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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (7th May 2024): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers, having worked over ten years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Morgan says
I am worried that my essay does not provide enough information about the role of a PA and why I think I am a great fit to be a PA.
When reminiscing on the past years of my life, I never thought that three dates would have such a great influence on what career path I would choose in the future. February 6, 2012, the guidance counselor called me out of class and informed me “Morgan, I pulled you from class to tell you that your friend was found dead in her room this morning.” February 1, 2013, I entered the school and was met with an overwhelming sense that something was severely wrong. I questioned what had happened and received an answer of “Kevin’s dead.” May 1, 2013, I entered the room my grandpa was lying in and one thing stood out more than anything else, he was miserable. I would have given anything to help my grandpa and not see him this way. I felt completely helpless, just as I had on the days I had lost my friends. It was on this day, in the moment when I felt more helpless than ever that I realized a career in the medical field is my future.
I attended college to pursue a Bachelor’s in Biomedical Science. While attending the University of Colorado at Denver, I struggled to understand the importance of balancing a full time job with a twelve to fourteen credit course load and social life. I often put homework aside to pick up extra shifts so I would have the money to pay for bills and outings with friends. It was not until I transferred to the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs that I was able to master the balance between work, school, and socializing. At UCCS, I prioritized school before everything else, vastly increased my GPA, and was offered a position in the National Society of Leadership and Success based on my academic performance and leadership qualities. After four years of hard work I graduated with my bachelor’s degree and began my search for a job in the medical field to gain patient care experience.
September 30, 2019, I interviewed for Forest Ridge Senior Living and was hired on the spot. I knew this was the beginning of my career, the location in which I would advance my patient care skills and acquire necessary qualities needed to be a medical professional. I was placed on the dementia unit where no day or resident is the same as before. Individuals with dementia are ever changing and their personalities vary on a daily basis. Working with these individuals provided me with an advanced skill to think quickly and adapt to new situations within seconds. Some days I am a resident’s daughter and others I am their doctor providing them a life saving treatment so they can live another day. One particular resident never had children, but in her mind I was her beloved daughter. For months I worked with her until one Tuesday night I walked into her room to find her breathless. She had broken her hip weeks before and though doctors met with her weekly and said she was doing great, they never saw the underlying truth of her incident. She had lost her will to live. She could no longer roam the halls at her will and explore our courtyard when she wanted. Her loss of the freedom to walk cost her the will to live. I knew the truth hiding in the shadows and again I felt helpless. As a CNA I was not equipped with what I needed to give my resident her will to live, the ability to walk again. After her death, I approached a PA I had shadowed and questioned what could have been done to help her. She informed me of different tools that could have been used or techniques that may have helped her to walk again. She had done exactly what it is that motivates to pursue a career as a PA. She provided me with knowledge and tools that made me feel hopeful as opposed to helpless.
While working with residents on a daily basis, I was also an active member of the Forest Ridge Care Team to provide the most effective care for our residents. I worked alongside nurses and doctors to formulate individual care plans for each resident. Due to the high volume of patients that the doctor meets with every week, he often relies on the CNAs observations to understand changes in the condition of residents. It is common that the doctor will come to me prepared with a list of questions about specific residents and ask my advice on what the best treatment and care plan may be.
Through the loss of family, friends, and residents I have solidified my dream in becoming a physician assistant. To be the helping hand that gives individuals hope and alleviates their feeling of despair and helplessness I know that I have made the difference I want to leave in this world. As a physician assistant, I have the power to prevent others from feeling helpless as I did before.
Whitney Prosperi says
Morgan,
Your introduction does a good job of showing your desire to help people in their time of need. I also like how your conclusion ties back to your introduction.
I think we need to see more of why the PA profession is right for you – just as you said in your comments above. I would write a paragraph that explains what first drew you to the PA profession specifically. What aspects of it really speak to you? (ability to switch specialties, more time/contact with patients, the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with other members of a healthcare team?) In this paragraph explain why you chose the PA profession and why it’s a good fit for you.
I would also write a paragraph that details your shadowing experiences. What did you learn from observing this PA? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
I would also move your comments about your grades and your upward trend to the paragraph before your conclusion. Schools are used to seeing this here. You do a good job with this, by the way.
Good luck to you!
Michelle says
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. This quote by Eleanor Roosevelt has been a phrase that has helped me throughout various chapters of my life and has allowed me to continually work towards my dream of becoming a physician assistant. I have been fortunate enough to be able to be actively involved in various volunteering efforts, shadowing, and health care experience that has allowed me to solidify my passion for this field. I have been able to first handedly witness the team of physicians, nurses, and physician assistants who all work together for the best interest of their patients. I have shadowed various physician assistants and volunteered in hospitals through my undergrad college career which has allowed me to further my knowledge about this profession. I began volunteering in the oncology department of a hospital and was able to solidify relationships with various patients who came in weekly. As weeks progressed, I was able to create a personal relationship with each of them and even got to learn about their past life experiences. I became very close with a lady in her late 60’s who had lung cancer and actively came in to receive chemotherapy. Before her treatments, she expressed to me that our conversations would bring her peace of mind and would allow her to feel more relaxed with her procedure to come. I will never forget the day of her last session when she pulled me over to the side and said, “You are a beautiful young lady with a gift of helping others. Your kind demeanor and compassion can easily be seen through your words and actions and I am certain one day you will use that talent to help others, just like you have helped me”. I have never forgotten those words she told me that day and it has been constantly replayed in my mind, even till this day. It is a great thing to know that within yourself you can feel your calling speak to you, but to hear these words and have constant confirmation of patients who feel the same way further proves to me that this dream is something I will not let go of. After receiving my undergraduate degree, I have been currently working in quality control as a lab technician for a company that manufactures vaccines and medicinal products. Alongside that job, I continue to volunteer and shadow various healthcare professionals in the emergency department of a hospital. Through these experiences, I have been able to see what life as a physician assistant would be like. I have always enjoyed the human body and everything that encompasses it and by following a physician assistant, I have been shown how much dedication, passion, and time is needed in order to provide the best healthcare to others and to overall, treat patients in the best way possible. I have had this dream of becoming a physician assistant for many years and I am certain that all my hard work and dedication will all be worth it in the end. I truly believe that this is my life purpose and I have been told by many that I am someone who has qualities for this profession. I cannot wait for the day where someone will look at me and see what I saw in many physician assistants through my volunteer work and shadowing- someone who is full of passion for helping and creating a difference in the lives of others.
Whitney Prosperi says
Michelle,
You are off to a good start, and I can sense your passion to help others throughout your essay.
I would suggest trimming where you can, word by word, throughout your essay. This will allow more room to discuss your healthcare journey.
I think we need to learn more about why the PA profession is right for you. What first drew you to the profession? What aspects of it really speak to you? (more time/contact with patients? the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team? the ability to switch specialties?)
Also, I would elaborate more on your shadowing experiences. What did you learn from observing this PA? The physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
I would also tie back to your introduction in your conclusion.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need more help.
Good luck to you.
Sophia says
“A156, one-five-six, please respond priority 3 to a report of an unwitnessed fall.” We heard over the radio, as my partner switched directions and I flipped on the lights. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something didn’t feel quite right. A nurse in the assisted-living facility led us to John’s room, where he sat on the toilet, doubled over with labored breathing. John had difficulty answering my partner’s questions as she checked his vital signs and provided supplemental oxygen. John screamed in agony as we got him on the stretcher. That was when I noticed that John was beginning to lose consciousness and I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise as I saw his oxygen saturation dropping. As we got to the ambulance, questions raced through my mind. Was it the pain from moving, did he unknowingly hit his head, or could a hip fracture be causing a pulmonary embolism? With the hospital only a few minutes away, we made the quick decision to upgrade priority and call ahead to the hospital. When we arrived, triage nurses immediately helped move John to the gurney for assessment. As an EMT, that’s where my duties end. This is one of the more difficult aspects of working in pre-hospital emergency care; leaving the ED and accepting that you may never know the outcome of your patients.
If I were John’s physician assistant (PA) in the ED, my rapport with John would not be cut short, and I would be given the opportunity to use my skills and knowledge in all efforts to save his life. As a PA, you have a degree of proficiency and professional judgment that allows your patients to trust you in their most vulnerable states. In an unpredictable environment, like the ED, teamwork and collaboration are key to success. PAs have the opportunity to co-manage their patients with an MD, bounce ideas off of each other, and to work as a team. However, they must also be able to work independently. My experience in EMS has proven my flexibility with working effectively independently or in a team setting.
Until I became an EMT, my experiences in EDs were limited, as I’d only gone a few times while growing up in a rural area with few emergency care options and low patient volume at existing facilities. However, my limited experiences did include a day of shadowing a PA, Nora, in the ED of Springfield Hospital, in Vermont. When I recall my experience observing Nora, I automatically think of one patient, a 6-year-old boy, who began his day by running head-first into a trailer hitch. I watched in amazement as Nora managed to keep both the mother and her child calm while she examined the crooked, bleeding gash on his forehead. The mother was still teary-eyed, but she knew her child was safe in the caring hands of Nora. Even when it came time to administer an anesthetic and place sutures to close the cut, Nora’s compassion and confidence in her skills put everyone in the room at ease. At that moment, I knew I could and would be just like Nora in her ability to help people. As a PA, I will bring this same level of professionalism, compassion, skills, and enthusiasm to my job daily, providing my patients with excellent quality care.
Although my commitment to providing exceptional quality care is clear now, this may not be accurately portrayed in my transcript and mediocre GPA, specifically in my first year of college. For the first time, I was living away from home and learning to manage my time and study efforts effectively. Unfortunately, these adjustments became apparent in my suffering grades. However, I was able to refocus my efforts by my sophomore year, and my grades improved significantly. This allowed me to earn a spot on the Dean’s List twice, and to end my last semester with a 4.0. The grades following my freshman year better represent the type of student and worker I am, dedicated to pursuing a career as a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Sophia,
Your introduction does a great job of telling the story, keeping the reader’s attention, and showing your desire to do more for patients. Good job here.
I would elaborate some more on why the PA profession is right for you. What first drew you to the profession? What aspects of it really speak to you? (the potential for more time/contact with patients? the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a healthcare team?)
Your section on shadowing Nora is effective.
Also, the paragraph describing your improvement in grades is good.
