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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (19th April 2024): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers having worked over seven years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Caroline Lucchini says
Hi, I greatly appreciate your time and opinions about my essay! What area in the essay do I need to improve on?
My father became sick during my last year of high school. When he first discovered his conditions, he was slowly preparing my life if the worst happened to him. My father has been diagnosed with lipoma cancer, nash syndrome, arterial HTN, irregular heartbeat, anxiety/depression, and had a minor stroke. Today with science and research, I have educated myself about each problem, and have learned why unfortunately one condition can’t be treated due to the others. My father’s medical circumstances have become one the reasons why I would like to enhance my knowledge in medicine by becoming physician assistant (PA). It would be a privilege to use that title and platform to research, learn, and discover the “how’s” and “why’s” of the world of medicine. It would allow me to help patients that not only have easy access to medical care but help especially those that don’t. My father has been blessed to have and afford healthcare, but my heart longs to treat those that don’t have the same privilege as my father.
In March of 2019, I attended my first medical missions’ trip to Honduras, where I was blessed to serve the underserved population that live in the city of Roatan. January of 2020, I traveled there again to serve the people of “Oak Ridge”. Seeing new and familiar faces return to the clinic was rewarding. It was extremely humbling to see how happy and grateful the people were, yet they don’t have much. It brings me joy that I was able to serve them medically by examining their eyes, giving out glasses, watching them have cataract surgery, and then seeing a big smile on their faces because they have regained vision. On my most recent trip I was able to participate in an encounter that my team and I were praying for. There’s a female that lives on the island and she’s a prostitute. Last year she was beaten badly by one of her clients and he ended up damaging her eye to the point vision loss. We were in contact with a mutual friend to try to get her to come to our clinic for one of our physicians to check her out. She said she would come on a certain day but didn’t show up with the fear of being judged and mistreated. She told us that she felt ugly because of the way her face currently looked, and that has stopped her from getting new clients and the money she needed to survive. That night my team prayed over her life and asked that God may take control of the situation and that we may just be used to do his works. The next day at the very end of clinic, we got word that she was willing to come and see us. She was able to get examined and found out that she would need a prosthetic eye due to the injury. My team got in touch with a with an ocularist in the U.S. that was willing to create one at no cost and the oculoplastic surgeon with us also volunteered to perform her surgery. So, our next team that travels down to Honduras will be able to take her prosthetic. We prayed for her back at our hotel during our nightly gatherings, for God to touch her heart and pour his abundant love over her so that she may no longer have to sell her body for money nor do drugs. My God is so amazing that as soon as our gathering was over, we got a text from the friend saying that the patient has decided to attempt and enter rehab that night.
As an ophthalmology tech, I truly enjoy the blend of my independent responsibilities and collaborative work with the team. When doing general workup and prep before dilating, it’s my job to see anything amiss that might be occluded after dilation. Anytime I get a situation that I don’t know how to properly deal with, I consult with the doctor and he explains the proper steps to take. The doctor knows I will find an appropriate time later to pepper him with questions about the case and outcomes. He recognizes my passion and aptitudes for remembering and understanding medical and scientific terminology and processes. I see being a PA as full expression of this kind of teamwork.
I want to be an advocate for the voiceless, the caregiver for the forgotten, and the listener to those who are hurting. Too many people living in underserved areas are being passed over for basic medical services. Becoming a PA is my chance to do more than what I am currently limited to do. I’ve been able to shadow different PA’s and get a glimpse of what the future has in store for me. I’ve learned that even though I don’t have the same platform, knowledge, and authority as a PA or physician, I can still treat, aid, and assist my patients.
Whitney Prosperi says
Caroline,
The story about your father is moving and effective.
Throughout your essay, I can see your strong desire to help others.
The paragraph about your mission trip and the woman’s eye is also compelling. In order to not exceed the 5K limit, you’ll need to trim down that story significantly.
I would then add a paragraph about experiences you have had shadowing PAs. What did you see that confirmed this was the path for you over another provider path? What about the profession appealed to you? More ability to connect with patients? Collaboration with a healthcare team? (I know you mention this later in your essay. It’s always a good idea to show your ability to and desire for partnering with a healthcare team.) Describe any meaningful interactions you witnessed between PA/patient or PA/doctor.
Also, if you have a meaningful patient care experience you can describe, do that. Briefly share a story about performing a clinical duty while also personally connecting with a patient.
For your conclusion, I would add a sentence that ties back to your introduction in some way.
I wish you luck on your journey!
Remember, if we can help you further, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Paige says
“Please don’t start this again, Bill!” Jolted awake, I frantically rushed into the room adjacent to mine. It is still unclear what made this fight different from the others. This was not the first time their voices seemed to shake the house. Realizing an intervention was necessary, I broke into my parent’s room. Immersed in an onset of reactionary dialogue, I quickly intervened, attempting to reconcile two contrasting voices as the clock struck 3 A.M. After an onset of emotionally driven exchanges, my role as a mediator finally came to an end a few hours later.
At the time, I believed my reactions were simply of an innate nature—driven by my inherent desire to connect to both people in the room even though I knew their mindsets were vastly different. I’ve always been a connection-seeker: one who hopes to understand more about the world each day through learning about others. Yet, now, I realize that my actions were also driven by a deeper and more nuanced energy. This energy, one which I acquired through my immersive experience in AP Psychology, centered on both a profound understanding of and appreciation for the endlessly perplexing complexities of the human brain. As I write now, I am confident that the duality of emotional connection and scientific intrigue is one that I can constantly build upon.
As a high-school senior and longtime soccer player, I thought at the time that I would have seen the operating room a time or two. I couldn’t even count how many hard-fought games I had played. Fortunately, my first experience in an operating room wasn’t because of an injury I had gotten on the field. Rather, it occurred when I chose to shadow an Orthopedic Surgery at a local hospital in Wilmington. From the moment I stepped through the double doors into the gleaming sterility of the room, a sense of peace washed over me. Every worry I had seemed to melt away. My only focus was the surgery in front of me. It felt as if time stood still during the entire intricate procedure. At this moment, one of newfound appreciation, I knew that healthcare was for me.
During college, I took advantage of any opportunity I could find to further immerse myself in a medical setting. One summer between my sophomore and junior year, I spent one week as a camp counselor with the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Julie, a camper who was newly diagnosed with a Muscular Dystrophy disease, didn’t let her condition stop her from participating in all the activities that her atrophied muscles and uncoordinated gait allowed her to. It became my self-proclaimed mission to encourage her along the way, reminding her that that despite her disabilities, she was a fifteen-year old girl with an unbelievable attitude towards life. One night, while helping transfer her from the shower to her wheelchair, I found myself struggling to keep her upright. Yet, determined to assist her while also making her feel secure, I attempted to turn a seemingly uncomfortable situation into an enjoyable one. We both started singing “Jesus Take the Wheel” at the tops of our lungs, and as we both chuckled, Julie and I found the strength, together, to get her situated in her wheelchair. Standing outside the showers that night, I felt a humbling determination to dedicate my career to helping those who need medical care not just physically, but emotionally as well, through whatever support I could possibly give.
Little did I know then, helping individuals in a medical setting both physically and emotionally was something I would soon experience firsthand while working as a medical assistant at a Dermatology office. At times, I was able to tell patients relieving news that the “scary” spot on their back was benign, cheerfully exchanging conversation with them while they expressed relief. Yet, at other times, I found myself consoling patients who weren’t so fortunate, attempting to calm them through emitting compassionate phrases like “You have the strength to get through this.” In both situations, I always tried to empathize with the patient, hoping to form a powerful connection with them in order to provide best care I can possibly give.
As I transitioned to a new job in the Trauma Surgery department at Atrium Health, I became drawn towards one particular relationship: one that embodied the sense of dedication to providing both physical and emotional care to which I became drawn many years ago. That relationship, the one between a physician assistant (PA) and a physician, is the exact form of medical teamwork in which I strive to partake. From multidisciplinary rounds in the morning, to the PAs I observed “putting out fires” throughout the unit during the night shift, the interconnection between physician, PA, and patient was captivating.
I carry that same sense of captivation today, and I am determined to exhibit a profound sense of self-sacrifice, benevolence, and teamwork through a career as a PA. I would be privileged to be a part of that team that executes the such quality patient care, and I sincerely want to be that extra set of eyes that may be the difference between a patient’s recovery or demise. From my numerous experiences working in clinical settings, to the simple rapport I’ve developed with people like Julie, my experiences have prepared me to embark on this journey for a profession in which I know I can contribute greatly. The scientific rigor of healthcare and the power of personal connection are two notions that I have been drawn towards since that late night in my parent’s bedroom, and ones that I wish to endlessly explore as a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Paige,
You do a great job showing your ability and desire to comfort and care for people.
I also see how your passion to make a difference through healthcare evolved.
You may want to give a few more details about what draws you to the profession. (such as more patient time, the ability to switch specialties)
You are off to a great start and have many elements in your essay that strengthen it.
Good luck!
Jessica says
As a young girl I dreamed of becoming a veterinarian, I wanted to save all the animals who were on the streets and needed care. My pediatrician had other ideas. I was constantly in her office for chronic asthma and allergies and openly shared my plans to save the world through veterinary medicine. She quickly turned me down saying that my health would not allow it, after all I could barely be around the family dog and required allergy shots twice a week. She took the time to explain human medicine and how I could use my passion for helping animals and shift it into becoming a “human vet”. I was cautious to fully commit to this new idea but was willing to give it a chance.
My love for animals never left, I was involved in the Future Farmers of America club at school, but I also was involved in multiple sports including volleyball and soccer. It was when I injured my ankle during a volleyball game and had to go to the ER that I felt my first connection to medicine. I saw how the ER became like a sports team, multiple people working together each having their own role in achieving a common goal, not to win a game, but to help the patients in their care. Every person in the hospital caught my eye and I found myself not focusing on the pain that brought me in but the nurse who brought me back and took my history, the ER doctor who performed the initial exam and cared for me as if I was her own daughter, even the x-ray technicians who were careful in how they approached and precisely moved me to ensure the most comfortable experience. I was hooked.
