Over at Inside PA Training, Paul wrote a wonderful blog post about the common pitfalls that many PA school applicants fall victim to while preparing their PA school essays.
Common Physician Assistant Essay Pitfalls
- Clichés
- Lack of specificity
- Weak conclusion
- No theme
- Boring introduction
This is an excellent list because several years ago, while I was applying to PA school, I proved how adhering to each one of these elements was a guaranteed formula for failure.
I wrote a blog post a while back about how to get into the PA school of your choice. Part of my recommendation was to throw caution to the wind and apply with your heart and not your mind. This, as you know, is easier said than done.
Every one of the above pitfalls is what happens when you “think” too much.
The Six Hundred Words (or less) that Changed my Life
I applied to five PA schools in 2001 (prior to The Central Application Service for Physician Assistants (CASPA).
First, I used an essay that I thought gave the review committee everything they would need to see that I was a stellar applicant. It showed my strengths, brown-nosed a bit, and proved that I had the pedigree to be a wonderful healthcare provider.
But, as you will see, it lacked heart, honesty, passion, and most of all . . . grit.
I received my fourth rejection letter as I was completing my application for the University of Medicine and Dentistry (UMDNJ). I was demoralized.
That night I sat down at my computer and composed what would become the 600 words that changed my life forever. I had not read them for over 11 years until this morning.
I had never taken the time to go back and see what made the difference. What had made the essay I sent to UMDNJ different from the previous four flops? I was thinking about this list of essay pitfalls this morning and decided to go back and see if I could find my original essays. I was delighted to find all of them, they brought back strong feelings and wonderful memories.
I am going to share with you both essays. The one that worked, the one that didn't, and I want you to guess the winner. Avoid the urge to reveal the answer, reading through both essays will help you as you sit down to write your personal statement.
When I applied to UMDNJ (Rutgers) I was 0.1 points below the minimum GPA requirement to even consider sending an application. The fact that they opened my application and offered me an interview was a miracle. Yet, I was admitted just a week after my trip to New Jersey.
Where were those other 4.0 Ivy leaguers I met during my interview? They were placed on the waiting list.
I am not trying to gloat, but I want to point out that the essay may be the single most important thing you do. It is the reason I was accepted to PA school.
The most extraordinary stories come out of things grounded in the ordinaryClick To TweetTwo PA School Applications Essays: Why Do You Want To Be a PA-C?
PA School Essay # 1
Why Do You Want to Be a Physician Assistant?
Every day is a gift to be embraced wholeheartedly. It is our job to fill that day with a hopeful and meaningful purpose. It has been said that “the most important thing in life is to live your life for something more important than your life” William James. It is deeply rooted in this philosophy that I desire to become a physician assistant (PA). I hope to provide quality healthcare to the underprivileged, an area of medicine, which I have noted to be dramatically underserved.
I became involved in health care four years ago to help finance my college education. I worked as a medical record clerk in the University of Washington health clinic. In addition to delivering medical records, I assisted the hospital staff in a variety of activities. I loved working with the staff and admired how well they operated as a team. I desired more direct patient care and in January 1998, when a student position opened in the lab, I jumped at the opportunity. In a few weeks, I was drawing blood, interacting with patients, and helping with a variety of technical procedures. I loved what I was doing. The patients were often uneasy when facing a needle for the first time. I was able to comfort them, help them to smile, and ease their nervous tensions. My job required that I work throughout the various University hospitals. This provided an opportunity to work within a variety of settings, and with people of all ages. Whether it was doing morning rounds in labor and delivery or working in the campus health clinic, one thing always remained the same; I found great satisfaction in caring for patients and learning of their needs. I felt a career in medicine was truly for me.
While working at the clinic I discovered the PA profession. I have always enjoyed the complexities of science and have been fascinated by a career in medicine. In pursuit of this goal, I decided to speak with one of the resident doctors in the clinic. She introduced me to the role of Physician Assistant. After that, I immersed myself in research. I was surprised to learn that many people with whom I worked were Physician Assistants. I met with hospital staff, nurse practitioners, Physician Assistants, and physical therapists. I regularly visited the PA at the clinic and admired his significant level of patient interaction and his ability to work both autonomously and alongside other physicians and nurses. I admired the PA program’s flexibility and versatility, which would allow a change of specialties if I desired. I began to focus my attention on becoming a PA. Being an independent thinker, as well as a people-oriented individual; I feel that I am well suited, not just for a career in the medical field, but for a lifetime career as a Physician Assistant.
