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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (17th April 2024): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers having worked over seven years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Briana Evans says
The big bright lights beaming down on us, the incessant cheering from excited fans that stood all around and the adrenaline rush from running onto the field to give the thirsty, fatigued athletes their water throughout the game – these were just small reasons why I loved working as a student trainer for my college football team. But what really drew me to it were the genuine relationships I got to build with the athletes while being at their aid whenever they needed me, from helping to sustain injuries on the field to just providing a laugh on the sideline. This was one of my first patient-care experiences and what ultimately got me interested in pursuing medicine. But what specifically got me to start pursuing a career as a physician assistant were the life-changing conversations I had with the PA of the football team.
After speaking with him at many games, I was quite interested in being a PA because I knew I loved treating people, building relationships with them and helping them in their respective recoveries. I also fell in love with the feasibility to switch specialties if I desired to and the independence the profession offered as an advanced practice provider. But to be completely transparent, I wasn’t always compelled to be a PA. I wish I could start out by enthusiastically sharing about how I’ve always known I wanted to be one, but that would be utterly false. Truth is, although I’ve had an interest all throughout college, I sadly was not always 100% sure. It ultimately took a challenging, but incredibly fulfilling and consequential year after graduating college to finally realize that being a PA was my purpose in life.
My senior year of college I decided to join MedServe, an AmeriCorp sponsored fellowship that ended up placing me in a primary care clinic serving an underrepresented, disadvantaged population in Raleigh, NC. This was a godsend because it called me to a position that I knew would ultimately lead me to my decision while giving me the opportunity to help others in my community. One of the first things I learned about myself working there was that I greatly care about those who are marginalized. Within the first weeks at my clinic there was a patient seen who was homeless, living in the woods and had multiple chronic conditions, ranging from diabetes to bipolar disorder. His provider needed me to help find him housing in the area so he could have a place to store his insulin and sleep at night. I sent out his information to numerous shelters and organizations in the area – but I didn’t stop there.
With the help of his case worker I tried researching multiple places and calling them to try to find anywhere he could possibly stay, even if just for a night. Unfortunately everything was at capacity and we were unsuccessful in finding a place anytime soon. But the words his case manager shared with me gave me the encouragement I needed. “Thank you so much for all your help, you care so much,” she told me. Her words filled my heart and further guided me to the answer of question I had been asking myself, which was whether or not my purpose in life was meant to serve underprivileged and underserved populations as a PA.
As I got to know more patients and witnessed, firsthand, the journeys they all made in improving their health, I felt more reassurance that my answer was yes. The yes was fueled by my passion for helping others by providing quality health care to those who need it and being a part of a team that can change dozens of lives. It was led by the deep satisfaction I got witnessing a patient’s blood sugars go from high 300s to low 100s in 2 months. It was inspired by the outstandingly low statistics of African Americans and other people of color in the profession and the difference I could make with my unique perspective. It was affirmed by the opportunity being a PA would give me to change specialties to help a broader range of patients and the autonomy I would be able to have in how I choose to practice medicine. Throughout the year, yes became increasingly enduring and the doubts slowly crept away.
Now that I have been in a clinical setting, I’ve had real patient contact and connection with people of all different backgrounds, and I’ve been able to observe a PA working in a primary care setting, I know in my heart this is the career I belong in. Because of this, I am an invaluable candidate for your graduate program and I fully plan to sacrifice and commit all I have to in order to fulfill my purpose of being a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Briana,
Your introduction does a good job of showing your desire to build relationships while also revealing your first encounter with the PA profession.
As far as the explanation about not being 100% sure about being a PA at the start, I would simply go straight to the story about MedServ and how this confirmed your desire to be a PA.
I would also tell more about your clinical experience, showing your healthcare journey.
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, write a paragraph explaining how that helped to affirm your decision. What did you admire about the interactions between the PA and patients? The PA and physician? Tell more about what draws you to this profession.
Also, I would add a sentence or two that ties back to your introduction.
Good luck to you!
Melissa Husein says
Thank you so much in advance! Any help is appreciated!
I was twelve years old and in the middle of my seventh grade math class when a school nurse came to pull me from our lesson. When I arrived at the nurses office, I saw my little brother sitting in a chair all by himself and immediately became concerned. The nurse then began to explain that the small rash that had formed on my brother’s upper lip in the days prior had become increasingly bigger and was starting to visibly swell, so she had called my mother to come pick us up from school. While my brother was in no physical pain, what started as a small patch of dry skin quickly turned into an enlargement of his cheek and upper lip. My mother quickly began to panic and took my brother to numerous doctors, none of which whom could diagnose his condition. Nearing the point of giving up hope, she made the decision to take him to see one more dermatologist. The minute the physician assistant laid eyes on my brother, he immediately turned to the supervising physician and said, “This looks like orofacial granulomatosis (OFG).” At just twelve years old, I had absolutely no idea what that meant. I can still vividly picture the relief on my mothers face when someone finally gave her an answer, even if they weren’t completely sure at the time because it was the most anyone had done up until that point. About a week after a tissue biopsy of my brother’s cheek was done, we were back in the dermatologists office discussing a diagnosis of OFG and a specialized diet consisting of a cinnamon and benzoate restriction as a treatment method. Fast forward to nearly ten years later and my brother is still on that very same diet and has not had a flare up since. To this day, I find myself extremely grateful towards that PA that not only helped my brother but also sparked my interest in medicine and healthcare.
As time went on, my love of learning continued to blossom. I became especially interested in the various science courses I have taken over the years. I fell in love with science not only because it is engaging, but because it is constantly evolving and has allowed me to expand my knowledge further than my imagination. With every science class, I was introduced to a whole new world of knowledge. From studying the movement of plates on the ocean floor to the evolution of human beings, I found myself becoming more and more interested with every topic.
My interest in the PA profession quickly became extremely relevant in my life once again after my father got into a terrible car accident in November of 2017. He spent several days in the hospital after suffering from both head and neck injuries and I found myself devastated to the point where I even began to let my grades suffer. I could not understand what we had done to deserve this. I distinctly remember the PA on the team of doctors assigned to my father coming over and taking the time to sit with my mother and explain in detail the injuries he sustained. Even after my mother had understood what was happening, he still made himself available for my entire family for questions at any time. I couldn’t believe that someone who probably saw over a handful of patients in the emergency room at once would take the time to answer any questions we had no matter how relevant or trivial they seemed. It is because of the kindness, compassion, and concern he showed to not only my father but my entire family during this difficult time that I became sure I wanted to pursue my love of medicine as a PA.
Throughout my undergraduate career, I have continued to explore the medical field in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a PA. Although I struggled in my first two years of school due to my own carelessness, I have spent my last two striving to gain as much experience as I can in order to achieve this goal. Through numerous hours working as a medical assistant at Manhasset Pediatrics in Manhasset, N.Y. I have leaned that proper communication, teamwork, and compassion are crucial for quality patient care. By taking detailed patient histories, noting possible allergies, and verbally corresponding with the practitioner, I have had the opportunity to ensure that patients receive the best possible care.
Every obstacle that I have faced since I was that twelve year old girl walking into an unknown situation has led me to the conclusion I have come to today. The lasting impression of both the PA’s at such different points in my life has only made me more passionate about this profession. I hope to one day share that same connection I felt with patients of my own. With my passion for learning and helping others, I am excited to see how I can use the skills I will gain from a PA program in order to help treat and care for a family just as they did for mine.
Whitney Prosperi says
Melissa,
Your introduction does a good job showing your initial interest in the medical field. I would tighten this section to allow more room for your healthcare journey.
Add a paragraph that shows your clinical skills and medical knowledge. You want to show how you perform your duties and what you have to offer as a future PA. I would include a story that shows you in action providing clinical care while connecting with a patient on a personal level.
Also, add a paragraph about shadowing PAs. What did you learn from watching their interactions with patients? The doctor? Elaborate on what about the profession is appealing to you. The ability to treat autonomously? More time for patient relationships? The ability to switch specialties?
If you need to address grades, I would include a short paragraph toward the end of your essay that tells what happened briefly and then describes the skills you’ve gained (time management or study skills) that will help you avoid similar issues in the future.
Also, I saw where you used the word “lean” when I think you meant “learn.” 🙂
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking essay submissions, if you’d like us to help you revise your essay.
Best of luck to you!
Rebeca Gorodischer says
I’ve has two people read it over, but I want an opinion from people actually in the field. Thank you for taking the time to read my personal statement!
Growing up, I was an easy-going child. I was not a complainer, I rarely got sick, and I did not injure myself much, except for a splinter here and there. When I was thirteen and going through more than the typical stages of puberty, my mom and I set out to find the reasons why I was suddenly so uncomfortable in my skin. Between a chronically itchy scalp, white patches on my arms, a rash on my hands and feet, there was an itchy mole on my back, and my acne was getting worse. So we decided to start with a visit to the dermatologist. The first lesson I learned was that it’s not a coincidence when your whole body is yelling at you at the same time.
During that first visit, while waiting on the exam table, crumpling the paper beneath me with each bounce of my leg, I was shivering, nervous to find out what was wrong with me. After some initial questions about school and my eating and sleeping habits, I was able to ramble off my list of concerns while keeping an eye on my mom to make sure I didn’t forget anything. The initial diagnosis seemed obvious, a pill for my acne, a shampoo for my scalp, and a biopsy for my mole. It was then that we spoke about the coincidence of all of these symptoms occurring around the same time. The idea that my body was communicating with me externally was novel, I didn’t know how to listen. He sent me off to get my blood taken to check my thyroid levels. This was going to be the first step in a series of tests to find out what was going on under the surface. The second lesson I learned was all the pieces of my issues connected to each other to create a bigger picture, like pieces of a puzzle coming together.
After months of various tests and doctor appointments, I was diagnosed with Hashimotos. The process of the diagnosis was as interesting to me as the diagnosis itself. It sparked my interest and desire to have a career in the health field. I want to be able to help people find out what is wrong and what is bothering them. To be able to comfort patients when they are scared and help them the best way I could. For those few months of uncertainty, it was confusing and scary not knowing or understanding what your body is going through. One would think that they have enough self-awareness to understand the body they are living in, and know when something was working properly or not.