I would add a conclusion reiterating why you will be a great PA and tying back to your introduction.
Good luck to you!
Nicole says
It was like any other day of pre-season; the sun was blaring hot and the CCSU women’s soccer team was playing a scrimmage to close out the first session in the afternoon. As I was going to trap a ball, my body decided to move forward but my right foot planted into the turf and decided to stay behind. I fell down in agonizing pain realizing that something was seriously wrong with my knee. As I was gripping the turf for dear life, my athletic trainer came sprinting over and evaluated my knee through my tears and screams. From that moment on I was put on this roller coaster ride of a recovery journey that would ultimately overtake my senior season.
I have been injured many times throughout my athletic career, but this one flipped my world as I knew it upside down. I was praying I had not torn my ACL because I had seen my sister, as well as many teammates go through the tumultuous rehabilitation process which I did not want to end my senior season. I was diagnosed by the team physician with two bone contusions, one on my femur and one on my tibia. He told me that if my bones collided with any more force, I would have broken my own bones. This was not my first rodeo in the athletic training room but what was different this time was I got to work closely with the team physicians as well as the athletic training staff to design my rehabilitation program. It was a collaborative effort from picking the exercises to do during physical therapy to researching new taping techniques to prevent me from being in constant pain during practice. Everyone’s opinion was highly valued and this showed me that participating in a team-based practice, like a physician assistant, is where I was drawn to.
In the past year I have grown and learned so much through multiple different experiences. I was blessed to be able to participate in a PA shadowing program at NYU Winthrop Hospital where I was exposed to many different specialties and was even able to observe a few surgeries in the process. I was able to see first-hand what it truly meant to work as a PA. The patient care plans were always a cohesive effort between equals doing their absolute best to help the person get better. From doctors to surgeons to medical students to physician assistants’ no matter what the circumstance was, it was always a united front. The versatility of the PA profession was also highlighted during this time. I interacted with many PA’s that switched to other specialties, some multiple times throughout their career. Their acquisition of a diverse range of knowledge was something I highly regarded. Being able to experience the different avenues that medicine encompasses caught my eye and aligned with my passion to always learn something new.
Becoming a volunteer Emergency Medical Technician has also given me the responsibility of doing everything in my power to help someone whether that be alongside other EMT’s or alone. It has exposed me to people of all walks of life and given me a skill set to provide adequate care for every single patient I come in contact with. I must be caring and compassionate to these patients at their less than finest hour to help them through a difficult and unfamiliar situation. I am continuously learning something new every day through the guidance of my peers as well as being exposed to new critical scenarios and working through them effectively.
I have seen adversity throughout my collegiate career in many different aspects of my life.
I was forced to take on the new role of cheerleader/player/coach from the sideline transitioning from being a two-year starter of a Division I program after suffering my injury. I struggled academically during the spring of my freshman year. I had a very close friend unfortunately pass away suddenly and expose me to a whole new level of heartbreak. All of these incidences may be drastically different but they all have shaped me into the young-woman I am today. I decided not to bury my head in the sand and let these low-points define my life. I fought my way back to the positive direction I am steering my life in today.
“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty…” is a quote by Theodore Roosevelt that resonates with me and my path to fulfilling my dream of becoming a PA. It has not been easy or effortless nor will it ever be, but the end result is worth everything. I have a profound desire to help those in need which pushes me to work hard towards my goals and aspirations. I know as a PA I will be able to affect someone’s life in a positive way every day, similarly to my role as an EMT and that feeling cannot be equated. My drive and dedication will never cease, but will only grow stronger as I move forward in the journey to become a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Nicole,
Your introduction is interesting and effective. I also like how you bring your desire for collaboration into your essay. As you know, this is such an integral part of the PA’s role.
I would condense where you can throughout your essay so you can allow more room to discuss your healthcare journey.
Also, I would elaborate on your shadowing experience. What did you learn from observing the PA? The supervising physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
I would also include a patient care example from your EMT work. Describe your interaction with a patient who really motivated you to increase your scope of practice so you can do more for patients. Show yourself performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level.
For your conclusion, I would tie back to your introduction in some way.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Lee says
I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you in advance!
Who am I? This was a persisting question that followed me throughout my life. I knew I was more than just a black girl that grew up in the suburbs of Delaware, but my identity remained obscured. There was a time I thought I was a musician, but then the music stopped. I thought I was an athlete, but the days of lacing up my cleats were over. I thought I was a fashion designer, but one day I packed up my sewing machine and never took it out again. I looked for these ephemeral labels to define me, but realized it’s my innate characteristics that make me who I am and will ultimately allow me to become a great physician assistant (PA).
I excitedly followed the medical oncology PA into her patient’s room to observe. The patient, only 19, concerningly sat up in his hospital bed with worry written all over his pale face. Being recently diagnosed with cancer, the patient had a plethora of concerns and questions the PA confidently answered. I was impressed by the amount of time she spent with the patient educating him about his chemotherapy treatment and its side effects, leaving no questions unanswered. I later witnessed the close collaboration between her and the attending physician discussing patients’ treatment plans and prognoses and was impressed by the amount of knowledge she contributed as a PA. As I continued to shadow the PA, I realized she embodied specific characteristics that made her such a good provider. Working as a CNA, these were qualities that my patients helped me find in myself, continuing to further my desire to become a PA.
Mary was one of my very first patients who taught me that my ability to listen and empathize can have a profound effect in a patient’s life. As Mary struggled with the walker towards the bed, tears began to run down her face. I gently rubbed her back, knowing she was disappointed in the weakness in her legs. She began to apologize for her sudden change in mood, noticeably embarrassed by her tears, but I reassured her it was okay and that she could talk to me about whatever was on her mind. As I pulled the warm blankets over her frail body, she began to vent to me about having to tell her children about her terminal cancer diagnosis. After voicing her frustrations, she laid her hand on mine and said to me, “don’t you ever come to this hospital thinking you’re here just to do a job because you never know when you’re making a difference in someone’s life.” Although I was happy to care for her, I felt limited and wanted to do more for my patients like Mary, fueling my desire to become a PA.
Then there was Micheal, an elderly but strong patient who would violently swing his arms in an attempt to resist when the nurse and I would change him. The nurse was unsuccessful at calming him down, so I tried a different approach. I gently rubbed his hand, locked eyes with him, and told him to take a few deep breaths. While consoling him, I explained that bathing him would make him feel more comfortable and reminded him how handsome he would look for his wife when she came to visit. A few moments later, he dropped his arms to his side and began to cooperate. Mr. Andrews taught me the power of human touch and my ability to effectively communicate and its magnitude to change a patient’s attitude.
Rhonda was one of my patients who inspired me the most to continue on the road to PA school. As I walked into her room, I politely introduced myself. She gazed at me with a wide grin as we waited for her blood pressure reading. “Are you in school?” she asked. I explained to her that I had a bachelor’s degree and was preparing to apply to PA school. She looked at me like a mother would at her own daughter and said to me “I’m so proud of you. You keep doing your thing because we need more people that look like us around here.” As an African American woman, it is so important to me to advocate for cultural competence and diversity within the PA profession. I want to be an advocate for underserved communities. From experience working with the underserved through an internship with the Delaware Department of Substance Abuse and Mental Health and community service with North Carolina MedAssist, I have seen how skin color or lack of money can unfairly be a factor of one’s health. Rhonda reminded me of the courage I have within to advocate for what is right, and I will continue to advocate for my patients as a PA.
My search for identity has been a long and arduous journey, but it is with every patient interaction I learn a little bit more about myself. Working as a CNA has given me the confidence I need to assure me that I have skills and characteristics it takes to be a PA. I am ready to expand my knowledge and practice medicine as a part of a team. I may no longer play the piano, dribble down the soccer field, or design dresses in my bedroom, but I am now ready to become a physician assistant… the next phase in my evolution.
L.C. says
Hi there, can you please take a look and let me know what parts I should omit? This is currently at 6,580 characters. I am open to any type of feedback. I appreciate this service. Thank you! 🙂
High-pitched wheezing sounded from the crowded lobby at the urgent care. Everyone stepped aside to reveal a 10-year-old boy struggling to catch his breath. I immediately rushed the boy to the PA for an emergent assessment and he was diagnosed with having stridor as I was directed to call 911. As we worked together to administer nebulized oxygen and racepinephrine, I saw something in the PA that I saw in my future self: a calm and composed provider with the experience and knowledge to lead an emergent case seamlessly, while upholding a nurturing demeanor from beginning to end. Although we shared similar soft skills of compassion, teamwork, and optimism, this event validated my ambition to further my education so that I could acquire the hard skills to become a proficient PA like the woman next to me.
As a hospital volunteer throughout my undergraduate years, I served as an ambulatory surgery liaison to provide patient statuses between nurses and families. There was a time when a frustrated, wheelchair-bound man arrived, shouting on the verge of tears because he was persistently seeking help for severe leg pain. He exclaimed that his doctor was on vacation, the sharp pain was becoming unbearable, and that everyone he encountered was unhelpful. I got up from my desk, acknowledged him at eye-level, and reassured him that I would find a nurse who could help by escorting him to the appropriate department. With widened eyebrows and a relieved smile, he grabbed my hand and said, “I cannot thank you enough for stopping what you were doing to listen to me!” Hospital volunteering helped me hone skills of communication and patient service–key skills required in a PA.
As an optometric assistant, I connected with patients and explained the relevance of each preliminary eye test. As a scribe for endocrinology and ENT physicians, I learned a vast amount of medical terminology and pharmacology as well as the importance of thorough documentation–valuable skills that I use today. As an urgent care medical assistant, I was introduced to a variety of ailments and how they are examined and treated. As a lead medical assistant on my floor in the neurology department, aside from collecting vital signs and assisting in procedures, I trained other colleagues and was the point of resource. During procedures, I would assist by positioning and comforting patients to make them feel at ease, as I notated doses of Botox administered into each muscle. Serving as a patient care coordinator in the epilepsy division provided me the most opportunity to build relationships and empower patients to take ownership of their health and wellbeing. From all of these patient care experiences, I had the privilege of closely working with physicians, PAs, and NPs to better understand the differences in their scopes of practice and their thought processes during clinical decision-making. I also visualized myself as the patient in every case to remind myself to always be respectful, gentle, and practice excellent bedside manners.
