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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
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(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers having worked over seven years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Faith Robinson says
Hello! This is nearing the final draft of my personal statement and I would appreciate any feedback!
“What did you do to my posterior?” my patient drawled. Our 51-50 ambulance transport had been a routine call, but once inside the receiving facility, everything went wrong. The patient yelled, among other things, “I’m an American, Donald Trump cannot hold me here!” and struggled so much against his restraints that he almost flipped our gurney. While the facility was gathering sedation supplies, I distinctly remember holding the gurney steady, trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. The situation was so utterly heartbreaking. The man was mentally ill and no amount of explanation or reason would help him. It was easy to feel hopeless and discouraged in the face of my own inadequacy. Yet, when I came back to the present and the nurse gave the patient a shot of sedatives, he looked up at us and inquired, “What did you do to my posterior?” with such precision of pronunciation that I had to fight back the smile that came to my face. He slumped over, asleep and at peace.
All of my schemas for maturity in the face of adversity were inconsequential in that instant. The choice was no longer humor or pain, but a huge, confusing mixture of both. I knew I wanted to be a competent, optimistic physician assistant (PA) who had high regard for her patient’s dignity. I had always excelled in my studies and the technical aspects of patient care. But, this experience highlighted the necessity of more than this. It required the ability to navigate the uncomfortable mixture of optimism and realism that finds a unique flavor in the medical field.
My path to PA has been a gradual, multi-year process. Growing up, my mom was a nurse who took care of my quadriplegic uncle and autistic brother. Through my family and other volunteer opportunities in the disability community, I became passionate about caring for the disabled. Seeing how my mother used her medical knowledge to serve this community inspired me to pursue a career in medicine. When I learned about PA, it initially appealed to me because of the balance of authoritative medical knowledge and collaborative relationships with physicians. I knew that I wanted to be challenged, both technically and intellectually, in my future career, but I also knew that I wanted to be able to interface with my coworkers and learn from clinicians more experienced than myself. As I progressed through my college coursework and juggled three jobs, upper-level science classes and the honors program, I grew more passionate about science in general and wished to see what being a PA in particular truly entailed.
When I had the opportunity to shadow PAs in a local ER, it was the final confirmation that I was on the correct path. I saw PAs in action, performing exams and assessments autonomously while dynamically collaborating with the MDs. I had the opportunity to watch procedures, including wound suturing, pelvic exams, and abscess drainages, and absolutely loved it. It was amazing to see mature clinicians exemplify the type of PA I want to be in the future. They were professional and competent, but navigated the harder realities of working in healthcare with grace. One of the hardest things I witnessed was a PA telling a 30-year-old woman that a lump on her breast was likely cancer. The woman came that day with the assumption that the lump was some kind of abscess, but left with life-shattering news and an oncology appointment. This experience underscored the way clinicians must precariously navigate optimism and realism. I left that day feeling soberer about what becoming a PA entailed, but excited about what the future would hold.
After working at an interfacility ambulance company as an EMT, I transitioned into being an ophthalmic technician at a practice with seven MDs, which has given me experience in a medical subspecialty while solidifying and further expanding my clinical skills. While working-up a 55-year old woman one day, I recognized the symptoms of a macula-intact retinal detachment, which causes permanent loss of vision. I immediately took action by performing the required diagnostic scans and alerting an MD, and the patient was able to get emergency surgery, which saved her vision. Though PAs do not normally operate within ophthalmology, the experience has been invaluable because it has honed my decision-making skills, introduced me to the inner workings of a medical clinic and placed me in close proximity to a collaborative team of providers.
My journey towards PA has cultivated my natural optimism and competence while teaching me the realities of the difficult aspects of healthcare. I believe that the PA profession’s distinct mix of authoritative medical knowledge, collaboration with physicians, and focus on patient care is the best fit for my unique blend of skills and my desire for a rewarding, challenging career. I am certain that I have the academic, interpersonal, and technical excellence to succeed in PA school, but more importantly, to become a competent, compassionate PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Faith,
Your essay has many solid elements. You’re off to a great start.
Your introduction is effective. You may want to condense it where you can and even consider combining the 1st and 2nd paragraphs.
The story about your discovery of the retina detachment and your description of your work there is effective.
The paragraph where you discuss shadowing is strong. You may want to add in what will make you an effective PA somewhere within this paragraph. (Also, just “sober” not “soberer”)
If you can work in a comment about your desire and ability to collaborate with a healthcare team, do that. Also, if you have any volunteer experience, add that.
Good luck to you!
MacKenzie says
Hi there! This is my second time applying and I really want my person statement to be a knockout this time around. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. This is 4100 characters, so I have some room to change and add things as needed. Thanks in advance!
When I became a certified nursing assistant (CNA), I knew I wanted to help people. Working at Denver Health Hospital has made me realize that I want to be a PA, but it also made me realize that some people need my care more than others. Denver Health is located in the heart of the Denver metro area and is a safety-net institution, meaning that it accepts patients regardless of their ability to pay. While our patient population is quite varied, our location and financial policy means that we have many patients who are afflicted with substance abuse problems, untreated mental health disease, are not well-educated, live below the poverty line, or are homeless. Some people find it very challenging to work with this population because their low compliance and attitude toward health can be frustrating. But, it fulfills me in a way that I can hardly express to help these people who need a little extra time and care.
While I have not had to struggle with the horrible situations that many of my current patients face, I am no stranger to inadequate access to health care. I am from a small, rural town and growing up I was ignorant to what our health care was lacking. The day I became aware of the problem, my friend was playing in a soccer game where he suffered a compound fracture. An ambulance transported him to the local hospital where the medical staff informed his parents that he needed emergency surgery to place metal rods, a procedure the hospital was not prepared to undertake. In order to get the surgery he needed, he would have to travel two hours away to the next nearest hospital. While I was shocked by this news, I was also reminded that my grandma had to do the same weekly trip to receive cancer treatments. That was when I recognized that this small town I loved so much did not provide us with access to adequate healthcare. This was one of many things that inspired me to pursue a career in the medical field. Early in my college career I actually wanted to become a medical doctor (MD) but after some hard introspection, I realized that it was no longer inspiring to me. At the time, I was working full time and going to school, so time had become very valuable to me. I wanted a career that would allow me to spend more of that time with my family and with patients, yet still allow me to leave a long lasting impact on their health. After taking time off from college to become a CNA, I found what I wanted in the physician assistant (PA) career.
Last spring after graduating I sat in the same position I am in now, applying to PA programs. When I did not get in anywhere, of course I was sad, but mostly in the face of that adversity I felt an even greater sense of determination and confidence that I would continue on this path. I used that to fuel my journey into becoming a more well-rounded and prepared candidate. In the past six months I have bolstered my emotional and financial support, undertaken more direct patient care, and increased my knowledge of the medical field and the PA profession in particular by following and interviewing PAs from many different backgrounds in a variety of fields. All of that hard work has left me feeling excited and reinvigorated, but shadowing has been the most motivating experience yet. Being able to experience both the rewarding and difficult parts of the job has only increased my drive to follow the PA career path.
From being a part of a population who was medically under-served to caring for a population that is medically underserved, I have learned a lot about myself and what my purpose is. While I am passionate about helping people, I hold a special place for those who are underserved. Right now, I can do small things to help people such as making them comfortable, listening to their problems, and translating medical jargon into layman’s terms. But as a PA I could do all of that and more. Fulfilling this dream would allow me to leave a larger, longer lasting impact on their health. Since the last application process I have put many hours into becoming a stronger candidate and along the way I fell even more in love with becoming a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
MacKenzie,
Your essay conveys your desire to help underserved people.
In your introduction, I would open with a story about an interaction you have had with the population you serve at your hospital. After that, add some of those comments in about how gratifying that work is. I think this will show you in action and also add some drama to your essay.
I would condense your story about living in a small town where you can. This will leave more room for you to discuss your healthcare journey.
In the part where you discuss why you moved away from pursuing a career as a doctor, I would focus more on why you want to be a PA. Is it the autonomy in treating patients? Ability to switch specialties? Add some of those details in.
In the third paragraph, I would also condense where you can also. Then I would address what you learned from shadowing and working with PAs. Describe what you observed as they interacted with patients and physicians. You want to show that you understand the profession and then tell why you are a good fit for it.
You also want to describe your patient care experience. Show yourself in action while revealing your clinical skills.
If you have any volunteer experience, include that also.
For your conclusion, I would tie back to the compelling story about a patient that you will tell in your introduction.
Good luck to you.
If we can help you further with our essay review service, we are accepting submissions.
Zulhumar Adil says
(Any feedback is appreciated, thank you in advance)
“Click, Click, Click…” I could almost hear the clock clicking from across the room. It was so peaceful that it seemed to me, that I could pretend nothing was happening here. But between the clock and myself, was my destiny that was being determined by this Custom and Border officer that I never planned to meet in my life. “Sir, I’m Uyghur, a Muslim born in China and Sir, I can’t go back…” I told him with my broken English. I started shivering as I thought about being deported from the U.S. and going back to a place where Uyghurs are subjected to ill-treatment and seen as criminals for having a religion. After three long hours, the officer’s determined look started to disappear from his face; despite the rough conversations and refusals, he offered me a chance to step into freedom and opportunities.
As a first-generation immigrant, I struggled. I endured rejections from enrolling in high school my first year, tolerated extreme homesickness and bared language difficulties. I never gave up in the face of a challenge, in fact, I found free English classes to attend to stay busy and productive. I held my optimism through hardships, believing that everything I endure builds upon my future, a future that would pave my way into medicine.
With a slightly intimated but determined dream to pursue, I started my journey by shadowing a primary care physician during my senior year in high school. In my narrow and foreign view, the formula for becoming a medical professional was through hard work and persistence, so I transferred the studying efforts that I obtained from the Chinese school system and applied that here. While it reflected on my grades, it got challenged when I had to interact with the patients: I noticed I was lacking the interpersonal skills as I believed curing is the core of the job. Dr. Brady exposed me to various patients, took me to house visits, and taught me that connecting with the patients and their family members is the key. The joy I received talking with the patients while checking their vital signs showed me the value of intercommunication while observing the special bond between the patient and the doctor made me realize that the humanistic aspect of medicine is what I wanted to go after.
With this foundation in mind, I started exploring a profession that sacrifices their time and effort to bring humanistic care for a patient and physician assistant caught my eye. I wanted to be part of a profession that holds the dignity and safety of patients the top priority and being not so tight in time as physicians, are able to deliver comprehensive care and be leaders in providing community service.