My education and experience as a student-athlete at Queens University of Charlotte started my path into the medical field, and with help from my pre-health advisor and shadowing my path to becoming a PA was solidified. I was able to study a variety of subjects such as genetics, biochemistry, anatomy, animal behavior, cell biology all while playing the sport I loved, volleyball. I was prompted to think in ways I never had before and learned how to effectively manage my time to be a successful athlete and a scholar student. Instead of giving up when I faced hardships, I was resilient; I had a team that supported me. Realizing how much the support of my team helped me I wanted to be that role for my peers, so I began to tutor, and became a mentor for freshmen through a transition to university program (T2U). I loved working through a problem with my classmates, finding innovative ways to teach catered to the way that individuals learn, whether that was drawing the stages of mitosis on a whiteboard or talking through predatory behaviors using video examples. The T2U program allowed me to play a unique role in the lives of first year students, leading weekly discussions on topics from friendship to spirituality, creating a safe space to explore challenges and triumphs that you might experience in a new setting. My ability to adapt and be multifaceted within changing settings is much like a physician assistant’s ability to apply and transfer knowledge between specialties ensuring that each patient’s needs are met.
Dermatology Care of Charlotte is where I have been able to truly immerse myself into a clinical setting and observe the teamwork behind a patient’s visit. What began as a shadowing opportunity led to a full-time position as a medical assistant for both a physician and PA. Beyond taking patient histories, assisting with surgical excisions, and biopsies I have come to understand the importance of taking time to understand the differences between each patient and how every visit requires some form of adapting, much like tutoring and group sessions with T2U. One patient encounter stands out- what began as a small rash developed into a full body reaction not responding to normal treatments, two biopsies later the results and treatments were still unclear. The patient became frustrated and what some might have dismissed as difficult and non-compliant. After re-evaluation the physician sought help from the physician assistant as well as a consult from the university hospital nearby. The synergy between providers allowed for an innovative treatment plan to be introduced, and through careful rhetoric with the patient they were ready to comply. The patient’s successful turnout was not just the result of the provider’s persistence through the patient’s stubbornness, but that they were cognizant of what was beyond their control and were able to reach out, enlisting a team to help provide the best care with compassion and a reassuring attitude- traits I admire and can also relate.
The little girl who desperately wanted to be a vet might be a little disappointed but if I told her that I was the first one in the family to graduate college, am honoring my strengths in leadership and nurturing my passion to be a dynamic player on a medical team pursuing a career as a physician assistant, I think she would be pretty happy with how things have turned out.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jessica,
I think you do a good job of showing your love for medicine and how it developed.
I would give some more details about what you find appealing about the PA profession. Is it the potential for more time with patients? A balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician? Explain a little bit more about what makes you a good fit for this role.
I think you’re off to a great start.
Good luck!
Emely D'Oleo says
Thank you in advance for your feedback.
I watched my mother struggle to obtain quality healthcare due to a language barrier from a young age. I would always accompany her to appointments and translate during the visit, but I always wished that I could do more for her. That experience showed me the great need for bilingual providers and geared me towards a career in healthcare.After reflecting on this situation years later, I realized that I am able and willing to change that sad reality. I am able to use my passion for medicine and the Physician Assistant (PA) profession to change the lives of patients that need someone to bridge the cultural and language barrier between the provider and the patient.
Inspired to give back to my community I became a spanish medical interpreter, I wanted to expand my translating ,in order to assist others in gaining proper medical care, As an interpreter I was exposed to many different specialties from OB-GYN to oncology and I was able to help the patient make sense of their doctors visit, and make a much-needed difference in my community. Interpreting opened my eyes to the many health disparities in our society and I began to have a passion for working with underserved populations.
My first encounter with a PA was working as a receptionist at a local urgent care. The PA stood out to me because of her broad range of medical knowledge and her dedication to treat patients.I observed how the PA interacted with the Doctor along with other members of the medical team in order to provide the best patient care possible. I learned through this experience that PA’s are able to diagnose, prescribe and treat patients while having the ability to pursue different specialities. Similarly, I had the opportunity to shadow a surgical PA that specialized in mohs surgery. I observed how he was able to cauterize and suture wounds. When he allowed me to assist him in cutting and removing sutures, my heart was content because this small activity was another confirmation of my desire to work in this profession.
After working with a PA in the past, I was inspired to gain my own experience providing patient care in various settings while working as a part of the medical team.As an ophthalmic technician, one patient encounter that solidified my desire to pursue a PA career was working with a Spanish-speaking patient who was diagnosed with diabetic retinopathy and was on the verge of losing his vision. He was panicked upon arrival to the office as he was experiencing serious symptoms. During my assessment, I noticed he did not speak English and I knew then that I needed to provide compassionate care while ensuring that he understood what was going on. His face went from confused to joyous when I spoke spanish and he graciously thanked me on his way out. This experience taught me the importance of building good support with patients by making them feel comfortable and understood.
“Don’t forget your why” is a quote I heard years ago. This quote inspires me everyday to work hard, be focused, and implement all the necessary changes in my life to reach my goal of becoming a PA. My desire is to advocate for each and everyone of my patients, especially those in underserved communities such as my own. My “why” will continue to guide me not only through my toughest days in PA school but also through my most challenging days as a PA. To me, this master’s degree goes beyond just earning a title, it would be a jumpstart to changing the lives of the people around me through healthcare. I would want nothing more than to be a part of a program that strives to impact patients of all walks of life.
Whitney Prosperi says
Emily,
For your introduction, how about describing a brief story about when your mom struggled to communicate with a provider? This will show what happened instead of telling it, while also making for a more dramatic and interesting beginning.
I would also elaborate on why you are drawn to the PA profession specifically. What about it really speaks to you? More opportunities to connect with patients? Collaboration with a healthcare team? The balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician?
Also, if you have any volunteer experience, I would find a way to work that into your essay.
For your conclusion, add a sentence or two that ties back to the story about your mother.
Good luck.
Taylor Smith says
In fifth grade, I was out at recess playing football with my class, I ran into the end zone and caught the game-winning touchdown! I was so proud that I scored as the only girl playing. After the game, I realized my finger looked abnormal, so my mom took me to urgent care. I was scared, I had never enjoyed going to the doctor and the PA easily picked up on my discomfort. She asked how I hurt my finger and congratulated me with a high-five when I told her the story of my winning touchdown. She explained that my finger was broken, but encouraged me not to worry because I was going to get a cool new cast of any color I wanted! This sparked my interest in the PA profession because she was the first provider I had ever encountered that took the extra time to comfort me instead of just giving a diagnosis. I want the opportunity to ease my patients’ fear by connecting with them as this provider did for me.
During college, I worked as a medical assistant, which taught me how to be efficient and remain calm in stressful, fast-paced situations. A young boy came into our dermatology office one day because his mom had discovered a concerning mole and he had a family history of melanoma. He was nervous, his mom was doing her best to console him but to no avail. After setting up the biopsy, I asked him about basketball because I noticed he had a Miami Heat backpack and shoes on. I had piqued his interest. His face lit up and we continued to talk about his team and favorite player. Before he knew it, the biopsy was over and he was ready to go home. This time I was able to be the one providing comfort and giving the high-five.
I am currently working for one of the largest urology offices in North Carolina where we see 300 patients a day with a dozen doctors and three PAs. We treat a diverse population, including the under-resourced communities, providing free annual prostate cancer screenings and low-cost treatment plans. One of the most impactful memories I have was one woman who came to me with tears in her eyes. I was startled, thinking something was wrong. She wanted to thank me for always being a smiling, friendly face whenever she and her husband come for his cancer treatment. She said that she is grateful to be in the care of such a compassionate team and that my consistent positivity enhances their appreciation. Receiving feedback such as this has encouraged my drive to be in a more profound role of patient care by becoming a PA to continue providing exceptional care and compassion that is able to alleviate some fear and stress surrounding medicine.
Observing the physician and PA team together has expanded my desire for the profession. I am amazed at the fluidity of the partnerships and how a PA can work both independently and as a team with the doctor. The most impactful part of medicine is the quality of care provided to the patient, which I’ve been able to witness first hand by this team. Observing the PA treat patients with confidence while maintaining their humble demeanor with respect to their patients and collaborating physicians has encouraged me to pursue this life-changing profession.
I’ve come a long way from the determined little girl with a broken finger. I’ve experienced a lot that has encouraged me to grow both as a person and in my desire to pursue medicine. Something that has profoundly impacted my life is cancer. My first encounter with it was when I was 10 years old, as I experienced a friend pass away at 8 years old. Since then, it has taken a number of my relatives, including four family members during my second year of college. Days prior to my aunt’s passing, her cancer had progressed quickly and she had lost most of her speech ability. She was attempting to make jokes about needing to get her hair and nails done. The PA who was rounding in the ICU that night was laughing along with us, assuring her she looked beautiful, and continued to make her laugh until she was tired. That night I admired the PA for her ability to make light of a dark situation and to treat my aunt as if she wasn’t just another patient, but a friend. She helped create memories for us that make thinking of that day a little easier. While these events were tremendously challenging, they made me a more well-rounded person and encouraged my passion for medicine. Being on the other side of the hospital bed and seeing things from the point of view of a patient, family, and friend has provided deep roots for my motivation to be a compassionate PA.
Each position I’ve held has taught me important lessons including working collaboratively, taking detailed notes, showing compassion for patients, and communicating effectively to both patients and providers. I strive to one day be a PA who has the privilege of treating someone else’s loved ones with exemplary care. While I’ll gladly forego being the one with broken bones, I will pursue my dream of being a PA and continue to take the time to care, console, and of course, give high-fives.
Whitney Prosperi says
Taylor,
You do a good job in your introduction. Also, the story about the boy receiving a biopsy shows your ability to connect with a patient and remain calm during a stressful situation.
I would add more information about why the PA profession is right for you. If you have any shadowing experiences, detail those. What aspects of the PA profession really appeal to you? Is it the potential for more time/contact with patients? The balance between autonomous responsibility for patients and working with a physician and other members of a team? Show a little more your understanding of the role and why you are suited for it.
You are off to a strong start. Good luck.
Trey says
THIS IS MY SECOND CASPA personal statement, I don’t know which to use. The first one I posted or this one here…. HELP
It was during the spring of 2013 during my senior year of high school when my worst nightmare almost came true. At the young age of 18 not even a high school graduate I almost lost the backbone to our family, my mother. My mother became violently ill over a quick period of time. It started off with her saying she did not feel right but was unable to describe the symptoms. This is something normal for my mother because when the weather changes here in Ohio her fibromyalgia will flare up, so we truly did not think anything of it. Over the next several weeks her symptoms became worse. She started to have vision changes, became disoriented, and could not remember how to do simple everyday tasks that she has done daily for the last 40 years. My mother was unable to find her way from our home to the grocery store in our small town less then a mile away as she would get completely lost and disoriented. She would have periods where she would forget my name, even her own name. She is having dulled sensations and many syncopal episodes daily. My mother then went to our family care provider who ran routine blood work, toxicology panels, and many different types of scans.