A few summers ago, I embarked on a medical brigade to Ghana to provide free medical aid. Amongst all of the rotations, the physician consultations were the most influential–the physician first demonstrated how to evaluate, then allowed us to write prescriptions and order malarial tests under his supervision, analogous to the duties that PAs perform. Beneficial skills that I picked up from shadowing were how to be an astute observer and coming up with appropriate questions to ask patients. Another highlight of the trip was presenting about STDs and cancer in educational charlas, as it revealed the power of education and its foundation in preventive medicine–an important process I seek to exercise as a PA one day. This unforgettable venture drove me to explore intricacies of health care beyond first-world clinics and taught me that cultural humility is required for quality healthcare.
My collection of experiences thus far allowed me to understand the roles of PAs in various healthcare settings. In the urgent care setting, I witnessed PAs working autonomously as solo providers. In general surgery, I observed a PA in both the operating room alongside a surgeon, and in clinic consultations and follow up appointments. Most recently, I shadowed a PA serving as a volunteer at a free medical clinic on weekends, where she would provide me with hands-on training during physical examinations [such as listening to heart and breath sounds in asthmatic patients and palpating for musculoskeletal abnormalities]. I learned of the obstacles that providers face in underserved communities: limited resources such as absence of imaging tests. Regardless, the PA was able to make do of what was available and provide the best quality of care she could offer–an impressive problem-solving skill that I aim to acquire as a PA in challenging situations. I also aspire to have the autonomy in making decisions, patience when counseling, and role versatility that PAs are known to possess.
Academic success is vital for excelling in any graduate program. I must note that my GPA is not an accurate representation of my academic potential. During my undergraduate years, I took on more responsibilities that I could handle: rigorous courses, working, interning, and volunteering–which impacted my grades. Post-graduation, I enrolled in medical assisting courses and re-took some science classes to improve my GPA, while working full time. This provided me a second chance to work on my time management, prioritization, and effective studying habits, which is reflected in more recent grades. Given that I am more prepared, mature, and aware of my limits, I am confident that I can succeed in the rigors of a PA school curriculum.
My experiences in shadowing, volunteering, and direct patient care have enhanced my desire and motivation to grow in a career as a PA where I can help heal others through health education and prevention. As a medical assistant, there is some lack of fulfillment in what I do: I lend a listening ear and an understanding heart to patients, but often face time limitations when doing so. My objective is to be the sole provider in these cases whom the patient interacts most with. My purpose is to assist physicians and participate in a patient’s care on a deeper level than I do today–by diagnosing and treating, alleviating pain, establishing trust, and spending ample time listening and educating. I strive to be the one wearing a white coat leading an emergent case to save a little boy’s life one day.
Whitney Prosperi says
L.C.,
You are on your way.
Your introduction is effective. I also like how you tie back to that in your conclusion.
I would suggest condensing throughout your essay, word by word. This takes more time than cutting out big parts of an essay but makes writing sharper. You need to free up some characters to make room to discuss more of your healthcare journey.
What first drew you to the PA profession? Explain more of why you chose the PA profession and why it’s a good fit for you.
In your discussion on shadowing, I would elaborate more on what you learned through that experience. What did you observe from the PA? The supervising physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
You do a good job of discussing your upward trend/improvement with grades.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need further help.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Rida says
Hello, I have reached the character count limit (almost) for my essay but haven’t written an official conclusion. I was wondering if there are certain parts I should cut out so I can have more place to write a conclusion. Thank you.
I developed a fear of hospitals at an early age after witnessing my grandmother’s death on the hospital bed. I grew up with the notion that hospitals are a dangerous place. That all changed at a family party one night. After consuming several samosas at a family party, I started to feel very ill. I began to vomit profusely and had explosive diarrhea all at once. My parents had never seen me in such pain and demanded they take me to a hospital. Even though I was scared, I listened. Once I settled at a hospital bed, a friendly woman wearing a white coat introduced herself as a PA. Her warm smile and kind words brought me comfort. After two bags of IV fluids, one blood test, and one CT scan, the PA diagnosed me with viral gastroenteritis and colitis. She discussed my treatment plan and prescribed me medications to take at home. Her hospitality made me forget about my fears. She changed my perception of hospitals and I began to see them as a place for healing, not hurting. I became inspired to heal others in the same way that the PA healed me. I do not remember her name, but I remember how she made me feel. Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This is a philosophy that I wish to live by.
Once I became fascinated with the world of medicine, I dove into research and volunteer work to learn more. During the summer after 9th grade, I volunteered at The Silvercrest Center for Nursing and Rehabilitation where I was introduced to the PA profession by assisting a PA. I learned that PAs are able to transition between different specialties. This appealed to me because I aspire to gain expertise in multiple medical settings. Next, I volunteered at a primary care office where I learned to take patient vitals and BMI. Having the opportunity to interact with patients while performing these tasks brought me joy. Finally, I volunteered at Northshore University Hospital where I assisted many units of the hospital. My knowledge of the PA profession grew as I witnessed a team of nurses, physicians, and PAs work collaboratively to deliver quality health care to patients. I learned that teamwork is vital in healthcare because it reduces the number of medical errors, increases patient safety, and improves clinical performance.
At Northshore University Hospital, I was trained to provide customer-centered care to patients. I interacted with patients in many different units of the hospital such as oncology, geriatrics, orthopedics, and cardiology. I ran errands around the hospital to transport mail, medical supplies, and lunch for patients. I also sang “Happy Birthday” to patients while hand delivering birthday cards to them. I enjoyed watching their frowns turn to grins as I attempted to sing. I also arranged welcome baskets for new patients to utilize. Sometimes, I helped with office work at the nurses’ station. My favorite part of my volunteer experience was accompanying the patients and listening to their personal stories while I fetched them water and blankets. I encountered patients of many different ages, races, genders, and cultural backgrounds. Connecting with them on a personal level allowed me to understand the humanistic side of medicine.
I am currently working as a full-time MA at a dermatology clinic. When I first applied to PA schools last year, I had just started this position. Since then, I have gained lots of patient care experience at this job. My duties as a MA include entering electronic medical records, preparing exam rooms, and assisting the doctor with procedures. I also do HydraFacial, Cool Sculpt, microdermabrasion, pharos laser, hair laser, and injections on patients. I have strengthened my ability to multitask, work efficiently with a healthcare team, and provide quality care to patients. At the end of each workday, the gratitude I receive from patients is what motivates me to continue pursuing my dream.
During my first years as a biology student at St. John’s University, I was filled with self-doubt. I struggled academically due to my poor study habits and management skills. Instead of letting my grades discourage me, I let them motivate me to work harder. Eventually, my grades began to reflect my hard work and dedication. When it was time to register for my last semester as an undergraduate, I was offered to take a graduate course in biology research. I was pleased to receive this offer because it was presented to only the top students of my program. I entered college feeling like an incompetent student yet graduated with honors and an upward trending GPA. My overall college experience taught me that determination is the key to success.
Whitney Prosperi says
Rida,
You do a good job of showing your initial contact with the PA profession in your introduction.
I will say that when you later talk about the interaction with the PA at the rehab center and refer to it as your introduction that could be confusing since you already referenced meeting the PA as a child. I would just change the wording a little bit to not confuse the reader.
As far as leaving room for your conclusion, I would condense throughout your essay where you can. This takes more time but tightening up word by word sharpens the writing.
I would add a paragraph that describes more about why the PA profession is right for you. What first drew you to the profession? What aspects of it really speak to you? (more time with patients? balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team?)
I would also add a paragraph that details your shadowing experiences. What did you learn from observing this PA? The supervising physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
You do a good job of describing your improvement with your grades.
Your comments about teamwork are also effective.
Lastly, for your conclusion, tie back to your introduction in some way.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need further help.
Good luck!
Elizabeth says
When I realized that I wanted a career in healthcare I knew it was not going to be easy, but I knew it would be worth it. Deciding to become a PA was not decided because of one specific life event, but rather a series of events that have either shown me a new skill or enhanced a trait that I had naturally possessed. I have always loved working with people and had many PA related interests but struggled to know what to do with them. I had also prioritized my education and had achieved much success during school so I knew I had career options. When it came down to it, I wanted to pursue a career that not only interested and challenged me but also provided value and a sense of pride.
I decided that I would like a patient-focused career in which my interests and abilities could be melded together. Choosing the PA profession includes those aspects and allows me to begin a career that allows for lateral mobility and continued growth. I consider myself a well-rounded individual who thrives on learning and am constantly looking for ways to improve myself and grow. For this reason, I have put myself in a variety of settings including a wound care clinic and volunteering in a cancer center.
Through my experience in these different settings and especially while shadowing, I made sure to intently observe and ask questions. I could see that PAs have a great sense of autonomy and collaboration which are both qualities that suit my work ethic and would allow me to prosper in the healthcare profession. Being involved in different teams such as volleyball and dance as well as several clubs and school groups I have seen the value of cooperation when working towards a common goal. Communication is essential and it is important to be able to efficiently communicate. I was chosen as captain of some of these teams and that has shown me how important it is to be confident but also have humility. A captain has to be able to remain optimistic while relating to every player’s struggles. He or she also has to realize that their own ideas may not always be right and they should remain open-minded to other’s thoughts. In the end, it is a team effort. These skills helped me lead my dance team to state my senior year of high school and are skills that I have continued to utilize as I pursue a career.
While volunteering in a cancer recovery program, I had the privilege of working with an elderly woman, while helping her go through a workout regimen. She was a very stubborn woman who was extremely hard to communicate with. She could be cordial but would seldom open up or talk to anyone. After a few visits, I felt that she was slowly warming up to me. During one of these particular visits we were walking and she suddenly started to sob and release all of her bottled up emotions. I hugged her while listening to her, and once again, I saw a transformation in a person that I feel I played a small part in. The sense of pride was overwhelming knowing that my natural skills had come into play.
I do give a lot of credit to the PA I saw regularly while growing up for my decision to pursue this particular path. I loved the way I could open up to her and establish that trust. This experience just solidified the value of trust and communication while being able to diagnose and treat a patient. That connection is something that comes naturally to me. One particular event that emphasizes this trait in me is when a therapist asked me to get someone off of an electrical stimulation machine. The patient had been part of a bad experience with another healthcare provider and the therapist said that she knew that I would make them feel comfortable. I think my ability to put someone at ease in a healthcare setting is a trait that helps a person become the best possible PA.