Starting college was the first time I was living on my own. I was so nervous that my older sister slept in my dorm with me for the first night. Until then, I never cooked my own meals, made my own schedule, or took care of my own health, both physically and mentally. I was tired, alone and unsure about how to manage my life very well and I saw my grades were slipping. During my second semester of college, I realized I had to regain control of my overall health and my future. I moved into an apartment with two of my friends, which instantly had a positive impact on my social and mental health, which consequently translated to a desire for better health, and all together resulted in better attention to academics. I picked a major and refocused a lot of energy on school. Living with my roommates was like being part of a team. We helped to motivate each other to study harder and do better, we helped to find time to eat healthy and exercise. As is apparent, my grades and GPA shot up and I was doing much better in school, and I was back to being my happy self. I have always been a team player, and this stage of my life was no different.
The specific reason I chose Physicians Assistant (PA) as my desired medical field is that throughout all my medical visits, the ones I felt most comfortable with and I felt helped me the most were the PAs. They had more patience with me, and took more time to sit with me and answer all of my questions. I never felt rushed through an appointment, and I rarely walked away feeling confused or lost about what I learned. Looking back on my personal experiences, I realized that I enjoy working as a team, talking through ideas with others, and bouncing ideas off my colleagues.
Whitney Prosperi says
Rebeca,
Your introduction does a good job of telling your story and how your initial interest in medicine was sparked. It also shows your passion to help other patients through difficult diagnoses and solving their own puzzles.
I would condense this story where you can, as well as the story about you entering college and learning your desire for a team. You will need the characters to add in some more elements that show your journey toward the PA path.
I think it’s effective to talk about the impact the PAs had on you at an early age.
Also, your comments about partnering with a healthcare team are effective. As you know, collaboration is an integral part of the PA’s role.
After you have condensed some, add a paragraph that discusses your healthcare journey. Show your medical knowledge and clinical skills. If you have a patient care story that shows you offering clinical care while connecting with a patient, include that.
I would also include a paragraph that desribes what you learned from shadowing PAs. What did you admire about their interactions with patients? The physician?
Include a paragraph that tells what aspects of the profession speak to you. (more time/contact with patients? the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team?)
Good luck to you. If you need further help, remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Madison M says
Hi! This is my first draft as it stands so far. Any critiques are much appreciated.
It was one of my first overnight shifts as a nursing assistant in a geriatric care facility. Our resident population was down due to several transfers that week, so the other nursing assistant scheduled to come in was cut. Knowing that I typically worked second shift, my LPN offered to help me during my rounds. We made our way down the hallway and quietly into room four to check on Pearl, a non-verbal, stroke-affected resident. I turned on the lamp and gently touched her arm. “Hi Pearl, it’s good to see you! We’re just going to check on you really quickly, is that alright?” Pearl grinned, wrinkling the skin around her bright blue eyes, and nodded. We got to work, Pearl helping out however she could. “I can’t believe this,” the LPN remarked, “Pearl is typically very confused and combative at night. She must really trust you!”
I looked to Pearl and smiled. I realized how special patient-provider bonds could be when properly cultivated with tenderness and caring. In my religion of Buddhism, we strive to achieve tsewa, a Tibetan word that roughly translates to having a tender, radically open heart that benefits all beings. In the healthcare setting, I have found that utilizing tsewa has resulted in the most fulfilling experiences. Despite the routine heartbreak of my position: watching the decline of my dementia-ridden residents, seeing so many being forgotten by their families, and comforting residents and loved ones during their last moments, opening my heart has resulted in many special moments such as this one that have allowed me to provide holistic care and inspired me to continue my career in medicine.
The focus on a holistic approach to medicine in the physician assistant profession has especially drawn me to this particular healthcare role. Although not college educated, my family has always been involved in the medical field. Growing up with ambulance attendants, firefighters, emergency dispatchers, and medical coders as my role models ignited my passion for helping others in need, but none of these careers offered the opportunity to provide the kind of comprehensive care that I so strongly believed in. Shadowing Kelly, a PA-C in an OBGYN office, allowed me to gain a better understanding of the range of care that a physician assistant provides and helped to further solidify my choice of career. It was exciting to witness her not only providing reproductive care but also taking the time to educate her patients, referring them to other specialties for non-reproductive issues, and actively listening to any concerns they might have.
As a physician assistant in the future, I hope to create a care environment in which my patients feel safe and heard. In appreciating the importance of holistic medicine and practicing tsewa, I want to cultivate patient-provider relationships where openness and vulnerability are attainable and celebrated. In a world where so many feel powerless and unheard, I will strive to provide the kind of care that makes even those who are non-verbal feel safe and cared for.
Rylee says
Thank you in advance for reading.
It would be an understatement to say I’m motivated. All-time career leading scorer, most points and rebounds in a game, most rebounds in a career. These are just a few of the basketball records I broke while in high school. At the time, I thought being the best and holding all the records was the biggest reason to participate in sports and be respected in my community. Then I went to college. Within a few days, I realized I had to work twice as hard to keep up with the girls on my team. I went from starting to playing only the last few minutes of a game. I was beginning to hate basketball and there were only two options left; work harder and get better or quit. In that experience, my motivation changed. Being the best I can be, and making a difference for my teammates became the primary goal.
I went to practice with a newfound determination and did the extra workouts needed to help my team to an undefeated national title the next year. This isn’t a Cinderella story; I wasn’t the leading scorer or best player on the team. I was a non-starter, the sixth man, coming off the bench, but I found more joy celebrating that season with my team than I ever had focusing solely on my own achievements. Those first two years of college showed me the value of teamwork and how approaching a challenge as a unit makes a win far more enjoyable.
When my husband, Bryant (boyfriend at the time), was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2016, I got the chance to meet Steve, the PA on Bryant’s treatment team. During the whirlwind that comes with the beginning of a new chemotherapy regimen, Steve took time out of his day to answer every one of our questions and make sure we understood what would happen as Bryant progressed. The role he took in Bryant’s care as well as the time he spent to make sure we had peace of mind sparked my interest in medicine, and pushed me to further research the PA career path.
While researching, I remembered the stories my cousin, Erin, would tell about her encounters with patients. It seemed that for a PA working in an ER, there was never a boring shift. She told these stories with such detail and enthusiasm that there was no doubt she loved her job. I then got another chance to see a PA in action when I met Heidi, an orthopedic PA. While shadowing her, I witnessed her compassion for patients she treated, and again I could both see and feel the joy her job gave her even on the difficult days.
In my senior year, I had coffee with a newly-certified PA who worked in family medicine. Unexpectedly, that meeting turned into a three-hour talk. She answered every one of my questions about PA school, from the application process to the actual career experience, then gave me a ton of advice on how to get through it all. She was genuinely excited about my aspiration to become a PA. It seems every PA I meet has been able to align their career with their passion.
When patients come into the pre-surgical department where I work, they’re usually very anxious about their pending operation. One morning I was sent to the ICU to bring “Jack” directly into the OR. When I arrived and introduced myself, it was obvious that Jack wasn’t expecting to have his surgery that early in the day, and since his family had not yet arrived, he was understandably overwhelmed. I remembered how Steve had treated us whenever a new problem arose in Bryant’s treatment. He would calm our nerves by describing the process or procedure in detail. After explaining what Jack would experience from the moment we left his room to the moment he was asleep, I asked if he needed to talk to the surgeon again. Jack said he was ready and that we could head into surgery. Being able to calm Jack gave me a sense of satisfaction that I want to pursue every day in my career.
In the year since graduation, I’ve realized that I miss the structure of the classroom and the sense of accomplishment that comes from each step in learning something new. I notice myself trying to fill the void by refreshing my Spanish or taking up the guitar. As a PA, the need to learn and grow will be satisfied every day, and the bar will be raised for the next day’s work. I understand and am excited by the fact that my medical education will not be complete once I am a practicing PA, I will need to continue learning about new processes and treatments to ensure I am providing my patients with the best care possible.
I used to think teamwork just meant people coming together to accomplish a goal. I realize now that it’s something bigger than that. True teamwork means that the members are selfless and compassionate towards one another, and are driven to put in long hours and hard work in order for the team (and the patients they serve) to succeed. This was one of the best lessons I could have learned in college. By completing my PA education, I’ll be able to leverage what I’ve learned in sports and my undergraduate career towards a life as a Physician Assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Rylee,
I like your introduction about learning the value of teamwork. As you know, this is such a vital part of the PA’s role.
Also, you do a good job of showing your developing awareness and interest in the PA profession. The story about your husband is compelling. So is the one about when you walked Jack through a similar situation.
I would highlight some more aspects of the PA profession that you find appealing, showing that you are a good fit for this work. What appeals to you? (the potential for more time/contact with patients? the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician? increased access to diverse specialties?)
I also like how you tie your conclusion back to your introduction.
I would go through your essay word by word, condensing where you can.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember we are taking submissions for our essay service if we can help you further.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Brandi McElroy says
Hi, I am stumped on how I can make my personal statement stand out. All comments welcome.
I remember being a young girl around 10 years old at a conference in Dallas for Sickle Cell Disease awareness when my mother tells me quietly “Pay attention, this may interest you one day.” Of course, as a naïve child these words went right over my head. However, throughout my adolescence and into adulthood my drive to pursue medicine intensified with each new experience.
My specific interest in healthcare began with an overall love of school and the learning process. From a young age I was placed into accelerated courses due to teachers noticing how bored I appeared during class. Throughout middle school my interest shifted more towards life sciences, then in high school I became certain I wanted to pursue a career in the medical field. Much of this reason stemmed from my mother’s nursing career and constant events throughout the predominately minority community I attended with her as she was a single mother and there was often no one able to look after me.
When my mother pursued her Nurse Practitioner degree, I was often her clinical “guinea pig”, terminology quizzer, and various other hats. Seeing her approach patients and provide compassionate care further steered me towards my passion for biology, pharmacology, and patient contact. One of her first real-life patients was her father who I had the privilege as knowing as “Grandpa Shaky” and lived with us during my later high school years. Living his entire life in Bastrop, Louisiana my grandfather was not accustomed to regularly visiting and trusting healthcare providers, nor was there a large volume of providers in that region. However, watching him emotionally and physically deteriorate from being misdiagnosed with anemia, to multiple myeloma and kidney failure first opened my eyes to the more somber side of medicine. Had it not been initially misdiagnosed, he perhaps would have had a few more years to spend with loved ones. Throughout these painful few months I learned that medicine is not just about what is in books but about teaching and creating personalized relationships, especially in rural communities.
Transitioning to university studies at Tarleton State University, I had it set that I would one day want an excelling career in the health care field, but I was still unsure of my ultimate goal. Switching majors between Pre-Veterinary, Pre-Pharmacy, and General Biology I still felt as if I was still a distance from my potential.