After several days my mothers blood work, and scans came back and to all of our amazement including her primary care physician everything was negative, but her symptoms still have not began to resolve and in fact were becoming worse every day. I was terrified that I was going to lose my only parent my mother and there was nothing I could do besides sit there and watch it happen. If felt as if she was slipping away right in front of my eyes and there wasn’t a thing I could do besides watch and let it happen. I had a revelation of a conversation earlier in my life with my mother when she told me “son don’t be part of the problem, but be part of the solution”. It was at that time at the young age of 18 that I realized I had a choice to make, would I sit there and watch the backbone to our family my mother drift away before my eyes, or would I help figure out what was wrong and be part of the solution. I made my choice that spring morning to be the solution for my mother and get to the bottom of this.
I started contacting specialists on my mother’s behalf and came in contact with a physician at the Cleveland clinic who believed this could be secondary to a liver condition. I made an appointment for my mother and we met with this physician later on that week. I was absolutely ecstatic when I took her to meet this physician as sitting in the waiting room I had a gut feeling that this was the person that would get to the root of her problem and get me my mother back to her normal self. I was amazed when we went back that we were meeting with a physician assistant as I did not know there was such a job in the medical field. The physician assistant assessed her from head to toe, drew many labs that I could barely pronounce the names of and did a scan of her liver. Later that week we received a phone call from the physician assistant who told us he had great news(we thought he was kidding with how quick everything happened). He told us he found the problem and has a diagnosis though rare it was my mothers’ issue and he has a solution. He diagnosed my mother with acute liver failure secondary to a cleaning chemical we used earlier in the year, but before we hung up he told us he always has some great news as if that wasn’t the best news I have heard. He explained to use she will need to take a medication called lactulose, but he feels this liver failure can be reversed, but not only that there can be no long term effects. I was overcome with joy and I am eternally grateful to that physician assistant as he was the saving grace to my family and stopped my worse nightmare from coming true.
I knew from that day that I wanted to become a physician assistant and I want to help and inspire others as he did for me that day. I have always wanted to become a physician assistant so I can give back to those that gave to me whether its family, my community, or the people that have inspired me without even knowing it. I do not want to give back to them in materialistic items but I want to give them knowledge, healing, and health like the physician assistant did for me at the young age of 18. I want to make a difference in peoples lives with medicine whether its from the knowledge I will gain from a physician assistant program, or simply offering them a good laugh, or someone to listen to them. I will forever be grateful to that physician that day and I want to give back to him by following in his footsteps.
Trey says
When I was a child I would swing on the swing set built by my grandfather from an old oak tree in my backyard. I would sit there and swing hours losing track of time singing to myself or playing make believe. When I was on that old oak swing set swinging as high as I possibly could I felt untouchable. I imagined myself as a bird in flight that I could above me in the clear blue skies. My only cares like the birds I saw above me were the beauty of each minute that passes before me. I was always overcome with a sense of peace when I was on that swing set and all my worries went away.
We wake one day to find that old oak swingset that I spent my childhood on had served its purpose and had become withered, cracked, and aged beyond repair. We continue to search again for that swing set, dying to find a sense of that peace it gave us. We urn to find it each day through our life and our career.
I had a patient one day by the name of Doris who was an older lady who had a stroke and was unable to talk yet her face and hands told a story that I so desired to hear and understand. I had known Doris by encountering her in the small town that I work in as a firefighter and paramedic, everyone knows everyone. We were called to her house on that warm summer morning by her husband who had some concern about Doris. Doris was fond of me from our previous encounters as I always knew where to get blood work from her in the ambulance. Today when we got to Doris, we knew something was terribly wrong from the second we came in contact with one another that day. She still looked at me and gave me her smile that is eternally burned into the depths of my mind, but she had the look of fear in her eyes and on her face. Her husband said she referenced having chest pain when they woke up this morning but they did not think anything of it. I placed her on the cardiac monitor in the ambulance and realized she was having a heart attack. I started an intravenous line and gave her all the appropriate medications, and did everything to the best of my ability. She wrote to me several times on her piece of paper that ride asking why it was so loud and why the sirens were blaring as we were racing down the roads as every second counted for her. We arrived to the hospital wit Doris and transferred care and like I always told her when we encountered one another “I’ll see you soon Doris” and she waved and smiled just like she always had in the past. That was the last day I ever saw Doris.
In the memory of Doris and every other patient who has touched my life every single day I have regained a piece of that old oak swing set that I loved during my childhood. I have been working fire and ems since 2014 and every day has brought me great joy. I have found to be part of a persons day is truly a gift. There are truly many pleasures in life but to me there is none greater then to give back to others. As I did on that old oak swing set I find great peace in giving back to others which drives my desire to become a physician assistant. I know I will be able to give back to others and make a difference every day in their life with every person I encounter.
Sarah Schultz says
Trey, I believe this is very similar to the essay our founder, Stephen Pasquini, used to get into PA school (https://www.thepalife.com/how-to-write-the-perfect-physician-assistant-school-application-essay/). A little too similar–this is probably plagiarism. Many PA school admissions professionals are familiar with our site. They could recognize this essay and penalize you.
My advice as a seasoned editor with The PA Life? Go with your own original essay. Your own story in your own words is what will make you shine.
Hannah says
It was a midsummer night as I signed into my shift as an Emergency Room Technician at ———— Hospital. While reading over my charts, a patient rang the call light. Upon entering the room, I greeted an elderly woman. She laughed as she said “I’m afraid I have to go to the bathroom, and it’s going to have to be a bedpan.” Noting her embarrassment, I smiled and replied “Hey, that’s what I’m here for.” It was then that I noticed she was a complete leg amputee. As I continued to make her comfortable she said “I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time.” I smiled back at her and reassured her that this was no trouble at all. After settling her back into bed, I exited the room to find a bustling Emergency Department. Tasks were abundant — from assisting doctors with surgical procedures to helping nurses document vital signs. When the chaos began to decline, the woman’s call light went on again. The relief in her eyes was obvious when she saw my familiar face. By the end of my shift, I assisted this sweet woman with eleven bedpans, and I can say that she was my favorite patient of the night. Before signing off for the day I wanted to wish her well, but she was sound asleep. I grabbed a post-it and wrote “It was amazing to meet you, hope you feel better soon – Hannah.” Careful not to wake her up, I stuck the note to the side of her bed. I left my shift with a sense of fulfillment knowing that I could make a positive difference during this woman’s difficult time.
My intuitive love of caring for others began at a young age. I am a part of a large, loving family that has been there through the years to care of each other. My grandma was battling congestive heart failure when my mother transitioned into being her caregiver. At seven years old I accompanied my mom every day to run errands. Quickly, I learned the immense amount of effort and passion it took to take care of someone else. Five years ago, my grandpa battled terminal lung cancer. Remembering my mom and how to be an effective caretaker, I was able to assist my family in caring for him during his final days. I held his hand during nebulizer treatments and decoded his slurred words. The love and attention from his closest caretakers put him at ease in his final days, and I witnessed the gratitude and appreciation in his eyes. It was at this moment I knew my future career would involve helping others.
I was raised in a family of EMTs, nurses, and firefighters. As the daughter of an EMT, I always looked forward to hearing about my dad’s calls. When I was old enough to ride along, it was exhilarating to experience the emergencies and see how medical personnel were able to intervene. As I progressed through my undergraduate courses of Microbiology, Cardiac Rehabilitation and Cell Biology, my passion for medicine grew stronger. Although Anatomy and Physiology challenged me the most out of all the courses I took, it was, by far the most enjoyable. My hunger for knowledge grew past the pathophysiology of the diseases we studied. During the course we had the opportunity to study within a cadaver lab setting with over 30 patients to learn from. Every delicate organ and anatomical variation fascinated me, particularly one patient’s cardiac bypass. I needed and wanted to learn more.
During my Sophomore year of college I woke up one day with epigastric pain. I visited the school clinic where they referred me to a gastrointestinal physician assistant. My PA, Nancy, saw my nervous expression and put me at ease with a smile and a corny joke. Her history and physical exam was thorough and methodical. She took into consideration my concerns, and we decided on an endoscopy to evaluate my pain. Following the procedure, Nancy explained my diagnosis as GERD and hiatal hernia. She reviewed my medication list, and we discussed how the treatments would help my pain. Nancy suggested simple solutions to my dilemmas, an easy to follow nutrition plan, and even gave me her direct line in case I had additional questions. Nancy’s willingness to take the time to listen, empathize and then educate was much appreciated. Her comforting demeanor and commitment to care helped solidify my eagerness to be able to provide to patients as Nancy had done for me.
My experience with Nancy connected all the dots. As a physician assistant, I will make meaningful connections with patients while exploring medicine. My genuine desire to succeed and inquisitiveness in the classroom will mold me into the provider I intend to become. Every ounce of my energy will be put into providing the best care and compassion for my patients. My personal and clinical experiences have proven that minuscule details can make an immense difference in a patient’s experience and in the workplace. My work ethic, empathy and intellectual drive will prepare me for a successful and rewarding career as a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Hannah,
You did a great job at many things in your essay. Your introduction is strong, demonstrating your ability to set patients at ease and your desire to help.
You also do a good job of showing your developing interest in medicine through watching your family and during college. (You will likely need to condense this where you can to leave room for some other elements that need to be added to your essay.)
Also, the story about meeting the PA in college is effective. It shows how you were introduced to the career.
I do think you’ll need to add more detail about your patient care experience. How did you build patient-care hours? What are some of your clinical skills?
Also, do you have any shadowing experience? Here, explain what you learned about the PA profession through those experiences. What did you learn from watching PA/patient interactions? PA/physician interactions? Why is this a good fit for you? More time for patient connection? Autonomy? If you’ve worked with PAs, include what you learned from them as well.
Lastly, in your introduction, I would add a sentence or two that ties back to your great introduction.
Cassandra says
Hi! this is my second time applying for PA school. I am really not sure how to address this in my statement. Any help would be appreciated.
