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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (25th April 2024): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers, having worked over ten years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
sharan wadhwa says
Need help with CASPA essay and personal statement. Do I need to submit draft or I can send bullet points to include in the application.
What will be the total cost of the service ??
Whitney Prosperi says
Sharan,
You can post your full essay here for free comments/tips regarding your essay.
All of our other services are described on the website.
Good luck to you!
Grace Tat says
Hi! I wasn’t sure if I posted on the right comments section last time, but if I did, then ignore. But thank you in advance!
A blinding fluorescent light glared in my face as I blinked myself awake. I realized that I must have dozed off to the monotonous beeping noise of the heartbeat monitor without meaning to. I had been laying in the observation room for over an hour with a machine strapped around my engorged waist. Nurses shuffled in and out of my room as they silently read the data strip. News from my physician assistant had woken me up from my daydream- Fetal distress with bradycardia. I was being moved from the clinic to Fairfax Hospital immediately. I suddenly felt the blood drain from my face.
While my son’s heart rate was dropping, mine was racing. Sensing my anxiety, my healthcare team began telling jokes and filling my head with mindless chatter- the cold weather was finally letting up; did my mom and sister really play rock-paper-scissors to see who would be in the operating room with me; chemistry must be a hard major while pregnant. One nurse even squeezed my hand as if to say that I was not alone in this scary time. Slowly, I began to calm down and the doctor proceeded with the C-section. The warmness and optimistic attitude of the medical staff were able to comfort me until I was able to finally hold my beautiful son in my arms.
As a pre-med undergrad, I thought that I had chosen all the right paths to pursue my childhood aspiration of becoming a physician. I spent my summer volunteering at nursing homes and a spring break to on a mission trip to an impoverished community in Mississippi. But as a young adult with newfound independence, my grades began to suffer as I became too enchanted with extracurriculars and socialization. My recklessness came to a halt when I was 19 years old and about to finish my sophomore year at Virginia Tech. I found out that I was pregnant, and my boyfriend refused to take responsibility. Alone, I knew that I was going to keep the baby- even if it meant becoming a single parent. It was time to refocus my education and, for now, with a child to provide for, the medical dream was shelved.
Two and a half years later, I graduated cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in chemistry. I started working in a QC lab- culturing L929 cells, performing assays, and measuring the presence of endotoxins in media. I decided to pursue a master’s degree in biochemistry and molecular biology at Georgetown University with the intention to transition into medical research. There, I participated in the development of a drug to reverse the aggregation of neurotoxic proteins in the brain. Even when I got to that point where I proved my drug utilized the autophagy pathway in neuroblastoma cells, thus clearing ⍺-syn and p-tau, I still yearned for a more direct path to help patients personally face sickness and disease. Being behind a laboratory bench or an observation glass was no longer sufficient for me.
I took a chance and switched careers. I started working as a medical assistant at Dulles Neurology Clinic. Engaging myself in the duality of confidant and caretaker, I found myself concerned for patients’ mental wellbeing along with their physical ailments. One woman in her 40s broke down after I performed a lower EMG on her right leg that confirmed the doctor’s diagnosis of idiopathic peripheral polyneuropathy with paresthesia. At first, I thought I had hurt her, but she quietly confided that the relief of having the slightest understanding of her symptoms was a huge unloading of stress and anxiety although no treatment was yet performed. As I soothed her tears while the doctor explained to her the course for a pain-free life, I finally felt that I was where I was meant to be. To be part of a team that wraps up the precision and dexterity I learned from research with the personal, straight forward care of medicine I’ve come to love.
As scared as I was to go to the hospital eight years ago, My PA told me that I would be in great hands, even if she would not be the one to deliver my baby. From the relationship I grew with her, I knew that I could trust anyone that she worked and collaborated. Now, I want to pay forward the kindness and assurances that I had received by becoming a PA myself.
With a friend and a cousin both working as PAs, I understand that becoming one would allow me to work in multiple specialties while maintaining a healthy work/home balance. Most importantly, PAs are able to have autonomous personalized interactions that some patients feel are lacking in the physician-patient barrier. As an MA, I often pride myself with being allowed thorough conversations with the patients while taking their medical history or performing diagnosis tests. A physician assistant is able to bridge that gap.
Every unexpected obstacle and challenge has taught me to persevere through any problem, no matter how long it takes. My journey to this point of being able to liaison between the physical and the emotional treatment has shown me that genuine care, curiosity and persistence goes a long way to a fulfilling career as a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Grace,
I can see your determination and grit woven throughout your essay.
I think you are off to a good start.
I would condense where you can, word by word.
Also, include a paragraph about any shadowing experience you have. What did you observe in the interactions the PA had with patients? With the supervising physician? How did this affirm your decision to pursue the PA path?
In the section where you discuss your grades, if you gained any new study habits or time management skills, briefly mention those.
For your conclusion, you may want to more directly tie back to your introduction in one sentence.
I’m not saying you need this, but we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you need more help.
Good luck to you!
Grace Tat says
Thank you in advance!!
A blinding fluorescent light glared in my face as I blinked myself awake. I realized that I must have dozed off to the monotonous beeping noise of the heartbeat monitor without meaning to. I had been laying in the observation room for over an hour with a machine strapped around my engorged waist. Nurses shuffled in and out of my room as they silently read the data strip. News from my physician assistant had woken me up from my daydream- Fetal distress with bradycardia. I was being moved from the clinic to Fairfax Hospital immediately. I suddenly felt the blood drain from my face.
While my son’s heart rate was dropping, mine was racing. Sensing my anxiety, my healthcare team began telling jokes and filling my head with mindless chatter- the cold weather was finally letting up; did my mom and sister really play rock-paper-scissors to see who would be in the operating room with me; chemistry must be a hard major while pregnant. One nurse even squeezed my hand as if to say that I was not alone in this scary time. Slowly, I began to calm down and the doctor proceeded with the C-section. The warmness and optimistic attitude of the medical staff were able to comfort me until I was able to finally hold my beautiful son in my arms.
As a pre-med undergrad, I thought that I had chosen all the right paths to pursue my childhood aspiration of becoming a physician. I spent my summer volunteering at nursing homes and a spring break to on a mission trip to an impoverished community in Mississippi. But as a young adult with newfound independence, my grades began to suffer as I became too enchanted with extracurriculars and socialization. My recklessness came to a halt when I was 19 years old and about to finish my sophomore year at Virginia Tech. I found out that I was pregnant, and my boyfriend refused to take responsibility. Alone, I knew that I was going to keep the baby- even if it meant becoming a single parent. It was time to refocus my education and, for now, with a child to provide for, the medical dream was shelved.
Two and a half years later, I graduated cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in chemistry. I started working in a QC lab- culturing L929 cells, performing assays, and measuring the presence of endotoxins in media. I decided to pursue a master’s degree in biochemistry and molecular biology at Georgetown University with the intention to transition into medical research. There, I participated in the development of a drug to reverse the aggregation of neurotoxic proteins in the brain. Even when I got to that point where I proved my drug utilized the autophagy pathway in neuroblastoma cells, thus clearing ⍺-syn and p-tau, I still yearned for a more direct path to help patients personally face sickness and disease. Being behind a laboratory bench or an observation glass was no longer sufficient for me.
I took a chance and switched careers. I started working as a medical assistant at Dulles Neurology Clinic. Engaging myself in the duality of confidant and caretaker, I found myself concerned for patients’ mental wellbeing along with their physical ailments. One woman in her 40s broke down after I performed a lower EMG on her right leg that confirmed the doctor’s diagnosis of idiopathic peripheral polyneuropathy with paresthesia. At first, I thought I had hurt her, but she quietly confided that the relief of having the slightest understanding of her symptoms was a huge unloading of stress and anxiety although no treatment was yet performed. As I soothed her tears while the doctor explained to her the course for a pain-free life, I finally felt that I was where I was meant to be. To be part of a team that wraps up the precision and dexterity I learned from research with the personal, straight forward care of medicine I’ve come to love.
As scared as I was to go to the hospital eight years ago, My PA told me that I would be in great hands, even if she would not be the one to deliver my baby. From the relationship I grew with her, I knew that I could trust anyone that she worked and collaborated. Now, I want to pay forward the kindness and assurances that I had received by becoming a PA myself.
With a friend and a cousin both working as PAs, I understand that becoming one would allow me to work in multiple specialties while maintaining a healthy work/home balance. Most importantly, PAs are able to have autonomous personalized interactions that some patients feel are lacking in the physician-patient barrier. As an MA, I often pride myself with being allowed thorough conversations with the patients while taking their medical history or performing diagnosis tests. A physician assistant is able to bridge that gap.
Every unexpected obstacle and challenge has taught me to persevere through any problem, no matter how long it takes. My journey to this point of being able to liaison between the physical and the emotional treatment has shown me that genuine care, curiosity and persistence goes a long way to a fulfilling career as a physician assistant.
Jillian says
Thank you so much for offering this service! It means so much. Any and all recommendations are welcome to strengthen my personal statement. Thank you again so much.
I remember hearing a pop and hitting the ground, people surrounding me, something was wrong. I planted my foot wrong while playing a soccer game at Boise State University (BSU). After a visit to the ER and receiving an MRI it was determined I had a torn ACL and meniscus, one of my worst fears. After months of physical therapy, I was scheduled for surgery. All I remember after surgery is leaving the hospital feeling scared about the next step. Waiting for my doctor at my first appointment, the door opened and a man I had never seen entered the room. He introduced himself as a physician assistant (PA) and informed me he would be taking over my care. I had never heard of a PA; however, it did not take long to develop a rapport with him. He was patient and listened to my questions and spent the next hour calming my fears which created a comfortable climate.
Always knowing that my career path was healthcare, but unsure of a specific direction, I was intrigued by the level of care I had received. I researched the PA profession and believed it aligned with my personal and professional goals. I soon realized my PA exemplified the attributes I value most; someone with the ability and willingness to spend extra time with patients and build relationships. Information gained from my research and observing my PA ignited a passion for this profession. I want to emulate the patience and compassion I received to future patients.
Attending my first anatomy and physiology lab at BSU solidified my personal goal of working in the medical field. The rush I felt with a scalpel in hand, dissecting the case and fitting all the pieces together to determine a diagnosis was exhilarating. BSU fostered my learning and continued my path into becoming a PA. From classroom learning, to more hands-on field trips, I loved learning about the body and how systems work together. Eager to learn more about a field that is ever evolving, I declared a health science major.
