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Single Edit One-on-one Service Supplemental Essays
Your success is our passion. (See just some of our 100's of testimonials and comments below). We are ready to help. Our current PA school essay editing service status (27th April 2024): Accepting New Submissions
(Photo: Me circa 1987, just thinking about my future PA School Essay)
- Are you struggling to write your physician assistant personal statement?
- Are you out of ideas, or just need a second opinion?
- Do you want an essay that expresses who you truly are and grabs the reader's attention in the required 5,000-character limit?
We are here to help perfect your PA school essay
I have written countless times on this blog about the importance of your personal statement in the PA school application process. Beyond the well-established metrics (GPA, HCE/PCE hours, requisite coursework, etc.), the personal statement is the most crucial aspect of your application.
This is your time to express yourself, show your creativity, skills, and background, and make a memorable impression in seconds. This will be your only chance, so you must get it right the first time.
For some time, I had been dreaming about starting a physician assistant personal statement collaborative.
A place where PA school applicants like yourself can post their PA school essays and receive honest, constructive feedback followed by an acceptance letter to the PA school of your choice!
I have been reviewing a ton of essays recently, so many in fact that I can no longer do this on my own.
To solve this problem, I have assembled a team of professional writers, editors, and PA school admissions specialists who worked to revise and perfect my PA school application essay.
Beth Eakman has taught college writing and worked as a professional writer and editor since the late 1990s. Her projects have involved a wide range of disciplines and media, from editing technical reports to scriptwriting for the PBS Kids show Super Why! Her writing has appeared in publications including Brain, Child Magazine, New York Family Magazine, and Austin Family Magazine. Beth lives with her family just outside Austin, Texas. She is driven to help each client tell the best version of their story and achieve their dream of becoming a physician assistant.
Deanna Matzen is an author with articles featured in Earth Letter, Health Beats, Northwest Science & Technology, and the Transactions of the American Fisheries Society. With an early career in environmental science, she developed a solid foundation in technical writing. Her communication skills were further honed by producing and editing content for a non-profit website, blog, and quarterly journal. Inspired to extend her craft, she obtained a certificate in literary fiction, which she draws on to build vibrant scenes that bring stories to life. Deanna loves working with pre-PAs who are on the cusp of new beginnings to find their unique story and tell it confidently.
Carly Hallman is a professional writer and editor with a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric (summa cum laude) from St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas. She has worked as a curriculum developer, English teacher, and study abroad coordinator in Beijing, China, where she moved in 2011. In college, she was a Gilman Scholar and worked as a staff editor for her university's academic journal. Her first novel, Year of the Goose, was published in 2015, and her first memoir is forthcoming from Little A Books. Her essays and creative writing have appeared in The L.A. Review of Books, The Guardian, LitHub, and Identity Theory, among other publications.
Read more client testimonials or purchase a revision
We Work as a Team
Our team of professional editors is wonderful at cutting out the "fluff" that makes an essay lose focus and sets people over the 5,000-character limit. Their advice is always spot-on.
Sue, Sarah, and Carly are amazingly creative writers who will take your "ordinary" and turn it into entirely extraordinary.
I mean it when I say this service is one-of-a-kind! We have spent countless hours interviewing PA School admissions directors and faculty from across the country to find out exactly what it is they are looking for in your personal statement.
We even wrote a book about it.
To collaborate, we use Google Drive. Google Drive is free, has an intuitive interface with integrated live comments in the sidebar, the ability to have a real-time chat, to collaborate effortlessly, and to compare, revise, or restore revisions on the fly. Google Drive also has an excellent mobile app that will allow you to make edits on the go!
Our team has worked with hundreds of PA school applicants within the Google Drive environment, and we have had enormous success.
The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
I have set up two options that I hope will offer everyone a chance to participate:
- One-of-a-kind, confidential, paid personal statement review service
- A collaborative, free one (in the comments section)
Private, One-On-One Personal Statement Review Service
If you are interested in the paid service, you may choose your plan below.
The Personal Statement Review Service is:
- Behind closed doors within a private, secure network using Google Drive.
- It is completely interactive, meaning we will be able to provide real-time comments and corrections using the Google Drive interface.
- Telephone consultations are included with all edits above the single edit level. It’s often hard to communicate exactly what you want hundreds of miles away; for this reason, we offer the option to edit right along with us over the telephone while sharing in real-time over Google Drive. This is an option available to all our paid clients who purchase above the single edit level.
- We provide both revision and editing of all essays. What’s the difference? See below
- We will provide feedback, advice, and help with brainstorming and topic creation if you would like.
- We will help with a “final touch-up” before the big day, just in case your essay needs a few minor changes.
Why Choose Our Service?
- It’s not our opinion that matters. We have gone the extra step and personally interviewed PA school administrators from across the US to find out exactly what they think makes a personal statement exceptional.
- We are a team of PAs and professional writers, having worked over ten years with PA school applicants like yourself, providing countless hours of one-on-one editing and revision.
- Our clients receive interviews, and many go on to receive acceptance into their PA School of choice.
Because we always give 100%, we will open the essay collaborative for a limited number of applicants each month and then close this depending on the amount of editing that needs to be done and the time that is available.
Our goal is not quantity but quality. We want only serious applicants who are serious about getting into PA school.
Writing is not a tool like a piece of software but more like how a photograph can capture your mood. It’s more like art. The process of developing a unique, memorable personal statement is time-intensive, and it takes hours to compose, edit, finalize, and personalize an essay.
As Antoinette Bosco once said:
And this is why I am charging for this service. We love helping people find stories that define their lives, and we love helping individuals who have the passion to achieve their dreams. It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when an applicant writes back to tell me they were accepted into PA school.
There is no price tag I can place on this; it’s the feeling we get when we help another human being. It’s just like providing health care. But this takes time.
Interested? Choose your plan below.
Read more client testimonials.
Free Personal Statement Review
Post your essay in the comments section for a free critique
We want to make this opportunity available to everyone who would like help with their essay, and that is why we are offering free, limited feedback on the blog.
You post your essay in the comments section, and you will get our critique. It is that easy. We will try to give feedback to every single person who posts their COMPLETE essay here on this blog post in the comments section.
Also, by posting your comment, we reserve the right to use your essay.
We will provide feedback on essays that are complete and fit the CASPA requirements (View CASPA requirements here). We will not provide feedback on partial essays or review opening or closing statements. Your essay will be on a public platform, which has both its benefits and some obvious drawbacks. The feedback is limited, but we will try to help in any way we can.
Note: Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, I will delete your stuff. Otherwise, have fun, and thanks for adding to the conversation! And this should go without saying: if you feel the need to plagiarize someone else’s content, you do not deserve to go to PA school.
* Also, depending on the time of year, it may take me several weeks to reply!
We love working with PA school applicants, but don't just take our word for it!
How to submit your essay for the paid service
If you are serious and would like to have real, focused, and personalized help writing your personal statement, please choose your level of service and submit your payment below.
After you have submitted your payment, you will be redirected to the submissions page, where you can send us your essay as well as any special instructions. We will contact you immediately upon receipt of your payment and essay so we may begin work right away.
Pricing is as follows:
Choose your plan, then click "Buy Now" to submit your essay, and we will get started right away!
Every purchase includes a FREE digital copy of our new 100-page eBook, How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement, Our 101 PA School Admission Essays e-book, the expert panel audiobook, and companion workbook. This is a $65 value included for free with your purchase.
All credit card payments are processed via PayPal over a secure HTTPS server. Once your payment is processed, you will be immediately redirected back to the essay submission page. There, you will submit your essay along with some biographical info and all suggestions or comments you choose to provide. You will receive immediate confirmation that your essay has been securely transmitted as well as your personal copy of "How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement." Contact [email protected] if you have any questions, comments, or problems - I am available 24/7.
The hourly service includes your original edit and one-on-one time over Google Drive. It is simple to add more time if necessary, but you may be surprised at what a difference just a single edit can make. We find our four-hour service to be the most effective in terms of time for follow-up and full collaboration. We are open to reduced-rate add-ons to suit your individual needs.
Writing and Revision
All writing benefits from rewriting when done well.
When you are in the process of writing a draft of an essay, you should be thinking first about revision, not editing.
What’s the difference?
Revision refers to the substantial changing of text. For example, it may include re-organizing ideas and paragraphs, providing additional examples or information, and rewriting a conclusion for clarity.
Editing, on the other hand, refers to correcting mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
On all submissions, we perform both revision and editing.
How to submit your PA school essay for the FREE editing service
Follow the rules above and get to work below in the comments section. I look forward to reading all your essay submissions.
- Stephen Pasquini PA-C
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Anusha Mehta says
Hi,
Thank you for providing this comment section as a means to offer advice. Here is my current draft of my personal statement.
“Our role as health professionals is not just to treat our patients but to sound the alarm and advocate for change,” emphasizing that our societal position gives our voice great credibility. As I sit in the 200-person lecture hall, twiddling my pen, my eyes shot up to see Mary Bassett utter those words with great assertion. I had yet to find a purpose; something that triggered my drive, so that moment was a stepping stone.
I immediately looked into the program the class was associated with, Health Promotion and Health Equity, which exposed me to the alarming health disparities and enlightened me on ways to initiate change to bridge that gap; by considering the social determinants of health, and how they intersect with a person’s identity, exhibit cultural humility by engaging in continuous self-evaluation, acknowledging bias, and fixing power imbalances. All pertinent in the role of a Physician Assistant.
As I began to dive into those courses, I asked myself an important question. “In what career can I use this knowledge?” I researched online, spoke to peers who worked in healthcare, and shadowed different fields. It wasn’t until I started working as a Patient Care Technician, that PA peaked my interest. Specifically, I was caring for an incarcerated patient, who had a chronic condition forcing him in and out of the hospital. During one of his hospitalizations, he became agitated with the care team because of the lack of transparency about the treatment. It escalated to the point where the PA was called in. With full autonomy, rather than asserting authority, she engaged in an open conversation with the patient to resolve the issue, acknowledging his expertise on his condition, erasing the power imbalance. She, then, interacted with the nurses and other healthcare providers on his team to construct a more communicative, and flexible plan. The opportunity to observe as the PA not only demonstrated cultural humility but also conflict management and effective communication to work together on a multidisciplinary team was eye-opening. Her ability to utilize the social determinants of health, as she put aside her own identity and role in the hospital to care for the patient, drew me towards the PA role, in hopes to mimic this with my own patients and clinical team.
As I continued to care for patients, I kept her techniques in mind. In particular, when I took care of a patient who had come in with severe alcohol withdrawal symptoms and liver failure, I went into her room to take her vitals during which she became delusional and combative. Rather than assuming I could handle it efficiently on my own, I immediately reached out to the other nurses on my floor for assistance. In parallel with the PA, we pooled together our knowledge of the patient and developed a strategy to calm her down. I elicited a conversation with her to understand where her delusional thoughts were coming from and redirect her from the violent behavior, taking away focus from her disease, eventually allowing me to safely take her vitals. I was able to demonstrate humility towards the patient, focusing on both her visible medical condition and the social determinants that influenced it. As I continued working with the PA and others, I came across many instances of their ability to draw upon their unique perspective due to their versatility and autonomy in the medical setting, their ability to create meaningful patient relationships and work coherently with a team. That solidified my decision to pursue PA school.