I was driving home from a movie late on a Saturday night. There was a truck ahead of me swerving and speeding. I watched as the truck jumped a railing and slammed into a concrete overpass. Everyone on the highway had stopped. I called 911 and alerted them to the accident and then drove as close as possible to the scene. I sprinted towards the accident. When I got there a man was already looking in the front seat and said the drivers head had crashed into the front windshield. He was dead. Even though I knew there was no chance of survival with that type of head trauma, I still felt helpless. I thought to myself if there had been a chance of intervention I wanted to have the knowledge and experience to help if someone’s life depended on it.
I’ve always known I want to be a helper. I’ve worked hard to help the world in every way with my current abilities and skills. I have helped by working as a scribe in an emergency room (ER) and by working as a molecular technician in women’s health testing, and genetic testing. I have helped in public libraries and dog shelters. I have even combined my love for crafting and making things with my hands with helping by donating hand sewn masks during the COVID-19 pandemic. Out of everything I have helped with, I have never had the skill set to help save someone’s life or help ease their pain by assuring them they would be okay. This is the reason why I am pursuing a path to become a physician’s assistant (PA).
I read in a baby name book that my name, Cassandra, meant helper of men. I don’t know if it was reading that at a young age or if it was just an ingrained part of my DNA, but when I started to think about careers for myself, a very selfless career came to mind, psychiatrist. That was always my goal through my bachelor degree. Medical school to become a psychiatrist. While obtaining my bachelor’s I didn’t have much time to gain healthcare experience because I played volleyball for all 4 years. Once I graduated I knew I needed to pack experience in with continued education in a healthcare related field so I chose to obtain my masters in Medical lab science and start a job as a scribe in the emergency room (ER) at the same time.
I had actually never known a PA until I started in the ER. Working with PAs, I realized there were not many differences between them and the medical doctors. They saw patients, they made clinical decisions, but they were expected to rely on their doctors and their peers in order to make decisions. I really like that part of the profession. The PAs would conduct their exams and order imaging and labs. Then at the end they would summarize the patient’s story to the doctor they were working with and the doctors would either agree with the PAs decision for the patient or recommend a different route. The doctor and PA worked as a team to see patients.
I’ve been a part of a team for most of my life and I thrive in a team environment. I saw this trait in the PAs I worked with. They needed to have the confidence to take the lead but the awareness to accept help when needed. There was a shift I worked where the PA was the first to be in the room for a trauma, they started the initial physical exam and intubated the patient without hesitation. The nurses would call out when a medication was last administered and when the next one was due. The ebb and flow of the room was flawless, everyone had a part and everyone relied on each other to save this patient’s life. I was even a part of the flow as a scribe, sometimes I would be asked by the nurses about the notes of the physical exam or notes on timing. I had to be quick and confident in what I had heard and seen.
Throughout my time in the ER I noticed I was drifting away from the psychiatrist route. I enjoyed the fast paced environment of the ER but I also found joy in helping the women that came in for gynecology issues. The best part of the ER was that a little bit of everything came in, we would still have psych cases, but there were traumas and women’s health cases. This is one of the things I really appreciate about the PA career. There is the flexibility to switch specialties. I have passions to explore different types of medicine and being a PA has the opportunity for that.
I have been able to help in the gynecology field by working in women’s health and prenatal genetic testing as a molecular technologist. I serve a valuable aspect of medicine by providing lab testing and results, but I also know that I can do more to help. As a PA I know that I can not only help patients that come to see me but also help when I see an accident in my everyday life. I know this because I am a natural helper. I am the type of person who will run to the site of a crashed truck on an interstate despite the fact that I lack the skills to save someone’s life. I will always find ways to help but being a PA will give me the tools to help in a better way.
Whitney Prosperi says
Cassandra,
What an incredibly sad and compelling story in your introduction. It is clear that you truly have a heart to help others in their times of suffering.
You show a strong understanding of the PA profession through your examples and observations.
I would add a paragraph that shows you in action performing some kind of clinical care while making a personal connection with a patient. Show how you treat patients and coworkers through this story. Maybe you were calming a nervous patient or doing something to put them at ease.
If we can help you further with our revision service, please let us know.
Best of luck to you!
Kylee Black says
This is my first rough draft. Any and all advice is appreciated!
I met a woman named Joy. At my first job as a certified nurse assistant and medication assistant, the resident staff were quick to inform me that Joy would refuse all her medication and meals. She wore a veil of fear, and it was easy to see her dementia had taken everything familiar away. It was true she often refused her meals and medications and sat alone in her room each day. While once again attempting to feed Joy, I noticed a picture on her dresser of her when she was younger; it looked like me. I asked Joy about this, desperate to find something in common with her, so for a moment her fear could be at ease. While she looked at this picture it was unclear whether she recognized herself in it, but after a moment of silence, Joy smiled. She did see herself, but she also saw me. A dynamic in our relationship had changed considerably; replaced by fear was trust. This was Joy’s pivotal point. This trust Joy found in me allowed her to eat what I fed her, to take the medications I gave her, and to walk the halls each day with a smile on her face. To remove Joy’s veil of fear, if only for a moment, has empowered me to see the importance of knowing a patient wholly. The connection I established with Joy cemented my desire to become a physician assistant and drives me to strive as a healthcare provider to understand all of my patient’s needs, not only their physical ones.
As I started my second job as a CNA and Health Unit Coordinator (HUC) at Altru Hospital, I quickly learned that while you may see patients with similar diseases, each patient brings their own story to the table. I started at Altru mostly working as a HUC first, which allocated a large amount of my time to communicating with the providers, the nurses, and the patients to see that provider’s orders were placed properly and patient needs were met. I was the center hub of communication between provider and patient. Being a HUC for the largest unit in our hospital gave me the ability to synergize with all members of the healthcare team and has taught me above all other things that when the healthcare team cannot work effectively, the patient is the one who suffers. I observed many doctors and physician assistants as HUC and came to one major conclusion: the physician assistants made special note of their patient as a whole human with a mind and soul. Originally entering undergraduate school thinking I wanted to be a doctor, I realized that this would not satisfy my insatiable need to connect with my patients, as I did with Joy.
After a couple months as HUC, I began to work as a CNA at Altru as well. Through my daily shift routines, I began to realize that asking our patient “How are you today?” and waiting for their generic response is a crucial mistake many of us make in treating our patients. Often times our patients are fearful, lonely, or simply bored. Engaging the mind in conversation can turn the attitude of any person, even if only to distract from their pain for a moment. I have made it a point as best I can to be seldom found in the nurse’s station between duties, but filling my shift downtime by playing cards to distract my patient with dementia from the fact she is not at home, listening to my lonely patient talk about Robert Downey Jr. for 15 minutes, and holding the hand of my coma patient telling them about the weather that day. While anyone who works in healthcare knows how draining it can be, I have found that these are the things that recharge me. These seemingly small connections are what push me to further my education and pursue a career as a physician assistant.
As I discovered my drive to become a physician assistant, my shadowing only affirmed me all the more. A cardiology physician assistant I shadowed proved what I knew to be true; that at the heart of the physician assistant life is the desire to know each patient wholly. I followed as she spoke to one patient in particular. This patient had needed lifesaving care but was refusing every person who asked him to receive it. This physician assistant sat with him while I observed from the background how she found a way to relate to him, his physical and emotional needs, and was able to show him how this was really the only option for him. She saw through his reason for rejecting the care in the first place. She was not blinded by his anger and knew what he really needed was for someone to see his denial and fear, and to help him through the grief of a life he once knew, in order to move forward into a life with this treatment.
Going in to meet a new patient, we never know what will be presented to us. Medicine is hard. Anybody who works in healthcare knows this to be true. We feel the joy of our patients that walk out of the hospital when we least expect it, and we feel the pain of our patients who do not receive their happy ending. While we may not know what will happen to all of our patients, I do know that each is unique, with their own experiences and needs. Letting our patient tell us about their past, easing their fear for a moment, or holding their hand as they slip from this life is what we vow to do as healthcare providers. With the skills and knowledge of a physician assistant, I endeavor to be a game changer in providing my patients with high level and quality care, while investing the time in each to treat the whole person; mind body and soul.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kylee,
The story in your introduction is strong, showing your creativity and persistence to connect with a patient.
I would condense where you can throughout your essay, word by word.
Also, work in some more detail about your clinical skills/medical knowledge.
I would also mention your desire to collaborate with a healthcare team since this is such an integral part of the PA’s role.
If you have any volunteerism, especially with an underserved population, bring that in.
Lastly, I add a sentence to your conclusion that ties back to your introduction.
You are off to a great start.
Best of luck to you.
Ashley says
Hi, Sorry, I made some new edits, added some details, and rearranged. If you haven’t read my other ones. I would like some feedback thank you!
At the age of 17 I was forced to make a very tough decision for myself, my education, and my future. After reuniting with my extended family in Hong Kong and living there for 8 years, I decided to return to the U.S.-a country now foreign to me-to complete my high school education and pursue a college degree. I know that my decision was important and am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to receive a wonderful education here in the United States, but leaving my family, friends, and culture to travel to a new place by myself was tough. The transition was the hardest part- so much had changed since I had been here when I was 9 years old.
However, as my clinical experience as a radiation therapy student began, I was reminded of growing up in Hong Kong. I lived in a village where everyone was close and the main population was elderly. On top of helping cancer patients, I was able to volunteer at a local senior center which made me feel as if I were caring for family members back home. In the clinic, I see these patients everyday and developed wonderful relationships with them as we chatted on our walk to the treatment room. I am always eager to know how they are feeling and feel pride in the security and support I can give them. Seeing the smiles on their faces fueled by the hope and faith they had in my coworkers and myself motivated me to be there. Although I miss my family and friends in Hong Kong very much, I have known since I left home at 17 that I want to work in the medical field.
However, as much as I enjoy my time as a radiation therapist, I know that I want to do even more. I want to be a PA so my patients can rely on my expertise and know I will do whatever I can to help them live the highest quality of life possible. My path to becoming a PA has been riddled with obstacles that I have chosen to not let stop me. I had considered going straight into PA school after high school and even shadowed multiple PA’s in different fields to get a better sense of what they do day to day.