PA School Essay #2
Why Do You Want to Be a Physician Assistant?
As a child, every day, I would swing on the swing set in the backyard of my house. I would sit there for hours, without a care in the world simply singing songs and swinging back and forth. On that swing, I felt untouchable. Like a bird in flight, my only cares were that of the sky and the beauty of each adjoining minute. In the swing’s gentle motion, I was overcome with a sense of peace.
We wake one day and find that the swing no longer exists. Our backyard has been rebuilt and the ground, which had once supported our youth, has been transcended. We search again for the swing, longing to find a resemblance of that peace. We hope to find it each day, as the product of our life and of our career.
A woman smiled at me one day, her name was Margaret. The wrinkles on her face told a story and, in her hands, there played a motion picture. She sat crouched in a wheelchair; I sat on a stool beside her. I had been working as a phlebotomist in the University Clinic for two years. I was a friend of Margaret’s because every Wednesday at six she would arrive at the clinic for her routine blood work. Everybody liked Margaret; she used to tell us stories of her childhood and her husband who had given his life to the war. She had grown especially fond of me because “I had freckles like her grandson.” She used to come alone, but had grown weaker; this was the first time her daughter had accompanied her. Her daughter looked tired and spoke softly, “The best vein is in her hand” she explained, “it doesn’t hurt her there.” I gently placed my hand on hers, and it was cold. She looked to me and through the cold touch of her hand poured the warmth of her heart. “It’s about time for dinner don’t you think mom”, said her daughter. The clock rang six and I agreed. “The medicines have been making her sick; she sometimes has troubles keeping her food down.” I looked closely at her face; it was thin and drooped to her chest. I realized that Margaret was unable to speak. “Margaret, can you make a fist for me?” “Just like last time.” She clenched tightly. I withdrew the needle and collected a small sample of blood. She raised her head and with her frail hand, gently placed it on mine. I looked again to her eyes while placing a bandage on her hand. It was warm now. “Time for dinner mom”, replied her daughter. I smiled and waved goodbye “Margaret, I will see you again next week.” She raised her head and smiled. Without a word, she made perfect sense. I never saw Margaret again.
In the memory of Margaret and every patient who has individually touched my every day, I have regained a piece of the backyard swing that I loved so much as a child. I have been directly involved in health care for four years. Every day has brought great joy. To be a part of a person’s day is a wonderful blessing. Certainly, there are many pleasures in life. But, for me, none is greater than that which we find in the healing touch of another. As the eternal motion of the swing, it is in this that I find great peace.
Which essay is the one that got me an acceptance letter?
The difference: One is written from the heart, the other is full of clichés, lacks specificity, has no theme, has a boring introduction, and a weak conclusion!
Final Thoughts
The personal statement is a great way for you to really expand upon who you are, why you are interested in being a PA, how you got to this point, and why you think you are a good fit. It is an excellent opportunity to really speak about the person you are. Be honest - write it yourself! We do read these very carefully. - Elissa Love, BCM PA Program in Houston
As you sit down to write your PA school application essay remember this example.
In life, almost nothing ever goes to those who try to blend into the crowd. Your PA School application essay should be different, reflect who you really are, and not pander to what you think other people want to hear. This is a rule of thumb not just for your essay and for applying to PA school but for life in general.
As you write dig deep, don't hold back, and believe in your words. Set your noisy mind aside and try to find that place inside your head where your heart resides. This is where you will separate yourself from the crowd, this is where your journey to PA both begins and ends!
Bonus: PAEA Application Essay Do's and Don'ts
View all posts in this series
- How to Write the Perfect Physician Assistant School Application Essay
- The Physician Assistant Essay and Personal Statement Collaborative
- Do You Recognize These 7 Common Mistakes in Your Personal Statement?