Knowing that I wanted to be involved in life sciences, after Tarleton I dove into the world of clinical research for patients with Luminal and Hepatology diseases. It was here that I began broad range of patient contact including phlebotomy, collecting samples during colonoscopies, and performing FibroScan on patients. During this time, I first became affiliated with physician assistants as they were the sub-investigators for the multiple trials I coordinated. I was able to see first-hand how they effectively created a balance between being both affirmative with treatment directions and compassion with the patients.
But what was my “moment”? The truth is, I did not have a profound “Aha!” event that many of my college classmates had when they realized medicine was their calling. Rather, it was an escalation of small instances that created an overwhelming sense of understanding my drive to become a physician assistant, beginning with my grandfather. Explaining to him the purpose and necessity of his medications. Watching how the physician assistants were able to effortlessly connect with patients; frail Jane with ulcerative colitis who forced to have extra delicateness during blood draws; assisting in conducting routine blood pressure checks at my home church. With all of the small instances that occurred while being involved in the healthcare field came the realization how much more I wanted to learn about medicine along with its limitless discoveries and undiscovered benefits. I came to terms that I want to be the physician assistant patients can trust and know their needs are heard and put first, especially in communities with limited medical knowledge so other Grandpa Shaky’s receive the exemplary care they deserve.
Breanna says
Hi! This is the first draft of my PS, any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much in advance!
The call came in at 0100 hours. It was muffled and barely audible, but the look on the other EMTs’ faces told me it was serious. We boarded the rig and off we went, lights and sirens. On scene, there was a middle-aged male in serious condition. He was crawling along the sidewalk with obvious deformities to his legs, gasping for air as blood trickled down his face. The man had been assaulted. We quickly loaded him onto the ambulance and sped toward the hospital. As we pulled in, the patient’s status rapidly started to decline. His oxygen saturation dipped as he suffocated on his blood, despite our efforts to suction the airway. Luckily, the trauma team was waiting for us as we wheeled the patient into the emergency department (ED) trauma room. A swarm of providers enveloped the patient. I started to walk out of the room, knowing I did what I could to sustain the patient. It is one of the hardest parts of EMS, leaving my patients behind, never knowing if my preliminary care truly helped them. This time was different. One of the PAs tapped me on the shoulder as I walked out of the trauma room and asked me if I would like to watch the initial treatment and intubation of the patient. She explained that she was an EMT once and wished someone allowed her to witness what happened to her patients after transitioning care. We walked back into the trauma room. The PA stood next to me throughout the procedure, explaining each step of treatment along the way. I was inspired by her warm, amiable, encouraging attitude, and was the moment I became sparked with a desire to go beyond EMS care. I wanted to become a PA.
Since that night, I have done everything I could to explore the healthcare field and understand what it takes to become a PA. I worked hard the remainder of my undergraduate career, maintaining an upward trend in grades and solidifying excellent time management and study method skills. I accepted a position as a medical scribe in a busy ED, which has allowed me to work closely with a large number of PAs and other providers. When the PAs heard I wanted to become a PA, they quickly took me under their wing. Each shift became a mini lesson, preparing me for the rigor of PA school. They taught me how to interpret labs and imaging, described why certain medications were suitable certain patients, and explained which results and symptoms led to each diagnosis. Even when the PAs were not directly teaching me, I was learning from them through observation. I learned the value of team-based healthcare as I became part of the PAs collaborative teams with physicians and nurses. I saw the importance of versatility and adaptability as the PAs transitioned from patient to patient. Through learning and observing the PAs in the ED, I obtained skills as a scribe no course could ever teach me such as, how important accountability, detailed note taking, compassion and effective communication are for successful patient care. The guidance and support of the PAs has only solidified my desire to become a PA myself.
While scribing has given me diagnostic knowledge, volunteering as an EMT has allowed me to hone my provider to patient interaction skills. When I am called to a scene, it is usually the worst day of my patient’s life. They are frightened and in pain. It is my responsibility not only to treat the patient, but to console them and their loved ones. Whether the call is for sharp, crushing chest pain or a simple scrape to the knee, I calmly explain each step of treatment along the way. With each blood pressure I take, medication I administer, and Band-Aid I apply, I treat my patients as if they were family, deserving the best care I could possibly give. If being an EMT had taught me anything, it is that it is the patient’s emergency, not mine. I must take control of the situation, suppress my anxieties, have confidence in my decisions, relax the patient and keep their heart beating until we reach the hospital. After care is transitioned, and I leave my patients in the care of PAs, doctors and nurses, I wonder if what I did in the back of the ambulance was enough, if my patient survived, if their quality of life has improved because of my early intervention. I no longer want to ponder about the outcome of my patients. I want to know.
It has been almost two years since I responded at 0100 hours to my critical condition patient on the sidewalk. Just as I do not know his final outcome, he does not know the impact he left on my life that night. He indirectly led me to my life’s calling to become a PA. Since that night I have worked hard to sharpen and acquire the skills necessary to become a successful PA. I am ready to become part of a larger care team and follow the outcome of my patients through the end. I eagerly look forward to the day I inspire a young EMT to push herself, work hard and achieve more than she ever could imagine by becoming a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Breanna,
Your introduction catches the reader’s attention right off! It also reveals your desire to do more for patients while showing that initial spark of interest in the PA profession.
I also like how you mention a team-based approach to healthcare. This is key to the PA’s role, as you know.
You do a good job showing how you perform your duties. You may want to include one short patient care story that displays you in action, providing clinical care while connecting on a personal level.
I would condense, word by word, where you can. This will sharpen your writing.
If we can assist you with our revision service, know that we’re taking submissions.
Good luck to you in this process.
Hadley McLaren says
4/30 This is a revision of a previous essay, thank you for reading!
When I was in high school and people would ask me why I wanted to be in the medical field I would respond “it’s just what I’ve always wanted to do”, the most cliché answer in the books. Halfway through college as classes were becoming more difficult, the demand for patient contact hours more apparent, and the number of hours needed at my job increasing, I began to ask myself: why am I really doing this? The answer became clear after researching the various medical professions and looking back on my experiences volunteering, shadowing, and working as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT). A career as a Physician’s Assistant (PA) stood out immensely due to its focus on holistic medicine through a generalist training and preventative care.
I maintain a holistic approach in my own life where I value a balance between diet, exercise, and mental wellbeing. The focus on preventative care as a PA would allow me to practice what I preach and serve as a positive influence to motivate people to be proactive, rather than reactive with their health. Interning at a Cardiopulmonary Rehabilitation Clinic allowed me to be involved with and witness improvement in patient condition through lifestyle modification. I would monitor patient vitals before, during, and after exercise as well as interview them at the start of each session on how they currently felt and any changes in their medication. In the four months that I interned I observed multiple patients’ rates of exertion and blood pressure decrease while simultaneously modifying medications to a lower dosage, proof of the effectiveness of lifestyle modification for a healthier wellbeing. I look forward to discover additional ways this holistic approach can influence the health of the population; being a PA would allow me to focus on prevention by considering lifestyle, diet, and mental well-being in patient care, as well as understanding of when pharmacological intervention is necessary.
My time as an EMT gave me the opportunity to practice this well-rounded care approach. As a first responder, I am required to know a little bit of information about a lot of topics, comparable to PA generalist training. This teaches me not to be too focused on one sign or symptom and instead recognize how intertwined the body systems are. Chest pain is one of the most common chief complaints of patients that I see. Chest pain might originate from issues with the heart; however, it could also come from the lungs, GI tract, bones, or a multitude of causes. By asking the right questions of other signs or symptoms, events leading up to the complaint, history, medications, etc., my partner and I can obtain the necessary information that narrows down the cause to determine if the case of chest pain is serious or not. It is critical to distinguish between what is serious and what is not before reaching the hospital, just as it would be critical for me, as a PA, to recognize when it is necessary to consult a Physician.
The partnership between a Physician and a PA is something I am looking forward to because I have experienced a similar relationship between me as an EMT and my Paramedic partner. I value this teamwork that provides the patient with the most complete assessment and care as well as the collaboration that will allow me to continuously learn and grow.
The relationship between the patient and myself is also one that I value. I volunteered at Hospice by sitting with patients while providing companionship and a peaceful presence. One day I sat with a woman who could communicate, but only at a basic level and who did not show much emotion. As I helped feed her, I spoke to her about aimless topics and attempted an occasional joke or two. I have a clear picture in my mind of when I was able to get a slight laugh and smile from her. From that moment on I noticed more openness in her as we conversed; and before I left, she said “thank you for taking the time to actually speak to me, I appreciate your positivity.” This represents the support and respect necessary to give patients to establish trust.
As an EMT I see people at the beginning of their hardships and as a Hospice volunteer I see people at the end. Together they provide an understanding of the varying degrees of medical care required at different stages. Becoming a PA would allow me to intervene in the middle and complete each part of medical care in the most wholesome way possible.
Whitney Prosperi says
Hadley,
In this busy season, I can only offer comments once on this format.
If you would like to submit your essay for our revisions service, we are taking submissions. (Don’t hear me saying you need this. I’m just letting you know.)
Good luck to you!!
Sarah says
Thank you advance for your feedback!
As the van winded around sheer cliffs and passed rusty pickup trucks with a dozen people in the truck bed, I anxiously awaited my arrival at the San Lucas Tolimán mission and did not know what to expect from the coming months as a long-term volunteer. My time proved to be an eye opening experience into the medical, educational, and practical needs of the Guatemalan people. While I served many roles at the mission, my time working as a medical assistant and translator was the most impactful.
While working at remote field clinics, I managed intake, took vitals, and helped translate for visiting medical students. There, I saw how short-term and immediate medical needs were being met, but wondered about the long term healthcare needs of these communities. While working at a weekly diabetes clinic, I washed and examined patients’ feet and gave basic home self-care instructions for the patients. Seeing these proactive and educational clinics offered at the hospital helped balance the tragic realities of performing home visits for terminal patients with a volunteer nurse. As I sat by the bed of a young woman dying of a bone cancer diagnosed too late for treatment and after visiting and sitting with the family whose father’s skin cancer had metastasized past the point of care, I better understood the importance of compassion and human connection during end of life care. My experience in Guatemala led to questions of how I can serve both communities and individuals in need, which I continued to discern in college.