I would love to be a part of a bridge that helps connect patients with barriers and fears to have access to proper healthcare. Growing up in small-town I have seen some of these barriers such as economical and geographical affect people’s ability to receive adequate healthcare. Working with clients with cognitive disabilities I have also seen the communication barriers that have occurred in a clinical setting and have always found myself alleviating the miscommunication. Being a part of something this big would be amazing, but it is the little moments of gratification that entice me to become a PA.
While interning at a wound care clinic, a patient was brought in after having her toes amputated. She arrived in a wheelchair, unable to walk while suffering from severe depression. I assisted in her treatment and witnessed, after a series of appointments, her transformation from a sad, disabled woman to a happy energetic person who walked out the very door she was once wheeled through. The satisfaction of seeing this improvement in someone that I helped was like nothing I had ever felt.
I am grateful for the experiences that have led me to not only where I am today but shaped me into the person that I strive to be. The PA profession does not only have many intriguing aspects but will allow me to utilize my natural qualities while always striving to become the best version of a PA. Based on the type of person I am as well as what I feel I have to offer to the profession, I did not just choose to pursue the career of being a PA, the career chose me.
Whitney Prosperi says
Elizabeth,
You are off to a good start.
I would suggest condensing where you can, word by word. This will allow you some more characters to further discuss your healthcare journey.
I would elaborate some more on your shadowing experiences. What did you learn from observing this PA? The supervising physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with the patients and physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
You also may want to include more details about how you built your experience. Describe your clinical skills and medical knowledge.
Good luck to you.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need further help.
Joseph Everitt says
I gritted my teeth in pain as the ewe’s contraction clamped down tightly on my arm. Blindly, my fingers searched as I tried to find the lamb’s head in the womb. The ewe bawled as she began another contraction and I felt the crushing pulse rush through my arm again. I shivered as the icy winter wind blew over me. The ewe weakly lifted her head as my Dad held her and attempted to calm her down. I closed my eyes and tried to visualize the lamb’s position. I felt the back feet. Then I worked my way up to its back but the further I got, the harder it was to identify what I was feeling. Everything felt warm and gooey. I strained and tried to pull the back legs of the lamb once again. It would not budge, the lamb was stuck. It was flipped the wrong direction. The only way to deliver the lamb would be to rotate it so it could be delivered headfirst. I sighed in exhaustion. It had been such a long day and now this. Again, I eased my hand in. Slowly probing and searching, then, at last, I found the head! Gently, I began to rotate the lamb. My fingers strained to maneuver in the small space. The ewe’s contractions continued to squeeze my arm as I began to move the lamb around. After what felt like an eternity, the lamb’s head and front legs turned as I pushed the back legs away from me into the womb. Together my Dad and I grabbed the lamb’s front legs and pulled. Relief rushed over me as the lamb slid free, out into the world.
Helping lambs and calves was a common part of life growing up on my family’s farm. My efforts raising animals taught me how important life is. In addition, it helped me improve my attention to detail and increased my desire to care for those around me. Growing up in a small town, I saw the demand for medical professionals in rural areas. As a Physician Assistant, I plan to improve the quality of life of the people in these areas. I could increase the number of opportunities members of a rural community have to interact with and receive help from a healthcare professional.
Working as a certified nursing assistant has increased my desire to care for people. I enjoy knowing that I can make a difference in each person’s life. When I go into a room to assist a resident, we are working together as a patient-provider team to improve their health and wellness. While working in this position, I have noticed I have a natural ability to recognize when patients are feeling poorly, ask the right questions, and act on what I know to make a change. I plan to continue to use this skill in my professional program and my career as a Physician Assistant.
In striving to understand many medical fields, I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in Medical Laboratory Science. This program has opened my eyes to how each part of the medical team works together to provide patient care. I also learned the importance of seeing patients as people rather than names with problems to fix. The knowledge I have gained in my studies and an understanding of diagnostic tests has given me a new perspective that will help me be a better healthcare provider.
After delivering the lamb, my arm ached and several bruises formed. I was muddy and frozen but none of that mattered. I had made a difference. I saw an animal in need and I put forth the effort to provide the help it needed. My desire to help people improve their health and therefore, by extension, their lives provides me with the motivation and fuel that has driven me to become a Physician Assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Joseph,
Your introduction is strong, and you are a good storyteller.
I also like how you tie your conclusion back to the intro.
I would suggest condensing where you can throughout your essay. (trim it word by word) You want to allow some space to include more details about your healthcare journey.
Add a paragraph that tells more about why the PA profession is right for you. What first drew you to the profession? What aspects of it really speak to you? (more time/contact with patients?) The balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team? Explain why you chose the profession and why it’s a good fit for you.
Also, I would add a paragraph that details your shadowing experiences. What did you learn from observing this PA? The physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with the patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
I also think it would be helpful if you told a brief story about an interaction with a special patient who motivated you to increase your scope of practice so you can do more for patients. Show yourself in action performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while personally connecting with a patient.
One last thing- physician assistant is not capitalized, although PA is.
Good luck to you.
Lee says
I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you so much!
Who am I? This was a persisting question that followed me throughout my life. I knew I was more than just a black girl that grew up in the suburbs of Delaware, but my identity remained obscured. There was a time I thought I was a musician, but then the music stopped. I thought I was an athlete, but the days of lacing up my cleats were over. I thought I was a fashion designer, but one day I packed up my sewing machine and never took it out again. I looked for these ephemeral labels to define me, but realized it’s my innate characteristics that make me who I am and will ultimately allow me to become a great physician assistant (PA).
I excitedly followed the medical oncology PA into her patient’s room to observe. The patient, only 19, concerningly sat up in his hospital bed with worry written all over his pale face. Being recently diagnosed with cancer, the patient had a plethora of concerns and questions the PA confidently answered. I was impressed by the amount of time she spent with the patient educating him about his chemotherapy treatment and its side effects, leaving no questions unanswered. I later witnessed the close collaboration between her and the attending physician discussing patients’ treatment plans and prognoses and was impressed by the amount of knowledge she contributed as a PA. As I continued to shadow the PA, I realized she embodied specific characteristics that made her such a good provider. Working as a CNA, these were qualities that my patients helped me find in myself, continuing to further my desire to become a PA.
Mary was one of my very first patients who taught me that my ability to listen and empathize can have a profound effect in a patient’s life. As Mary struggled with the walker towards the bed, tears began to run down her face. I gently rubbed her back, knowing she was disappointed in the weakness in her legs. She began to apologize for her sudden change in mood, noticeably embarrassed by her tears, but I reassured her it was okay and that she could talk to me about whatever was on her mind. As I pulled the warm blankets over her frail body, she began to vent to me about having to tell her children about her terminal cancer diagnosis. After voicing her frustrations, she laid her hand on mine and said to me, “don’t you ever come to this hospital thinking you’re here just to do a job because you never know when you’re making a difference in someone’s life.” Although I was happy to care for her, I felt limited and wanted to do more for my patients like Mary, fueling my desire to become a PA.
Then there was Micheal, an elderly but strong patient who would violently swing his arms in an attempt to resist when the nurse and I would change him. The nurse was unsuccessful at calming him down, so I tried a different approach. I gently rubbed his hand, locked eyes with him, and told him to take a few deep breaths. While consoling him, I explained that bathing him would make him feel more comfortable and reminded him how handsome he would look for his wife when she came to visit. A few moments later, he dropped his arms to his side and began to cooperate. Mr. Andrews taught me the power of human touch and my ability to effectively communicate and its magnitude to change a patient’s attitude.
Rhonda was one of my patients who inspired me the most to continue on the road to PA school.
As I walked into her room, I politely introduced myself. She gazed at me with a wide grin as we waited for her blood pressure reading. “Are you in school?” she asked. I explained to her that I had a bachelor’s degree and was preparing to apply to PA school. She looked at me like a mother would at her own daughter and said to me “I’m so proud of you. You keep doing your thing because we need more people that look like us around here.” As an African American woman, it is so important to me to advocate for cultural competence and diversity within the PA profession. I want to be an advocate for underserved communities. From experience working with the underserved through an internship with the Delaware Department of Substance Abuse and Mental Health and community service with North Carolina MedAssist, I have seen how skin color or lack of money can unfairly be a factor of one’s health. Rhonda reminded me of the courage I have within to advocate for what is right, and I will continue to advocate for my patients as a PA.
My search for identity has been a long and arduous journey, but it is with every patient interaction I learn a little bit more about myself. Working as a CNA has given me the confidence I needed to assure me that I have skills and characteristics it takes to be a PA. I am ready to expand my knowledge and practice medicine as a part of a team. I may no longer play the piano, dribble down the soccer field, or design dresses in my bedroom, but I am now ready to become a physician assistant… the next phase in my evolution.
Whitney Prosperi says
Lee,
I think you are off to a good start.
Your paragraph about what you learned from shadowing is strong.
Your patient care examples are good, although I would tighten this section to free up some characters to allow for more detail about your healthcare journey.
I would add a paragraph that discusses more about why the PA profession is right for you. What first drew you to the profession? What aspects of it really speak to you? (the potential for more time/contact with patients? The balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team?) Write up a paragraph that details why you chose the PA profession and why it’s a good fit for you.
Remember, if you need further help, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. (I’m not saying you need this- just a reminder. :))
Good luck to you.
Deqa Abdi says
For a long time, I suppressed the idea that I could be successful as a physician assistant (PA). While working as a respiratory therapist, I have seen how my patients respond to the care they receive, and the gratification associated with that propels my desire to achieve even more by becoming a physician assistant. I have always felt like I could accomplish and contribute more to the healthcare field. My motivation emanates from my early childhood experiences and dreams of becoming a healthcare worker and improving people’s lives. This dream arose from my admiration for the work that my father did. He was not a trained medical professional, but he learned medical care skills from the women in his family. Although he couldn’t adequately provide for the education and feeding of his 15 children back then, I admired how he executed his duties with integrity and empathy for the less fortunate. He proudly operated according to his principle of empathy, which motivated me to pursue a career in the healthcare field and endeavor to excel in it.