Where BSU solidified my personal goals, Ada West dermatology solidified my passion and knowledge of my professional goal. Shadowing the PA provided me a front row seat into the life of a PA. The PA explained that she performs surgeries, provides diagnosis, prescribes medication, and treats her own patients. In one particular case, a patient’s skin on his foot was peeling off and he had thick yellow toenails. After stepping out of the room, the PA informed me the patient had a fungal infection and called her supervising physician for help. Observing the team-based care between a physician and PA was fascinating. The trust they have for each other is unquestionable and I felt at ease at the thought of working alongside a supervising physician. Together they analyzed tests, conducted research, and constructed a plan. I walked out of the room with the same excitement as I did with my A&P lab, eager to learn more. Upon reflection, I realized the shadowing experience reminded me of the relationship I had as a scribe with an internal medicine doctor. Working directly with the doctor and asking questions was exactly how I witnessed the relationship between the PA and her supervising physician.
Equally impacting on my professional goals quest was volunteering at hospice, which I chose because it is where my grandmother spent her final days. Hospice afforded me the opportunity to support patients during a critical time in their life. As a champion for patients, building trust was essential. For example, during a visit with one of my patients, I noticed something wrong. She appeared dejected, quiet, and not herself. After inquiring, a nurse informed me the patient was eating alone and no longer met with her friends. I finally realized she could not hear me, which I reported back to my coordinator. After tests were performed my patient received hearing aids and her familiar personality returned. It gave me such joy to help determine a course of action. Now, as I reflect on that patient, I know the importance of awareness to abnormal behavior and nonverbal ques, and I have a better understanding and more empathy for the person behind the patient.
My passion for STEM ignited in high school, I loved learning about science and teaching anyone that would listen to what I learned. I always knew I would follow a career in science. I am a team player and I am charged by the idea of connecting the puzzle pieces, listening to the patient, collaborating with colleagues, and determining a solution. After shadowing multiple doctors and PAs I have chosen the PA path because I love the idea of being trained as a generalist with the flexibility to change specialties and spending extra time with patients to build lasting relationships, which I believe are essential to an increased quality of life. Adding to everything above, as a driven and compassionate individual with a gregarious personality, I am distinctly positioned to be a PA and with your acceptance, I will be distinctly qualified.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jillian,
You are off to a great start!
Your introduction catches the reader’s attention and shows your initial encounter with a PA.
I also think your paragraph about shadowing is very effective. You do a good job of describing the interactions and what you learned from observing.
Your story about helping the woman who had lost her hearing is also strong.
In your conclusion, I would tie back to your introduction in some way. Maybe you could mention the fortuitous meeting with that PA after your injury.
Good luck to you!
Jillian says
Thank you so much for your feedback!
Samantha Villa says
Hi, this is a rough draft I’ve been working on. I am not sure where I can cut out, where I can expand, or if it needs rewriting in a different direction all together. Thank you for your time in advanced. I greatly appreciate any help.
My story does not begin with a lustful five year old playing with a plastic stethoscope pretending to diagnose dolls. Rather, my journey was a bumpy, winding process of elimination; from a dream to play professional soccer, to a fantasy of becoming a stereotypical crazy-haired scientist in a white lab coat mixing potions together, to a marine biologist after seven year-old me visited an aquarium and bombarded the tour guide with relentless questions of why something was, to an architect due to my inclination to art and creativity. However, as early science course in middle school began to stimulate my mind, my perspective shifted to medicine. I was fascinated by images in textbooks portraying human anatomy and body systems. I began searching for videos online of peoples’ doctor visits. The healthcare providers portrayed in these videos mesmerized me with their intelligence and ability to empathize with those in a vulnerable state. Throughout my college career, I coincidentally went down the list of the multitude of healthcare providers in existence. Eventually, the long processes paid off and I found the answer to why a physician assistant (PA) is the profession for me.
I was introduced to the PA profession, among several others, at Ithaca College’s HealthQuest summer camp my sophomore year of high school. I was exposed to how broad the medical field truly is, ultimately the PA profession was filtered into the jumbled web. Three years later, I acquired the position of an undergraduate research assistant at my university’s Kinesiology Department for a hydration study. While I learned how to use a multitude of lab equipment and the importance of accuracy when analyzing bodily fluids, a crucial aspect was missing. It became evident that the ability to sit face-to-face with another person and build a personal connection was the aspect of medicine I desired.
A few months later, as an undergraduate lecture assistant for Human Anatomy Lab, my fascination for the human body became deeply ingrained. Teaching fellow students the brachial plexus, holding a spinal cord and human heart, observing muscles and large arteries up close ignited a passion in me for the pursuit of knowledge regarding the human body. Simultaneously, I was volunteering in the Physical Therapy Department of my university’s health center. I finally had the chance to interact with patients and I possessed the knowledge to apply concepts from the anatomy course I helped teach to the understanding of diagnoses and treatment of patients. However, there was one caveat – I desired a greater challenge and a greater affect on others. On a visit to the University Health Center for a routine physical, I began chatting with my provider who disclosed that she was a PA. Then, it clicked.
I pursued a more immersive experience into the medical field when I began my position as a rehabilitation therapy technician at a local inpatient rehabilitation hospital. I was immediately drawn into the fast paced hospital environment. It was as though every healthcare provider at the hospital served as one piece in a large, well-oiled machine with the sole purpose to help the life of another. A prime example of this was a time a patient went unconscious in the therapy gym. Alarms began blaring throughout the hospital, therapists began removing other patients from the vicinity, nurses began to rush in, and I froze. I had never heard these types of alarms in the hospital before nor had I ever been briefed on what they signaled. I quickly realized the alarms were a signal for the hospital wing that a patient needed immediate assistance. I snapped out of it and began wheeling other patients to an adjacent room to make space for potential life saving procedures. Everyone knew their role, everyone stepped up, everyone exerted mutual effort. As a PA, I desire to be a crucial component of a team so committed to helping others. I desire to create a such a lasting affect on another person that I can make their eyes light up with gratitude during discharge ceremonies, as the ones I witnessed during my time at the hospital.
My former position as a home care aide serves to support the value I place on helping others. This role taught me how imperative it is to create a foundation of trust with a patient for the purpose of providing optimal care. At times patients lose hope, and they require someone they trust to empower them to push forward. As a home care aide I formed a close bond with my patients, learning their life story and browsing dated pictures emphasizes that patients are more than a medical diagnoses. A potential for human connection is what attracts me to the PA profession.
As a PA, I can supplement my pursuit to help others with the tools and knowledge to research the “whys” patients hold and heal them. I desire to be the medical professional directly involved in changing a life. From doing everything in my power in school to ingrain concepts in my head, to never settling with just ‘okay’ assignments, to having the curiosity at work to google a patient’s diagnoses, I am prepared and eager for the academic challenge of PA school and a life of learning.
Whitney Prosperi says
Samantha,
I enjoyed reading your essay.
I would condense throughout, word by word. This will allow more room for you to add in some more details about your healthcare journey.
Add a paragraph that describes your shadowing experience. What did you learn from observing this PA? The physician? What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients and with the supervising physician? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA profession?
I would also a paragraph that reveals a patient care example. Describe an interaction (maybe as a home care aide) with a patient that motivated you to increase your scope of practice so you could do more for patients. Show yourself in action performing hands-on care while connecting with the patient on a personal level. You want to show how you perform your duties here and what you have to offer to patients as a future PA.
For your conclusion, tie back to your introduction at some point.
I’m not saying you need this, but if you would like more help, we are taking essays for our revision service.
I wish you good luck!
Teresa G says
Thank you so much for providing this service! I look forward to learning what to improve on my essay!
According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, athletic trainers and physicians come to the same diagnosis of an injury or illness 92% of the time. This statistic really resonates with me because of an injury that I witnessed early on in my athletic training career. This athlete did not present with the “typical” signs and symptoms of his injury, so not being able to diagnose it was out of my control. I keep this in mind every time I question whether or not I am in that statistic of 92%.
A young, shy sophomore basketball player came into the athletic training room one day. It was a cold, rainy day in the spring of 2014, and this basketball player had been trying out for the track team. This boy was soaking wet from head to toe from the rain and I will always remember him shivering when he was sitting there taking his socks and shoes off, telling me that his foot was numb. Upon examination, there was no pain, swelling, redness, or deformity, but his foot was extremely cold and the sole of his foot and his toes were ghostly white. After a few minutes of sitting in the warm athletic training room, his body temperature increased, his foot returned to its normal color, and the numbness went away. Maybe this was not as concerning as originally thought, but I was convinced there was something I was missing. I gave him the advice that if this were to happen again to go to the doctor right away if things persisted or got worse, and to notify me if he was able to. He understood and asked if he could finish his run. He ran out of the athletic training room with a smile on his face, excited that he was not taken out of practice.
A few days later, this once mobile athlete was now on crutches and his foot was wrapped up in what looked like a soft cast. I asked him what happened, and he told me that he did what I told him to do – he went to the doctor because he was in the most excruciating pain. The athlete told me that he had seen four doctors and all of them had a different diagnosis, and he was schedule to go to another doctor in a few days. He never made it to that appointment because he was rushed to Johns Hopkins Hospital due to pain and swelling. Testing diagnosed a muscular defect that wound up cutting off the blood supply to his lower leg and produced many blood clots and he only became symptomatic because of his growth spurt during puberty. This vibrant, young, ambitious basketball player will have to get his foot amputated. The following year, he wound up playing on the basketball team for the high school. This young man taught me the power of perseverance and how to overcome the worst thing that has ever happened to you.
Since then, I have been thinking about furthering my medical career.
I have been a certified athletic trainer for eight years and have worked at a variety of locations, including high school, physical therapy clinic, professional baseball, and my current job as the head athletic trainer of a division II university. None of the experiences I have had in these places will compare to the experience I had with that basketball player. However, the experiences I have had in all of these locations have showed me that there are many reasons for the need of a complete team of healthcare professionals. I have been able to diagnose and treat many injuries myself, but the ones that I have to send out to another professional have always been the ones that I think about the most. As a physician assistant, I will be able to gain the knowledge and skills needed to diagnose and form a care plan for those injuries and illnesses and provide the best care possible for the patients. For these reasons, I know that I will excel as a physician assistant and continue with my professional career to do great things.