As I transitioned into my role as Behavioral Technician working with kids with Autism, my responsibilities allowed me to work with clients and their families that I hadn’t been exposed to, which aided my cognizance of the role that cultural humility can play in a successful client-clinician relationship. I would reflect on my bias and identity as a person without a disability before working with any client, to elicit empathy and autonomy towards them. I also built upon my clinical communication and teamwork skills ensuring that all the progress and barriers from each patient’s therapy sessions were properly documented and shared with their guardians and other providers on their team. Though much different than being a PA, I gained experience that will guide me to become a more open-minded and inquisitive physician assistant.
Mary Bassett’s words resonated strongly with me because I saw that being an advocate meant more than just diagnosing, planning, and treating my patients. As a PA, I want to use my role in society to ensure equity and cultural humility in caring for patients and their care is not simply due to the diagnosis taken at face value, but also considering the social determinants of health. I want to use my voice to speak out on issues and groups that need advocates, initiate change, and sound the alarm even when it’s uncomfortable. I know that being a PA will give me that opportunity.
Whitney Prosperi says
Anusha,
You are off to a good start, and your desire to elevate patients comes out strongly throughout your essay.
I think you will need to condense throughout your essay to allow room to add a paragraph that explains specifically why you feel drawn to the PA profession specifically. (the ability to switch specialties, expand care, collaboration with a healthcare team?)
I would also expand on any clinical skills you have gained throughout your work.
I am not saying you need this, but should you want more help remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck, Anusha.
Adina Warren says
Hello! Thank you for providing this comments section! My rough draft is below:
A 3 week old baby was experiencing cardiac abnormalities that required her to stay hospitalized after birth. While walking into my night shift as a surgical technologist, we got word that the patient might need to be put on ecmo at her bedside in the PICU. The general pediatric surgeon on call for that evening was not yet in the hospital. After the head of the PICU staff cleared for the patient to be put on ecmo he asked what the ETA of the surgeon was. Knowing the surgeon was enroute, I went ahead and set up for a surgical procedure amidst the traffic of staff tending the patient including active CPR. Another event took place in which a code OR was activated and we were prompted to set up for emergency surgery for a twelve year old MVC. As I was setting up for the case, the resident anesthesiologist continuously asked questions for the purpose of insight that were beyond my scope of practice. Both of these events included situations where I felt compelled to provide more assistance than the role of a surgical technologist. I wanted to assist in the assessment of the patient and the need for surgery. I also wanted to actually perform or assist in performing the surgery rather than passing the instrumentation. While my current career is rewarding, I couldn’t help but entertain the urge to re-evaluate my life, my career, and my goals. I felt compelled to investigate my options. After solidifying this decision, I was determined to expand my knowledge and increase my ability to serve others. I decided I was going to do the work to pursue becoming a physician assistant.
As a surgical technologist for pediatrics at a level one trauma center, I have the privilege of seeing a wide variety of surgeries. I have been trained to think quickly and critically from the moment I am prepping the operating room and surgical set up, to the moment the patient leaves prior to their surgery. I use my learned knowledge to execute proper anticipation to the needs of the surgery and surgeon. Throughout my job, I see the value in every role of the medical staff. Everyone has a voice in the room for the sole purpose of proper patient care. I felt empowered continuously catching necessary corrections and feeling heard by my colleagues. Eventually I was heavily looked to for being a trusted member of the team. As time went on, I felt solidified and confident that I could be an advocate for patients on a higher level.
My first couple of encounters with a physician assistant was in the emergency department and at a FastMed. I was impressed by their level of independence and compassion. They were level headed and I didn’t realize there were so many avenues for physician assistants. As my curiosity grew I began to ask questions around the hospital I work at. I inquired about shadowing a PA who works in our pediatric orthopedics clinic and although it wasn’t pertaining to surgery, I was still able to see the ins and outs of the role of a PA and it felt useful. Paul, the PA I was shadowing, expressed his joy for working in a career he feels passionate about, the role he plays in medicine, and his work/life balance. My experience with him just made me all the more excited to continue on with my journey.
I am extremely thankful for my current job as a surgical technologist. I have learned a vast knowledge of surgery and sterile technique, professionalism, and compassion to a degree that is beyond what I could have imagined. I have exercised my adaptability, attention to detail and critical thinking. The wide range of the specialties including traumas and struggles with low staffing has modified my brain to keep a level head with patient care and safety my top priority. I have always been a compassionate human being, and the skills I have attained only strengthened and opened up a Pandora’s box for the possible impact I can further have on promoting, aiding and improving the health and well being of others.
**I have environmental volunteer experience but I was thinking to express how people who feel hesitant about speaking up and asking questions tend to gravitate towards me as an advocate for them. Don’t know how I should word that or if I should even bother including.**
I have been in school for a lengthy amount of time now, setting goal after goal as I find my way to my final career goal. I learned that exterior life circumstances such as familial responsibilities and working full time will take a toll on my performance. I also learned that I have a level of resilience and passion for my success that keeps me going. Through trial and error I have attained the necessary stamina to reach my goals. In PA school I am excited to focus solely on my academics without having to worry about a job or other external factors.
This is my final hurdle in academics and I am looking forward to having the freedom to finish out strong. I feel immense excitement to be an avenue for patients who will trust me to lead and care for them in the right direction. Through knowledge and providing comfort in an individual’s most vulnerable times; I strongly believe that I will make an impact and feel trusted by my future primary physician to do so. I intend to be the physician assistant who brings light to my colleagues and makes everyone feel good about working as a team. I know I will be a leader who people can count on and provide a sense of relief when they see me walk into a room. Thank you for taking the time to review my essay.
Whitney Prosperi says
Adina,
I can sense your desire to do more for patients woven throughout your essay.
I would expand some on your shadowing experience. Describe an interaction you witnessed by Paul that confirmed your decision.
I would also add more detail regarding what exactly appeals to you about the PA profession. (the ability to switch specialties? collaboration? ability to expand care to more patients? more time/contact with patients?)
I would also add in a patient care story if you have one. Show yourself in action connecting with an anxious patient while providing clinical care of some kind. You want to show some of the qualities you possess that will make you an effective PA.
Should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck, Adina.
Sara says
Hello! I am looking to use the one time service as well, but I was wondering how long that would take? In the meantime, I have my personal statement below and was wondering if I could get some general feedback on it! Thanks.
The patient was a scared 12 year old girl. “You’re going to need surgery”, said Dr. Wisotsky, the retina specialist at Omni Eye Services. I could see fear wash through her and her mother and in that moment, all I wanted to do was to make them feel better. “Her vision has not been affected yet, but without surgery, she could go blind”, he continued, being as direct and explanatory as possible. As an ophthalmic technician/medical scribe at Omni Eye Services, surgery has become a common treatment plan. It is necessary to not only be informative, but also have meaningful interactions due to the patients’ fear of potentially losing something as valuable as their sight. Through life changing experiences such as this one, I obtained skills that would ultimately make me a great Physician Assistant (PA).
Through my shadowing experiences, I have appreciated a PA’s empathetic and collaborative nature that occurs between the PA, patient, physician, and the rest of the health care team, all working together to have the best and most effective treatment plan possible for all patients. Shadowing Laurie Kuperyk, PA-C, I saw a 20 year old man, who came into the office suffering from panic attacks, along with depression and anxiety. The patient did not trust medications as he was previously prescribed 2 “strong” medications with detrimental side effects. Laurie established a connection with the patient as we actively listened to him talking about quitting his job and not being able to even get up during the day. This reminded me of the conversations I have as a volunteer at Crisis Text Line. I have been able to discuss a variety of topics with people, from self harm and depression to issues in relationships. I have acquired skills that will aid my future interactions as a PA such as being able to control my own emotions and to effectively communicate with those who need help. Laurie decided to discuss this case with the physician in the office and as I sat there listening to them go back and forth brainstorming ideas, I couldn’t help but think about the patient. Laurie ultimately decided on giving a medication that is not as strong, which the patient was okay with and I was able to notice the relief he felt afterwards walking out of the office. I felt helpless merely shadowing Laurie and watching this young adult go through such a difficult time, but watching her use the same skills I use while volunteering assures me that as a PA, I will be able to have meaningful interactions to care for the patients.
During my undergraduate years, I struggled with the many difficulties of a new city and newfound busy schedule, however I have since prioritized my time management skills which has led to improvements in my academics. Once I put together that it was “okay to ask for help” along with my motivational passion for being a PA, I knew whole heartedly that I would be able to excel and be able to thrive in the rigorous academics of PA school. My more recent grades are more indicative of the type of student I am and the past year gaining more experience in the healthcare field as well as shadowing PAs, show my commitment to the PA profession. The retention of knowledge is a skill that I have been working on at Omni Eye Services (OES). I learn something new everyday, whether this be the different mechanisms behind glaucoma treatments or the best type of cataract lens for a patient. I have the trust from the optometrists and ophthalmologists to answer patient’s questions accurately.
Physician assistants are at the forefront for providing effective treatment for all types of patients while being collaborative and empathetic. I hope to be the physician assistant who will provide patient focused care, effective treatment plans, and, quite simply, compassion. The next time I saw Dr. Wisotsky after the day he decided to do surgery, I also saw the 12 year old patient again for the post-operative visit. “OD (right eye) healing well,” he notes. I quickly scribble down notes and smile at my clipboard, ecstatic that she’s doing well, and hopeful for the day I can start treating patients.
Whitney Prosperi says
Sara,
You are off to a good start.
I would include some more details from your healthcare journey. Describe your work in your current role, including any clinical skills you have gained and your willingness to collaborate with your team. You want to show some of the qualities you have gained that will make you an effective provider.
Also, you may want to include one more line about your work with the crisis text line.
Our team is currently taking essay submissions, and I encourage you to submit if you think you need more help. Good luck to you.
Jasmine says
Hello,
This is my first draft of writing my PS, I would love any feedback, thank you!
Sophomore year of college, out of the blue, I started developing rashes all over my body. Along with that, every night my feet would start to tingle and eventually feel like they were on fire. It kept me up all night long and eventually started to impact my grades because I was exhausted the next day. I tried many remedies, from Benadryl and Xyzal to hydrocortisone cream to rubbing menthol oil all over my body. The only thing that would bring some relief was standing in a tub of ice-cold water until my feet went numb. If I could not feel my toes then I could not feel anything else.