As I started college, I felt more confident that being a physician assistant is the right profession for me. While my love for science was satisfied with the biology courses that strengthened my understanding of the human body, I got to closely examine what it means to serve as a medical professional. As a front desk receptionist at the Center for Healthy Hearts Clinic, I got rewarded by the proximity to our patients by actively interacting and helping them. Besides making or canceling appointments, I offered to help in many ways, which include assisting the patients in applying for the Medicaid Expansion program. For most of our patients, our clinic is their only connection to medical care and with the assistance applying for the M.E. program, many got approved for the benefits they thought they could never get. My dedication to helping was further reinforced when many patients left with teary eyes and expressed how impactful this clinic has been in their lives.
I gained more insight into being a physician assistant when I started working as a patient care technician at Henrico Doctor’s Hospital. My duties went beyond keeping the patient’s hygiene and extended to being an emotional support to many patients and their families. As a PCT, I was a team-player, a reliable helper and “a girl with long hair and a smile”. Patients I encountered taught me that a warm and personable approach can touch lives. Even though I couldn’t deliver medication to relieve their pain, I elevated their sorrow with a non-fading smile and with things like fixing their pillow, finding their TV shows on TV or just taking my time to talk to them and keep them accompanied.
My compassion and responsibility as a clinical staff were further enhanced during these unprecedented times and I didn’t even hesitate when asked to work on the COVID-Positive floor. The hot air I was breathing with a tight Gerson on my face which left a deep red mark didn’t bother me when I went to a patient room to give her a bath. What bothered me was the disappointment and helplessness when bagging a positive patient who lost her life to COVID. But I saw hope. The hope was penetrating from the patient’s eyes when Drew, a PA-C gowned up and went over the discharge instructions and care plans with a recovering patient himself. The hope was in the shape of humanistic care that I was striving to achieve as a physician assistant.
My motivation came from sincere appreciations and my determination fueled by many challenges which include being estranged from my parents during the establishment of “re-education” camps which imprisoned millions of Uyghurs who have relatives abroad. I went from an inferior first-generation immigrant to a volunteer, a caregiver and a leader. In the future, I hope to transform the aptitudes I gained from my experience and touch lives just like the real-life heroes do in hospital settings.
Whitney Prosperi says
Zulhumar,
Your essay shows your growing desire to help patients. I would suggest going through it carefully to cut unnecessary words. This will leave room for you to discuss more of your healthcare journey.
I would add a paragraph that talks about your experience working with or shadowing PAs. What did you observe in their interactions with patients and physicians? You want to show that you understand this profession and that you will be a good fit for it.
I would also describe more of your patient care experience. Share a brief story that shows how you have learned to connect with patients on a personal level.
Also, if you have any volunteer experience, share that.
You will likely need to shorten other sections of your essay to have room for these additions.
Good luck. If we can help you further with our essay review service, we are accepting submissions.
morgan says
hey guys I am just putting my feelers out and doing a draft of what I want to talk about in my PA personal statement. If anyone could give me any feedback it would be appreciated! See below!
Paul Shane Spear said that ” as one person I cannot change the world, but I can change the world of one person.” This quote has had such a profound affect on me knowing this is one of the main reasons I love being a nurse. Being a nurse doesn’t always mean saving the day for every person you meet, sometimes it is just that one person that does one little thing that changes your whole day. Having that when you are sick and vulnerable is worth more than all the jewels in the world.
As I look back through my life going over the decisions I have made that have brought me to this one decision; I find myself finally at rest. Ever since I was old enough to answer the question ” what do you want to be when you grow up”, my answer has been a nurse. I don’t remember a specific moment in time that radically changed me or altered my course to this decision, but I know in my heart it was the right one because I feel it everyday. Now how did I get from being a nurse to wanting to be a physician assistant?
My desire to care for people combined with my drive to challenge and better myself has brought me to applying for the physician assistant program. I grew up impoverished and am the first person in my family to attend college; moreover even graduate with multiple degrees. Living that life made me certain, even as a child, that if I had anything to say about it the rest of my life would be different. Not only would my life be different, but I would be able to give my own family (god willing) everything I was not able to have. In 2012 everything was on course for me; part-time job, full-time student, independence, the works. I had just gotten accepted into the nursing program the summer I found out I was pregnant. I was slated to begin the rest of my life that fall and was not going to let anything stop me. Boy was I unprepared for the amount of dedication that first semester of nursing would require. I had my son three days before my final exam and I failed it. I was immediately removed from the nursing program and given my list of options. I had planned to take come elective courses I would need later while appealing to the nursing committee to apply to the next cohort of the nursing program. When they say God laughs when he hears your plans, they aren’t lying. At the time I was in, what I now identify, as a narcissistic abusive relationship and was forced to put my dreams on hold for the good of my family, or so I thought.
After six grueling, traumatizing months I escaped with my life, my car, and my son and I never looked back. Upon returning home I immediately reapplied to the nursing program as well as a full-time job and was determined to not only make my life better, but my son’s life; all the while fulfilling my ever lasting passion to care for those in need.
Fast forward I am happily married and happily employed as a nurse with 3+ years under my belt and I am ready to expand my knowledge in the hopes that I can reach more people that someone may not have previously taken the time to care for properly. I know a physician assistant degree will give me the tools I need to make a difference for at least one person, but hopefully many.
As Marian Wright Edelman said ” you really can change the world if you care enough.” That motto and this drive for change and challenge is more than enough for me to make this decision to become a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Morgan,
Your strength and tenacity shines throughout your essay. Good for you for pursuing your dreams and not letting anyone stop you.
There are a lot of great parts to your story but I think you’ll need to condense it to leave room for more information about your healthcare journey. Shorten your introduction and then take a paragraph to talk about each of these elements.
Talk about your nursing experience/clinical experience. Give details that show how you care for patients and interact with coworkers. Let us see you in action. If you can share a story where you made a connection with a special patient, do that.
Next, I would discuss your understanding of the PA profession and why it is a good fit for you. Do you like to collaborate with a team? Are you wanting to build relationships with patients? Describe your interaction/shadowing of PAs and what you have learned from them.
If you have any volunteer experience, mention that as well.
You are smart to touch on the grade issue. Just make sure you include what skills you’ve acquired that will help you avoid a similar issue going forward.
For your conclusion, tie that back to your introduction.
Also, in your intro, it’s effect instead of affect.
Good luck to you.
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Morgan, I was reading through your essay (it is very good BTW) and I was just wondering what you’re reasons are for persuing PA vs. NP? How would you answer that if asked during an interview?
Stephen Pasquini PA-C
Sydney Burns says
Hi, I would really love some feedback on the statement I have thus far. I need to change the concluding paragraph, so ignore it for now!
My first experience in the medical realm was accidental: a volunteer position at the Children’s Cancer Center. Not because I thought I would enjoy spending time in medicine, but because I knew I would love being around the kids. I was completely unprepared for the effect this position would have on my future. I learned more about myself from these small children, within the four walls of a hospital room, than I did in 18 years of classroom learning. These children were gifted with a sense of optimism and hope despite the obstacles they were facing. They spoke of the hospital as a playground and of their doctors as their best friends. At the time, I could not understand how their trust in an untenable future could be so powerful, but with more exposure and experience I soon learned that hope was indispensable in their fight for wellness. I yearned to be a part of the medical field, yet found myself timid towards the long path to become a physician.
That fear quickly dissipated when my mother presented me with the path of physician assistant. She had recently become familiar with the career through a client and believed it would be the perfect way for me to enter the medical realm. I began researching the role of a physician assistant and was amazed by their active role in patient contact, in line with responsibilities of a doctor. I am excited to take an active role in health care, instilling hope in others just as I witnessed in my first medical volunteer position. What ignites that excitement to an even greater extent is that I am able to envision this future in just a few short years as a physician assistant.
Throughout my undergraduate years, I have been fortunate to have experiences that allowed me to learn how to implement patient care through physical examinations as well as personal connections. Through my volunteer positions, I have learned just how necessary holistic attention to patients’ physical and personal ailments are in healthcare provision.
The true importance of this balance was brought to light for me during my first few weeks working and volunteering at Helping Hands Clinic. My initial interest in the clinic was sparked by my ability to both immerse myself in the medical field and serve the homeless, low-income, and systemically disadvantaged members of my community, many of whom had been denied access to quality care for the bulk of their lives.
I consider myself fortunate to have received a CNA position at this clinic. Similar to my experience working in the children’s cancer center, my good fortune is rooted in the insight I gained, not only from healthcare professionals, but from the community Helping Hands Clinic fostered. At this clinic I am stripped away from my small bubble of the University of Florida and given the opportunity to interact and make an impact on people who have suffered under systems of inequality that we as healthcare survivors must strive every day to right. Given the current medical climate of COVID-19, our clinic has changed substantially in the last several weeks. Many of our providers have been recruited to work on the front lines to combat the virus, leaving our patients with little to no healthcare resources. I have continued my volunteer efforts with the clinic, providing them with health care resources as well as comforting them during this time of crisis. The experiences I have had over the last few weeks within the clinic, as well as living daily life, have made me aware of the harsh reality of the strain on our health care resources. It is now more important than ever to join the health care realm and provide relief on our primary care practices.
This virus is one characterized by ambiguity, in which we are unable to predict its future effect on the medical realm. As providers on the front lines are contracting the virus themselves, there has never been a greater need for primary care providers. Although we hope the virus will be one of the past when I enter PA school, I am aware of the long lasting effects it will have on our healthcare system. The shorter program of PA school will allow me to be able to mitigate the effects of COVID-19 as soon as possible.
I am excited to learn the intricacies of the human body, to understand the multitudes of complex systems that constitute our physical beings. I am eager for a future involved in our next greatest medical advancements, providing cures a decade ago we never thought possible. Yet what drives my interest in the physician assistant field the most is the ability to take an active role in creating the conditions for hope in someone’s life. Hope that provides healing beyond physical ailments and encourages the power of resilience[
Whitney Prosperi says
Sydney,
I can sense your passion to help people throughout your essay.
I do think you’ll need to condense in places so that you can include some more details about your health care journey.
I would remove your comments about choosing the PA profession because of the shorter path. Instead, I would explain what it is that draws you to it. Is it the autonomy to treat patients? Flexibility to switch specialties? More ability to connect with patients? If you have any experience working with or shadowing PAs I would describe that. Describe interactions that you’ve witnessed between PAs and patients or PAs and physicians. Explain how you are suited to be an effective PA.