These great things that I want to do have brought me to the PA profession. Through my journey to pursue this new career, I have had to retake some classes to improve scores and obtain more recent grades and have received exceptional grades while working 60 to 80 hours per week along with shadowing a neurologist and a sports medicine PA. In doing so, I have learned sacrifice, pain, determination, and compassion, along understanding what my strengths, weaknesses, and passions are. Every encounter I have had with another medical professional, I realize that the physician assistants were always the ones that I related myself to. They are kind and compassionate, versatile and strong. They are the ones that spend most of the time with the patients, and that is something that I have loved doing as an athletic trainer and do not want to give that up.
I am looking forward to the next step in my medical career so I can help more people like the basketball player in my story and continue being in that 92%.
Whitney Prosperi says
Teresa,
You are off to a great start here. What a compelling story about the young athlete that you helped.
I would add more detail about your shadowing of PAs and elaborate on what you admired about their interactions with patients and with the supervising physician.
You do a good job of addressing your grades. I would explain any study habits or time management skills you gained that will help you keep the upward trend.
Also, at some point, you may want to reiterate your commitment to collaboration since this is such an integral part of the PA’s role within the healthcare team.
Add some more detail to your conclusion as well. You do a good job of tying back to your introduction, but make sure you reiterate some of the reasons you will make an excellent PA.
Good luck!
Teresa G says
Thank you so much! This is very helpful!
Ryan Baird says
Thank you for any help you can offer!
When I was sixteen I received my first shock to reality that the people you care about most are not invincible. My younger brother went to a doctor’s appointment due to a persistent pain he had been having in his lower leg, and was sent for imaging in order to rule out a broken bone. What happened next changed my life forever.
I was at my friend’s house when I received a call from my mother. While crying, she explained that they were headed to our local children’s hospital with my brother for emergency tests. His doctor discovered what he believed to be cancer in my brothers left tibia. I slowly felt my body tense up and my heart rate increasing as my mother explained what was going to happen next. I began to pack my belongings as fast as I could and made the long thirty-minute drive out to the hospital.
I will never forget sitting in those cold, hard, wooden chairs waiting for the news that could change my brother’s life forever. After what seemed like days, the physician finally walked into the room. He projected this aura that commanded attention, yet did not feel threatening in any way. Slowly, he revealed that my brother did not have cancer, but he did have a serious case of osteomyelitis. None of my family had any idea what this was, but he sat down and calmly explained what this meant. With each sentence he finished, I felt the tension in my muscles and the knot in my stomach slowly relax. I was in awe of his ability to provide us with information and reassurance at the same time. In that time, he was exactly what my family needed in what could have been one of the most devastating moments of our life. This was the moment that would ignite a passion that drives me every day to strive to provide the same reassuring care to every patient, family member, or friend that I come into contact with.
I was first introduced to the physician assistant profession by my advisor during my undergraduate program. Through this, I got the amazing opportunity to shadow an orthopedic surgeon and his two physician assistants in clinic and in the operating room. Quickly, I was drawn to the fact that the physician assistants spent more time caring for the patients and interacting with them. While in the operating room, the physician assistant was in the room as soon as the patient was and did not leave until the patient was on their way out. He worked as a team with the nurses to properly position the patient on the table, and was thoroughly engaged throughout the entire surgery. Afterward, he followed up with every post-op patient of the day in order to see how they were recovering. This left the greatest impact on me, and is the main reason for my desire to become a physician assistant. I look forward to constantly engaging with patients and providing them with the best care that I possibly can.
Today, I work at a physical therapy clinic as an aide where I work directly with the physical therapists in order to create and implement a rehabilitative exercise program for our patients. It intrigues me how different each patient is, and I enjoy the challenge of finding what works best for each individual. I have ample experience working in a team with the therapists and fellow aides to provide the best care possible for our patients. Due to the nature of our clinic, I also have experience managing the flow of patients and working with multiple patients at once. While I enjoy the fast pace nature of it, I still relish the individual connections that I create with each patient and the impact that I get to make in their life.
I will always cherish these first three years of patient experience. They have taught me invaluable lessons and helped me to improve my ability to interact with patients. However, I still am chasing the desire to become a provider and help patients the way that the physician helped me. Through my shadowing experiences and my research, I have realized my desire to become a physician assistant. With every step I take closer to accomplishing my goal, I only become more excited at the impact that I will be able to create in the lives of every patient that I have the privilege of attending to.
As I walked into that hospital 8 years ago awaiting my brother’s diagnosis, I was terrified that my life was going to be changed forever in an awful way. Instead, I was provided the main reason that I strive to give every patient I see the best care that I possibly can. At some point in time, people are going to experience that gut-wrenching moment the same way that I did with my brother. They are going to be lost, scared, and in dire need of someone to be there for them. Whether they are a patient, a family member, or a friend, I will always be ready to do for them what that physician did for me.
Whitney Prosperi says
Ryan,
You do a great job of drawing the reader in and showing the spark that created your interest in medicine.
I also like the paragraph where you explain what you learned through your shadowing experiences.
I would include a paragraph that shows what appeals to you about the PA role. You want to show your understanding of the profession and why you are suited for it. What aspects of the role speak to you? (collaboration with a healthcare team and physician? autonomy?)
Also, when discussing your PT aide work, I would include a patient care story. Show yourself in action, providing clinical care while also connecting with a patient on a personal level.
You may also want to reiterate your commitment to collaboration since this is such a big part of the PA’s job.
Good luck to you!
Faith Robinson says
Hello. I was hoping to get some feedback on the edits that I had on my personal statement. Any help is greatly appreciated.
“What did you do to my posterior?” my patient drawled. Our 51-50 ambulance transport had been a routine call, but once inside the receiving facility, everything went wrong. Our patient started yelling, “I’m an American, Donald Trump cannot hold me here!” and struggled so much against his restraints that he almost flipped our gurney. While the facility was gathering sedation supplies, I distinctly remember stabilizing the gurney and trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. The situation was utterly heartbreaking. He was mentally ill and no amount of explanation would help him. It was easy to feel discouraged in the face of my inadequacy. Yet, after the nurse gave our patient a shot of sedatives, something unexpected happened. He looked up at us and inquired, “What did you do to my posterior?” with such precise pronunciation that I had to fight back the smile that came to my face. He relaxed and slumped over, finally at peace.
All of my schemas for maturity in the face of adversity were inconsequential in that instant. The choice was no longer humor or pain, but a perplexing mixture of both. By this time, I knew I wanted to be a competent, optimistic physician assistant who had high regard for her patient’s dignity. But, this experience highlighted my need for something more. It required the ability to navigate the uncomfortable mixture of optimism and realism that finds a unique flavor in the medical field.
My path to PA has been a gradual process. Growing up, my mom, a registered nurse, took care of my quadriplegic uncle and autistic brother. These family experiences, along with serving in the disability community, produced a passion for the disabled, and witnessing my mom use her medical knowledge to serve them inspired me to pursue a career in medicine. When I learned about the PA profession specifically, the balance of authoritative medical knowledge and collaborative relationships with physicians appealed to me. I knew I wanted to be challenged, both technically and intellectually, in my future career, and PA seemed like a perfect fit.
When I shadowed in the Emergency Department, it was the final confirmation that I was on the correct path. I saw physician assistants conducting exams, performing assessments, and executing procedures with autonomy. I absolutely loved it! They were professional and competent, but faced the harder realities of working in healthcare with grace. Over and over, I saw them navigate the same tension between realism and optimism. They offered hope without compromising the truth. They showed empathy while performing painful procedures. I realized that personally learning how to reconcile these seemingly dissonant ideas would be crucial to my future as a PA.
One answer to this paradox came from a surprising source: the honors program at my university. The Torrey Honors Institute is a Great Books program that exposes students to diverse perspectives and encourages a multidisciplinary approach to thought, vocation, and community engagement. Utilizing the Socratic method, I spent over 600 hours discussing diverse topics with my classmates, shaping me into an exceptional communicator, a dynamic collaborator, and a passionate lifelong learner. I was taught to boldly seek truth while admitting my shortcomings, instilling in me a powerful mixture of passion and humility. I believe these skills will make me a unique and effective PA who is able to care for my patients with intensity while humbly seeking to improve and strengthen myself with every day that passes.
After gaining experience as an EMT, I became an ophthalmic technician at a practice with seven MDs, which has allowed me to expand my clinical skills and gain insight into a medical subspecialty. Once, while working-up a patient, I recognized the symptoms of a macula-intact retinal detachment, which can cause permanent loss of vision. I immediately took action by performing the required diagnostic scans and alerting an MD. The patient was rushed to emergency surgery, and her vision was saved. Though PAs do not normally operate within ophthalmology, the experience has been invaluable. It has honed my decision-making skills, introduced me to the inner workings of a medical clinic, and placed me in close proximity to a collaborative team of providers.
My journey towards becoming a physician assistant has taught me to move beyond the question, ‘Should I laugh or cry?’ towards, “How can I zealously, but humbly, serve my patient?’ As a PA, I will strive not only to excel clinically but to empathize with those in pain and bring appropriate humor to grim situations. I am certain I have the academic, interpersonal, and technical excellence to succeed in PA school, but more importantly, I know that I have so much to learn. I am excited to continue to passionately, humbly cultivate knowledge at my future school to become a dynamic, effective PA in the future.
Whitney Prosperi says
Faith,
With this busy season of essay submissions, we are only able to offer suggestions one time.
I wish you good luck.
Remember, if you need further help, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Pallavi Subedi says
~Hello! I am a reapplicant and am happy with my essay overall. I just worry that it might not answer the ‘Why I want to be a PA’ question clearly and want to have a stronger conclusion. Thank you~
“Baba fell and they called the ambulance, please hurry,” was all I could decipher from the phone call I received from my mother. As a child, you always think of your parents as indestructible superheroes. You never stop to consider that as you get older, your parents also grow older. I certainly never thought that my strong, superhero father, who emigrated from Nepal in 2004 to have a better life for his family, would one day end up unresponsive on a hospital bed.
The doctors and nurses rushed into the hospital room, bringing with them their large EKG machines and portable chest XRs. I looked at my mother’s face, which suddenly looked so small and scared amidst the hustle and squeezed her hands to reassure her. As a medical scribe, I was accustomed to the ED workflow and knew the doctors were simply eliminating critical conditions. However, for my mother, a woman raised in a small village in Nepal with no access to healthcare, the overwhelming flow of medical providers and machinery was terrifying and foreign. The ED attending spoke to us briefly to obtain the history of what happened, but then left the room to begin the treatment orders. The PA by his side saw my mother’s terrified face and immediately walked over to the corner where we stood. I will never forget the way she silently took my mother’s hands and consoled my mother. She gently explained to her that my father’s vitals were lower than ideal, and they had to run tests to determine the cause behind his syncope and unresponsiveness. While my father was admitted to the hospital that night for new onset A-Fib, the PA remained with us every step of the journey. When asked why I want to pursue a career in medicine as a PA, I think back to the warm face of that emergency room PA who exhibited such unfound kindness and care for our family in our time of crisis. One day, I aim to be that PA providing stability and comfort for patients in their greatest time of need.