I was born and raised in Somalia, a country that was ravaged by anarchy and civil war. Like millions of other refugees, my parents and I have resettled in America to pursue a better life. When we arrived in the States, we encountered many challenges, including adjusting to a new environment, new system, new culture, and a new language. With all these difficulties, however, the value of hard work, leadership, and fiscal responsibility, which my parents instilled in me, have spurred success and inspired happiness in life. I have put myself through college, successfully graduating with a degree in respiratory care from the University of Minnesota/Mayo School of Health Sciences. I became the first in my family to graduate from higher education. This opened up my path to the world of medicine, which was my childhood dream.
Working alongside physician assistants, medical doctors, nurses, and other healthcare workers has given me an insight into the role of a PA. The experience I have accrued from my volunteering/shadowing and post-university direct patient care as a respiratory therapist has solidified my aspiration of becoming a physician assistant. The skills I acquired have enabled me to execute my duties diligently in various positions of patient care, including leadership roles. Witnessing doctors and PAs work together gave me the push I needed to take the plunge. I have worked alongside physician assistants for years, assisting them alongside other staff surgeons and medical residents in carrying out medical and surgical procedures in the intensive care units. I was intrigued by their partnership and the PA’s ability to work independently yet simultaneously.
There is no accurate scale by which to measure success in life. Equally true is this: although a GPA tells us about students’ academic strengths, it does not reveal the entire picture of their struggle. Eleven years of experience I have gained in the field has built up my confidence and solidified my conviction that I have the tenacity, passion, and perseverance to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. I have not yet reached the zenith of my abilities; becoming a physician assistant is what I am currently yearning for. I want to be of more use to the world, and becoming a PA will enable me to do so as it will expand my expertise in the medical field. I intend to use the skills that I acquire to improve people’s lives by decreasing the severity of their suffering and volunteering my medical services to less privileged people in society. Becoming a physician assistant will grant me the tools that I need to make a difference in the world.
Despite delaying this goal for many years, I am now convinced that I will be successful as a PA. My strong work ethic and resilience will enable me to achieve this goal successfully. My experiences have forged me into a tough, all-around individual who will not let any setback deter her from realizing her potential. Moreover, I am innately driven by compassion in disseminating health care services to people in society. An opportunity to acquire the requisite skills from your distinguished institution is one that I would take with open arms and no reservations as it is known to produce many competent professionals. I, therefore, hope that I will be offered the chance to be molded by your institution.
Whitney Prosperi says
Deqa,
You are off to a good start.
One thought – I would not open with a negative statement that says for years you doubted you would be a successful PA. Instead, I would focus on the strength and resilience that you developed. You clearly have drive and the passion to help people so I would focus instead on your strengths. After all, your family overcame many obstacles, as did you.
In your discussion of working with and shadowing PAs I would describe a patient interaction that inspired you.
Also, if you have grade issues you need to discuss, write a paragraph that comes before the conclusion describing what happened resulting in the grades and what skills you gained that helped you improve. Describe how you will continue that upward trend in PA school.
Also, I would write a paragraph that describes you interacting with a patient who really motivated you to increase your scope of practice so you can do more for patients. Show yourself in action performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient. You want to show how you perform your duties and support patients and what you have to offer patients as a future PA.
I would condense throughout your essay where you can.
You also may want to mention your ability to and desire for collaboration since this is such a big part of the PA role.
Good luck!
Scott Weibye says
Thank you in advance for looking at this. It is my first draft, so any suggestions that you may have are appreciated.
“Was this the right decision?” “You are not a young man anymore, what are you thinking?” I was 46 years old, had been in corrections for over fourteen years, and was about to abandon what was supposed to be my career and go back to college. The company I had been working for came to a mutual decision with the state of Idaho to terminate the prison contract that had been in place for over fourteen years. Kami, my wife, and I had several months to discuss what was next and she supported my decision to go back to school.
I walked out of the Idaho Correctional Center for the last time on June 23, 2014 and it was August now and I was sitting in the back of a lecture hall at the College of Western Idaho. The last time I was in college was in 1992 and to be brutally honest, I lacked direction and any discipline which reflected poorly on my GPA. Gone were the times when I would sit in the back of the auditorium, reality proving that if my grades were going to improve, I needed to move up front because I could not read what the professor was writing as clearly as when I was 24 years old. I knew that I wanted to help people and make a difference, but I still did not know exactly what profession the best fit for me would be. That question would be answered almost exactly three years later and would prove to serve as my motivation to pursue a career as a physician assistant.
It was September of 2017 and my wife and I had been sitting in a small room of the St. Alphonsus Emergency room for what seemed like an eternity. We had dealt with her alcoholism before, but it had never been this bad. For weeks she had been complaining of pain in her upper right abdominal area and her skin was a tinge of yellow. This pain had gotten to the point that she could not sleep through the night and was vomiting constantly. The curtain finally opened, and a middle-aged male physician assistant introduced himself to us as “Joel”. Joel proceeded to explain to us what he suspected was wrong and informed us that we would be there for a while so he could order more tests. I felt so helpless as the words “alcoholic hepatitis” were uttered from Joel’s mouth. I could see the fear on Kami’s face, and I was sure that she could see concern on mine. I had always considered myself as the “rock” in our relationship, but I honestly was not ready for this diagnosis. “Was I going to lose the most important person in my life?” Later that evening, Kami was admitted to the hospital for several days of observation. It was during this period that I had many discussions with Joel about my wife and why he chose to become a physician assistant.
All the reasons that Joel explained to me concerning his career made complete sense. It was during those days at the hospital with Kami that I realized that the autonomy of being a physician assistant, flexible work schedule, less schooling than a physician, and the reduced cost of student loans were the perfect fit for me at this particular time in our life. Joel had also mentioned that he was wanting to specialize in pediatrics the following year. This is an aspect of a physician assistant that I had never considered. Being able to continually grow and gain knowledge of other specialties was something that I had truly enjoyed about returning to school later in life. I am also a firm believer in preventative medicine and feel that this philosophy has its place in all specialties. I have always followed a healthy lifestyle and would like to incorporate this passion into whatever specialty I am involved with at a given time. The desire to constantly learn and challenge myself while helping others would allow for a never-ending passion as a physician assistant. Being “older”, I do not have the time for medical school, nor do I wish to accumulate the debt that is attributed with pursuing the degree of an M.D. or D.O. this late in life. I have always considered myself a good communicator, even while working at the prison I found a sense of accomplishment when listening to the concerns and helping the inmates that were incarcerated. Another factor is the quality of time that being a physician assistant will allow me with Kami. Just as Joel had demonstrated with Kami and I, being able to spend more time with the patients allowed for better communication and a sense of ease and comfort and was a trait that I admired and since have aspired for. This would also give me a greater understanding of my wife’s health issues and decrease that sense of helplessness that had overcome me when first confronted with her diagnosis.
In March of 2018 I began working as a psychiatric technician at Intermountain Hospital in Boise, Idaho. Intermountain Hospital is a behavioral health hospital and Kami, my wife, had spent some time in and out of hospitals just like this one, so I figured that this would be a great place to acquire my patient care hours and work around physician assistants. Being a psychiatric technician enabled me to work closely with many different types of patients. The hospital has an intensive care unit which cares for actively suicidal patients, patients who are going through withdrawal, and patients who had more serious forms of mental illness. This is the unit where I first began working and in certain ways, it was like what I had dealt with in prison. Many of the patients were aggressive and those that were not, needed constant supervision due to their mental health issues. My communication skills that I had acquired working in corrections were essential and I enjoyed working with the different patient care teams in establishing and following a productive course of action so that the patient could make a successful return to their previous life. I was able to follow their progress through multiple community meetings and the constant one on one contact which involved taking vitals, ensuring that they were taking their medications, and security and welfare checks throughout each shift. During my employment with Intermountain Hospital, I worked in each of the units that Intermountain Hospital operates, which each of them having their own nuances. The acute adult unit housed both male and female patients and focused on less serious mental or behavioral issues ranging from coping mechanisms to patients who had neglected their medication for periods of time. Generations housed both elderly male and female patients and primarily focused on issues such as dementia, Alzheimer’s, and severe depression. New Start, is an addiction unit, ranging from alcoholism, meth addiction, heroin addiction, and opiate addiction. I enjoyed working on this unit because I felt as if I could more closely relate to the patients due to my wife’s alcoholism. Working on this unit also allowed me greater insight into the treatments that my wife was receiving or had received in the past. Intermountain Hospital also has a female adolescent unit and a male adolescent unit which is where I was first introduced to treating not only the individual, but the family unit as well. I appreciated my time on these adolescent units because I felt as if I had the opportunity to make a change and difference earlier in the lives of these patients. Being able to work with the physicians, physician assistants, nurses, and various counselors and social workers on these units provided me a sense of accomplishment through the teamwork that each professional displayed. My work at this hospital also allowed me the time to speak to many physician assistants and to get a feel for not only why they chose this career, but also as to the value that each one of them added to the various patient care teams. By working closely with each of the physician assistants, I developed a greater appreciation for their work flexibility, their ability to work among many different specialties within the hospital, and the amount of time and dedication that each of them gave to their patients. Listening to them as they evaluated each patient’s progress and the positive reinforcements and hope that they instilled in their patients, reaffirmed my choice to pursue a career as a physician assistant.
Overall, I feel as though life itself has been my greatest teacher. I am not a young man anymore and with that I have acquired the patience and understanding that allows me to understand that I do not know everything and at times the best thing that each of us can do is to place ourselves in someone else’s shoes. People deserve compassion and understanding which can be accomplished by just listening and not assuming that we understand. As a physician assistant, I will bring this maturity with me and share it with each patient, which I feel allows for the trust and sense of comfort that every patient needs when seeking our advice.
Whitney Prosperi says
Scott,
I think you are off to a good start.
I would advise moving the discussion about your grades to later in the essay so that the committee gets a sense of your strengths first. Make that the paragraph that comes right before your conclusion.
You do a good job of showing your initial introduction to the PA profession.
I would condense throughout your essay, tightening up where you can.
Also, rather than use the characters to discuss why you are not going the MD route just focus on why you are a great fit for the PA role.
I would add some more details about why you will excel at combining clinical expertise with a personal touch to support patients.
You may want to also mention your desire to collaborate with a healthcare team somewhere in your essay. Just a thought- you could mention your experience working with and relying on your team in corrections.
Good luck to you.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need more help.