I would also add a story that shows you interacting with a patient who motivated you to increase your scope of practice so you can do more for patients. Add a paragraph that shows you in action performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient.
If we can help you further with our essay review service, we are accepting submissions.
Good luck!
Hannah J says
Hello! I am just trying to get some feedback on my essay. Anything would be helpful, thank you!
“Go ahead and take your shoes off for me, I want to get an accurate weight on you.” My request has become so routine that I do not think twice about asking. We walk to the scale and instinctively, I look down and guide the person onto the small platform. A person’s socks are always the first thing I notice. I see a mothers socks, crisp white and obviously clean but I know that she is nervous to see the doctor. I see a little boy’s socks that look like he played outside in them, and all he knows is that he doesn’t feel well. I see a grandfather’s compression socks that he wears to aid in his other conditions, as he is a compliant patient and takes care of himself. I cannot help these people the way they need it in the position I am in. To the people and patients that I have become attached to, I am of no use. I can help them onto a scale and take their blood pressure, but I cannot help them in the ways they need.
I have seen the distressed tube socks of a man coming as a direct admission into the intensive care unit with stroke symptoms, associating the holes with his laboring job, the stress probably causing his stroke. I have been the one washing the feet and putting hospital socks on the young woman who would later become a donor and be remembered with a walk of honor through the hospital. I cannot help these people the way they need it in the position I am in, so I feel helpless.
I know that it should be me that sees your family member, that helps your dad and visits with your grandfather. It is me that should be in the room, but not in the role that I am currently playing. I am no longer comfortable in the background of care and have outgrown my entry level duties. With this being said, I am ready to advance my knowledge and responsibilities in medicine. My experiences have left me longing to be on the forefront of healthcare, which is where I found my interest in becoming a physician assistant. I have not yet been introduced to a profession that encourages lateral mobility across different specialties while upholding such a strong academic background.Shadowing PA’s has heightened my attention to detail and given me the chance to draw connections between what I see and what I know. They have demonstrated what it means to be both competent and compassionate, both qualities I am able to relate to.
I am now a third time applicant that has been given the opportunity to reflect on why I am so determined to pursue this career path. I have worked tirelessly to find new experiences and opportunities not only in healthcare, but in my community as well. Throughout my undergraduate degree I was at the head of campus community involvement, as well as working to impact the community that my school was based in. I worked hard in my academics, athletics, and involvement in campus activities because I wanted to be a rounded individual, not just a stellar academic. I spent my summers working hard in the Flint area, finding time to work multiple jobs because I was determined to be a strong applicant. I worked full-time hours in a night shift position while I studied for the graduate record exam because I couldn’t forfeit the funds, but spending night shifts studying was not productive and needless to say my GRE score suffered. Reaching my final two years of college I realized how hard I needed to work to prove myself, and I did just that. I worked endlessly on my academics and pushed myself to be the student I needed to be for myself and for my future. Looking back, I have needed the time I have taken to grow not only as a student, but as a person.
Since my first application, I have grown academically, increasing my grade point average as well and diving into more intense coursework and succeeding in that. I have made job changes, increasing my levels of responsibility by moving from a telemetry unit to the intensive care unit. I have taken on another position and am currently working as a medical assistant full time in a clinic designed for the underserved and underrepresented community, increasing my workload and patient care experience immensely. With increases in responsibility came an increase in my maturity levels, and I feel confident that my experiences have prepared me to be a high quality PA student and colleague.
If someone were to see my socks, they might be mismatched as I am in a hurry to get to one of my jobs, but I want them to see the time and commitment that I have put into the family clinic and the hospital. I want them to see my determination and commitment to my education. It has become obvious that struggling in my first years of college has given me the opportunity to demonstrate my adaptability. When difficult situations present, I am able to succeed under pressure. I have seen my own qualities in the PA’s that I have shadowed and I feel confident that I will develop as a competent and compassionate healthcare provider. To all of the people I cannot help yet, I just haven’t seen your socks.
Whitney Prosperi says
Hannah,
Your compassion for people comes through your essay.
I would advise you to condense where you can so you can leave room to discuss your healthcare journey.
In discussing your current work, I would avoid saying things such as you’ve “outgrown my entry level duties” and instead show your passion for connecting with patients. Describe your current clinical skills and how you interact with patients as you talk with them. If you have a story you can share about a special patient that inspired you, insert that. Show yourself in action.
You mention shadowing PAs but I think you should expand on that some more. Offer details about your shadowing experiences. What did you learn? How did the PA interact with patients and also physicians? How did this experience affect your interest in the PA path? You want to show you understand the profession and that you are a good fit for it.
If we can help you with our essay review service, please let us know.
I wish you good luck.
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Hannah, I was reading through your essay and felt compelled to comment. I absolutely love your sock metaphors. So descriptive… what a lovely way to start and close your essay. Have you heard from any PA programs this application cycle?
Stephen Pasquini PA-C
Cassidy Lefebvre says
**side note, this is currently 500 characters over and would love insight into where I should try cutting from**
“Could I get some help in here?” These are words I spoke one day, that would eventually serve as an important reminder for me, every day forward. I was scared, it was only my second day as a medical assistant and I was not prepared for this. I immediately popped my head out of the room to grab the attention of my mentor, Linda. “My patient is currently suicidal, can you please come to help me”. The day before, the patient had been sitting in his car, with a gun to his chest. He recalled this situation to me as I sat, still processing his answer after asking the same depression screening question required of me to ask every patient. It was my first day rooming patients on my own and I was becoming proud of my efficiency, my speediness. However, as I faced this situation my stomach dropped and my heartbeat rose to fill my throat.
We had him admitted for evaluation that day. He had left a baseball cap behind and we kept it in case he ever came back to claim it. I think most people forgot about it, but I looked at it every day and was reminded of the duty we have. It was not about being fast at all; it was about intentional presence, building trust with the patient. It became my goal to be approachable, unassuming, and entirely present in every patient interaction. If we can build that relationship, we can offer a haven where people can be honest and vulnerable. We can fill an essential role in people’s lives, one which is left vacant for too many.
This is what my pediatrician, a PA, did for me when I developed generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) in my junior year of college. It was hard for me to understand the uncontrollable energy pent up in my chest, often unexplainable and seemingly unjustifiable. Not only did I find it impossible to understand myself, but furthermore share these feelings with even my loved ones and biggest supporters. Through this adversity, however, my PA acted not only as my ally but also as my liberator. She filled that role for me, the one I could confide in, and she taught me how to manage my GAD, while also helping me forge a new perspective to help navigate my future obstacles. Today, GAD does not define me or hold me back from any achievement. Furthermore, my experience as a patient made me aware of the qualities that define great providers. Her focus on compassion and humility fueled my desire to serve this role and to uphold those great qualities that made such a difference in my own life.
My admiration for the profession was further validated when I began my work with Amy Johnson, PA. Although I was inexperienced, Amy helped cultivate a learning environment, always challenging my critical thinking skills by asking me questions about her patients. She served as a role model for me to be a diligent worker, often working through her lunches to spend more time with patients. Amy was the epitome of someone who was a warrior for her patients. Her actions inspired me to always be over-prepared, inquisitive, and most importantly patient-centered. Her dedication to her work and patients revolutionized what I knew as the “road” to working in medicine. As a single mother of two young girls at home, she provided an incredible example of a woman who sacrificed neither her career goals to provide quality care nor quality time with her family. I was drawn to this avenue that could accommodate all of my aspirations without negotiation. As a PA, she was able to bypass bureaucracies and regulations to give more time to both her patients and her family without sacrificing quality of care. The ability to provide patient-centered care without sacrificing any of my personal goals was an option that greatly appealed to me, especially knowing that I would be working in a role which prioritized collaboration.
Over the next four years I would take advantage of any opportunity to see patients, working during every vacation home from school. I became a “floater” and was able to work at multiple practices with a variety of healthcare providers and patient populations. I had the ability to shadow PAs in different specialties at my hospital, gaining a love for the versatility and lateral mobility of the PA profession. By working in low-income areas in my hometown, I was able to witness some of the challenges families face. For example, when a barefoot toddler was brought in for splinter removal but was really in need of a pair of shoes and a good cleaning. I then moved into pediatrics, where I learned to advocate for patients who were either unable to for themselves or didn’t have the means to. Now, working in Boston alongside globally renowned providers at Brigham and Women’s, I am privileged to have the most brilliant thinkers provide guidance to both myself and their patients. Through my multifaceted experiences, working hand in hand with physician assistants in an array of areas and within diverse populations, I can feel comforted and confident in my strengths and in my ability to serve this vocation.
The tricky part about being successful in a career is not discovering how much you love doing “good”, but finding where your interests and passions will allow you to do your best “good”. While everyone can do good, working as a PA is more than that–it’s about the sense of community, advocating for patients, and collaborating with physicians. Being able to act as an ally to those in need, those similar to myself, the boy with the dirty feet, or the boy wearing the baseball hat, is the most rewarding aspect of the PA profession.
Whitney Prosperi says
Cassidy,
You are off to a very strong start.
As far as knowing where to cut words, I would suggest going through your essay word by word and condensing where you can. This should help some.
You could also shorten the two paragraphs that talk about your childhood PA and the PA Amy. Both of those sections could be tightened to allow room for other elements.
You do a good job of showing your understanding of the role of the PA and how you are suited for it.
Your introduction and conclusion are both very strong.
I would elaborate on your experience where you work in Boston. Explain your clinical skills and responsibilities there. Show yourself in action.
With some polishing, I think your essay is very effective.
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Cassidy, what a gripping opening. I also love your tenacity and the determination you show through your words. Have you heard back from any schools yet?
Stephen Pasquini PA-C
Natalie Wong says
Hi I would like some feedback on my PS 🙂 Thank you! i have only had it edited by friends
Hot and humid, as the sun beat down on an early summer day in rural Honduras, a family of 4 including a grandmother, mother, and two young children started their walk to a neighboring village about eight miles from their home where they heard a clinic would be set up for 4 days. In the rural Honduran community of Manzaragua, a group of twenty college students from Boston University, three college-aged translators, Honduran doctors from the capital city of Tegucigalpa, police, and local community volunteers turned a small school made of adobe with bright colors of yellow, red, and blue into a fully functional medical clinic complete with dental, pharmacy, optometry, gynecology, and child and adult public health education stations. Along with my team from the Global Medical Brigades, we successfully treated 474 patients from Manzaragua and neighboring villages including families, elderly patients and day laborers. Reflecting upon our trip in Honduras, my peers and I realized we got to be a part of 474 strangers lives, sharing in the impact communication and compassion can have on both sides of health care, and appreciating the accessibility we have, hoping that someday everyone will have the same and even more access to health care.