Reflecting on my time at Boston College, one phrase sticks out: “Men and Women for Others.” At a Jesuit university, I learned a great deal academically while also given the opportunity to explore how I am called to serve others. I continued volunteering in Honduras and Guatemala during my winter breaks and found a wonderful community of students and staff interested in servant leadership. As a first generation college student, I initially struggled with the academic rigor at Boston College while having to balance my academics with multiple jobs that allowed me to pay for school. However, as I learned the power of asking for help, balancing my time, and working with others to excel, I began to exceed academically in my undergraduate degree, MBA, and current prerequisite courses.
After graduation, I worked with students both professionally and led student retreats and service trips. Working in student development was extremely rewarding and I have witnessed many parallels to medicine—meeting others where they are, providing necessary resources and education, and working to connect on a compassionate and human level. In Texas, I continued to work in student development, focusing on student well-being. I supervised and worked with our university nurse to provide educational health resources for our students and increase influenza vaccines and basic hygiene practices. We saw a decreasing amount of on-campus flu cases over a three year period and during a regional outbreak of mumps, I instituted policies that mitigated the spread of cases on campus. As the emergency on-call personnel, I regularly responded to student mental health and medical emergencies on campus and worked with EMS and others to ensure an appropriate response.
After years of discernment, I found that while student development was rewarding, I felt pulled to serve others through medicine. To start the process, I obtained my EMT-B certification in hopes of gaining medical experience. I had shadowed a physician assistant (PA) working in an arrhythmia department in Boston and loved the balance of independently seeing patients while serving as part of a medical team to meet the overall needs of patients. I continued to shadow PAs and community clinics in Texas to better understand the role and different directions the profession can take.
I began volunteering at the Agape Clinic, serving as a medical assistant, taking vitals, scribing for a PA and the clinical director, assisting in procedures, and providing point of care testing. I saw both the independent side of a PA’s role as well as the regular collaboration between colleagues. My time at Agape confirmed my desire to work as a PA: advocating for, helping educate, and meeting the medical needs of patients. In March, the clinic offered me a fulltime job as a scribe and medial assistant; however, with the uncertainty of COVID-19, the clinic did not want me at the clinic due to my pregnancy. I plan to return to the clinic later this summer or early fall and will continue gaining experience, honing skills, and observing and working closely with the PAs and other providers. While over the years I have served others in different capacities, I have found a passion for serving others in a healthcare setting. I believe strongly that I would be able to continue to follow my calling most successfully as a PA—as both an educator and a provider of life-giving services.
Whitney Prosperi says
Sarah,
I like your opening and see your passion to help people there and throughout your essay.
I also think you do a good job showing that you understand the role of the PA. You mention collaboration which is a vital part of the part.
You do a good job mentioning your grades and how you adapted in order to succeed going forward.
I would elaborate some on your shadowing experience. What struck you about the interactions between patients and PAs? Patients and the supervising physician? How did this confirm your decision?
I would also go through your essay word by word. Condense where you can.
I wish you good luck.
Remember, we’re taking submissions if you should decide you’d like to use our essay revision service.
Sarah O says
Hi Whitney,
Thank you very much for the feedback–it is much appreciated!
Best,
Sarah
Raul Leyva says
Hi, first draft for personal statement. Should I rewrite it? Any feedback would be great- I had no direction but I tried to put my experiences in here. I am over the limit- what should I remove??
A seven-year-old boy, having to interpret and explain to his Mexican immigrant mother in the clinic, what the English-speaking doctor was saying. An eight-year-old boy watching family members take medication incorrectly because they did not understand the directions. At nine years he promised his epileptic mother that one day he would find the cure to her disease. Fast forward to a 13 year-old-boy going into surgery for a tonsillectomy. This boy was scared yet fascinated by these experiences. An area in science had finally sparked and captured his every ounce of attention: medicine.
I was the young boy in that story coming from a predominately Hispanic community. These are some of my earliest experiences where I can recollect being exposed to healthcare at such a young age. Science was always my favorite subject, but I never realized how many opportunities were available in the world of medicine. It was not until my freshman year of high school that I was introduced to the physician assistant profession by my counselor. Then my senior year began, and I chose to shadow the PAs at the Hamilton County Hospital. I spent as much time as I could learning and asking questions at my local clinic. From that experience, I was hooked on the versatility of the profession; I left my rural community to attend college but with a promise to return to rural Kansas as a county provider.
My education started at Garden City Community College as staying close to home was important to me. I quickly signed up for as many science courses as I could, and over time realized how interconnected these different courses really were. I studied a variety of subjects such as chemistry, microbiology, human anatomy, and physiology. I was encouraged by my instructor to apply to the human cadaver dissection team as my study skills placed me in the top 10% of the class. Scalpels, scissors, forceps, and probes were some of the few tools I was able to transform from a regular pencil in the classroom into something I could visualize, manipulate and use to expand my knowledge of the human body. To my surprise, I found that on top of my regular coursework I still felt like I could learn more; so, I enrolled in the emergency medical technician program.
A,B,C. These three letters were on my mind every single day, representing the words airway, breathing, and circulation. I found myself practicing on my classmates, instructors, rubber manikins, and even on my family. Working while being a full-time college student is never easy, but I have never seen my patients as a job. Working in a rapidly changing profession, I was quickly able to shift and adapt among a wide assortment of emergency situations, similar to physician assistants working in an emergency room. I supplemented my patient care skills by also working as a pharmacy technician during college. Learning the unique traits of medications, while working alongside pharmacists and providers has been one of the most challenging yet rewarding tasks I have been asked to do as a young college student.
My journey did not stop there; Kansas State University challenged me even more. I was presented an opportunity of a lifetime when I applied and got accepted into the prestigious Developing Scholars program where I was awarded an undergraduate breast cancer research grant. Every day I was motivated to learn, grow, and develop new ways to help create a new drug therapy. I never knew the power of research until I was involved in it and saw how the effort could potentially save lives in the future. Volunteering as a medical assistant at the local Manhattan low-income/free clinic has opened my eyes to the health disparities affecting those most vulnerable.
These combined volunteer, leadership, clinical, and academic experiences at community college, university, and past employment have laid the foundation necessary to excel in the PA profession. I have finally recognized the value a healthcare provider can play in the leadership in a community from an early age and throughout my academic career. Becoming a physician assistant is the bridge needed for me to respond to the need for primary rural care providers in underserved populations in Kansas.
Whitney Prosperi says
Raul,
I like the snapshots from your childhood in your introduction.
I think you should condense where you can throughout your entire essay. This will leave room for more details showing why you are suited for the PA path.
I would add more information about why the PA profession is right for you. What aspects speak to you? (the potential for more time/contact with patients? the balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician? the collaboration with a healthcare team?)
Also, I would detail any shadowing experiences you have had. What did you admire from watching the PAs interact with patients? The healthcare team?
I would also add one story that shows you in action providing clinical care for a patient while connecting with him/her on a personal level.
For your conclusion, add a sentence or two that ties back to the little boy in the stories- you!
Good luck!
If you would like further help, remember that we’re taking essay submissions for our essay revision service.
Mackenzie says
As I stood and waited for my name to be called, the pounding in my chest grew stronger. I watched those before me dash down the runway, plant their poles, and struggle to make it over the cross bar. I was next. I gripped my pole and watched my knuckles turn white. I stepped on the runway and glared at the cross bar set at 8’ 6’’. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and whispered, “You can do this.” As I was sprinting down the runway, my adrenaline took control, and the next thing I remember is lying flat on the mat staring up at the cross bar, perfectly still. I did it, I reached my goal! To this day, I continue to reach the goals I set for myself through discipline and determination. With these qualities, I plan to make it over another, even higher, “cross bar” – becoming a physician assistant.
I was exposed to medicine early by my father, who is a surgeon, but my personal interest in medicine sprouted in high school. I had a fascination for the sciences. This fascination got me a job working as an assistant in a surgery center. Though I wasn’t allowed to practice hands on, I was surrounded by all thing’s science. It was then that I decided to pursue a degree in biomedical sciences at Auburn. The education and experiences I gained in college further solidified my path to pursuing a career as a PA. Each semester I was exposed to a variety of courses, some similar and others entirely unalike. These courses included classes like cell biology, histology, and microbiology. I was determined to absorb all this new information and learn the different ways they fit together. Given the wide range of subjects I was studying, it was vital I learn how to shift my thinking accordingly. I approached my classes looking to identify the similarities and differences, which allowed me to find their overlaps. I began to enjoy the challenge these courses presented me with, and they left me wanting to learn more. My enthusiasm to continue learning how shift my knowledge between different subjects is similar to that of a PA who has the ability to shift their knowledge and skills between different specialties. My ability to handle a diverse course load while problem solving is a skill that is expected from PAs by their peers and patients.
After graduating, I became a medical assistant volunteer at a concierge clinic. I conducted physicals by performing EKGs and testing hearing, circulation and lung capacity. I was responsible for prepping patients for their appointment. This included taking vitals, obtaining a medical history, and recording active medications. I found that being able to perform these tests is beneficial, but I learned that mere knowledge is just the beginning when interacting with patients. I was not only there to gather information about the patient, but also to make them feel comfortable about their appointment. Communication with patients proved to be just as important as effective communication between colleagues. While shadowing a PA, I was amazed by the intense teamwork. There was a patient the PA had been treating for months with no luck. I remember her approaching her colleagues and asking them their input on the patient. After reviewing the chart, they agreed upon a plan of action. Compassion and effective communication differentiate between good and great patient care. These skills are vital as a PA, and they are skills that I learned and acquired while working part-time during college. I worked my way up to manager where I learned how to work on a team. I learned how to communicate with my boss, managers, and fellow employees. As the manager, I also gained valuable leadership qualities. Each day I was faced with different challenges that forced me to use my professional skills to resolve them. In addition, I enjoy leading those on my team by guiding and teaching them. Through my position as manager, I have learned how to be a valuable asset on a team, just as PA, who must be able to lead their patients and work alongside other professionals.
Since applying to PA school last year, I have continued to work to make myself a stronger applicant. I am now working full time as a medical assistant at a dermatology office. This job constantly challenges me to push past my “limits,” and for that I am grateful. I am continuing to learn the importance of putting my patients as my foremost priority in every situation, and how to successfully communicate with them. I am consistently exposed to new medicine, whether it be skin cancers, rashes or autoimmune diseases. In addition, I volunteer at Shepard’s Hope Health Center alongside health professionals to bring healthcare to those in need. I also volunteer weekly at my church in the children’s nursery. I also made the decision to take additional courses to further strengthen my application.