Upon graduating high school, I applied to multiple undergraduate PA programs. However, as a first-generation college student far away from my childhood support system, I was unable to bear the financial burden that PA school would impose. Due to this financial burden, I pursued the prerequisites for PA school along with majoring in radiation therapy at the more affordable University of Vermont. After four additional years, I have built up a solid support system and financial stability by working almost 40-hour weeks on top of being a full-time student, allowing me to finally be able to apply for PA school. I know that some of my recommenders may have doubts about my ability to handle the rigor of PA school, but I believe that is because they had a limited view of the work I was putting both in and outside of the classroom. I am now at the point in my life where I am financially stable and able to devote all my time and energy towards school. I have worked incredibly hard to be where I am now and I am humbled and eager to come even closer to achieving my dreams. Becoming a PA would allow me to continue helping people in the medical field and focus on patient care while being able to practice somewhat independently.
There was one particular patient that I will never forget. We got to know more about each other everyday so finally, when I had to move on to my next rotation, the patient wanted to make sure he thanked me when his treatment had ended. Even though it may be thought of as the smallest gesture, the appreciation I felt from that patient meant the world to me. They put their trust in me as part of their care and I became essential to their support system. My experiences as a radiation therapist only solidified this even more and strengthened my compassion and desire to help people.
Clinical skills weren’t the only thing I was able to gain in school. While attending the University of Vermont I gained leadership experience by becoming a Lead Resident Advisor (LRA). As an LRA, I mentored and supervised a group of 54 college residents. I learned to support each and every one of my residents based on their unique backgrounds and interests by being present and engaged with them. As part of this mentorship, I built a community where we were able to appreciate each other’s differences. As a PA, I would use these skills to learn about each patient’s background and accommodate their specific needs while providing guidance and giving utmost respect.
I am confident that the values and experiences I gained as a radiation therapist will continue and multiply in PA school. Against all odds, I have pushed myself to work 80 hours a week to get my degree as well as support myself. I am excited to start the next chapter of life by helping others and providing both medical and emotional support. Ever since leaving Hong Kong at the age of 17, I have known that becoming a PA is my goal and I will do whatever it takes to reach it. I can only dream of all the people I will be able to someday help.
Whitney Prosperi says
Ashley,
I admire your bravery to take that huge step at such a young age.
For your introduction, could you punch up the drama a little bit? Maybe you could start out by explaining the first day alone in the U.S. Or if that doesn’t work, briefly describe some moment where you realized you were alone here and then tell the back story of your choice to come to America. (But watch your character count here. It would be tempting to write a lot and not have space for other elements.
If you have any other work/patient care experience, describe that in a way that shows your clinical skills and medical knowledge.
I would also expand on the section about shadowing PAs. Describe the interactions you witnessed that confirmed your desire to pursue the PA path. You want to show that you understand the profession and are a good fit for it. Additionally, if you have worked with any PAs, describe what you learned from them as well.
If you have any volunteerism, touch on that.
I would go through your essay several times, cutting unnecessary words and tightening everything up. This will help the important details about your story to really shine.
I wish you good luck as you continue your journey!
Cinthia says
hi, thank you for taking the time to read my rough draft, I hope I’m somewhat on the right track!
There I was with my chipped toenails, sweaty, after walking across campus from class talking to an admission representative one-on-one. To my knowledge, I signed up for an information session—a presentation in an auditorium amongst others—on a career I had never heard of. I mentioned my indecisiveness between pursuing medical or nursing school, till I was cut off and the lady said, “No no, PA school is the way to go.” I was left stunned at how confident she was with this career path, which gave me the desire to learn more about it. Although it was extremely difficult to take a gap year as she suggested, it has been the best decision I have ever made, as my experiences throughout this year have reassured me that pursuing a career as a PA is the path I want to be on.
I have observed death in a multitude of ways. While shadowing in the ER, I witnessed a heart attack. As a CNA in a nursing home, I watched residents that I cared for as if they were my own family perish to illness. I read falling hCG levels as an MA at the ob-gyn clinic, signifying a miscarriage, while the patient notifies me of bleeding. But nothing struck me more than learning that Matteo had suffered from an intracerebral hemorrhage and was placed on a ventilator in ICU. Perhaps, because I felt I had broken a promise.
I was called to PACU to translate for the Spanish-speaking parents of a 6-year-old boy. The parents’ fear quickly mitigated as they found comfort through the words I repeated from the nurse stating Matteo would be fine and not to worry. I comforted the panicking mom and took her out for some fresh air. I later grabbed a wet cloth to dab around Matteo’s forehead as he yawned and moved his arm. I knew he was fighting to wake up. It was now 5 hours post-op and hours after my shift was over, when Matteo was taken for a CT scan. I believed in the team to provide their best care as well as in the words I was told to translate. Yet, I wish I could have done more.
I ran into Matteo’s dad a couple of days later who cried on my shoulders as he told me “every time we think of that day, your face pops up, we will never forget you. Thank you for wanting the best for Matteo.” I was grateful, but reluctant to be part of such a memory. I have loved kids my entire life, and for the first time I doubted ever working with children again, and even began to question my career path. However, I came to an epiphany that he was clearing me of my guilt from the words I had promised them and realized I did more than simply break a language barrier. I know I was the one who exercised courtesy and compassion. I’ve always been confident in wanting to help others, but this experience helped me to answer why, and further assure that this is my purpose. I will carry Matteo with me through my journey and in my career as a PA. Despite the heavy feeling, it brings me more joy to know I am the face and light of day in others’ worst.
The question of whether Matteo was an organ donor made me wonder if I was going to witness another organ procurement surgery. There was nothing more admirable than seeing a team of surgeons meet for the first time and work simultaneously to obtain their individual organ. I will never forget when the surgeon finally removed the heart and fisted it in one hand as if it were a stress ball and extended his other hand to the surgeon in front of him saying “well done.” I thought the heart was so powerful and beautiful, until the lungs were removed. I didn’t know what the color white was until I saw those majestic wings of an angel. I have always said the human body is an incredible machine, and to see those organs outside of their home, bringing a team together to potentially save 7 other lives is amazing. This inspires me to form the bond of a PA alongside doctors and nurses in order to provide the best quality of care for my patients.
I never looked back after the first time I heard about the PA profession. Especially after shadowing PAs in surgery. I watched them take the diagnostic process so meticulously with every patient, follow up with the doctor on duty, and independently do rounds and minor procedures. I could tell there were stressful moments, but their lively attitude as a provider stayed consistent with every patient. At the end of the day, we’re all a team working together for our patients, but becoming a PA settled within me in ways that other healthcare professions did not. It simply feels right, and my desire to live and learn has never been stronger.
My experiences this past year have morphed me to be the confident person I am today in my career path. I am fortunate enough to have changed the devastating story to a hopeful and caring one as I was able to with Matteo’s parents. With my passion and determination, as a physician assistant, I can continue learning, giving, and making a difference. Unlike last year, I can now, hopefully with a pedicure, confidently say that the PA route really is the way to go.
Whitney Prosperi says
Cinthia,
The story about Matteo is so moving that I would make that your introduction. Tighten it up so that the details really stand out. This will also leave room for you to add other important elements to your essay.
I would remove the comments about chipped toenails/pedicure as that seems trivial in light of the heavy topics you are writing about.
After your introduction, briefly touch on how you found out about the PA profession.
You will then want to spotlight your patient care experience. What are your clinical skills? Show yourself in action by telling a brief story about connecting with a patient while providing care. You want to show how you perform your duties.
I would also expand on your section about shadowing PAs. What have you observed regarding PA/patient interactions as well as PA/physician interactions. You want to show why you are a good fit for the profession.
While the writing is beautiful where you discuss organ donation, I feel like you will need to condense this section to allow for other elements that need to be present to show you are ready for PA school. If you have any volunteerism, include that.
Remember, we are taking submissions for essay revision, so if we can help you further, let us know.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Julia says
Hello! I am in desperate need of any input on this first draft!! Thank you 🙂
My interest in being a Physician Assistant (PA) stems from a longstanding intrigue in scientific discovery in the field of medicine. From a young age, I have been exposed to the worlds of science, research, and medicine. My mother works as a research geneticist at the University of Pittsburgh Magee Women’s Hospital where she brought me to “take your child to work” day and let me explore her laboratory. From then on, I felt a strong pull toward science and medicine that led me to begin college as a pre-medicine student.
During my sophomore year, I decided to explore chemistry research and applied for a research assistant position at Seton Hill University, developing an experiment for an Instrumental Analysis chemistry course. I then conducted organic synthesis chemistry research for 1.5 years at Denison University. Through researching, I have found a love for exploring the unknown and I know now that I never want to stop learning. I also discovered that my interests certainly did not lie in organic synthesis, and this solidified my interest in medicine.
Around the same time as my research experiences, I was introduced to a PA in reproductive endocrinology by my mother. This PA gave me insight on the profession, the various specialties she had worked in, and her opportunities to do research and continue learning after graduating. Medicine is constantly evolving and changing and being able to move with it is very exciting and appealing. A career as a PA would allow me to dedicate my life to continuous learning and the lateral flexibility of this profession would ensure the opportunity to delve into numerous areas of medicine. All of the skills and traits that I have gained during my experiences conducting research have prepared me for both PA school and working as a PA. Though bench chemistry was not well-suited for me, I recognize and appreciate how my experiences in research have shaped me as a student, a team member, and an independent thinker. I have learned independence and the ability to work diligently without close supervision. This has also fostered initiative, critical thinking skills, and confidence to work on my own. I discovered how to work as a responsible and reliable lab partner as well as the manager of a project or the leader of a discussion. Though I had begun my undergraduate studies in the pre-med track, these experiences allowed me to see that becoming a PA would grant me the opportunity to explore many different fields and to never stop learning.
Additionally, one of the main reasons I was drawn to the field of medicine was my own experiences with my health. As a teenager, I was referred to a women’s health specialist in Pittsburgh. At only 16 years old, I was told by my physician that I would never be able to bear a child. I was absolutely shocked to hear this devastating news and because I was so young, I felt entirely unequipped to process this information and move forward. I began researching and learning more about my diagnosis on my own, thus sparking an interest in women’s health and fertility that has stuck with me until the present day.
Throughout my academic career, this interest has influenced many of the courses I have taken. During my time studying abroad in Copenhagen, I was enrolled in a course taught by a midwife titled, “Pregnancy, birth, and infancy in Scandinavia”. Also, I worked in a hospital in Copenhagen and spent a few weeks in hospitals across Budapest and Vienna, where I had the
opportunity to conduct research on contraceptive management and sexual education in these varying healthcare systems. Upon returning to the US, I enrolled in a course, “Women, Bodies, and Medical Knowledge” at Denison University, which continued to fuel my interest and intrigue in women’s health. Ultimately, this led me to apply to work as a medical assistant at an obstetrics and gynecology (OBGYN) practice.