I first saw my primary care provider. Blood tests were done but were inconclusive. After that, I was sent to an allergist. There, I did skin prick and intradermal allergy tests when the results still did not show anything. So, I was sent on my way. After a few months of this agony, I went to my university’s health services (UHS) where I saw a PA for the first time in my life. I have never been treated with such care and compassion and was supposed to be a twenty-minute appointment turned into an hour. She did not know what was wrong either, but she took the time to research with me on UptoDate and eventually settled on a diagnosis. After taking daily medication, all of my itching and burning stopped. I first learned about the PA career through her and after doing my own research as to the capabilities and responsibilities I decided that this was what I wanted to pursue. Medicine revolves around interprofessional care, but the warmth I felt from this PA is what inspired me to choose this path and to fulfill this role.
After this experience, I knew I needed to gain healthcare experience. Unfortunately, the pandemic hit, and everything was shut down. I inquired at local hospitals and clinics to no avail and eventually applied for a job at UW Health’s Clinical Simulation Program (CSP). To be honest, I had no idea what this would entail, I just knew it was in healthcare. At the CSP, I was able to see the learning process of future providers. Many groups came into the CSP, including medical students and residents, nurses, physical therapists, and PA students. The residents and nurses were always tied to a specific specialty or field, but the PA students came in for many different specialties. They learned how to scrub in, how to suture, and ER skills, among many other things. I loved the flexibility and the wide range of knowledge they acquired. This experience further solidified my desire to become a PA and the next step I knew I needed to take was to work directly with patients.
At this point, it was still quite difficult to find patient care opportunities, especially for a student with another job. I was able to find work at a local nursing home, working with a small group of individuals as a home health aide. I would come in and help them take medicine/vitals, facilitate physical therapy, bathe them, and do anything else they might need. It was quite a rewarding job and there I learned the importance of respect, communication, and above all, compassion. One of my most memorable experiences there was when I went into a resident’s home, “Arlene”. In the beginning, Arlene was weary of me as I was an outsider. Over time, we developed rapport and trust. As I bathed her she would tell me wonderful stories about her younger years. Sometimes, she repeated a story, but I did not feel the need to tell her that. One evening, I walked in and the first thing she started to do was apologize. I was confused, then saw that she had tried to defecate in the bathroom, but did not make it in time. I made sure to assure her everything was fine and I would clean her and the apartment “in a jiffy”. After all, I was in her home and I did not want to make her feel at all uncomfortable. When I left that day, my goal of working in the healthcare field was cemented as I knew I wanted to spend my time building trust with others and making them feel comfortable and safe during troubling situations.
I was then given the opportunity to gain experience working in a clinical setting at UHS, the same place I was helped many months ago. There, I was able to see firsthand the work of PAs, NPs, and physicians. During my second semester, I worked at the Lakeshore Clinic where it was just the student assistant and one PA. Once, a patient came in with an ingrown toenail. The PA came to ask me to remain in the room and talk with the patient while she removed the toenail. It was so severe that the patient needed to be numbed and she was deathly afraid of needles. As we talked, I could see tears welling in her eyes and I made sure to not look down at the PA, as that would draw attention to what was happening. We talked about everything in those minutes and I found out her mom made an amazing pear pie and that she was a freshman majoring in business. After she left, the PA commended me for being able to make her feel more comfortable during what could have been a traumatic experience. While I will likely never talk to that patient again, I will always remember the attention to detail, compassion, and sensitivity the PA displayed at that moment. It reminded me of the care I received all that time ago.
Whitney Prosperi says
Jasmine,
You are off to a good start. I would condense where you can throughout so you can add in a few more elements to your essay. I would include some of the clinical skills and medical knowledge you have gained through your work. You want to elaborate some on your journey to this point, including work and volunteer experience and extracurricular activities that show your interest in the medical field.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Good luck, Jasmine!
Mattie Klein says
This is the first draft of my essay. Any feedback is appreciated!
“Please don’t leave us, I’m scared”, Mr. Kelley’s daughter whimpered to me as I was saying goodbye to them at the end of one of my last shifts in the cardiovascular ICU. Holding back my own tears, I struggled to respond, knowing I likely wouldn’t get to care for Mr. Kelley again. Working as a float pool nursing assistant, I have the luxury of working in many different specialty areas. The telemetry unit, Med/Surg, acute stay, palliative care, clinical decision and observation, Med/Surg ICU, COVID ICU, neuro ICU, and the cardiovascular ICU have all been instrumental in expanding and developing my clinical skills as a CNA. It aids in improving my communication and teamwork with other healthcare professionals that I do not work with on a regular basis. I arrive at 6:30 AM with my assignment and deliver the best care I possibly can for twelve hours straight, and leave that evening knowing I did what was in my limited scope to improve someone’s care experience, but still wishing I could somehow do more. The next day is a repeat, only I don’t get to see my patients from the day before, like Mr. Kelley. I don’t get the chance to watch them recover from their surgeries, illnesses, or injuries. I don’t get to form relationships with my patients and their family members, and while I know my work is essential, I am only a stranger to them.
One damp Thursday morning, I received my placement for the day: the cardiovascular ICU. I was elated by this news as I had been a CNA in this ICU for several months prior to transferring to the float pool. This was the one place I got to develop relationships and there was one girl in particular who I couldn’t wait to see that day. Rachel is a physician assistant in cardiovascular surgery. Working alongside her for months, I got to really understand the PA profession and after every discussion and interaction with Rachel, I have been invigorated to pursue my dream of becoming a PA with even more ferocity than before.
That day in the ICU, we had three coronary artery bypass graft (CABG) patients and one transcatheter aortic valve replacement (TAVR) patient. I knew Rachel would be assisting in at least two of these surgeries, so I found her first thing in the morning to let her know I was going to be in the unit that day. To my surprise, she had spoken with the unit director and invited me to shadow her in her first CABG that morning. I was beyond thrilled. Working alongside her in the ICU I have been able to study her post-op responsibilities, see her interact, prescribe, and treat her patients during their usual seven-day stay after heart surgery, and watch her be the most compassionate and sympathetic patient advocate. This time I got to see her in action in the operating room and I was even more sure that being a PA was what I wanted to do. She worked with intensity, yet she was calm. She was efficient, yet thorough. She was the surgeon’s assistant, yet a leader. Rachel made sure to be there when our patient woke up after surgery, and every day for the rest of his stay in the ICU.
I quickly realized that my feeling of wanting to be able to do more for my patients came from understanding all of the possibilities that come with being a PA. A greater level of autonomy is something that I desire. As a CNA, you understand that bedside manner is your top priority. I long to assist in an individual’s overall health from diagnosing to prescribing and treating. I have also been able to appreciate the collaborative relationships that PAs have with the rest of their team. Having the float pool experience, it is very appealing that PAs have such lateral flexibility between specialties, sometimes even undertaking multiple at once. And the factor that truly pulls at my heart and desire, is the full relationships that PAs develop with their patients and family members. The ability to be with them through their course of treatment and become not only a contributory part of their recovery, but also a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and a smile to laugh with.
Rachel has truly helped me commit to a life-long journey of saving people’s lives as a PA. With this path, I will no longer be the stranger in the room.
Whitney Prosperi says
Mattie,
I like how you tied your story from the introduction to your conclusion. You’ll want to expand your conclusion to reiterate your desire for greater responsibility to care for patients.
You do a good job of describing what appeals to you about the PA profession.
I would include more details about your journey toward becoming a PA. Describe how your initial interest in medicine was sparked, as well as extracurricular activities, college details, and volunteer experience that shows your developing interest in healthcare.
Lastly, include a patient care story that shows you in action providing clinical care while connecting with a patient. You want to reveal some of the traits that will make you an effective PA.
Good luck, Mattie!
Randi Posey says
I have written my Personal Statement below. Thank you for any feedback.
I witnessed my first seizure when I was eleven years old, babysitting my six-month old brother. Upon recognizing his symptoms, I ensured his airway was clear then phoned for help. Once the ambulance left, and I prepared for the longest wait of my life, I reflected on the small blessing I had been granted to become First Aid and CPR certified during a Girl Scout event that year, a certification I have kept current for most of my life. That day I knew I was destined for a career in the medical field.
Key values from childhood have formed my adult character. I was raised to prioritize my family, to work hard, and to embrace life with optimism. As the oldest of four children, I benefitted from quality time with each parent before my sister was born and my brothers were adopted. I witnessed my parents’ struggles as they opened a construction company just prior to a recession and slowly made their dreams come true. We lived in a semi-rural community, and I was actively involved in basketball, coaching, karate, and Girl Scouts. These activities sparked a confidence in myself as a team player and led me to set high goals for my future.
My extensive community service hours, extracurricular activities, and competitive GPA throughout high school earned me my choice of undergraduate education. Coming from a small town, I did not recognize the competitiveness of the University of California (UC) system. I enrolled in too many core classes during the first two years and drowned amidst the anonymity of a large public university. Further stress came from working full time hours on weekends at a traveling carnival to cover the costs of living. As I adjusted to the college system, I slowly improved my GPA, earning a place on the Deans Honor List. I never lost sight of my goal to enter the medical field. The difficulty of repeating classes taught me how to identify my weaknesses, adapt, and grow. I learned how to teach myself things I had not previously encountered and to be resilient. These are traits I will bring to my training as a PA, where I will commit to lifelong learning.
After graduation, I enrolled at a local community college to strengthen my academic weaknesses. I became part of a diverse student population and learned the value of studying as a team. I continued to volunteer in my community without incentive. I became a starting player on the college basketball team, a transformative experience in its own, that taught me mottos to live by, including the benefit of “getting uncomfortable” to improve myself and the “potluck” aspect of a team, in which each member needs to contribute something different for a team to be successful. My association with the team expanded my community outreach, and I became involved with volunteer work through Food4Thought, a food pantry service, annual youth basketball camps, and assisted with a variety of charities and fundraisers. As I neared graduation, I was invited to attend a professional basketball combine to play overseas, and I set my sights there. Eight days before my combine, I suffered a traumatic knee injury, from which I spent the next year and a half recovering.
My injury led to new opportunities. I married my best friend. I gained employment with the community college and became a scribe in two emergency departments, where I worked through a global pandemic. Most importantly, I was home when my dad became ill, and recognized symptoms in time for him to seek treatment for non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. My days were spent alternately working at the hospital and sitting with my dad in the same hospital while he received daily transfusions to stay alive long enough to receive a stem cell transplant. My father’s experience battling cancer has caused me to count my blessings and to understand my time is finite.
My experience as a scribe has allowed me to compare provider roles on a deeper level. I have worked with a variety of doctors and physician assistants. I have been in the examination rooms to witness sensitive patient encounters, and behind the desk to witness the decision-making process. From such a position, I have formed a general idea of the type of provider I wish to be. I desire a career that allows me to be part of a team, that will optimize my interpersonal skills, provide flexibility to change specialties, and allow me to prioritize and be an active member of my family. I believe my adaptability and dedication make me an ideal candidate for a physician assistant program, and I believe the PA lifestyle matches my goals in life. I have approached academic, physical, and personal setbacks with a growth mindset, and I expect to continue challenging myself and grow in my training to be a PA. Since childhood, I have demonstrated my commitment to helping others. I am looking for a PA training program that values diversity, takes a team approach to learning, is adaptable, and will allow me to continue to grow as a student into my future provider role.