I am confident that, by applying dedication and discipline to every challenge I’ve faced, I have gained the skills needed to excel in PA school. First, due to the vigor and diversity of my school schedule, I learned how to shift my thinking appropriately. Second, my volunteer and shadowing experiences have taught me the value of teamwork and communication. Lastly, I remain determined to what is necessary to strengthen myself as an applicant in order to enter my second application cycle. Just as I exceeded the cross bar as a pole vaulter, I plan to achieve the same outcome in PA school and as a future PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Mackenzie,
You do a good job showing your developing interest in medicine.
I also like how you showed what you learned from the PAs you work with regarding teamwork.
I would write a paragraph that shows you interacting with a patient on a personal level, providing patient care while calming an anxious patient for example. You want to show how you perform your duties and what you have to offer as a future PA.
I would also go through your essay word by word, condensing where you can.
You do a good job tying your conclusion back to your introduction.
Good luck to you.
I’m not saying you need this, but remember that we are taking submissions in case you want to use our essay revision service.
Christina says
You only live once. This phrase, affectionately abbreviated YOLO, was popularized in 2011 by rapper Drake. In 2017, it became popularized in my house by my mom following the death of both of my grandmothers just four months apart. Though typically thrown around as a slang term, the phrase YOLO has a much more significant meaning in my life. It is true that you only get one life to live and thus it is important that that life is meaningful and has purpose, a life that you are proud of when the curtains finally close.
The summer after my grandmothers passed, I was set to enter the first of three years in a doctorate of physical therapy graduate program. I had been following a biology-physical therapy track since my freshman year, however, I had never been completely sure that physical therapy was what I wanted to do. I had no alternative plan though, so I kept going through the motions and eventually began the graduate program. The problem was, I never felt a sense of true fulfillment in the physical therapy field. I had shadowed a few physical therapists during my undergraduate studies and truly enjoyed working and interacting with patients, but I did not enjoy the day to day tasks of the physical therapists. I felt like I could make a greater impact on my community and connect with individuals on a greater level. I went to school miserable every day because I felt like I was preparing myself for a life of unhappiness. I couldn’t help but think of my grandmothers and how suddenly they were gone, never having the chance to do the things they’d always dreamed of doing. With my grandmothers and YOLO in mind, I did the craziest and bravest thing I’ve ever done – I left the physical therapy program. I was back to the drawing board and this time, I was not going to settle. I was going to find a career that I was passionate about.
I tried teaching biology to high school sophomores and tried the corporate world working as a customer support scientist at a biotech company. Working in teaching and customer support roles reinforced the importance of patience, but also enhanced my ability to communicate, diffuse situations, and to be comfortable in stressful environments. While I enjoyed these jobs, they still lacked something. I didn’t feel that I was reaching my potential to make a difference in my community.
One night I was talking with my mom about my options, discussing what I liked and disliked about each job and what they had in common. What I found was that these very different jobs all had one thing in common – providing services to people in need. We talked about giving the medical field another try and about my becoming a physician assistant. I had known about the physician assistant profession because I shared many of my undergraduate courses with pre-PAs. In my head I listed all the reasons why I could not be a physician assistant. My mom shook her head, and said “Remember, you only live once”.
Since then being a physician assistant has been in my head and in my heart. I kept repeating to myself, “why not?” If I wanted it badly enough, I knew it was something I could achieve. I started looking at the process of applying to schools, I learned more about the profession itself, and I learned that it was an attainable goal if it was something I really wanted, and it was. I registered myself for a few outstanding prerequisites, put in my two weeks at my customer support job and found a direct patient care position.
Now I work at a podiatrist office as a medical assistant. It wasn’t until recently that I realized what makes this job different from the others. Each day, I am excited to go to work. I look forward to seeing and working with patients, I enjoy the challenges and the new things that I learn each day. When I go home after working a twelve hour shift, I feel fulfilled and go to bed knowing that I made a difference that day.
Working in a clinical setting, we see patients of all backgrounds. The ability to learn from and connect with patients has been the most rewarding part of my job. To me, there is no better reward than encountering an individual, doing everything I can do to help them, and leaving them better than they were when I first met them. Whether it be dressing a wound, taking an x-ray, or just talking to patients about their life, I truly enjoy every part of my work.
By becoming a physician assistant, I hope to gain a sense of fulfillment that I have made a positive impact on my community, and potentially on a larger scale. I have found that sometimes the greatest adventures in life are the ones we never intend to take. Though I never intended to be a physician assistant, each step in my journey has solidified my desire to become one. Despite my fears and my doubts, I am applying to your PA program because my mom taught me, you only live once. I know that becoming a physician assistant will give me a life that is meaningful, and one that I am proud of.
Whitney Prosperi says
The story about your grandmothers and YOLO is compelling. I think you should condense this part some to allow for more room to discuss why you chose the PA path. You can still mention the parts of your journey but shorten them somewhat to focus more on why you want to become a PA and why the profession is a good fit for you.
Do you have any experience shadowing PAs? If so, describe what you admired about the interactions you witnessed between PAs and patients and PAs and physicians. How did this further draw you to the profession? You may also want to mention collaboration since this is such a huge part of the PA role.
I would include a patient care story that shows you interacting with a patient who motivated you to increase your scope of practice. Add a paragraph that shows you in action performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient. This will reveal more about your clinical and personal skills with patients.
Good luck to you!
Ashley says
Hi, I did a revision on my first draft and would love some feedback on it. Hope this shows why I want to be a PA. Thanks.
At the age of 17, I made a tough decision for myself, my education, and my future. I decided that it was time to leave my family in Hong Kong (HK) and return to the U.S, for the first time since I was 9 years old, to finish out high school. Returning to the US would allow me to further my education and opportunities. Being back here alone by being a first-generation college student and financially dependent on myself was rough. I was incredibly thankful for the opportunity to receive a wonderful education here while finishing high school. I got to explore the healthcare field which I had been interested in since I was in HK. In HK, I lived in a village with a culture of helping the elderly. When I got back to the U.S. in 2014, I started volunteering at a local senior center as a part of embracing my culture by preventing them from being underserved.
Getting to know the seniors at the senior center was inspiring to me. All the things they have achieved gave me motivation to do more. I had told some seniors my goal in life in becoming a Physician Assistant (PA), their faces lit up and said “We need more people like you!”as they grasped my hands. It was devastating for me when some of the seniors passed away when I was in college, I was unable to show them what I have achieved so far.
During my final year of high school, I shadowed healthcare workers such as Nurse Practitioners, Physicians, and PAs. Shadowing a PA, continued to deepen my interest in the profession. I felt PAs had strong connections to their patients while being a primary care provider for them. Physicians also have a lot of trust in PAs, while having the independence I wanted.
I then decided to attend The University of Vermont (UVM) majoring in radiation therapy (RT). I believe the decision to attend UVM before applying to PA school allowed me to continue to build my support system and experiences in the healthcare field. As my clinical experience in RT began, some of these patients reminded me of caring for the community I lived with in HK by needing my comfort and support.
During my RT clinical experience, there was one patient I will never forget. The oncologist had diagnosed this patient with prostate cancer. I only cared for this patient for 4 of his 8 weeks of treatment. However during this 4 week rotation, I was able to learn more about him through stories he told during the daily walks to the treatment room and gained his trust. After I had moved to a different rotation, the patient went out of his way to come thank me for the care and treatment I gave him. This gratuity meant the world to me. I felt essential to his support system. As a PA, I will value this experience and continue to build deeper connections with my patients.
As much as I enjoy my time working as a RT student, I want to do more. As a PA I would be able to help a larger population of patients and increase my knowledge so patients can rely on my expertise. I want to diagnose and evaluate patients while giving them the support they need. I want to develop and manage treatment plans for each unique patient and perform procedures to alleviate their pain. I want to improve healthcare access and the quality of care to the underserved. I want to be responsible for giving them the compassion and care they need to receive their highest quality of life.
During my time at UVM, I worked over 30 hours a week on top of being a full-time student to become financially stable. I worked the front-desk in a residence hall throughout my four years of college. During school breaks, I provided child care for families and continued to volunteer at the local senior center. I also became a Lead Resident Advisor (LRA). When I was an LRA, I gained leadership experience by mentoring and supervising a group of 54 college residents. I learned to support every one of my residents based on their unique backgrounds and interests by being present. As part of this position, I built a community where residents could depend on me. As a PA, I will use these skills to learn about each patient’s background and accommodate their specific needs while providing guidance.
I know my GPA may not be the competitive part of my application. This is due to my mistake of taking up too many responsibilities at once when I was not ready. I have learned from these challenging experiences and have built up a better strategy with my academics and extracurricular in the last two years of college. I have overcome many obstacles and continued to build my healthcare experience so I am more prepared. I am ready to face the rigor of this program, and I know I will be able to conquer its challenges. I am confident I will be able to excel in PA school.
Ever since leaving Hong Kong at 17 and being a first-generation student, it has given me the independence and maturity to continue to grow and the ability to quickly adapt to my surroundings. I have been persistent in achieving my goals and have an unwavering passion to become a PA. PA school is a new chapter in my life that I am excited to pursue.
Megan says
It was the second day of my freshman year of high school when we got the phone call. After a 19 year battle with breast cancer, my grandmother was hospitalized and told the disease had spread. Upon visiting her that day, the nurses and providers were so invested in my grandmother and family and brought a lightness to the room that it so deeply needed. It was in that moment that I realized I wanted to make that difference for others, and my eyes were opened to the healthcare field. My grandmother then spent her final months at my house receiving hospice care. Although it was difficult, I am grateful to have had this time with her and cherish the memories we created. While the story may seem cliché, observing the care my grandmother received during a transformative time in my life has driven every academic decision since. Over the next few years, I took every health or science related class in high school that I could, including a nursing assistant course where I spent half the school day working at a skilled nursing facility. Through these courses, volunteering at a local hospital, attending medical camps, and shadowing different providers, I fell in love with the idea of becoming a physician assistant (PA). The flexibility to pursue different modes of care especially stood out to me. One day in particular, I was shadowing a PA while she assisted with a hand surgery and I could not take my eyes off the procedure. I was impressed with how involved she was and how well she, the physician, and the nurses worked together. I became aware of how PA’s are vital members of healthcare teams with vast autonomy and responsibility, while serving an important role in providing affordable and readily available care. Coming from a rural town, I realized a career as a PA would be an excellent fit for my desires to provide care and give back to my community and others like it.