Sana says
This is a rough draft, please let me know what you think
Life is a series of turning points, a collaboration of dark moments that after starving us of light only serves to compel us to pursue great light. July 23rd, 2015 launched my series of turning points. My childhood is entombed by hospital walls. I cannot remember a time where my father was not struggling with diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease. With my freshman year of high school came my father’s diagnosis of Pulmonary Fibrosis. Although I was aware of the severity of the disease, it never crossed my mind that I might actually lose him. By high school graduation, his deteriorating health could not be ignored, and before the ceremony, he had to be rushed to the hospital as a result of an asthma attack. Graduation celebrations were quickly replaced by long nights at his bedside. Such nights allowed my first interactions with Carey, a critical care Physician Assistant, my father but one of her many patients.
After spending a few rigorous nights in critical care, my father was moved into a rehab unit in order to promote lung reparation. On his last day at CCU, Carey came to see him off. The connection she nurtured between him and our family remains unmatched. Witnessing her impact sparked my interest in pursuing medicine. Carey used her position to craft a sense of safety, comfort, and overall reassurance. The patience and care exhibited by her did more than leaving a lasting impression, it gave my family strength that we could not generate alone. A month passed, my father stabilized. However, a week before his projected release, my dad’s body began attacking itself. His organs began to shut down, and cell replication stopped. My father’s grasp on life was slipping from him before our eyes. I watched my mother sign the DNR, and on July 23rd my father was gone.
Three months spent at the hospital opened both my eyes and heart to a career in medicine. Before Carey, I had no idea what a PA was, but meeting her initiated research that gave my life direction. Through this research, I discovered that becoming a PA permits maximum benefits in the medical field: It allows the opportunity to assist people through their illnesses while still preserving personal time. The flexibility of specialties appeals to me because I pride myself on my desire to expand upon my knowledge regarding medicinal areas. This is my purpose in life, and I intend to aid, diagnose, and treat patients while using my position as a PA as a vehicle to do so.
An extremely unfortunate experience aided in my pursuit in becoming a PA. One of greatest problems with today’s health care system is access to medical care in underserved populations. In 2018 I was afforded the privilege of joining a medical brigade in Honduras. Working in triage and checking over two thousand patients with no access to healthcare, only provided clarity in what I hope to achieve as a PA. During this time, there existed the opportunity of shadowing doctors, as well as different medical professionals throughout the field. As a physician assistant, I intend to provide affordable healthcare to underserved families and communities
This is my second year of applying to PA school. Over the last year, I have been working as a medical assistant in a Primary Care setting. Dr. Falanga is a PCP specializing in geriatrics. My responsibilities as an MA include performing EKGs, administering vaccines, taking vital signs, and medical history, renewing prescriptions and completing prior authorizations. Not only have I learned clinical care duties but I have learned the importance of strong patient and healthcare professional connections. Connected patients experience reduced stress, better adherence to treatment plans, and have better outcomes. As a medical assistant, I call the patient in, check vitals, BMI, and create a note before they see the physician. I have learned the critical importance of establishing an emotional connection with patients. Expressing empathy and listening intensely are two very important skills to have.
While shadowing PAs I have seen them work under the supervision of a doctor while maintaining independence in order to diagnose and treat just as many patients. Shadowing PA Qureshi has opened my eyes to this and contributed to continuing a career in the medical field. Long hours caring for patients has taught me much about who I am, as well as who I can be for others. I am confident that my perseverance, eagerness, and experience will not only result in my success in your rigorous program, but also in the character of the PA I hope to one day be. This opportunity is the light succeeding the darkest moment in my life, and my goal is to harness in order to assist, console and reach as many people as becoming a PA allows.
Whitney Prosperi says
Sana,
I think you are off to a good start.
Your beautiful introduction about your father is powerful. You do a good job of showing your introduction to the PA profession and your desire to help others as Carey helped your family.
I would condense throughout your essay where you can, including your introduction.
Also, where you discuss your ability to connect with patients, I would also include a story that shows you doing just that. Include a patient interaction that shows you personally providing support or reassurance while providing clinical care of some kind to a patient.
Also, I would write a specific paragraph regarding your shadowing experience. Describe the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician. Explain how this experience further confirmed your decision to pursue the PA path.
I’m not saying you need this, but we are taking submissions for our essay revisions should you need further help.
Good luck to you!
Farnoosh Nadalizadeh says
What contributes to a person’s health is beyond their individual choices and needs to be treated as such. This belief led me to study Public Health Sciences where I learned the foundation of medicine. I was not the child who knew exactly what they wanted to be when they grew up. Experiences in my life have gradually honed my values and passions into a sharp focal point; becoming a physician assistant (PA).
Being an immigrant and first generation college student has given me unique insight and taught valuable life lessons. My interest in healthcare began in middle school where I saw my grandmother battling Alzheimer’s disease. Living in Iran, she experienced several hardships including losing a daughter and husband. I wondered if these experiences influenced her diagnosis and prognosis. This question built inside me a curiosity of the body, brain, environment, and how they contribute to overall health.
The COPE program at St. Joseph’s Hospital opened the doors for me to get a taste of what it takes to be a part of a healthcare team. To be eligible for this opportunity, I participated and thrived in didactics and clinical training as well as examinations. From the first shift as a health scholar, helping the CNAs and patients, I felt a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction I had not known before. The love and compassion in that hospital shaped my perspective of medicine and fostered an interest in learning beyond a patient’s diagnosis.
As a health scholar at COPE, I shadowed PAs for various procedures and most importantly their patient interactions. I noticed the autonomy they had in their roles and the advantage of collaborating with their PA peers, expanding their overall clinical knowledge. Seeing my enthusiasm for learning, PAs with different specialties shared how their various backgrounds have helped them to provide well-rounded care. This experience solidified my interest in the PA profession.
Among all patients I helped, once I came across a homeless patient who needed wound care after discharge. I spent hours convincing insurance that a patient should not be denied access to healthcare just because she doesn’t have an address on file. Helping the disadvantaged opened my eyes to the gap between healthcare and community service that needs to be filled to ensure healthier communities.
Another impactful interaction that further ignited my passion for the PA profession was when I went with my mother to see a neurology PA. I vividly recall seeing the art of patient communication within her practice. Her ability to clarify complex ideas in simple words to my mom despite cultural and educational differences was beautiful and continues to inspire me.
The autonomy in the PA profession allows me to practice medicine from a holistic approach. Collaborating with PAs and other providers in an interdisciplinary approach will expand my knowledge pool and ensure patients receive the best treatment. Becoming a PA allows me to experience more than one specialty and have an extensive view of the etiology of diseases. The broader outlook interconnects different specialties as a system in the same way that the human body operates. The more harmonious the parts are, the more efficient the body will be. My goal as a PA is to connect healthcare and community service, target the root of the disease and integrate preventive care into my practice focusing on underserved communities.
A patient’s disease is not always a reflection of their choices. From childhood watching my family caring for my grandmother, to experience helping disadvantaged in a healthcare setting, and the memorable experience with the neurology PA led me to follow the PA path. Diligence and enthusiasm to learn has shaped my path so far and will continue to help me as I become a PA who has autonomy that leads to her satisfaction, collaborates with peers to provide the best care for patients, and interconnects specialties for a broader outlook of the disease etiology. Of course, success cannot be gained without doubt and hardship, but my perseverance toward reaching my goal provides me with the confidence and pride I carry today and continues to serve me well through my PA journey.
Farnoosh Nadalizadeh says
Hi, thank you for helping us in our PA journey. I appreciate any tips from you guys.
Whitney Prosperi says
Farnoosh,
You are off to a great start! I can see your developing interest in healthcare throughout your essay.
You also do a good job of describing what you observed from shadowing experiences.
I would add some details about your clinical experience. Also, you may want to elaborate on why you will excel at combining clinical expertise with a personal touch to support your patients.
Good luck to you.
Patty says
Fear does not discriminate. This emotion spans across all medical specialties and affects patients and providers alike. Patients with traumatic injuries wonder how they will recover, people try not to assume the worst when dealing with ongoing symptoms, and providers worry if their suggested treatment method will succeed. Whether medically related or not, we have all had moments of heart pounding, stomach churning, all-consuming fear. I have tried to face my fears head on for my entire life. When given the choice, I have always pushed the boundaries of my discomfort because I liked the challenge. But sometimes you do not get a choice. Like so many women my age, I am a survivor of sexual assault. I was 20 years old, studying abroad in Australia, when I came face to face with a fear that I was not equipped to handle. My new relationship with fear made me feel trapped, leading to academic consequences while abroad and in the following semesters at my home institution. Thankfully I was able to overcome this obstacle, but I decided from that moment on that I did not want to simply pursue a career in the medical field. I wanted to ensure that, within the field, I would always be in a position to help others alleviate their fears.
I never realized just how much this decision would affect me or influence my future career in medicine, but it really changed the trajectory of my life. I was steered towards volunteer opportunities at Hospice of Dayton and with Crisis Text Line, which both dealt with vulnerable populations experiencing fear. These volunteer opportunities represented everything I was passionate about, as I was able to work in a diverse environment and through each opportunity I gained general medical knowledge and vocabulary used in fields such as palliative care, geriatrics, and psychiatry. It was also during this time that I was introduced to the physician assistant profession which perfectly embodied what I was looking for in a career. I would be able to help my patients move past their fears regarding their current prognosis or future diagnosis. I could combine my empathetic and resilient nature with my love of learning and passion for science.
For the past two years I have worked as an emergency department medical scribe. In this position I have been exposed to many patient-provider interactions. I have witnessed how physician assistants prioritize and comfort their patients and explain the medical plan in detail. Even when there is no conclusive diagnosis, these patients and their families still leave the emergency department satisfied. People want to be heard and physician assistants want to listen. Being a part of these interactions has only amplified my desire to become a physician assistant and has motivated me to continuously find ways to strengthen myself as an applicant. I have known for most of my life that I wanted a career in the medical field, but it was not until learning and being exposed to physician assistants that I was able to visualize a career that also incorporated the newly found ideals I had surrounding patient care.
My pathway to the physician assistant profession has not changed since the last application cycle. However, when it became clear that I would need to reapply, I thoroughly reviewed my application and identified areas in which I could improve. I immediately started to formulate plans to strengthen my application further and prove how dedicated I was to the field. When I could no longer find in-person volunteer opportunities I started volunteering online. I enrolled in two higher level psychology courses online to expand my knowledge on the subject. Other plans have been postponed due to COVID-19, but I plan to continue strengthening my application throughout this next year. While traveling abroad, I faced a monster I never thought I could and experienced personal growth only capable through overcoming challenges. This growth meant knowing exactly what type of lifestyle I want for my future, which is a life of conquering my fears, no matter the circumstance, and helping others do the same.