- Prerequisite Coursework: How to Design the Perfect Pre-PA School Curriculum
- Healthcare Experience Required for PA School: The Ultimate Guide
- 7 Essays in 7 Days: PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 1, “A PA Changed My Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 2, “I Want to Move Towards the Forefront of Patient Care”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 3, “She Smiled, Said “Gracias!” and Gave me a Big Hug”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 4, “I Have Gained so Much Experience by Working With Patients”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 5, “Then Reach, my Son, and Lift Your People up With You”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 6, “That First Day in Surgery was the First Day of the Rest of my Life”
- PA Personal Statement Workshop: Essay 7, “I Want to Take People From Dying to Living, I Want to Get Them Down From the Cliff.”
- Physician Assistant Personal Statement Workshop: “To say I was an accident-prone child is an understatement”
- 9 Simple Steps to Avoid Silly Spelling and Grammar Goofs in Your PA School Personel Statement
- 5 Tips to Get you Started on Your Personal Essay (and why you should do it now)
- How to Write Your Physician Assistant Personal Statement The Book!
- How to Write “Physician Assistant” The Definitive PA Grammar Guide
- Secrets of Successful PA School Letters of Recommendation
- 101 PA School Admissions Essays: The Book!
- 5 Things I’ve Learned Going Into My Fourth Physician Assistant Application Cycle
- 7 Tips for Addressing Shortcomings in Your PA School Personal Statement
- The #1 Mistake PRE-PAs Make on Their Personal Statement
- The Ultimate PA School Personal Statement Starter Kit
- The Ultimate Guide to CASPA Character and Space Limits
- The GRE and PA School: The Pre-PA Advisor Series
- 10 Questions Every PA School Personal Statement Must Answer
- 5 PA School Essays That Got These Pre-PAs Accepted Into PA School
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself While Writing Your PA School Personal Statement
- 101 PA School Applicants Answer: What’s Your Greatest Strength?
- 12 Secrets to Writing an Irresistible PA School Personal Statement
- 7 Rules You Must Follow While Writing Your PA School Essay
- You Have 625 Words and 2.5 Minutes to Get Into PA School: Use Them Wisely
- What’s Your #1 Personal Statement Struggle?
- 31 (NEW) CASPA PA School Personal Statement Examples
- How to Prepare for Your PA School Interview Day Essay
- Should You Write Physician Associate or Physician Assistant on Your PA School Essay?
- Meet the World’s Sexiest PA School Applicants
- PA School Reapplicants: How to Rewrite Your PA School Essay for Guaranteed Success
- How to Write a Personal Statement Intro that Readers Want to Read
- PA School Reapplicant Personal Statement Checklist
- How to Deal with Bad News in Your Personal Statement
- Inside Out: How to use Pixar’s Rules of Storytelling to Improve your PA Personal Statement
- Ratatouille: A Pixar Recipe for PA School Personal Statement Success
- Personal Statement Panel Review (Replay)
- Mind Mapping: A Tool for Personal Statements, Supplemental Essays, and Interviews
- Start at the End: Advice for your PA School Personal Statement
Val says
When most people hear the word “cancer”, it brings about feelings of fear and anxiety but for me, it is my passion. My interest in medicine began when I was in ninth grade and my mother was diagnosed stage III colon cancer, coming as a complete surprise to our family. Up until that point, I had never known anyone with cancer. Following the diagnosis and surgeries, our family became very involved in the treatment process. My mother would discuss with me the meaning of the blood tests and what different chemotherapy drugs were, as she weighed the drug studies available to her. We would all attend doctor visits and chemotherapy sessions, with the final session being celebrated with balloons and confetti. Throughout this entire journey, our family built very close relationships with nurses, doctors, and many other hospital staff. The compassion that everyone showed to not only my mother but our family as well was remarkable and inspiring. As we all traveled down this path of uncertainty, I found myself wondering how this dreadful disease works and how it needed to be treated. This marked the beginning of my desire to enter the medical field and treat patients with cancer.