Whitney Prosperi says
Randi,
That is a powerful story about your brother.
I would suggest condensing some throughout your essay so that you can add some more elements of your journey. Can you describe any clinical skills you have gained along the way? You may want to describe an instance where you connected with a special patient while also provided care of some kind.
Also, I would include any shadowing experience you had and what that revealed and confirmed to you about the PA profession.
I think it’s wise to discuss grades when needed, but generally it’s best to briefly discuss what happened and how you learned and grew from the experience in the second to last paragraph of the essay. This way you can focus on the positive first.
Lastly, for your conclusion, I would tie back to the story in your introduction in a more direct way.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
I wish you good luck, Randi.
Cammie says
Before knowing physician assistants (PA) held a role in surgical procedures, I assisted with my first transplant at just twelve years old. At my father’s side, I helped him by positioning the flashlight at the perfect angle so he could prepare her for the most important step of the procedure. Carefully, he lowered the new motor into her engine bay, bolted her intake manifold, and hoped for the best. With the turn of the ignition switch, her motor roared to life. He was a skilled car doctor, and the garage was his operating room.
I grew a great appreciation for cars, because they are complex, constantly changing, and give me an avenue for creativity. Each part and mechanism of cars are an extension of my own anatomy and physiology. We both breathe air and expel carbon dioxide. My heart pumps blood, and her engine metabolizes oil. Her safety sensors are my eyes and ears. As the years passed, and parts began to wear, I became more conscientious of my own health. Unlike cars, our health cannot be maintained by staying in a garage. I wanted to learn more about how I can help preserve the most complex machinery of all–the human body.
It wasn’t until I visited my university’s student health center for an upper respiratory infection that I was first introduced to a PA. She began her diagnostic tests, but instead of plugging a scan tool into a diagnostic port, she auscultated my lungs, palpated my lymph nodes, and reviewed my medical history to construct the best course of treatment. I noticed “PA-C” followed her name on the script she handed me. Out of curiosity, I googled the acronym, and discovered the profession matched my desire to think critically, collaborate with others, and serve my community.
Attending school in a college town, I found I enjoyed sharing my time and university’s resources with the surrounding communities. As chair of the academics committee, I was able to help negotiate considerable funding to host the Tiny Beta’s Science Fair, an event inviting 300 low-income public school students to UNR annually for a day of science. Working with children of immigrant parents reminded me of my own roots. As someone with immigrant parents as well, my experience further cemented my desire to serve those same communities.
I began working as an ED medical scribe alongside both physicians and PAs at Northern Nevada Medical Center to further explore the PA profession. Scribing required me to be composed, efficient, and unbiased to create accurate records for my providers. I gained invaluable experience as I was invited to their thoughts on how they crafted their interventions for the numerous patients we would see on the daily. Scribing for different providers also enhanced my ability to adapt to their preferences and learn different approaches to problems. I found I enjoyed encountering diverse cases and liked how PAs regularly collaborated with physicians. I also thrived in a team-based environment as a PT aide at Reno Orthopedic Clinic. Working in a busy clinic, the aides were the eyes and ears to prevent injuries and helped guide our patients through their prescribed exercises for our PTs. Although seeing my patients through their recovery was rewarding, I wanted to be more involved with their care.
Tahoe Fracture Orthopedic and Spine was where I shadowed PA Emma. I remember meeting a patient suffering from severe knee osteoarthritis. She was discouraged as she felt she had exhausted all the options she could afford. Growing up without health coverage, I could empathize with her frustration and uneasiness. Calm and collected, Emma suggested Visco injections and was happy to write a prescription for her to purchase online from Canada for a fraction of the cost. I was impressed by her knowledge, compassion, and ability to accommodate her patient’s unique circumstances. Emma told me PA school was the worst and best thing she has done for herself, highlighting the rigorous training, yet fulfilling profession I am looking forward to.
At 12, I put on my safety glasses and gloves to assist my father with car repairs. About a decade later, I still used my safety glasses and gloves, but this time, I was in the operating room observing Emma skillfully closing an incision after a successful total knee replacement. Since then, I have toured how PAs function in the medical community from the ED, to orthopedic referrals, and their part in patient rehabilitation. I am confident my experiences and education have prepared me for the rigors of PA school. Although the material was complex and unfamiliar, many dry erase markers, late-night study groups, and scheduling gymnastics later, I was making the dean’s list for almost all of my semesters, on top of my commitment to my research lab, student government, and biology honor society. I have cracked the surface of the human body instruction manual, my days as the flashlight holder are over, and I am ready to become the PA my patients and medical team deserve.
Whitney Prosperi says
Cammie,
You are off to a strong start. You do a great job of grabbing the reader’s attention and showing your desire to learn how things work. Your section on shadowing is also effective.
I would suggest adding a patient care story if you have one. You want to show yourself in action providing clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level.
Good luck in the process, Cammie.
Alex Estrada says
Hello, here is my first draft of my personal statement and I would very much appreciate any feedback.
It was a typical day at the shelter, with my church youth group and I doing our best to provide food and other necessities to the underserved people of the community who had come in need of help. There was one individual, though, with whom I had an interaction with that actually opened my eyes. It was a young woman who seemed to be in pain and discomfort and had a shoulder injury. I remember seeing her in this condition of unease and feeling helpless to alleviate the agony she was experiencing at the time. When I saw her again at the shelter a week later, I asked whether she was feeling better from her shoulder. She admitted that she had made little progress and that she wouldn’t be able to see a doctor for several weeks. Although I was able to provide food and other necessities that helped ease some of her agonies, I feel it was insufficient to address the problems caused by her shoulder injury.
Throughout high school and into college, I volunteered at shelters in Nassau County and Queens, New York, with other volunteers from my youth organization. We provided those in need with food and basic necessities, demonstrating to me that a large proportion of those in need genuinely exist within society and helping me to enhance my teamwork abilities. The ability that I had in exploring a community service role by providing for those who were underserved, as well as practicing patience and flexibility through the allocation of a positive influence/service to help make an enriching change within those individuals, allowed me to develop a devotion to helping others. Furthermore, to foster an understanding of how critical it is for individuals who are disadvantaged and have barriers to getting health care services to be provided greater access to these services overall. The experience I gained by working at the shelter allowed me to develop and deepen values like empathy and care for the neglected, as well as being always encouraged to go the extra mile for these individuals. In support of my goal of becoming a provider in the medical sector (PA), I will surely look forward to refining these abilities in order to pursue my vocation of supporting those who have medical difficulties throughout their life.
I have devoted and continue to invest days as a volunteer within the emergency and other departments of the Queens Hospital Center, to aid in the considerable challenges/tensions that providers especially within the ED experienced. The challenges included overcoming obstacles and having limited resources, which were exacerbated in part by the emergence of COVID-19 and affected the surrounding population that is at least partially underserved. Furthermore, given the challenges I watched being faced, I can understand how critical the training as a Physician Assistant is, given the role they play in these sorts of circumstances. I wish to receive as well as use that training in its totality to fulfill the pursuit of this profession in assisting to overcome these issues and in helping evoke a resolution to the servicing of communities such as those deemed underserved.
The calling to become a Physician Assistant stemmed from a great interest in the anatomy/physiology of the human body as a whole and it motivated me to further enhance my knowledge of biology in college. As a result, I became determined in constructing good preparations to become a good PA student through gaining medical knowledge via firsthand experience as a hospital volunteer, improving time management skills, and adapting to new situations over time. When I went to urgent care centers, it was usually the PA who came in first and made sure I was comfortable or at ease (while taking my vitals) before the doctor came in. The environment created by the PAs in those instances opened my eyes, making me realize my calling of becoming a PA and delivering that same proper care to the patients I expect to encounter in the future. Furthermore, being able to resonate with the solicitude and concern that the PAs I’ve encountered provided me with, in addition to addressing concerns about my health as their patient, gave me great insight into how a PA can be as effective as a Physician, reinforcing my desire to work in the PA field.
When I consider how much I have learned throughout my preparation and desire to become a PA, it’s rather remarkable to see how I have been able to acquire critical strengths/skills. Volunteering in hospitals (healthcare), shelters, and soup kitchens has helped me see the importance of offering care as well as positive support for those in need within society. Also, how patients should always be treated with sympathy and care since they place their trust in you, which accounts for a significant portion of what you do as a PA. I am certain that I have a concern for patients, the drive to obtain critical knowledge, and the ability to work as part of a team to flourish as a PA and consistently contribute to others in the community.
Whitney Prosperi says
Alex,
I can sense your desire to help people woven throughout your essay. I would suggest adding some more elements to the story in your introduction. Could you add some dialogue that shows you interacting with the woman in your story? You want to show yourself in action here.
I would also add more detail about what specifically appeals to you about the PA profession over another type of healthcare provider. (Also, for reference, physician assistant is not capitalized.)
I would also detail some of your work experience and clinical skills.
Lastly, in your conclusion, you may want to refer to the story in your introduction in some way.
I wish you good luck, Alex.
Patrick Petrosky says
Hello,
This is my first personal statement after one round of edits. Any feedback would be awesome, and thank you in advanced!
I was brushing my teeth before bed, when my phone started ringing. Of course it was scheduling, calling about a stat case at our level one trauma center. They gave me an hour to get there and provide intraoperative neuro monitoring for a T11-L3 spinal fusion. I quickly hopped in my car, and couldn’t stop thinking “why now?” while I drove over and prepared for the case.
My set up in the operating room was done- needles prepped, tape was torn, and my amplifiers and stimulators were on the bed waiting to collect neurological data. The last thing left to do was to go interview the patient and their family. As I headed over to pre-op I was still unable to shake the “why now” thoughts from my mind.
I pulled the curtain back and was hit by a wave of grim emotion, radiating from the patient and her daughter. Towards the end of my interview, I started a neuro exam and began to figure out “why now.” The patient was unable to move her left leg, and could only contract muscles in her right leg. These symptoms lined up with her L1 burst fracture diagnosis, and I finally asked how it happened. The patient casually responded:
“I was hit by 11 cars on the interstate this morning, after jumping off an overpass to kill myself.”
My jaw dropped as the daughter burst into tears, after having to hear that sentence come from her mother. I felt my heart break for the patient and her family, and felt guilty knowing that it couldn’t be as broken as theirs. Even worse, I had the audacity to think “why now” for almost an hour before knowing the entire situation. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that it was 10 pm and we were about to start a seven hour surgery.