I spent my last year working as a CNA which taught me invaluable lessons about the importance of compassion and empathy in healthcare. I excitedly entered my role with expectations that my days would be filled with routine procedures and appointments. However, I was not prepared for the various emotional responsibilities of the job that arose such as when my elderly dementia patient looked at me with expectant eyes and asked when her children were picking her up. No amount of classroom training had prepared me for how to gently break it to her that both sons had moved away and were not visiting her anytime soon.
I had a particular patient that I referred to as “Popop” who was an elderly Jamaican male in his late 80s that inspired me with his cheerful personality despite his extensive medical history including a recent foot amputation. However, when I arrived one morning, Popop did not give me his usual wide-toothed smile and greeting. Instead, he looked up with large brown eyes full of sorrow and said, “Honey… my foot is not getting better. Will I ever walk again?” I sat by his side as Popop expressed how miserable and disgruntled he felt from the constant array of needles, doctors and medications. I listened patiently and knew I had no tangible solution to offer other than a gentle ear and loving presence. After he was finished, Popop tearfully looked in my eye and smiled saying “Thank you for being here with me, I don’t know what I would do without you.” This is one particular moment out of many that taught me the importance of being that safe space for patients to express their frustrations and fears. It taught me that managing a patient’s emotional well-being is just as crucial as caring for their physical well-being.
Another experience that fueled my passion to become a PA stemmed from my time as an ED medical scribe at Greenwich Hospital. As a scribe, I was granted the unique opportunity to be a first-hand observer. I was able to shadow both physicians and PAs to observe how they collaborated together to effectively diagnose and treat patients. I remember one particular case where the physician I was scribing for was taking care of an elderly lady with recurrent pancreatitis when he got pulled away for an emergent cardiac arrest. The PA immediately took over care of the pancreatitis patient and ordered all required labs and CT scans. She managed the admission orders and made calls to the patient’s anxious family all while making frequent visits to the patient to reassess her pain level and update her on all results. After my provider returned from working on his cardiac arrest patient, he sat down and thanked the PA for assisting him by taking over the pancreatitis case. Witnessing how the PAs and MDs worked effortlessly together as one healthcare team only further cemented the desire in my heart to become a PA.
As a reapplicant, I have taken advantage of my time and used it to improve the academic side of my application by retaking biochemistry. I have also continued to delve deeper into my role of chief scribe at Greenwich Hospital which retained its scribe program throughout the pandemic. After witnessing so many possible careers in medicine, I can undoubtedly say that I desire to spend the rest of my contributing to healthcare as a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Pallavi,
Your introduction does a great job of grabbing the reader’s attention and showing the role a PA can play in connecting with a patient and family. (You will probably need to condense this some to allow for more details along your healthcare journey.)
You also do a good job of showing your ability to connect with different patients along their journeys.
I would add a little more detail about what aspects of the profession speak to you. Is it the ability for more patient contact? The balance between autonomous responsibility for patients while working with a healthcare team and with a physician?
You do a good job of describing what you learned in your shadowing experiences and showing the integral role of collaboration that PAs play.
For your conclusion, I would tie back to the story about that initial contact with the PA who comforted your mother.
I think you are off to a good start.
Wendy Hernandez says
Aloha, I would like to take a moment to thank you for offering this generous service and look forward to your feedback.
A few months ago, my six-year-old niece was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, a condition that plagues millions in our nation. As a clinical nutritionist, I knew that my cheerful spirited niece would have to live managing this devastating condition for the rest of her life. I needed to plant a seed of hope that evening, a feeling that encourages people to persevere. I designed and implemented a medical nutrition therapy protocol that with parent compliance drastically dropped her hemoglobin A1c levels, prompting her doctor to temporarily cease insulin treatment. Having that personal, hands-on experience with patients and providing hope while encouraging perseverance are some of my favorite aspects of the healthcare profession.
My passion to work as a physician assistant (PA) stems from my desire to manage patient care within primary care settings in underserved communities. My desires can be extrapolated from a sequence of events exposing me to public health issues that I can relate to, growing up as a first generation American in New York City. It has allowed me to experience first-hand, the healthcare challenges faced within these communities. I learned at very young age, the importance of being bilingual since I often served as an interpreter for my father. In addition to the language barriers, I understood barriers pertaining to healthcare access as a result of inadequate or lack of insurance. I can relate to this situation because my father was uninsured for nearly a decade and bears multiple chronic conditions that require medical attention. He believed the use of emergency rooms were his only option. Exposures to these situations began to foster a longing to help in this area.
At the age of fourteen, I began volunteering at a nursing home out of curiosity but soon developed a desire to assist and to care for others. Later, I sought opportunities to work in clinical settings and obtained a position with an ear, nose, and throat clinic. I often served as a Spanish interpreter for the doctors and audiologist during procedures. I never took those opportunities for granted since I gained clinical exposure and enjoyed patient interaction. By my senior year of high school, I knew I wanted to pursue a career in healthcare. One year into college, I married and became part of the military community, which largely influenced my journey and my opportunities to serve within the healthcare system.
During one of our assignments, I completed a practicum in Public Health Sciences as part of my undergraduate degree. I was selected to work on a project with the Sedgwick County Health Department’s Center for Health Equity (CHE) as a result of having bilingual fluency. My task was to evaluate, research, and publish outreach efforts in establishing a medical home for members within the local Hispanic community. One of the trends I noticed was the community’s use of emergency rooms for primary care services to manage chronic disease. I remembered my childhood and the struggles my father faced. Once again, I was exposed first hand to the complexities associated with health disparities in underserved communities. Months later while completing my capstone project, I interviewed a member of the PA department. I realized I needed to strategically plan my educational path to compliment the PA profession after gaining a strong interest in this field. During our next assignment in South Korea, I began to pursue a Master of Science in Nutrition. This degree allowed me to seek licensure and provided me with a solid foundation for designing and implementing medical nutrition therapy protocols to manage chronic disease, which can be a major challenge within primary care settings.
I can proudly say that my experiences and education paved a path that I am pleased with today. In retrospect, I can appreciate how my upbringing, facing adversities, and having nearly two decades of military life experiences collectively played a role behind my desire to become a PA. These experiences have synchronized to develop character traits that I believe will help me thrive as a PA. Compassion, perseverance, and cultural competency have allowed me to grow as an individual and as a healthcare professional. Having compassion towards my patients brings me joy when they find hope. Positively influencing the course of their crippling conditions brings satisfaction when they begin to persevere through their conditions. These traits fuel my ambitions to serve within the primary care setting. As I recall my journey, two words that come to mind are “hope” and “perseverance.” I strive to instill hope and perseverance in my patients because I know it gives them the drive to fight and overcome their medical challenges.
Whitney Prosperi says
Wendy,
Your introduction does a great job showing your passion to provide clinical and personal care.
Also, you do a good job of explaining how your upbringing has shaped your desire to help others.
You will likely need to condense these sections to allow characters later to discuss more details from your healthcare journey.
I would add a paragraph that describes any shadowing experience you have had. What did you admire as you watched PAs interact with patients? Or PAs interact with the supervising physician?
Describe more about what draws you to the PA path. What about the role speaks to you? (more time for patient connection, ability to collaborate with a healthcare team, ability to switch specialties?) You want to show your understanding of the profession and show why you are a good fit for it.
Also, I would include a patient care story that shows you in action. (connecting with a patient while providing some clinical care of some kind) You want to show what characteristics you have to offer as a future PA.
I wish you good luck. Remember that if you need further help, we are taking essay submissions for our revision service.
Muftia Khalil says
There is no feeling like being humiliated for your beliefs, or being made to feel incompetent because your view does not align with someone elses. As a Muslim woman I have been subject to people’s prejudices for a majority of my life. I have been the recipient of a litany of insults and derogatory remarks. What I never anticipated, however, was experiencing this while in the care of my doctor. Seated on a cold examination table, where the only sounds were the crinkle of the table paper, I was consumed with anxiety as I waited. When the door finally opened, there was a small sense of relief. After exchanging pleasantries, the doctor asked what brought me in. I was uncomfortable with being so candid, but for the sake of my health I knew I had to be open and honest. She calmly listened then proceeded to explain the process of the examination, something she seemed well versed in. Due to my personal beliefs, I informed her of what was and was not permissible. I expected her understanding, but received her criticism. As I attempted to explain myself, she admonished me. I was mortified that this appointment became not about my problem, but about me and what I believed in. I no longer had the confidence in her ability to properly care for me. This provider’s lack of empathy and tolerance, greatly impaired my willingness to receive further care. What should have been a partnership with my health as the main concern, became a battle of values. This experience solidified my commitment to being someone who will be sensitive and receptive to the medical and personal needs of others. Not for the sake of common courtesy, but as a proponent of unbiased and inclusive health care.
I have always viewed healthcare as more than just treating a patient’s concerns; it is a partnership built on the confidence that the advice is valid. There is no effectiveness in a treatment plan if it is not followed. For true healthcare to be given, both the provider and patient must be active members. A provider must be conscious of the patient as a whole. The ability to be empathic and conscious of the varying external factors that play directly into a person’s life is what makes someone a true healthcare provider. Asking a Jewish patient with uncontrolled hypoglycemia to stop fasting during Yom Kippur might meet resistance. It is not a matter of the patient not caring about their health, but how much importance the patient places in their faith. Understanding this, I believe we can make more appropriate health decisions where we respect the patient and are tolerant of their beliefs. Taking the time to devise various ways the patient can still maintain their ritual practice while at the same time caring for themselves, is how we can administer effective healthcare.