In college, I continued my pursuit of my dream career by following the pre-PA academic track while balancing a difficult schedule as a member of the Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) Women’s Soccer team. As a four-year division I student-athlete, my work-ethic, communication, and teamwork have been put to the test. Having played soccer for 18 years, I have learned how to work and communicate with a variety of different personalities and recognized that in order to have success on the field, everyone must be on the same page. Having a strong work-ethic was also vital, as playing soccer was both physically and mentally taxing. I had no option other than to give my best effort in everything that I did, which in turn earned me a starting position as a freshman among a highly talented group. This work-ethic was key for me off the field as well. Through studying on plane rides, bus trips, and on the way to practices, I managed to graduate with a cumulative 4.0 GPA. This was not easy, and it is something that I am extremely proud of. I believe these qualities I have gained through playing division I soccer will be crucial to my success in PA school and ultimately a career as a PA.
After my final season, with the hours once devoted to practices, games, and travelling free to me, I enrolled in an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) course and began working as a scribe. Through scribing in the emergency department (ED) at a level I trauma center, I have been exposed to a variety of medical emergencies, the “behind the scenes” of patient care, and the communication and decision making that goes into it. I worked alongside both physicians and PAs and was consistently inspired by the level of care given by PAs. Further, once I received my EMT certification, I began working as an EMT and ED technician. On only my second day, I assisted in chest compressions during two separate cardiac arrests. I was thrilled to be trusted with that responsibility and I feel the ability to think clearly and perform under pressure that I gained from soccer aided my confidence to act. Giving back to my community was another post-graduation goal of mine, which drove me to begin volunteering in a patient care position at a local free clinic. Between triaging patients and shadowing a PA at the clinic, I have seen how socioeconomic and health insurance status affects patients’ treatment options and the importance of PAs in these settings.
Thinking back to that first day visiting my grandmother in the hospital, I feel as though I am honoring her with every step I take on my journey towards becoming a PA. Since setting my sights on a career in healthcare on that day eight years ago, I have not wavered from the path and my experiences caring for patients have continuously solidified my aspirations for becoming a PA. I believe the diversity of my experiences has, and will continue to, provide me with the foundation for a career as a PA and I look forward to making a positive impact on others like I felt so many years ago.
Cinthia says
Hi! This is my second draft, I tried my best at hitting every point you advised me to change. I hope this new draft shows why I want to be a PA and qualifications for it through my journey. Thank you so much for your time!
Matteo’s dad cried on my shoulder in the ICU saying, “Every time we think of that day, your face pops up. We will never forget you. Thank you for wanting the best for Matteo.” I was grateful, but reluctant to be part of such a memory. I had been called to PACU to translate the nurse stating that Matteo will be fine, there was nothing to worry about. His parents’ fear quickly mitigated as they found comfort through our native language. I remember the golden, tanned 6-year-old boy yawning and moving his arms as I placed a wet cloth around his forehead. He was fighting to wake up. But I wish I could have done more to help. I wish my promise to his parents remained. I wish Matteo was taken for a CT scan sooner. Perhaps that would have saved his life from the intracerebral hemorrhage he suffered.
This tragedy made me doubt my career path in healthcare for the first time. It felt like I was in college again when I was back and forth between medical or nursing school. It wasn’t until I attended an information session with an admission representative where I heard about the PA profession for the first time. I was stunned at how confident she was and how highly she spoke about becoming a PA, giving me the desire to learn more about it. Although it was extremely difficult to take a gap year as she suggested, it has been the best decision I have ever made, as my experiences throughout this year have reassured me that pursuing a career as a PA is the path I want to be on.
Joining APPA my last semester of college confirmed my decision to become a PA. It was exciting hearing a PA at every meeting inform us of their path, but even more so listen to how much they truly love their job and how they wouldn’t have any other way. I spent most of my time volunteering feeding the homeless downtown every Tuesday afternoon; Clean the World where we built hygiene kits from recycled soaps and other products to be distributed; and Second Harvest Foodbank packaging food to help fight hunger. It’s amazing volunteering with peers who have similar goals in helping our community. Becoming a top 20 honors member in the club allowed me to attend a workshop where I learned to suture a chicken breast and even attempted it with a grape. It felt surreal as I was one step closer to my dream job as a PA.
Starting at an ob-gyn clinic as a medical assistant without experience was challenging. However, after quickly learning the order sets for labs and specimens, the instruments used for procedures, and common medications prescribed, I was able to take more time with the patients to get a detailed diagnostic report. The continuity of care with patients makes coming into work exciting. Assisting the doctor in a hysteroscopy to evaluate Jen’s prior miscarriage led to administering a Makena injection every Wednesday after a positive pregnancy test. Tracking her weight meant more time with Jen as I sat to draw her blood speaking about her baby shower plans. Being part of the process towards the creation of life has been a tremendous opportunity and even more beautiful after meeting Jen’s 8 oz baby boy during a 2 week postpartum visit. I’ve learned that PA’s have the ability to spend more time with patients. Happy to continue this kind of care, it is something that appeals to me the most about the PA profession.
After four years of volunteering at Nemours Children’s Hospital, I received a job as a patient care technician in the surgery department where I had the opportunity to shadow PAs in action. I saw PAs placing dialysis catheters, PICC lines, wound suturing, and casting autonomously. I admired how painstaking they were with each patient during assessment days and their collaboration with the doctor. My favorite part was witnessing a PA from IR treat a Kaposi’s sarcoma patient. They both knew he had little to live, yet the PA spoke to him with compassion changing his depressive mood to an optimistic one and ultimately agreeing to take his medication in order to prolong his life. The PA’s proficiency in her department, care for patients, and eager to mentor me throughout her busy day inspires me to attain all of these qualities as a PA in the future. Learning about her prior experience in neurology and working with a wide range of PAs in orthopedics, general surgery, ENT, and IR excites me about the endless opportunities I’ll have as a PA.
My experiences this past year have morphed me into the confident person I am today in my chosen career path. I came to an epiphany, noting that Matteo’s dad was clearing me of my guilt from the words I had promised them. This helped me understand why and further assured that this is my purpose. I want to continue being that face in people’s memories knowing I did my best in caring for the patients. I am certain that my eagerness to learn and adaptability in various healthcare jobs will allow me to succeed in PA school and ultimately become a proficient and compassionate PA.
Cin says
I have been working on my draft this past week and believe I have created a better flow. Thank you for your time again.
From hope to despair; from understanding to grief–their eyes said it all. I couldn’t help but feel as if I were personally responsible for the demise of their only son, Matteo. His parents found comfort in me, not only as a translator sent in by a nurse at Nemours Children’s Hospital, but as an empathetic individual who assured them that the doctors did their jobs well and their son would once again smile in their arms. But we were all wrong, and after five seemingly never-ending hours of waiting for his intoxicatingly innocent blue eyes to open to the world, we learned he had suffered from an intracerebral hemorrhage. Matteo’s story has become an invaluable lesson in life for me and my cultivating passion to become a PA; I want to be one of the many that helps save people and bring families together again.
From fear to trust; from anger to peace–their smiles said it all. The residents did not need two CNAs to help them as the nurse assigned, they needed patience. I will never forget getting kicked in the face by Lucy my first day on the job while the other two CNAs were teaching me how to put her to bed. By letting her pick out pajamas for the night, praising her for her cute color choice, and reassuring her of my presence to help, she grew to confide in me to lay her in bed on my own. Having aphasia meant grasping my hand tightly to express her gratitude every night until I watched her take her last breath. Lucy, and all the other residents I cared for taught me that life goes by in the blink of an eye. Aware that life is short, I want to pursue my passion to help someone feel less lonely, as their time comes to an end.
From loss to possibility; from trial to success–nine months said it all. Assisting the doctor in a hysteroscopy to evaluate Jen’s prior miscarriage led to administering a Makena injection every Wednesday after a positive pregnancy test. Tracking her weight meant more time with Jen as I sat to draw her blood speaking about her baby shower plans. Being part of the process towards the creation of life has been a tremendous opportunity. It was even more beautiful after meeting Jen’s 8 oz baby boy during a two week postpartum visit. The continuity of care with patients like Jen, has made coming in to work more exciting. I have learned that PAs have the ability to spend more time with patients. Happy to continue this kind of care, it is something that appeals to me the most about the PA profession.
From listening and observing–that will be me, I said. Working at Nemours as a patient care technician, gave me the opportunity to shadow PAs in action. I saw PAs placing dialysis catheters, PICC lines, wound suturing, and casting autonomously. I admired how painstaking they were with each patient during assessment days and their collaboration with the doctor. My favorite part was witnessing a PA from IR treat a Kaposi’s sarcoma patient. They both knew he had little time to live, yet the PA spoke to him with compassion, changing his depressive mood to an optimistic one and ultimately agreeing to take his medication in order to prolong his life. The PA’s proficiency in her specialty, care for patients, and eager to mentor me throughout her busy day exemplify the PA I want to be in the future. Learning about her prior experience in neurology and working with a wide range of PAs in orthopedics, general surgery, ENT, and IR excites me about the endless opportunities I’ll have as a PA.
My desire to help others was a fire that began long ago, almost as an innate trait. But I felt lost choosing among the countless specialties in medicine. The guidance I unknowingly sought came from a PA admissions representative late in undergrad when I first heard about the profession. She was so passionate about being a PA it became contagious. Taking her advice to take a gap year has been the best decision I have made. My experiences with Matteo, Lucy, Jen and observing PAs taught me that I could do everything I wanted in medicine as a PA: helping save others, having more time with patients, working independently while collaborating with my attending physician, participating in surgery and having the ability to change specialties. I know becoming a PA is the golden path I am destined for.
In pursuit to provide the best care possible, I am certain that my eagerness to learn and adaptability in various healthcare jobs will allow me to succeed in PA school and ultimately become a proficient and compassionate PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Cin,
I can only provide comments here once, but if you need further help, we are taking essay submissions for our revision service. We’d love to help you further there if you think you need it. (not saying you do.:))
Good luck to you!!
Caylee says
Hi!! I would love any feedback on my essay. I am slightly over the character limit so I will need to cut some things down, suggestions on where to do that are also appreciated.