At the time I entered college, I had the misconception that in order to treat patients, I need to become a doctor. As a result I started on the pre-med track, completing all of the science courses that my schedule would allow and trying to get any health care experience available. While starting the process of applying to medical school, I began working in the medical field as an emergency room scribe. It was during this time that I started to see the behind the scenes obligations of a physician that take away from treating patients, the things that no one teaches you as an undergraduate. I also had the pleasure of working along side physician assistants in the emergency room. Prior to this time of my life, I had remotely heard of physician assistants but never understood or knew exactly what their role was in the medical field. I quickly learned that they treated patients in the same manner as physicians, only asking for help when uncertain about a particular diagnosis. One of the physicians that I worked closely with while scribing became a great mentor to me. We would have in depth discussions, often times during a 2AM lunch break, about the ever-changing field of medicine and the benefits of being a physician assistant. Taking her advice to heart, I began researching the role of a physician assistant and realized this was the path for me.
In my opinion, quality care comes from truly knowing your patient and takes a collaborative effort of many different key players. During my role as a clinical research assistant and coordinator, it was necessary to work as a team in order to properly care for our research patients as well as conduct the studies according to protocol and good clinical practice guidelines. This required frequent communication with the physicians regarding the current treatment, assessing response, and identifying any adverse events and how to manage them. I also worked closely with infusion nurses, pharmacists, lab personnel, medical assistants, and schedulers as well as various staff from the trial sponsor and management team in order to provide the best care for our patients. Attention to detail, integrity, and problem solving are also qualities that I have gained while working in research. I have learned firsthand that the best patient care is achieved through team work as seen in the PA profession.
During my time volunteering at a clinic that provides cancer treatment to those without insurance, I quickly became aware of an underserved population of people who desperately need medical care. The majority of patients treated at the clinic are Spanish-speaking only females with breast cancer. They are given an improved quality and length of life by compassionate physician assistants, infusion nurses, and other office staff solely on a volunteer basis. Without the willingness of medical providers to volunteer their nights, these patients would never be able to get the treatment that they need. This has encouraged me to reach out to those who might not be able to get the medical care they need to survive.
While being fluent in medical terminology, I am also familiar with how a medical provider examines the patient, which tests are ordered, and how medical decisions and differential diagnoses are made. I was able to observe how physician assistants interacted with the patients as well as the supervising physician which allowed me to really understand what it is to be a physician assistant. I am also able to better appreciate the complexity, strength, and frailty of the human condition and have had the opportunity to display compassion and composure. The experiences that have led me to the path of becoming a physician assistant have also provided me with many valuable skills that I will carry with me throughout my career.
Kevin says
I’m hoping to complete everything for my application early! Thanks for reviewing.
The night of January 12, 2010 was the start of a defining chapter in my life. After delivering a patient to the emergency room I was completing my chart while my partner drove our ambulance back to base. I don’t remember the song on the radio, but I remember the hysteria that broke through; a 7.0 earthquake had just shattered Léogâne, Haiti.
I had been to Haiti on medical missions twice in the preceding year with a non-profit medical team; lead by my son’s pediatrician. Our travels had taken us in the vicinity of Léogâne and I remembered the area well. While there, we held mobile clinics which provided the only health care in that region of Haiti. These were often inside of schools, churches, or local orphanages and people would travel hours for medical attention.
I knew that I would be receiving a phone call asking if I was able to travel with the group yet again. I also knew that my answer would be a very complicated yes. My wife had just given birth to our first child just four months prior and I was afraid to leave them. I don’t know what frightened me more; the feelings of helplessness while people were suffering in Haiti or the feeling of letting my family down by leaving them.
We landed in Haiti six days later. As an Infantry Marine infantryman who had served in Iraq I knew what a war zone was. Seeing the devastation in Haiti was different. It looked like a war zone, but without the smell of ordinance or the sounds of weaponry. The destruction was no less real.
We immediately started treating who we could with what we had. I delivered my first stillbirth under the light of a headlamp. I held a teenager’s leg as we amputated what remained after being crushed by rubble. While passing by a make-shift waiting area, the first thing my eyes found was a three-year-old boy who had second and third degree burns to about sixty percent of his body. He just sat there in his mother’s arms whimpering. My feelings were a mixture of outrage, pity, and disbelief. How long has he been suffering? Why was no one helping him? I realized that there was in fact, no one else. We were it. At this moment I was struck with the realization that I needed to further my education. If I wanted to do more for people, I would have to do more with my education.