Although I grew up shy and quiet, I always loved learning about people’s lives and each of our similarities and differences. My parents encouraged my brother and I to volunteer in homeless shelters to learn about the effects of helping others. Volunteering in homeless shelters of different sizes and communities throughout high school and college, I interacted with diverse populations and learned an incredible amount about compassion and the importance of listening to what people have to say. Although every shelter was different and offered a multitude of different services, the one service I found stood out the most was the medical clinics that would provide health care to those in need, free of charge. Seeing the teamwork and collaboration of the physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners and nurses who volunteer their time at homeless shelters continues to inspire me to study the human body and to pursue a future in medicine where I can contribute as much as I can and give back to my community as they have.
The United States health care system, like anything, has flaws making it complicated and difficult to access quality health care especially negatively affecting underserved communities as I saw in my experiences. As an EMT, working in the bustling city of Boston, I interacted with and treated many homeless and economically disadvantaged patients who, like a lot of the U.S. population, had to wait until their health problems were at the worse to seek care. I saw the sheer number of patients in need of regular medical care who just could not afford it and the efforts medical providers like those at the Boston Healthcare for the Homeless Program made to provide as much care possible to underserved people in Boston.
As an EMT, I honed the skill of reporting to nurses and PAs. Without a doubt, the PAs were always professional, respectful, and understanding with the diverse patients we brought in to hospitals. I always trusted that my patient was cared for in the hands of the PAs as they always treated them as another human being without disregard, simply assessing and treating without judgement. Like playing in a symphony orchestra, I found being a part of an organized healthcare team inspiring, discovering how important each part of the team is to providing the best possible care. Shadowing PAs in the emergency department at Massachusetts General Hospital and observing the process of treating patients after the prehospital care I was used to allowed me to see the effect a PA has on the health care team. I appreciated being able to observe the responsibilities and versatility PAs have in assessing, diagnosing and creating a treatment plan alone and in collaboration with physicians.
In every opportunity in health care I am involved in, I have always wished I could help and do more for the patient. Especially in my experiences in Honduras where I was only a volunteer and could not really do much for patients alone, but the value of teamwork, compassion, and communication was apparent. Like an American healthcare team, we had our own team of volunteers, translators, dentists and doctors who all had unique responsibilities to do our part and keep the small clinic we set up functional. Although I could not do much more than talk to patients and assist the doctors present, I valued being a part of a team and helping make patients more comfortable and happy as they waited their turn to be seen.
Healthcare is not a right in our country and even less of a right in developing countries like Honduras. Although my family has not experienced the hardships many do in accessing medical care, I believe that care should not be reserved for certain parts of a population, but to all. I have seen how barriers to care can ruin a day, family, and lives. People should not have to walk miles or wait weeks to get basic medical care. As a PA, I want to be a part of the solution to contribute as much as I can in providing quality care to those in need without judgement or discrimination in an environment where patient care, teamwork, and empathy are the priority.
Whitney Prosperi says
Natalie,
Your compassion for people shines throughout your essay. It is evident that you see each patient as an individual and desire to make a difference.
You do a great job of explaining the role of a PA. Your analogy about the orchestra was also effective.
I would add more details about your work/clinical experience. If you have a story that shows you interacting with a special patient, include that.
Your essay may be divided into paragraphs but the upload failed to show all the divisions. I would make sure that each paragraph covers one big idea.
You could condense throughout to leave more room to discuss your medical knowledge.
Good luck.
Sarah says
*Hi there! Note: I am a little over the 5000 character limit. I would really appreciate any recommendations on my essay! Thanks you!*
As a seven-year-old girl who was born in Pakistan but was living in California, I remembered looking out the window from my room to see the sun rise and set behind the snowy mountains every day. I would look out the window for several minutes until the sky became dark blue. As the sun rose (or set) while I was looking at the pink and purple hues of the skies and the majestic mountains, I felt hopeful that each tomorrow would be better than today.
My family and I eventually moved to different cities as my father, who is a physician, wanted to establish his own practice. Here in Lake Charles, Louisiana, swamps and flat lands, rather than mountains, are the norm. My new view from my window was just homes and flowers, nothing to see from afar. But my memories of the mountains were all that I have left which reminded me that those mountains were the products of endurance and perseverance during good and tough times of life.
Traveling annually to my second home in Karachi, Pakistan, to visit my family was typical for me, until I decided to shadow a physician at Dow University, in Karachi, to see what life in a medical field is like in a developing country. On the first day I attended, I was unsure of what to expect. Despite my prior volunteer experience at Christus St. Patrick Hospital in Louisiana, I had so many questions: How will I know if this is the right career for me? Will I be able to fully absorb what it is like to be a physician? Several days later, these questions were answered as I not only shadowed but also sat through lectures with medical students and interacted with them. When the first lecture was over, I asked the students about the physiology of the urinary system. Few students tried to explain it. I still asked more questions until there was only one student left who was able to explain it well enough for me to understand it clearly. At the end of the day, I realized that the qualities of curiosity and enthusiasm are necessary in the medical field.
Experiences like my observation at the Pakistani teaching hospital demonstrated the decisive role that travel has played in my life. In Karachi, despite the many restrictions I had to follow such as not entering the “after surgery” patient area, I enjoyed my time at the hospital. I felt I was able to contribute in helping the students and the physician by getting tasks done through communication, such as informing a nurse about updating a patient’s medicine and informing a patient’s family about the timing of the surgery. The personal satisfaction of being able to be understood through proper communication and of being rewarded after working hard to improve patients’ quality of life: these traits attract me to medicine.
Several months after my Pakistan trip, I returned to shadowing and volunteering at Christus St. Patrick Hospital and Lake Area Hospital. During this time, a man named Mr. Gerard smiled and approached me one day at Lake Area Hospital. Mr. Gerard is a physician whose smile would light up everyone’s moods, including nurses, doctors, and other medical staff members. Almost every Friday, I would see Mr. Gerard running from finishing his charts from his computer to seeing his patients in the pre-operational surgery room. One day, Mr. Gerard was with a 69-year-old patient named Sam (real name and age are withheld) who had low blood pressure. Mr. Gerard and the medical staff rushed to the emergency room. I followed into the room quickly to see if any of the medical staff needed a hand. One of the nurses calmly told me to hand them several items and to check his blood pressure constantly. Within 10 minutes of the emergency moment, the patient passed away from anaphylaxis. While a case like this is rare to hear and to witness, this moment made me realize that the effort of clear communication results in great teamwork, which makes it an obligatory characteristic to have. However, having resilience after encountering a tough case is a crucial asset in not just difficult times, but also in simple, everyday challenges. Mr. Gerard informed the patient’s family and one of them commented “This is the new normal.” Empathy struck me. It made me realize the importance of research for a cure, which is needed now more than ever, not just for anaphylaxis but also for cancers and other diseases.
To Mr. Gerard, the people in Karachi, the staff members, and every patient who has touched my heart remind me of the mountains that I used to see when I was a child. The hard work and motivation to bring optimism into people’s lives and improve their health simultaneously are what brought me to be involved in the medical field. Every day makes me realize that perseverance, maturity, and the stamina are what build hard work into creating an impact on a person’s life. To be able to sincerely help others is a blessing. But, for me, to make a big, positive impact on one’s life is something far greater. Just like the strong, majestic mountains, these give me hope and perseverance, which are more essential than one can imagine.
Whitney Prosperi says
Sarah,
You are a very good storyteller.
There are some strong elements in your essay but I think you will need to condense several sections to allow room to describe more of your journey to the PA profession. I would start with shortening your introduction. Also, somewhere toward the beginning I would describe the moment you decided you wanted to be a PA. Did you work with or shadow a PA? Was there an interaction with a PA that sparked your interest in the field?
Also, share more details about your healthcare journey. Include more information about your work/medical experience. Describe your clinical skills.
Show your understanding of the PA profession as well. Why is this a good fit for you? If you can work in something about your desire to collaborate with a healthcare team that would also be beneficial.
The story about Dr. Gerard is good but will need to be condensed some.
Do you have a brief story you could share that shows your interaction with a special patient? If so, work that in as well.
Good luck to you!
Meg says
*Hi there. This is my first draft and I’m a bit unsure of how well it’ll fare. I tried to take my essay in a different direction, but I’m worried it won’t deliver. I’m also at 4965 characters with this essay so I’m trying to find areas to cut down. I was thinking of cutting out the last paragraph in its entirety. I appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks!*
I was one year old when I first met my father. He moved to America before I was born to start a life here. My parents sacrificed a comfortable life in India to pursue a bright future for my sister and me. They had strong aspirations for us. My parents wanted us to grow up to be independent and successful, but most importantly – the best. I may have grown up in America, but everything about the way I was raised reflected my Indian heritage. This meant that we were part of a small Indian community, where everyone knew everything about each other and competition between families was rampant. My friends were not just my friends- they were also my competition. I grew up in a culture where there only exited two acceptable professions- doctor or engineer. Nothing outside of the lines, and nothing in between.
I grew up knowing I wanted to play an integral role in healthcare. I never had an ‘aha moment’ when I realized I wanted to pursue a career in healthcare; I simply knew. As a child, I played doctor with stuffed animals and mixed soda medicines. The human body was my board game and illnesses were puzzles ready to be solved. Growing up, I took great pride in being a team player. I was a part of my school’s orchestra, tennis team, and various volunteer organizations such as Key Club. Team spirit was something I absorbed heavily and made part of who I am. So when I learned about the physician assistant profession, I was hooked. The aspect of managing patients in a team-based environment across a multitude of specialties appealed to me.
Once I realized I wanted to become a PA, telling my parents of that decision was one of the hardest things I had to do. There was very little traction regarding the physician assistant profession within my community and it was looked down upon because it had the word ‘assistant’ in its title. I hoped to convince my parents that a career as a PA is just as honorable as that of a doctor, but I couldn’t. From being called lazy and called out for taking the ‘easy road’, I was disgraced, discouraged, and put down by my family. For a short period of time, losing their support drove me into burying my career aspirations and I attempted to stick to my parents’ plans for my future. I spent the early parts of my undergraduate career drowning in self-doubt, fear, and disappointment. It was after my freshman year of college that I decided to stop pitying myself. My words were not enough, so I decided to show them with my actions.