At this practice, I am fortunate enough to work with 14 providers, including physicians, nurse practitioners, and PAs. By working alongside PAs each day in the office, I have gained insight on day-to-day experiences for these providers. I see how they are able to spend the critical time with their patients that allows for trust and meaningful connections. The PAs I work with are also preceptors, so I have been able to work closely with PA students during their clinical rotations. Having this exposure to not only PAs, but PA students has convinced me entirely that this is the path I want to take. Because of my personal experiences in women’s health, I recognize the importance of having a provider that one can turn to voice their questions and concerns. I see now that the PAs I work with are able to act as the support system for their patients that I wish I had during my past experiences. While the journey to reach this point in my life was difficult and not as I expected, the idea of being able to pursue a career as a PA and act as an advocate for my patients makes the hardships worthwhile.
Whitney Prosperi says
Julia,
Your essay is off to a good start.
For your introduction, tell the story of “take your child to work day.” Describe what it was like seeing your mom in action and how your interest in science was sparked. This is your chance to grab the reader’s attention so do that here!
If you can work more of your patient care experience into the essay, do that. Describe your clinical skills and medical knowledge in a compelling way. It would be great to work a story in that shows you connecting with a patient while providing care of some kind. (comforting an anxious patient while drawing blood is an example)
When describing your shadowing of PAs, be sure to include details that show what you observed about the interactions between PAs and patients as well as PAs and physicians?
Also, if you have any volunteer experience, work that into your essay as well.
For your conclusion, I would add a sentence or two that ties back to that early spark of medicine that happened when you were a child.
Lastly, take some time to go through your essay word by word, cutting unnecessary words so that your story really shines through.
Good luck- and remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service if you would like further help.
Molly Pappin says
It all started with a unicorn. Or perhaps it was a pony named Norman, donned with a paper horn and multi-colored tail. But, six-year old Hazel did not know the difference between the two. She was a typical kindergartner: shy, insightful and obsessed with all things rainbow. However, her struggle to form relationships and maintain eye contact with people around her was palpable. She was visibly timid until Norman pranced through that back door. Her personality turned on a dime. She was now dancing around a room full of strangers with a smile plastered on her face; all because a group of college students took a personal interest in her life.
I met Hazel while working with Love Your Melon (LYM), a collegiate organization dedicated to supporting the fight against childhood cancer. Hazel was not only a kindergartener, but a Stage 4 Neuroblastoma warrior. Hazel had taught me about the importance of forming deep relationships with others and how they can influence behaviors. The pure joy that she emitted as a direct result of our actions assured me I was on the right career path, one aimed at becoming an empathetic, detail-oriented and relationship-seeking physician assistant.
I found myself wishing that I could provide more for Hazel. I pursued classes surrounding medicine, despite vivid memories of crying over high school physics at my kitchen table. Physics at the collegiate level cued the tears once again. Two tutors and numerous study groups later, I not only succeeded with the course but, I had unintentionally discovered an admiration for the scientific process. This only peaked when I was introduced to the intricacies of the human body. I threw myself into learning about the formation of personalities within the brain and the molecular process of a muscle contraction. I was hooked.
My appreciation for medicine grew during my time in Dr. Terasawa’s pediatric neuroendocrinology research lab. The opportunity to scrub in on experimental surgeries and oversee endocrine extractions, all while completing my own research projects only fueled my love of science. However, it felt as if there was something missing. Analyzing the data of Rhesus Macaques felt distant and cold in comparison to the warmth of connecting with patients, such as Hazel.
I discovered the connection I was desiring while working with LYM. With their help, I was able to devote the better part of my college years to visiting pediatric oncology units across the Midwest. I formed connections with like minded individuals as we worked to provide children battling cancer with personalized therapeutic experiences, such as helicopter rides and celebrity encounters. We aimed to provide psycho-social support to both patients and their families.
I completed various leadership roles within LYM, leading to my election as Chapter President in 2018. I strived to lead with an infectious enthusiasm, working among my peers to distribute appropriate tasks and oversee minor details to ensure each adventure was meaningful for children battling cancer. I was the sole communicator between families and local businesses to whom we partnered with to provide these experiences. I worked to provide an open environment, through small group discussions, where my fellow students could collaborate and provide unique adventures.
With the itch for medicine and human connection, I began to work as a Patient Care Assistant at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the world, Mayo Clinic. I have had the incredible opportunity to interact with patients of diverse cultures, abilities and ailments using an interdisciplinary approach. Although interactions may be short, the connection made with my patients can make or break their experience and their road to recovery. I have learned that it may not take much time to take a personal interest in a patient, but it makes all the difference in their care.
I began shadowing PAs of a variety of specialties, observing their purposeful interactions with patients and their ability to make patients feel as if they have more time for them than allotted. They utilized empathetic communication while validating the patient’s concerns and fears. They approached each patient from a holistic view, taking into consideration their psychological and social health. As an avid psychology student I resonated with these traits, further validating my choice to pursue a career as a PA.
My experiences within the healthcare system have not only shaped my insight into the physician assistant role but also provided me with the growth and integrity to handle the position. I am confident that my involvement in LYM equipped me for a career that values a leadership and teamwork-based approach as a provider. The human connections that I have formed with patients have unleashed my desire to devote my life to providing compassionate healthcare as a physician assistant. And I have learned that sometimes this human connection begins with a unicorn named Norman.
Whitney Prosperi says
Molly,
Your introduction is strong and the story about Hazel is effective. I would shorten this whole section though, so you can add more details describing your healthcare journey.
Also, detail more of your patient care experience. If you have a story you can tell that shows you connecting with a patient while providing care, include that. Use something from your work at Mayo! Show yourself in action.
Also, I would include more details about your shadowing experiences. What did you witness from watching interactions between PAs and patients? PAs and physicians? Show more about your understanding of the profession and give more details about why you are suited for it.
You are off to a great start! I would go through your essay cutting any unnecessary words and condensing where you can so your paragraphs pop! Good luck to you!
Alaysia says
Any and all comments are greatly appreciated.
It is November 23, 2015 in the ICU at the University of Minnesota East Bank Hospital. The patient is a 36-year old woman, Jillianne, suffering both liver and kidney failure. She is intubated, frail, and presently dying as the code alarm sounds. I am a freshman in college and this patient is my stepmother. I sit outside her room wondering, ‘will she make it?’ The response team rushes in. They save her, allowing her to make it through the holidays, only to die two months later in that same ICU bed. This made my freshman year the most tragic year of my life. College is a drastic adjustment alone. To add, I also competed for a Division I Track and Field team, essentially a full-time job. Taking a full course load, practicing over 25 hours a week, and then having a tragic family death was less than ideal. My grades and running career suffered, losing a portion of my athletic scholarship. However, I knew quitting would not be the answer, needing to show resilience.
As my years went on, I fought hard. I retook courses and pushed myself in and out of practice. By my junior year, I had regained my athletic scholarship and my focus to become a physician assistant. Throughout my collegiate career, I worked in various settings, understanding patient care was of great importance. Competing at a Division I level made it very difficult to obtain, not only time to work, but an employer who was willing to hire me. Our sport competed during both semesters, meaning there is no off season, racing most weekends. I interviewed for several CNA positions at the hospital, but no supervisor would hire me due to my inflexible track schedule. I ended up working at chiropractic clinics during the school year and hospitals in the summer months, making the most of the unique clinical settings. However, by my senior year, I knew I had to do something different if I wanted to fulfill my dream.
I gave it one more shot. Sanford had an opening on their medical/specialty unit. I applied and received an interview. I made it a point to show the importance of this position for my future success as a PA. To my luck, the supervisor was willing to work with me and I got the job. For the last semester of my senior year, each week I would be practicing a total of 25 hours, working 12 hours at the hospital, traveling most weekends for meets, and taking a full course load. To say this was stressful, is an understatement. However, I knew it would be necessary if I wanted a career as a PA.
The medical/specialty unit consists of behavioral and overflow patients. As one would assume, the floor varies greatly in diagnosis. From a patient detoxing to end-stage liver disease, we see it all. The diverse set of patients made giving care sometimes difficult. How does one give the same compassionate care to a patient who intentionally overdosed on heroine as to a 26-year old dying from leukemia? This is a constant fight every single day. However, I gained the knowledge of empathy and perspective. Yes, they may have overdosed intentionally, but did you know they just lost their husband and must care for five kids alone? Yes, he may be violent and detoxing, but did you know he was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer?
We will never know an entire patients’ story, and it is our job to not judge but give the best care possible. They are our patients and compassionate care is not earned; it is given no matter the circumstance. Did you know my stepmother was an anorexic, alcoholic? When she coded, the team could have walked slower to her ICU bed. Why should someone who poisons their body
deserve the right to live? But they did not walk, they ran. As medical professionals, they had empathy, they had compassion. In their eyes, maybe she did not deserve another chance. However, they ran for me and my family. Sometimes, compassionate care is for more than the patient. It is helping a mother back to her five children, and a man on to his chemo treatments. It is allowing my family and I to have one last holiday season, and for that I am forever grateful.
Whitney Prosperi says
Alaysia,
There are many compelling elements in your essay.
If I were you, I would rework your introduction, keeping the part about your stepmother and adding some of the comments (from later in your essay) about the compassionate caregivers during that time. I think this would be a strong opening showing how your family was personally affected by compassionate care. Also, regarding your introduction, I would move the discussion about your grade struggles toward the end of the essay. While you are smart to address the topic, I wouldn’t put that in my introduction. Instead, toward the end of the essay, mention the tragedy in your family, your rigorous schedule and then how your grades suffered. Next, show what you learned through that experience which will help you avoid similar issues with grades going forward.
I would also write a paragraph about your patient care experience. Describe your duties at the chiropractor’s office, the hospital, and the job at Sanford. Show how you interacted with patients while caring for them. If you have a story about connecting with a special patient while providing care, include that as well.
I would also write a paragraph that shows your understanding of the PA profession. Describe what you learned from working with or shadowing PAs and then tell why it is a good fit for you. Relate what you learned from watching them interact with patients and physicians.
If you have any volunteerism, especially with an underserved group, include that as well.
