in performing their exercise programs or helping the patients with proper form in exercise. After months of observation, I started to see a pattern and monotony in physical therapy I did not like. I realized that I wanted more autonomy, more change and more ability to stretch and improve my care for others, the extent to which I did not see in PT. After a discussion with a family friend who was a PA, I started to look into PA and comparing and contrasting what I knew and had learned about PAs and PTs. PA fit the exact description that I wanted in my future profession. Medical school and the MCAT were always a no for me, but to be a licensed physician and being able to treat patients, and to have flexibility in profession was what I was looking for, after further investigation into PA, I decided to make the change to Pre-PA.
Having worked full-time all throughout my degree in order to make ends meet, my grades had suffered more than if I had been a full-time student, and I made the decision to become a full-time student improve my academic and application. My amazing wife decided to take the bulk of the financial responsibility and I managed to pick up my grades despite the increase in difficulty of classes and make the deans list 3 semesters in a row. A semester later, I became a Teaching Assistant and took opportunities to teach and help other student struggling in Kinesiology, a very rewarding, unpaid opportunity. I shadowed the family friend who I had talked with earlier and the experience I had in shadowing this Orthopedic PA increased my passion for my future.
My passion for PA has only increased as I’ve finished my undergrad. This is exactly what I knew I wanted when I exited the clinic that day after having my wrist analyzed, the help it provides is similar to my mission experiences, and the flexibility, type of patient care and interaction is exactly what I wanted of my future career. PA isn’t just another step in my path, it is the destination. PA is the career that best fits me, my personality, who I want to be and how I want to serve.
Whitney Prosperi says
Matthew,
Your passion for serving people is evident.
I would suggest focusing on why PA and eliminate the language about the high requirements of medical skill/MCAT. You want to really focus on what appeals to you about the PA profession. (the ability to switch specialties, expand care, more time/contact with patients?) It’s best to use your limited characters to focus on that rather than why not another type of provider.
I would also include a patient care story. (You will have to condense/cut some to be able include this. A good spot may be your mission trip – I would suggest trimming this to 1-2 sentences.) For this story, show yourself in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level.
You will also want to highlight your clinical skills/medical knowledge in your essay.
I would put your shadowing information in a paragraph of its own where you discuss how this solidified your decision. Was there an interaction you witnessed that especially stood out to you?
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck, Matthew!
Jadyn Nogues says
Here is my first draft for my personal statement. Thank you so much for the feedback!
I could see in her eyes the amount of pain she was experiencing and yet, she was still one of the kindest people I had ever met. She smiled through the pain and was a pleasure to see in the clinic every other day, but I wanted to not have to see her again. Not seeing her again meant she was pain free and had graduated from physical therapy. The first time I saw her she had radiating pain from her neck through her shoulder and down her arm, which limited every movement she made. In my position as a physical therapy technician, my main role was to help ease her pain through the administration of modalities and make her as comfortable as possible by interacting and learning about her story. I also studied the therapists as they performed tissue mobilization and collaborated to introduce new methods of treatment that the other was unaware of. Although it took a couple months, through this team effort the last time I saw her, she was pain free. Her transformation reinforced my desire to become a PA because I am inspired by the interaction between medical professionals, as well as the ability to help someone get their life back from a debilitating medical issue. Working in a physical therapy clinic, I gained a lot of experience interacting with a variety of patients and I was able to experience the impact that medical professionals could have on the quality of someone’s life. I have a desire to grow my knowledge of medicine in order to have a greater impact and encounter a wider range of medical conditions to help people overcome obstacles.
When I was 13 years old I tore my ACL and meniscus for the first time playing soccer. At this time, I was able to witness the diagnostic testing and the pre and post surgery process of the orthopedic specialty as well as the rehabilitation process from a physical therapy standpoint. The experience as a patient in both of these fields sparked my interest in orthopedic surgery, and was the driving factor behind my desire to pursue a degree in Kinesiology and a career in the medical field. As I navigated the life of being a Division 1 athlete, I realized that the journey was more about the values I obtained and the relationships I developed, rather than the sport itself. Because these lessons have shaped me into the person I am today, it is very important to me that I utilize the principles that I have learned as a soccer player in the career I choose to pursue. When I discovered the physician assistant (PA) profession, I immediately knew it was the career for me. I have a passion for being a member of a team, making others feel heard, and pursuing growth by gaining knowledge and learning new things. I believe that being a PA fits all of these values perfectly.
Soccer is a quick and fluid game in which decisions need to be made in a split second. This helped challenge my mind in many different ways and it helped me grow exponentially when it came to learning and taking in new information. It also taught me that I love learning and investigating situations to achieve a goal in the most efficient way possible. As a PA, there will always be something new to learn which allows for unlimited growth as a medical professional and as a person. I believe being a PA will provide me with challenges and the constant opportunity to learn new information to help me reach my full potential and make a difference in the community.
I also want to be a PA because I want to be a member of a team that collaborates and works in the best interest of others. As a competitive soccer player, every time I stepped on the field, I had to engage in constant and effective communication with my teammates in order to solve complex situations. I loved looking at situations in a soccer game as a puzzle that needed to be solved, and my teammates were always there by my side to help find the solution. As a PA, I look forward to building relationships and cooperating with other medical professionals in order to help the patient in need. I have a goal to use effective teamwork, collaboration, and encouragement to support others and do everything in my power to make a difference in people’s lives.
Listening to others and making people feel heard are also values of mine that have led me to the PA profession. To me, being a PA means being someone who listens and dedicates themselves to being there for others in their hardest times. During my shadowing experience with Bryce Nelson, PA-C at the Orthopedic Institute of Henderson, I encountered many patients that were very afraid of their upcoming surgeries. While conducting thorough history and physicals, PA Nelson was very understanding and spent as much time with the patient as needed, in order to address all of their questions, make them feel understood, and ease their worry about the operation they were going to encounter. PA Nelson made it very clear that he was going to be with his patients every step of the way and that if they had any concerns or questions that he would be available to help. This experience really resonated with me because PA Nelson displayed the exact type of compassion that I believe would have been very impactful for me as a young soccer player experiencing two separate ACL surgeries. I want to be able to provide this same level of care to my patients in the future.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jadyn,
I would suggest adding more detail regarding your journey toward the PA path. Elaborate on some of your work history, clinical skills, and medical knowledge that you have gained along the way. You want to spotlight some of your traits and skills that will make you an effective PA.
I would also write a separate conclusion paragraph that ties back to your introduction in some way and reiterates your desire to care for patients directly as a PA.
I wish you good luck in the process, Jadyn.