While working as a medical assistant one day, I took back a patient named Fred and his service dog Lucy. Fred’s chief complaint was a painful rash around his eyes but as I took down his medical history I realized he had a lot more going on. I went back and got Brooke, one of the PAs in the office. Brooke sat down and after going through some brief questions, concluded he had allergic contact dermatitis from an eye cream he had used. She explained to him how to treat the condition, while I got him samples of medication. Although Fred seemed relieved he got a diagnosis, there was still a blanket of sorrow over him. Brooke noticed and asked him about how he was doing, to which he explained he was still experiencing a great deal of heartbreak over his wife’s death. He noted that his service dog was his only salvation. For the next 30 minutes, Brooke simply talked to him about his wife and listened while he reminisced over their memories. While the diagnosis only took a few minutes, Brooke took the time to provide a different type of care, compassion. Fred left that day with a small smile on his face and later emailed Brooke expressing his gratitude. Seeing the impact that Brooke made on Fred that day, just by listening to him, continued to inspire me to pursue the PA profession. It also reminded me that being a medical provider is not only diagnosing the condition and coming up with a treatment regimen. A good provider listens to the patient’s needs and concerns. That day, more than anything, Fred needed someone to talk to.
From the time that I was young, I knew I wanted to be part of a medical team, but I didn’t know which role I wanted to take on. After shadowing multiple providers, the physician assistant profession stood out to me because of the flexibility to switch between specialties. I loved sitting in on surgeries but I could also see myself working in pediatrics. As a PA I would be able to do both while still having the autonomy to diagnose and treat my own patients. During my undergraduate, I was able to volunteer at a local hospital which exposed me to a diverse population of patients. I spent most of my time in the maternal-fetal care unit where I watched as high-risk mothers came to have their monthly check-ups. There were a number of teen mothers who were scared and stressed during their appointments. The providers took time to calmly explain everything to the patients before running any tests. Although my main role was scheduling patients, I wished I could provide more comfort to the patients as the nurses and PAs did. During my third year of undergraduate, I was able to provide that comfort when I accepted a job as a physical therapy aide. I gained direct patient care experience working with patients on their exercises and providing treatment such as ultrasound. I got to know the patients that were coming to the clinic well, as many of them had chronic issues. One patient, Betty, reminded me of the power of compassion. Betty had ongoing back and neck pain which restricted her to a walker. During her appointments, I helped her move throughout the room and made sure she was stable during her exercises. On my last day of work, Betty called the clinic and personally thanked me for taking the extra time to attend to her and for the kindness I showed her. It felt good to know that I had made an impact on a patient and I carried that experience with me as I entered a new job.
After graduating, I moved back home and accepted a position as a medical assistant at a Dermatology clinic where I was assigned to Brooke, one of the PAs. By working alongside Brooke, I have gained a solid understanding of her role as a PA. Brooke has the autonomy to diagnose, treat patients, and prescribe medication just as the doctors in the office do. I assist her in surgeries and educate patients on the medication she prescribes. I have also been able to practice skills such as injections and suturing while learning how to diagnose skin cancers. While Brooke works mostly independently, I have also had the opportunity to shadow several PAs where I have seen what their role is as a team member in the hospital. I shadowed one PA in the cardiothoracic surgery department and watched as she communicated with surgeons, nurses, and PAs about the treatment of their mutual patients. She spoke with the patient before the surgery answering any questions they had and reporting back to the surgeon so each treatment was a seamless operation. Shadowing PAs and working with Brooke has opened my eyes to the vast opportunities I will have once I complete PA school.
My experiences shadowing various healthcare providers, working as a medical assistant, and volunteering have all pathed my path towards PA school. Patients like Betty and Fred have shown me that being a provider is as much about listening to the patient’s concerns, as it is finding a diagnosis for the patient. I want to be able to build strong relationships with my patients and continue to challenge myself by working in a variety of specialties. PA school is the next step in my journey and from my experiences, I feel prepared for all of the exciting challenges it has to offer.
Whitney Prosperi says
Caylee,
There are many strong elements in your essay. Your introduction is effective in showing your first interest in the PA profession. You also do a good job of recounting your healthcare journey. Also, you reveal your understanding of the PA profession. I would mention your desire to collaborate with a healthcare team since this is such an integral part of the PA role.
Take some time to go through word-by-word, carefully condensing.
If we can help you further, remember that we’re taking submissions for our essay revision service.
You are off to a great start! Good luck.
Genny says
Hello! This is my rough draft. It’s a bit long, and feels slightly boring. I am not a huge fan of writing so any help would be greatly appreciated! (I also plan to do your paid service once I’m a couple drafts in).
There was so much blood. I started to feel nauseous. “What have I gotten myself into?” I thought. I was standing at the head of the sedated man, peering through a hole in his maxilla the surgeon had drilled to reveal the sinus membrane. The next day, the nausea in my stomach had turned into butterflies of excitement. Within weeks I was assisting the oral surgeon, handing him forceps, irrigating his drill, and suctioning water before it slipped down a sleeping patient’s throat. I look back five years at the sophomore college student. At no point did she plan to be pulling out rotten, decaying teeth.
That sophomore had just begun a repeating “Hi, welcome to Endless Summer Bar-Café” almost daily. Somehow, this simple sentence was the start of a journey towards PA school. While my thirst for science was being quenched by my rigorous science courses, my affinity for working with people was blossoming in the restaurant industry. As I climbed the ranks from hostess to bartender, I thrived in the close-knit collaborative team that the fast-paced restaurant demanded. Graduation rapidly approached and I faced the dreaded question all college seniors confront: “What is next?”
I had no idea. There were too many options. I had considered a career in music performance, beginning a double major of biopsychology BS and a bachelor of music. But my science grades were slipping due to the work overload, so I made the decision that music was a hobby while science was a career. I had worked in neuroscience research and autism research, but was not convinced that research was my path. Eventually, my love for the collaborative environment of the restaurant lead me towards the medical field. I saw parallels between the two that are not often drawn: reliance on teamwork, fast-paced environment, and constant interaction with the public. A career in medicine began looking like the perfect blend of my people-oriented personality and my science-oriented mind.
I threw myself into the medical field from multiple angles, wanting to experience it all and find what would pull me in. I began working as a scribe in an orthopedic clinic, a research assistant at a diabetes clinic, and a volunteer in the emergency room. I thrived in the busy orthopedic clinic, where I was an invaluable part of maintaining the flow of patients. I enjoyed sitting with patients at the diabetes clinic, talking for hours as they participated in multi-day studies. I was in awe at the emergency room, where everyone worked independently, yet relied on each other to provide exceptional treatment to those most in need.
While working at the orthopedic clinic, a physician assistant joined the practice. This was my first-time meeting a PA, and I eagerly showed Adam around the office. I admired the collaboration I saw between surgeon and PA. They had their own patients and they shared patients. Adam worked independently, making his own assessments and treatment plans, yet constantly had the support of the surgeon. I knew this was the type of career I wanted: autonomy with collaboration. Adam sat with his patients, able to talk with them far longer than the surgeon. He gained the trust of the patients by providing attentive care, and this trust transferred into trust of the surgeon.
The more I researched the PA field, the more I knew it was the profession for me. I began to take pre-requisite courses, excelling in them now that the purpose of these courses was clear. I also wanted more interaction with patients, so I began working as an oral surgical assistant.
I am proud of the work I do as a surgical assistant. As the first person to bring a patient in for consultations, I get to talk with them, listening to their concerns and educating them on possible treatments. I connect with my patients long before the surgeon sees them, putting them at ease when the last place they want to be is a dentist office. I get to follow these patients through their entire treatment. I talk with them pre-operatively, preparing them for the procedure, letting them know I will be there the whole time. I assist the surgeon, predicting his every need while ensuring the comfort of the patient. I then sit with them post-operatively, clarifying every detail whether it is about the procedure, post-operative instructions, or the next steps. I see them post-operatively, gently removing sutures and taking x-rays. I cherish the ability to spend time with each patient, getting to know them. But I also revel in the excitement of surgery, enjoying the meticulous care that goes into each procedure.
Eager to see more of a physician assistant’s work and the broader surgical world I shadowed two surgical PAs. The first was a general surgical PA who was simultaneously teaching a Stanford PA student on her clinical round. I observed her perform biopsies and other outpatient procedures. She was patient and caring, dedicated to teaching the aspiring PA student. Whether I was showing someone how to carry four plates of food gracefully to a table or walking someone step by step through an implant placement procedure, I have always loved teaching new employees and am frequently in charge of training. I am excited to know that as a PA, I will have the opportunity to teach the next generation of PAs.
Shadowing a neurosurgical PA was the final confirmation I needed to know that PA school was the right place for me. With a degree in biopsychology, watching a neurosurgery up close was a dream. But what really solidified my excitement in the PA profession was when she relieved a coworker for his lunch break. I watched as this neurosurgical PA went straight from a craniotomy into a laparoscopic sigmoidectomy. She smoothly took his place in this 8-hour surgery and unflinchingly assisted for a general surgery for an hour. I was incredulous. I knew PAs were able to switch specialties, but in one shift she adapted to this other field immediately? She explained that at her hospital, because PAs are trained in all specialties, they are able to assist all surgeries. The overarching training that PAs undergo is important to me. I want to be able to continue learning no matter how far along in my career I am. I know that as a PA, with every field at my fingertips, the depth of knowledge is limitless. I have loved and thrived in every field I’ve worked in: from restaurants, to research, to surgery. PA school gives me the opportunity to flourish in all medical fields.
The holistic medical education that PAs undergo, the ability to work independently but as a team, and the time that PAs are able to spend nurturing their patients are all reasons that I know PA school is right for me.
Kyle Keneddy says
Hi! Thank you for doing this! This is my rough draft, but I am kind of stuck. I’m unsure if this is an effective way to go about things, so generalized feedback would be so amazing. Thanks again! (I know its a little too long)
As the music played in an empty clinic we danced. Ragtime Nana – a name she requested due to her affinity for ragtime music – was a regular patient of the physical therapy clinic I worked at. I got to know her well, I’d play her favorite ragtime music as she waited for her appointments. We would normally listen together, until one day she asked me if I knew how to dance to ragtime. The joy I felt as she enthusiastically showed me how to move my feet and dance to the rhythm of ragtime brought me such joy; being a direct impactor in her day and in her care changed my path in medicine.