What has driven me towards the field of physician assistance is the focus on teamwork. From a young age, collaboration has been a key component of my survival. Growing up in the city of San Francisco in a family of nine, everything was shared. Chores, family outings, helping out in the family store, these were all things we did as a unit, working in cohesion to get to a common goal. I have taken these ideals and incorporated them into my work as a medical assistant. Beyond taking patient vitals and documenting their histories, I worked alongside my doctor to encourage patients to book their mammograms and colon cancer screenings. One patient had refused her mammogram for over 10 years. She came in every 6 months to ensure she kept her blood pressure in control, she never forgot to take her medicine, and was in overall good health. But she was adamant she would not get the mammogram done. After some coaxing, she finally revealed her mother died of breast cancer and was afraid of getting the same diagnosis. Despite knowing her increased risk, she felt living in ignorance was easier than having that diagnosis at the back of her mind. She did not want to put the burden on her family. During most of her visits, we talked about her family, so I knew they meant a lot to her. I asked if the roles were reversed, and her daughter was refusing a test that could potentially diagnose cancer, would she be okay with that? Through some more compelling arguments, I convinced her to make and keep the appointment. They had detected a breast cancer in her left breast. Luckily, it was early enough that it was treatable. Through the extensive efforts of both the doctor and I, we helped this woman discover and treat her cancer. Her fear was a very real one, and respecting that as well as understanding her values, I feel, made her more willing to respond to our advice and take action. As a physician assistant, the team aspect between the overseeing physician and physician assistant and patient is a network focused on the patient. A fundamental key I hope to uphold while providing optimum patient care.
Whitney Prosperi says
Muftia,
Your introduction is effective in showing your passion and commitment to treat each patient with respect. I know you will be an empathetic provider that respects patients’ beliefs and fosters a safe environment.
I will say that you’ll likely need to condense throughout your essay to allow more room to show your understanding of the PA profession and what appeals to you about it.
Add more detail about your clinical skills and work experience.
If you have any shadowing experiences also describe those. What did you admire about the interactions the PA had with patients? The physician?
Also, discuss what aspects of the PA role appeal to you. You did well to discuss collaboration since that is such an integral part of the PA’s role. What other aspects appeal to you? Autonomy? More time to build relationships with patients?
For your conclusion, tie back to your introduction while reiterating your desire to pursue the PA profession.
Good luck to you!
Neeru Basanti says
Having been previously exposed to familial carcinoma, my interest in medicine became prominent. It was a solemn afternoon, I was on my way to college, when I received the call. My mother was wailing on the phone, through her tears, she struggled to inform me that my father had just been diagnosed with stage IV renal carcinoma. I was shocked. My father meant the world to me and now there was a chance that I could lose him at any time. When I came home that night, I reassured my father that he has nothing to worry about, that this was a meager issue. Only my mother and I truly knew the severity of the situation at hand, nevertheless, we put on a brave face and remained strong for his sake. Through a mindful change of diet, exercise, and sheer positivity, my father became happier and healthier. One morning, we received the call we had been eagerly anticipating, finally, a Urologist, Dr. Victoriano Romero was assigned to my father’s case. Throughout the course of my father’s treatment, Dr. Romero provided my father with the sincerest care and dedication, which made us feel secure. With great success he performed a left-sided nephrectomy, fully removing the tumor. My father was eager to return to work, but Dr. Romero knew better, and was able to convince him to rest and fully recover before returning to work. Under the careful postoperative care of Dr. Romero, my father recovered quickly. Dr. Romero still often visits my father at our family’s restaurant, asking about his well-being outside of work, for which I simply have no words. Dr. Romero went above and beyond his job description, which is truly inspiring. This experience helped shape my passion for medicine and patient care.
Through volunteering as a suicide helpline intern, I was able to accumulate vast knowledge on mental health and how it contributes to the overall psychological and social well-being of others. From my experience, I was able to develop an understanding of how to interact and engage with individuals who were either depressed, lonely, or suicidal. I distinctly, remember a time where I was speaking to a male, who at the time had suicidal ideation, and was fixated on taking his life by jumping in front of a car. With careful choices of words, I was able to talk him through the situation, compelling him to retract his actions. This call forever resonates with me because I was able to positively impact someone’s life with the care and compassion I provided remotely. I acquired the skill of helping someone cope with psychological issues through my role as a suicide helpline intern. Psychological well-being is crucial in medicine and being mentally healthy promotes effectiveness in caregiving. Given the skills I acquired from this opportunity, I feel confident in my abilities in providing care and dedication to my patients in the future.
Working closely with PA’s reaffirmed my ambition to become a healthcare provider. I vividly remember this night working with PA Deven Braden. It started off as a normal training shift in the emergency room. I was training to become an emergency medical scribe in a level 1 trauma hospital. However, as the night deepened, the events of the ER took an unimaginable turn. All a sudden I saw nurses running about, calling a code, a code I’d never heard of before. This was a level 1 trauma; gunshot wound patient being brought in by ambulance. My trainer asked me if I would be interested in seeing the trauma. With a gleam in my eyes and great excitement, I quickly agreed. As I entered the room, I saw several nurses and techs flooding the room, making swift preparations for the arrival of the patient. This patient was a mid-aged male who under the influence of cannabis, accidentally shot himself in proximity to the heart. The EMT’s rushed through the door with the patient on the stretcher and quickly laid him on the bed. My eyes widened and chest swelled with adrenaline, as I watched the vulnerable male, lying fully exposed on the table, with his lifeless body. PA Braden intubated him immediately, and the nurses began performing vigorous CPR in efforts to revive him. PA Braden assisted the trauma physician throughout the entire process and admirably took charge of the situation. Unfortunately, after several measures of resuscitation, the patient was pronounced dead. This was the first time I had seen someone die before my eyes and I came to a realization that I could see myself playing an active role as a PA in the emergency department. Seeing what an active role PA Braden played in the trauma, I was inspired. Through this experience, my passion for healthcare became reaffirmed. I too hope to be as competent, determined, and influential as PA Deven Braden.
From my varied experiences, I have come to recognize that the PA profession is one of outstanding patient dedication, patience, and compassion. From my strong personal and clinical background in medicine, I believe that I have acquired those traits, and I continually exemplify those traits as I delve further in my role as a medical scribe and future PA student. With my healthcare experiences, I have been given numerous opportunities to impact someone’s life, such as Dan, who would have committed suicide, had he not decided to make that one phone call. My journey as an aspiring PA student, has moved me to join your unique program.
Whitney Prosperi says
Neeru,
Wow! You have some incredible stories in your essay.
Your introduction is effective at showing that spark that ignited your love for medicine. I will say that you’ll need to condense this story where you can simply to allow more room to discuss the progress of your healthcare journey.
The story about the suicide hotline is powerful, showing your ability to connect with someone on a personal level.
If you can work in more details about your clinical skills and work experience, I would do that.
The story about the PA is also incredible. Here, you’ll need to condense this where you can. Then include some details about why the PA profession is right for you. What aspects of it speak to you? (collaboration with a healthcare team, the ability to work autonomously, the ability to build relationships with patients)
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, add some details about that here. What did you witness in the interactions between PAs/patients and PA/physician that you admired?
You are off to a good start. Remember, we are taking essay submissions for our revisions service should you need help with that.
I wish you good luck!
Kari says
This is only my second draft and I know it needs a bit of work, so I’d appreciate any advice I can get!
I was fourteen years old when my mom took me to Dr. Sanders’ office for the first time. I did not understand why I was there. “There isn’t anything wrong with me,” I thought. “I’m not sick.” I was furious and I was embarrassed sitting there in the waiting room. “I don’t need to be here,” I kept telling my mom. “It’s not a big deal, it’s just a diet. I just want to lose a few pounds.” That day Dr. Sanders diagnosed me with anorexia nervosa. She along with a small team of other healthcare providers set up a treatment plan for me that ultimately saved my life, although I did not see it at the time. Prior to my diagnosis, I already found myself to have an affinity for my science classes and more specifically, learning about the human body. In fact, I spent the entire summer after seventh grade reading through The Human Body Book, teaching myself about every body system and disease listed in there. It was once I was in recovery from my eating disorder that discovered my passion went beyond just being excited to go to my science classes every day. I wanted to turn this enthusiasm into a lifelong career in medicine.
As a high school student who was relatively uneducated about what opportunities were available in the field of healthcare, I thought that natural thing to do was to become a doctor. That is what I spent a majority of my high school and undergraduate careers working toward. There were no physician assistants on my care team and admittedly, I did not even really know what a physician assistant was until I was a junior in college. At that point in time I was pretty discouraged, and after hitting some rough patches academically, I was questioning whether I was really cut out for this career. When my mom introduced me to the possibility of a career as a PA, I spent hours researching and familiarizing myself with what a PA does, and their role as part of a care team. I realized through all of my research that for the first time in what seemed like forever, I was no longer discouraged. Instead I was excited about where this career could take me, and I could see myself one day treating patients just like me.
I started to really pour my heart and soul into doing everything to make myself the best possible applicant to PA programs. I joined my school’s pre-PA club to gain more exposure to the profession, I worked nearly full time hours as a medical assistant in an ophthalmology office, while balancing my classes for my major, prerequisite classes for PA school, and writing and doing research for my senior thesis. Although I was balancing a lot, I still saw an upward trend in my grades, even accomplishing a 4.0 GPA for my final semester while taking some pretty difficult classes. I ultimately left my job at the ophthalmology practice because while I was getting valuable health care experience, I was not getting the direct patient care experience I knew I needed. I then began my current job as a medical assistant at a dermatology office, from which I have gained so much valuable experience that has really helped solidify my decision to become a PA. Seeing a patient’s gratitude when I take the time to explain to them and write down how to properly use their medications, or communicate their biopsy results and educate them on any treatment they may need, or help them to get the medication they need at a more affordable price, has shown me what it is like to have that feeling of fulfillment that I know I will find every day as a PA. I also know from my own personal experience as a patient, that you may not get that gratitude from every single patient. I was so reluctant to treatment because of my disorder that I did not give my care team the thanks they deserved, but that did not stop them from making a difference in my life.
While I do have a lack of PA shadowing hours, I believe I have immersed myself enough in learning about the profession that I am confident that it is the career I want to pursue. I work around PAs at my current job and have had the opportunity to see the work they do and how they impact the lives of their patients through taking the time to really get to know each patient and give them the appropriate treatment they deserve. This, along with experiences I was afforded through my school’s pre-PA club, and my own personal experiences, have solidified that I have made the right decision. While I may not have been treated by a PA personally, I look forward to working as part of a care team like the one that treated me to help treat patients and improve their quality of life. It is important to me as a future PA to be someone my patients feel comfortable with by treating them the way I would want a provider to treat myself or one of my family members. I have learned the importance of communication between a patient and a provider in building their trust in you, and I will implement that knowledge as a practicing PA. I have so much passion and so much hope for my future as a PA and for my future patients, and it excites me to think that in a few short years I could be using medicine to make a difference in the lives of others the way it was done for me. I will continue to dedicate myself to that dream not just until I get accepted, and not just until I graduate, but through the rest of my career.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kari,
Your opening is effective in showing your developing interest in science and medicine. I also think you do a good job showing your healthcare journey.