Finally, for your conclusion, tie back to the compassionate caregivers who treated your stepmother. Reiterate your desire to extend that same care to other families in turmoil.
Remember, we are taking essays for our revision service. If we can help you, let us know.
Good luck to you on your journey!
Caroline says
“Salamat po,” I said fondly as a patient left the clinic, using one of the Tagalog phrases I learned to show my thanks and respect in his native language. He smiled widely as he bowed his head back, replying “Thank you very much, doctor.” Although I was his medical assistant, not his doctor, I understood he was showing his thanks for us. Had it not been for our team of volunteers running the free clinic, his unmanaged diabetes would have continued to affect his health. He was no less hardworking, no less deserving than any other. He was simply one of the millions in our country who could not afford health insurance.
I was quite young when I realized life was not fair. I had an extremely fortunate upbringing. I grew up the youngest, meaning that my sisters were the ones that suffered the rough trial-and-error parenting process. Once it was my turn, my path had been smoothed out, my family acting as experienced mentors to provide guidance and advice along the way.
I recognize that many do not have this privilege. My college classmates included first-generation college students, navigating American university systems for the first time in their lives. Others managed food insecurity or financially supporting their families. I felt an enormous pang of compassion for them. In efforts to show my support, I committed to building my resources into something that could benefit others.
That drove me to join Bayanihan Clinic. The team of undergraduates, medical and physician assistant (PA) students, and doctors came together under a common goal: to provide free primary health care services to the underserved population of Sacramento. Waking up at 6 AM was not how I expected to spend Saturdays in college, but I remained determined to transform my education, literacy, transportation and time into something that could uplift the population around me.
Throughout the day, our clinic bustles with lively energy. I briskly walk down the halls in between duties to check if my colleagues need help. Chitchat fills the clinic space, communication flowing between patients to undergraduates to medical and PA students to preceptors. We operate similar to an ant colony, each individual working hard to provide the highest level of care for our patients together. Patients check in and out with warm grateful smiles on their face as they leave, a reassuring sign we are doing well.
Any moments of free time I had, I spent in my favorite room: the provider room. Here, I was fascinated listening to the medical jargon spoken by the medical and PA students, and filled with admiration and respect as I witnessed them discuss their patient cases together, bouncing ideas between each other and the preceptor. I loved that the field of medicine intersected problem-solving, medical knowledge, and social intelligence. This is when medicine clicked for me. I spent as much time as I could in here, asking PA students about their journey and taking notes on the preceptor’s mini-lectures about treating gout. Through shadowing, I analyzed which phrases made patients uneasy or receptive, how to effectively explain medical terminology to a lay audience, how to sway noncompliant patients, how to compassionately deliver bad news. Every week, I gathered as much insight as I could on how to become a better provider.
Many patients come in with limited medical knowledge, sometimes having gone over 10 years since their last check-up. As an opportunity to build a connection with them, as well as unpack the issues that restrict healthcare access, I ask them why they don’t come more often. Some claim financial reasons, some lack transportation, others are immigrants unfamiliar with Western medicine. Regardless of the reason, my goal is to have them leave feeling grateful they made time to see us that day.
Still, our clinic faces obstacles. One day, a patient entered our waiting room on a day our clinic was fully booked. She was a new patient walk-in appointment. She looked at me with hopeful yet desperate eyes, a hand against her head because of head-splitting migraines she needed medication for. “Please,” she begged. “I am in pain, it’s hard for me to work now. I took a day off work to come here. I have nowhere else to go.” I looked at our schedule with a sinking heart, knowing it was unlikely she could be seen today. Next week was booked too. She offered to wait and see if anything opened for the day. Two hours later, we were both filled with sorrow as I had to turn her away.
Pained moments like these unfortunately happen often. They serve as a reminder of the limitations we have as a free clinic. This shortage of healthcare providers and resources is what ultimately drives me to become a PA. Working collectively with a team with physicians, nurses, and all providers, I wish to push toward a society that expands high-quality healthcare access to all patients, including the underserved.
Whitney Prosperi says
Caroline,
I see your compassion shine throughout your essay.
The details about the free clinic are compelling. When describing this, I would add a few more specifics about your duties there. Add in more description of your clinical skills, spotlighting your medical knowledge. (You will likely need to condense this section somewhat to allow for more room to describe your healthcare experience.
Explain a little more what you have learned from shadowing PAs. What have you seen in their interactions with patients and physicians that has inspired you? Tell more about what will make the PA profession a good fit for you.
If you have any grade issues, you’ll want to bring those up in a brief paragraph toward the end of the essay. Explain what happened and what you learned that will help you avoid similar issues in the future.
You are off to a good start.
If we can be of further assistance, remember we are taking submissions through our essay service.
Good luck!
Casey says
Bright fluorescent lights, the loud incessant beeping of machines accented by wailing alarms, the rhythmic rasp of a ventilator, rooms crowded with plastic incubators holding the most delicate of human lives. Amid the commotion of machines and specialized doctors, nurses, therapists and techs are cries so small and feeble they are barely audible. In the U.S., nearly one in ten babies are born prematurely every year. Blessedly, medical science has led to more advanced, lifesaving care for babies who would not otherwise survive outside the womb — including myself. My mother had to be airlifted to a specialized hospital due to birth complications and underwent an emergency caesarean section. Because of this, I was born at 27 ½ weeks alongside my twin sister, weighing in at slightly over two pounds, resulting in a prolonged stay in the NICU for about 54 days.
Perhaps because of my fascination and gratitude to the power of medicine that enabled my prematurely-born twin sister and me a chance at life, I am the first person and female in my family to embark into the medical field. The first person who encouraged me to think about studying medicine was my grandmother, who had a disease that eventually led to the loss of her ability to walk. My mother, who is suffering from autoimmune disease, is another inspiration. It was eye-opening to watch her keep trying to obtain a definitive diagnosis while ravaged by unusual and complex symptoms; her trials further inspired me to learn about the interconnectivity of body systems and the power to advocate for oneself.
I began my role in healthcare as a medical scribe in the emergency department. It was this job that solidified my interest in medicine. Although scribing does not allow for any physical patient contact, it is second-to-none for direct exposure to disease processes, medical decision making, and both routine and lifesaving medical procedures. I have been a direct witness to patients who need urgent medical treatment, as well as patients who have been waiting for hours on end to be seen for minor complaints, such as pediatric fever or migraine headache, simply because they have no other option.
It was in the ED that I had the opportunity to shadow both an emergency PA and trauma PA, allowing me to observe both patient/PA and Physician/PA interactions and procedures, including surgery. The ranges of independent levels among the PAs and the professionalism shown under stressful situations was impressive — seeing how triage operates, the vast amount of diagnostic tools used in evaluating the patient, the role of radiology, the sheer amount of trauma-related consultations.
Initially, I had the intent of becoming a doctor. However, after numerous hours shadowing and working alongside nurses, techs, therapists, NPs, PAs and MDs in the ED, I found the role of a PA was the right fit for me. As a PA, I would have the same opportunities to build strong patient relations and balance of autonomy in clinical practice that I desire, all while being in a role that would provide me a flexible and balanced lifestyle. I am an enthusiastic lifelong learner who constantly seeks development and new experiences. My goal is to be a PA who will be caring, detail-oriented, and mindful of the needs of every patient.
I understand that to become a PA, academic excellence is imperative, so I would like to take the time to explain any discrepancies in my transcripts. During high school, I participated in the Cambridge program and dual-enrollment program, graduating with 48 college credits; however, due to taking more classes than the average and working part-time, I initially did not pass trigonometry. During the fall 2016 semester of my undergrad, I developed bronchitis for over three months. Upon finals week, I went to the clinic seeking treatment and was found to be hypoxic with an oxygen saturation of 86-87%. I was transferred to the hospital by ambulance and admitted for three days secondary to pneumonia. For this reason, I had to withdraw from physiology and initially did not pass my statistics class, since I was unable to take those final exams.
Ironically, it was a sickness that handicapped me in this area of my academics — and it is sickness that I hope to help countless others combat in my occupational future. I have proven my capability and motivation during my last two years of college when I rebounded my grades and professional experiences. I am willing to do what it takes to fulfill my dream to provide the best quality care I am capable of. I would not have survived even hours in this world, had it not been for the incredible care, knowledge, and tireless support from the NICU. At 27 weeks old, through the power of contemporary medicine and its practitioners, I was given a miraculous new lease on life. I find it my deepest calling to become a PA and do everything possible to bring this life-giving, healing power and potential to as many others as I can.
Whitney Prosperi says
Casey,
Your essay has many wonderful elements. You are off to a great start.
Your introduction is effective and interesting.
You also do a good job of showing your exposure to the PA field and your understanding of what it takes to be a great PA.
I would add a paragraph that highlights more of your patient care experience. I think it would be helpful if you told a story that showed you providing medical care while also connecting with a patient on a personal level. (Calming an anxious patient while performing your duties in an efficient and caring manner.) This will show you in action and spotlight what you have to offer patients as a future PA.
Also, if you have any volunteer experience, especially with an underserved population, include that.
Good luck to you in this process.
Claire Houlihan says
Hi! I would greatly appreciate any comments on my personal statement draft. Thanks!
A level three trauma center in suburban Minneapolis wouldn’t typically be the first choice for a serious trauma victim to receive care. However, while giving a new emergency center technician (ECT) a tour of the hospital we unexpectedly found ourselves providing care to a critical trauma patient. While walking down a deserted hallway in the middle of the night, we heard shouting from outside of a locked doorway. We quickly rushed over and found two individuals, one of which was slumped over in a wheelchair with a gunshot wound to the abdomen.
Without hesitation, I provided on-scene emergency care that I had learned in my previous job as a field emergency medical technician. I instructed the new ECT to apply direct pressure to the visible entry wound as I rushed us down the hallway and into the elevator. In order to maintain control of the situation, I reassured the patient that we were here to help. I obtained important details about the trauma so that I could pass on the relevant information later. When the elevator doors opened, I accompanied the patient into the nearest trauma room and sent the new ECT to alert additional staff. He returned momentarily with the closest help he could find, a physician assistant and a nurse.
The PA assumed control of the situation and completed a rapid assessment while I relayed the actions I had taken to stabilize the patient. She uniquely balanced her skills by providing direct patient care while also thinking critically about the next steps to keep the patient alive. I observed the PA work alongside the nursing staff before an attending physician arrived moments later. The initial steps the PA orchestrated allowed the doctor to seamlessly take over the treatment of the patient. I saw how both the actions of myself and the PA had a direct positive impact on the patient’s outcome. With the available resources, we both created effective healthcare teams and delegated tasks appropriately. Working alongside her to save the patient’s life was an inspiring moment that further drove my desire to be a PA.