Before I knew it, the CRNA was extubating the patient, and I removed all of my leads. As the patient emerged from anesthesia, we all watched on as she reflexively contracted her left leg muscles and lifted her right leg off the bed for a moment. Everyone let out a sigh of relief, but knew the patient had a long road to recovery ahead. As the patient was wheeled out of the room, the morning sunlight started shining into the hall and illuminated the patient. I equated this as a sign that the patient would fight to get to a better place and make a full recovery.
This case had a large impact on me, and taught me a few things about myself. As I walked away from her pre-op bay, I couldn’t help but to feel like I needed to do more to help her. However, since my role is limited to surgery, there wasn’t much I could do to help her once she was wheeled to the ICU. To this day, I still don’t know how she is doing- and this is the case for almost all the patients I work with. This curiosity drove me to explore ways to increase the impact that I have on patients, as well as provide care to them more often than just one time during their healing journey.
I began observing the providers I work with more closely, and these observations helped me conclude that the role of a physician assistant was the best route for me to make a larger impact on patients. I started researching how to become a physician assistant, and what steps I would need to take to give myself a chance to attend PA school. At the time, there was an application cycle that had just opened, so I pieced together my application as quickly as possible.
While my application wasn’t ideal, it was what I had to work with at the time, and the goal of gaining entrance to a physician assistant program was not accomplished. However, it did provide valuable experience that I used to create a plan to improve my application for this current cycle. The plan included taking two prerequisite courses, shadowing and connecting with PA’s, and being more prepared for when the cycle opened up, all while continuing to acquire patient experience.
Biochemistry was the first prerequisite that I enrolled in, and it was an adjustment for me to be a student again. After a couple of weeks, however, I was able to find a good rhythm and this translated to excelling in the course. It proved that I could learn difficult material, much like what I expect from a master’s level graduate program.
Shadowing a physician assistant proved to be difficult to accomplish with COVID-19 restrictions in place. However, I did what I could to acquire hours, which included meeting PA’s over Zoom to discuss their position and specialty. When restrictions were lifted, PA’s I work with promptly invited me to shadow them, and I was exposed to patient care in the clinic and hospital settings. These were valuable experiences that confirmed my decision to pursue the role of physician assistant was the correct one.
The improvements I made for this cycle weren’t the easiest to complete, and at times seemed impossible. Reflecting on that trauma case from two years ago provided me with the necessary motivation to push through the hard times. Accomplishing these improvements are small steps towards my goal, but they greatly display my true character as I work towards becoming a physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Patrick,
Your opening story is powerful and quickly grabs the reader’s attention. I would, however, condense this story where you can so that you can add some other elements to your essay.
After your introductory story, I would go into detail about what about the PA profession specifically appeals to you. Is it the potential for more time/contact with patients? Ability to switch specialties? Collaborating with a healthcare team?
I would also show yourself in action connecting with a patient. You want to spotlight some of the clinical skills you have gained along the way and also show some of the traits that you possess that will make you an effective PA.
I am not saying you need this, but should you want more help, we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck, Patrick.
Cristina Kuizon says
Hello! This is my currently second draft:
The San Diego sun blistered down as I sat outside a mobile clinic, trying to catch a small break in the day between patients. Hector strolled towards me from the street with a confused look. “Que es esto?” he asked. “I’ve lived down the street for years and have never seen these trailers.” Tiredly, I put down my half-eaten Clif bar to explain that our research team was there to help the community get a COVID-19 vaccine through a clinical trial. His eyes lit up with hope. “Is this free? How can my family and I join?” My exhaustion washed away as I remembered the actual value of this work. In the unknown midst of a pandemic, the ability to connect with Hector to offer aid and a stronger sense of security to his health became my light at the end of the tunnel.
My desire to connect with people through work started when I learned American Sign Language in college. The curriculum involved cultural awareness atop language enrichment. Four quarters of classes taught by Deaf professors strengthened my understanding of differently-abled communities. To earn my psychology minor and practice signing, I volunteered on a research project interviewing Deaf participants. Anna was thrilled when I alerted her to my presence by tapping on the wooden desk so she could feel the vibrations. My shaky signs began flowing with ease as she opened up about her life. Despite language barriers and cultural differences, the connection we made initiated my desire for a career that allowed personal relationships with underrepresented communities. As a physician assistant, the freedom to switch between specialties without further schooling or residency maintains the accessibility to serve a broader range of people.
My gravitation to medicine and higher learning stemmed from my parents – my mom is a doctor and since my dad could not finish college, they wanted me to shine even brighter. I excelled in my upper-division biology classes and did well on the MCAT. Yet, the thought of spending four years in medical school did not quite fit. Instead, I began my work in infectious diseases research. This path has provided me with a unique foundation in HIV care that would be amiss had I followed in my mother’s footsteps. When I first met Jose, he had many questions about HIV transmission and care. I was able to discuss maintenance with him due to my knowledge of the various antiretroviral therapy studies available in the clinic. But my understanding of transmission was not yet solidified, so I sought resources to educate myself. I discovered online courses that inform providers of ongoing research efforts and disease management updates. This especially became useful in light of the pandemic, when many of my HIV participants had rightful concerns about their health and safety. As a PA, I can utilize my current knowledge of HIV and expand my skills in treatment and transmission prevention by meeting newly diagnosed patients, educating them on the disease, and conducting their follow-up care.
An integral part of my job as a clinical research coordinator is collaboration. I work closely with a team of lab technicians, pharmacists, nurses, and doctors to ensure the safety and comfort of my research participants. Having an array of clinicians available to supplement and enhance my knowledge is invaluable. I turn to a nurse when I detect an abnormal lab result. I ask a pharmacist when I’m uncertain of specific medication interactions. I defer to doctors when a potential participant’s eligibility is unclear. This process of referral instills confidence in myself as a CRC. Yet, the lack of formal training limits me to the role of messenger; I cannot form my own clinical opinions before asking others. The medical education of a PA program would help to replace dependence with consult. The collaborative foundation I have built as a CRC translates well to being a PA among a team of healthcare providers. Ultimately, practicing as a PA with a collaborating physician will allow similar confidence in my job ability and greater autonomy in my patient care.
My long-term intention as a provider is to remain accessible to the underserved. From using trailers to create a temporary vaccine study clinic to providing free HIV screens for high-risk individuals, I have seen firsthand how research projects can help increase healthcare access to underserved communities. The cultural awareness and sensitivity gained from serving these diverse communities have prepared me for the compassion and adaptability needed to practice as a PA. In addition, the constant learning I have committed to by following complex research efforts has primed me for the rigors of a fast-paced PA curriculum. As PAs are intended to help bridge the gap between patients and doctors, I believe my collaborative nature and dedication to continued learning can help close this gap in both the practical and investigative sides of medicine.
Whitney Prosperi says
Cristina,
You do a good job of explaining what appeals to you about the PA role. Also, your focus on collaboration and expanding access to medical care to the underserved is effective. I would describe any shadowing experience you have. If you don’t have shadowing experience, describe your observations from working with PAs. Was there an interaction between PA/patient or PA/physician that solidified your decision?
I wish you good luck in the process.
Liane Wu says
Hi,
This is my third draft and I have submitted my statement for a one-term editing service as well. Please let me know your general thoughts on this draft. Thank you!
At sixteen years old, I never felt more in control of my life than when I decided to start birth control. As a patient I felt empowered by my choice, and I wanted to do the same for others by pursuing a career in medicine. Initially the only way I knew to achieve that goal was by becoming a physician. However my partner introduced me to the physician assistant (PA) profession in my second year of college. During my research I realized by pursuing the PA route I do not sacrifice the role I want to play in healthcare, and patients can gain a highly-trained provider sooner. I am motivated to become a PA to do what I always wanted to do — extend quality, compassionate healthcare.
During college, I began my journey into healthcare as a registered behavior technician (RBT) independently providing therapy for children with autism. Allowed into the intimate setting of my patients’ homes, we worked on their language, social, and self-regulation skills. Each patient presented different obstacles, and their home lives affected how I conducted sessions too. Were outdoor activities better for Cal who shared a small space with five family members? How do I work on goals in a car while Roy’s parents picked up his siblings? What was the best way to communicate with Sal, a two-year-old from Mexico who only understood Spanish? This experience taught me how to adapt to different situations while also providing a common standard of care in my treatment. My favorite part was helping patients master goals and feeling the parents’ excitement about their progress. Interacting with families from a range of socioeconomic backgrounds and children with varying levels of autism has made me versatile and resourceful. Using the skills I have gained as a RBT, I want to continue providing treatment for diverse patient populations as I advance towards becoming a PA.
After graduating, I began working as an aide for a family-run physical therapy clinic. A Chinese couple, the Lin’s, came in for their initial consultations. I watched as they stumbled over words to explain why they were here. I asked in Mandarin, “Do you speak Chinese?” Their faces lit up! I checked them in and they sat down with their questionnaires. Again, I watched their eyebrows furrow as they scanned the pages. I decided to sit with them, and we went through each question together. Although it took time and I had to stop briefly to help other patients, I am glad I did. The Lin’s gained the confidence to explain how they felt, the therapist gained better knowledge of their conditions, and I gained their trust. On their final visit, the Lin’s gave me a red envelope and told me, “If not for you, we would be forced to look for help elsewhere. We are so happy we met you.” Navigating healthcare is tricky enough for patients, but having providers who take the time to listen and communicate relieves some of the burden. As a current healthcare worker and future PA, I will always strive to understand my patients’ points of view and build the trust necessary to provide excellent patient care.
As I continued to gain clinical experience, a common theme I noticed was that nothing can be done alone. At my current role as a medical assistant (MA) in a Chinese gastrointestinal clinic, we have a team of seven MAs to help Dr. Yu. He can perform colonoscopies in ten minutes, see a patient in as little as fifteen, and we support the patients with anything else they may need. Despite his efficiency and our joint effort, I constantly hear, “I have to wait three months to see him?” While I understand their frustration and wish I could help, I have to explain the reality of our schedule. In these situations, I see where a PA could provide value, especially in a solo practice like ours. Our team of MAs do everything within our scope to ensure patients have the support and education they need; however, only he can plan the treatments, do the procedures, and interpret the stacks of reports we fondly call “The Three Mountains.” As a PA I can help fill that gap, be a support for doctors, and extend healthcare access to those who need it.
My journey into medicine has not been easy. Moments of self-doubt have made me question my own capabilities. However, the interactions I have with patients, the support of my friends and colleagues, and the courage I have gained fuel my determination. While I enjoyed being a part of patient care in the positions I have had, I want to play a larger role in their decision making. The autonomy I felt making my first major healthcare decision at sixteen is a feeling I will never forget. I want to offer my knowledge, compassion, and best efforts in the hopes of helping patients feel the same alongside a group of individuals with a common goal. I believe that with my ability to discern patients’ individual needs, willingness to comprehend, and motivation to close the healthcare gap will serve me well as I take on the responsibilities to become a great physician assistant.
Whitney Prosperi says
Liane,
I can sense your passion to help patients woven throughout your essay. I also think your conclusion is effective at reiterating your desire to have expanded responsibility to care for patients.