The summer after my sophomore year, I scribed at an Internal Medicine private practice. The opportunity to sit with patients one-on-one was my first time exploring healthcare on my own. It was through this experience that I learned that collaboration, teamwork, and compassion were vital in streamlining the care of patients. This was only the start of my healthcare journey; desiring more exposure in healthcare, specifically at an in-patient facility, I joined the Burn Unit at the Wexner Medical Center as a Patient Care Associate. From obtaining vitals, EKGs, and drawing blood, to assisting in wound care and dressing takedowns, my position as a PCA allowed me the privilege to support my patients both physically and emotionally.
Working at the burn unit showed me that healthcare is not glamorous. I witnessed codes, listened to the horrifying stories that brought patients to my unit, and watched them diminish right before my eyes. I struggled to balance being a full-time student, full-time employee, and trying to regain my family’s respect. But it was within the journeys of my patients that I found strength. With every step taken, every tube removed, and every milestone reached, I was encouraged to carry on my fight. Through the exhaustion, sweat, and tears that accompanied this job, I learned how to be accountable, flexible, and assertive- skills that I know will help me thrive as a PA and further prepare me for a career in healthcare.
My time as a Scribe and PCA showed me just how much of a privilege it is to work in healthcare. Seeing professionals work together to support patients and being a part of that team showed me that there is no other profession I desire and am willing to fight for more. From the sacrifices I made with my family and myself to get this far, I know that there is no barrier in the world that stands a chance against me fiercely providing and caring for my patients. If perseverance, determination, and tenacity are required of individuals pursuing a career in the medical field, then I know my career as a physician assistant is attainable.
I cannot speak for my community, but I do know that over the years I earned the respect of my bosses, coworkers, and most importantly- myself. I am proud to say that I want to be a physician assistant because providing comfort and care to a patient and their family is the greatest gift anyone can give, and I would forever be honored to lend a healing hand to those in need.
Whitney Prosperi says
Meg,
The story about your family/community reveals your strength and tenacity. I would leave the basic structure but condense those first three paragraphs significantly to leave room to include more information about yourself.
I would also keep your last paragraph, making sure it ties back to your introduction.
Also, if you have any shadowing/work with PAs, include that.
If you can also elaborate more on your work/clinical experience, do that as well.
Make sure to include any volunteer experiences you have also.
I wish you good luck on your journey.
Anna says
“He’s a flight attendant.” My manager alerted me as I was preparing to triage the next patient. There was a lack of supply on proper PPE, so I put on two masks and two pairs of gloves. Mr. Stowell was a flight attendant who came in as a COVID-19 suspect. His vitals were within the normal range, however, he was constantly coughing and having shortness of breath. The physician assistant (PA) gave me an order to swab him for COVID-19. I was aware of the risks I was taking to care for the patient; however, his well-being came before my own. Throughout the visit, I witnessed the PA’s professionalism, sympathy, and desire to help Mr. Stowell while he was in a vulnerable state. Relating to these characteristics, I yearn that I could provide further medical care for the impacted patients. This pandemic has reinforced my decision to become a PA, as well as emphasizing my desire to help fight on the front lines.
Medical sciences and clinical medicine have always been a major point of interest. Since
high school, I volunteered at hospitals and nursing homes, and was involved with pre-health organizations. Exploring opportunities to shadow multiple disciplines in the healthcare community including PAs, NPs and MDs solidified my career decision. As someone who enjoys functioning in a collaborative environment and has goals of working for the underprivileged community in various specialties, I concluded that the PA profession was the perfect match for me.
I sought every opportunity to expand my knowledge in the PA profession by volunteering, shadowing, gaining leadership and patient care experiences. I was involved with Delta Omega Chi Medical Service Society during my undergraduate years. As president of the organization I collaborated with student leaders to host charity and volunteering events for the underserved. In 2017, after the catastrophic hurricane Harvey, I hosted fundraisers to provide services to families who lost their homes, and distributed donations at rescue shelters. It was an eye-opening experience witnessing a diverse and underprivileged group of individuals seeking medical care. Although I was able to contribute my physical and emotional support, I aspire to provide further clinical care in situations such as these.
Healthcare is more than just medicine; as our country is increasingly becoming more diverse, it is imperative that healthcare providers understand patient background to ensure they provide adequate medical care. Growing up in a family that does not speak fluent English, my parents have always depended on me to communicate with the provider. This first-hand experience is a quality that I take advantage of as a medical assistant at a diverse medical clinic. I recognize the inconvenience of the language barrier which could engender misdiagnoses, often leading to distrust of patients. Understanding the disparity among our community has allowed me to connect with patients on a personal level, which will enhance my ability to treat patients in the future.
In a particular experience, my colleague asked me to talk to a patient because she did not speak English. I took Mrs. Nguyen’s vitals and vividly remember her blood pressure being elevated. Her husband was suffering from stage IV liver cancer. Since finding the illness, he had been in denial and estranging himself, however, it appeared to me that no one else was aware of Mrs. Nguyen’s emotional distress. I received a phone call from her later that afternoon. She expressed her gratitude for allowing her the opportunity to confide in me and asked if she could call again in the future. Hearing the optimism in Mrs. Nguyen’s voice emphasized my desire to become a PA to not only treat patients but to utilize the interpersonal skills I have gained through all my experiences.
Teamwork, time management and communication are the essential skills I have acquired to allow me to effectively work in a medical setting. Medical assisting for a PA who treats patients simultaneously has sharpened my ability to work under pressure; especially having to perform clinical procedures such as, EKGs, respiratory swabs, injections, ANS tests and sudomotor tests. Continuing to practice these clinical skills and medical care will give me the opportunity to excel and serve the underprivileged as a PA.
From high school involvements to exposure in multiple healthcare facilities, my commitment to a life-long career of serving the underprivileged community has strengthened. My broad experiences have honed my interpersonal, teamwork and clinical skills, as well as my ability to work under high-stress environments. When I make an oath to serve and provide care for the people, I am willing to put myself in front of others knowing that I could make a positive impact. As a PA candidate, I offer my unrelenting eagerness to learn and serve the underprivileged, and my ability to relate to a diverse people group at my fullest potential.
Whitney Prosperi says
Anna,
I believe I have commented on your essay before. Am I correct?
Your introduction is effective, showing you in action and revealing your understanding of the PA role.
Some other strong elements are your desire to and experience in volunteering with underserved people. Your passion to help others shines throughout each paragraph. I can see your ambition to connect with patients and collaborate with a healthcare team.
My only suggestion would be to elaborate on any more patient care/work experience that you have.
Good luck!
Anna says
Do you think I should write more about the PA history/profession or is that something the admissions is not looking for?
Anna says
Thank you for reading my essay!
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Anna, no you should not elaborate more on the PA history or profession. We PAs are familiar with this, so please don’t waste your precious space rehashing PA history. Use it instead to tell us about something we don’t know about… you!
Stephen Pasquini PA-C
Joe says
Thank you so much for your help!
Just as he finished shaking hands with his opponents at the end of his football game, a seemingly healthy high school player collapsed. In a state of confusion and vomiting profusely, the athlete kept repeating, “My head! My head!” As the school’s athletic trainer (AT), I sprinted to him along with the team physician and paramedics. I took the lead at the head and determined that we needed to spine board and transfer the athlete to the local hospital. He was airlifted later that night to a regional medical center where he underwent several procedures to relieve pressure on his brain caused by a subdural hematoma. This challenging experience left me wishing I could have done even more. After careful deliberation and research, I became determined to pursue a career as a physician assistant.
Throughout my nine-year career as an AT, I have had the opportunity to work in a variety of settings in diverse locations. The first was at a group of high schools providing care for underserved populations in Texas. Here, I expanded my knowledge of general medical conditions while honing my patient services skills. Being able to work with athletes through all four years allowed me to form strong relationships with them. Building those bonds proved integral to diagnosing and treating them as I quickly realized that my patients were more likely to share their symptoms and concerns when they felt they could trust me. Taking the time to get to know them and letting them know I cared about them personally planted essential seeds of trust. This led to one of my athletes approaching me to talk about symptoms of an illness unrelated to athletics. As a result, I was able to determine that she likely had mononucleosis and referred her to health services where she was treated accordingly.
Next, I served as a rehab assistant and AT for patients in a physical therapy clinic in a small town in Wisconsin. I also worked as a front desk coordinator for the visiting orthopedic physicians and helped a newly hired nurse practitioner become familiar with orthopedic exams and special tests. While working closely with two different PAs, I noticed that some of our skills overlapped, like orthopedic exams. However, my focus was on completing the initial examinations and referring patients to the PAs who had more training and access to ordering diagnostic tools. Close collaboration enabled us to give our patients the best treatment possible. I look forward to collaborating and sharing the new diagnostic and treatment options I learn at school with future colleagues as a PA.
Currently, I have the privilege of being an AT at the college level in Indiana. In this position I am able to work autonomously with my assigned sport while still being able to collaborate with my team of ATs, physicians, physical therapists, and coaches. I have encountered several injuries with unique presentations. In one case, an athlete with sickle cell trait was complaining of chest pain during a hard practice in hot, humid conditions. When cooling did not resolve the issue, I asked a series of open-ended questions in order to dig deeper to get to the issue beyond the symptoms. I concluded that the athlete needed to go to the hospital where he was diagnosed with an acute pneumopericardium. This event further reinforced the importance of insightful qualifying questions, being able to process information quickly, and thinking outside the box. Working at the college level also enabled me to share my passion for medicine as a professor of athletic training and exercise science. Teaching this course allowed me to work on communicating the complexity of the medical field in a way my students would understand, a skill that will be essential when communicating with patients as a PA.
While I have built a strong orthopedic background via a diverse range of experiences and professional growth opportunities, I have a strong desire to expand and diversify my skill set as a PA. My passion and discipline were first demonstrated when I passed a national certification exam on the first attempt for my athletic training credential. These traits were later displayed while taking a full class load of prerequisite classes for PA school while working 50-70 hours a week as an AT. My desire to become a PA, willingness to ask for help, work ethic, and strong time management skills permitted me to overcome challenges while improving on my master’s GPA.