As a reapplicant, I am entering this cycle with an even greater desire to achieve my goal of becoming a PA. Over the past year as an ECT, I have gained an additional 1,000 hours of patient care and have taken on more responsibility by teaching new hires. Splinting and blood draws, once challenging, are now tasks that I perform with ease. While some tasks have become routine, I am constantly being presented with new challenges such as seeking deeper personal connections with patients. In my current position, I strive to complete tasks effectively while also finding ways to connect with each patient. Simple conversations I have with them go a long way to improve their overall experience in the emergency room. Building a professional relationship with patients is something I look forward to continuing as a PA.
Gaining a better understanding of the PA profession has been one of my goals since first applying. While shadowing over the past year, I observed PAs in multiple specialties furthering their education and continuing to learn more about current healthcare events. It is crucial for a PA to be a self-motivated learner in order to keep up with the evolving healthcare system. To stay updated academically and show improvement in my GPA, I retook anatomy and physiology. These classes contain fundamental knowledge that is essential for a PA to understand. By retaking them, I improved my comprehension of the material and showed my commitment to work hard and put in the necessary effort to become a PA.
My additional shadowing has also proven that those in the PA profession have an unwavering mission to serve others. They advocate for patients at work and for others in the community through volunteering. I too have found a rewarding way to provide assistance to those in my local community. Starting this past December, I began volunteering for the Advocates for Human Rights Center in Minneapolis. Our clients are seeking asylum in this country and our organization provides legal guidance to assist them through the process. As a front desk volunteer, I greet many repeat clients with a warm welcome. It is encouraging to see the same people over the course of multiple weeks making progress to better their lives. Learning more about the hardships of clients while volunteering has taught me to be more empathetic to those I serve at the hospital.
Each calculated step I have taken towards applying to PA school has molded me into a confident reapplicant. I have proven my commitment to becoming a PA by excelling in my current patient care role, improving academically, and expanding my service to the community by volunteering. Learning from all of my additional experiences over the past year, I know I am ready to take on greater responsibility and become a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Claire,
Your opening grabs the reader’s attention right away. It shows your exposure to a physician assistant who shaped your current path. I think it is effective, although I might tighten it up where you can to leave room for more elements to be added to your essay.
In talking about your current work, I think it would be helpful to see you interacting with a patient who motivated you to increase your scope of practice. Can you add a story that shows you in action performing hands-on clinical care while making a connection with a patient? This will reveal more about how you perform your duties and care for patients on a personal level.
Also, in the section about shadowing PAs, I would expand more on what you learned. What did you observe about how the PAs interacted with patients? The attending physicians? You want to show that you understand the profession and know why you will be a good fit in it.
For your conclusion, I would add a reference back to the story in your introduction also.
Best of luck to you.
Celma says
Any advice will be great. Thank you in Advance
He was diagnosed with severe autism. At the time I was an ODP student. It was hard to cope with the demands of his health and course placements, so I gave up from the course after 2 years of training, but during the training I was exposed to a range of surgical procedures on all surgical theatres trust wide, my placement on the children theatres, standing in theatre for several hours during a triple bypass surgery and assisting anaesthetic doctors during a liver transplant made me appreciate the resilience and tenancy required to be a physician associate. Having the opportunity to work alongside and learn from excellent professionals, I could see the focus and adrenaline flowing through the room, it was contagious as the surgical team worked calmly through every complication that arose during the procedure. These was a learning path on the important of teamwork and effective communication and how these can affect patient delivery of care. This display of determination deeply inspired me. I also had the opportunity to work as a phlebotomy for the pre-surgical and antenatal department’s, I was always pushing myself, extending the boundaries of my profession. As a student I would put myself forward to every learning opportunity that arose, as a phlebotomist I was always pushing myself, extending the boundaries of my profession through finding ways of cannulating difficulty patients.
After 5 years he passed away, and loosing a child was by far the hardest pain I ever had to endure. After learning how to deal with the pain of losing a child, I decided to go back to education changing my career path. I did a degree in human biology and infectious diseases, after graduation I had various jobs within medical field, from working as a laboratory technician, to clinical trials and medical scientist, I have developed strong experience in research, patient focused quality of service, I have experience working with GMP/GLP approved sectors currently working as a Qc Scientist testing of raw materials to ensure that each formulation component meets the quality requirements, In-process assays to establish that the manufacturing processes are meeting the standards set out in advance and in accordance with MHRA and FDA standards. Carrying out of 1nal product assays to verify that product meets its specification, stability testing to evaluate the useful shelf life of the product, however never had the fulfilment as this was not the career path I longed for.
The motivation behind me to become a physician associate is the generalised knowledge a PA develops during their career and the ability to work within a speciality, gaining specialist knowledge but the ability to maintain a general approach to medicine. With all my experience in medical field and my desire to continue as a healthcare professional, I believe that physician associate will be a perfect match. Through my healthcare and personal experience, I have grown not only as a professional, but also as an individual. I am a great listener, with a positive can-do attitude and good team player, which are attributes for a physician associate. My determination and perseverance and hard work have taught me how to succeed throughout life. My passion for the medical field and my life experiences have shaped my values and beliefs into the person I am today which has motivated me to be an influential and successful Physician Assistant in future.
Whitney Prosperi says
Celma,
It is obvious through your essay that you have much experience and schooling. I think it would be good to reorder your essay a bit to highlight much of that expertise.
For your opening, I would consider telling a story about when you first encountered the physician assistant role. How did you learn about it? Was it through interacting with a special PA? How did that set you on the path you are now on?
In the next paragraph, describe your clinical skills and medical knowledge, but also describe how you connect with patients.
Also, I think you mean physician assistant instead of physician associate.
For your next paragraph, describe your encounters with PAs, either through your work or shadowing. What have you observed about the profession? What have you learned through watching interactions between PAs and patients and PAs and physicians? What makes this job appealing to you and why are you suited for this? (You touch on these things in your conclusion. Elaborate on these questions some in this paragraph as well.)
Next, if you have a patient care experience that shows you connecting with a patient, tell that story. We need to see you in action providing medical care while showing how you interact with the patient. If you can show your commitment to teamwork, include some comments about that as well.
Add any volunteer experience you have in your essay.
For your conclusion, reference the story in your introduction while reiterating your commitment to the PA path.
Good luck to you.
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Hannah Nesselrodt says
Hello, I would greatly appreciate any feedback I may be able to receive on my personal essay. Thank you!!
Paralyzed with fear, I sat in the waiting room, devastated of the news that my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The upcoming months were difficult emotionally but the care my mom received helped to ease this pain slightly. Her medical team was amazing but one of the most valued people we came into contact with was my mom’s physician assistant (PA), Brooke. She thoroughly monitored my mom’s progress and was actually the person who identified and treated an infection that developed. I recognized firsthand how this profession allowed individuals with a passion for working in healthcare to coordinate this with serving the more personal needs of individuals and build a foundation of trust with their patients.
Through job shadowing in high school, my interest in the healthcare industry was sparked. I soon began working as a patient care assistant in the medical surgical wing at my local hospital. I quickly learned that there was no way to adequately prepare myself for what I would witness and take part in. Each patient, each family, and each illness required different types of care and taught me new lessons. Although everyone has a story, I found that it was the situations such as endless conversations with the elderly and consoling patients who didn’t have a family that left lasting impressions and memories on my view of healthcare. I recognized the importance of actively listening to patients and showing understanding to best address all needs. Healthcare provided me an outlet to be myself and communicate with people and better their life while also exercising my love of science and interest in the human body.
My experiences as a patient, shadowing, and working at a clinic were the avenues by which I truly learned and developed a desire to become a PA. I recognized their ability to assess, diagnose, and prescribe medication as needed. While prevalent in many clinics and specialties, I learned that PA’s are very versatile in their knowledge and skills. I am always provided quality care by my PA during each visit. I trust my PA and know that I can ask any questions I may have about my health or life in general. While shadowing, I gained insight into the training, persistence and responsibilities a PA has. I had the opportunity to work at a dermatology office over the summer where I worked closely with Amber, our PA. I witnessed the way she was able to see patients for a wide range of issues but also performed procedures on her own as well as in conjunction with our doctor. These areas all helped shape my knowledge and understanding of the values and attributes that create an exceptional PA.
I have had many opportunities to participate in community events that have allowed me to develop my communication and teamwork skills. Personally, I serve as one of the head counselors at the Petersburg Regional Youth Camp for two weeks each summer. Being responsible for the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of numerous children/teenagers requires a lot of work and dedication. It is only through teamwork that we are successful in creating and executing a plan full of activities and opportunities for growth. Through this experience, I have learned that it takes different people with multiple skills to be successful with anything in life. My job at the dermatology office helped me to shape my skills professionally. As a receptionist, I was responsible for ensuring that patients, healthcare providers, pharmacies, etc. were all informed and on the same page. More globally, I was able to volunteer at mobile clinics in Lima, Peru. This experience allowed me to gain insight into the issues surrounding availability of healthcare in remote locations with limited resources. I am passionate about bringing healthcare to these underserved areas. All patients require different care and I believe that their needs should be acknowledged and addressed, regardless of location.
I strive to never stop learning, whether that be in academics, my career, or life in general. People never forget the providers that made them feel better, relieved them of their symptoms, or took away their pain. However, people also never forget those that looked deeper than their symptoms. My life is embodied with connections to others through service with my church, clubs in my collegiate career, and friendships through my academics. The PA profession encompasses all of these values together. Through teamwork, communication, dedication, and problem solving, a PA is able to diagnose and treat patients physically, while also having the capability to connect with people more personally. I look forward to the challenge ahead and continuing to better myself daily in as many aspects as possible to prepare myself to become the best PA possible.
Whitney Prosperi says
Your introduction is effective in showing your first exposure to a PA and the impact she had on you. (Also, “devastated by” will sound better.)
You also do a good job of showing how your healthcare journey has evolved.
In the paragraph about shadowing PAs, you may want to describe interactions you witnessed between PA and patient and PA and physician. Also, explain why you are suited for the PA profession.
I would add a story that shows you interacting with a patient. It should show you performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level.
You are off to a great start.
Good luck!