Whitney Prosperi says
Patty,
I can sense your resilience and passion to help others throughout your essay.
I know you will be a compassionate provider who inspires others through your strength.
I would suggest condensing where you can so you can add some additional elements to your essay.
First, if you have any shadowing experience, describe that. Add a paragraph that details your shadowing experience. What did you learn from observing this PA? The physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
I would also move the mention of your grades to a specific paragraph and place it as the second to last. Explain any study skills/time management skills that helped you raise your grades and show how you will continue that trend in a rigorous PA program.
I would also add a few lines that explain why you will excel at combining clinical expertise with a personal touch to support patients.
Also, somewhere in your essay I would mention your desire to collaborate with a healthcare team since this is such an integral part of the PA role.
I wish you luck on your journey!
Nicole Po says
I could not find my original post, so I commented it again, sorry!
In Junior year of high school, I watched helplessly as Victoria, my piano teacher of 10 years, lost her prowess on the keys due to a devastating stroke. Despite her loss of dexterity and mental clarity, she persevered and under her guidance/instruction, I placed first at the Performing Arts Festival of the Eastside that year, playing Rachmaninoff’s First Piano Concerto.Though characteristically terse, she expressed, “you toiled over every measure and it showed. That is an encouragement to myself.” I was proud to be an inspiration to my mentor and give back in this way, but I saw that her medical condition continued to deteriorate. As an elderly woman, an immigrant, a single mother raising a bipolar daughter, she struggled to get medical care and was often dismissed. While I was glad that my music-making could provide her encouragement, I wished that I had the clinical skills to care for and advocate for patients like Victoria.
I am no stranger to the medical field as my mother is a nurse, but I wanted to be sure of the role I wanted to play in the healthcare team. I sought out ways to immerse myself in the vast landscape of healthcare. During my time as a volunteer with the Seattle King County Clinic, I met Mr. and Mrs. C, an elderly Chinese couple. They relayed to me, in Mandarin, how they, along with hundreds of people who could not afford medical care, waited in the line outside of Seattle Center starting the day before, for free basic medical and dental services. I was alarmed to see how many people were in desperate need of these services despite the abundance of medical facilities in the region. This experience greatly contributed to my desire to become a physician assistant (PA), as their mission is to improve and expand the health care system by providing cost-effective care. Furthermore, they increase access to primary care, and they have the flexibility to practice in various specialties depending on the need of the population.
When I became a scribe at a pain management clinic, Mr. D became a face I saw regularly. He presented with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome in his left lower extremity that began to take a toll on his mental health. He expressed his thankfulness that I diligently summarized all the notes faxed from his physical therapist, primary care provider, surgeon, and podiatrist, and as we worked together to get to the bottom of his case. Not only could he use these notes to help his providers quickly learn the important contributions from other providers, he could better understand his own diagnosis. My encounter with Mr. D made me appreciate the aspect of effective teamwork in medicine.
I soon desired to play a more direct role in our patients’ care. In between scribing, I asked the medical assistants (MAs) where I could help and quickly learned how to room patients, draw up medication for procedures, and call in prescriptions, among other tasks. One Sunday while checking work emails, I saw an urgent question from our patient, Ms. R about whether she could take aspirin before her Platelet Rich Plasma procedure.I was able to answer immediately because I had received additional training. I saw furthering my medical education allowed me to provide patients with confident and accurate advice. I knew I had to go on to PA school where I could receive more training to be a helpful resource to my patients.
The medical knowledge I gained while scribing, medical assisting, and volunteering gave me newfound energy to thoroughly absorb coursework so that I could apply it to clinical cases. Prior to this experience, I had an incomplete picture of how my classes related to me being a PA, and my motivation waned even though I graduated high school as an AP scholar with distinction and graduated 50th in a class of 526. However, my work experience changed how I viewed studying, and I persevered through the rest of my undergraduate career, absorbing and imagining how I could apply this knowledge to practice.
Though dissimilar mediums, teaching piano students over the last seven years has prepared me to to appreciate the humanistic nature of medicine. Through the different ethnicities, various age groups, unique learning styles and personalities of my students—I learned to embrace the diverse ideas brought to every lesson, how to connect with various personalities, communicate points across, and hold to my goal of making lessons accessible. I realize that this is the underlying reason I love teaching piano. Being able to genuinely connect and care for others is something I desire for my future. Understanding that medicine is more than medical treatment, that it involves connecting with patients’ psychologically and culturally, drives me to the field. I hope to harness the same energy I have as a piano teacher to deliver quality patient care as a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Nicole,
Your opening is effective in showing your desire to connect with and help people. I also like the section where you talk about collaborating with your team to help Mr. D.
I see your passion for expanding access to healthcare to underserved groups.
I would condense where you can and add a paragraph about shadowing PAs. (If you do not have shadowing experience, describe some interactions with PAs you have worked with.)
In the paragraph on shadowing I would describe what you learned from observing the PA. The physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? Describe how this experience confirmed your desire to become a PA.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need further help.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Nicole Po says
In Junior year of high school, I watched helplessly as Victoria, my piano teacher of 10 years, lost her physical prowess on the keys due to a devastating stroke. Despite her loss of dexterity and mental clarity, she persevered and as a result of her dedication, I placed first in my division at the Performing Arts Festival of the Eastside that year, playing Rachmaninoff’s First Piano Concerto. Though characteristically terse, she expressed, “ you toiled over every measure and it showed. That is an encouragement to myself.” But as an elderly woman, an immigrant, a single mother raising a bipolar daughter, she struggled to get medical care and was often dismissed. While I was glad that my music-making could provide her encouragement, I wished that I had the clinical skills to care for and advocate for patients like Victoria.
I am no stranger to the medical field as my mother is a nurse, but I wanted to be sure of the role I wanted to play in the healthcare team. I sought out ways to immerse myself in the vast landscape of healthcare. During my time as a volunteer with the Seattle King County Clinic, I met Mr. and Mrs. C, an elderly Chinese couple who lived a mile from my home. They relayed to me in Mandarin how they, along with hundreds of people who could not afford medical care, waited in the line outside of Seattle Center starting the day before, for free basic medical and dental services. They reminded me of the plight of my own parents when they immigrated to America, speaking limited English, with only $200 each in their pockets. I was alarmed to see how many people were desperately in need of these services despite the abundance of medical facilities in the region. This experience greatly contributed to my desire to become a physician assistant (PA), as their mission is to improve and expand the health care system by making care cost-effective. Furthermore, they increase access to primary care, and they have the flexibility to practice in various specialties depending on the need of the population.
When I became a scribe at a pain management clinic, Mr. D became a face I saw regularly in the clinic. He presented with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome in his left lower extremity that began to take a toll on his mental health. He expressed his thankfulness that I diligently summarized all the notes faxed from his physical therapist, primary care provider, surgeon, and podiatrist, and as we worked together to get to the bottom of his case. Not only could he use these notes to help his providers quickly learn the important contributions from other providers, he could better understand his own diagnosis. My encounter with Mr. D made me appreciate the aspect of effective teamwork in medicine.
I soon desired to play a more direct role in our patients’ care. In between scribing, I asked the medical assistants (MAs) where I could help, and quickly learned how to room patients, draw up medication for procedures, and call in prescriptions, among other tasks. One Sunday while checking work emails, I saw an urgent question from our patient, Ms. R about whether she could take aspirin before her Platelet Rich Plasma procedure, which I was able to answer immediately because I had the additional training. I saw how more training allowed me to better provide patients with confident and accurate advice. I knew that I had to go on to PA school where I could receive more training to be a helpful resource to my patients.
The medical knowledge I gained while scribing, medical assisting, and volunteering gave me newfound energy to thoroughly absorb coursework so that I could apply it to clinical cases. Prior to this experience, I had an incomplete picture of how my classes related to me being a PA, and my motivation waned even though I graduated high school as an AP scholar with distinction and graduated 50th in a class of 526. However, my work experience changed how I viewed studying, and I persevered through the rest of my undergraduate career, absorbing and imagining how I could apply this knowledge to practice.
Finally, I believe that teaching a studio of piano students over the last seven years has prepared me to meet medicine’s unique requirement of understanding patients psychologically and culturally, not only biologically. Different ethnicities, various age groups, unique learning styles and personalities — I learned to embrace the diverse ideas brought to every lesson, how to connect with various personalities, communicate points across, and hold to my goal of making lessons accessible. I hope to harness the same energy to deliver quality patient care.
As a PA, there are countless areas to practice in, countless opportunities for growth and learning, while serving the needs of others. I want to become a PA so that I can use my science, music, and teaching background to provide the most excellent care, empathetically and holistically.
Matthew Jarecki says
I have done a few revisions to this essay so far, but the word count is still a little bit too long. The count is at 5,168 characters with spaces right now. Thank-you for looking at this essay and any feedback is very appreciated!
“You aren’t good enough. You still need more work.” These harsh words of my high school coach echoed through my mind as I was once again put on the JV baseball team. I was crushed; however, despite my disappointment, I refused to quit. This was the moment I decided hard work and passion would ensure I would never again be told I was not good enough. Seven years after those words were spoken to me I was playing professional baseball in the Detroit Tigers organization after a college career in which I was named All-American, Conference Player of the Year, and four time 1st Team All-Conference. Now I am chasing a new dream to become a physician assistant (PA). I have never been a person who is comfortable with being average. My parents always challenged me to be the best I could be with the gifts that God gave me. I was not the most gifted athlete, but I was the hardest working and possessed the drive to excel. Cultivating human life as a PA, just as in the game of baseball, involves hard work, an open mind, and the drive to get back into the box after a big swing and miss.
The PA profession has always appealed to me because it is a field that requires continuous learning and creativity. PA’s become better providers and leaders through learning from their mistakes; this requires a persistent drive to never settle for average. Baseball has taught me many life lessons about perseverance, failure, and teamwork. As a career baseball player, I have never settled for the easy path. There is always something that can be improved or tweaked, and most of the time for me it was countless hours in a batting cage by myself trying to understand the way my body moved and watching film of my swing. This is not unlike the vocation of a PA. A PA has an autonomy in providing medical care which is a crucial responsibility. One must put in the time and the work to seek out learning experiences both in the workplace and in the form of research so that patients are receiving the best possible care. I am also intrigued by the team aspect of medicine. Knowing that a group of like-minded individuals can discover and treat a condition is the most exciting part of the PA profession to me. I have always enjoyed the team aspect in baseball because sometimes the only way to fix certain struggles is to listen to a teammate who noticed a slight adjustment that needs to be made.