As an Eagle Scout, I promised in our oath, “I will help other people at all times.” This mentality has stuck with me through my work as a Boy Scout, member of my church, initiator of an annual shoe drive at Parkview Health, and AT. As I think back to that moment my football player trusted me during his time of need, I am thankful he has made a full recovery and feel blessed to have been there to help him. I look forward to being able to provide even more help and care to those in need in my future career as a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Joe,
Your essay has many strong elements. The introduction and conclusion are both very effective. You reveal your work experience, ability to connect with patients and passion to collaborate with a team. I especially liked the phrase you used, “planted essential seeds of trust.” You do a good job of showing yourself taking initiative in problem solving with patients.
I can only suggest that you could elaborate some more on your volunteerism and patient care experience. Otherwise, I have no other suggestions. Good job and good luck.
Robyn Y says
Hi! I would appreciate feedback on my personal statement thus far – specifically about whether the theme is too limiting, and if it is too cliche, although I feel very strongly about using this topic.
From my early days, I was taught to value education. “It will unlock doors and opportunities you didn’t have before,” my mentors told me. So, I spent the next 23 years absorbing as much as I could through my roles in life as a medical assistant, family member, consultant, student, and patient. Along the way, I realized my love for patient care, but also discovered something that dually inspired me to become a physician assistant – that when education is shared with patients, it has the power to save, reassure, and empower them. As medicine changes, this becomes even more crucial to advocating for and addressing patient demands. As I continue to learn how to deliver patient care, I strive to harness that power to educate my future patients so they can open those doors, access those opportunities, and be empowered to take charge of their health for themselves.
I first realized the significance of patient education in my grandmother’s ICU ward, where I arrived in a jumble of mixed emotions. What could have caused the tenacious, resilient woman I loved so much to lie lifeless and intubated in an ICU bed? Was it a result of her Parkinson’s Disease (PD)? When the doctor announced that my grandmother had an aneurysm, I was initially confused by the seemingly random diagnosis. But as she continued to explain the unpredictable and unpreventable nature of aneurysms, and how they were unrelated to PD, I exhaled in relief. I was relieved that the culprit was something out of our control, as opposed to the quality of her PD care that we had a hand in. Although my family and I were powerless in changing the situation, it was the doctor’s information and educating us that gave us the reassurance that allowed us to make sense of this incomprehensible situation. That day, I resolved to deliver medical education to my future patients in a way that would make them feel less helpless than I did before.
After my grandmother passed, I grew resentful toward my grandfather because I thought he failed her as a caretaker. He couldn’t even help her take medications on time. But as I spent more time with him, I realized it wasn’t that he was incapable but rather that he was never properly educated on what to expect or how to care for her as her PD progressed. I wondered if her outcome and life quality would have differed if he did have such education. My question was answered while shadowing Marie, a geriatric primary care PA. One of her patients suffered from congestive heart failure (CHF) and frequently entered the emergency room (ER). When Marie began seeing this patient, she taught her patient’s son the importance of timing while properly administering her heart failure medication, and soon, her patient’s symptoms and ER visits ceased. I marveled at how patient education reversed not only her condition but also improved the lives of herself and her family. Her son’s immense gratitude towards Marie made it clear that this type of education to my family would have changed my grandma’s life too. While I’ll never know how exactly her life would have changed, I am even more compelled to educate my patients in hopes that it will better their lives in the same way Marie helped her CHF patient.
Over the years, I built up a sense of injustice towards the healthcare system as I watched my grandmother’s livelihood deteriorate because of her limited access to treatment. She was hindered by her insurance from receiving robust PD care, and without a healthcare provider’s guidance, we did not know how to navigate the system. In my current role as a medical assistant, however, I had the opportunity to step into that very role. I cared for a patient who suffered from psoriasis that impacted her self-confidence but could not get treatment covered by insurance. With the overwhelming sense of wanting to do more, I jumped in. Alongside her PA, I appealed to her insurance company with her medical necessity. When that failed, I mapped out alternative medications and discussed the conditions and benefits of each to ensure she knew her options. The culmination of our efforts brought her to a position where she was equipped to make an informed choice, where I wanted my grandmother to be. And it made all the difference – she ultimately became re-invigorated by life upon receiving a covered alternative. Stepping into a PA’s shoes, I realized that we hold a key to access. While we cannot change insurance policies, advocating and subsequent education about a patient’s options enables them to access treatments and a changed life.
The gaps in my grandmother’s healthcare were bridged by patient education. While I saw and interacted with different providers carrying this out, PAs were particularly attuned and dedicated to addressing their patients’ needs through education, whether access or outcome. It ultimately enables patients to make their own decisions, which is vital because they deserve to know about their condition and how to care for themselves. Knowing, feeling, and seeing the impact of patient education, I am excited to bring my learnings to the forefront of its delivery and strategy which are crucial to a PA’s role. Looking ahead, I hope to be the PA my grandmother needed for my future patients and to carry on shaping the new realm of patient education to come.
Whitney Prosperi says
Robyn,
I think the story about your grandmother is effective. It shows your desire to connect with and provide education for patients. However, you’ll need to condense it where you can so you can leave room to elaborate on your journey to the PA path. After you’ve tightened it up, explain more of your work experience, demonstrating your clinical skills and medical knowledge.
The story about your observations from the geriatric PA, Marie, is powerful. Another strong section is where you explain your advocacy for the patient with psoriasis.
If you have volunteer experience, particularly with an underserved population, include that.
I would soften the sentences where you talk about the “sense of injustice” in the medical industry. This may appear negative. Instead, focus on your passion to advocate for and educate patients.
Good luck to you!
Hadley says
When I hiked to the top of Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park I had so much to look at: beautiful blue skies, immense stratified rock, and bright green grass around winding paths below. While each aspect was fascinating on its own, it was the whole landscape together that was awe inspiring. I take this holistic view in other areas of my life, and this is why I want to be a physician assistant. Being a PA will allow me to continue to look at the big picture with its generalist medical training allowing lateral mobility and focus on preventative medicine.
In the holistic approach I take to my own life, exercise and diet are aspects I have always valued but it wasn’t until I began taking classes in my Exercise Physiology major that I realized how vital they are to living a healthy life beyond just physical fitness. I learned in one class my senior year that adherence to exercise programs increases greatly with physician support and counseling. As a PA I can have the opportunity to be a positive influence and motivate people to attempt to cure their disease by getting to the root of the problem, limiting medication and invasive procedures whenever possible. A wholesome approach will allow me to ensure that I provide patients with complete medical care and address not only specific symptoms, but also consider their lifestyle, diet, and mental well-being.
My time as an EMT has allowed me to practice this well-rounded care approach. As a first responder, I am required to know a little bit of information about a lot of topics. This teaches me to not become too focused on one sign or symptom and instead recognize how intertwined the body systems are, allowing me to provide complete patient care and assessment. Included in patient care is actually tending to the patient in a compassionate way that provides emotional support and comfort. When I arrive on scene, I always keep in mind that this is very likely one of the hardest moments of a patient’s life and it is important to give my full attention with as much sympathy and positivity as possible.
I feel I can be influential in maintaining the well-being of a patient because I try to express positivity in any opportunity. I volunteer at Hospice by sitting with patients and provide companionship or simply a peaceful presence. One day I sat with a woman who could communicate, but only at a basic level and who did not show much emotion. As I helped feed her, I spoke to her about aimless topics and attempted an occasional joke or two. I have a clear picture in my mind of when I was able to get a slight laugh and smile from her, a genuine one that was apparent in her eyes. From that moment on I noticed more openness in her as we talked, and before I left she said to me “thank you for taking the time to actually speak to me, I appreciate your positivity.” I want to continue to have meaningful interactions like these with people while I treat them.
In the medical field, I believe it is essential to remember that people could be facing their greatest challenge in life. As an EMT I see people at the beginning of their hardships and as a Hospice volunteer I see people at the end. Together they provide me with an understanding of the varying degrees of medical care that people require at different stages, causing me to recognize it is always important to consider both the past and the future along with the present. Becoming a PA would allow me to intervene in the middle and complete each part of medical care in the most wholesome way possible. Persistence and hard work in providing the best possible care is, of course, the main concern when providing treatment. However, recognizing a patient as not just vitals and symptoms but as a complete person will allow me to provide them the best care as possible.
Whitney Prosperi says
Hadley,
There are some strong elements to your essay. I would tighten it up where you can and then add in additional content. It would be helpful to show more about how your path to pursuing the PA field developed. Explain some of your work experience. Show your clinical skills and medical knowledge.
Did you work with or shadow a PA? What did you learn about the profession? Why are you a good fit for it? You may want to mention something about your desire to collaborate with a healthcare team here.
You are off to a good start. Good luck!
Madison says
I would really appreciate any recommendations on my essay! Thanks in advance!
When entering college, I had quite the fascination with genetics, always thinking this was the most interesting topic in previous biology classes. Deciding to become a genetics major was due to my curiosity of learning more about how specific phenotypes in society were related to the genetic inheritance of medical conditions. Through my academic career, genetics classes intrigued me to want to continue learning about genetic conditions and focus more on how these appeared in a clinical setting versus what it looked like in terms of modes of inheritance. As college progressed, I continued to want to learn more and more about genetics, becoming absolutely entranced by not only the mechanisms behind a mutation, but the story in front of it, the person who had been personally touched by one of numerous life-changing experiences. As this fascination grew, I began to drift away from wanting to go to medical school and instead wanting to become a genetic counselor. I hadn’t heard much in regards to this profession other than it was up and coming and it involved the field of genetics that I had grown to love. I thought that going into genetic counseling would provide me with a balance between research and patient interactions, as I had loved not only the modes of inheritance I learned in class, but also the people attached to those cases and the uniqueness that each person brought to the story. With this new thought of what I wanted to do, I began to do my research on local genetic counselors that I could shadow. I remember walking into Sparrow Hospital with such enthusiasm, thinking I was about to have the first glimpse at the rest of my life, but that was not exactly what happened. Although I enjoyed this shadowing experience very much, and learned so much about the field of genetic counseling, I didn’t feel as excited about this experience as I had expected. While I had loved the patient interactions I experienced, feeling the meaningfulness of each conversation, I felt as though the job was comprised of too much clerical work, too many meetings, not enough face to face time with patients. As I continued to dwell on the less than amazing thoughts I was having in regards to what I previously thought to be the rest of my life, I began to think what next, if not this, what else did I want to be?