I would add a paragraph that expands more on what aspects of the PA profession speak to you. (collaboration with a healthcare team, autonomy, more time for patients/relationships built with patients)
Also, when explaining your work with PAs, you may want to describe an interaction you’ve watched between PA/patient and what you admired about that.
Also, include a description of a patient care example. Show yourself providing care while also connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to reveal what you have to offer patients as a future PA.
I would include a conclusion that ties back into your introduction and that early spark of interest in medicine.
You are off to a good start. Good luck!
Evelyn H says
When I was 17 years old and playing on my high school’s soccer team, tearing my ACL was probably the worst thing that could have happened to me. We had a winning season and were making a run for the state title when suddenly, I found myself thrust into the world of healthcare and more specifically sports medicine. I had an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon for x-rays, MRIs, and to schedule knee surgery; I was seeing my athletic trainer everyday after school for whatever ‘prehab’ was, all while trying to wrap my head around missing the rest of my soccer season. After surgery, it was physical therapy 2-3 times a week, working with my athletic trainer the other days, and follow-up appointments with the orthopedic surgeon.
Tearing my ACL in high school propelled me into the sports medicine world and I never left. I went to college with the goal of becoming an athletic trainer and having my own patients and athletes to treat. I then went to graduate school to research neuroplasticity and concussions. While my research was certainly enlightening, the experience made me realize how much I enjoyed interacting with patients and how little I enjoyed analyzing data in a lab. Since graduating, I have worked with athletes of all callipers, adult weekend warriors, an older population, and my personal favorite- athletes who have torn their ACL.
In my current position, my knowledge of the healthcare field in general has increased significantly; I find myself communicating and collaborating with professionals in other specialties, learning about the newest technologies to treat patients, and the less glamorous process of insurance claims. I am lucky enough to work with a physician who values my role as an athletic trainer, who trusts and respects my ideas, and has the confidence in me to treat our patients within my scope of practice.
Throughout my years of schooling and professional experience, my passion towards sports medicine has only grown and my love of soccer has not diminished. About a year and a half ago, I was playing in an adult recreational league when I felt a familiar sensation, this time the opposite knee. Armed with knowledge and experience, both personal and professional, I saw one of my clinic’s orthopedic surgeons who simply laughed and said “well you know the drill, when’s surgery?” My follow up appointments were with a physician assistant (PA) who let me ask every question I could think of about the profession. I had the amazing opportunity to shadow this PA in clinic and in surgery. I watched him as the first assistant to an orthopedic surgeon. I watched him construct the perfect ACL graft for a patient that would allow them to return to normal life. I watched him follow up with this patient in clinic. Again, I was hooked. Becoming a PA was the next step in my professional journey within the healthcare field.
I cannot say that I play a lot of soccer anymore, but I am extremely grateful to where it led me. I am still fully immersed in the healthcare field and I am still passionate about treating patients and returning them to whatever their activity goals are. I want my role in sports medicine to continue to evolve and I want to use my experience and knowledge to succeed as a physician assistant.
Scott Sanders Jr. says
Hi! Thank you so much in advance for taking time to read and review my personal statement! I feel very confident in this rough draft, but I am lacking a strong finish. I am open to critique and suggestions to strengthen my personal statement.
Growing up as the son of a major league baseball player, there was never a doubt in anyone’s mind that I was bound for a career other than baseball. Throughout my childhood, my focus was always on sports, but I’ve always been drawn to the mechanisms of the human body. This passion had grown through the years, but my hope of working in the medical field was still a very superficial. It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that this passion came into existence. Coming home from baseball practice, I surprisingly walked into my house without a cooked dinner or greeting from my mother. As I called her name throughout the house, I came to find her passed out on the living room floor. Shaking her and screaming her name, I felt utterly helpless. While dialing 911, she finally came to, moaning of excruciating pain in her back. Unable to stand, I carried her to her bed and immediately called for our family physician. My mother always had trouble with her back, but its combination with anxiety attacks became too much to handle. That day began a long journey of assistance in returning back to her everyday life. I spent the rest of the year helping her in every way possible to get her back on her feet. My constant care and service not only gave her comfort, but it also provided me with the fulfillment of guiding her to a full recovery. My ambition to replicate this feeling ignited a never-ending flame of passion to fuel my path to giving a similar recovery to other helpless individuals as a physician assistant.
After graduating from high school, I accepted the opportunity to play baseball at Southeastern Louisiana University. My decision to be a part of this team not only formed my busy schedule of practice and studying, it also formed my character and work ethic as well. Majoring in pre-medicine and playing baseball caused me to learn swiftly that hard work and sacrifice are needed to be truly successful. A schedule full of morning workouts, class, meetings, practices, and studying helped instill the hard work necessary to balance such a hectic schedule. My time spent as a student-athlete at Southeastern has brought me an innumerable amount of character building memories, but none surpass our work done after the 2016 Louisiana Flood. The Red Cross reported the flood to be the worst natural disaster to hit the United States since Hurricane Sandy. It left countless families distraught and in ruins. The baseball team and I split up into groups and traveled throughout Tangipahoa Parish helping as many people in need as possible. Our goal was to help these families recover their homes, and also to lift their spirits in these tough times. From hauling ruined furniture to completely gutting houses, we did whatever we could to make their future in the home much more foreseeable. Although we were soaked in sweat, mud, and insulation, all the hard work was paid off with the heartfelt gratitude from the victims. This gave me a great desire to recreating this feeling by changing people’s lives in the medical field.
Going into my senior collegiate baseball season, I couldn’t help but think that this was the year. After suffering a broken foot 6 months before the season, I had put nearly all my time in the off-season rehabbing and training. A couple days before the season opener, I was called into coach’s office with hopes of making my way into the starting lineup for our first game. Coach began our meeting with, “I know you’re excited to end your time here with a bang, but I have an even more important role for you instead”. My expected role entering the season took a turn from playing every day, to being a leader and inspirer in the dugout. This left me with two options, leave the team and spend my time focusing on my studies, or accept my role and help our team go out and win games whichever way possible. I chose the latter of the two choices, spending my final season teaching and coaching the players off the field, along with setting the example of how to be a good teammate. This was one of the toughest decisions I’ve faced throughout my time spent at Southeastern Louisiana University, but I believe it has helped shed light on the importance of teamwork. No matter how big the role you play, every role is essential to making your team successful. I believe that this quality will help drive me to becoming a well-rounded physician assistant, who plays a vital role in providing great health-care with my medical team members.
After graduating from Southeastern, my next step was to turn my sole attention to the medical field by becoming a patient care technician (PCT). As a patient care technician, which comparable to a certified nursing assistant, I have spent my time taking vital signs, monitoring blood glucose, and working closely with nurses, physician assistants, and physicians to administer the proper care for my patients. Coming into the job, I only saw it as a prerequisite for physician assistant school, but it has instead helped reaffirm that working in the health care system is where I belong. Throughout the many ups and downs of working as a PCT, it’s easy to say the ups heavily outweigh the microscopic downs. The gratification of receiving a patient and assisting them from an all-time low, back to their everyday life is a feeling that can’t be replicated anywhere else. The job has also helped me to evolve in the realms of patient care. It has shown me that no matter how busy and crammed your schedule is, taking the time to figure out each patient’s needs and expectations is essential to providing high quality care. North Oaks has allowed me to become much more comfortable with any situation I’m thrown into upon entering a patient’s room. My transition to this job has shifted from a necessary job to become a PA, to an experience that has evolved my patient care into the essential qualities needed to become an effective, respected physician assistant.
All of my life experiences have led me to realize that the only place for me is spending my time helping others heal and live their lives comfortably. Instead of choosing to settle for a simple job that requires much less schooling and effort, I’ve decided to follow my passion and continue my journey to a career into the medical field. If given the opportunity to become a PA, there’s nothing else in sight that could hamper my journey to becoming a successful physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Scott,
I think you do a great job of showing your desire to help people, your commitment to teamwork, and your unexpected path. (good for you!)
Your opening is compelling and does a good job showing how your interest in medicine developed.
I think you’ll need to condense where you can throughout to allow for more detail showing your understanding of the PA profession and why it’s a good fit for you.
I would add a paragraph that details what you have learned from shadowing PAs. What did you admire about their interactions with patients? Physicians?
Also, make sure you tell what aspects of the PA profession appeal to you. More time for patient connections? Ability to switch specialties? Autonomy?
I would also add a patient care story from your work as a PCT. Describe an event where you connected with a patient while providing clinical care of some kind. (drawing blood while connecting with an anxious patient, for example) You want to show yourself in action here.
For your conclusion, one thought would be to mention your mother and how she inspired you to pursue medicine.
I think you’re off to a great start and I enjoyed reading about your journey! Good luck!
Rachel H says
A pint of Guinness and a tablespoon of sugar, a home remedy my dad was given whenever he got sick as a child in Ireland. Doctors were a luxury his parents could not afford, resulting in negative health outcomes for my dad and his 12 siblings. My dad has lost half of his siblings to cancer and another 3 are still fighting that battle every day. My family’s medical history has become my answer to the question “why?” and has driven me to pursue a career as a primary care provider. Millions of American’s struggle to find access to medical care, just like my dad and his family did growing up. Physician assistants help bridge the gap and increase access to high quality medical care, which is where my inspiration and passion to become a PA has stemmed from. I am ready to turn my passion into my career.
My freshman year I struggled with the transition from high school to college, specifically when it came to my studying habits and exam performance. However, I did not let my mediocre grades from my first semester discourage me from achieving the success I knew I was capable of. As I mastered the study habits that worked best for me, took advantage of professors’ office hours, and joined the health science club to get involved with my peers that shared a similar passion and goal, I began to excel academically in my undergraduate career.
My sophomore year I joined the Second-Year Transformational Experience (STEP) program at OSU where I worked with faculty and a group of my peers on receiving a fellowship to support my own signature project. After learning about the imminent need for volunteers I decided to use my fellowship to volunteer in Nan Province, Thailand, helping the youth of the local hill tribes living below the poverty line. On this journey I met a girl named Pray that opened my eyes to the crucial role myself and the other volunteers played in fulfilling the medical and educational needs of this community. At just 4 years old, her teeth were black and rotten, receiving little to no medical care. I spent 3 weeks implementing public health programs at various schools including the promotion of hygiene, oral health education and vision screenings to help kids like Pray.