All of my life I’ve been infatuated with medicine. I knew early on that I lacked the patience and discipline necessary to be successful in college immediately after high school, so I chose to enlist in the Marine Corps. I recognized that with the structure and disciple provided, I would learn the tools necessary to excel in whatever future endeavors I took on. After honorably serving in the Marine Corps I trained to become a paramedic and later, a firefighter. I enjoyed this line of work immensely, but felt something was missing. I stepped up my game by quitting my job as a firefighter and joined the ranks as a flight paramedic. I wanted the ability to practice medicine on a higher level. That is where my heart is. The autonomy, scope of practice, and learning curve was a bit overwhelming at first but I instantly knew this was the right decision. I exceled quickly and within two years became a clinical base educator and then continued further as a regional educator.
I love being a flight paramedic and feel it is an honor to be among such an elite group of professionals. However, I’m certain this is not the extent of my career growth. The past few years have been a testament to my determination and commitment to becoming a physician assistant. While undergoing a lengthy divorce, I completed my bachelor’s degree, maintained a full-time position as a flight paramedic, a clinical educator, and most importantly- a loving and involved father. My children have always been a central part of my life and I feel that being a single parent brings on a new level of challenge.
While persistently reinforcing my role and attachment as a father, I’ve also made time to return to Haiti eight times on medical missions, volunteer for the Maricopa County Child Fatality Review Team- which reviews pediatric fatalities on a monthly basis, compete in my first triathlon, and break personal barriers as a rock climber.
It is these past years that show my ability to take on the stress and demands associated with becoming a physician assistant. I’ve shown through my actions that multitasking, high-stress environments, and tackling the unknown are no match for my determination and drive. It is not my experiences that make me a great candidate for physician assistant school, but it’s the experiences that have shaped who I am today. I’m an individual capable of handling highly stressful situations; collaborating with multidisciplinary fields e.g., physicians, nurses, mechanics, dispatchers, and other various fields all with an effort of providing the best patient care possible.
What draws me to the field of a physician assistant is made up of a few different reasons, but truly quite simple. I feel that physician assistants have more face time and interaction with the patients and are not bogged down with politics and insurance requirements to the degree in which physicians are. My passion for medicine stems from helping others. In my mind, this is best achieved face to face. Team collaboration is also another draw. As a flight paramedic I work with a flight nurse and the care we deliver to our patients is the result of partnership, which is greater than the care I could provide single handedly.
Irene Buttler says
Thank you for writing this post. I agree with statement “that the essay may be the single most important thing you do. I believe it is the reason I was accepted to PA school.” Personal Statement plays a vital role during application. You always have to go deep about your personality and make sure you understand the role of PA in medical life. Fortunately, nowadays there are quite a lot information throughout the web. Here is my best tip Make focus on a specific experience or relationship, which has somehow changed or affected you. Find a moment from your life that illustrates something about who you are or why you want to be a PA. That will make your essay stand out. Best of Luck
Jennie says
Your personal statement should be well structured and have a flow. Not everyone is a good write, and a lot of people will require some help and there’s nothing wrong with that. But your personal statement really ought to be well written and have a flow, so that it’s easy to read. You don’t want your reader to lose interest.
Natalie says
Hello! Although this is not a question, I wanted to let you know that your prompt gave me the chills. Reading a short story like yours makes me smile thinking about my future as a PA. I will be applying next year and am trying to start my prompts early. Although I feel like I lack the “perfect application,” your essay has given me hope. Thank you
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
The title here may be a bit of a misnomer, to paraphrase a famous quote: PERFECT – a seven letter word that shouldn’t even exist because it’s not real 🙂 Natalie I wish you the very best, and hold that image of your future as a PA in your visual field . It will carry you through everything, I can tell your intentions are where they need to be. You are going to be a wonderful future PA!