I began to discuss careers with the providers I work with as a medical scribe, but one experience stood out above the rest. Although I work with mostly physicians, there is one physician assistant I worked with, who made the biggest impact on my decision for the future. One thing that I saw with her was that she genuinely cared about patient interactions; taking the time during each office visit to learn about the patient instead of pushing them through a rotating door. These moments made me feel the joy I was searching for, feeling as though I was truly impacting someone’s day and life. My favorite thing was the continuation of care: seeing the same patient for follow-up throughout their progress of a condition. It was amazing to be able to see the progression of a condition go from uncontrolled and being followed closely, to seeing a patient prosper and feel healthy again.
Whitney Prosperi says
Madison,
Your story about deciding on the PA path is fascinating, but I think you should shorten it where you can so you can add in other elements. I would condense that first section then lead into the strong story about you working with the PA.
I would then include a paragraph describing your work experience. Here, display your medical knowledge and clinical skills. If you can include a story showing how you relate to patients describe that. It would be effective to see you in action.
Next, show what you understand about the PA profession and why this is a good fit for you. Do you have any experience shadowing PAs? It’s a good idea to mention your desire to collaborate with a team.
If you have any healthcare experience, detail that. Also, mention any volunteer experience, specifically with an underserved population.
For your conclusion, tie back to your introduction, reiterating why you would make an effective physician assistant. I hope this helps!
Brittan Austin says
-I would appreciate constructive feedback on my personal statement, please and thank you!
Working as a medical assistant and scribe in urgent care feels like the electrical impulsivity of a patient with chronic atrial fibrillation. One moment I may be taking vitals on a ninety-four-year-old patient with a soon-to-be diagnosed pulmonary embolism, and the next I am holding pressure on a hemorrhaging neonatal penis, trying to soothe an anxious mother. Patients’ stories and my ability to help them motivates me through this chaos. While I love my current job, I am choosing to continue my educational journey and become a physician assistant (PA). I want to treat patients and foster relationships that will empower them to better care for their mind and body.
While my education set a strong foundation in the sciences, it was not until I became a patient myself that I decided to pursue human medicine. During the recovery from my second ACL reconstruction, I started to learn about my own anatomy and physiology, spending countless hours rebuilding muscle at the gym and learning how to cope with depression. This journey to wellness helped me learn how to adapt to life’s challenges. My injury left me vulnerable, but through it I learned how to empathize with individuals going through their own trauma, a skill that I will extend to my patients. Yearning for more, I enrolled in Anatomy and Physiology One my last year of college. I enjoyed group study sessions and my hardwork set me on my way to serve as a resource for other students. Hooked on the topic and teaching, I volunteered in the cadaver lab and as a teaching assistant for Anatomy and Physiology One and Anatomy and Physiology Two. I learned how to teach from a variety of angles and to adapt to students’ needs. I will use this teaching experience to help my patients understand their medical conditions.
My interest in working as a PA arose after shadowing a variety of medical professionals in a variety of specialties. For example, I watched a cardiothoracic PA independently harvest a great saphenous with unwavering concentration and attention to detail, then switch gears and became the surgeon’s second set of eyes and hands. The PA routinely checked on the patient and saw him through discharge. Reflecting on the experience, I realized that PAs are an integral part of the healthcare community. They not only serve to increase access to healthcare but also to increase efficiency and the quality of care. The cardiothoracic PA’s ability to reduce the surgeon’s burden and also ensure that the patient was well cared for and adequately informed about his surgery inspired me. I plan to work as PA and hone in on patient relationships, technical skills, and serving as both a leader and a team player.
I discovered that I want to work in underserved communities while interning alongside medical students in Uganda. I met pregnant women who walked miles to the hospital while in labor, many of whom were turned away or sent to the overflow room. I watched women struggle and bleed on the floor with nothing but a garbage bag beneath them. I did what I could to help by timing their contractions, monitoring their vitals, informing nurses of any red flags, and allowing them to squeeze my hand as hard as they wanted. However, I felt frustrated that my training only extended so far. I could not ensure their or their baby’s safety. This experience gave me a sense of purpose to increase my knowledge base in medicine. I use this experience as motivation to work hard to help people in dire medical need. I plan to continue and learn from cultures other than my own throughout my medical career and use culturally appropriate solutions to increase access to quality healthcare.
Much like cardiac arrhythmias, working in the medical field presents many challenges. In my current position, I serve as the pacemaker; I review patient charts, astutely pay attention to the patient’s vitals, presentation and demeanour and report these to the provider before they step into the room. There are many moving pieces, and I must continually communicate the status of each patient with all involved healthcare professionals. I make sure that the patient is always aware of and understands their treatment plan. When there is time between patients, I ask providers what led them to a precise diagnosis and treatment plan. The learning process does not end in the office; in my free time, I educate myself on medical conditions and medications encountered.
My diverse and adaptive experiences have prepared me for the challenges of PA school and the PA profession. I plan to continue to approach every patient with open-mindedness, empathy and patience. I will pay attention to detail and approach every situation with a calm mind to ensure quality care. At the end of the day, I want to be a PA in order to cultivate the patient’s connection with their mind and body and continue to increase access to quality healthcare. I am eager to aid in the healing of patients for years to come.
Whitney Prosperi says
You do a great job showing your understanding of the PA field. You also reveal your commitment to working with the underserved and collaborating with a healthcare team.
I would share a story about a special patient that shows you in action.
Also, I would include more detail about your work experience.
You are off to a strong start. Good luck to you.
Caroline Lucchini says
Hello! I’d really appreciate any feedback you could give on my personal statement.
Science is the process that takes us from confusion to understanding in a manner that’s precise, predictive and reliable. It’s the tool I use to understand the world around me. It provides logic, sense, and order in what might otherwise seem chaotic. It may not solve all of our problems, but it usually shows us the path to the solutions.
My father became sick during my last year of high school. When he first discovered his conditions, he was slowly preparing my life if the worst happened to him. My father has been diagnosed with lipoma cancer, nash syndrome, arterial HTN, irregular heartbeat, anxiety/depression, and had a minor stroke. Today with science and research, I have educated myself about each problem, and have learned why unfortunately one condition can’t be treated due to the others.
My father’s medical circumstances have become one the reasons why I would like to enhance my knowledge in medicine by becoming physician assistant (PA). It would be a privilege to use that title and platform to research, learn, and discover the “how’s” and “why’s” of the world of medicine. It would allow me to help patients that not only have easy access to medical care but help especially those that don’t. My father has been blessed to have and afford healthcare, but my heart longs to treat those that don’t have the same privilege as my father.
In March of 2019, I attended my first medical missions’ trip to Honduras, where I was blessed to serve the underserved population that live in the city of Roatan. January of 2020, I traveled there again to serve the people of “Oak Ridge”. Seeing new and familiar faces return to the clinic was rewarding. It was extremely humbling to see how happy and grateful the people were, yet they didn’t have much. It brings me joy that I was able to serve them medically by examining their eyes, giving out glasses, watching them have cataract surgery, and then seeing a big smile on their faces because they have regained vision. I’ve learned that even though I don’t have the same platform, knowledge, and authority as a PA or physician, I can still treat, aid, and assist my patients. However, my heart yearns to be able to do more for them.
As an ophthalmology tech, I truly enjoy the blend of my independent responsibilities and collaborative work with the team. When doing general workup and prep before dilating, it’s my job to see anything amiss that might be occluded after dilation. Anytime I get a situation that I don’t know how to properly deal with, I consult with the doctor and he explains the proper steps to take. The doctor knows I will find an appropriate time later to pepper him with questions about the case and outcomes. He recognizes my passion and aptitudes for remembering and understanding medical and scientific terminology and processes. I see being a PA as full expression of this kind of teamwork.
I want to be an advocate for the voiceless, the caregiver for the forgotten, and the listener to those who are hurting. Too many people living in underserved areas are being passed over for basic medical services. Becoming a PA is my chance to do more than what I am currently limited to do. I want science to shine through my profession, that way I can take confusion and turn it into something understandable.
Whitney Prosperi says
Caroline,
You do a good job of showing your desire to work with underserved patients. You also highlight your commitment to collaboration with a healthcare team.
I would tighten up your introduction where you can. This should leave room to add in some of the following elements. If you have any experience shadowing PAs, include that. Also, you could expand on your patient care experience/clinical skills. If you have a story about a special patient, either at the clinic or on the mission field, briefly describe that.
You are off to a good start.
Good luck!
julie says
I thought I could make it stop by digging my nails into my palm and contracting my bicep. “Hey, rockstar, you’ve got some big muscles but can you relax them for me?” Lily requested as she swiped an alcohol swab across my arm. Nine-year-old me was not very fond of shots, but I knew Lily would let me take my pick of stickers from the corkboard afterwards so I listened. I always thought my pediatrician was a cool doctor who just liked to go by her first name until I was old enough to learn that Lily was the physician assistant, not the doctor. My interest in becoming a PA was not set on by some flash of inspiration but because I developed a passion for the work Lily does. Lily always talked directly to me; she addressed me by name, would ask what was making me feel bad, and would tell my mom that she wants to hear me tell it myself, not the kind of attention a kid would usually get from an adult. Until I was eighteen, Lily gave me a place to be heard and a break from my tumultuous home life. (1) Since then, I have always strived to make every patient feel how she made me feel: understood, supported, and important.
(YES or NO for the whole paragraph? if yes, what should i change? i dont feel great about this paragraph) During my undergraduate, I joined a campus organization that held an annual student-run free health clinic. My first year participating was humbling and inspired me to help coordinate the event in the following years. In doing so, I learned several valuable lessons. Firstly, being a part of the events coordination team taught me how to be accountable for my own assignment and when to ask for help. Secondly, the several hundred names on the sign-in sheet at the end of the day made the healthcare deficit in the local medically underserved population tangible. Some of the patients I talked to expressed that the volunteer physician assistants and medical students on site were the first they had seen in years. I believe that, as a PA, I can fill an important gap in healthcare.
My first patient care experience was as a health scholar at St. Joseph’s Hospital of Orange. My favorite rotation was in the emergency department. I often shuffled back and forth between triage, the ED floor, and the cath lab rounding on patients, assisting with minor procedures, and coordinating discharges. Of all the providers I worked closely with, none stood out to me as much as Maurice, a PA in the emergency department. Maurice was a strong believer in patient education and preventive medicine. I would frequently witness him in lengthy discussions with his patients to reinforce why their prescriptions are necessary and to address their concerns of side effects and potential contraindications. Having previously worked as a pharmacy technician for a year, I know that it is outrageously common for patients to be unaware of what medications they are taking and what they are for. I believe that understanding these problems and proactively addressing them through patient education could greatly improve both the quality of life and quality of care for our patients. As a PA, I would be able to carry out an important role in preventive medicine as part of a patient’s team of care.