As an individual with an analytical mind, I have always been curious about the cellular processes in the body that produce symptoms so, the classes that most intrigued me in college were molecular biology, immunology, physiology, and microbiology. In baseball I have always looked at the entire mechanism of the swing. Involved in the swing are the hips, core, hands, legs, and mind. Each part is an important piece in a good swing and if one is out of place the swing will follow suit. Like the human body, for the whole to work in unison, everything from the cells to the organs must be functioning properly. As a provider, an understanding of the body at the smallest level is important to realize the cascade effects.
During college I earned my EMT certification, which I had planned on using to gain patient care experience; however, shortly thereafter God presented me with the incredible opportunity to play professional baseball. I placed my plans to apply for PA school on hold so that I could shift my focus to excel my baseball career at a professional level. During the offseason, to prepare for PA school, I worked as a behavioral health technician. Experiencing a 24-bed acute psych unit was a new experience and out of my comfort zone. In one instance, I was faced with three patients that were in acute psychosis with hallucinations all beginning to escalate. Between two nurses and myself, we had to deescalate the situation before somebody was hurt. I remember this experience because we were able to administer medication safely, preventing injury. This experience drove me to think about what was going on in each patient’s brain to cause those hallucinations and delusions; and I wondered what the medications did to calm the patients down. One of the most amazing things about working on an inpatient psych unit was being able to see patients progress from acute psychosis to discharge because the team of medical professionals were able to diagnose and treat them.
Through my life experience of meticulously analyzing every aspect of my baseball game and swing mechanism, my mind has become enamored with needing to know how the body works. As a PA I will utilize my analytical and perceptive capabilities when diagnosing and treating patients. Additionally, collaboration is an essential aspect of this profession and this is something that I have thrived in throughout my baseball and healthcare experience. As a PA my patients will benefit from my attention to detail, unique outlook and experience on a professional team, ability to listen and see the entire picture, and determination to never settle for average. I am ready to hang up the uniform, to put on a white coat, and be part of a new team that treats the whole person and not just the swing.
Whitney Prosperi says
Matthew,
I think you do a good job of pulling your drive and passion for improvement into your pursuit of the PA profession. I also like how you show your desire for collaboration. I think talking about your baseball experience and drive to excel is effective.
I would condense where you can and then add a paragraph that discusses any shadowing opportunities of PAs you have had. What did you learn from observing this PA? The physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
Good luck to you.
Matthew J says
I think I have a good start on my essay. I have reviewed it a few times and decreased the total character count. I am still at 5,168 characters (including spaces), so a little too long. I was wondering if there are places that I can condense and not lose the overall feel of the essay. Any feedback or criticism is appreciated! Thank-you for your help!
“You aren’t good enough. You still need more work.” These harsh words of my high school coach echoed through my mind as I was once again put on the JV baseball team. I was crushed; however, despite my disappointment, I refused to quit. This was the moment I decided hard work and passion would ensure I would never again be told I was not good enough. Seven years after those words were spoken to me I was playing professional baseball in the Detroit Tigers organization after a college career in which I was named All-American, Conference Player of the Year, and four time 1st Team All-Conference. Now I am chasing a new dream to become a physician assistant (PA). I have never been a person who is comfortable with being average. My parents always challenged me to be the best I could be with the gifts that God gave me. I was not the most gifted athlete, but I was the hardest working and possessed the drive to excel. Cultivating human life as a PA, just as in the game of baseball, involves hard work, an open mind, and the drive to get back into the box after a big swing and miss.
The PA profession has always appealed to me because it is a field that requires continuous learning and creativity. PA’s become better providers and leaders through learning from their mistakes; this requires a persistent drive to never settle for average. Baseball has taught me many life lessons about perseverance, failure, and teamwork. As a career baseball player, I have never settled for the easy path. There is always something that can be improved or tweaked, and most of the time for me it was countless hours in a batting cage by myself trying to understand the way my body moved and watching film of my swing. This is not unlike the vocation of a PA. A PA has an autonomy in providing medical care which is a crucial responsibility. One must put in the time and the work to seek out learning experiences both in the workplace and in the form of research so that patients are receiving the best possible care. I am also intrigued by the team aspect of medicine. Knowing that a group of like-minded individuals can discover and treat a condition is the most exciting part of the PA profession to me. I have always enjoyed the team aspect in baseball because sometimes the only way to fix certain struggles is to listen to a teammate who noticed a slight adjustment that needs to be made.
As an individual with an analytical mind, I have always been curious about the cellular processes in the body that produce symptoms so, the classes that most intrigued me in college were molecular biology, immunology, physiology, and microbiology. In baseball I have always looked at the entire mechanism of the swing. Involved in the swing are the hips, core, hands, legs, and mind. Each part is an important piece in a good swing and if one is out of place the swing will follow suit. Like the human body, for the whole to work in unison, everything from the cells to the organs must be functioning properly. As a provider, an understanding of the body at the smallest level is important to realize the cascade effects.
During college I earned my EMT certification, which I had planned on using to gain patient care experience; however, shortly thereafter God presented me with the incredible opportunity to play professional baseball. I placed my plans to apply for PA school on hold so that I could shift my focus to excel my baseball career at a professional level. During the offseason, to prepare for PA school, I worked as a behavioral health technician. Experiencing a 24-bed acute psych unit was a new experience and out of my comfort zone. In one instance, I was faced with three patients that were in acute psychosis with hallucinations all beginning to escalate. Between two nurses and myself, we had to deescalate the situation before somebody was hurt. I remember this experience because we were able to administer medication safely, preventing injury. This experience drove me to think about what was going on in each patient’s brain to cause those hallucinations and delusions; and I wondered what the medications did to calm the patients down. One of the most amazing things about working on an inpatient psych unit was being able to see patients progress from acute psychosis to discharge because the team of medical professionals were able to diagnose and treat them.
Through my life experience of meticulously analyzing every aspect of my baseball game and swing mechanism, my mind has become enamored with needing to know how the body works. As a PA I will utilize my analytical and perceptive capabilities when diagnosing and treating patients. Additionally, collaboration is an essential aspect of this profession and this is something that I have thrived in throughout my baseball and healthcare experience. As a PA my patients will benefit from my attention to detail, unique outlook and experience on a professional team, ability to listen and see the entire picture, and determination to never settle for average. I am ready to hang up the uniform, to put on a white coat, and be part of a new team that treats the whole person and not just the swing.
Lani Rogers says
Hello, thank you in advance for looking over my personal statement. I just finished it recently and am looking forward to any suggestions or changes you may have.
Growing up as the daughter of two educators, there was never a doubt in my mind that I would follow a different career path. I realized at a young age that I wanted to pursue a career in healthcare; however, I was unsure of which area of healthcare to choose. I acknowledged that this journey in discovering myself and my passions would become difficult, but ultimately worth it. I am envious of those who can recall the specific moment they realized they wanted to become a healthcare professional, because my decision to choose this profession did not come as simply. From high school until the first year of my undergraduate career I had chosen to follow the career path of becoming a nurse practitioner. I often found myself questioning if I was headed towards the right direction that would fulfill my aspirations; but after shadowing a physician assistant at a local urgent care, it came clearly that this new career path is the path I wanted to take. Observing things such as personal relationships with the patients, responsibilities, and the medical experiences that occurred in a typical day of a physician assistant confirmed my desire to pursue this profession.
Upon entering my undergraduate career, I didn’t anticipate the academic difficulties, personal obstacles, and lessons that I would soon learn over the next four years; however, these experiences helped shape me into the person I am today. During my most difficult semester, I developed anxiety as a result of overestimating my capabilities to balance school, work and campus ministry involvement. Although the outcome of this particular semester resulted in a slight drop in my GPA, I do not intend to make excuses for my academic shortcomings. Instead, I wish to embrace the growth and determination that have derived from it. Following this emotionally and academically demanding semester, a feeling of total defeat was replaced with the motivation to overcome, along with the introduction of a balance of academics, social life, and involvement in campus ministry that was right for me. Above all, I now prioritize my physical and mental health as the previous semester had evolved a detrimental effect in these two areas of my life.
The love and passion I have for healthcare grew most during my employment as a certified nursing assistant at the local medical center. Although most of my responsibilities were medically simple, such as monitoring vitals and checking blood sugars, the relationships built with patients were anything but. My most memorable patient experience occurred when a middle-aged man was admitted due to a traumatic motorcycle accident. Having been put on fourteen liters of oxygen along with multiple broken ribs, everyday tasks for him were difficult. Allotting time each day to properly care for him and converse with him resulted in a drastic behavior change. His attitude and motivation shifted from not even wanting to get out of bed to eventually pushing himself to walk longer distances each day. Currently, we keep in touch and have a personal relationship, encouraging one another to continually better ourselves. Experiences like these, which result in more personal relationships with patients, make the impact healthcare workers have more apparent.
In search of which healthcare career I wanted to pursue, shadowing is what confirmed my decision. Being given the opportunity to shadow a physician assistant in an urgent care setting, I knew that this journey was the right one for me. While shadowing I observed x-rays of various body parts, suturing of wounds, a case of chickenpox, administration of EKGs and a man who was rammed in the chest by a bull who miraculously had zero fractures. Besides these interesting cases, with every single case I got to observe what it is to be a physician assistant. Respectfully welcoming and addressing patient concerns, physical evaluations, answering of any questions, patient diagnosis, prescribing of medications and educating the patient is just a small portion of the role a physician assistant plays. These interactions with patients, although short and simple, drew me towards this profession.
Working at a medical center with the addition of shadowing, I have learned immensely about the physician assistant profession. Due to these experiences, I believe I have developed skills which are imperative to this career path. I have immense respect for anyone who chooses to pursue a career in healthcare, not only during times like the present in which a pandemic is occurring, but all the time. It would be an honor to become a physician assistant. Although the job can be challenging, it is comforting to know that at the end of your shift you made a difference, no matter how small.