– Stephen
harriette says
I Love this website. My husband is writing his personal essay now, and though he has a lot of experience in healtchcare.. i can’t seem to like anything he writes because it is too much of what he has done–which is great, but i can’t seem to find the passion in it. Reading everyone’s post here, i will give him some ideas on how to approach his.. Thank you soo much..;)
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Hariette,
First of all thanks for your kind comments. Make sure to take a look at the essay submissions here as well: https://www.thepalife.com/the-free-physician-assistant-essay-and-personal-statement-collaborative/
There are literally 100’s of essays to browse through, some very good, others borderline. You will spot the difference right away. Hopefully, it will provide some inspiration along the way! Drop me a line if you need any help with the final read through.
– Stephen
Drew says
I feel like giving the name in the story made it feel more personal, but doesn’t that bring up a problem with patient privacy?
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Drew, great question.
This is not the real name of my patient and I would not recommend using the real name of your patient in your personal statement. Choose a first name, don’t include their last name or other qualifiers and you will be fine. The committee understands the use of a name for this purpose and even if you were asked about HIPPA and the use of names when describing patients you would simply describe your use of a non patient name, and then wow them with your knowledge of HIPPA and patient confidentiality. Using a name in your statement makes it sound more personal and it sounds a lot better than “patient x” or “Mrs. Y” which is very cold and stand-offish. The choice is yours, but I suggest using names when they make sense and then (as you mentioned) making sure you do nothing that could compromise your patients privacy in any way.
– Stephen
Drew says
Thanks, Stephen.
Drew says
I know this question isn’t in relation to the essay, but I’m still hoping you might offer some insight. What are your thoughts on including hospital rotations that I did in a high school Allied Health class in my application? Or that I am an Eagle Scout?
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Drew,
I always think it is a good idea to include that you are an Eagle Scout. Studies even indicate that this looks very good on a resume, Eagle Scouts are more likely to get a job, so please mention it. Don’t feel the need to force this into your personal statement though, there just may not be a good place for it. If this is the case, no worries, make sure to include this in your application. As far as the hospital rotation in high school, I would lean to something more current. If this was a part of the reason you want to be a PA and you can include this in your timeline that may be perfectly fine. But I wouldn’t spend a lot of time on it. Unless it is part of the anecdote leading into your personal statement. Hope this helps.
– Stephen
Chris says
Hi Stephen,
Thanks for your post! I am not applying to PA school but instead I am applying to optometry school, and happened to stumble upon your post. It really helped give me a ‘wake-up’ call and I realized that my original personal statement was rubbish and pretty much included all the pitfalls mentioned above.
Since then I’ve changed it all around and I think it’s a lot better now! Thanks again 🙂
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
Hi Chris, I wish you the best as you make your way into optometry school. All the optometrists I know are wonderful people, I am sure you will fit right in and have a great career. Keep me updated!
Stephen
Priyanka Parikh says
Hello! I’m almost done with my personal statement and I was curious if we need to write physician assistant (in lower case), Physician Assistant or PA? Do you think the schools will prefer one way over the other? Or just that we are consistent in our writing?
Thank you!
Stephen Pasquini PA-C says
You DO capitalize the name of a department, degree, or title of a person if the title comes before the name:
– I hope to work in the Department of Physician Assistant Science. [the department]
– Physician Assistant Dave McCormack has been in medicine for 31 years. [title where it comes before the name]
– Deborah Johnson, a physician assistant, works in the intensive care department. [the physician assistant comes after the name, so no caps].
– I shadowed John Murphy, a physician assistant in cardiovascular surgery.
In most cases, you don’t capitalize, unless it’s being used as a title.
– Stephen
Jarod says
I’m just completed my first rough draft. That was tough! Any takers to critique it and just absolutely blow it up if necessary (most likely) I have a couple life experiences that I want to remain detailed about….but need to trim about 1000 words out. In the mean time I’m going to try making additions by subtraction. If anyone is willing to take a look at it, I would be insanely grateful. Thank you very much in advance!
RamzyDell (@RamzyDell) says
It is a creative process based on necessary skills, ideas and thoughts. I really appreciate this post and tips for writing high quality papers.
Anna says
Did anybody apply to Miami dade college? Was wondering how did you prepare for the entrance test? What study strategy did you choose? thank you
Anna