I would suggest adding in some more details about your clinical skills/medical experience.
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, describe that as well. Was there an interaction you witnessed that solidified your decision to become a PA?
Lastly, you never want to appear to be even a small bit critical of another provider, so you may consider adding a word like excellence along with efficiency when describing Dr. Yu.
I wish you good luck, Liane.
Liane Wu says
Thanks so much Whitney! I will definitely consider what you said and incorporate that into my next draft.
Kaitlin Wright says
This is my first draft. I do not have a conclusion yet but I wanted some feedback on what I have written so far. Thanks 🙂
“Hold on one second!” I replied to the knock at my patients’ door while struggling to clean up his incontinence by myself. The friendly voice of the knock asked me if I needed help and I readily accepted. Although I did not expect a physician assistant (PA) to walk into the room and immediately put on gloves to help me, that is exactly what happened. Without further discussion, the PA walked over to the bedside and started helping me roll the patient onto his side– I insisted that she did not need to help me, but she insisted harder that she wanted to. I wish I would have caught that PA’s name because I think of her often. I already knew that I wanted to be a physician assistant, but her humility at that moment sparked new inspiration in me to follow my dreams of going to PA school.
I found out about the physician assistant profession during my senior year of high school when I attended a pre-professional medical careers showcase. I always knew I wanted to work in healthcare, but I never felt called to a specific role until that day and I haven’t looked back since. I want to be a physician assistant in the future and I have worked tirelessly to prepare myself.
Pursuing a biology degree at the University of Southern Indiana has consolidated my passion for becoming a physician assistant. I have been tested many times throughout my education– organic chemistry, physics, and genetics lived up to their notorious name. After receiving D’s on my first two physics exams, I was able to adapt my problem-solving skills and eventually ended the class with an A. The critical thinking problems that most students dread are the ones that I came to enjoy. I parallel these problems to ones I would face as a physician assistant– the ones that require skillful analysis to decide what’s best for my patients. While I don’t know what field I will end up in as a PA, it is important that I be able to make smart decisions. Many of my science courses also had labs where I have been able to refine my skills. I can successfully follow a procedure, use laboratory equipment, and safely handle chemicals and bacteria. At USI, I have learned resilience, dedication, and curiosity that will aid me in not only being a good PA, but also a good PA student.
During my freshman year of college, I had the privilege of shadowing a physician assistant before the COVID-19 pandemic put a stop to these experiences. The PA I shadowed split her time between two different clinics– one was a community clinic and the other was on a college campus so I observed an array of consults. I watched her assess torn ligaments, investigate the appropriate anti-depressants to prescribe, diagnose a patient with influenza, and perform DOT/CDL physicals. While I have only formally shadowed one PA, I have observed many through my job at the hospital. I have watched the way PAs and doctors interact with patients and then consult with each other to formulate care plans. Each PA I have encountered has illustrated knowledge and solicitude that all of their patients have appreciated. The physician assistant profession was created to improve healthcare and make it accessible to everyone; each PA I have met has exemplified this. As a PA, I will work keenly to be like the providers I have watched.
In May of 2020, I started to work as a patient care technician (PCT). While the role of a PCT is described as helping patients with daily hygiene, mobility, and recording vital signs, it is much greater than that. Being a PCT is crying with tornado victims who have lost their homes, laughing with patients that spilled their dinner all over them, and calming combative patients after they’ve pulled out all of their IVs. In the beginning, I did not believe that my role held much significance; however, I have considerably grown and learned so much. In my experiences, I have been able to recognize subtle, but important, changes in my patients’ behavior and suggest a reassessment of certain artifacts. I have learned to communicate with a team of nurses, physical and occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, and other medical staff. My job as a PCT has taught me so many lessons about healthcare, but I am not satisfied. I find myself wanting to contribute more to my patients’ care; I want to order diagnostic tests, prescribe medications, and above all, track their progress. As a part-time PCT, I am not able to follow the progress of each of my patients and I often lay awake at night wondering how they’re doing. I will not be satisfied until I can truly do everything possible to treat my patients and watch them advance.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kaitlin,
You are off to a good start. Your introduction shows why the PA profession is your passion. I also think you do a good job describing how your shadowing experience has solidified your decision.
I would suggest including a patient care story in your essay. You want to spotlight some of those skills that will make YOU one of those great PAs you talk about. Describe yourself performing hands-on clinical care of some kind while connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to show how you perform your duties and what you have to offer as a future PA.
I wish you good luck on your journey, Kaitlin.
Noah says
My interest in the medical field began with the painful experience of spraining my ankle. I was in college at the time, struggling to find interest in a future career. Looking back, it seemed like I was only interested in playing basketball. So much so, that I sprained my ankle multiple times in the span of 2 months. The fourth time was especially painful, so I went to the health clinic on campus to get it checked. The doctor there explained how to properly rehabilitate my ankle to prevent long-term problems and spoke in a way that was easy to understand. Suddenly, I knew what I wanted to do. The visit made me want an opportunity to help people who seek medical attention by informing and connecting with them on a personal level. I left the clinic inspired to pursue a career in the medical field, deciding on becoming a physical therapist (PT) to remedy injured ankles.
However, this goal was short-lived. It wasn’t until I graduated, found a job as a rehab technician, and even got accepted to a PT program that I realized becoming a physician assistant would fulfill more of my interests. I enjoyed helping the therapists rehabilitate their patients in the gym but felt dissatisfied with our involvement in the patients’ overall care. I wanted to go beyond improving their mobility and aid them in their other issues. I remember helping a patient with exercises one day, weak from his chemotherapy. Watching him struggle made it clear to me that there was much more going on outside of what he did in the gym. I expressed these thoughts to one of the physical therapists I worked with and he suggested I look into becoming a physician assistant (PA), someone who could diagnose illnesses, prescribe medicine, and be the patient’s main healthcare provider. After careful research, it was clear to me that I wanted to become a PA, and like before, I started making plans to achieve my new goal.
Initially, it felt like a daunting task to pivot from pursuing a career in physical therapy to the PA profession. But I soon realized that much of the preparation I had to do for PT school went hand in hand with what makes a great PA. In college, I worked at a cafe to pay for my living expenses, and I gained integrity, teamwork, and leadership skills. I also volunteered at my school’s disability resources and education services, working with groups such as the wheelchair basketball team and those affected by muscular dystrophy. Experiencing the difference between helping someone lift weights in a gym and helping someone lift a spoon during a meal has made me a more flexible problem solver. These extracurriculars caused a dip in my grades at first, but I was able to find academic success later on and now, I am a well-rounded person who can balance a heavy workload. During my time as a rehab technician, I enjoyed collaborating with my co-workers as part of the healthcare team. I was satisfied to see how the rehabilitation contributed to the patient’s overall care alongside things like medicine and radiology imaging. Effective communication was the key to our success and practicing it with people I could consult with made my time there that much more enjoyable. It makes me look forward to my involvement in team-based care with physicians and other healthcare providers as a PA in the future.
I currently work as a technician in the emergency room of a hospital, helping doctors, PAs, and nurses with a high volume of patients. It was here that I strengthened my resolve to become a PA. Observing the medical team demonstrate their skills when treating patients while being empathetic has truly been inspiring. To people who range from a scared child with a broken arm to a geriatric patient with many concerns, the physicians and PAs always comfort and listen to their patients, which is something I strive to do myself in the future. During my first experience with a patient in cardiac arrest, I helped the attending doctor and PA with compressions and artificial ventilation. Unfortunately, the patient passed on, and as everyone consoled the grieving family members, I began to understand the importance of treating patients not as a collection of symptoms, but as human beings. I’m grateful to have learned this value from the experience, which is something that can’t be learned from a textbook.
Many aspects draw me to the PA profession, from autonomy and collaboration to lateral mobility and patient care. Additionally, I look forward to continuous education, as health science is a field that’s constantly developing. I’ve invested a lot of time and have gained much experience in preparation to be a successful physician assistant. Reflecting on it all makes me confident that as a PA, I would positively impact my community. Although my goals have changed over the last couple of years, my commitment to helping other people has not. As the challenge of becoming a PA presents itself to me, I am excited to face it with a renewed purpose and resolve.
Whitney Prosperi says
I left comments on this essay under a different name below.
Maggie says
My throat burns, my eyes are watering, and there’s a pit in my stomach that feels like shame. After starving myself all day, I binged in the late hours of the night, and I threw it all up. I pull my shirt up to look at my bloated stomach and I hate myself. I hate how I look, I hate how I feel, I hate that I have no control. It took me 20 years to be able to look at myself in the mirror without self-hatred. It took me 20 years to realize that being healthy doesn’t mean being skinny, and even despite realizing that, it’s something I have to keep reminding myself daily.
On a hot, humid day, I bring a plasma donor to a bed and start preparing for his stick. I start his donation, but I notice him starting to pale. I ask him if he’s okay, and he says he’s feeling lightheaded. His skin is cold and slick to the touch. As I’m removing the needle and bandaging his arm, his eyes close and his head drops to his chest. I call for the nurse and the donor starts to seize. His eyes are half open and his limbs flail erratically. His body has betrayed him, and there is nothing I can do. Once the donor comes to, I work with the nurse to cool him off, give him food and water, and make sure his vitals are back to normal before he leaves. The rest of the day I feel off. I can’t rid myself of the helplessness I felt. Both the donor and I had no control over the chemical signals gone haywire in his brain; all we could do was wait.
It’s Tuesday, the day my favorite patient comes in. He is five years old, and suffers from B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. He comes to the pediatric clinic lab every week to check his blood count. Despite his unfortunate diagnosis, he is one of the most positive and happy children I’ve worked with. This particular Tuesday is just like any other; he and his mom check in, I draw his blood, I put on his favorite spiderman bandaid. A few hours later, I get a call from someone at the lab who sounds out of breath. He tells me that the patient’s levels are critical, and asks me to connect him to a triage nurse. I spend the rest of the day thinking about the patient, wishing there was something I could do and hoping I would see him again.
I’ve spent a lot of time worrying about things I can’t control. In addition to disordered eating, I’ve also suffered from anxiety. I’ve experienced periods where I am powerless to my thoughts. In the second semester of sophomore year, my disordered eating and anxiety were at their worst. I overloaded my semester with challenging courses, and I felt no control over any aspect of my life. As a result, my grades suffered. This led me to talk with a therapist, who taught me to focus on the things that I can control. While there will always be times that our bodies and minds betray us, I want to become a physician assistant to help patients take control of their health.