I started my journey to medicine with the belief that I would be on the management side, improving the quality and affordability to care. It was the easiest decision of my adult life because every day brings diverse new challenges and I have always been drawn to being an impactful member of a team. As I began working in administrative roles, I felt dissatisfied with how routine my day was and how my role did not allow me to heavily interact with patients. When I reflected on this realization one thing came into my mind: Ragtime Nana. I remember my powerful interaction with her and how my direct care made her smile, and it made me realize that if I want to fulfil my passions I need to be directly taking care of people. To do this, I did something that scared me. I changed my career and began an entry level job as a dietary aide at a hospital. I completely fell in love with having a role on the direct care team, no matter how small it was. The diversity, the team work, and the ability to directly affect the course of another person led me to fall in love. Driven by this passion and hoping to start learning more about medicine and the art of taking care of people, I became an intensive care CNA. This was my first opportunity to deeply learn about what a PA is and what they do.The PAs I worked with loved their job. They would tell me about how closely they were able to interact with patients, and how their role as a leader on their care team allowed them to do the absolute most amount of good for each and every one of them. The PAs I observed were able to do two main things. They get to spend more time with the patients that a doctor does, and they are a more impactful leader and decision maker than a nurse. It is through these observations and conversations that I knew the role of the PA is what fits me the best. In realizing this I knew that I needed to work closer with PAs to fully commit to the demands of becoming a PA. I wanted to be unequivocally sure this role was my lifelong passion. To accomplish this, I became an ERT at Regions Hospital.
Here I am honored to work with the best team; and it is here that my strong desire to become a PA turned into a solidified passion that I will not stop working toward. I work closely with providers and have been able to closely observe how PAs function in the healthcare team.
My determination became solidified when I worked with a PA to treat a dying woman. She was having a normal day until her aorta ruptured. When the PA in charge of her care informed her that she was not a candidate for surgery, she was able to take the extra time to make sure that not only the patient’s medical needs were met, but that her emotional and spiritual needs were as well. She talked so calmly and empathetically, easing the distress of this woman in her time of greatest need. As the PA left, I continued to sit with her, talking as I held her hand. It wasn’t until I called her pastor and he visited with her that she fully came to peace with her unfortunate fate. This extra 20 minutes monumentally changed her remaining hours, and it exemplifies why I want to be a PA over any other profession.
Being a PA is the best fit for my personality. In my winding path to this realization, I have worked with physical therapists, chiropractors, nurses, physicians, and PAs. All of these professionals play a tremendous role in impacting the health of others, but none quite as uniquely as a PA. The PA is a leader yet the definition of a team member. As a football coach I demonstrated the ability to be the decision maker while functioning under a head coach and learning from him. Furthermore, I want to be in a position to create change for not only the individual, but a population as well. I want to help the health system by focusing on the underserved and socioeconomically disadvantaged, as I believe that this is the population that could improve the most with better resources. PAs inherently both increase access and reduce cost, and my education in health systems has taught me how to be a team leader who can change things on the population level, and being a PA gives me the flexibility to still accomplish this.
I have worked with so many patients and every one gives me more energy and fuel to pursue a career in medicine. Being able to work closely with them and function on a team to do this is why I want to be a PA, specifically. Years ago in business school we were asked to make a mission statement. My mission was to be an “instrument of powerful change for my community, family, and healthcare system”. Being a PA would let me deliver on this mission, and this mission will allow me to be a better PA. I would thrive as a medical decision maker, and I have worked so hard to prepare myself for the rigor of this as a future. I am so glad I got the opportunity to meet Nana. She changed my life. Every experience and decision I have made in the past two years has been to accomplish this goal, and I will not stop until it is my reality. I will learn how to be a PA, then I will spend every day learning how to become an even better one. I am a leader, a difference maker in the path of others. Medicine allows me to be so much more.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kyle,
Your opening story about Ragtime Nana is memorable and effective. I think you do a good job of showing your healthcare journey and how you learned you want more patient interaction. You also do a good job of showing your understanding of the PA profession. If you can expand on your shadowing experiences I would mention what you’ve admired in the PA’s interactions with patients and also with physicians.
I thought the story about the PA comforting the patient and then you also having the opportunity to do the same was powerful. It is clear that you want to impact patients directly.
I would go through your essay word-by-word, condensing where you can. This will sharpen your focus. I think you’re off to a great start! Good luck.
Emely D'Oleo says
I watched my mother struggle to obtain quality healthcare due to a language barrier from a young age. I would always accompany her to appointments and translate during the visit, but I always wished that I could do more for her. That experience showed me the great need for bilingual providers and geared me towards a career in healthcare.After reflecting on this situation years later, I realized that I am able and willing to change that sad reality. I am able to use my passion for medicine and the Physician Assistant (PA) profession to change the lives of patients that need someone to bridge the cultural and language barrier between the provider and the patient.
Inspired to give back to my community I became a spanish medical interpreter, I wanted to expand my translating ,in order to assist others in gaining proper medical care, As an interpreter I was exposed to many different specialties from OB-GYN to oncology and I was able to help the patient make sense of their doctors visit, and make a much-needed difference in my community. Interpreting opened my eyes to the many health disparities in our society and I began to have a passion for working with underserved populations.
My first encounter with a PA was working as a receptionist at a local urgent care. The PA stood out to me because of her broad range of medical knowledge and her dedication to treat patients.I observed how the PA interacted with the Doctor along with other members of the medical team in order to provide the best patient care possible. I learned through this experience that PA’s are able to diagnose, prescribe and treat patients while having the ability to pursue different specialities. Similarly, I had the opportunity to shadow a surgical PA that specialized in mohs surgery. I observed how he was able to cauterize and suture wounds. When he allowed me to assist him in cutting and removing sutures, my heart was content because this small activity was another confirmation of my desire to work in this profession.
After working with a PA in the past, I was inspired to gain my own experience providing patient care in various settings while working as a part of the medical team.As an ophthalmic technician, one patient encounter that solidified my desire to pursue a PA career was working with a Spanish-speaking patient who was diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy. He was panicked upon arrival to the office as he was experiencing serious symptoms. During my assessment, I noticed he did not speak English and I knew then that I needed to provide compassionate care while ensuring that he understood what was going on. His face went from confused to joyous when I spoke spanish and he graciously thanked me on his way out. This experience taught me the importance of building good support with patients by making them feel comfortable and understood.
“Don’t forget your why” is a quote I heard years ago. This quote inspires me everyday to work hard, be focused, and implement all the necessary changes in my life to reach my goal of becoming a PA. My desire is to advocate for each and everyone of my patients, especially those in underserved communities such as my own. My “why” will continue to guide me not only through my toughest days in PA school but also through my most challenging days as a PA. To me, this master’s degree goes beyond just earning a title, it would be a jumpstart to changing the lives of the people around me through healthcare. I would want nothing more than to be a part of a program that strives to impact patients of all walks of life.
Miranda says
Hello! I would appreciate any feedback you could give on my personal statement. Thank you!
A little girl in a slum of Nairobi gathered her siblings and their few belongings on her back and ran away from home unsure of when they would eat their next meal or where they would lie their heads at night. All that this little girl knew for certain was that her baby sister, unnamed at the time, needed help. The baby’s eyes were swollen shut and full of infection caused by the horrifying actions of her mother.
I listened intently as Mrs. Melody, executive director of Go Near Ministry, taught the group about Kenyan history and lifestyles. It was common for men to abandon their families and leave the women in charge of raising multiple children along. The struggles continues as mothers try to support the family on less than a dollar a day. This mother in particular could not handle the stress and financial burden of raising another child, so she resorted to severely neglecting the baby. Overtime, the little girl received treatment and was able to gain her sigh back. The child had been made pure again. The child were to be names Purity.
I spent the summer of 2014 and 2015 on mission trips to Nairobi, Kenya and Loitoktok, Kenya. For me, Purity and her siblings put names and faces to the devastating reality of Third World countries. These stories made the dreadful statistics come to life.
It became very clear to me that I am being called to serve others. Over the years, I have searched and prayed for an answer on how to fulfill this call. It was only when I discovered the physician assistant (PA) profession that I really had an answer. The PA profession was created to make health care more available in rural and underserved areas. As a PA, I would be restless in helping those like Purity. I want to serve those that need medical attention, but do not have means to obtain it whether in a Third World country, the inner city, or the outskirts of a small town. It is a necessity that medical care becomes more available in order to improve public health across the country and the world. I desire to be in the forefront of combating these problems as a physician assistant.
I met Aiden while working as an elementary school health aide. Typically, he came to the nurse’s office after lunch to receive his daily medications, however this was not a typical day. On this particular morning, I was introduced to the real Aiden. A young boy who bounces between living with parents who struggle with substance abuse to older grandparents who live with health conditions. A young boy who yearned for consistent love and affection. As I wiped away the alligator tears that rolled down his cheeks, he mumbled under his breath that his mom and grandma had gotten into a fight and they had been kicked out of the house. He asked,
“Why do I have to leave?”
“Will I ever get to see my grandma and grandpa again?”
“Where will we stay tonight?”
An unfamiliar pain crept up the back of my throat as I realized that I could not provide this young boy with answers. I had felt that I had failed him, but I took him into my arms and through blurred eyes assured him that he was safe here at school, that every adult in the building was here to care for and protect him. Although I was thankful for the words he shared with me, no child should go through what he is enduring.
A few days later, I was struggling getting Aiden to leave my office after receiving his medication. Right before leaving he wrapped his arms around my waist into a tight hug and asked, “Miss Miranda do you know what my favorite part of the day is?”
I jokingly replied,” Recess?” I that after receiving his medication he would be sent outside for recess and what elementary kid doesn’t love recess?
As a huge grin overtook his face and his arms wrapped around me tighter, he answered, “Nope! It’s whenever I get to see you!”
In that moment, I learned how much I loved coming into school every day, excited to interact with students and teachers. I finally felt that I had made a positive impact, no matter how small, in someone’s healthcare experience.
I have spent many hours working in an elementary school and volunteering overseas The clean, modern nurse’s office in Iowa and the dirty, underdeveloped orphanage in Kenya have one thing in common. They are both places that I hold near and dear to my heart. In those places, I learned about myself. I learned that I am not content standing back and watching while patients are hurting. As a PA, I want to heal the hurting and serve the overlooked. My mission will be to change lives and help patients face sickness and injury without fear like Purity – to watch them persevere as Aiden does.
Miranda says
I have fixed some minor spelling and punctuation errors myself, but would still appreciate your time and opinion.
Whitney Prosperi says
Miranda,
Wow! What an incredible story you shared in your introduction.
Your essay shows your motivation for becoming a PA – to help others.
You will want to show a little bit more about what you’ve observed about the profession. Have you worked with or shadowed any PAs? If so, describe what you admire about their interactions with patients and their healthcare team? What appeals to you about becoming a PA? Why are you suited for it? What skills will make you a successful PA?
You’ll want to go through your essay carefully, word by word. Cut unnecessary words and tighten up your sentences where you can to make them pop.
Remember that if we can help you further, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck to you in the process!