After completing my undergraduate degree, I sought to get more involved within the medical field. That summer I obtained my EMT certification and immediately began working as an EMT for Hunter EMS. Becoming an EMT has allowed me to help people of all different ethnicities, education levels and socioeconomic status. These people are putting their life in my hands at some of their most vulnerable times, a responsibility I never take lightly. Nothing quite compares to the buildup of suspense and excitement each call brings, using each call as an opportunity to learn and grow as a health care provider. As I give my patient report to the emergency room staff I admire the ability of the PA to diagnose and treat patients while simultaneously working as a member of a medical team to meet the overall needs of the patient. My job as an EMT has been nothing short of rewarding, fueling my desire to expand my medical knowledge and become a PA.
Every challenge and opportunity that I have encountered on this journey, whether it be my job as an EMT, my involvement in various volunteer projects, or my experience within the health science major, has allowed me to gain the confidence and skill set it takes to become an exceptional health care professional and what I believe to be an integral part of any health care team – a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Rachel,
I think the story about your dad makes a great opening! It shows how your interest in healthcare developed and reveals your motivation. Good job here. (Americans with no apostrophe in that introduction :))
You do a good job of showing how you struggled to find your passion and raise your grades.
I also like the story about Pray. I would expand that story a little more. Describe some more about your interaction with her, how you connected with her and what you did to help.
I would include a section about what you have learned from shadowing PAs. (or if you have not shadowed, what you have learned from working with PAs) What did you admire about their interactions with patients? Physicians? How did their work confirm that the PA role was good for you?
Also, explain a little more about why the PA profession is a good fit for you in general? Is it the opportunity for more time/connection with patients? Autonomy? Ability to switch specialties?
For your conclusion, add a sentence or two that ties back to that strong introduction.
You are off to a good start! Remember that if we can help you with your essay, we’re taking submissions. I’m not saying you need it – just letting you know. Good luck!
Christina Schroeder says
Hello, I have worked on several drafts of my essay, replacing several for something new. With many eyes on my essay, I have undergone a tremendous amount of revisions and hope you may help to solidify these alterations.
On January 19, 1996, my mother was driving home when an oncoming vehicle struck her. After eleven days in a coma, she stabilized, permitting her children to see her. She looked different as bruises, bandages, and tubes covered her. In those moments, I saw firsthand that it took a team to heal my mother. Continuing forward, my concerns for justice, benefaction, and aptitude in medicine increased as life continued in a new way for my family. We learned to care for each other as we adjusted to the changes of having a disabled mother. In high school, I shadowed my first PA, Carla, where I witnessed service in action. Her first patient was several weeks pregnant, and due for an ultrasound. Applying the cold gel to the mother’s belly, Carla alleviated the tension stating with a smile, “we only have to do that once.” She searched for the baby while listening to the mother’s concerns. She was gentle and empathetic as she located the fetal heartbeat, confirming life to the mother and my desire to serve as a PA.
Moving onto college, I enrolled as a pre-PA student. During my final year of college, I traveled to Costa Rica to enhance my conversational Spanish. Living with a local family, studying at the town college, and volunteering at the community hospital, I experienced several opportunities to glean new vocabulary and methods of communication. Once, a mother presented with difficulty breastfeeding. She was concerned for her child and unsure of her options. Listening intently, I observed the physician kindly answer the mother’s questions and repeatedly articulate the suggested procedure – a double frenotomy. With the mother’s comprehension and approval, he completed the process, demonstrating the importance for every patient to understand the expectations of care clearly. With certitude, I believed that one day, I, too, would embody the healing gifts of gentleness, trust, competence, and adaptability, which I witnessed that day. I was on the path to medicine and yearning for a greater understanding of its mysteries when I seized another opportunity to serve the cancer community.
In the summer of 2015, I returned to the US, received my diplomas, and trained for a year for a bike ride that would cross the nation. Primarily utilizing an online blog and a local radio station as platforms, I would go on to raise $9,370.70 for the Ulman Cancer Fund. This effort exceeded my previous philanthropic work, Shave-tober. An event I instituted in 2013 under the Team Jack Foundation to raise awareness for pediatric brain cancer. We raised $2,677 funds and shaved 128 heads, including mine. These endeavors were comprehensive and intense and served to accentuate my interest in providing service to the cancer community. Afterward, my need for a respite was paramount.
In 2016, I took time away from academia until 2018 to rest and process life. During this time, I paid off student loans, shadowed a variety of healthcare professionals, reflected on my mother’s accident and its ramifications, and confirmed my desire to be a PA as real and constant. Feeling revitalized, I completed senior-level science courses and secured a position with the Dougherty Hospice House, through which I continue to learn the importance of death, compassion, and palliation. I had always imagined healthcare professionals as glorious healers. In my mind, those who don scrubs provide hope and healing. In hospice, however, I quickly came to accept that amidst all their achievements, medicine only goes so far. Even the best healthcare teams cannot overcome the gravity of death.
Moreover, at the Dougherty Hospice House, I work alongside diverse, compassionate individuals who work efficiently and productively without wavering from empathy. They teach me that we seek to understand the family and patients’ stories. Asking questions about their mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs grants the opportunity to connect on deep levels and provide a more integrated, comprehensive solution to the enigma of care. As I continue to prepare for PA school, I deepen my understanding of life, death, and medicine through their examples.
Life, for all of us, is full of ups and downs. With its many mysteries and peak moments of understanding, we grow to better live our lives with purpose and passion. Just as my mother’s accident acted as an initiative for serving, PA school may be a continuation of that desire. My life experiences, medical knowledge, and empathy towards those in difficult situations enables me to meet and honor my patients as they embrace their personal stories. Providing healthcare as a physician assistant would be a natural transition, and thus rests my hope to be a part of that lineage of healing.
Whitney Prosperi says
Christina,
Your essay shows that you seize every opportunity you can to help others.
Regarding your shadowing opportunities, you do a good job describing them. I would then go further by explaining what aspects of the PA role interest you? (more opportunities for patient relationships? the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team? collaborating with a team of providers?)
I would also add a patient care experience that shows you in action performing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient. Here, you want to show how you relate to patients and what you have to offer as a future PA.
I wish you luck on your journey.
Remember, if we can help you further, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Katrina says
Hi! Thank you in advance for doing this! This is my rough draft, but I am unsure where I can make my story more intriguing or what elements I am lacking.
Within the XTRAC laser Excimer, forms of ultraviolet B light were being delivered in concentrated forms to areas all over my youthful face. On a weekly basis, I would receive light therapy from a dermatologist in Boston, in hopes that I would be able to slow down the effects of my developing Vitiligo and reproduce melanin to the affected areas in which I dealt with hypopigmentation.
In the same given year that I was diagnosed with vitiligo, my father was also diagnosed with acute vitiligo. Though he gave me the opportunity to seek professional help and care, he on the other hand chose to try the homeopathic route of treatment. His personal journey dealing with vitiligo was much more rapid than mine. The physicians I met with were able to immediately attack my T cells with the latest medical technology and help slow down the effects of vitiligo. My father on the other hand, was not able to slow down the autoimmune process, so he went into a period of self-awareness and acceptance that he would have to allow his immune system to run its course. This led to my awareness of the two very different paths, of many, that individuals could cope with when dealing with an autoimmune disorder.
From a very young age, I was exposed to the health care industry. Thus, led to my curiosity within the field. Around the same time, I was receiving light therapy, I also had the opportunity to compete in my middle school’s science fair. By proposing a hypothesis on something that struck my interest, the freezing rate of different solutions of water, I was able to advance all the way to the Massachusetts state science fair. By doing so, I knew that scientific research and the ability to learn about the human body was what sparked my interest to gain new knowledge. After dipping my toe into entry level science competitions, I knew I wanted more.
During my time attending high school, I had the ability to choose some upperclassmen courses that could potentially help me pick an area of concentration for university. Thus, I gravitated towards the anatomy & physiology and advanced placement chemistry courses. This led to my future endeavors of becoming a Biology major at Quinnipiac University. It was during my upper level education that I decided Physician Assistant studies was the specific route I wanted to go.
From my research of learning what this developing field consisted of, I learned that I can diagnose illness, develop plans for my patients, prescribe medications, and perform surgeries based on the practice I work within. The major deciding factor that physician assistant was the career choice for me, was the ability to acquire multiple specializations. Though I do like the idea of career flexibility, I further enjoy the option that if there were to be a lack of a certain specialty within the community I serve in the future, I would have the ability to go back to school, and acquire another specialty to better serve my community.
After self-educating of the role of a physician assistant, I decided I wanted to observe what they do at hand. During the summer of 2018, I shadowed two board certified dermatologists and two physician assistants at Signature Dermatology in Ohio. This experience really helped me understand the role of PAs and compare it to what the DOs did. This work environment also facilitated the cohesiveness of a practice in which the PAs would bounce ideas and ask for advice from the doctors and they would willingly work together to deliver the best care they could for the patient at hand. Being able to see how they work together, never seeing one profession as better or more advanced than the other, really motivated me to apply to PA school. There was never a moment in the office in which the doctors looked down upon the PAs for not specifically going to medical school. They were all seen on the same playing field which was very reassuring.
Since I have had many opportunities to work in the dermatology setting thus far, I am naturally interested to continue learning more about the skin. For my future endeavors, if I were to work in a dermatology setting, I would be more than happy to do so, but I do not want to focus in on one specialty quite yet, until I have been able to see an extensive range of specialties during clinical rotations. As PAs, we never have to limit ourselves to one certain area in medicine, so we are able to indefinitely gain new knowledge throughout the medical field. I feel as though there are so many choices in specialty that one should not rule out anything, since that factor may unintentionally limit you.
With a career as a PA, I aspire to help and serve others as was done for me when I was going through my Vitiligo treatments. With the help of PAs and physicians, I was able to overcome negative self-esteem and social anxiety due to my superficial skin condition. Thus, it is my time to learn the necessary skill sets in order to provide the best health care in the coming years.
Whitney Prosperi says
Katrina,
Your introduction is compelling, showing how your interest in healthcare was sparked as you dealt with this difficult diagnosis.
I also can see your progression of how you came to decide on the PA profession.
I would advise you to condense where you can to leave characters to describe more of your healthcare journey.
Detail more of your work experience, showing your clinical skills and medical knowledge.
Also, I think it would be helpful if you told a patient care story that showed you providing clinical care while connecting with the patient on a personal level. You want to show yourself in action and reveal how you perform your duties. This will show what you have to offer patients as a future PA.