When first considering medicine, I had the opportunity to shadow a nurse anesthetist. I loved every minute of being in the OR; but instead of being interested in what the nurse anesthetist did, I was drawn to the physician assistant. I desperately wanted to step up next to her and watch the surgery up close. As I’ve shadowed more surgical and family practice physician assistants, I am increasingly drawn to the profession. The physical assistants I’ve worked with are compassionate, knowledgeable, and detail-oriented. They spend as much time as they can with each patient, making sure they are at ease and explaining each treatment thoroughly. As a phlebotomist, I’ve learned the importance of these traits. I’ve always been very detail-oriented, which has helped me become accurate in my venipunctures. This trait was especially important when I started working in a pediatric clinic, where I draw children as little as a few days old. Working with children has also taught me the importance of compassion. Although inflicting pain is part of my job, being able to inflict the least amount of pain and making sure the child and parent are comfortable is essential to delivering the best care. Not only do physician assistants treat patients diagnostically, they also encourage preventative medicine. As someone who strongly believes that healthy eating and exercise are crucial to well-being and an overall healthy population, being able to practice preventative medicine is important to me in a future career. Becoming a physician assistant would allow me to use my strengths to teach patients how to preventatively take control of their health.
As a physician assistant, my patients would benefit from my attention to detail, my empathetic demeanor, and my determination to teach others to take their health into their own hands. My experience shadowing and working in healthcare has shown me the powerful impact a physician assistant can make in patients’ lives, and I believe I possess the skills to be an excellent physician assistant that works to show others how to take control of their health.
Whitney Prosperi says
Maggie,
I can sense that you will be an empathetic and effective provider.
You should be proud for pushing yourself to overcome obstacles in pursuit of your dreams. Good for you! While I applaud you for sharing about your struggles (and I do think so many of us struggle alone and need to hear and be bolstered by stories of overcoming personal battles), I advise holding off on sharing this in your personal statement. It is rare, but some uninformed folks do hold a bias about this, and I would not want this to be what they remember most about your story.
I wish you good luck in the journey. Should you need further help, remember that we are taking essay submissions for our revision service.
Noel says
Hello, this is the first draft of my personal statement. I don’t really know what to improve, so any feedback is welcome. Thanks.
My interest in the medical field began with the painful experience of spraining my ankle. I was in college at the time, struggling to find interest in a future career. Looking back, it seemed like I was only interested in playing basketball. So much so, that I sprained my ankle multiple times in the span of 2 months. The fourth time was especially painful, so I went to the health clinic on campus to get it checked. The doctor there explained how to properly rehabilitate my ankle to prevent long-term problems and spoke in a way that was easy to understand. Suddenly, I knew what I wanted to do. The visit made me want an opportunity to help people who seek medical attention by informing and connecting with them on a personal level. I left the clinic inspired to pursue a career in the medical field, deciding on becoming a physical therapist (PT) to remedy injured ankles.
However, this goal was short-lived. It wasn’t until I graduated, found a job as a rehab technician, and even got accepted to a PT program that I realized becoming a physician assistant would fulfill more of my interests. I enjoyed helping the therapists rehabilitate their patients in the gym but felt dissatisfied with our involvement in the patients’ overall care. I wanted to go beyond improving their mobility and aid them in their other issues. I remember helping a patient with exercises one day, weak from his chemotherapy. Watching him struggle made it clear to me that there was much more going on outside of what he did in the gym. I expressed these thoughts to one of the physical therapists I worked with and he suggested I look into becoming a physician assistant (PA), someone who could diagnose illnesses, prescribe medicine, and be the patient’s main healthcare provider. After careful research, it was clear to me that I wanted to become a PA, and like before, I started making plans to achieve my new goal.
Initially, it felt like a daunting task to pivot from pursuing a career in physical therapy to the PA profession. But I soon realized that much of the preparation I had to do for PT school went hand in hand with what makes a great PA. In college, I worked at a cafe to pay for my living expenses, and I gained integrity, teamwork, and leadership skills. I also volunteered at my school’s disability resources and education services, working with groups such as the wheelchair basketball team and those affected by muscular dystrophy. Experiencing the difference between helping someone lift weights in a gym and helping someone lift a spoon during a meal has made me a more flexible problem solver. These extracurriculars caused a dip in my grades at first, but I was able to find academic success later on and now, I am a well-rounded person who can balance a heavy workload. During my time as a rehab technician, I enjoyed collaborating with my co-workers as part of the healthcare team. I was satisfied to see how the rehabilitation contributed to the patient’s overall care alongside things like medicine and radiology imaging. Effective communication was the key to our success and practicing it with people I could consult with made my time there that much more enjoyable. It makes me look forward to my involvement in team-based care with physicians and other healthcare providers as a PA in the future.
I currently work as a technician in the emergency room of a hospital, helping doctors, PAs, and nurses with a high volume of patients. It was here that I strengthened my resolve to become a PA. Observing the medical team demonstrate their skills when treating patients while being empathetic has truly been inspiring. To people who range from a scared child with a broken arm to a geriatric patient with many concerns, the physicians and PAs always comfort and listen to their patients, which is something I strive to do myself in the future. During my first experience with a patient in cardiac arrest, I helped the attending doctor and PA with compressions and artificial ventilation. Unfortunately, the patient passed on, and as everyone consoled the grieving family members, I began to understand the importance of treating patients not as a collection of symptoms, but as human beings. I’m grateful to have learned this value from the experience, which is something that can’t be learned from a textbook.
Many aspects draw me to the PA profession, from autonomy and collaboration to lateral mobility and patient care. Additionally, I look forward to continuous education, as health science is a field that’s constantly developing. I’ve invested a lot of time and have gained much experience in preparation to be a successful physician assistant. Reflecting on it all makes me confident that as a PA, I would positively impact my community. Although my goals have changed over the last couple of years, my commitment to helping other people has not. As the challenge of becoming a PA presents itself to me, I am excited to face it with a renewed purpose and resolve.
Whitney Prosperi says
Noel,
You are off to a good start. I would include a specific patient care story that shows an interaction between you and a patient. You want to show yourself in action connecting on a personal level. You may need to condense throughout your essay to make room for this.
Also, if you have any shadowing experience, describe how that experience confirmed your decision.
If you need more help, remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service. I wish you good luck, Noel.
maddie says
This is a first rough draft for my personal statement.
I threw my arms into the sleeves of the yellow protective gown, the rubber snapped against my cheeks as I adjusted my N95. I placed the protective shield over my head and prepared to enter, yet another, airborne isolation room. Harry had just been told that the excruciating pain that he was experiencing was due to the numerous DVTs in his leg and abdomen. Already in severe respiratory arrest due to COVID-19, Harry was informed that he would not be able to survive corrective surgery in his fragile state. Harry had to accept that these next few days, perhaps even hours, would be his last.
Over the next few hours, I did everything I could to make Harry comfortable. I bathed him while I played some of his favorite jazz tunes. I cut apart telemetry stickers to place over the remote buttons so that his fragile hands could find each button. I sat and helped him eat what would be his final meal. I patiently adjusted and readjusted every pillow and fold that dug into his back causing him pain. When Harry decided he was “ready to shut down” and remove his oxygen, I ensured he was comfortable and did not feel alone.
I treat all my patients like I did Harry, with patience, understanding, and compassion, whether it is their final day or not. While each shift in the hospital is just another ordinary workday for me, it is an extremely frightening and fragile time for each of my patients. I believe this manner in care is essential to being an outstanding PA and it is one I intend to carry forward in my career.
I first learned about the PA profession from a career counselor at my university. I remember leaving the counseling session ecstatic to learn more about a profession that I had never considered nor heard of; a career as a physician assistant. In pursuit to learn more, I joined the Pre-PA club at my university, networked with PA’s, and did my own research. As I learned more about the profession; I knew it was a vocation that would best suit my values, personality and goals. It is a profession whose purpose is rooted in improving the efficiency and reach of healthcare, a profession with an essential role in the continuity of care. A field that would give me the ability to not only diagnose and treat disease, but also educate and better the lives of others. It is a profession where I could be molded into wherever care is needed, and where my love for learning and development would thrive.
I first began my journey in medicine as a CNA in a post-acute rehabilitation center where my compassionate composure and work ethic were first established. Working in an understaffed skilled-nursing facility during the height of the pandemic was a transformative challenge in my career. I learned to work efficiently under pressure when performing care for up to 14 patients with varying conditions and needs. No matter how many times I was bit, hit, or yelled at by combative patients, I would return levelheaded, and prepared to take the time necessary to work with the patient’s needs. From supplementing the lack of supplies with my own, to implementing the use of walkie-talkies for better CNA communication; I did my best to improve the quality of care while working at The Cove.
Now working at Scripps Memorial Hospital, I flourish in the team-based endeavor that I’ve learned is necessary for providing quality care. As a CNA, I have the most interaction with my patients than anyone else on the care team. Knowing this, I make a consistent effort to get to know my patient’s backgrounds and preferences. One day I watched as the physical therapy team decided to pass on trying to work with Mary, a 86 year old combative woman with end-stage Alzheimer’s disease. Knowing Mary would be more cooperative and comfortable with familiarity, I reached out to the therapy team and asked them to come back when the patient’s son would be there. Having her son’s familiar face in the room immediately reversed Mary’s willingness to cooperate, and in the end, she was able to benefit from therapy. I look forward to expanding my practice with the same integrative and collaborative approach towards a profession that plays a critical role in reducing the gaps of care in healthcare today.
The transition to working in a level I trauma unit has supported my drive to pursue a career in medicine. I thrive in a fast-paced environment where I juggle a variety of patients ranging from strokes, TBIs, gunshot wounds or liver lacerations. I appreciate working in a hospital where I have the opportunity to see trauma PA’s in action; updating their patients on the results of their tests, and educating them on the timeline of their recovery. While my position as a CNA has been a rewarding learning experience, I am limited in my ability to use my critical thinking skills to diagnose and treat my patients like I aspire to. I am ambitious to widen my scope of practice, contribute to disease prevention, and commit to a lifelong career as a PA.
iqra i says
Since I was a little girl, my father always mentioned to me that “To excel in any career you need to have the appetite for learning and trying”. This phrase has pushed me throughout my journey as I dedicated myself to the passion of learning and striving for my goals. Healthcare, specifically, is one of those fields that allows one to up-take a journey of endless learning of new treatments and ways to provide compassion for their patients. Through my experience in clinical and emergency care, along with personal experience of my mother on the receiving end of medical treatment for her chronic kidney failure, I have acknowledged the vital role of a physician assistant (P.A). The role of a P.A allows me to take a step forward in a life-long journey of incessant learning and gives me the privilege to be on the providing end of healthcare to help many like my mother.
My experiences in different sectors of healthcare have been a preeminent eye opener toward the medical field. I started in healthcare as a receptionist in a clinic and built many pivotal traits, like multitasking and patient hospitality. However, as a receptionist, I was eager to dip my toes into different aspects of the clinic. Therefore, I got certified as a phlebotomist, while juggling full time school and work . Learning a new skill was arduous, I still remember the difficulty in blood draw of my first elderly patient. The seventy year old cancer patient with spider veins, had an optimistic attitude as he told me “ I know you got this,”. That really motivated me and resulted in a successful blood draw in the first prick. Such moments are the admirable aspects of healthcare, as providers, patients and healthcare workers all motivate one another and flourish by learning day by day. Phlebotomy really allowed me to get hands on and build trust with the patients in an one on one experience and established my desire of being in the medical field.