During my time shadowing Larry Rosen, a primary care physician assistant, I admired how much he knew about each patient’s life. He had been seeing some patients for almost 20 years at that point, and they wanted his input whether it was a cancer diagnosis or a career change. Patients scheduling their appointments over the phone frequently requested to see him only, and their annual physicals resembled old friends catching up. Larry’s relationships with his patients were built by a trust for his consistent quality of care over the years. When I started working as a medical assistant in family medicine, I quickly learned the things that constitute quality care; it is not knowing the answer to all of the patient’s questions or regurgitating medical expertise but listening to their concerns earnestly and following up as promised. When patients started to remember me by name or asked for me when they called the office, I knew that I was doing something right.
My healthcare experiences thus far have laid a solid foundation for a physician assistant program. As a pharmacy technician, I not only learned to fill prescriptions quickly and accurately but also to work as a team and use effective communication. As a health scholar, I learned not only to bag the deceased and change a bedpan but also to show compassion and be considerate of personal preferences. As a medical assistant, I not only learned to administer injections and change dressings but also to escalate a patient’s concerns and to get creative with solutions. As an occupational therapy aide, I not only learned to create home exercise plans and fabricate custom splints but also to greet patients with a smile and to make them feel welcome. I believe these skills that I have developed will help make me as good of a physician assistant as Lily, Maurice, and Larry.
Whitney Prosperi says
Julie,
Your introduction is very effective in showing the spark that ignited your passion to become a PA. In fact, throughout the essay, you do a great job of showing the role of PAs in connecting with patients. You may want to mention the collaboration of PAs and your commitment to partner with a healthcare team.
I think that paragraph you referenced shows how you came to understand you could be utilized in an underserved population. I would leave it but tighten it up where you can. (Also, just use the words “first” and “second” instead of “firstly” and “secondly.”)
If you have a story about a special patient you have encountered, I would include that.
I’d go through your essay word by word but I think you are off to a very strong start.
Mikayla says
Hello! I’d really appreciate any feedback you could give on my personal statement. This is about my 5th rewrite and 3rd revision.
I grew up across the street from a park with the most amazing playground. But to me and my friends, it wasn’t just any old playground; it was our castle, our rocket ship, our boat, and our dream house. We would spend hours at the park playing “wizards” or navigating through space and the rough seas. When the Ice Cream Man came by, we would pool together our allowances and always buy the same things – sour straws and jumbo pixie sticks. Then we’d bring them back to the playground and sit in our separate rooms in our “dream house” and tell stories and laugh until our stomachs hurt. We would only leave when our dads whistled from across the street to signify that dinner was ready.
One day, when I looked out of my living room window, I no longer saw our castle. I couldn’t find our rocket ship, our boat, or our dream house. All I saw was a dingy, old playground made of fading blue plastic. A stick was just a stick; it was no longer a magical wand. The rocks were just rocks; they were no longer a collective pool of hot lava. For years, I longed to find a resemblance of that inspiration and imagination that the playground gave me. It wasn’t until I began my journey to creating a career in health care that I had finally found it.
During the past two years that I have been directly involved in health care, the most rewarding position I held was as a volunteer at the Stony Brook University Hospital in the Pediatrics/Child Life unit. As a volunteer, I saw kids come and go as their conditions changed, but those with more severe cases were frequenters of the playroom. These are the children that I could foster a relationship with. There was one child that I especially connected with; his name is Karmelo.
Karmelo is a four-year-old boy who became a temporary resident of the 11th floor of the SBU hospital because he was in a car accident. When I first saw Karmelo, he was very quiet and mostly kept to himself. I could tell he was hurting, whether as a result of his personal injuries or the strife in his family, and it broke my heart. I slowly tried to help him open up by bringing toys to his room and offering to play with him when he couldn’t come to the playroom. I began to build a relationship with Karmelo and I was eventually able to see his true personality flourish. When he was able, we would spend hours in the playroom drawing, playing board games or with action figures, and just talking. I knew how important it was to try and provide a safe haven for him away from all of his treatments and the hospital equipment. I believe that this is why we formed such a close relationship.
When it was time for Karmelo to go home, it was very bittersweet. I was beyond excited for him to be feeling and looking so much better than when I first met him, hoping that I played even a small part in his recovery. But, I was going to miss my friend. From him, I learned that in order to heal, it is true that one must be treated with medicine, but it is the personal care that a patient receives that truly makes a difference in their recovery.
Karmelo helped me to understand that it is my life’s purpose to reignite the innocence and vitality in those children who seem to have lost them because of an illness or injury. I know what it’s like to lose the sense of imagination that characterizes youth, so I will do all that I can to ensure that no child experiences this in an untimely manner due to poor health. I want them to see the castle and the rocket ship when they look at a playground. I want them to laugh with their friends until their stomachs hurt. I want to help them be able to live their childhood to the fullest.
From my experiences in health care, I have learned that a patient’s recovery is facilitated by not only the application of medicine, but by the provider’s realization that the patient must also be assessed holistically. It is crucial for a provider to consider their patient’s mental, emotional, and social health, rather than just physical symptoms, when deciding on the best course of treatment. Additionally, I now know the importance of collaborating with and learning from other health care professionals. The benefits of a team-oriented approach to patient care transcend the long-standing, outdated methodology of medicine. It empowers every member of the health care team and ensures that the patient receives the best care possible.
I have always felt that a career in health care is one of the most noble professions you can pursue. It takes a selfless, driven, intelligent team-player to be able to build a career in such a demanding field, and I feel that I am just that type of person. It is my goal to spend my life caring and advocating for children in a health care setting. However, I will not do so at the expense of compassion, empathy, or my personal attention. Because of this, I know that caring for children in the precise role of a pediatric PA is what I am meant to do.
Whitney Prosperi says
Mikayla,
The story about your volunteer work with Karmelo shows your ability and desire to connect with patients.
Also, the section where you talk about a team-approach to healthcare reveals your commitment to collaboration.
Could you condense your introduction a bit to allow more space later in your essay? (Also, “ice cream” should be lower case.) I think it would be strengthened by the addition of what you’ve learned by observing/shadowing a PA. I would also include a paragraph or two detailing your work experience and clinical skills.
Good luck to you.
Amel C says
Born in a country riddled with religious persecution and poverty of the highest degree, my parents’ decision to flee Bosnia and Herzegovina was one that I will never stop being thankful for. As a refugee of war, many things changed when my family and I came to the United States. Coming to a new country can present a culture shock in its own, but when you couple that with the quiet, rural life that we had been so accustomed to back home, it truly felt as if our world had been turned upside down. My parents worked endlessly in order to keep food on the table, and my siblings and I did all we could to try and show our parents that the move was worth it. The transition was rocky at first, but we slowly became more comfortable with our new lives.
As the years passed, my family and I assimilated to life in the US. We had learned the language and, off the back of my parents’ relentless work ethic, we had prospered. It would have been easy to think that our lives were set and we would never experience the turmoil that we faced back home, but that was simply not the case. It seemed that as soon as we got comfortable, life threw us a curveball. My father, who I had seen as invincible, suffered a heart attack. He was treated primarily by a cardiology physician assistant who wound up being my family’s saving grace. She was very attentive to all of our needs and spent a great amount of time calming our nerves when it was clear that there were many other things she could be doing. She brought comfort to our family during a scary time and it is impossible to convey just how impactful that was. About a year later, my mother’s appendix burst and she became septic. She was treated by a gastroenterology physician assistant who treated her with the same care that my father received from his PA. I witnessed first-hand how impactful establishing a trusting relationship with patients can be, and it is something that I value greatly to this day.
Shortly after I started college, I was involved in an accident that left me with a number of physical injuries and a crippling depression that soon began to overtake my entire life, and my transcript reflected this entirely. After spending the next two years fighting to find purpose, I had an epiphany. Why was I letting the sacrifices my parents made go to waste? I began to take pride in my work and I had a new outlook on life. My grades began to flourish, my physical and mental health was improving drastically, and I had a newfound desire to pursue a career in medicine. Working as a behavioral therapist and physical therapy technician, I was able to help diagnose and treat a wide array of mental and physical illnesses. As a behavioral therapist, I learned how to use empirically supported methods to treat differing severities of autism, while improving my ability to connect and build rapport with patients of all sorts. As a physical therapy technician, I learned proper body mechanics and the anatomical and physiological functions of much of the body. The privilege of working alongside and learning from experts in these fields has directly contributed to my success in classes such as biomechanics, anatomy and physiology, and abnormal psychology, and it will undoubtedly prove useful for future endeavors.
This exposure to different aspects of healthcare provided the framework for my ever-growing interest in learning all I can about medicine. I began taking classes not necessary for my degree, such as human physiology, organic chemistry, biochemistry, and microbiology. Each of these dove into different aspects of medicine, and my thirst for knowledge began to grow rampant. I achieved outstanding grades in each course, all while working nearly full time. I began shadowing doctors, physician assistants, and nurse practitioners in an effort to discern the differences between each field and find the one that coincided most with my interests. Very quickly I realized just how perfect the physician assistant field was for me. It provided an opportunity to work alongside and learn from physicians that devoted their lives to a certain field, all while allowing the flexibility to experience other fields and settings. Apart from flexibility, physician assistants are often on the front line of patient care. They are able to build rapport with patients and establish trusting relationships with those that come to them in their time of need, which is truly the greatest privilege of all.
My story is one filled with many twists and turns, and it is impossible to convey them all within the confines of text. I have spent a large portion of my life committed to furthering my knowledge and experience in medicine so that I may one day become an excellent physician assistant. I am fully devoted to being a lifelong learner and someone that I would entrust with the health of my very own parents.
Whitney Prosperi says
Amel,
There are many strong elements to your essay. Your family’s story and how you relate it to your interest in medicine is impactful.
You also show that you have a good understanding of the PA field and why you would be a good fit in it. If you have any experience shadowing PAs, include that.
Also, elaborate some more on your clinical skills and patient care experience. If there is a special patient/interaction that you could describe, include that.
You are wise to address the season of lower grades. I would then include a sentence or two that explains what you learned that will help you avoid a similar issue in the future.
If you have any volunteerism experience, include that as well.
I wish you good luck in the process.