Your paragraph about shadowing PAs and what you learned from those experiences is effective.
Remember, if you think you need further help, we are taking essays for our revision service.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Bri says
Thanks in advance for your feedback! As a side note, please let me know if you feel I should try to highlight my intellectual interest in the PA profession.
I shook J’s hand and led her into Room 2, noting the abnormal edematous appearance of her legs and abdomen despite her petite figure. My EMT training set off red flags in my brain and I heard myself asking J if she was short of breath. Her pulse was irregular and exceptionally rapid, the blood pressure almost inscrutable. I calmly excused myself to alert the attending who requested an ECG. As I placed the leads on her chest, I asked J if she had any family close by. Her eyes lit up as she told me about her son, C who had recently moved out, but not before she showed him how to cook some of her specialty Vietnamese dishes. J the patient became J the mom, and I smiled. As I coaxed off the remaining electrodes from her forearms, the attending came in bearing bad news. J looked at me with worried eyes, “I won’t go in an ambulance. I can’t afford it.” As my supervisors alerted EMS and briefed the local hospital, I stayed by J’s side addressing her financial concerns and identifying local assistance programs and her eligibility. Finally, our team successfully convinced her to get the care she needed. I put my hand on hers and asked if she’d like me to sit with her until the medics arrived. She nodded.
When I met J, I was volunteering at the * Clinic where we provide multi-dimensional care to uninsured and primarily low-income, marginalized patient populations. I subsequently joined the staff as a full-time medical assistant and volunteer coordinator which has given me two wonderfully enriching years working with a team to provide direct care to a diverse community of individuals. It was difficult not knowing J’s immediate condition or if her son was able to visit her in the hospital. We later found out that after a week in the ICU, J pulled through. I saw J one more time at her hospital discharge follow up with us. While her tears of gratitude after a blood draw meant the world to me, the greatest gift was knowing our clinic team had been able to make a difference in her life.
The first time I consciously realized I wanted to build a life dedicated to serving vulnerable individuals was in 8th grade. I peer-edited Mel’s poem on self-harm and knew I couldn’t keep this secret for her. Our friendship ended the day I shared my concerns with our guidance counselor. Resolved to support the Mels of the world, I spent the next four years of high school cultivating active listening skills and connecting with teen callers on a crisis hotline. I then spent three years caring for individuals with autism and limited verbal abilities while studying psychology in college. My experiences as a caregiver unlocked a deep appreciation for the power of nonverbal communication and the striking need to advocate for those who cannot always do so for themselves. I became determined to advocate for and build trusting connections with vulnerable populations. A particularly fascinating biopsychology course and my time interning in an Alzheimer’s research lab sparked my interest in science and instilled within me the confidence to pursue these goals in the context of medicine. One year into my grueling premedical post bacc program and 9 years after Mel stopped speaking to me, I heard the ping of a Facebook message: “I wanted to say thank you for noticing and speaking up back then. You saved my life.”
I discovered the PA profession shortly after Mel reached out when I started scribing for Madi in the emergency room. The ease and sense of calm with which she diagnosed and treated a series of patients from start to finish blew me away. Madi demonstrated a breadth of procedural skill and a level of attentiveness, efficiency, and quiet confidence I hope to one day emulate. Then there was Kat, the dedicated PA I shadowed in our diabetes clinic. Her use of plush models to simplify patient comprehension of diabetes to the care with which she asked open-ended questions and always made it clear the patient was in charge of their health during visits, her commitment to patient education and advocacy was abundantly clear. Kat’s continuity in building trust with patients over time, ensuring positive treatment outcomes, and making the inaccessible accessible opened my eyes to the immeasurable value of the PA role, and how clearly the culmination of my experiences, values, and goals are aligned within it.
Part of the brilliance of being a PA is bridging gaps in healthcare and building bridges of human connection through a commitment to patient education and advocacy, all the while playing an investigative role in order to diagnose and effectively treat the patient’s clinical presentation from start to finish. Each day I am energized by the opportunities to engage in continuity of care and a team-based approach to preventative medicine for underserved populations. While it has been incredibly rewarding to serve these patients as a medical assistant, I am ready to take the next steps toward providing comprehensive and meaningful care within the scope of a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Bri,
I think you’re off to a great start!
Your opening is compelling, showing your quick-thinking and compassion.
You asked if you should go into your intellectual interest in the profession-
I would detail some of the specific aspects that draw you to the role. (collaboration of a healthcare team, diverse specialties, balance between autonomous responsibility and working with a physician?)
You do a good job explaining your shadowing experiences and what you learned from those dedicated PAs.
I also can see your desire to work with the underserved throughout your essay.
Good luck to you in the process!
Elijah Jones says
You hear the title Physician Assistant, and many do not quite know who they are or what they do. I myself had no idea this career even existed. I always knew I wanted to be in healthcare, but never quite found the role for me. However, this changed for me when I attended an open house for a Physician Assistant program at my undergrad institution. A Physician Assistant is defined as a specially trained person who is certified to provide basic medical services. After the presentation I realized two things; I am going to become a Physician Assistant and I will not let anything stop me from accomplishing this goal.
After I left the open house, I spent the next few months post grad researching the role of a Physician Assistant, or what it would be like once I became one. A Physician Assistant can diagnose, treat, prescribe, assist in surgery, and many more tasks while caring for patients. The role of a PA can be under the supervision of a physician as well as independent of a physician’s practice. I wanted to know what this entailed, so I shadowed a few PA’s at two different services Memorial Sloan Kettering, inpatient Radiation Oncology and Hematology. The shadowing experiences were both educating and eye opening as I had seen the role of a Physician Assistant firsthand. The three PA’s I shadowed each did the standard triage, which was to identify patients, take down history, conduct physical examination, ask about medications, and present it to the on-service physician on the inpatient staff. What made each of these shadowing experiences great was the depth of knowledge each PA had, the understanding of their service/practice, and their interaction with the patients they saw.
The opportunity to shadow the Physician Assistants at Memorial Sloan Kettering was truly amazing. Although the inpatient services I shadowed had patients who were in unfortunate situations, the teamwork and professionalism of the PA’s was impeccable. It was inspiring for a future PA to watch as they engaged their patients, communicated effectively, and made sure the patient was aware of the possible options of care. While shadowing I had also come to the realization that the community, I live in could benefit with the introduction of more PA’s. I live in a medically underserved community known as South Jamaica, Queens. There is always a demand for medical providers in underserved communities. My interest in being a Physician Assistant is to help meet this demand, especially in underserved communities such as South Jamaica, Queens. What better way to address the issue of healthcare disparities in underserved communities than to become a PA and challenge this status quo.
Becoming a Physician Assistant would put me in a better position to fight healthcare disparities in underserved communities, like the one I live in. The most important thing is not to just to call out the problem within a community, but to actively seek resolution so that everyone can benefit. As a Physician Assistant, I’ll be able to help advocate and lobby for patients as well as healthcare providers. Becoming a PA would also aid me in increasing awareness of the Physician Assistant role and help increase representation within the medical field. As stated earlier many people don’t know about what PA’s do and I want to highlight how beneficial it is to have practicing PA’s on a team of healthcare providers. I also seek to increase representation of POC in the healthcare field. In 2019 a Statistical Profile of Certified Physician Assistants was released and indicated that there were 109,140 licensed/certified PA’s in the US (an increase from 2017’s 104,785 certified PA’s). The total number of PA’s that are POC were 13.1% with 3.6% being African American. Although the number of certified Physician Assistant’s is increasing, I want to make sure that the total number of Physician Assistants that are POC are increasing as well. Senator Kamala Harris once said “If you are fortunate to have opportunity, it is your duty to make sure other people have those opportunities as well”. As a Physician Assistant I want to show there is an opportunity it is possible to become a certified healthcare provider, especially today.
My attraction to becoming PA stems from my natural curiosity about medicine, being a role model, and the dedication I have towards serving my community. My road to becoming a PA is one that is not without hardships. I graduated with a B.S. in Biology with grades that may not be considered ideal for applicants. During my junior year, arguably my worst academic year, my grandmother was diagnosed with Leukemia. Over the next year and a half, she began to decline until she passed in September 2017. It was hard for my family as we had lost the matriarch who had dedicated her life to helping take care of family, friends, and strangers alike. I decided to work at Memorial Sloan Kettering as a Care Coordinator to reignite a passion for patient care as well as becoming a Physician Assistant. It was during the two and half years that my passion toward becoming a Physician Assistant had increased tenfold. I knew that my grades were not the best so I decided to retake classes to reinforce my knowledge and prove to myself that I am more than capable of achieving my goal of becoming a Physician Assistant.
As discouraging as the circumstances above were, I never truly lost sight of my goal to become a Physician Assistant. After my grandmother had passed, I spent some time believing that my bad grades during this time made me less of a candidate for PA programs. I found it hard to stay motivated in order to achieve my goal. A patient, who I’ve known since I’ve started working at MSK, told me “Listen E you’re not going to be able to change your mistakes, but you can change how you feel about them. Feel good about knowing you were able to change and grow. You are good, attentive, professional, and most importantly you care”. This conversion and knowing how much I could accomplish as a Physician Assistant provided me the reassurance for achieving my goal. The opportunity to treat patients in medically undeserved communities, increasing representation of POC as PA’s, and promoting the use of PA’s in communities like the one I am from all stemmed from my unwavering dedication to become a Physician Assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Elijah,
I can see your desire to help people throughout your essay.
You may want to condense your details about the PA profession so that you can explain why you are a good fit for the role. Tell what aspects draw you to the profession. (the potential for more time/contact with patients? balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a healthcare team?) I think you should also mention your desire to collaborate with a team at some point as this is such an integral part of the role.
Also, I would condense your essay where you can to leave more details about your clinical care experience. You want to show your medical knowledge and describe more about your healthcare journey.
I would also include a story that shows you interacting with a patient who really motivated you to do more for patients. Add a paragraph that shows you performing clinical care while also connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to show what you will have to offer patients as a PA.
You are smart to address your grades at some point. I think it’s good toward the end of your essay, but I think you should condense here as well. Briefly discuss what happened and then tell what skills you learned (time management or study) that will help you avoid similar issues in the future. (Also, I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I still miss mine after 14 years.)
Best of luck to you.
I’m not saying you need this, but if you want further help, remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Elijah Jones says
Thank you so much for the feed back, I really appreciate it! I had alot of trouble figuring out where to start which why its the way it is. I will stick to your advice and make sure I touch upon the points you mention above. Thank you again!!!