The kick start to my goal of becoming a P.A was in my transition of becoming a scribe. Scribing in a multi-provider internal medicine office allowed me to apply my knowledge from pre-med classes. Oftentimes, I predicted correct diagnoses based on the patient’s chief complaints and analysis of their blood reports. Patients often mistook me to be a P.A, as I was providing great medical advice and information such as healthy diet plans or cause and effects of certain chronic health issues. My experience as a scribe really led me towards the P.A career, because I saw the gift a provider has toward shaping their patient’s health or even just their perspective towards it. With each consultation a provider dedicates time and effort to each patient and thus, has the opportunity to build a healthier community. That is a fascinating chain effect that I want to be part of as a P.A.
During the Covid-19 pandemic, when people had lost hope and had immense fear, I was able to experience the responsibility and privilege of serving the community as an essential worker. Dealing with over 150 patients a day as a medical assistant during 12-14 hour shifts, really showcased the surge of this virus. To accommodate all patients with proper CDC guidelines, providing emotional support when telling patients positive covid results or even just the constant exposure to the virus putting my own family at risk, really allowed me to feel the power of a healthcare worker. To be able to put others’ health before your own shows the gratitude of this field, an aspect not found in many careers.
The journey of life is unpredictable, you never know what will happen or what you will be diagnosed with. Similarly, my family and I were not expecting my mother’s kidney disease to reach such a critical stage in which she needed dialysis. The shock and anxiety toward dialysis was a lot for my mother and us. While my entire family and I felt scared of this life changing treatment of peritoneal dialysis, the providers at Mount Sinai hospital showed us the positivity in the treatment and our options. The P.A took out the time every week to train my brother and I how to operate the dialysis machine at home. Witnessing the P.A’s up to date knowledge and her sincerity to educate us in regards to the best option for my mother’s treatment really showed how effective a provider’s role is in shaping a patient’s attitude and knowledge towards their health. Rebbeca, my mother’s P.A, went the extra mile despite the language barrier to make sure my mother understood the procedure as well. She made my mother independent and confident throughout her treatment. Observing the compassion, trust and hardwork of my mother’s physician assistant led me to finalize this career.
In conclusion, every patient is someone’s loved one, and as a physician assistant I want to treat every individual with that philosophy. I want the opportunity to provide ease and up to date treatment for my patients as was given to my mother.Lastly, nothing is constant except change and I am prepared to stay as current to provide the best treatment for my patients.
Whitney Prosperi says
Iqra,
You do a good job of describing how your interest in healthcare developed. I would suggest condensing where you can so you can add in some more details.
You may want to elaborate some more in your story about the blood draw. You want to show some of the qualities you have that will make you a compassionate PA.
Also, include more detail about what specifically draws you to the PA profession as opposed to another type of provider. (the focus on collaboration, ability to autonomously treat patients while also working with a physician, ability to switch specialties?)
Remember that we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you want more help.
I wish you good luck, Iqra.
Gregory Zukauskas says
Hi, I did submit my draft of my personal essay; hopefully you received it??
Many Thanks, Much Appreciated,Gregory Zukauskas
Whitney Prosperi says
Gregory,
We did receive it, and I left comments below. 🙂
Kloe Thomas says
This is the first draft of my personal statement and I would greatly appreciate some feedback. This is my second time applying and I’m not sure if this is something I should address in my essay.
The hospital intercom clicks on, and a language I do not know fills the halls. Surrounded by foreign sights, sounds, and smells, I sit nervously waiting to be seen at a hospital thousands of miles away from home while traveling in Thailand. My name is called and I look up to a welcoming smile, a smile that instantly makes me feel more comfortable and settles my nerves. I was a young, nervous patient and the impact that this smile had on me was unimaginable.
I think back on this experience as I am the one opening the door to a clinic waiting room. A free clinic that serves numerous people, many of whom do not speak English and are far from their home country. As I call the patient’s name, and her nervous eyes meet mine I initiate the same kind of smile I had received years ago. Almost instantly I could see her eyes fill with relief. I was elated that I could bring some comfort to this patient and my heart was filled with compassion. Interacting with these patients helped me realize my love for working directly with people of all populations and I knew I wanted to continue to be a positive impact and help provide healthcare for all those in need.
Through working with patients at this free clinic, my eyes were opened to the struggle of many people in underserved communities because of their limited access to health care. I learned how impactful one person can be for these patients and how important it is to show cultural understanding and compassion to all people. Growing up with a mother from South Korea, I understood how important it is to be open-minded to other cultures. I witnessed firsthand her struggles with language and cultural barriers and I was determined to help soften those barriers for others, especially in the medical field, by making more personal connections with patients.
I further saw the impact healthcare workers had on patients this last year while on an immersion trip to the Navajo reservation. As I was shadowing a physician assistant at a local clinic, I saw how much these patients relied on their providers for treating their chronic problems and illnesses. The physician assistant that I was shadowing showed considerable attentive and amiable care to her patients. These are traits that I also learned while volunteering in nursing homes and free clinics. I have come to better understand the rigors of being a physician assistant. These patients were relying on her for their primary healthcare needs, and that can be a heavy burden to carry. On top of that, she is seeing patients back-to-back trying to provide the best care possible for all.
You cannot cut corners or have inattentive days in this career. I understand the high demand of the physician assistant job and have had a small taste of this by working in a plasma donation center as a donor technician and a phlebotomist. In this job, timeliness is essential. Many people are waiting on you, and you must work quickly but accurately because one small mistake with a large needle could have serious negative results. My experience at this job taught me how important it is to not waste time, and when people are counting on you, you must show up and work hard. It was at this job that I also gained great communication skills with many different people from various backgrounds. These skills are necessary for building connections, rapport, and trust with patients.
When I visited a clinic for a mysterious mass in my chest, the physician assistant that I met was able to communicate with me very well in terms that I easily understood. He was so confident and informative about what he was doing, making me feel very comfortable and not at all scared. The comfort he instilled in me is something I see myself doing for others and it helped solidify for me that this is the career I wanted to pursue.
Seeing and experiencing the major effect that the physician assistants around me have made on people’s lives had a huge impact on me. Not only do I hope to one-day help benefit the lives of others as a physician assistant, but I know in turn they will add to my life and help make me a better healthcare professional. The experiences in my life and the people I have met have ultimately shaped me into the person I am today, and I know I will continue to be molded as learning is a lifelong process. I hope to further grow by attending physician assistant school to become the conscientious, compassionate, and committed physician assistant I am determined to be.
Whitney Prosperi says
Kloe,
Your desire to impact patients resonates throughout your essay.
I would suggest elaborating on any clinical experience and medical knowledge you have gained. You may want to describe a patient interaction in your work at the plasma center.
Also, you will want to explain why you are specifically drawn to the PA profession as opposed to another type of provider.
If you have any shadowing experience, describe that. What did you witness in interactions between PA/supervising physician or PA/patient that confirmed your decision?
I wish you good luck in the process, Kloe.
I’m not saying you need this, but should you want more help with your essay we are taking submissions for our essay revision service.
Claire says
Hello,
This is my first draft of my personal statement. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Waking up the morning of June 28th, 2016, I had no idea how immeasurably my life was about to change. I was born with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis that localized to my jaw and caused facial asymmetry. After spending my childhood traveling to a renowned Oral and Maxillofacial surgeon in Boston, it was time for surgery. It lasted over 12 hours, and I awoke in the ICU to two reconstructed jaw bones, four scars covering my face and head, my mouth wired shut and inflammation so drastic it was difficult to breathe. I spent months following my surgery – jaw wired shut – trying to learn how to communicate, through whiteboards and hand gestures. I created a unique language known only to me, a source of frustration when I wanted something as simple as water. I could only consume food through a syringe, forcing me to rely on my family’s creativity with a blender as a source of nutrition. Going through this month’s long healing journey and the years of doctors visits that led up to it only reinforced what I had known my entire life – I wanted a career in medicine.
For a long time I thought I was going to join my sister in becoming a doctor, and while this was incredibly intriguing for me, it never felt like it fit me and my career goals. When I switched from a pediatrician to an adult general practitioner, who was a PA, it was the first time I was introduced to the PA profession and it immediately sparked my interest. From researching this career further as I went about my undergraduate career, I felt a stronger connection than I ever felt about becoming a doctor. This was only further elevated when I worked at St. Joseph’s Hospital and was able to work directly with and observe PA’s.
I was lucky enough to be surrounded by PA’s that were passionate about helping me achieve my career goals. Oftentimes they were gracious enough to include me in their clinical assessments, decision-making, and even allowed me to assist them with minor procedures when appropriate. Working as a patient care technician (PCT) provided me the opportunity to work with patients through vitals, helping with activities of daily living, and providing clinical assistance. While I enjoyed being able to connect with my patients on this level, working with the PA’s made me yearn for the ability to provide their level of clinical care.
One day in particular changed the way I thought about my career goals. I was working on the cardiovascular surgery unit where we had a patient in hospice. I spent the majority of my morning with this patient, getting worn down by the physical and mental strain of caring for him. I went into the break room frustrated with being a tech and thinking that I could not wait until the day that I was a PA. A doctor walked into the break room, a man who I soon found out to be Dr. Mazen Beshara, Chief of Cardiovascular Surgery at St. Joseph’s Hospital.
Dr. Bershara started a conversation, as he noticed that I was a PCT. After learning that I wanted to become a PA, he gave me endless wisdom and advice from his career, explaining that being a tech teaches you the fundamentals of how to connect with patients, providing them with care at the most intimate and personal level. He went on to say that once I am able to provide advanced clinical care as a PA, I can remember how to connect with patients in this way. He was able to give such advice because he also started his career as a tech. After this conversation, I went back to providing care to my hospice patient with a newfound sense of excitement for being a PCT, knowing how beneficial the experience was going to be for me when I became a PA. Even with my current job as a medical assistant, providing more clinical-based care than my previous job, I still draw on my knowledge and experience of connecting with patients on that personal level, something that I think will set me apart as a PA.
From the experiences with my surgery and working in the healthcare field as a PCT and MA, I have seen firsthand how intricate and beautifully flawed the human body is, and remain a proud advocate for the miracles that healthcare workers perform every day. This is why I hope to one day work alongside the people who healed me as a PA.
Whitney Prosperi says
Claire,
I trust that you will be an empathetic caregiver because of your own patient experience.
I suggest condensing where you can so you can add in some more of your medical knowledge and clinical experience.
Also, include a patient care story that spotlights you in action providing care while also connecting with a patient on a personal level. You want to reveal some of the characteristics that will make you an effective PA.
I’m not saying you need this but remember we are taking submissions for our essay revision service should you want more help.
I wish you good luck, Claire.